Hmmm!!!
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
STUTTERING ISH
Good day Stella,l love the work you are doing here,God bless you. Please I need your advice and that of BVS. Please hide my email. I have a girlfriend,she attended UNILAG.We are both from Edo state. We have dated for 5years.
l love her and we are planning to settle down next year. Now,the problem is that she is a stutterer, the first day l met her l knew she was a stutterer but went ahead and dated her because l love her( she's a nice girl) so,her stuttering nature means nothing to me but to her it means the whole world.
Her stammering can be rated 50%. Stella, this girl is very smart,intelligent and outspoken but her stammering nature drives her back. She feels depressed anytime she wants to achieve something( which she can achieve) but couldn't achieve it because of her deficiency(stammering).Eg: During her defence in school,she was well prepared but her deficiency got her and she got B, she cried a lot that day because she knew she can do more than that.Her deficiency had made her to curtail her social life with people also made her to keep quiet when in public(social gathering)even when she has something to say.
Stella, she loves teaching and would love to be a lecturer. There was a school that advertised for teachers,she went and at the end of the day she did well. The proprietor of the school said he would communicate with them(the applicants) up till now,she hasn't received any call/ message but her fellow applicants have .We know it's because of her deficiency that made the proprietor not to call her because he must have observed her during the interview .Now,she's considering dropping the thought of teaching and go for any office work that won't make her a public eye.
We have tried out many solutions like googling on how to control stammering and meeting a therapist but it keeps occurring. l have told her to stop bothering herself but she never stopped because she feels that her deficiency will affect her future and may hinder her from attaining higher goals. Her stammering nature sets her back from her aspirations.
Please Stella and BVS,is there any other solution to this? Or is it really natural? Is it best for her to go for any office work since she has known her limitations? Please help me out cos this is what that matters to her in this WHOLE world.Thanks. God bless.
Its not easy for people who stutter to stand in public and talk.Teaching job?I dont think its advisable cos she is already so emotional about it and a teaching job will only bring out more emotions. How long does she drag the words before pronouncing them?
I heard of a teacher who was relieved of his job in primary school years back becos the whole kids in his class mimicked him to a point that they began to stutter and the parents didnt find it funny and began to take off their kids from the school.The management had to let him go to save their school.
You Understand?
Encourage her to take up and office job and then try to master her speech.
..............................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
PAYING FOR YOUR DRINK ON A DATE.
Hi Stella, Keep up the good work, I don't know if this is the right email to send this to, but please help me post this. I'm a silent BV, and I comment but not often. Ok here goes my story, i'll make it as short as possible
I'm a young lady of 27 and pretty too, I'm a graduate and working, so I will say I can take care of my self financially. I'm still very single and have no serious guy in my life right now. Not that no guy has approached me. I have my ex, let's call him Mr H, Met him in 2009 when I was in school, he was also in school, but not in the same state with me. We dated for 3 years, then broke up becos of distance ish, Note that he was my first love and we had a "no sex" relationship of which we were both comfortable with.
Fast forward to 2013 we came back together while we were both serving but not in the same state though but this time, I tried to make it work cos we were both in love with each other, so we would take turns in visiting each other, that was when I decided to give him the cookie, cos I truly loved him. It was on one of my visits to him that I noticed he doesn't let me touch or go near his phone, so I decided to snoop and I found what I was looking for. He was cheating on me, telling a girl that he loves her and asking her when her period would come. I was so heartbroken and I confronted him, he barely apologised with no remorse, but I forgave him.
And that was how our love dwindled till I called it quits with him. He was eager to go. I moved on. (i'm a strong woman) since then, i've been in and out of relationships but can't bring myself to love the way I loved Mr H. Mr H came back in 2015 when I got my first job, he sincerely begged for forgiveness and said he wants something more serious that could lead to marriage, I forgave him but couldn't bring myself to trust him so I friend-zoned him.
Note that Mr H is now working, but still hustling like me. Ok this year, I met this new guy, Mr B, he was a course mate in school, there was never anything in him to attract me back then, but he confessed that he has always crushed on me but never approached me. Now this guy is very nice and gentle, He works in a good company though entry level, as in he's still starting up. My problem is, I'm not feeling him, and I don't know why.
We've gone out once to a mall, and he did something that made me think twice, He asked me to take anything I want, and being the good girl that I am, I took just a pack of chocolate but I ended up paying for it myself. Yes u heard right!
He suddenly forgot that he didn't use the atm before entering the mall, and POS doesn't accept less than 1k. Even after he used the atm, he didn't refund me. My sis told me to confront him, which I did on chat. He begged, that he forgot and that he would pay it back , I said ok, but he hasnt. I'm confused right now, who should I accept in my life? Mr H is just there as a friend and he seems to be comfortable there as he's not making efforts to make me come around, also, He's not much of a help financially, anytime I ask him for a little assistance, he ends up picking quarrels with me.
While Mr B has always made effort to be close to me and he s talking marriage, apart from the mall incident, i'm yet to find out more about him. He confesses undying love for me. Madam Stella please your red pen is needed. Please note BVs: I have a problem with asking, I've always taken care of myself, I don't know if this is a problem, Mr H loved me cos of it. Please don't cuss me out, I need your advice. Thanks.
Yes I heard right but i dont see anything wrong with you paying for your drink.Every woman should go out prepared to pay for her drink/meal on a date,just in case.
It is only some Nigerian woman who have the mentality that a man must pay for a meal and when he doesnt all hell breaks loose.
I dont any problem and you had no right sleeping on that and confronting him.
WHY SHOULD HE PAY YOU BACK? SAY WETIN HAPPEN?
Please he might have given you excuses for not paying but you should not Judge him based on that....I dont know about the other guy but you seem to be SINGLE for now.
My dear,please stop expecting that guy to pay you back and stop looking for an ATM husband,they dont exist right now.
N2! Hope u re one of those saying gender equality, why complain? N1, God is ur help with ur friend o
ReplyDeleteHow can a guy take me out and I end up paying for what I ate especially on a first date? That can never happen to me. If Stella says it's a Nigerian woman mentality so be it, i'm I supposed to have a foreign woman's mentality when I'm not one. Does the so called foreigners have our mentality why should I wish for theirs?. I'm proud to be Nigerian and nothing on earth can change my 'Nigerian Woman Mentality', I like it like that. I'll rather pick another thing to make it the 1k so that he'll pay. Poster two keep yourself and mind open and be ready to accept any other better guy that comes around in the near future cos they're both bad news.
Delete@ poster;talking about Mr H,i think he should be off the book by now..
