Is there anything wrong with a woman giving her man money to help him out in a committed relationship?
That is what we are gonna tackle today in our couch session....get your popcorn and cola ready!
BV Mizz Majesty
''So, I've been dating my better half for sometime now and things just went downhill financially for him at a certain point and being that I work and earn a decent income, I always "offer" to give him money when he's in dire need.
My boyfriend absolutely hates this...It drives him crazy whenever I give him money to help him out.
Sometimes it even results in a minor quarrel when he refuses to accept the money. I know he has a bright future but things are just rough for him now. How does he expect me to sit there and just fold my hands while he suffers due to financial disturbances here and there.
He never asks me for money but I just give him because I just want to help him out with little money here and there to sort himself out whenever he has an issue...at least till things get better...I know it will. He always complains that I'm stripping him of his masculinity...
I have a good job and I'm a woman of very few needs as I live a very simple life so I have cash to spare and what's wrong in helping him out? We are friends afterall and friends help each other out. Isn't that what love is all about?
Even while growing up, my mother would warn us not to give guys money that they in turn would look for girls to provide for with the money and that nature has made a man to be a provider.
As an adult today I dont think twice if my man needs money and I have it.
Has any of you been in this kind of situation before? That stubborn boyfriend of mine never asks me for a dime and it pains me that I'm meant to be his first point of call when trouble comes. He knows I have the money but he never asks and he'll just be there suffering in silence and looking for other people that can help him out. Anytime I bring it up he will say I'm not letting him be a man and he's meant to be the one doing things for me...Isn't this pride?
Meanwhile I know "without a doubt" that he will do the same for me if tables were turned, so what seems to be the problem? Why do we Africans emphasise so much on gender roles?
*Giving is Okay if you are not going to expect that he must Marry yo because you invested time and money on his head..Giving is also Okay if you are giving with the heart of a child of the living God but then some broke axx brother turn it into a day job to collect from their mates and then become too lazy to pursue a career or look for a job.
I will only invest my money in a man who has a dream and knows how to wake up to pursue it.
Only if his future is bright n he isn't lazy then I can lend financial help: I can't be pouring water into a basket.
ReplyDeleteWell, as long as you aren't expecting anything in return.
DeleteSome people don't like to feel indebted to anyone. Same way some ladies will never collect money from a man they are dating. So that when she wants to move on she won't feel indebted. All relationships must not end in marriage. If the guy wakes up tomorrow to tell you he is no longer interested in the relationship am sure you will tell the whole world you invested in him. If he doesn't want your money just let him be.
DeleteMoney can NEVER give a man muscle. Rather the quest for money without the help of God kills a man.
DeleteYou are correct,slim shaddy
DeleteDepends on the person. There shouldn't be a defined rule. If he's a hustler and not stingy, no p, but if he's a lazy ass, better pretend and be drinking Garri with him o because he'll become Oliver twist and he'll even encourage the person to borrow.
DeleteSo it depends and ones head should be used and not heart.
I would have sworn I sent this in. Thank God this post came up and the advise so far has been helpful. Stella thanks
DeleteIt doesnt work having tried 4timrs they all end up humiliating me for no reason when I'm not even asking for marriage, for me, my destiny no fit dey help any partner again I lend my help to siblings & d needy arnd me. I'm not their destiny helper
DeleteWell, since MMM exists, your masculinity is Everly guaranteed. Join MMM today. Msg me on whatsapp 08140988050.
DeleteI can't even imagine borrowing money from anyone, girlfriend or wife and I don't loan money, I give.
DeleteThe only thing I want from my woman is to cook. That's it o!
Do you have the eyes to see the FUTURE?
DeleteMy dear, your guy is a REAL guy, others will collect without thinking much of it. They'll even make it a habit and have this sense of undue entitlement.
DeleteThere's nothing wrong with what u do, and there's nothing wrong with how he feels either. You should be happy that u have a strong willed principled guy whose ego will not allow his woman be the provider at all times.
However, if he's extremely helpless I'm sure he'll have no other choice than to ask you.
See eh, some men will rather die than ask any woman for money. Not even their own sister, much more Gf or wife. I think it's a good pride that should guide any man who doesn't want to lose his esteem or masculinity, as u call it.
