MARRIAGE QUESTIONS
Hello Stella and fellow bvs, I have some questions that I really need answers to. I don't know where this falls but I'd really appreciate it if you post it for me. Thanks
It's about marriage....countless times, I've heard people say we should pray for our life partners and God will direct the right person or stuff like that...
My questions are:
1. Will God tell you specifically who the right person is or will He show you through signs?
2. If you see the signs of what you have been praying for, is it okay to assume that that person is right for you?
3. If God hasn't been speaking to you before or vice versa, how will He speak to you concerning your life partner and how would you know its God?
4. If you marry the person God chose for you, does that mean the marriage can never crash?
4b.Does it also mean the person will live long? (sounds stupid but I'm curious to know if God actually lead marriages where one of the couple dies shortly after the wedding
5. A wife is to be submissive to her husband, that I know but when it comes to weird sexual fantasies, how can she go about it?
6.If God hates divorce, why do some people find fulfilment in their second or third marriage?
7. If God tells you who to marry and you go ahead and marry the person your heart desires, does that mean that you have offended God?
8. Lastly, Can God tell His child to marry a divorcee? (Using a popular yoruba actor as an example)
Please help, I really need answers. Thanks.
ANSWERS PROVIDED BY A BLOG VISITOR
Hello Stella,
I have taken time to respond to the questions by the poster. I have been married for years, and just now getting to understand God's take on marriage despite the pre-marital class couples take before wedding. And the truth is a lot of couples don't pay attention in the Pre-marital class because you just want the certificate sharply so you can have your wedding and call it a day!
These were the questions:
Will God tell you specifically who the right person is or will He show you through signs?
Yes! God will tell you/show you who the right person is IF you have a SERIOUS CLOSE RELATIONSHIP with God. Abraham never made a move without speaking to God and hearing from God. He spoke to God like a friend, so yes if you have that relationship with God, He will tell you and confirm His word. God showed Mary who will marry her, Joseph. And the only way to have that relationship with God is to do His will, (no premarital sex and stay away from sin). Sin and God do not go together. So if you want God close to you, study His word and flee from sin. That being said, most of us claim we hear from God because the person we like seems to be the right choice in our eyes, we should always remember that God's ways are not that of man, He is is the God that sees the heart of man.
2. If you see the signs of what you have been praying for, is it okay to assume that that person is right for you?
I believe my response to Q1 already answers this. Most of us claim we hear from God because the person we like seems to be the right choice in our eyes, we should always remember that God's ways are not that of man, He is is the God that sees the heart of man. Which means it is ALWAYS good to hear from God. He will never lead you to shame.
3. If God hasn't been speaking to you before or vice versa, how will He speak to you concerning your life partner and how would you know its God?
I have explained how to make God close to you in my response to Q1. God stays away from sin. Light and darkness don't mix. if you want God to be close to you, embed yourself in His word and invite the Holy Spirit to guard your thoughts and actions. God will come and He will show you. I think we all expect to hear God's voice clearly like someone standing in front of you and speaking. No. God can use dreams to speak to you, He can choose to speak to the person who you want to marry (if he/she has a relationship with God) and confirm it to you. God can choose to speak through someone to you. You now have to know when it is God speaking or showing you. And it's by studying how God reveals Himself in the word.
4. If you marry the person God chose for you, does that mean the marriage can never crash?
Actually the marriage can crash One hour after the wedding. Doesn't mean that God was wrong. We need to understand that as God designed marriage, the devil designed destruction! So from the second you stand in front of God and say your vows, the devil has begun plotting to destroy your marriage. The bible calls him the devourer! His prime job is to DESTROY! We need to understand that God has laid out rules of marriage and if we depart from God's instructions concerning marriage, that marriage is GUARANTEED to fail! On the other hand, you can marry someone that is not from God for you, but both of you follow God's instruction on marriage, submitting to one another in the fear of God, that marriage is GUARANTEED to succeed. because God will bless that marriage.
It is now your duty as that one who has built their relationship with God, to guard your marriage with all the strength in you through Christ Jesus. That means that when your spouse says something or does something to you that angers you, you remember what God says about forgiveness and apply it. When the devil comes with all images to confuse and tempt you to beat your spouse, you remember that God says allow yourself to be wronged and cheated because He in heaven will come to your aid.
4b.Does it also mean the person will live long? (sounds stupid but I'm curious to know if God actually lead marriages where one of the couple dies shortly after the wedding
Lol! Everyone has their calling in life and has what God has brought them to earth to do or be. Some of us eventually find it while some of us don't. We also all have expiry dates on our lives and whether we like it or not, when our time is up, we die. This has nothing to do with God giving you a spouse that will die next week. He has a reason for you to marry the person (if He showed you) and if the person dies a week after, whether you see it or not, the reason has been accomplished in God's eyes. Now I am not talking of people who die in cases that can be avoided, e.g. assassination, poison etc.
5. A wife is to be submissive to her husband, that I know but when it comes to weird sexual fantasies, how can she go about it?
It's funny how we only read the part where it says a wife should be submissive. But if we go back to that passage in the Bible, Ephesians 5 and start reading from verse 21 before we get to verse 22 that everybody likes to use, we will see that the Bible starts with "Submitting yourselves to one another in the fear of God". If you continue reading to verse 25, it says Husbands love your wives even as CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH. This means that both husband and wife should submit themselves to each other in Love. but the man is the head of the family as Christ is the head of the church. Therefore the man should treat his wife as Christ treats the church. Christ does not compel the church to do things and fantasies outside of God's word.