DeleteLike after all those attitude during those years and he suddenly popped up?? Then girl if you are serious yourself,you should tell him a straight No!! Cos going back to him would make him believe you have a low self worth and esteem..
it's more like spitting and going back to take it into your mouth!
Bydway has it occurred to you that he might just wanna use you for Re-bound??
Now about Mr B;lets just say what happened at that mall was an incident..
Then the question is;Has he been treating you right after that day??
Why not go on a date with him anytime soon and see how it goes?? (that is if that's what you need to rate his love for you)
Just don't ruin your relationship with Mr B because of a date that went wrong..at least use other facts like:
1) Does he value you??
2) Does he love and cherish you??
3) Does he "Need" you for keeps??
4) Can he make sacrifices for you in future??
5) is the relationship leading to anywhere??
This and many more are questions you should use to evaluate if you should continue with Mr B..and not just a date going wrong!!
#cheers
@MARTINS ABOY
I don't understand when people introduce themselves and say "I'm pretty", I'm curvy"... would you state of you were ugly???
DeletePoster 1 - I think you should advise your girl to stick to an office job. Except you both have the money to try advanced speech therapies oversea. I wish you guys the best.
DeletePoster 2 - It is ladies like you that make me tired of naija ladies. You all what to be seen as exposed women with western ideologies but not when it comes to this issue of going out on a date and spending then you all remember you're 100% locale African ladies. Plus you sound confused. You don't even know what you want for your life at this stage. And you sound cheap and desperate too. You spent less than 1k on chocolate that you ate to your own nourishment and you want refund of your money? Babe you need to travel out or watch more foreign movies. It's too much African magic and all these lacklustre home movies that's corrupting you ladies. No levels. You don't even deserve any of the guys. Just stay on your own as you can cater for yourself. I was really riled reading your empty chronicle. In fact you need to smoke kwale weed so you can start reasoning better and have sense.
You friend zoned him and still expect him to come around, just hear your self... Women eh, I can't deal abeg
DeleteThumbs up Martins
DeletePoster 2 keep looking. Neither is your boyfriend.
DeleteMartin's you too much
DeleteStella is it not a Nigerian woman's mentality to expect that a man pays for the date. It is a man with honour and pride that decides he will pay for it. Haba my husband when we were dating said the same thing to me. I picked the bills but before the end of that day he paid me and some. That's a man with honour! Every man wants to try to impress his date and even oyibos too! Stella has now become too oyibo to know how it goes abi? Abeg pack well bo.
DeleteMy late father used to say avoid people who have no shame and have no boundaries. That boy is one of such! Leave him alone!
Martins and doppelgänger are my fav on here.. You both are full of wisdom
DeleteStella you did not get the story. He was the one that asked her to pick whatever she wanted. Poster, if I were in your shoes. I would avoid both of them like a plague. They both have wahala. One is stingy, the other is a cheat and they are both liars. Chic do an Usain bolt on both men and pray that God will give you your soulmate
DeletePoster 1... my colleague a big oga had this type of problem, he went to London for a therapy and they gave him something that will aid his speech. Though he has improved on it but if your girl is bouyant enough, she can travel to London where they can help her.
ReplyDeleteIt is well with you.
Poster 2.... i became tired and did not bother to read. so no comment at all
Let me take space here.
Deleteposter 1- I don't know why you just want to give up like that. Can't you try harder? If after everything she's still stuttering then it means you are yet to try the right solution.
Moses, in the bible, was a stutter. And God made him a leader of the people of Israel, used him to redeem them from captivity. I'm sure today if anyone heard a stutter wants to become an activist, they will laugh.
Abeg, if othordox isn't working, call on God for deliverance and favour. I had a classmate who used to stutter in primary school, to the extent that he beats himself and jumps when hes talking. saw him a few years back and he doesn't anymore. Intense coaching from his counsellor helped, and prayers from his mum. Very very handsome boy and an only son (igbo). So you know what that meant to them....
part of it is caused by a high level of impatience in relating your thoughts via speech, he said. You think 5000 thoughts when you have to say 100 words. So your Brain is working overtime, while your lips know that they can only say few words.
Stella we preach faith for TTC on this blog. Why can't we apply the same faith for this case? It's wrong to advice them to quit in a time where office jobs are even so hard to get. In offices you talk too!! To clients, to colleagues, for presentations. When you're a manager you have to keep talking to junior colleagues to get the job done. So no job will exempt you from talking, except na factory job where you will wear mask. Even if you're a scientist you must speak and relay your research strategy and findings.
Please don't kill her dreams. I believe she can overcome.
Poster 2- why did you confront him for not paying for you? Na wa oh! Abeg you people should learn to have class and treat fools as fools. What's the Confrontation for? Chocolate? Is it more than N500?
DeleteIn such cases you watch out on the second date. Take him to a nice Chinese restaurant and see what he does. If he repeats it, Then you pay YOUR own bill, carry your bag and drive off without saying goodbye. Then block his numbers from your phone. Abeg Abeg, not to be doing mouth on blog. You ladies should learn to handle issues with class. That phone call is falling of hand #IMO
I don't even think the two guys are anything to call home about biko. Why not just grow your career first? What's with going back to your vomitted ex? Hian!
Kwakwakwakwakwa
DeleteChikito,I have always liked you for being outspoken,constructive,vast,intelligent and bold but after reading your comments especially to poster one,I just fell heads over heels in love with you.
DeleteNo,I'm not ass licking.
#Vikenx-virus
Posted 2. Go for Mr. B. Ensure you test him again. No one has time for a stingy BOO.
ReplyDeletePoster A. She should take it easy on herself.
Poster 1: i know for sure dat no good school in lagos would employ a stutter *sorry*, even these mushroom schools around reject them. probably an office job would be better more of paper work and less customer serving.
DeletePoster 2: u sound confused, moreover how much is the chocolate dat ur all about it.
Poster 2 if a man ask you out, he should pay unless you guys just met up somewhere without prior agreement.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, the two men are a NO and you should set your sight on someone more serious.
Poster 1 awwww so kind of you but stuttering is beyond her control.
She can start by tutoring kids in their homes till she gets better in controlling it.
Classroom teaching won't be easy for her with kids these days that are way ahead of their times. Imagine the giggles and stifling laughs when she is teaching and stuttering.
Some schools will be scared it will also affect the way kids pronunciations.
I wish her all the best.
@Poster 1, I really feel for your woman, this will kill her self confidence, I pray she finds help or she get used to it and overcome it.