Exactly. Give because u want to give not because u are expecting the relationship to lead to marriage.
ReplyDeletePls how do I get blog id?
ReplyDelete@Anon 14:05 CLICK HERE and follow the procedure
Delete#cheers
@MARTINS ABOY
I borrowed my so called fiance over N40m, I could have easily looked the other way when he was in dire need of cash. I just wanted to save him from shame and reproach. You won't believe that the goat still had ample time to cheat on me repeatedly. His own is like a curse, he can fuck anything... I have left him to self destruct. Community Penis oshi....
Delete@anonymous21:15 are you anonymous? It's because you're ashamed to tell the World the truth how you came about a whopping £40 million naira.
DeleteIf u give a man ur money and he later breaks ur heart....double suffer😩
ReplyDeleteThat is if u gave him because you wanted him to marry u. Every relationship must not end in marriage abeg.
DeleteYou know is only in Nigeria that spending in a relationship is only meant for the guy alone. It's suppose to be a two way things but under one condition if the guy is not the lazy type and happen to be so broke at that time and he is the struggling type then one can reciprocate giving under that condition in a relationship.
ReplyDelete*sideeyes @whitey.....
DeleteWhere is d "like" button? Well said
DeleteRelationship is all about helping each other at the point of need.
DeleteMy dear it is ur money do whatever u like with it.As for me,I can give/borrow my husband money when i feel he really need it but he has to pay back which he always does anyway.All man to what works for them.
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing I will not hear in this world.
ReplyDeleteNo, it's not being 'pride', but having 'respect' for himself. Self respect my dear, self respect.
DeleteNo, it's not 'pride', but having 'respect' for himself. Self respect my dear, self respect.
DeleteYou still alive? You didn't commit suicide? Dog killers
DeletePoster is he from Anambra? They don't let women spend on them, which is good. I feel your should stop worrying, at least you offered to help and he was the one who refused. Make sure he has the basic necessities. When visiting you can offer to cook for him or buy him gifts, as the hard working person that he is he will get back in no time.
ReplyDeleteNo harm in giving darling. It is blessed to give than to receive. A giver never lacks. That said you can help anyone so long as you don't expect anything in return. God blesses a cheerful giver and it does not neccessarrily have to come from the same person you help. Also like Stella said I hope you ain't doing the giving with the mind set of getting married to him. If it leads to marriage fine. If it does not lead to marriage all well and good. Just do as your heart directs.
ReplyDeleteOnye oghuite but his pride will not let him to accept your money. Why waste your money on a man that may likely leave you tomorrow? Pls PH with that money and reap better dividend biko.
ReplyDelete@ poster your man happens to be a decent man and a man with pride ,am not saying giving to your spouse is bad,bit just as what stella said,giving to a guy with a bright future and your heart tells you and you see it,that even if you don't give him money he can stand up as a man.and it is not everytime because there are some guys that do DAT on a daily basis ,looking for girls to dupe and extort money from.is good to give sometimes to your spouse but dnt make it an adult,just my opinion.
ReplyDeleteHabit I mean
DeleteWhy don't you let him be the man then...since he is always complaining and hates taking from you!
ReplyDeleteI'd advice you use that extra cash and start making good investments for the future! Cos nothing lasts forever
No but d woman will tell d whole world one day
ReplyDeleteTell the whole world. Maybe yes. But the guy must have done something to warrant that. They just can't behave well after. Using my self as an example, I hate to kiss and tell. But why did my exs(not one or two), served me insults when the relationship broke up. One even had the audacity to give me advice to continue starting from the scratch. Why won't a girl broadcast that?
DeleteI agree. Some women will not allow the guy any rest of mind simply because they've helped him financially.
DeleteAny small argument they'll remind him of how they "suffered and toiled" for him, bla bla. Or even if he as much as smiles to a female friend, they'll disgrace and finish him. Everything in that relationship afterwards will be tied to that money. I can't stand such women abeg
I totally get your mans perspective and the issue is sometimes a woman can rub it in your face after helping you or when you break up she starts singing about all she has done for you, so to avoid such a man has to behave.
