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Friday, October 28, 2016
Labour Room Drama - 88
LOL
Stella sweet heart, chop knuckle joor, idi too much. I practically sleep and wake in this blog, lekwam lele addiction! Stella idi egwu.
I can see our labour room drama is empty so I say make I kukuma send my own so the ministry go de go on.
My first pregnancy I will dish out now because that is where drama go park,second one I kukuma go collect date and carry my baby jeejee de go house maka ike drama adirom at all.
The preg from the beginning to the end was very splendid,no sickness at all. EDD was to be Jan ending 2013 so 2012 Xmas we commot go dance kerewa and rock the day without knowing my chairman don park his load finish de wait for his kerewa mama to settle him make he commot join for the enjoyment. 26th dec early morning,i woke up and wanted to ease myself come see water everywhere,from bed straight to rest room the thing de flow like river Niger. The water is not like show at all,just ordinary water. Till 9am same thing I call DH he said make I kukuma go see doctor.
I called my Doc he said I shouldn't drive oo make person bring me come. See me see person wey go bring me come on 26th dec wey all man don travel and DH not around. I jump into my Keke napep begin drive de go joor. When I got there they did scan date come shift even forward and water wey de with baby inside still plenty. Na so ur sister ask so where all dis ocean de come from??? Doc said he suspects early labour,i should go and get my things. Na so I go house go begin sleep say this Doc wan chop my money like that which one be labour when time never reach.
Stella nwannem na so DH called and begin de halla say b4 he close eyes and open say make the person wey go de that hospital be me bcos he sabi me well well that I won't go. In the evening I reluctantly carry bag put for car and SIL joined me. I was admitted, in my mind I said this man get money to dash this Doc if not why should I be here. Na so by mid night come see shege shege, the thing begin as if I wan poo, I go stand I go seat no way. I told nurses say something de do me ooo,they say anyone wey wan start them de. Na so the thing continued till early morning, by then fever don join am. By 7am my gyna show, put that his big hand inside my vijayjay come see more fire. To my greatest surprise this man talk say na 2cm. Na so I shout 2 wetin? For all this pains??? And am allergic to pains from day one. Na so I tell my doc make he begin call Anastasia doctor fast fast bcos as the thing be if it reach 5cm I fit remove wrapper tear race run to the road ooo.
Doc say make I pray say we go fit get anyone available as that was festive period. I told him he is joking bcos I told him from day one that I will need it,i don save the 30k for months without telling DH even if person de die I no go bring am out lie lie. Luckily for me, he got one and b4 u can say jack he was already in my room. To relax for the epidural injection na another drama but finally I was given the shot. Nnem b4 u can say jack robinson the whole pains disappeared. Oh lalala,,,i didn't know when I shouted 'oyibo bu agbara ooo' meaning this white ppl chop witch ooo.
Lol abeg don't blame me na ejiro afufu akwa coat (they no de sew coat with suffer head) the only thing that I used to know I was in labour was my tummy was going up and down. Na then I begin ask for the food SIL brought for me in the morning but they said I shouldn't eat again. I pick phone begin call DH bcos before then he was calling every second and I gave him serious warning make he no try call my line again. After many hours ooo, doc came put hand and said the labour is not progressing that they should prepare theatre immediately that baby was in distress. I started crying asking him why didn't he do it since than allow me pass through the pains last night and all these nurse eliza (quack nurse) that has been putting their hand in my sacred chamber since without knowing that my baby was dying. To cut the long story, not up to 5mins we entered theatre my chairman was out but I was surprised that I wasn't hearing baby cry rather I was hearing something that was making noise without knowing it was oxygen they were using to resuscitate my baby while other doctors was busy stitching.
To the glory of God I was calm thinking what could be happening unlike me,normal me will start shouting immediately asking for my baby. My BP come high ooo, upto 20mins no baby cry, if you look for me in the land of the spirit you will find me. But this God that form human being with just blood, this God that gave a man a beautiful woman and multiplies her, this God that has declared that none shall be barren,
this God that said I can't suffer in vain gave breath to my handsome dude, daddy's senior special assistant oh my God, am short of words. He started crying and all through that night his cry was like blues to my ears. I was so strong that I drove home after 3days.
Stella here is my cute Bobos pix for ur eyes only. So second one I don't want stories, i had previa that later normalized but I didn't mind, dh said make I go collect date and carry my baby in peace. Na so I just kukuma go do am and carry my second cute dude de go home peacefully. All those waiting on God,plz don't give up. Hold Him by his words that none shall be barren in the land and continue giving him wahala through prayers,soonest I will read all your LRD in Jesus name amen.
Stella darlying abeg chop kiss again
lol
55 comments:
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Chai!!!
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
Reading ds was tough my goodness! Had to stop half way. U dint just stick wt pidgin u had to type dialect too??? C'mon girl! All d best to you and your family pls!
DeleteLovely story and thank God your baby survived. Your word construction though, had a hard time reading, took me longer than usual to finish because of your plenty pigin. Pigin is funny and interesting when speaking directly or used in short sentences
DeleteHahahaha,funny narrative.
DeleteLol@if you look fo me in the land of t spirit.
God bless your children.
People will always complain. I over understood all that she wrote. What pidgin are u ppl complaining about? Poster no mind them biko
DeleteAnastasia Beverly Hills ni.
ReplyDeletePlease speak English, pidgin is sweet to listen to, not sweet to read. You have stressed my brain and I only read it half way.
Don't mind her, she was trying hard to be funny! But that pidgin was stressful and difficult to comprehend, afi anastasia na! Lmao...
DeleteI'm happy for you that your labor ended in praise but seriously, your narration annoyed the HECK out of me. "Anastasia"? Really?? Hmmm!
ReplyDeleteThis was a very very difficult read. Didn't say anything at first before people will say I am being a snob. I am happy i am not the only one that felt that way. Congrats tho.
DeleteStill don't understand d reason for most women fear of cs tho,some would rather die than have a cs,I wonder in shock when I hear of some stories.
ReplyDeleteLol
ReplyDeleteSee as you pick second date asap without waiting for labour. i like you jare.
ReplyDeleteIf ladies born with CS, them go dey carry belle every year sef. the recovery process is seamless. no time for contraction pains
Aww I loved your story and the humor in it...see as I was just smiling throughout.
ReplyDeleteMay God bless your home.
😂😂😂😂😂 now I no the meaning of "nurse eliza "
ReplyDeletebeautiful story...
ReplyDeleteHissssssssssss...so difficult to read
ReplyDeleteWooooooooow
ReplyDeletePraise God o
Pidgin toomuch
ReplyDeleteI have headache already.
You be craze aswe!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHahaha..
This God is just so amazing. Thank God your baby is okay.
ReplyDeleteGod has been so faithful to me, i have gone through this journey twice and He granted victory in all. I am forever grateful
Praise God...
DeleteMadam thank God for u oooo.God is indeed wonderful!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed this.
ReplyDeleteInteresting LRD, God will continue to look after your family. Pls next time try to limit the igbo words it's not funny trying to pronounce them for us d non igbo speaking bvs.
ReplyDeleteLol funny woman and I love your tori cos the Grammer there na correct one..oh ya chop knuckles.thank God oo..missylynn
ReplyDeleteDrama queen, I love your story
ReplyDeleteFor the 1st time very dry lrd. Be there forming yeye sense of humour wey u no get.
ReplyDeleteQuite unintelligent writing, very stressful to read. Perhaps write in plain English next time.
ReplyDeleteAmen I claim that.
ReplyDeleteCongrats
Amen I claim that.
ReplyDeleteCongrats
Na this one we dey call drama. Lol
ReplyDeleteVery funny. Thank God for you and your baby.
ReplyDeleteI thought i was the only ine who found the pidgin annoying.In a bid to sound funny and interesting you ended up sounding annoying lol. Thank God for safe delivery though,God bless your home
ReplyDeleteI luv ur story ma, was smiling reading it, funny u.
ReplyDeleteLol.... funny lady.
ReplyDeleteBae ur story was sweet.I am not an igbo girl 👧 but I understood everything.coz my former room mate was an igbo.she tot me.so girls stop ✋ the pretence.and let her be.make headache worry uns well well.mtchww
ReplyDeleteSay it out loud
DeleteMake headache kill Chi exotic huh?
Issokay.
It is not by force to write in pidgin o....your write up almost scatter my head,i read it only halfway.But congrats ma'am
ReplyDeleteLol, madam you funny no b small, but, I like how the story ends, thank God for his Mercies. God bless you and your family.
ReplyDeleteNice one, labour pain no easy, u are even lucky epidural was 30k then, now it's 120k.
ReplyDeleteFunny narrative. . .congrats madam
ReplyDeleteMy take, your reaction to this post determines how serious you take life. If her pidgin was annoying then you need to liven up a bit. I am not igbo but I enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteThank God, but next time you are sharing a story for people to read try to type in English not pidgin we were all thought to read and write in English.....I loosed interest in reading your story along the line.
ReplyDeleteSee? U also made a mistake! Its "taught"
DeleteThank God, but next time you are sharing a story for people to read try to type in English not pidgin we were all thought to read and write in English.....I loosed interest in reading your story along the line.
ReplyDeleteDon't mind them... I enjoyed you LRD.
ReplyDeleteThanks God for you son. I have already informed Boo, I for one will be having CS on all my kids... no energy for labor please. Life is already tough.
A very painful read.
ReplyDeleteYour story funny die madam, but thank God the giver of life
ReplyDeleteMy dear your story sweet joor. I was smiling all thru. Thank God for you. cant wait to share mine.
ReplyDeleteYour style of narrative though.
ReplyDeleteI liked the ending but narrative isn't your thing mehn not to talk of writing pidgin... Congratulations to you.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed this. Was smilling all through.God bless your home
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the story,congrats mam.
ReplyDeleteWowwwwwwww...
ReplyDeleteThis was so funny. I enjoyed readying especially the pidgin. You are a good story teller. I have delivered a lot of babies, so it's been fun reading from the patients perspective, especially the naija experience.
ReplyDelete