Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative..

Na wah oh!

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE..

COMPLICATED MARRIAGE.

Hello Stella,
Hope you are doing great. I have been a silent follower for long but l need to offload my "chest" before person will have high bp.. Be very free with your red ink abeg.

My story goes thus:
I am a 29 years old lady being married for two years and some months to my husband. We met in the church when he was still in Nigeria, was in the same group so became friends on Facebook and we used to say hi to each other as we were not close or pals as such. He later traveled for his masters and we occasionally used to chat online which moved to calls also. We were both in relationship with other people.



Later in 2013, we were both free from the relationships and starting dating. All the communication was online, calls and Skype too. I work so l never asked him for anything cos l believe that if he wants to give me, he will and l need not ask. So l apply for visiting visa to Canada to go see him which was not approved due to the Ebola issue then. He then said that he will visit so that we can do the court marriage to help facilitate me coming over.

 I agreed so he came back and we did the court marriage in Ikeja before we then went to the east for the introduction, that was when I knew that he was from a polygamous home and that the mum does not stay with the Dad, other issues came up too but my sister told me to "chose" my "fights" so l just overlooked everything.

I later joined him middle of 2015. I took in immediately and he started complaining about everything. First, was about me working so that l can get the required hours for the maternity pay. Me that was sickly and all that, l will go to places to drop my resume and also online too, attended some interviews but no show. The pregnancy was advancing when l finally got in superstore but was part time so l didn't get the hours though l was close. I had my baby in April through cs, and had no family or friends cos l was still new here so did the omugwo myself.



The complaints and quarrels increases. He told me to cook for his work friends that were coming to see the baby not minding that its been a week since the cs and Stella, everything hurts then even laugh and l was still walking somehow. I refused ooo,he said that is my own case different from other woman. I didn't even answer him, he now said that he will carry the pepper soup that our church member brought for me to give them, l also refused. He still talks about it till today sef.



Since l came, he has never given me money even when I asked so l cut my hair and the little one l made when l was working, l used to pay for my online school stuff, hope to go back to school next year to study nursing. He wanted to be collecting my baby's benefit but l refused and started direct deposit to my baby's account though he usually ask to see the account since I am the only signatory. Another issue is in food, l will cook and its either that he does not like the food or that l didn't cook it well. I have asked several times to say what he wants to eat or text me during his lunch hour so that I will prepare it before he gets back but no way. So most times, l don't cook except the main ones.



Also, he lies, smokes, drinks. Porn is his major issue cos he will be masturbating and he also bed wet though we now have separate rooms. I don't know when last he went to church. All those his good boy talk through our communications were all lies.l have talked, all he says is that l am just looking for faults, now l just faced my baby. I am so disappointed and I want out but my sister said that people will say he brought me over and l left him and all that but l don't care if l even come back to Nigeria. 

I am so tired of this charade bcos we don't talk like couples, everybody does his or her own things, l cannot stand him most times not to talk of intimacy(its been over ten months since the last time).

Stella and fellow sdks, your advice is highly needed.

Thank you all.

*Na wah oh..I know how painful CS can be so i understand how you felt at this time and the anger of his not understanding you.

As for the other complaints,i dont know how to go further with any advice,i literally froze when i got to the 'bed wet' thingy...

let other BVs advice you for me.