ReplyDeleteAlso, how you offer help matters too. Next time tell him you want to borrow him so he oays back, that way he wont feel his masculinity is being stripped from him.
I get your own point though cos even with this mentality, if you guys marry its gonna be the same and its wrong. A woman is a helper and its okay to let her help you. What is not okay is letting the woman be the provider. Even if a woman has her own money, a man should take grrater responsibility. Even if the woman earns more, he should take care of the priorities.
Well said
DeleteExactly what I said up there. Na so
DeleteEven if I have,I'd rather he borrows and top it with mine. I too stingy for that side. Lmao. He knows better than to ask me. Which money do I even have that he would want to borrow from. #skipsawayhappily#
ReplyDeleteWhen God instituted marriage, he said the wife is to be an helper.
ReplyDeleteGiving your partner money from a sincere heart when he is in need of it simple means the woman is playing that role of helper which God has designated to her. so long as you are not trying to emasculate him.
So their is nothing absolutely wrong with partners switching roles occasionaly in relationship, thats how it works.
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I think he is pretending. ..to be angry when in his mine he has seen you as mugu babe's shine ur eyes hope ur not doing all this so that he will marry u??? Hummmm cuz u sound desperate.
ReplyDelete#buhari'sdriver
My exact thoughts! Better save your money. I mean do u do this for Everyman that you are in a relationship with? I can understand if he's your husband but he's clearly not and may never be. Don't let love make you a maga/Mugu. Years from now when he's cheating on u with another woman, he won't remember how u helped him back then
DeleteExactly what I had in mind!
DeleteBut he doesn't collect the money from her, so I don't quite agree that he's forming anger. Only if he collects all the time and still forms sha. Lol
DeleteNo need to waste my time reading this. Everything is wrong with it. Dont start what you cant finish.
ReplyDeleteNo need to waste my time reading this. Everything is wrong with it. Dont start what you cant finish.
ReplyDeleteWhat of after investing ur hard earned money on ur so called boyfriend and he betray u and marry another girl?
ReplyDeleteSo?
DeleteMust all relationships end in marriage?
No all relationships must not end in marriage that's why I don't attach much to any relationship
DeleteBeing in a committed relationship is even harder for a girl like me cause I don't give two fucks and I would follow you anyhow you want it.
If I say I love you, watch it boy and don't get too comfortable
Cause I might have loved someone like that or even more.
See how you just described me Chi
DeleteChi and Quicksilver it could be the reason U ladies are still single
DeleteDon't start what you cannot finish honey. Once you start, there's no going back. Men are funny like that.
ReplyDeleteThere is absolutely nothing wrong in helping YOU MAN when he is down financially once in a while, especially knowing that such gesture can be reciprocated if reverse were to be the case. There is however something wrong in continuously helping a man who is continuously financially down, and expects it as of right. . In your own case, we are all product of our experiences, the values and culture we have been reared in. If your guy derives his ego from his ability to provide, please don't push it. Give him moral support, encourage him, but don't push for financial support. In this generation, such men are rare, if he is not pretending.
ReplyDeletePoster it's bcoz of ladies like you that most men now think it's okay to laze around and feed off women. Lookatew. Crying to spend on a man, when he decides not to marry you, u start recounting what u spent. Why can't you let him struggle on his own and make it? Do u think your money will stop him from cheating on you?
ReplyDeleteI am sure your be is an igbo man hence the pride. If it were to be a Yoruba man, he would've cleared your account by now. They are demons like that.
I wish I can type. Some guys can irritately beg with their life. I met some guy weeks back and two weeks after he asked money for his dad that was sick,meanwhile this guy was asking me out on well I helped out because while he asking that moment I was using the ATM so I have money at hand that moment, I borrowed his after he said he will give me the upper week. Oh well he did and he borrowed another again. I lost feelings and just became ordinary friends with him, everytime we gisting and he's talking toward money or shit lol I just lock up change topic. It is really irritating to beg a girl all the time if u a guy on this platform and u do it please stop!!! Gush
ReplyDeleteLol .. this one na one chance. You'll lose the love sharply when a guy u like turns out to be a shameless beggy beggy. Asking you for money at the ATM. Lol
DeleteThere is nothing wrong in helping out when ur partner is facing a hard time as long as it doesn't take forever. Since u have a good job and savings, why not give him a reasonable amount to start up a business since u believe he has a bright future.
