My name is Stella Dimoko Korkus but you can call me MISS Dimoko or Ms Stella.
I saw a comment on that Joke Silva post that just made me open my mouth at how some people reason,or maybe they dont know but you can be married and decide to go on with your maiden name.
A successful Marriage is not based on how you carry name for head like gala for inside hot traffic dey sell....you hear?..
When i got married it took me a while to add the married name and then i had problem trying to decide if i should drop Dimoko or not cos i was already working as a Journalist with my name and every knew me as that,i didn't want to start re-introducing myself to people....I was still thinking of what to do when one day my column in Encomium came out and my Boss had added the Korkus to my name...So i flew with that...lol
Now let us discuss this further...what is your take on a married woman bearing Miss/Ms?The men who see anything wrong with this have insecurity complex,thats my take!...What's yours?
If you wanna go south with this post,Please go alone!
Advertisement
Wednesday, November 23, 2016
122 comments:
Disclaimer: Comments And Opinions On Any Part Of This Website Are Opinions Of The Blog Commenters Or Anonymous Persons And They Do Not Represent The Opinion Of StellaDimokoKorkus.com
Pictures and culled stories posted on this site are given credit and if a story is yours but credited to the wrong source,Please contact Stelladimokokorkus.com and corrections will be made..
If you have a complaint or a story,Please Contact StellaDimokoKorkus.com Via
Sdimokokorkus@gmail.com
Mobile Phone +4915210724141
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Anyway it's a matter of choice.the Koko is a happy home.name is just a name after all
ReplyDeleteI bear my maiden name n my husband's name
DeleteAll together
Am married an still using my maiden name.hubby has no problem wit it so far the kids are bearing his name
DeleteI recently changed my surname to my husband's name i don't feel it one bit i still miss my former name.
DeleteHubby don't have any problem with me answering my father's name had to change because of the meaning of the name
I don't see anything wrong with a married woman bearing her husband's name. The only instance I'd advce she sticks to her maiden name is when the name has been associated with success or known for a particular business or service; changing it wouldn't be wise. You can see how Kim K is readily associated with her maiden name and it took her and her fans quite some time to address her as Kim k west.Even at that, mamy still address her as Kim k.
DeleteReally touchy subject for insecure men. My husband and I have had this argument for years, and when the wahala became too much I hyphenated my surname and included his. Deep down I resent it. I didn't get married to lose my identity. I'm a doctor and I always feel that I owe it to my parents to remain Dr (maiden name) and Mrs (married name) and keep both identities separate. My husband on the other hand resents the fact that my Dr title is not followed by his name! It's not enough for him that I use his name as my married name, he wants me to use it in my professional context!
DeleteI believe it shouldn't matter to any man who is confident and secure in the knowledge that he is still the husband!
I ve been married for six years and I ve not changed my name, though hubby wants to change it one of this days, but I won't drop my maiden name this has really caused a problem as he wants me to bear his two names, told him I can only take one as an not his daughter, till date we are still quarelling about it.
Delete@anon14:14 it's just cool to bear your husband. It simply means you aren't proud of him. so if you were married to dangote or otedola u will still retain your father's name? If you say yes u are a dam liar.
DeleteI have been married for up to 11yrs now. And I still bear my maiden name as well as hubby's name together so those all my professional documents and bank details
DeleteLadyGee, Kim K immediately changed her name to West once she got back from her wedding. She didn't do that in her first marriage. I guess you could say it shows a kind of commitment to a marital relationship. In my opinion, a woman should at least , add her husband's FAMILY name to her name.
DeleteOh, and a married woman is not Miss- that's for young girls. Ms is used for marriedor mature ladies and its alongside your FIRST name ( esp when the addresse is not sure whether you are married or not)
Oh, and it's cool to bear your husband's family name. It shows the Oneness that marriage stands for. Btw, There are so many issues in marriage, name shouldn't be one of it
No Akinwale. If it was Dangote or Otedola I will hyphenate my name. Changing my name professionally has to be worth my while. The new name must open up opportunities that my maiden name can't. I dont use my husbands name professionally because it would be dentrimental to my career to drop my well known maiden name. Call me a feminist or an over-ambitious bitch; I can only go as far as hyphenating both names whether it's Otedola or Dangote. That's my prerogative.