ReplyDelete@Poster 2, haven't you both go on another date since that time? If no, please try and go on another date and see the outcome. Some men are stingy and it's a big turn off for me, I can't deal abeg
*Larry was here*
Poster one my suggestion may sound odd but it worked for my cousin when we where in sapele years back. Someone asked her to drink water from a canoe with snail shell. So early in the morning, she would go to the river side to fetch water from any canoe that hasn't bn used for the day. She'd drink the water until it is finished and then go back to refill the bottle. It worked for her. I don't know why it worked. Sounds weird, right? Yes. But it worked. She was the kind of stammerer that flashed her eyes whenever she talks. She is a teacher now in one of Nnpc primary schools n delta state.
DeletePoster one: there is no cure for that, it will reduce at the appointed time so for the time being she should take an office job. I know how it feels because I got a cousin with such situation and with time it reduces in her and you can't tell now if she was once in a stammering
ReplyDeletePoster 2: abeg all of this relationship issue is so tiring. Your mind is ur best friend, choose what your mind tells you.
At least first start with the testimony of your cousin to motivate him. Not with 'there is no cure'. Ahn ahn!
DeleteI also stammer in short in my father's family we all stammer.My own was so bad dat I hardly talk in public. It has stopped now thou. Just tell her too try very hard too control it . It takes time thou
DeletePoster one. Encourage your girl to develop the habit of singing.
ReplyDeleteEyaa
ReplyDeletePoster one...
Everyone cannot do an office work nau...meanwhile stutterers are hot tempered!...
I don't think working in an office enviroment is good for her cos she might slap her boss when she is provoked!...
She should look for another thing to do abeg...
Poster 2,
See your mouth like you have a problem with asking someone that is fucking you for financial help!...
Continue forming miss independent inugo!...
You will know what's up when you gets married and you are the only one running the home with your money...
Mumu girl!...
None of the guys is good for you...continue fishing untill the get the right fish!...
I'm sure you are a Y babe!...
Nonsense!...
Dis miss independent thing is annoying. Work, earn ur money but stop forming miss independent abeg. Ha!
DeleteAnd don't turn a beggar biko.
Stella,I don't totally agree with you on narrative 2. The guy said "pick what you want". He shld be ready to pay there Nd den or refund after being asked. First impression matters a lot
ReplyDeleteYou are still single as far as I am concerned.
Exactly young forever.
Delete1. Listen to Stella.
2. The guy was dishonest by telling you to pick whatever you want when he had no intention of paying. He could be serious about marriage but like Linda said you will be the one caring for yourself and maybe even your home. The other guy is not really into you, just out for what he can get. I don't agree with Stella here. Your concerns are genuine. Like someone said you can test the serious guy. But I guess you have not yet found your husband. Move on.
Thank you my dear. You just penned my thoughts.
DeleteHow can he say you should pick whatever you want and won't pay for it. Would have been a different thing if he didn't say that atall and then I will go with what stella said.
Poster 2 abeg leave both of them and move forward. You will find a better person.
Don't mind stella. Instead of the guy to ask her to take something to make the cash 1k, him dey form stupidity.
DeleteStella I don't agree with u, they went on a date and he asked her to take whatever she wants, which implies he was gonna pay for it but he didn't and came up with a flimsy excuse. That's very wrong on his part. Poster that guy is stingy and a big liar. Who goes on a date without Cash? If I were u I would have collected chocolates worth 2k or more so that he pays with his debit card! Just forget about your 1k, its gone
ReplyDeletePoster 1,just encourage her to look for work where she doesn't need to talk much,it ain't her fault
ReplyDeleteNgwanu advisers, i go do siddon dey look today
ReplyDeletePoster 1 I can imagine what your woman is going through. My cousin can't even pronounce his name. His own stammering is on another level and he likes argument eh... if you ask him how far now bros, just leave him there and travel when you return you get your reply... very touching something. Call him on the phone, just be prepared and have enough airtime... your woman should forget the idea of teaching cos e no go funny rara..
ReplyDeleteHahahaha your statement just made me come out of "retirement "
DeleteWhen a stutterer is talking to me, I literally hold my breath unconsciously till they're able to finish their statement ,and truly na them like gist pass. P1 it is well with her,just keep giving her all d emotional support and otherwise that u can render...you're a good man.
Sherry's Daughter
Poster1: ofcourse her disability shld tell her thr are certain opportunities that wldnt favour her, so its a no go area, instead of going to humuliate herself & stl nt get a chance.... Teaching & any related job that has to do wit speech isn't advisable, even if by chance she gets it, the students will make her life a living hell, they'd constantly mock & make caricature of her speech
ReplyDeleteYou are right Atheist but I believe in God and know He has the power to heal her. Let her pray for healing and not give up.
DeleteStammering isn't a deficiency neither is it a life sentence. anyways While she awaits d possibility of taking up a lecturing job someday let her get an office job for now. She shud form d habit of talking more; be more expressive. I have a friend who stammers but being a talkative has helped him stammer less than when he was in his clouded in his shell.
ReplyDeleteIts well wt ur bae, if she is a Christian let her also remain positive in Christ thru whom she can do all things by his strength. Ciao
Hmmm short of word after seeing madam stella red pen
ReplyDeleteStella ur comment on poster 2 is not it at all.He offered to take her out so he must be prepared to foot the bills.Even here in the states it's like that and since she paid he should refund if he's truly serious about her.
ReplyDeleteThat you carried 'vex money' doesn't necessarily mean you actually want to use it. That guy didn't forget nothing na so e dey start o. But poster you claim to be independent but you are focusing on what the both guys can offer you. Pick a struggle abeg
DeletePoster tell ur gf that she should have more confidence in herself, i have a friend that stutters bt she doesnt allow it stop her, she is a talkative n wenever we all meet new pple she will be the first to tlk lol.
ReplyDeleteMadam poster two, there are so many ways to kill a bird u knw? That a man didnt refund u 1k doesnt mean he is stingy, if i were u, i will not even ask for that money from him, infact, i would pretend that i hv forgotten it, and ehile u guys r going stronger, u can ask him for anytin u want, u just hv to be perceptive with ur man, knw his moods n how to work him. Yes, knw his mumu button. When a man will ask u to use ur money thay he will give u back, u cn collect that money times two if u knw wat ur doing. Except the guy is stingy tgen u r on ur own. Bt as for mr H, babe that ship has sailed.
Iro o. Ask for your money until you get it. I he gets angry and leave you will be satisfied for collecting back your money. He didn't forget nada
DeleteAnonymous i didnt say he forgot, im not saying she cant get it back either, all im saying is thay outrightly askimg for it is too much, there are ways she could get it bck times two. She should just play her game right.
DeletePoster two, ur problem is?
ReplyDeleteU said u friend zoned Mr H cos of trust issues, u are still complaining he's making no effort to woo you.