ReplyDeleteCommitted relationship or not I will help if I can.
ReplyDeleteThink the issue here is trust. If you as a woman has been in courtship with a man; learning from each other and about each other and not sex, sex, sex, you'd know the answer to this question.
ReplyDeleteI got a job before my then fiance and we were in courtship for more than 2 years. I paid for almost everything. In a restaurants, I give him the money to pay for us. I never despised him because he hadn't a job then. There was/is mutual respect and trust there. He was able to pay for my bride price and that meant he married me. We never had sex before this "bride price ceremony". Every other thing; wedding ceremonies, my wedding gown, the hall, was paid by "me". "Me" in quote because we had begun to combine finances; joint account with either to sign, joint investments etc. We've been together for about a decade and very happy. I do not wish for any other.
Really, if you love someone, you should respect and sacrifice for them. The problem is that girls go into relationships that are purely a sexual expedition and not a character learning process. Above all, keep Christ first.
This poster is an asshole!,..
ReplyDeleteYes an Ike nsi!...
Imagine the nonsense you wrote up here!...
May God never give me a daughter like you!...
How can you give your hard earned money to a man?...
Mumu!,..
How many have you given to your parents that suffered to raise you?...
I'm sure your mom is somewhere struggling to buy that lace material or jewelleries that she has been eyeing!...
What car is she driving?...
How many poor people around you have you helped since you started that your job?,..
I'm sure there is none!,..
But you won't think twice giving a full grown man money just because he fucks your dirty pussy!...
Tueh!...
I'm sure you are from that part of Nigeria that starts with W!..
Cos my igbo sisters don't behave like this...
Queen u never dissappiont...
DeleteLinda have vex ,linda leave her let her be calling boy friend better half:bia madam if you dont have need for money buy shoki and send it here lots of people will pray open heavens for you .last warning stop it now before the thunder with three shades of aso ebi will come for you
DeleteInukwam inye nwoke ego! Hian. I have parents, siblings, my grandma, my aunties and cousins, I won't give a man. I won't give my hubby, I can buy stuff for d house ( that's when the spirit befalls be) but not to give my hubby. I give my parents in-law and nieces and nephews, but not him. He works too hard for me to support.
DeleteShe called her bf my better half. Kwakakwakwakwa
DeleteThere is absolutely nothing wrong in helping YOUR MAN when he is down financially once in a while, especially knowing that such gesture can be reciprocated if reverse were to be the case. There is however something wrong in continuously helping a man who is continuously financially down, and expects it as of right. . In your own case, we are all product of our experiences, the values and culture we have been reared in. If your guy derives his ego from his ability to provide, please don't push it. Give him moral support, encourage him, but don't push for financial support. In this generation, such men are rare, if he is not pretending.
ReplyDeleteCorrect. You got it
DeleteIf he is ready to marry you and there is commitment, give him
ReplyDeleteThere is absolutely nothing wrong in helping YOUR MAN when he is down financially once in a while, especially knowing that such gesture can be reciprocated if reverse were to be the case. There is however something wrong in continuously helping a man who is continuously financially down, and expects it as of right. . In your own case, we are all product of our experiences, the values and culture we have been reared in. If your guy derives his ego from his ability to provide, please don't push it. Give him moral support, encourage him, but don't push for financial support. In this generation, such men are rare, if he is not pretending.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, hope your parents and siblings are not starving while you are financially responsible for a grown ass bruva? Let him get his acts together and find something doing fast, even if it's security job. Don't turn him to a gigolo. Na so e dey start
ReplyDeleteA man who wants to be "in control" even in financial issues will always want to be in control in all aspects.
ReplyDeleteMy advice, DO NOT financially help a guy who is not your fiancé nor husband.
ReplyDeleteI was once like you, until one idiot taught me a huge lesson, I will never ever forget.
....