DeleteIts a matter of choice! If I get married ,I will like to keep my maiden n den add hubbys name cos it will really b difficult for me change it immediately ..I mean dats wot I av bin known for!
DeleteIts also good for couples to discuss dis things b4 dey get married!
Mr peters,pls hold it right there!!!broke ass insecure fool. Anon 14:14, that is exactly what i m going to do, you have your professional identity,research papers, publications and to lose all that? Nah...i ll hyphenate
DeleteI still bear my maiden name. Though I don't see anything wrong in it. But some African men raise dust about bearing their names as if their names open doors.
DeleteWhen I get married, I won't drop any name. Rara!!! Will just attach my husband's name just like Mercy did.
DeleteMercy Johnson Okojie.
And pls, i'm not bearing my husband's surname, i'll bear his own name. Don't want generational curses following me. Same with my children
Lol generational curses follow name abi de follow family ties/blood. You better be praying for Gods grace and stop living in fear of such things cos if you enter , no changing of name will save you....
DeleteMe I go by my husband's first and last name, so adding my maiden name would seem too clumsy. But officially I still answer my maiden name sometimes. My man wouldn't mind if I appended my father's name to his, but the names would have been to long I beg. Mine wouldn't care really. Lol.
DeleteMeanwhile sometimes when my DH is angry he calls me by my father's name oo, na then I go know say trouble don land.
OK bye
@anon 16:29 my wife has all of what you have mentioned and she bears my name.Na you be the fool.
DeleteHonestly I'm having the same issue, will love to carry on with my maiden name, that's if my hubby consent to it
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
Lemme perch under You! My maiden name was nnenna Maria uzochi, my name now is nnenna Maria uzochi-obidiegwu. All I did was attach obidiegwu. When my husband tried to complain, I told him to be grateful I added obidiegwu. After all I had an identity b4 I got married.
DeletePoint of correction, I'm BARR Nnenna Maria Uzochi-Obidiegwu. Kapu!
DeleteAfter paying brideprice a gal will now say she won't change her surname?? No wahala....since we are now equal it wuld be best u go back to ur father's house and bear his surname.
DeleteY'all forgot Stella married a white man....be copying her dere....
I'm bearing my ist name,my maiden surname as my middle name then my husband's own as the surname just like you stella.I just can't part with that sweet name that sound English.
DeleteSeyi is a typical Nigerian man. Be there forming African man till soap enter 'ya' eyes
Delete@ seyi,why do u think she will go back to her father's house.are u the only man?a real man will snatch her up quickly and he won't care about naame rubbish.wtfuuuuuuuuuuuck?
Delete@ seyi afolabi, how much did you pay as bride price. Did the sum of your expenses cover her nursery education fee?
DeleteNigerians we have a big problem that is bigger than this nonsense husband name talk,I watched a video of the white supremacist peeps nd I look at how many white people see d black nation as never developing nd trump's statement about Nigeria!! Is there something wrong with d black race? Y are we not developed yet? Do we need to be recolonised again? Why do we get angry when white people feel they are superior yet African
ReplyDeleteThe major problem with Nigeria is that our independence came too early; we ought to have been given independence in the 20th century not way back.
DeleteTruth be told we are not good at governance, law and order, infrastructure and amenities. The white man would have helped us establish institutions and laws that will be too difficult to flaw or change.
And your point exactly is?
Delete@Ijora 1, what did you mean that we ought to have been given idependence in the 20th Century not way back?
DeleteWe were actually given Independence in the 20th Century now, don't really get what you mean
*Larry was here*
@ijora1 I totally agree with you and say the same thing all the time.I wish the British didn't give us independence when they did.they should have delayed a bit.things would have been different
DeleteIjora, well said.
DeleteEven the way the black man reasons is flawed.
A black man is so greedy that when they steal, they do it with the intention of making provision for their 10th generation.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWhat's ur surname baby?
DeleteNo wonder you are always begging, bloody illiterate 😷. What did you write? Disgrace!
DeleteKikikikiki!!!!!
DeleteReading this gave me headache, what are you writing
DeleteHahahah
DeleteShe wasn't taught punctuation in school
It depends on what an individual wants, discuss it with your spouse as a lady, then you're good to go.
ReplyDeleteAs for me, i'll take his surname alone, My papa name need rest abeg. E do!
Gbam
DeleteCouldn't continue my rant!! I feel bad
ReplyDeleteNice post... Can I bear my partners name when I'm not married or bride price paid after two kids? Thou we are living together as a couple... Thanks
ReplyDeleteNo you can't! You just cannot! Being a baby mama doesn't make you a wife! have some respect for yourself pls you just want to dash the man everything for free. Even court weddings are not expensive
DeleteU better stop deceiving yourself, u are a baby mama! And stop the fornication coz God does not recognise u as a couple. In fact I pray that man kicks u out and marries someone else
DeleteLol that was how my bro in-laws "wife" rushed and did change of name after intro she even got a govt job with the name and all but madam has 4 kids now and still,oga never do the needful
Deletefor me,it took me 2yrs to drop my maiden name. finally did bcx hubby was complaining badly and now,I kindda like his n prefare it to mine bcx it's easily pronounced and has a better meaning compared to mine
Madam that's your flat mate not husband
DeleteYou can't jare...
DeleteMy hubby is throwing tantrums about mine adopting his name alongside my maiden name, was even the main reason we did the court wedding with trad and white 😁,I just can't throw my fathers name away,my licences (nursing&midwifery) near maiden name.😩😩😩😩
DeleteBeefee EkaTre, you're mouthed oh. Lol @ flatmate. As in they are doing boyfren and girlfren in jenifa's voice.
DeleteI think it's degrading for a Mrs to bear Miss.It does not have anything to do with insecurity complex. Even if u still want to flow with ur maiden name after marriage u shuld use Mrs not Miss.
ReplyDeletePrincess Sheherazade I site you and your comment in that Dasilva Post. Stella you are somefink else. Back to you Mrs 1 23,your mentality is really south. Carrying title on your head like fire. Degrading? Wow, I have never read such crap anywhere in my entire life. Clap for yourself.
DeleteIf you're going to go with your maiden name, the correct prefix to use is Ms.
DeleteYea
DeleteI'm not married so I don't have a say to that
ReplyDeleteBerra do and get a husband, you ain't getting younger.
Delete90% of the time, I introduce myself with my name. Mostly on official assignment that I add Mrs -----
ReplyDeleteI feel you on this one. Been married for three years plus and I haven't done a change of name officially not because I don't want to, but it's just really complex to me I can't explain. in fact when people ask me my name I still make mistakes and refer to my maiden name. It's not a biggie if you don't eventually change it in my opinion. My husband has never complained or even mentioned it in fact he laughs at me when I make a mistake and say my maiden name when asked.
ReplyDeleteDint do a change of name till we wanted to travel out with out daughter . So I had to do for visa purposes and all that. I still use my maiden name on fb, at the hospital and for any other thing .
DeleteMoi aussi.
DeleteMost African women sees it as an achievement and can't seem to fathom it if other women decides to do away with it...
ReplyDeleteI don't mind tittle or not,once my name is metioned,cos many people that knows me earlier didn't know am married cos I didn't change any surname,luckily for me it is still same
ReplyDeleteYou are on point Stella.. When i get married, i would simply add my husband name to my maiden name... Shikena!
ReplyDeleteLol...
ReplyDeleteChop Knuckle Stella
I heart you
If you wanna go North with the post instead of South that Stella mentioned
ReplyDeletePlease take me along , as far as kilishi and fura de nunu will be in the North
Lets go together ... kikikikikikikiiiiiki
Anyone is free to bear whatever title you want, i don't have a problem with it.... It's all about choice!
ReplyDeleteBut truth be told, It's not our culture! Just saying...
If I marry you, you can keep your maiden name or adopt mine.
ReplyDeleteA wife adopting the last name (surname) of her husband upon marriage is her choice to make!
Infact, it's even preferable or advised that she keeps her maiden name to preserve her lineage.
Almost 5 years and I still haven't changed my name. I don't see it as a big deal. When my current passport expires, I'll think about it, lol.
ReplyDeletePls don't! Same thing I did. I applied for passport with my new surname since September. Passport yet to be released...waiting for approval from Abuja. So frustrating!
DeleteI applied for a passport wit my new name and i got it after 3days.
DeleteSome prefer Ms or Miss. It doesnt matter, what matters is love
ReplyDeleteKwakwakwa. Whatever mehn....
ReplyDeleteI humbly remain honourable Prof womanpreneur Dr Shantelly......
Hullo my baby shan-tellyyyyyyy
Deleteits a matter of choice
ReplyDeleteNo o. Where I de carry my maiden name go? With that my papa family wey wicked die? Whosai! Once I marry, na once I de fling my papa name. Wahala too follow the name, E don tey I been wan go do change of name but as le boo don propose now, make I'm sharpily pay brideprice marry me make I troway name as a soon to be Mrs Somborri that I Is.
ReplyDeleteLol this is soooo me! Couldn't wait to drop my maiden name. Besides, hubby's name opens doors for me in this Lagos state. Who maiden name epp
DeleteI'd one is married is better to add Mrs to your name, but in some cases change of name is not really easy. You can add Mrs go your name and still maintain your names if the process to change your name completely is difficult.
ReplyDeleteI would love to bear my maiden name but if hubby to be na dangote son, Abegi am so bearing his surname✌
ReplyDeleteI've been married for 2yrs plus....I just did change of name last week for documentation purposes. No big with whose name I bear we are just ok and happy..that's all that matters to us....
ReplyDeleteLife is worth living
Not married yet.
ReplyDeleteTill then???
I didn't think it's a big deal and still don't think. Whatever rocks your boat but I had my maiden name on everywhere till there was this program that we were called to. They called everyone out Mr and Mrs this, Mr and Mrs that and when it got to my turn, they called our names separate and the host said 'married people only' and one person quickly said 'they are married' and we had to come out, it was embarrassing I must say. One woman even came to me to say admires my style, women power, feminist blah blah but f***k it jooor. I changed it sharply the following week.
ReplyDeleteLol...that woman must be a gweggs
DeleteI still use my maiden name and I don't intend changing it anytime soon.
ReplyDeleteI sign official documents as Omah Cindy (Ms). When I marry I will join my husband's name (not surname) to my name but my title will always be Ms. Yea I want people to suffer headache thinking of why I use Ms not Mrs.
ReplyDeleteYes o, hubby's name and not his surname
DeleteThe lady in question has been married for over two decades and still bears her maiden name -Joke Silva. Her husband obviously does not mind. So why should an outsider want to cry more than the bereaved.
ReplyDeleteHer passport bears her marriage name same for bank details. Believe me. All these stars na show dem dey Do for Public. If you copy them you lose
DeleteStill bear my maiden name six years after being married. The only place I'm called by my husband's name is in church
ReplyDeleteI don't think it really matter,the most important thing is a happy home
ReplyDeleteI will change if he's name is positive abeg,some names like njoku,nwosu,agwu Abeg I no go answer
ReplyDeleteI am married with two kids and still bear my maiden name. At my kids school I still sign the register with my maiden name. What is the big deal? Is it being married and behaving like a single woman or being married and truly married? I can't inagine the stress of going through the process of going around trying to change all documents. My husband is not complaining so no problem.
ReplyDeleteI ve been married for seven years and still use my maiden at work.
ReplyDeleteMy husband has no problem with it and everybody knows I'm married.
I don't see any ado about this, each to his/her own though.
Been married for 8 years and yet to change my name.
ReplyDeletethere are stages in life, there was a time you were called a child, then a teenager, and then an adult, people saw you differently during this stages, you been referred to Miss When you ought to be Mrs to me is an error... but still it depends on individual preference. ..
ReplyDeleteI think it's a matter of choice, some names are already brands and so it wouldn't make sense to change it at all, names have got nothing to do with a happy home.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't believe someone made that statement in this century. It's very unfortunate that some folks are still that uninformed.
ReplyDeleteMy comment on that post.
Princess Scheherazade23 November 2016 at 12:23
Joke refers to herself as Ms Silva most of the time, and a person may chose to be addressed by her maiden name, ok?
