*side eyes*
Saturday, November 05, 2016
44 comments:
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Hmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteStella waiting for recharge card poo, 14:00.
ReplyDeleteNew bv alerts😂😂😂😉
Delete#Newbie...it's shoki!
DeleteMy dad called me to come see him, getting there he said please my daughter talk to your elder Bro to look for a black woman to marry , then I ask why since he's okay with his white he should let him be.dad shouted at me with his loudest voice that if he's gone who will take over the family name. Then I ask him aside the name that don't even ring a bell in naija Wat other things /is there estate that his kids going to inherit from him after u die. since then my dad doesn't answer me whenever I greet him oophorectomy chai I am expecting a family meeting soon lol.
ReplyDeleteWhy is Africa parents always like dis ni?
So funny I forget to laff
DeleteLmao... Name doesn't ring a bell in Nigeria, you are wikidddd. Bad child...
DeleteAnon 14.10, what u wrote is not a joke. U insulted your father's strength. Whether poor or rich, God it is particular about honouring our parents. Whether they live in Abu dhabi, banana island or internally displaced persons camp. Better go
DeleteLol. You mean his wife has done oophorectomy?
DeleteBetter go and apologize to himand seek his blessings bc if he curses you in his heart, whether you like it or not, it will work o. Go and read the bible for further details. It is not about African parents or Chinese parents or American parents.
DeleteShut up which curse.....which bible is he reading? The one that says no Greek or Jew or colour? After he will go to church or mosque and pray yet u discriminate....people should marry who they love...is he not a man? Will the oyibo woman not bear his name and their kids? African parents be putting meaningless barriers in front of their children since 1900...
DeleteThat was how my neighbour in primary 2 brought her quantitative reasoning assignment for me to assist her with the solvings. Na so I look the page for close to 30 minutes without knowing the answer. I didn't wana fall my hands so I asked the little girl if her mum attempted the questions and she said yes. So I said did your mum get it right? And she said no ooo, my mum don't know the answer. Hmmm, I couldn't help it any longer after trying it again for like 10 minutes. So I said " take back this book to your mother, the answer is not here". Na so this girl come dey shout "so aunty even you self, you don't know the answer. You must know it ooo". I just had to laugh to cover up.
ReplyDeleteBut jokes apart oo, those questions had no answers. Who sets such questions for little children?
They actually do have answers but the answers have to be REASONED, thru deep reasoning. When I'm stuck on a question, I just snap and post to different WhatsApp groups for plenty reasoning to take place
DeleteUr just n olodo simple!
DeleteHaha haha aunty abeg you know no am.
DeleteEmmanuella mark angel comedy
DeleteLol
DeleteIf only Stella can allow me snap the page and send to her, then will you guys know that the solution to the answers can't be reasoned.
DeleteNo be me dey solve those celebrity head maths again? #side eyes#
Thank goodness it's Saturday, all I have to do is sit at my ma's shop and watch all the cute guys pass by with their DICK PRINT showing. Today's Saturday and all of them come out to play football. Abeg make I go front of shop so they can't pass me by
ReplyDeleteLmao pervert
DeleteAs in ehn!
DeleteDad came back from work one day feeling thirsty. He asked my kid sis( then 4yrs) who was lying down to get water for me.... Guess her reply? ' Dad am sleeping' LMao
ReplyDeleteLol
DeleteI have always heard that beans water smells like hell and being a very mischivous person, I collected the water when mum was done peeling beans for moi moi, stored it in an air tight container and kept it somewhere. Soon, I forgot about it
ReplyDeleteThree weeks later, everyone was present in the living room including some friends ,watching TV. They felt so much at peace which I didn't like. I wanted some distress.
It was then I remembered the "nuke" I kept. I went for it, hid in a corner and opened it.
Mum with her sharp nostrils was the first to react. Her facial expression was epic. Soon enough, eveybody started "hmmmphing". Accusations started flying about. "Walahi, na you", "stop am, I dont like it", "you people cannot even respect the elderly" and so on.
It was so horrible. The stench stung my eyes. Their reactions made me laugh so hard that I cried.
Came out of hiding and almost got lynched. They said I shoukd go and get my head checked that who stores beans water for three weeks?
Ha, badt girl, I still like you though
Delete... Jesus is my worth!
Kwakwakwa...got me laughing
DeleteSome guy told me that his dick is 7inches long. I've been wondering how long 7inches is. It just couldn't fathom it, I had to ask my bf how long is own dick is so I can relate like "baby, is ur dick 6 or 7inches?" na him he come ask me "Wtf? Are you measuring my dick with someone's own?" since then I've been tryna convince him that it's not so. But abeg how long is 7inches? I don't have a damn ruler in dis whole ouse
DeleteGospel truth, you need your head checked.