ReplyDeleteWow he is a good man and I pray things gets better for him
ReplyDeleteHe might be right though cos my Hubby of 13yrs wit 4 kids never likes collecting money from me
ReplyDeleteWhen I collect salary@ d end of d month and say Honey this is my ATM,he says OK and that's DAT.
So wat I do,I use d money fo my kids,household and personal stuff.
I Love You Honey, if there is indeed recantation, I'd still want 2 marry u again
Ohhhhhhh well
ReplyDeleteI've never found myself in such a situation before
But para venture it happens
I Can part with my money cos we're friends
Because he needs the money with him knowing fully well, that it's because of God
And me doing that should not make him lazy or dependent on me as well
I'm Only doing him a favor
As it's not an obligation
Poster, l have grown to see that your mum is right. She couldn't have said it better. But several times l have been drawn to give my date money due to lack or support. Even till date I support my best friend (he's male) if need be. While I do not regret giving any of my ex's money, I learnt it brings about complications (ego issues,self esteem, unhappiness, and laziness from the guy) because he feels disrespected. Even when l meant well. Because of this experience, I am very weary of giving a bf cash. If I create that foundation, l know the relationship will head for the rocks. So instead l leave him to do what he can. And in times of down, I can offer to split bills. You know, I have 2gfs that can never use their money(they don't even have) to do something for their serious date then (now husband), they will rather give encouraging words of advice and prayers to their man and it has WORKED for them! They both seem to know the right words to say, tell their man what to do and stick by him. While me that gave, was battling in my relationships. Lol. I hope BV Ralph is reading this (a relationship hardly works out when the lady gives) Why do you think Linda Ikeji wouldn't just settle for any man? If a lady feels justified in helping out her man, she should go ahead but expecting that the giving or building or starting from the "scratch" will lead to marriage will only lead to heartbreak and disappointments.
ReplyDeleteYou were making real sense until you brought up Linda Ikeji. Settle for anyman? So funny. You ladies can be funny. You think because you have money everyman wants you? To begin with, Linda is old! Her real age is around 40. I can't marry a woman that's more than 30. Secondly, I can't even be with a woman that's richer than I am. Thirdly, real men don't take money from women because nothing free comes from a woman. She will always hold it against you- someday. And yes, I be Igbo boy! We are proud.
DeleteI only borrow my boyfriend money. Giving as in dash na no go area for me. Even while we have done introduction.I can't stay what i know that i won't finish abeg.
ReplyDeleteYou lied that he does not collect when you offer him your money so we won't call him names!...
ReplyDeleteSee how you a shelding a man that has not paid your bride price...
Ewu goat!...
Linda ozugo. This matter really pain you o
DeleteHe is a man. That is what makes a man. The problem you have highlighted is with the taking. Not with the giving. Let him be himself. He doesnt like taking from women. Thats a real man who was brought up to be a man. I wish my husband was like that. But he is not. He will take and ask me to even borrow from my siblings. No sense of masculine pride at all. You are lucky having such a man. Let him be himself abeg. Allow him to be a man. I pray my sons turn out to be like that. Not like their dad...( long hiss)...
DeleteU should be happy that he knows his role as a man. If he doesn't want, keep your money. And if u must give, give without expectations and there should be no reminder in future of how u helped him.
ReplyDeleteI hope there won't be a chronicle later sha,cos giving I only gud wen d going is gud,
ReplyDeleteGiving to a man in a relationship(money) is totally wrong. You should even be proud you have a man who knows that and is turning down the offer. Some gold diggers would take advantage of the situation and milk you dry. No woman has ever given to a man she isn't married to and not regret it, even some who has supported in marriage when he is down, have sorry tales to tell. He is not your brother or a friend, he is not your responsibility. It's ok to buy him gifts and supplies for the house and cook with your own money, but giving him money is out of it.
ReplyDeleteYour mom is right about nature and men.
The way you keep shoving that ur money in his face this guy will leave u,not every man is a fuck boy,please stop offering if he gets upset by it, go and do sth else with ur money
ReplyDeleteTomorrow now you will use it to sing or even suggest paying ur bride price by urself. Abeg, leave him to hustle by himself and stop forming rich girl.
ReplyDeleteEdo men like being kept!if u like giving a man money just marry an edo man.they like women who give them money especially men from auchi/estako/okpella.#cheapskates
ReplyDeleteMy fiancÄ› is from Ekpoma and I'm igbo. The first time I agreed to date him i just showed him this quote, " once an igbo babe agrees to date you, you are automatically owing her money", he said that's the way it should be. The guy dey drop well and I am from a well to do family with my own well paying job o. It's all about the person dear
DeleteI agree anon 15:03.see Mercy Johnson and her husband!see as he's fat because of her money.he even abandoned his two kids because of free food.choi hunger in naija has made men heartless.the day mercy goes broke u will start hearing things like she's cheating on me,shes not submissive etc.to an edo man u are only as submissive as ur paycheck is to him.cheapskates indeep.tuweh!
DeleteThere's absolutely nothing wrong with you helping a partner out. It all depends on a man's ego to accept or reject such gesture. My then fiancée helped me with a start up but today things has turned around, I just bought her first car celebrate our 8 wedding anniversary.
ReplyDeleteIf he was supportive n was equally taking care of your needs when he was financially OK... Then, is okay to support n give him when the need arises.
ReplyDeleteDon't over do it or make him comfortable taking money from... He also needs to sit up n pick himself up.
The fall of a man is not the end of his life. 🙌
If he was supportive n was equally taking care of your needs when he was financially OK... Then, is okay to support n give him when the need arises.
ReplyDeleteDon't over do it or make him comfortable taking money from u... He also needs to sit up n pick himself up.
The fall of a man is not the end of his life. 🙌
I see nothing wrong with helping your man out financially. You can collect his account number and quietly pay money into his account .
ReplyDeleteChukwu aju!!! O people should stop making Nigerian men lazy
Delete@miss truth did u just write that?
DeleteI hope if he dumps you, you won't say "after all you did for him". There's absolutely nothing wrong with giving If you're not expecting something in return, like Stella said.
ReplyDeleteAbeg I don't have time to give any nigga my money, this is d same thing happening to my younger sister in Abuja, I asked y d guy can't do little business, she say she don talk tiya,, say na white collar job he dey find, this is someone who doesn't want to try little things except it's an office job, this is someone my sister wants to buy a car for to even try nd do taxi, he say he no want, I told mydister I don't like d idea of giving him a car for taxi but she said d car is still hers and they would split d profits, which I said it's fine but make she find someone else abeg, but she say no man for Abuja o nd people see Abuja girls as runs girls.. with my experiences, I can't give a boyfriend any money except it's d one I see as a gift that I will not moan about
ReplyDeleteYour sister in Abuja is stupid with a capital S. She has brought herself so low as to imagine that she can make do with anything in trousers simply because girls are seen as runs girls in Abuja? If that guy marries her, she will regret that marriage. She already has the red lights now and shes refusing to heed them. I tire for this generation of young girls oh.
DeleteSorry I don't give men money
ReplyDeleteI can cook with my money or do some other minor things, but giving you my money is out of it
Never done it before
Not doing it ever.
Why would u cook with your money for him.
DeleteChi I promise you'll do it 4 me not bc I'll request or need it but simply bc you'll agree against every grain in your body that you really care. I know it sounds like NEVER but you'll not be the first.
Delete@ La'cream, Lmao
DeleteI would cook and eat half of the pot and serve him the remaining
Like seriously girls should stop doing wifey shit for fuckboys
Don't give him your mulla.
Some men are wicked and ain't worth it.
Hahaha... @chi u know what's up jare
DeleteAnon16.51!!!!! Make una come see the typical "Yoruba demon-fuck boy" here...
DeleteSee them jazz-men everywhere.
Give ur husband not ur bf
ReplyDeleteBorrow your husband not give.
DeleteU just spoke my mind. Naughty Linda
ReplyDelete#The only real failure is not trying at all*
ReplyDeleteMy own is, why would you have to pressure him to take your money? Na you get money and if he really is in need of your help he will ask if he doesn't then allow him hustle his way out.
ReplyDeleteSorry, i don't believe in giving boyfriend money. Supporting a man you're married to when he is in a difficult financial situation is accepted by me.
ReplyDeleteI go with Stella on this, especially if it's my husband. But some guys are not worth it...
ReplyDeleteSister better respect yourself and stay one place. Is like you haven't experienced guys before. Just continue to form oyibo until you enter one chance to Ghana. Since he wants to be a man allow him be a man na! You are yet to understand Nija Men na why I dey laugh. Babes with good experience will give elaborate talk on this.
ReplyDeleteNija men will be forming I don't want, I don't collect money from women, I'm not in the habit of taking money/asking women for money all na wash. Just to keep their ego and wait for you to persist and boom! Jackpot!!. They will start using psychology on you until they drain your pocket and in the process, they will be spending your money on their Otepu (lovers).
Friend no friend, better don't give boyfriends your money. Same goes to marriage. You can contribute once in big blue moon not assuming the man's responsibilities oh! else, OYO is your case. You will just become mummy and daddy at the same time while the other women will be enjoying his money.
Borrow yourself sense I don tell you.
Notin wrong in helpin ur partner in time of need.
ReplyDeleteOf course nt everytime.some feel its their right n take it for granted.i help witout expecting notin in return.
@jennyzee hehehehe no husband for Abuja o truly, they believe all girls here are into runs so u go dey here clock 40 nothing for you, very pretty girls I tell u. The ones wey dey marry dey take care of the man and home cos if he had money in the first place, he would have gone down to his state to pick a girl. So ur sister is right. lol
ReplyDeleteLmao nawa d matter serious be that, make ona relocate go Lagos lol
DeleteMake dem no cum lagos ooo, lagos is saturated Wv single girls looking for hubby....lolz
DeleteIt's all depending on the kinda relationship you both have. I don't see anything bad with it if he doesn't take it for granted. He spends on me, so why can't i help out when he's down?
ReplyDeleteI can borrow my husband money and he will settle me back when he has gotten it
ReplyDeleteSome guys can be annoying
ReplyDeleteGiving isn't bad at all, na been dey take care of my house wen hubby and i were dating. But he will always pay me back when he has
ReplyDeleteHow come men dont borrow their wives money, Na dash,,,, bt women will want to borrow their husband. Gender equality comes to play only when it favors women. If u agree that there is equality in the relationship den women shud give to men as much as we give to dem. Men av been training and taking care of women since time immemorial, just coz u do it once we won't hear word, selfish and stingy creatures. Men go die b4 una know say we don try.
ReplyDeleteGuy, we don wise up. Na why we dey date them, study them and make sure say them get better job before proposing. I no go carry everything for head. You sey craze. I go die because I marry? Wicked and stingy girls. Una wan chop our money but una no wan bring out una own. Una all dey craze. Make everybody chop him own. Ndi ara
DeleteMen are the reason why women have become stingy. Most women by nature are givers but most men have become lazy. I have been married for about a decade now and got my first job after marriage. I was a corper when I hot married so my hubby and parents took care of the event. After I started earning well I supported my hubby and I am still supporting him. I do not borrow him money when I know he cannot pay but will give whatever I have. We have built a solid home together but to avoid looking back with regret I keep personal money for my self. Why should I feel the need for this? Cos men are known to do the worst when you least expect it. I have prayed and hope for the best but even at that my head not heart says have something for the rainy day....men need to talk to themselves...most wife do not have 100% trust in their men which is really sad. I rest my case
DeleteI can lend a guy money but my experience with lending guys money haven't been good so far, that was how one Emeka Obama refused to pay me back my money. After I gave him the money in good faith even as I had refused to date him o, I gave him the money as a friend (he was married, so I thought all was forgotten) now, if I ask for my money, he'll say, so it's because of 40k that you are calling me. Chai, I don suffer, still thinking of how to get money, thinking of calling his wife
ReplyDeleteWrong start... he is not likely to marry u wen things get better. He llprobably look for a richet
ReplyDeletedont start what u wont see finish
Poster... I'll advise you stop offering to give him money, you know he already knows you are ready to assist. Just encourage him with words and prayers. He'll ask for help when he's ready.
ReplyDeleteInstead of dis poster to go and gv her money to orphanages or widows,she de carry am gv guy wey de run format for her head!i can bet my last blood dat dat her guy wld not marry her!he has seen a potential ATM and monumental mumu!keep givn him ur money u hear?i jst de shame for ur mumurity! #AMY#
ReplyDeleteInstead of dis poster to go and gv her money to orphanages or widows,she de carry am gv guy wey de run format for her head!i can bet my last blood dat dat her guy wld not marry her!he has seen a potential ATM and monumental mumu!keep givn him ur money u hear?i jst de shame for ur mumurity! #AMY#
ReplyDeleteDated my boo from uni and i would sneak money in his pocket, or leave it in his room, would also do food stuff . fortunately this phase did not last too long. We had issues at some point cos i wanted to be sure he did not feel obligated to marry me cos i stood by him in Owu days and told him as much, whatever i sacrificed or did was cos i loved and believed in him not to buy him to marry me.
ReplyDeleteYou should be happy you have a man who knows it is his duty to provide for his lady and would rather starve than ask for financial help from you.
ReplyDeleteMy darling, you must realise that men are wired differently, so trying to analyse the typical male from a typical female standpoint would certainly be counterproductive. I know it's hard to see someone you love suffer when you can conveniently help out but you have to honour his wishes. If you keep disregarding his opinion on financial assistance, what you meant for good will blow up on your face and can even end the relationship, which will be very unfortunate. Since he feels emasculated if you want to help out financially, why not do something less obvious like buying him stuff instead of giving him cash? You can take care of other things he would have bought with his money. That way, he can use the little cash he has for more pressing issues. Make sure it appears harmless, don't let him know this is what you choose to do since he refuses to ask for your financial assistance.
However, be mindful of the fact that certain things you do during courtship would set the pace of certain things after marriage. I'm assuming that's the goal of this relationship, no? Another pertinent point to always have at the back of your mind is, a man whom you've supported and done things for as investments, owes you nothing. He can turn around and marry a lady who doesn't even give him a pin. There are no guaranties in life. I hope your benevolence isn't to show him that you are a wife material, though? Because you can't buy love even with devolution and loyalty, let alone money.
Whatever you do for him should be done at your own "peril", for lack of a better word. Before you render any assistance, ask yourself "if I do this for him and he ends the relationship tomorrow, would I regret this help I'm about rendering? " If your honest answer is "yes", don't do it but if it is "no" then go ahead.
Personally, I will have more respect for a man who would rather ask for financial help from his male friends than from his rich girlfriend.
You do well...clap for yourself...CBN governor
ReplyDeleteI believe a woman should help out in the home if she has the financial means. I also believe the man has the primary responsibility for the family and the woman's role is that of a helper when it is required. The roles when reversed always breed problems as it is against nature. The man must never become slothful or shack his responsibilities because he knows his wife is capable. It is wrong and the woman loses her respect for such man. I have noticed that whenever the woman is willing to give the man changes and begin to expect it as a right....these are the reason why most homes have issues...more often than not the woman becomes automatic breadwinner after the marriage. As most men only take care of basics e.g. house rent and school fees which is next to nothing while the woman bears the rest e.g food, clothing, birthday celebrations and every other spending which is now very expensive. Men must remain men and head of the home. Do not share your responsibility with your wife except you cannot afford it. This is my opinion and no one should bother replying as we are free to have divergent views
ReplyDeleteHow many times av women broken a man's Heart despite the man financing d lady's education? For all dos wu believe a woman should not give to the man nd yet support gender equality *i Hail o* equality ko, equaliser ni
ReplyDeleteSelfish women everywhere. Like guys haven't been sponsoring women abroad for education only to be dumped at the altar. How many women here can swear that they aren't chopping one guy mugu at this very moment?
ReplyDeleteDon't bring your selfishness into this issue. Of course they're bad eggs in both sexes but giving is one of the most pivotal way of showing love. I would NEVER marry a woman who will think twice before helping me out when I need it. Cuz relationship is a partnership.
Stella, your gender equality campaign will remain a failure in Nigeria until you and other women make it all inclusive.
I can cook with my money once in a while, buy him stuffs but I can't dash him any money that is more than 5k. Shikena
ReplyDelete