Mr B is making effort, but he's not a free giver, u r independent so his not paying for ur stuff shouldn't bother you, abi what is d miss independent for?
Poster 1: Please let her forget about teaching for now until she can find help concerning her situation. She should seek employment in other sector.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: Walk away from them o. That Mr B will remain stingy even in marriage.
Poster1 my hear goes out to her. Thank God she has someone like you, encourage her all the time because she really needs it. She should always try to calm down before talking. I think their speech flows better when they are calm. A girl in my church that stutters even joined the choir and she does well.
ReplyDeleteStella I don't agree with you on poster 2 abeg6. It was a date, not like they ran into each other and decided to have a meal together.
Poster 2 he didn't forget anything. It's cos you have been showing him that you are an independent woman and can take care of yourself financially that he pulled that off. Simply ask him if you should forward your account number so that he can do transfer. It's that simple. I don't joke with my money o. He owes you, simple and don't be lenient with him about that. Make it a case and keep pestering until he gives you even your cab fare sef. Who independent woman don help?
ReplyDeleteTransfer what? 500 naira? For chocolate. Abeg I'm not the champion of independent women association cos I let men do the job (thank God stingy men don't even come near me) but please, there are things you ignore out of self respect!!!
DeleteChikito you sabi body. Some ladies just don't have levels. Chocolate of less than #5h and she wants refund. I cry for our ladies.
DeleteYou've said it all. Please don't turn yourself into a beggar because of a pack of chocolate . how can you ask for a transfer of such an amount. Haba!!! Chikito you are even saying 500, it could be less! Please the poster should not have asked for a refund or complained at all. She would have waited till another date and pick something really expensive and if he doesn't pay again... She should move on without loosing her dignity and self respect. Give him attitude in a classy way, if he complains tell him it won't work. It's good to be able to pay your own bills but not tolerate a stingy man. There will never be peace in that relationship.
DeleteP2. You shouldn't be putting Mr H(H for heartbreak) in your option list cus it still won't workout between you 2. Press delete.. Study Mr for sometime n be sure of a better reason not to date him.
ReplyDeleteP1. The goal is to make it in life. Open a kind of business she can handle for her if you like this idea.
#if the plan doesn't work, change the plan but never change the goal.
I have a friend that stutters well and he got a job as a lecturer at a private University,though he made a first class in first degree and distinction In master's.
DeleteDidn't even bother reading the second chronicle as poster1 gave me a thought about myself because I stutter too.In primary school my classmates made fun of me even my siblings too. But I always find consolation when I remember Moses in the bible. He led the Isrealites out of Egypt as a stammerer. People see me as timid but I know I am not, my deficiency in speaking make me hold back in things I love to do. Guess what I love to do? Presenting!! I doubt if I'll ever be one because it breaks my heart. Some people think I'm a snub and I am not because even to say "Hello" I must stutter. So I avoid the embarasment and just smile or just walk away. It hurts, it really does because I am intelligent I know things but they remain in my heart because I can voice it without stuttering. People hurt me in the market, work, hospitals, banks etc but I find it hard articulating my feelings. In Uni a lecturer said "fine girl,good brain but I can't stand the way you talk".
ReplyDeleteThat must have been a very silly lecturer. If you can't speak, why not project your thoughts through writing? Don't let your intelligence die...all the best
Delete*hugs*
DeleteAwww.... my dear, keeping quiet doesn't solve the problem it aggravates it. I think before you speak at length, let people around you know that you stutter. That way they know hat to expect.
Deletepractice makes perfect. If you keep keeping quiet you won't know how to help yourself speak better. I got sad when I read the 'hurt' part. Can imagine cos me I'm very expressive and once I'm hurt I retaliate immediately. Imagine not being able to..... *sigh*
Hmmmm.. you'll be alright darling, why not channel your emotions / feelings into wtiting,that could help you know?
DeleteSherry's Daughter
I just mentally put myself in your shoes right now. Wow! I'm sorry you had to go through that.
DeleteI used to have a friend while growing although she was always angry and had questionable character, i loved her. She had a heart of Gold. She was strong, fearless, couldn't be pushed over.
In fact don't dare interrupt her when she is trying to speak. She will arrange it for you.
I believe you are a very strong person and it's going to open unimaginable doors for you.
I stutter also but I can talk for Africa. Nobody can intimidate me oooo even when the stammer want too take over Omo I no gree am oo. And now I don't even how the stammer just stopped on is own. D stammer miss road cum and e miss road go. Hv stopped stammering. My dear don't allow stutter kill your self confidence. In my father's family na Wetin dem take swear for dem be dat but Omo God no gree am catch me and my brother it has stopped. But if I vex e dey cum small small
DeleteI stutter also but I can talk for Africa. Nobody can intimidate me oooo even when the stammer want too take over Omo I no gree am oo. And now I don't even how the stammer just stopped on is own. D stammer miss road cum and e miss road go. Hv stopped stammering. My dear don't allow stutter kill your self confidence. In my father's family na Wetin dem take swear for dem be dat but Omo God no gree am catch me and my brother it has stopped. But if I vex e dey cum small small
DeleteI don't even know the exactly thing to say to you @ poster two.
ReplyDeleteGbensh Mr B too and get more boyfriends .
Shebi you were told to put your eggs in plenty baskets.. Lol
I hate advising a girl with more than one boyfriend at a time. Mr B and Mr H.
#rubbish.
What is this self entitlement women have in relationships and every relationship seem like a meal ticket to some women. Well I won't blame you since it was the guy that said take what you want in the mall. It's obvious he has to pay but it seems you judge a potential suitor from how much they can be generous with money or (assistance) according to you. Lol
ReplyDelete@ poster don't listen to stella... A man must be willing to pay and give you money during getting courtship.. What nonsence 😕😕😕
ReplyDeleteYou are ignorant. Relationship is 50 50..dont make your boyfriend play your fathers role till you are married.
DeleteAnd it's nonsense not nonsence
Deleteposter 1 . a normal lesson period or duration in naija is 40 minutes. how does she intend to cover a topic in forty minutes when she is a stammarer? i understand her zeal and its quite inspiring, but to be frank let her just forget about teaching it aint for her. she should focus more on doing something else, something that doesnt require her to talk much with people. but damn!!! thats one hell of an annoying limitation oooh. eyaaaah i feel for her sha.
ReplyDelete*hangs leg on the cupboard*
Why would a guy asked me out on a date, I wud dress up, leave my home meet up @ d designated hang out n u expect me to pay for my drink. Mschew dat guy must really b nuts.
ReplyDeleteI can buy myself drink on subsequent dates but not wen its d 1st time n its d guy dat initiated d date.