DeleteNo wonder you don't sound normal , Darkness the idiot
DeleteAdonbilivit
DeleteAt anon 15:19, go into Google and type "7 inches actual length" and get your answer.
DeleteUse tape na lol
Deletethis happened in my secondary school days... we were asked to fill a form.. we all did and when the class teacher came to cross check she called out Rose and asked her to explain why she filled the Sex column with Three times a week? #shokiifugrabthejoke
ReplyDeleteSo rose was thinking the question was 'how many times she has sex a week?'
DeleteA friend told me this story on Thursday, said she witnessed it live some 8 yrs ago in Abuja.
ReplyDeleteA petite lady was driving a lovely car and she had her 2 beautiful children strapped in car seats at the back. That she got into an argument with a man on the road and before anyone could talk she had landed the man a very hot resounding slap.
Suprising the man maintained his cool, called his wife to come and insisted the woman's husband must come before he let her go. When slapper's husband got there the slapped asked his own wife to slap the slapper's husband to settle scores. The slapped and his wife are military personnel so imagine the kin wahala slapper got her husband into. The return slap was eventually administered after series of begging and dodging and guess what? Slapper's husband started bleeding from d nose and collapsed.
Women, even if you abuse your husband domestically, must you extend it outside?
Waiting.
ReplyDeleteon a norm
ReplyDeletemy dad buys 1 roll of shaving stick at home
it contains 12 pieces of shaving stick.
I have 2 little sisters 7 and 10 respectively and that are so eager to do things adult do(wear pads and bra)
so my dad wanted to use his stick for his beards only to get to where he keeps them and finds just 2 pieces
he got angry and came to ask me and then I told him my little sisters had used them to shave . The next thing my dad said was that when they come back they will show me what they are shaving and the hair they shaved out.
Naught kids..
Dat awkward moment when you are Laughing with ur crush nd u suddenly fart.
ReplyDeleteDat awkward moment when you are in bae's house after using the toilet and the poo(shit) refuse to flush down.
Dat awkward moment when you forming fine girl and you miss ur step and fall in the midst of boys admiring you.
One christmas,in the village,my tall amazon sister was headed back to our table at an open bar,when someone patted her bum and said 'hello Sexy'.Reflexively she turned and swung out.It was as the blow was landing that she realized it was my 'preacher' uncle who had just patted her bum.But it was already too late to prevent the blow that landed on his face.Anyway,a man that used to spend 30mins-1hr 'preaching' on the dangers of dirty old men,now only answers 'Ndaa?'when we greet him.And my amebo mum uses style to allude to that christmas every time she sees him.
ReplyDeleteSo in this Era of body whitening, I went to a friend's house and saw a body whitening lotion she claimed to have bought for 12k.ghen ghen!! In my mind I have seen myself pressing some of it inside my cream.. I must tone dis Xmas oo whether devil like it or not.. It was after I have pressed n mixed it with my 4k cream Dat I managed to buy Dat I noticed the hell I have done.. it was cod liver oil.. Now where ever I pass, people talk about something smelling like fish... I don turn sardine nah*tears*.. Don't ask me how I didn't know or perceive d smell, I was having catarrh and why stealing or tapping like I choose to call it, u dnt ask questions..
ReplyDeleteI get one guy like that him mouth odour fit kill mosquitoes, settle fight, off T.v, cause quarrel, lose appetite but the funny part is I wonder how him dey kiss girls. Girls dey suffer, I pity una... So terrible I had to dissolve our friendship before him kill me, stomach cancer dey real... I can't come & die.
ReplyDeleteLmao!!!
DeleteI get one guy like that him mouth odour fit kill mosquitoes, settle fight, off T.v, cause quarrel, lose appetite but the funny part is I wonder how him dey kiss girls. Girls dey suffer, I pity una... So terrible I had to dissolve our friendship before him kill me, stomach cancer dey real... I can't come & die.
ReplyDeleteI picked my 4yr old from school that day, we got on a bus and as we took a seat, a very big guy(trying not to use the word fat) came on as well, you know these London buses na, when busy you get to stand sometimes... so as the guy approached, my son screamed.. Mummy, look, he's very big, very big, you're so big🙊😳😳 kwakwakwa, he was really laughing, OMG! I almost died that moment, the guy just smiled at him and said "hello", Chai, the black lady who sat close to us had to cover her mouth from bursting into laughter... I rebuked him immediately, told him never to say things like that about people
ReplyDelete