The Bible is very clear on intimacy/sex in marriage and compels us to use our bodies to glorify God, anything outside of that drives the Holy Spirit away. Meaning that we should not allow the devil tell us that practicing worldly perversions like anal sex, BDSM is okay as long as it is with your spouse. That is a lie from the pit of hell. If God designed the penis to penetrate the rectum, it won't be a painful experience, it would be as easy as penetrating the vagina, and homosexuality would not be a sin. Because every human being has a rectum.
6.If God hates divorce, why do some people find fulfillment in their second or third marriage?
Our God is a God of second, third and fourth chance. Getting divorced or being a divorcee doesn't condemn you in the eyes off God, no. He hates divorce (the act) not the person. And God is a God of forgiveness that when you come to Him in truth and remorse, He will give you the happiness you deserve and trust that you have learnt your lesson.
7. If God tells you who to marry and you go ahead and marry the person your heart desires, does that mean that you have offended God?
Yes. But He is a God of forgiveness and second chances. One thing that sets us apart from animals and makes us like God (created in His own image) is CHOICE. God lets us decide what we want, He doesn't force us to even worship Him. All He will do is show you what the end result is if you do or not, it is your choice at the end of the day So you can choose to go against God's word and marry who He didn't appoint for you, many of us probably married the wrong person but one thing we need to understand is that is NOT an excuse for divorce. Because you called God the day you were marrying the persona s a witness to the covenant you are entering. So you can't wake up and say God I'm sorry i married the wrong person, let me now go and find the right one. No. Like I sais earlier, we need to understand that God has laid out rules of marriage and if we depart from God's instructions concerning marriage, that marriage is GUARANTEED to fail! On the other hand, you can marry someone that is not from God for you, but both of you follow God's instruction on marriage, submitting to one another in the fear of God, that marriage is GUARANTEED to succeed. because God will bless that marriage.
8. Lastly, Can God tell His child to marry a divorcee? (Using a popular yoruba actor as an example)
Yes. i already answered this above. Our God is a God of second, third and fourth chance. Getting divorced or being a divorcee doesn't condemn you in the eyes off God, no. He hates divorce (the act) not the person. And God is a God of forgiveness that when you come to Him in truth and remorse, He will give you the happiness you deserve and trust that you have learnt your lesson.
Thanks Stella for the opportunity to respond to these questions as the Spirit led me to.
I will read all through when am on bed. I gave u poster dear my answer yesterday on the ihn session.
ReplyDeleteI read all, the answers are smart n engaging.
DeleteNice one
So people truly read all this?
DeleteI jump and pass.
White berry, you should.
DeleteWow, The reply was just so so spot on. Just wanted to talk about that Ephs, where it says Husband love your wife with this Measurement , the way Christ Loved the Church. A lot of Christians do not understand the implications and power in this. Christ loved the church unto death. He so loved the church he was willing to forgive in advance. (Peter denying him as a great exacmple) he so loved the church even unto the point of death. A man who loves his wife with Christ's standard will put her first in all his decisions. He will wash her feet, he will protect her, in fact, he will be her mumu(Preaching for another day). A saying says "A marriage is a union of 2 great forgivers". Now is not the time to go deeper, marriage is a union ordianed and blessed by God. You remove God from it and you would have a manage! When God is in it, even the so called stony hearts becomes melted and tuned to the will of God irrespective of whether he or she is his will or not. The will of God, (the good will, the acceptable will and the perfect will) so even if you marry outside the perfect will, you still have a responsible father whose good will is way better than the best planed human will.
Whew, long epist...
One quick question; if a couple get does traditional and court wedding without church wedding, would you say they got married before the eyes of God?
DeleteThere's no church marriage. The two types of marriage recognised by law in Nigeria and by extension God are the traditional and what is popularly referred to as court marriages. What's done in the church is a celebration of marriage which is still registered with the law if there's no prior 'court wedding'. So God recognises even only traditional marriage once d requirements are done which in our climes is th paying of bride price.
DeleteI actually didn't read it
ReplyDeletePG18
DeleteWhat is all this queations? God does not give anybody wife or husband anymore o! Not since after Adam and Abraham. That is why the bible says he who finds a wife has found a good thing and not he who I give a wife has found a good thing. Adam and Abraham were quick to blame God for what their wives did, they said o Lord the woman you gave to me..........so forget all those fake pastors with their story. Poster you too they find husband way if e fuck up you go blame God. No worry ur wasting your time, God get better matters to attend to okay....
ASHAWO WAS 1's A VIRGIN
PG18
DeleteI'm very sure the person that replied all the questions he or she no believe the reply he or she sent. Why dint you write how Abraham ended up in it?
Sex is sex which one be sex of the world? Sex of spirit they? Submit means every thing, suck toto or dick, anal or nose all join, donit as ur partners enjoys it.nobody created them selves so what every sex style or type you like na God give you or did anybody see devil having anal or oral sex then come copy am show man?
ASHAWO WAS 1's A VIRGIN
Anonymous 18:10...when the grasshopper is burning, it thinks it's oozing out oil. Keep on consoling yourself in your misguided experience & be forming gladiator on social media. You can take or put dick in your eyes as you deem fit, afterall na you get your body
DeleteLMAO PG 18, I agree to your first comment. But the second one, if the other person doesn't like the sex style, isn't it advisable the other skipped it too? I mean, that's love
DeleteI've been waiting for this in depth reply. Thank u BV
DeletePG18
DeleteAnn:21:55 I guess the only style u like is mama and papa abi? Hypocrite like you. Some one like you if you never suck dick a day, u no fit eat
ASHAWO WAS 1's A VIRGIN
U should have, very interesting read. And we'll detailed.
DeleteIf God tells you who to marry and you go ahead and marry the person your heart desires, does that mean that you have offended God?
DeleteYes. But He is a God of forgiveness and second chances.
You will first see the repercussion of your disobedience, this will even bring Joy to your new father in law (the devil), because you have gone outside Gods will for your marriage. Even when you fall, he is there to lift you up, but there will always be consequences for ever action.
Please lets view God in whole, not bits. Before the whites man God came, Laws of nature guided us in Africa. Those laws are still in existence till date.
Someone should read and summarize
ReplyDeleteMe I can't o biko
On top marriage!!! OK o...
ReplyDeleteOn top marriage!!! OK o...
ReplyDeleteGood to know
ReplyDeleteI disagree on the marrying a divorcée part because the bible makes it clear that such people are committing adultery. Mark 9:11-12
ReplyDeleteAdultery is a forgivable sin and if d divorced person sleeps with someone, it's called fornication and it's a sin too, so getting married is a good thing,d grace of God is there , even pastors remarry
DeleteShall we continue in sin that grace may abound? God forbid!
DeleteSweetheart you are so correct.anyone who marries a divorcee is committing adultery
DeleteThe Bible is very clear on that
Sweetheart you are so correct.anyone who marries a divorcee is committing adultery
DeleteThe Bible is very clear on that
One last question.is. It right to go on break in your marriage?just to reboot and start afresh.
DeleteSmall spaces always gives room for bigger spaces. Its done by many couples, but it never solves the issue.
DeleteEveryday as a woman, the first thing to do in the morning, is to ask God to refersh the soul of you and your spouse, he should give you fresh grace to love one another as Christ loves you.
Ask God to give you the grace to accept your hubby as he is, and also change i.e His anger, stinginess, ill manners, foul mouth etc James 4:11
Say songs of solomon 2:8-15 daily for your marriage. Its titled the request of the beloved.
Good response,I wonder y people break their head with wen u are divorced don't remarry!! Jesus Christ brought grace and there is no sin that is unforgivable!! If at 25 u are divorced due to severe domestic violence, will u remain single without kids because God hates divorce? God also hates fornication!
ReplyDeleteStella and sdkers tomorrow is my birthday .
ReplyDeleteNoted
DeleteOk, happy birthday in advance. Don't forget to send your pictures.
DeleteHappy birthday sweetie.
DeleteGod bless the bv that responded to these questions. I am bookmarking this!
ReplyDeleteWow!! Interesting, but I disagree with you on the issue of marrying a divorced person. The Bible made it clear that once you divorce u must remain single forever. Anyone that marries a divorcee has committed adultery also a divorced person that remarried has committed adultery. God hates divorce that's why he asked us to forgive our partner but in case of adultery where we choose not to forgive,then we must never remarry after the divorce..
ReplyDeleteThen did this same bible also talk about sex before marriage? If yes, y do u involve in it? . If we are to follow the bible very well, even if u marry ur partner,God will still accuse u of committing fornication.
DeleteIf u think God is a merciful God to forgive u as a "fornicator", y don't u think the same way that God will forgive a "divorcee".
God hate divorce nt the person, same way God hate sin and not the sinner
Then did this same bible also talk about sex before marriage? If yes, y do u involve in it? . If we are to follow the bible very well, even if u marry ur partner,God will still accuse u of committing fornication.
DeleteIf u think God is a merciful God to forgive u as a "fornicator", y don't u think the same way that God will forgive a "divorcee".
God hate divorce nt the person, same way God hate sin and not the sinner
God will never change his standard. The world may change, God can't bend his rules be to fit in.
DeleteHe made it clear in the Scriptures that a divorcee should remain single. That is why you have to be careful when making a decision on who you want to marry.
God bless you.
please what chapter and verse did the bible say do not have sex before marriage???
DeleteMatthew 15:19
DeleteVerse Concepts
"For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders.
1 Corinthians 6:18
Verse Concepts
Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body.
1 Corinthians 6:9
Verse Concepts
Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals,
Matthew 15:19
DeleteVerse Concepts
"For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders.
1 Corinthians 6:18
Verse Concepts
Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body.
1 Corinthians 6:9
Verse Concepts
Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals,
Are we still on this matter? Reading comments.
ReplyDeleteGod does not speak to us anymore like he did with the people in the old testament.
ReplyDeleteI think that God speaking to you now comes after you have asked Him to open your eyes to make the right choice by His giving you peace and a calm spirit toward that person. He also helps you to really observe the person to see red flags and do away with certain things you can't deal with hence He doesn't put it in your heart to settle for less.
Many times when people say God spoke to them, they actually spoke to themselves. The Holy spirit gives insight in stillness(quietness). That's what speaking means to me.
What we need is to ask God to really open our eyes to see what it is that we really need and will give us peace of mind because it is
key in marriage.
Above all, a godly spouse is everything because the fear of God shapes character. You must not be religious but spiritual. Have a deep and meaningful relationship and reverence for God. When you truly fear God, there are so many things you can't do.
God help us all!
I utterly agree with you 👌
Delete👏👏👏
DeleteGood!
DeleteMy dear I disagree with you. God still speaks to those who want to hear. I have heard him speak to me audibly, so don't generalise.
DeleteThe fact is this, God is not a respecter of anybody, I ve a yahoo boy cuz, he went to club with his friends and the took their prostitutes at the club, his friend's prostitute to his friend that did yahoo plus to stop using a particular black soap, else he will die b4 dec last year, the boy was so surprised, that how did she know,that girl saved him, u can't understand God, the woman that gave birth to a baby with Quran in mushin sells paraga, why dint God take that child to a prince in dubai to have him, The devil operates in a way that some of u won't understand, a child of great value and good destiny might b coming into a familyy and the devil knows there is nothing he can do to stop that child, cos it is the will of God, so the devil will start attacking 50years to the tym of the coming of the child, so what do we need to do? Even when we r not doing God's will, pray, ask for forgiveness and b thankfUl.
DeleteHere to read comments and learn one or two things.
ReplyDeleteYou say we should keep away from pre marital sex so we can hear directly from God abi?...
ReplyDeleteOkay,the Abraham you used as an example had many wives and several concubines!..
Yet you claim we should keep off from fornicating...
See sex is here to stay and there is nothing you people can tell us to stay away from it!...
Abraham had many wives? Wow!!!
DeleteE be like say I dey read my own bible upside down.
I also disagree on the divorce part.
Oh lord this woman!
DeleteFake human being..
DeleteLinda, the bible is a life manual, we read it to glean from it. We fall short of God's glory by being mere mortals but we should not be braggadocious with sin because we did not create ourselves and are accountable to God at the end of our classroom journey here.
DeleteLife is very fickle. We should deal with God with humility.
Do not be conformed to the doings of the world... Only His grace can help us stay on track when we fail. Please change that mindset.
La effizy,
DeleteGo back and read your genesis well...
Infact,read Genesis 25:5..
All God's besties in the bible are polygamous...they had several wives and concubines...go and read about David and king solomon!...
DeleteYou're right dear Abraham many concubines.
DeleteLinda Eze, be careful the way you mislead people!
DeleteAbraham took in those ladies after the death of Sarah his wife!
He even willed all that he had to Isaac alone and only gave gifts to those other children. And was buried next to his wife Sarah*!
His only recognised children who were blessed by God was Ishmael (his wife was aware) and Isaac!
Stop misinterpreting the bible because you have no self control towards sex! We all love it; but we ain't animals that is why the word self-control* is key!
Aunty akwam iko!
Marriage matter oge obuna. Ayam tired mehn.. *sighs loudly*
ReplyDeleteAs for no one, God can tell you specifically the right person to marry though it's not the same for everyone. I use to doubt it until it happened to my very close friend.
ReplyDeleteMarriage is ordained by God. He showed me my husband in my dream. Not once,not twice. My dad gets revelations too and he confirmed it.
ReplyDeletebv Ochornma😎
When I was single,i fucked all the fuckable!!...
ReplyDeleteI wasn't even close to God nor prayed for a good husband yet he gave me the best!...
I was on top of him fucking the shit out of his brain when he proposed...
Does it mean he heard from God before proposing on top of our love making ?..
Cos he has not stoped telling anyone that he meet how his wife is the best thing that has happend to his life...
That it is popular doesn't make it right. That many of us sin doesn't make sin holy.
DeleteQueen oooo
DeleteQueen of sex. Hahahahaha
dont you just have a special place in my heart?
Delete👐👐
DeleteLmao u be case
DeleteSorry for your so called horseband, tueh
DeleteYou are a bae
Delete👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋
DeleteThis is my best comment on SDK 😂😂 Queen you're just one very honest woman. And I give it to you.👍 Some people on this blog pretend to be who they aren't and change on every post. You deserve it for sticking to who you are and owning it 👊
Delete@chikito, you too? What if she's lying? Were you there? Just kiss her assn is allowed.
DeleteHa queen you got married at 21. So you were on a ducking spree at 21?
DeleteWho answered these questions. Let me read what others will write.
ReplyDeleteYou nailed it. Especially from question 4 downwards.
ReplyDeleteThank you sir/ma
The no 3 is the most interesting of your questions. Imagine living with your dad in the same house and you do not interact; no "good morning", no discussions, no "dad I'm going to school" etc. Then one day you just wake up and tell him to buy you a party wear; huh? Isn't it odd? Many folks just live their life the way they like and dare the Lord not to interfere; they swim in fornication, lying cheating etc. and once it is time to get married, they want to hear from the Lord. Sister, it doesn't work that way. You have to cultivate a relationship in prayers, fasting, studying of the word and by so doing, you'd know the peculiar way he speaks to you just like you father does. Sure if your dad speaks to you by signs, you'd know what exactly he means. The issue of just coming to God to find out about marriage partner and absconding after it only to come back perhaps when it is time for "the fruit of the womb"; (even some wombs that have been battered when God was abandoned), it does not just work that way.
ReplyDeleteWhat i know is that God is a God of bad boys and girls. He gives us chances to improve on our relationship with Him and also with ourselves.
ReplyDeleteMarraige is not for the chicken hearted, if you cannot endure one another, dont marry, afterall Paul never married. Priests also dont marry, they never die.
My own i dont just marry anyhow, i prayed and also seek God's help and also through my Bishop. So no qualms... you can have problems because we are all human beings but you need to settle your ish.
This your bishop seems to have taken the place of God in your life.
Delete*reading comments*
ReplyDeleteTalking about God's will and "never crashing" marriage?
ReplyDeleteThis is a fallacy and I'd show you scriptures:
Philippians 2:12 Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed--not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence--continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling,
Ephesians 5:21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
Don't you see that before he taught wives to submit to their husbands, he instructs the spouses to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
The fact that one is a genus does not mean that one will not read when exams approaches. Marriage is worked out by the two. That means that both of the spouses should take time to study the scriptures together and correct each other in love. It all about faith expressing itself through love and love is all about sacrifice.
I'd begin with a citation that you probably have never heard from your pastor (I crave the indulgence of those who do not go to church or read their bibles); in Matthew nineteen vs. twelve the Lord Jesus taught that marriage is not for everybody and noted that some folks will not receive this teaching . . . some have renounced marriage for the "kingdom of heaven sake" . . . Why this citation; because when a human mind is fixated on a thing, he/she may not hear God speak . . . for God does speak one way and another way but man does not perceive it . . . quoting Job thirty one vs. fourteen etc.
ReplyDeleteA lady I met in sometime ago (MORE THAN A DECADE) told me a story of how she prayed and fasted for God to show her a life partner and the Lord told her in unequivocal terms that she belong to the class of Hanna daughter of Phanuel . . . Luke chapter one. . . . whose husband died after seven years of marriage and who became a widow living and praying in the church everyday till her eighties. She scorned the counsel (she is a very prayerful lady and liked to stay 6 hours daily in the church even in her early twenties and is somebody I can describe as a "black beauty"). She got married to a very wealthy merchant and within six yeas she had 3 kids; a boy and 2 girls. Then she never stopped going to the church to pray (mainly praying for revivals etc. not a selfish prayer at all and she fasts daily). Her husband was beginning to complain and also beginning to feel unwell. The new year of the seventh year, the Lord met her in the church and told her that he was going to take her husband home (the husband is a fine Christian mind you). Within the first quarter of the year, the husband developed a cancer and was gone within 5 months! Immediately, the husbands brothers in Europe and America began to request for the kids to train in school and the lady was withholding them . . . it was then that she was met for counseling. In her own words . . ." I am not deceiving myself coming here . . . I know my problems and the solution but I'm just being selfish and protective of my kids . . .etc . . . i went into marriage for selfish reasons . . . pray for me to have the Grace from God to do the right thing . . ."
Well we lost contact and I've met about a dozen folks (men and ladies with similar experiences) but the import of this lesson is that ladies should pray with knowledge and humility. Men should also pray well to know the kind of ladies they are engaged to and not jump where the Lord "will take them home earlier"! A lot of times, we ladies are driven by the things we see . . . . the things we see are temporal and those we do not see are eternal. You may not appreciate the import of the story told above but let's tell you that your country did not explode during all the crises and the recent elections is for the sake of these ones . . . know some folks who fasted daily for years and literally lived in the church.
Ladies pray with knowledge and be patient; this is the lesson from this story.
What I'm trying to say is that marriage is like a bale of okirika!...
ReplyDeleteWhat you see inside is what you get!..
Gbam gbamest
DeleteSpot on..🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
DeleteON THOSE WHO HAVE RENOUNCED MARRIAGE FOR THE KINGDOM SAKE
ReplyDeleteI'd begin with a citation that you probably have never heard from your pastor (I crave the indulgence of those who do not go to church or read their bibles); in Matthew nineteen vs. twelve the Lord Jesus taught that marriage is not for everybody and noted that some folks will not receive this teaching . . . some have renounced marriage for the "kingdom of heaven sake" . . . Why this citation; because when a human mind is fixated on a thing, he/she may not hear God speak . . . for God does speak one way and another way but man does not perceive it . . . quoting Job thirty one vs. fourteen etc.
A lady I met in sometime ago (MORE THAN A DECADE) told me a story of how she prayed and fasted for God to show her a life partner and the Lord told her in unequivocal terms that she belong to the class of Hanna daughter of Phanuel . . . Luke chapter one. . . . whose husband died after seven years of marriage and who became a widow living and praying in the church everyday till her eighties. She scorned the counsel (she is a very prayerful lady and liked to stay 6 hours daily in the church even in her early twenties and is somebody I can describe as a "black beauty"). She got married to a very wealthy merchant and within six yeas she had 3 kids; a boy and 2 girls. Then she never stopped going to the church to pray (mainly praying for revivals etc. not a selfish prayer at all and she fasts daily). Her husband was beginning to complain and also beginning to feel unwell. The new year of the seventh year, the Lord met her in the church and told her that he was going to take her husband home (the husband is a fine Christian mind you). Within the first quarter of the year, the husband developed a cancer and was gone within 5 months! Immediately, the husbands brothers in Europe and America began to request for the kids to train in school and the lady was withholding them . . . it was then that she was met for counseling. In her own words . . ." I am not deceiving myself coming here . . . I know my problems and the solution but I'm just being selfish and protective of my kids . . .etc . . . i went into marriage for selfish reasons . . . pray for me to have the Grace from God to do the right thing . . ."
Well we lost contact and I've met about a dozen folks (men and ladies with similar experiences) but the import of this lesson is that ladies should pray with knowledge and humility. Men should also pray well to know the kind of ladies they are engaged to and not jump where the Lord "will take them home earlier"! A lot of times, we ladies are driven by the things we see . . . . the things we see are temporal and those we do not see are eternal. You may not appreciate the import of the story told above but let's tell you that your country did not explode during all the crises and the recent elections is for the sake of these ones . . . know some folks who fasted daily for years and literally lived in the church.
Ladies pray with knowledge and be patient; this is the lesson from this story.
Dogo turenchi..
ReplyDeleteMarriage should be played by ear, and not by the book.
Heavens knows I ain't reading no book or article before or after marriage.
The bible made it clear that marrying a divorced person is equal to adultery and adultery is SIN! Go figure, so pls stop turning the bible upside down
ReplyDeleteGod forgives other sins too
DeleteDOES MARRIAGES SUCCEED BECAUSE GOD REVEALED?
ReplyDeleteLadies, you've got to "work it out". God loves you and you've got to love him back by observing his words and respecting yourself. The virtuous characters are not dispensable; you must have them. A lot happens in marriages even to the stupendous rich; have seen a lot of folks who went to zero due to difficulties they did not cultivate or bargain for. The question is; how do the their spouses behave then?
“I want him all to myself”. Have counseled a lot of ladies who begin with this line once the topic is “marriage”. The thing is; “will he have you all to himself”? He probably married you when you were in school; helped to train you and even your sibs. But the moment he gets laid off, you jump to the bed of another “piece of penis” and “vain peanuts” you call money. Someone who has been professing love to her husband and for whom he just bought a piece of costly property has misbehaved the very day he brought his sack letter from his position as a top bank executive. Her reason; “can’t marry a jobless man”. We ladies should be careful for the wicked receive their due reward even here on earth. Ladies, please ask yourself the second question above; the man I am telling I love, am I deceiving him and myself. Will the wedding go on if he is sacked today?
Another young man who is an executive in an oil firm and about to get married also did a most remarkable thing. He printed out a sack letter and filled his name and cried home, called and showed his fresh graduate fiancee, the lady wept but said that wedding date remains. They will be wedding next month. The thing is that the guy had even gotten posted to the European headquarters of the company.
On marriages succeeding because the Lord revealed; look at this in Proverbs fourteen:
ReplyDelete"A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands."
God hates divorce like you rightly said. He alone knows the reason why the divorce happened. The only reason a person should divorce is in case of sexual immorality. That does not mean that he doesn't hate divorce. Sexual immorality can still be forgiven and both can still work it out; have seen a lot of these. But if one divorces a sexually immoral spouse and marries again, of course, the Lord will grant her/him success in such a marriage. Perhaps too, he/she has learnt the necessary lessons why the former marriage crashed.
ReplyDeleteFor instance, a lady who was always on night shift as a nurse had a crashed marriage when her husband impregnated the maid. When she married again, she did not employ any maid, she took care of her kids by herself and worked in a clinic where she does only day duties. Along the line, her husband formed his own company and was earning a lot more. They had begun a joint account as trust had grown in the marriage. In her fourth pregnancy, by mutual consent, she resigned to look after the kids. She spent more time with her family and they did study the word of God together. She learnt to fast and pray with her family on two weekend days.
A believer who does not discipline the flesh in fasting and prayers will invariably lust and have illicit sex and break hearts. The fact that God revealed does not matter. How do you handle a cheating husband? How do you move on from there?
ReplyDeleteThe way to hell is paved with good -yes, I said it. After all, we were told that it is broad whereas that of heaven is narrow (that means difficult to access).
I will give you the same piece of advice I gave my friend (let's call her Ada). She was hurt because her husband fucked her bridesmaid and even made "porn" out of it. I asked her, "are you going to divorce him", she said "no". (mind you, the man was remorseful, which she also admitted.) Then I said, "work it out, pray it out, wait it out . . . be calm and let him try to decode you etc." She instead grabbed an ex's penis and sucked and fucked. This was an ex that was hurting from being dumped for the "rich guy". Now, when she eventually made up with her hubby, she dumped the ex again; bad move. The guy sent "everything" to both her phone and the husband's phone and even the phone of her pastor whom they both had had counsel from and earthquakes began. Her marriage was over in less than 24 hours. She couldn't attend church again, she slipped into major depression, lost her job and so on. Mind you that she had her hubby's porn on her phone too. But no one was interested in that one.
IF YOU CAN SHARE MONEY TOGETHER, YOU WILL LAST LONG IN MARRIAGE WITH MUTUAL TRUST:
ReplyDeleteWhen one says "spouse" one is talking about "life partner"; husband or wife. If one has chosen above (all men or) ladies to live with "this fellow' as a life partner in love; then love is all about sharing. When one say "my husband's money" or "my money" is it not an anomaly? when one shares everything intimate (including sex); if they can't have funds together; where is the oneness? Hasn't the aim of marriage been defeated? The issue of oneness is in sharing everything. The excuses many give is "I don't trust her to know how much I earn or am worth". If one is a follower of Christ; who did Jesus give "his wallet"; was it not Judas? How much trust did Jesus have for Judas? These are some of the issues that intending spouses should define in courtship.
On a personal note; my husband and I had a common "account" from the moment I accepted to marry him. He decided to put me in charge of every financial spending. He makes contributions and there is no issues about that. There is no account that we have had since marriage that bears one person's name and the mandate is "either to sign". WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT "HIS MONEY" "MY MONEY" hasn't the purpose of marriage been defeated?
Finances usually breeds quarrel among couples and the taste of the pudding is in the eating. Married for more than a decade an NEVER ARGUED is our testimony by the grace of God. When there is concealment of finances, the lady makes demands, suspect the husband of keeping a concubine etc. But when the two are open to each other in the way described above; thee will be no room for mutual suspicion!
A couple we know lived financially apart. The man is reasonably well to do but the wife dared not ask or "take his money". He gave her "handout" of money from time to time; monthly allowances etc. All his businesses were solely in his name. He took ill and his doctor gave him a damning health verdict and he had a surgery fixed. He knew that he may not come out of the theater alive. He quickly summoned his wife and took her to all his accounts and made it Joint and she could sign. Made his kids 'next of kin" in all the accounts and re-registered all his businesses with the wife's name inclusive. Even the financial aspect of the surgery and bills, the wife was in charge. He told her, "If I do not come out of the theater alive, sell all the exotic cars and keep just two" etc. IT WAS NO LONGER AN ISSUE OF THE WIFE TAKING "HIS MONEY"; THE WOMAN WAS IN CHARGE. He confessed certain misdeeds to the lady and they prayed together and he got into the theater. AFTER 9 HOURS OF SURGERY, the news came . . . he survived it! It was this singular experience that changed his attitude towards family finances as concerns his wife. She knew about every penny that dropped or left the "family business" as it became.
Then he said to them, "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions." (Luke twelve vs. fifteen)
I have missed this woman die. Is it Mrs E or so? I have forgotten, but i can never forget her style of writting.
DeleteFor those ladies (especially) that go to mediums to grab or tie a man, how do you expect such marriages not to crash? Do you think that Satan gives marriage? No he gives "sex partners" and that's all. Every good and perfect gift is from the Lord.
ReplyDeleteSpot on! I agree with all the answers. God is a God of second chances. We should not judge divorcees and remarried divorcees. Everyone deserves a chance at happiness. Let God be the final judge. There are different ways God speak, so you may not necessarily see your partner in a dream or hear God's voice audibly.
ReplyDeleteFOR NO 4B AND 7
ReplyDeleteTHE ISSUE OF A PERSON LIVING LONG
A lot depends on the individual if he obeys God's word. Supposing he drinks heavily, smokes anything and keeps late nights. He is more likely to womanize then, and he is more likely to die prematurely from drunken brawls, cancer, accidents, robbery etc. It is a matter of one living the life of Christ. You need to study God's word to know God's mind and the issues about this life.
ON MARRYING "ANYONE YOU WISH" and not the one God "reveals":
Well, it is called disobedience. And why such disobedience? Of course, the desires of the heart/ selfish ambition; money, abroad, to please parents or friends etc. Well, if one chooses his own way, he/she bears the consequences.
Smoking, drinking & late nights doesn't mean he's prone to womanizing...afterall no be choir masters & pastors that live in the church wey dey gbensh all these girls for church? Womanizing is a calculated event, it can happen anywhere. People go to sleep & don't wake up yet an idiot in his drunken stupor will drive home safely without any problems.
DeleteEverything in this life is luck!...
ReplyDeleteEven making money is luck!..
There are people that claimed that God revealed their life partners to them BUT are living in hell in the same marriage!,,,
Write out what you want in a wife or husband and go for it!...
Remember to date,have sex with your spouse before saying i do!...to avoid stories that touch!...
Queen I hail uuuuu.
Delete👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋
I agree with most of your responses, esp no5. But if you're not sure about divorce/remarriage, be careful so you don't mislead people. God is merciful, but also just. Sexual sins like fornication, divorce are the worst of sins because of their power to hold souls in bondage. Most Christians are actually called to carry heavy crosses so a divorced 25yr old should see that as her cross to bear. Christians were never promised an easy stress free life, but one filled with crosses. Ask St. Paul and other apostles what they endured for the gospel. Nothing, not even marriage should be worth your soul. Yes Queen of this blog, you may fornicate all your life and still have an awesome marriage. And I will tell you why
ReplyDeleteIn spite of what many Christians think, a merciful and kind God exists, a God that rewards good behavior with good spouses does not exist. You should worship God out of love, not in hope for rewards like a good husband. And in love, be ready to bear crosses and conform to his will, even when it's difficult to. Jesus did not come to save us from heartbreak of men but from the powers of evil and darkness. Yes God will bless you with all you want if he wills but that is not his focus. His focus is for us to spend eternity forever with him in heaven, and if that will cost your left eye, he expects you to pull it all out. For his sake. That left eye could be out our desire for wealth, marriage etc
ReplyDeleteBles the Lord o my soul, and forget not all his benefits.
DeleteIn my opinion, I think in all, God wants us to be happy. I agree totally with this response. Many always refer to the Bible, no remarriage after divorce . Yes divorce is bad, and should be avoided if possible. But what happens in cases where it's just not avoidable. When one party in the marriage entered clearly without any form of commitment in mind. When the marriage means nothing to one party. When one party does everything wrong and torments his/her partner. When one party has no love and completely disrespects the marriage, by committing adultery. What about cases where one party is a drunk and beats his/her partner at any given opportunity. The list goes on and on. So one decides he/she cannot continue in such situations. Because life has lost its meaning .
ReplyDeleteWith what you know about God, what do you think he would say to this person? Do you think he will say ' well since you left that terrible situation, you must remain single for the rest of your life. And by the way, you must ignore your human sexual needs too , because you can't fornicate? I don't think so. Just like our earthly parents want good things for us, God our Heavenly Father who is holy, wants even better for us. He wants the best.
Stella and the sweetheart that took out time to answer my questions, May the Almighty God bless you richly!
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, i felt bad yesterday that my questions were ignored by majority of bvs but I'm highly honoured that you took out time to answer my questions, you have no idea what this means to me. God bless you and your home!
As for the bv(s) that commented about marriage not being compulsory, I'm sorry, that comment isn't for me. If there is anything i really want to see before I die, its the fruit(s) of my womb. Thanks anyway.
I will surely ponder on these answers.
Thanks a million times!
I am fed up this thing called marriage two kids with one on the way,almost due self just found out that hubby has been cheating on me,my world shattered yesterday,I cryed my eye out,I really don't deserve all what he has been doing to me,what happened to the love we use to share?even when there was no food for us to eat we were so happy being together and stylishly visiting people so could eat at there house,now God has blessed us beyond measures.he now lives a flashy life forgetting all the pains I passed through just to make things work for us.i remember when we couldn't pay our rent,we would stay indoor till the landlord leaves.God do I really deserve this?pls bvns,I need all your prayers for safe delivery cause am so scared.pls pray for me.i also need a counsellor to speak with,any one in Lagos pls,I need ur contact.thanks
ReplyDeleteThe only counselor you need is yourself, it will pay at the end when you realize all you do is pray for him, do your duty as a wife, take care of your home. I've been through a lot as a man and yet I still believe in my home despite the threats everyday. Just keep praying for your hubby and be happy. I pray for your safe delivery and a sound health for you and your baby, your home will not fall IJN. Stay strong dear, it's not too far before you know how Ur prayers can work wonders
DeleteFor your wedding or pre-wedding makeover within abuja Please call 08055774848
ReplyDeleteYes queen, two fornicators can have a happy marriage, as long as they are compatible. So can two atheists, Two fraudsters, thieves and so on. The happiness of the marriage does not remove the sin if there is no remorse and confession. God still does not approve of sin, even if The marriage works or not. The devil uses the working of such marriages to discourage Christians from serving God. And some petty christians get jealous of thibgs working out for people they feel are not worthy, but then none of us are worthy. We cannot earn Gods love or blessings, its freely given. The thing is, God has given man freewill, and people can choose to accept the gift of salvation or not, it is not forced upon us. You choose to fornicate or not. However, we shall receive judgement for everything we do here. As I said earlier, most Christians are called to bear heavy crosses, and most of all, to preach the word to all. Not to join the world but to live apart from it. So yes a lot of things in the world will work in favor of the unbelievers.. wealth, fame, power, runs, fornication to marriages etc. But Christians are not to be swayed, for We are not of this world.
ReplyDeleteIt is to believers advantage to make God's will a factor in their choice of marital partner.
ReplyDeleteI wholeheartedly agree with the respondent who answered the questions, but will take an exception to the comment that supports a divorcee to remarry.
The only ground for a divorcee to remarry is if the first partner dies. This is clearly stated in the Bible; and one may wonder why God takes such a strict stance on marriage for divorcees? Put simply, God wants couples to make their marriage work at all cost.
Self denial, tolerance, prayers and forgiveness are the hallmarks of genuine Christian living.
There's no unpardonable sin in marriage for Christians. But the rule is not binding on unbelievers.
Overcoming Masturbation, Sexual Struggles & Compulsive Habits
And because of this free will, God does not automatically destroy the terrorist, the rapist, the thief, the fornicator etc. As we logically think He should. He gives them the chance of a lifetime to repent. And he counts on Christians to spread his word and love to all of creation, to bring man to repentance, but we fail him cos we are too busy chasing our dreams and praying for our own needs. Because of this free will, sex is no longer sacred to most men, making it difficult for Christian women to find good spouses. It's not God's will that this happens but it is not his fault either. But Christians must remember that any loss in this world is a gain in God's kingdom. And that kingdom should be your focus if you are of God. This world will not favour you, cos it didn't favour Christ either. He was killed at age 33, no spouse no kids no money etc. Logically, people will think it is unfortunate, but spiritually see what a great blessing it was. And it was God's perfect will!
ReplyDeleteWhen you hear from GOD you will have peace in your heart after
ReplyDeletewaking up from dream
If only marriage was that easy
ReplyDeleteA lot of woman have lost their homes due to taking different advices, if it works out for your adviser doesn't mean it will work out for you, stop comparing your home,relationships, marriages with others, it will only make it difficult for you to do the right thing. Your husband now comes home late and your adviser says lock him outside, I pity you or you too carry waka anyhow , I pity you. Your husband doesn't love U anymore, you better run for your life, I'm sorry for you they will take care of him outside. Take care of your home and don't let him be cared for outside.
ReplyDeleteI want 2 ask dis question n I will really need an answer. What if in a situation one partner leaves d oda 4 anoda, r u trying 2 tell me dat d offended party should b single becos of d odas offence?
ReplyDeleteAnonymous 18.32..
ReplyDeletedont worry you will deliver your child in peace and in good health,
but this is not the time to cry or weep but time to praying to God in HEAVEN
you know money change some men alots and some girls are not helping matters
when ever they see a man with money,,he will change for better if you always
reminding him about his past and about what will happen if those money finished,
dont nagg to him but encourage him with good faith after praying,
dont allowed the devil to win,,praying and encouraging him,shallom,from swiss