Anyways kindly bench Mr H n Mr B, none of dem deserves ur heart. Watch n pray as well. Cheers
Thank you,God bless you, you will live long. What rubbish I'm miss independent to the core,but I realized that men do not appreciate what they don't work for and work in Nigeria equals money. nothing good comes easy abeg. So I will leave my comfort zone( my house) spend my time with you, use my energy to gist then u will now say u forgot to withdraw cash. Something must be seriously wrong with that guy. Me sef I forgot to withdraw cash, or a what do we do?. The guy is saying he loves you with all his heart, he should put his money where his mouth is. There is no love in Nigeria o, any guy that spends money is either serious or wants fast sex, any guy that doesn't spend his money and is saying he loves you is a time waster. My dear just manufacture a business idea now and tell him to invest in you, if he says he is broke right now, let him carry his brokenness else where.i can't even believe you typed all this on top of 1k, if u were 16 now I would understand. My dear at 27 u have no business going on chocolate dates.
Deletestella stop it! living abroad has reset your memory so let that memory of yours remain right there with you. How can he suddenly forgot to use the AtM? poster you are very much single.
ReplyDeletewhy do i have a feeling that you are desperate? my dear chill ... enjoy your life, take out time to meet good people.
lastly don't forget to participate in the next single and mingle. yes it works!
i met my dream man on single and mingle.
gosh you guys need to see how our first date went... it was heavenly.
will write Stella soon about it just waiting for it to mature fully.
Yea. Sounds desperate to me
Delete*Mcheeew*
ReplyDeletePoster1, 2... Just follow the red ink advice. that's all.
Which rotten red ink advice? Dumb fool! That's why you will remain single!
DeletePoster One; Your girlfriend should interchange her words. She should avoid sentences that will make her stuttering visible. One syllable words curbs that a lot
ReplyDeleteFor example,she can use babe in replacement of girl
With time, she'll improve drastically
Poster Two; Mr H is bad news
It's good you friend zoned him, it shouldn't go beyond that
Mr B is nothing to write home abeg
But since you stated you're working, you're open to meeting better quality guys
I Wonder why you're still hooking up with guys from your college days
As far as I'm concerned....., you're very much single
Focus on better......, do better
Poster 1,I think your gf should quit trying to get a teaching job. These days,schools employ teachers that are sound in all areas,no offence. She should try her hands at an office job, I have a colleague who stutters and it's not so much of a problem.
ReplyDeletePoster2..in as much as I think the guy should have paid, I see nothing wrong with you paying, and considering the fact that it wasn't so much and it was the first time, you shouldn't have confronted him. It speaks little of you.
You should be glad he's still on your case.Anyway,i think you should give it a try with Mr B and watch him closely.
Poster 2#
ReplyDeleteIf I were you I would not request for a refund of that 1k instead I will test him with something else.
I understand he req you take anything you want but hey forget tags episode and test him more.
It's just like a woman asking her man for 1k when she can make a list of 10k for a pot of soup which might cost her 3-5k.
But just like Stella said, stop looking for an ATM husband they don't exist instead look out for a man that loves God am sure he will automatically turn into your preferred ATM!!
Thank you pink berry. Why ask for a refund for small money like that?
DeleteWhat do u mean by she should stop looking for atm husband? Didnt u read where she said she's working and comfortable. I always tell women to stop all this independent nonsense. Spoil urself with ur money for all i care but still collect money from whoever u are dating whether u need the money or not
Deleteposter 2 hmmmmmmmm babe you are single so keep searching, have you tried Mr Patrick? i heard dude is single oooh? lols.
ReplyDelete*hangs leg on the cupboard*
Wow!....stella surprised me with her comment on d second post. I wasn't expecting u to blame d lady I was expecting u to cuss d guy silly.
ReplyDeleteLadies should not expect guys to foot their bills on dates as If it's her right
I personally will make sure I foot your bills but it's a privilege for u not your right....u should come prepared.
What if I lose my atm?, or there's a problem with my bank or I couldn't make the date?. Won't u go home?
She had money, she works and she paid. To me the guy seems cunning and stingy. Ofcourse I could be wrong. I think her instincts are disturbing her about the guy. Poster if you still wan shook head, open eye ooo. Anywayz Okpolo eye nor be open eye.
DeletePoster 1#,
ReplyDeleteEncourage her to talk gradually I heard it helps.
Poster 1,encourage her to go after her dreams,God will touch her speech,she can also get a speech therapist, poster 2,both guys are not worth your time,your ex just wants your cookie once more,the other guy is stingy,don't date or marry a stingy guy.
ReplyDeleteI stutter too but learning to control it. She has to learn breathing exercises and pronouncing words one syllable at a time...mostly by reading books out loud to you (her boyfriend ) or somebody close to her who won't make her anxious,she has to be calm in her mind before she speaks through her mouth. I still stutter when i am over excited or angry or meeting someone for the first time but it is way better than before...some people see me as a talkative, some people have never heard my voice depends on how I feel around the person.
ReplyDeleteJust teach her to be calm and confident,it is not an overnight thing though...it takes time and patience and help.
Nmaureen .
How can a guy take me out and I end up paying for what I ate especially on a first date? That can never happen to me. If Stella says it's a Nigerian woman mentality so be it, i'm I supposed to have a foreign woman's mentality when I'm not one. Does the so called foreigners have our mentality why should I wish for theirs?. I'm proud to be Nigerian and nothing on earth can change my 'Nigerian Woman Mentality', I like it like that. I'll rather pick another thing to make it the 1k so that he'll pay. Poster two keep yourself and mind open and be ready to accept any other better guy that comes around in the near future cos they're both bad news.
ReplyDeleteI love your comment.
DeleteMumu comment. African magic mentality. You fall hands viva!
DeletePoster 2, He was the one that offered to take you out so he should be the one to pay for your meal (forget what stella is saying). Just observe him carefully and test him again to find out if he is stingy and 'likes using sense'.The worst thing that can happen to any lady is to marry a stingy man.God forbid
ReplyDeletePoster 2: Move on from Mr H....you will get further messed up if he treats you wrong again. Never give blatant cheats second chances... they get empowered and want to push more boundaries. Pls be the strong woman you are and forget all that marriage talk running out of his mouth. He probably is still lowkey smarting from your brave move to bone him before. Marry that guy and see misery...i swear he has a reason for marriage and that's solely albeit unconsciously to go back in time and generate the "right reaction" he expected of you when you discovered his cheating moves. That right reaction is you caving,accepting and settling for rubbish. He has the future to do that to you...don't give him that.
ReplyDeleteI'm hammering on Mr H coz he is going to begin to Look like a yummy option seeing that Mr B is a smart goat. And by the way, Mr B is actually a smart goat.
So he asked you to pick something on a date...meaning it was on him. Don't allow anyone confuse you about that. And somehow he stood by, probably pretended not to hear the cashier calling the price or fumbling with his wallet while you paid or was in "deep thought".....how cheap of him!
See that little drama is a warning sign. He is clearly stingy and manipulative, that you can see. The longterm behaviou you will get should you persist and carry on to date yourself is...he will be the type whose eyes will be in your finances, a compulsive borrower, a false life evangelist... then he gets controlling, might cheat as well and generally be a bad husband. Forget that crush story, dude smells money around you so don't waste time around him except you both want marriage where you both are "stoning sense" on each other.
Poster 1: You really are a sweet guy, and i like how you care and "see" that girl. However, try as you may to capture this story, you did try by the way...there are lots of assumptions in your story. I hope others give quality advise on her stuttering issues and possible solutions. Though, it might be kind of late seeing she is grown up and, her major issue might just need building her confidence and esteem so she she can first see herself as someone who can be and do anything and, not one that is defined by her stutter as a solution.
You are doing this with great intentions which is beautiful but this is not your chronicle to write. Encourage her to write it herself. Let it come from a personal angle, free from the assumptions....She is likely to let something slip, beyond the problem you think which when pointed out and worked on, will be the catalyst to a brand new level of self-awareness and growth. Goodluck!
stella i dont think u understood poster 2. why will the guy ask her to pick whatever she wants and not have the money to pay for it, and then act as if he doesn't remember the incident as soon as he got money. she was right to ask him, but babe that shldnt be the yardstick to judge him. see in relationship the hand u start with is what u'll get. if u act independence all the time dont expect it to change overnight. at the end it shld be 50-50, the person u go in a relationship with shld be able to take of u shikena. its not that u cant take care of urself.
ReplyDeletePoster one, get her a therapist and let her do another job.
ReplyDeletePoster two, leave them both, let your ex go and let Mr B go, you said you not feeling him sef.
That POS guy is not it atall.don't let no body deceive u he is stingy.why didn't he tell u he doesn't have cash with him?why didn't he attempt to pay back?
ReplyDeletePoster 1..Teaching mbanu!!
ReplyDeletePoster 2.. I don't like stingy guys. Not a fan of splitting bills abeg until things get really serious. That point I don't care if na me pay all sef.I like the old fashion kind of love. Be the man let me be the girl. That way if I get emotionally attached to you all the pretty things I will start doing for you I no go too think am cos I know you can do even more for me ..Test the guy jare. Make demands if he stays fine if he runs away good riddance.
Poster 1- Your girlfriend needs to appreciate herself first, love herself for whom she truly is before expecting other peoole to accept her the way she is. She obviously has complex issues as a realut of the stuttering which isn't good. She needs to build confidence in herself. Very important. I have a friend who stutters. He sings as well; but whenever he handles he microphone, the stuttering disappears. When he drops the microphone, the stuttering reappears. I don't know how it happens, but it happens. I have a sister and brother who used to stutter; but how it disappeared is still a mystery till date. Note that my brother & sister are very confident. When they mean business, they mean it and stuttering dare not stand in their way. I don't know if that's how they overcame it, but one thing I know is that they weren't emotional about it. They didn't look down on theselves. They didn't beat themselves up, rather they rose above it. Your girlfriend is too emotional. she needs to stop feeling sorry for herself. We are in a hard world already. Everyone is fighting their battles. She needs to fight hers and win it. Good luck to her.
ReplyDeletePoster 2- You confronted him because he didn't pay for a packet of chocolate? You didn't do right sweetie. I don't know why some ladies expect a man to pay for everything on a date. Same argument I had with some friends a while back. Whether I'm going out out on a date, taking a walk or anything, I always make sure I have money on me in case a need arise. You did well by having money on you. You haven't gotten to know this guy well and you are always judging him based on a packet of chocolate. At least he did well by attempting to pay with POS. Shows that he wanted to pay. Were you expecting him to go look for an atm late on and say "babe take your money for the chocolate." Really, if he had done that, would you have accepted? I wouldn't have. The problem with some of us is that we are in hurry, that's why we sometimes out on the good things. How about you give yourself a break. You are rushing things and expecting too much at the same time. Take it easy. Cool down. Ask yourself what you really want. I'm sure you'ld find answers. All the best dearie.
I'm a stutter too. it was worst while growing up but now I don't anymore expect I'm very angry and in a hurry to talk
ReplyDeleteJust as DonMayor said, singing helps also. I was once a chronic stutter, but when I started learning how to rap, I discovered it reduced. Except I'm tensed, I don't stutter when talking these days.
ReplyDeletePoster 1: I think first of all, she is so anxious about her speech impairment and carries it as a load everywhere she goes..Its not easy but she needs to build confidence in her . She needs to relax, try to be calm and In the meantime, look for a speech therapist . she can go to LUTH and she will get help.
ReplyDeleteI know a guy in my office who stutters but he walks with so much confidence and am really marveled. He is one of the best employee in our company so she can overcome it.
Poster 2: wow!! wow!! what can I say?? If you ask me I would say forget those two guys. I mean he asked you to pick what you want and you ended up paying.. That is highly embarrassing if you ask me...Just be yourself..
Poster one, am really feeling for her just try your possible best with the encouragement or she can be self employed, poster 2, hmmmm just be watchful I don't really trust Mr.B
ReplyDeletePoster 2:
ReplyDelete"That was when I gave him the cookie because I love him so much . . ."
I've heard and read this line a lot from "foolish girls". So now, who is confused, depressed, can't seem to move on, seen as a whore etc.?
Some girls are "serial whores"; they give the "cookie" to any boy they are in relationship with. Relationship is not sex; it is a time to get to know someone's character. Girl, that boy will not marry you; he does not trust you. The reason is simple, she sees you as a "vagina distributor". He thinks that you do same to every boy you are in relationship with. He is coming back for more sex and why not; you give it. Repent and Seek God from whom all blessings come; including husbands.
Poster 1, your girlfriend should stop trying to get a teaching job. She should either go for an office job, or set up a private business for herself. She can be her own boss.
ReplyDeleteAlso, she should learn to talk slowly.
Poster 2, you're a single girl, forget about those two guys! They are not ready for you, and stop being miss. independent, a guy is suppose to pay the bill if he asked you out. You're to be pampered, don't settle for less or else in few years time after getting married, you will send another chronicles narrating, how you are the one taking care of your kids and matrimonial home and how the load is now too much for you to carry, because you don't like asking, cos you're Mrs.independent.
If u ask a lady out, u should be able to foot the bills. Stella dat ur own na western style mbok
ReplyDelete@poster 1 I truly understand what your girl is going through. We are on the same boat. Mine is 60/70% most especially when am angry. I believe she is hot tempered too let her calm herself down when ever she is giving a speech. Is not that easy I must tell you if I can do it I believe she can. In the teaching aspect she can only do it if she talk slowly and steady with time she will come around ok. There is nothing to be worried about is her passion let her go for it though am not in the teaching profession but I deal with people too (patients). I wish her all the best.
ReplyDeletePoster 1: she can reduce it. I know someone that stammers and this is what he said that helped him.
ReplyDeleteBefore talking, she should breathe in first. Breathe and then talk, breathe and then talk. It reduces it that way. Trust me, it works.
A lecturer in my department is a stammer. But it's not obvious. If she wants to change her mind, it's cool but she should stop being hard on herself abeg.
Poster 2: na so stingyness take dey start o. Better be careful. For now, u r dating urself
POSTER 1- i had a course who was a stuttere. a theatre artist can't act a regular role if he stutters. this guy started mastering his speech after a speech course like that. today i cant even remember he once stuttered.
ReplyDeletePOSTER 2: sweety you are still very single.those two people are jokers. leave them in the basket and find more eggs
Some guys are just wicked. You think you can dump me after standing by you when you had nothing. I spent my hard earned money you.. Now you have made it you want to leave and you think is possible.... Me or nobody.... Am ready for you
ReplyDeletePlease let go and move on. Forgive, God will compensate you with the best.
DeleteSome guys are just wicked. You think you can dump me after standing by you when you had nothing. I spent my hard earned money you.. Now you have made it you want to leave and you think is possible.... Me or nobody.... Am ready for you
ReplyDeleteGuy tell your babe to give it time my brother was like that too but it reduced after some time because he learned to control it
ReplyDeleteSome guys are just wicked. You think you can dump me after standing by you when you had nothing. I spent my hard earned money you.. Now you have made it you want to leave and you think is possible.... Me or nobody.... Am ready for you
ReplyDeletePoster 1 please advise her to ALWAYS speak SLOWLLY. She shouldn't be in a hurry to talk...let her take her time before she speak..that will go a long way in helping her.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 please keep calm, don't choose any of them yet..remain single and watch them before deciding which to date...but it's your call anyways
Please guys, help me with steps in editing my blog ID. I have managed to open a blog but each time I want to comment with an ID, it shows my full details...I will like to comment using alias....thank you
ReplyDeletePoster 1. stuttering is not an illness dear.She will grow out of it as she ages(that is if she feels confident, talk and sing more).
ReplyDeleteLet her join the choir group in church, they are usually amazing singers.
I think the best job for her is writing/editing/proof reading. or Engineering( all these areas requires less talking. she can work in media houses where she can handle the above listed.
Office work depend on the departments (insurance underwriting/claims is better).
Get her to see a counsellor, probaly a good pastor or a psycologist. I wish I could talk to her directly..and if all the above is hard to get, she can consider doing business like event planning/decoration/bead making/cathering.
#beautifuleyes#
Nice one!
DeletePoster 1. stuttering is not an illness dear.She will grow out of it as she ages(that is if she feels confident, talk and sing more).
ReplyDeleteLet her join the choir group in church, they are usually amazing singers.
I think the best job for her is writing/editing/proof reading. or Engineering( all these areas requires less talking. she can work in media houses where she can handle the above listed.
Office work depend on the departments (insurance underwriting/claims is better).
Get her to see a counsellor, probaly a good pastor or a psycologist. I wish I could talk to her directly..and if all the above is hard to get, she can consider doing business like event planning/decoration/bead making/cathering.
#Beautifuleyes#
1. Keep encouraging her. Not easy to deal with even in an office arena/envt, she should maintain her cool so as not to be provoked.
ReplyDelete2. Pick anything and he forgot to withdraw. Is he testing you or what? I will jejeje drop the chocolate back and a side eye to him will summarise everything.
@Anon 15!28.. The real me won't have honored your "lack of home training" wit a reply. But because I'm here for fun, I'll tell you this' you are incredibly stupid. U can take that to the bank.
ReplyDeletePoster one: I hardly comment on this blog but because of your post I am compelled to comment. Look I have this brilliant very sociable and likeable colleague who also happens to be a part time lecturer in Unilag. You know what he is a stutterer. Late MKO Abiola was also a stutterer who ran for office as President of Nigeria in 1993 a very brilliant and erudite speaker and business man. I can go on and on.Whatever the human mind sets itself to achieve it can achieve. Please tell tell your girlfriend to go out and make friends and express herself.She can aim to be a lecturer at least no one will accuse her of influencing his/her child to stammer.If she is as good as you describe her to be the sky can be her starting point. There are very slow speakers does that stop them from achieving their dreams? NO. Please stop hiding and start show casing your talents.Blessings on you!
ReplyDeletePoster one: I hardly comment on this blog but because of your post I am compelled to comment. Look I have this brilliant very sociable and likeable colleague who also happens to be a part time lecturer in Unilag. You know what he is a stutterer. Late MKO Abiola was also a stutterer who ran for office as President of Nigeria in 1993 a very brilliant and erudite speaker and business man. I can go on and on.Whatever the human mind sets itself to achieve it can achieve. Please tell tell your girlfriend to go out and make friends and express herself.She can aim to be a lecturer at least no one will accuse her of influencing his/her child to stammer.If she is as good as you describe her to be the sky can be her starting point. There are very slow speakers does that stop them from achieving their dreams? NO. Please stop hiding and start show casing your talents.Blessings on you!
ReplyDeleteOho!
DeletePoster one: I hardly comment on this blog but because of your post I am compelled to comment. Look I have this brilliant very sociable and likeable colleague who also happens to be a part time lecturer in Unilag. You know what he is a stutterer. Late MKO Abiola was also a stutterer who ran for office as President of Nigeria in 1993 a very brilliant and erudite speaker and business man. I can go on and on.Whatever the human mind sets itself to achieve it can achieve. Please tell tell your girlfriend to go out and make friends and express herself.She can aim to be a lecturer at least no one will accuse her of influencing his/her child to stammer.If she is as good as you describe her to be the sky can be her starting point. There are very slow speakers does that stop them from achieving their dreams? NO. Please stop hiding and start show casing your talents.Blessings on you!
ReplyDeletePoster 2,please just drop their sorry assume girl, you'll find a suitable companion in a due time. A stingy man is just a no for me. I just dropped an ass of his like last week cos I can't cope with someone that's irresponsible and before you know it, they'll start claiming the head and overall. I can't deal joor
ReplyDeletePoster 2, both men are no good!
ReplyDeleteThat Mr B is just an idiot.
And Stella, sometimes you can misyarn.
How can you say you see nothing wrong in the guy not paying for her drink?
Keep your upgraded oyinbo mentality somewhere the sun don't shine abeg.
When you were in Naija, you paid for your drink when you were out on a date abi?
Or you missed the part where she said he told her to take whatever she wants.
Notwithstanding, he should have paid!
A man asks me out on a date and expects me to pay?
He's on a long thing, mschew.
My dear, good thing you went with vex money. It's very important that a woman should.
Poster 1, sorry about your woman's plight.
ReplyDeleteShe should get a job where she'd be obscure;
Where she won't have to talk to people so much.
In other news, am I the only person that's tired of this 'fast forward' grammar? It's getting irritating.
Can't one just say, "in 2013, bla bla bla..."
Must y'all say, "fast forward to 2013" or "fast forward to that year"
Make una stop abeg.
Na beg I dey.
Thanks😫
Poster 1, she can't make a good teacher to avoid ending up pronouncing hipottamus while students responds hip hip hip hurray.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, your case is what my people called "mma na abo di be onye isi, nke di nko enwero isi, nke nwere isi adiro nko". My dear, you are single the way I read your chronicle. Why would you pay the bill yourself. My dear, don't start forming miss Independent to any man, once you do, it will last even up to marriage. Be wise there. Afterall he was the one that took you out, supposing you don't have money on you? Please drop that guy, he is too stingy. And by the way, is he a banker? For Mr H, just let him be, he is enjoying himself somewhere, he might come back to you later or may not. Nke di na iru ka.
Poster 1: please encourage her to get a desk job, after all some of us dreamt of flying airplanes but ended up as admin officers or customer service. #LifeHappens
ReplyDeletePoster 2: please you are still single, free those Le boos. He asked you to dress up and now forgot to use the ATM, odi ka Isi gbariri ya. Please stop forming I don't make demands and he likes me like that, na the stinginess inside the man dey talk not his brain inukwa Miss independent. Pls I can only split bills or pay for stuff in MARRIAGE full stop
Poster 2 B is a big no no 4 failing a compulsory test on a first date. He is rubbish also.my dear keep searching. U have not found
ReplyDeletePoster 2 B is a big no no 4 failing a compulsory test on a first date. He is rubbish also.my dear keep searching. U have not found
ReplyDeleteChocolate that is less than a thousand naira? If I were you I would pay, test him again and if he fails to pay, I would pay for myself, 🚶 away forever.
ReplyDeleteBVS help, please am in love with someone whom am not sure feels the same way. What can I do please its really eating me up. We are dating and the most annoying part is that I have like three men I knew before him who wants to date me now. One is married and a politician who wants me as a side chick , I knew him way back from 2010 he was married but wife not around wanted us to date but I was young and scared, stumbled on him like last year and he has been disturbing me since then his wife is back but he wants me as a side chick and wants me to be travelling with him, I dont want this. The second person is married and lied to me he wasn't I cut ties with him but asking for a come back while the third person is not just appealing to me and dosent even reside in the same state with me. The only person I have feelings for is almost making me mad. I honestly dont know what to do, what do I to totally win his heart, prefers to handle his fone chatting whenever we are around together, he has virtually stopped doing the things he used to before we started dating. How do you even get your partner to remain faithful. Pleaseeeeee help BVS.
ReplyDeleteShe can use her talent for good, just join me in ma hustle in riding big big preeq, on this trade stuttering is allowed..
ReplyDeleteposter 1, I have an advice for you. I have been stammering and I don't pronounce words well. In fact I had a speech defect in general. However I am better of now, I still stammer and I don't pronounce words well sometimes but I swag it out, lol. Right now I am outside the country and people compliment how fluent I am while I speak but they wouldn't understand the struggle. While I speak it sounds as if I sing as some will say, lol.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I started controlling my stuttering long time ago while I was still in secondary school, then I was so shy and reserved because my fellow students mimick me a lot when I don't pronounce words well, then with the stammering put together. There was this teacher that helped me. I am so grateful to him. He told me 2 things which are; 'Never get shy of talking to people, always make effort to talk to people and while at that never stutter any word'. He told me to always take a break, shut my mouth and stylishly breath-in, then continue from what I was saying. He told me that initially people will find me boring but that I shouldn't look at people's face, I should be conscious of it always and try to breathe in whenever I feel the urge to stammer.
I started this, it wasn't easy and within 1 year I noticed a lot of improvement while I was still young. My mum too asked me what happened. I continued this way till now. I still stammer but you can only notice only if you are so close to me that I speak with and to you often.
I will also add, always maintain your cool and avoid engaging in a 'heated' argument as much as possible. I notice once I join a heated argument I get tensed and I start stammering immediately. Get yourself as relaxed as posssible before you talk and always try to engage in conversation always.
Also, I noticed that I stammer a lot when I speak Igbo than when I speak English. I have not understood why yet but I am working on that now. I am trying to stylishing modify how I sound while I speak Igbo and make it sound like I am singing without sounding funny ofcourse. Lol.
In all, it takes years for he effect to start manifesting. I started controlling this like 11 years ago. So the result is not immediate, never lose hope and be consistent. Goodluck as you try.
PS: I have no time to proof-read and put the correct punctuation marks. 'Jump and pass the errors'.
Poster 1. Pls get her a speech therapist. A real one. It's a tough journey but if she's committed, & works hard at it, she'll overcome.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes
Poster 2.u comment, but not often. Hian!
ReplyDeleteHI: CHR 1. I am also a stutter but along he line i enrolled in speech therapy,i read out loud and ensure she has an ear piece, tell her to always listen to music and drink water. i cry to but my reduced. most important she should listen to music constantly and sing along with the song.
ReplyDeletePoster 1: Read d picture post stella posted after dis chronicle, ur answers are there. She should do wat she is most comfortable with. God dosent make mistakes. He kept that stuttering there, to set d boundaries for her life & help reduce he mistakes cos of too many wrong choices. Her worst problem would have being having a man, who loves her for who she is, but God has solved dat thru u; so she has no probs. Our desires are not always God's, she should seek wat God's plans for her life is, and fulfil dem. But, der is hope: Jesus is still a miracle worker. If she believe, she will receive. She needs to know Him, accept Him, trust Him, believe Him & ask Him.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: remember d adage 'wen d desirable is not available, d available becomes d desirable. