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Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Labour Room Drama -85

Hehehehehehhehehe




Hi Madam Stellz,

How's family? 

I was the 1 that sent the 1st Omugwo chronicle, so pls permit me to share my LRD epistle.

I registered in a very good hospital (those in Ajah axis Lagos should drop comments let me recommend my hospital to you). I joined baby center online group, read other women's comments and learnt from them. I read Supernatural childbirth back to back and declared Isaiah 66 vs 7-8.

We were taught various exercises we can Engage in, how to manage labour pains and ‎how to push when the urge to poo comes. My hospital was that good. We practiced all these during each clinic days.

My last scan gave me the D day my baby was going to come and I claimed it. Claimed it because it happened to be my favourite brother's birth date‎.

‎My last few weeks was the fuel scarcity period early this year, omo I made optimal use of it.‎ I would carry the car and fill it with jerry cans (who go see Belle no sell fuel for me now). I worked till my last day being a Thursday. There was public holiday by weekend so the weekend was long.

The last day of the public holiday, hubby woke up around 4am to do some work, I woke up to ease my self too. I was already tired of being pregnant, so I initiated sex. Don't blame me I already read that sex induces labour. Oya now let's try it.‎ We had sex and afterward I had my bath and settled to do some office work. We kept on gisting oooo until I just felt the urge to weewee. Immediately I got to the toilet, I saw the show right there on my panties. Omo I just screamed and shouted "Ife, baby is coming o). My husband just carried me and say eeeeeeee finally ooo.

Now before that hubby and I had said we won't call anyone when labour starts. That will just call them to tell them that our boy is here. But I have a sis of mine that both of us are 5 and 6. And that morning she just kept on asking me if I haven't seen sign. As a monitoring spirit that she is.(lol)‎. So I told her that have seen show and she said she will pray along with me.

I went to my work after the jubilation because at that point I knew I had to finish the report and send it out. I ate and I later slept off. Woke to see my husband keeping vigil. I just laughed. He said No pains and I said Nah.

Later in the afternoon, his sister invited us to the club and I gladly took the offer. I did a very heavy makeup, told him to drop my delivery box in the car and we set out. When we got to the club, I ordered for rice and stew with Chapman. I ate it all. Went to their rest rooma and changed my pantyliner (still no pains o).

Around 6pm, his sister asked me to see her off to the pool side, on our way I told her I have seen show and no pain. Being a fearfear person, she asked us to start going to the hospital. Then I decided to call my mum and she too advised that we should go to the hospital.

I was feeling ‎contractions, it wasn't just coming with pains.  You know have been reading Supernatural childbirth and praying in that line so I was seeing it like and answered prayer.

We got to the hospital around to 8pm, that was close to 12hours after I saw show. The CMD checked my tummy and said I was contracting already that I should be given a bed. Told him No that I don't want to labour in the hospital. He said Ok wait let's check you 1st and see how far you ve gone.

It happened that I was already 2cm dilated and my baby had fully crowned. So we were advised to stay and I was given a room (self contain things‎ #shines teeth).

Hubby and I decided to pray. While praying my phones kept on ringing and so after prayers my husband started shouting that why can't I just keep to our agreement. I ‎just started crying cos I was already overwhelmed with the whole thing. He apologized for the outburst, collected my phones and switched off the data and mobile networks. The MD said I should take a stroll round the premises but we decided to do outside strolling. We worked a very long distance and we kept on praying on our way. When we got back to the room, my sunshine just slept off totally and I was just there sitting down on the chair watching Zeeworld.

The doctor came to check me around to 2am said I was 4cm already .He asked me any pain and I still said No. He said before 12noon you should‎ be delivered. I just dey look. The MD later asked the nurse to come and give me an injection around 3am.

My dear BVs, if I had known I wa‎s being induced, I for don make scene. Around to 4am, the muscle contractions started in a big way (I refuse to call it pain because it is what you say it is). I will just hold on to the bed cos I have vowed not to shout or cry.

The contractions started coming 7mins apart. Ah, it was out of this world. I did breathing exercise, I held on to the bed, I knelt down, I laid on the bed, held on to the nurses whenever they came to check me, slept on the floor and yet I wasn't just getting a good position.‎ It was my heavy breathing that woke my husband up. And trust my prayerman, he just started praying again and speaking in tongues. At a point I tried holding his leg and the guy thought I wanted to hold his third leg and he shouted "No baby, noooo. I bursted into hot teary laughs.

 I said I can't do that cos am not done yet. Am still going to do this again.

Then the doctor can back to check me around 7:30am and he met me on the floor. Na so the guy fa were loyan (he looked for my trouble). He asked me why I was lying on the floor. "Madam what's the meaning of all these, why are you lying on the floor now?

My people na so I spark - "What do you mean, you don't talk to me like that. I can decide to stay anywhere so far am Ok with it. That am in labour doesn't mean am not with my senses.

Na so hubby sef put him own join

Hubby - why are you being rude to the doctor?
Me - what do you mean?
Hubby - apologize to‎ him now pls or I will leave this room.
Me - Run, shebi have been watching you since. I can see you want to leave me to it Abi. Oya run now. Runnnn. I was clapping like a market woman ready for fight.

Doctor - Mr A.. pls don't go out. She's not the one talking.
Me - i'm the one talking o.
Doctor - it's OK madam. Pls lie down let's check you.

The checking part was very painful. He said 8cm dilated and he decided to break my water then as there was progress already.

The nurses asked my hubby to bring in the box so I can sort the delivery things.

7:50am, I felt the urge to poo and I told the nurse, she advised that I should keep doing the breathing exercise‎ and avoid pushing on my own. So she checked me again, lo and behold, my baby's head was already showing. She just shouted don't try to push o, where is your pad. Oya hold your pad and use it to block his head. Sister, are you set, even if you are not it's time o. She took me to the delivery and asked me to remove the robe.

 I was obeying all orders, I climbed the bed papapa. When the doc came he said pls put on your robe back. I begged him not to give me tear but he said no cos as a 1st timer he can't take risk. My hubby was busy scabashing all along. I pushed my baby out at exactly 8am after 3 pushes on my brother's birthday. 

Then ghenghen, my hubby just started crying...Thank you baby. I just started laughing. Oga so o ti e le. The Episotomy pain me sha but my oyinbo was worth it.

Stellz I no go send you pictures for your eyes only cos I know your eyes for don full due to the plenty you have been seeing alone but I love you scarra....


BV 3rd Mainland bridge *******



HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAH..very funny and interesting,For those who do not know,this BV is our famous 3rd mainland bridge sh*tter.hehehehehehe

Ehen,please what do you mean by the babys head had crowned?Crown to where?how....

70 comments:

  1. Ah ah, Stella na for midwife parlour you born? Even crowing you don't know...lmao
    Guys translate Crowning to Dutch for her pls.

    Such an interesting read.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like d fact DAT ur hubby is a prayerful person . God bless u both ...oh n d lil man

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    2. Thanks Stellz for posting. Thanks Everyone and Amen to all prayers... 3rd Mainland bridge sh*tter is a female o but sh*t no get senior and rich man sef no rich pass am

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    3. Thanks Stellz for posting. Thanks Everyone and Amen to all prayers... 3rd Mainland bridge sh*tter is a female o but sh*t no get senior and rich man sef no rich pass am

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    4. Abeg Stella Google is your friend.

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    5. Help me ask, Stella of life

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  2. Funny LRD.

    I like her faith and sense of humour.

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    Replies
    1. I like your family for being very prayerful. May your prayerlife continue to wax stronger. God bless your home.

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  3. Wow! Wonderful read
    Madam you write so well and i was just playing the scene in my head. I love how you guys prayed all through, that's the way it should be. God be praised!

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  4. Awwwwn i love your story. I bless God for you and your family, get ready for next trip lol

    Victoria's Heart

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  5. lol very interesting, always thought 3rd mainland bridge sh*tter was male.

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  6. hahahahahahah..I really enjoyed this LRD.
    Congrats for safe delivery. Your hubby sounds nice

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  7. Children are indeed special gifts from God.
    To those pregnant, you shall deliver safely in Jesus name - Amen.

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  8. I always thought that BV was a male. Thanks God for save delivery and prayers answerd.

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  9. very interesting story... hmmm...the thought of labour though.... it is well ooo... I be Hebrew woman..

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  10. lol I love your LRD jare...you wrote well

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  11. As a yoruba momma that you is nau...... So, your husband has 3legs huh? I am not understanding

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  12. Wow so so sweet, I just dey read dey fear , dey smile and laugh out loud, the story is so so real and I can relate.God bless you n your family poster.

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  13. I was just busy laffin....funny LRD. Thank God for safe delivery.

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  14. I was smiling all through the time I was reading this.God bless you poster,I can't wait to experience the joy of motherhood & I also wish to have a praying man as a husband.

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  15. This story makes me feel like giving birth now..... see as I dey shine teeth while reading it

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  16. #Enjoy everything, you might not get to experience it twice*

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  17. Interesting LRD, congrats.

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  18. This cracked me up...,,,,,,,lmao

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  19. Hahhahahahaha!!!

    This lady is is clown seriously.
    I enjoyed this you post ghan!!!

    Kwakwakwakwa kwa.. you are a handful.

    Stella you know why I love this segment so much?

    1) It is very educating. I learn new word everyday. Immediately I got to that "crowning " fian! I opened Google to upload.

    2) our mothers never told us labour is painful. Infact nobody ever shares their experience but here on SDK I read it free of charge.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Truth is I have no idea why. I remember when my sister had her first child, I was unmarried at the time. I asked her about the experience and she just said wait till you get married and pregnant.

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  20. enjoyed every bit of the story..lovely experience

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  21. Crowning means that the baby's head is visible I. e. showing.

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  22. I want to give birth ooo. LeBoo where art thou na? Ahn I'm tired of waiting for you o. Do quick and come asap

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  23. Very hilarious story. Well written too. Weldone.

    God bless and keep your baby.

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  24. I love my family26 October 2016 at 14:57

    interesting... I remembered when my wife n I was pregnant with our son,she was cool but some days she can be weird...I was busy at the office then my wife called n she was like darling 'm hungry,I was surprised I asked her What happened to all the food stuff n cereals at home?she said it was all irritating to her,OK o what do you want to eat then?meat pie?burger? she said no,pls baby get me jollof rice n beans with fried fresh fish(see weird combo),I was like are you sure that's what you want?can you even eat it? or better still let me come home n prepare a nice jollof rice, her response was no,she want the food from canteen..I immediately headed for a canteen n got the food,when I got home I handed the food to my oga but to my greatest surprise she just screamed n told me to dispose it that it smells bad,I was boiling with anger just took my car key n was about opening the door when I felt a warm hug from behind n she said in her sweet voice "baby 'm sorry", I said OK can I go back to office now?she said no that my baby wants to see me,I said what does that even mean? she covered her face with her palm n said shyly "darling 'm horny", I couldn't resist we made out n I went back to office...I know its not easy to have another being growing in u but pls ladies do put ur man in consideration as well...I love u Z____b,you and our son means the world to me.

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  25. You can smell a good husband. Lucky poster

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    Replies
    1. That is what I deduced too. Nice one!

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  26. Awwwww so sweet. Thank God for safe delivery. Your hospital it's Queensway right?

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  27. Funny LRD... Salute your baby for me.

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  28. This is is most exciting LRD ive read today.

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  29. Madam, u r a funny woman o.

    No dull moment with u. Congrats

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  30. I love this story..
    The writer is a clown.
    Motherhood rocks..

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  31. Hahahahahahahaha 'I love my family' just made me laughed hard again. Choi av really missed wedding night stories. God bless you stella and posters.

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    Replies
    1. Me too. I love men who love their families.

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  32. Congrats to you oh....I key into this your joy filled birthing. God bless ya husband, may God bless me with prayer like him oh, I loved the part where he demanded you apologize to the doc, #Betterman

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    Replies
    1. Thanks dauntless Cersei. God will bless you with your own betterman

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  33. Beautiful story

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  34. Where is this hospital in Ajah please? I'm 11 weeks gone and have been thinking which hospital to register with. God bless you family. Thank you.

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    Replies
    1. Royal infirmary @ badore. Just tell anyone royal busstop

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  35. Register with st Ives specialist hospital,ikoyi,wonderful, experienced gynaecologist ,serene environment,u will thank me later.

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  36. I sooooooo love this lrd. Ordinarily, I won't comment this time of the day but poster I swear I can't hold back. Love your narrative. Kisses to u, hubby n baby.

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  37. I read everything without skipping,interesting narrative,you be written,congrats and greet your oyibo for Mus! Love you Stella!

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  38. A very sweet story.poster u are a pretty writer.hmmm God help me am still single.I want to have my own baby 👶.pls answer me lord

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  39. During childbirth, the appearance of the baby's head from the mother's vagina is called crowning....nd ma'am, u can't be in 2cm nd crown...perhaps you wanted to write'the head was engaged'...nice l.r.d...

    ReplyDelete
  40. During childbirth, the appearance of the baby's head from the mother's vagina is called crowning....nd ma'am, u can't be in 2cm nd crown...perhaps you wanted to write'the head was engaged'...nice l.r.d...

    ReplyDelete
  41. During childbirth, the appearance of the baby's head from the mother's vagina is called crowning....nd ma'am, u can't be in 2cm nd crown...perhaps you wanted to write'the head was engaged'...nice l.r.d...

    ReplyDelete

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