Same with Chimamanda, who is married but introduces herself as Ms. Adichie.
If you decide to be addressed by Mrs. Your Hubby's name, it's your choice and very ok... And so is being addressed by your maiden name. Try and be informed please.
The major problem with people is that we claim to be Christians but live our lives outside Gods ordained principles. We choose the ones that favours us and do them, the ones we don't like we use philosophy to twart them to suit us. We them conclude that we shouldn't be judged by a human who tries to correct us. We believe (which is true) that God is the one to judge us. My question is, IF GOD JUDGES YOU WITH YOUR LIFESTLE WILL YOU PASS? CAN YOU BEAR HIS WRATH WHEN HE PUNISHES YOU BECAUSE OF DISOBEDIENCE? Its even better to be judged atimes by human because it ends with time but God's punishment is everlasting. Let's not abuse His grace. God himself said in book of Genesis chapter 2 verse 24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. It was repeated by Jesus in Matthew 19 Vs 5. Becoming one flesh is in ALL THINGS. Not only in having sex and living in same house. It entails both in change of name and status. What God has joined together, let no man, no woman, no culture, NO NAME, etc put asunder. If God decides to judge u for putting asunder, can you withstand it? That Mrs A or Miss B does it, doesn't make it right. Ask yourself as a Christian, what's Gods standard with this? All married woman should change their maiden name, its not a matter of choice, its a matter of obedience to God's word. Don't allow a name to put asunder to what God has joined. The mentality you claimed to have is given to you by God, don't, abuse it. Udo diri unu.
ReplyDeleteHian! Where did god command married women to change their names to that of their husbands? Continue importing things into the word of God. For your info you just lied against god.
DeleteIf we are to go by that scripture, then the husband should adapt his wife's name too na. Abi? The scripture said "a man shall leave his father & mother & cleave to his wife..." So why is he still bearing his father's name? Can u see ur logic?
DeleteThe problem with u Africans is that u don't know where to draw the line between culture & religion. Taking a man's name is man made tradition! No where in the bible is it mentioned that any woman took a husbands name! The only requirement to be married in God's eyes is for the couple & their parents to agree on it. But u come here blaspheming against God claiming what He never instructed.
I will remind u, God instructed the man to LEAVE HIS FATHER & MOTHER & JOIN HIS WIFE. So, again, why is the man still bearing his papa's name? Reason with sense abeg.
It is actually degrading for a Married woman to be bearing Miss, you will not be respected, especially when people knew that you are married and still bearing your Father's name. It's ok if you have not done the paper work, but that doesn't mean you should still be bearing Miss. Anyone married person still bearing Miss has something to hide, and probably want to be having fun as a single person.
ReplyDeleteIn my office I ve female colleagues that are married, though they still bear their father's name on paper, but it doesn't make them answer as Miss.
The General's wife what your take on this?
*my opinion*
Lolll, do you need to call someone to echo your thoughts before have confidence to own your opinions. Abeg keep it moving, before you turn this place to nwafor-beer court yard.
DeleteMs Chimamanda Adichie.
ReplyDeleteDon't u dare address her as Mrs.
Lol
DeleteYou can't say Mrs cos she hasn't changed her name officially.myou can only say MRS if she had adopted her husband's surname.
DeleteThe Ms. Is not Miss. It's Ms.
Used to address mature ladies.
At least English language made us to know that a 'Miss' is someone who isn't married or married but divorced,If you are still very much married why use that? As for changing to your husbands name,its the appropriate thing to do so far our culture is concerned, nevertheless, if ur hubby doesn't mind you still using ur father's name, then so be it and if not, you better respect yourself, after all no one would support your actions concerning that.
ReplyDeleteAnyways... Wetin concern me?
Stella you can add whatever you like to your name but as far am concerned you are Mrs KORK others na jara.
ReplyDeleteI changed my name, I use my husband's name now.
ReplyDeleteDepends though,
But I know that if you change your name, everyone will adjust to it.
If Kim Kardashian removes Kardashian from her name, and decides to use west, everyone will adjust eventually.
It's a free world though. Whatever mehn.....
I think it boils down to choice.
ReplyDelete3rd world people steady chatting shit over unimportant topics.
ReplyDeleteOnly your race will do essay on the importance of ugwu inside bitterleaf soup, or why a wife should flush her husband's shit to prove she is a good wife.
Look outside your window: People are CREATING things,BUILDING industries,PROVIDING solutions on centuries old problems.
Where are yo Nigerians at? Exchanging saliva from their funnel mouths on how many cups of rice a family of 5 should eat.
Mrs married woman and Mr baby ego, in 2016 you still worried about how people address you.
3rd world baboons.
I see most people are concerned with Miss vs Mrs maiden name. In this part of the world, you are addressed as Ms. which doesn't depend on marital status. So you can stick to your maiden name or change if you want. As much as I dislike my maiden name, I stuck to it when I got married because of the hassle....
ReplyDeleteHello Aunty Stella, I still think that it all boils down to individual preferences. Where like in your case, the change would adversely affect her career, or will be cumbersome, then I still think going with the maiden name is no biggie. On my part,I can't wait to bear my husband's name sha 😉
ReplyDeleteHello Aunty Stella, I still think that it all boils down to individual preferences. Where like in your case, the change would adversely affect her career, or will be cumbersome, then I still think going with the maiden name is no biggie. On my part,I can't wait to bear my husband's name sha 😉
ReplyDeleteI'm not married now, but when I do, I'd love to keep my maiden name. I had an identity before getting married, my father sponsored me to where I am today. I feel it's ungrateful to just discard that name. Worst, I'd just combine the names.
ReplyDeleteKeeping my name and surname and will only attach my husband's name. Ain't changing any document abeg
ReplyDelete"What is in a name?That which we call a rose,by any other name, would smell as sweet"
ReplyDeleteShakespeare
Nina chocomile full names?are u nt d one dat cheated on ur hubby wit ur sis in law?nawa o
ReplyDeleteWe get married and you want to use Miss? Hope you don't mind then if my status remain Single.
ReplyDeleteDon't see anything wrong in keeping my name, being married for 4years now and still using my maiden name and hubby is cool with it. My grandmother from my father's side that died as far back as 1994 at the age of 105,used her maiden name through out her life time. So you just imagine then.But l will add my hubby's name to my mine later. Just like Stella. *winks*
ReplyDeleteIf you want to keep your last name, then marry your father. Simple. There are a lot of fruity men marrying these days that will tolerate the bs. No wonder marriages don't last anymore. Instead of men, we have sissies.
ReplyDeleteNone of you want to change your surname abi? Ok. Men are reading. No wonder SnM has way too many of you. Na una and menopause dey drag 40 so. A beg stella open more SnM make all these mordern day militant feminists go dey try their luck. Who wan marry una? Some wey say dem don marry na for dreams o! Serious gwegz dey worry them.
ReplyDeleteTo my mind, marriage ought to be all the way. I have a childhood friend who is using Mrs as a prefix to her maiden name. The question now is is she her father's wife? Of course she is married. With all these shakara on the part of ladies, any wonder why marriage don't last again? so na name dey generate all these comments? You done see any prominient man wey him wife no greetings answer his name? All na for mtng. Wetin women want See? Dem no get husband wahala, dem get one issues. Make una face front!
ReplyDeleteStella,
ReplyDeletePlease be careful with all this oooo. You will end up breaking homes unknowingly. Most people who keep there maiden names are entertainers and musicians bcoz they are known by their names.
If you are not any of these den tell me why you will not change ur name.
Why do you still want to be addressed as Miss?
For me, it shows you see urself equal to your husband and so u don't respect him. You also must be a slut not to want to be called Mrs. Something you pray to become...
Bcoz God through his mercy gave u a husband u have arrived....
Calling ur husband insecure.....
Well-done Stella. Continue until u start breaking homes instead of mending them.
You have a good thing going here pls dont allow d devil to crip in.
A woman should submit and d man should honour and respect his wife.
The first sign of submission ia changing ur name dats bcoz it takes a lot of humility to do such.
If my wife doesn't want my last name, no problem. There is another lady out there who wouldn't mind. Wetin concern me? As husband scarce reach?
ReplyDelete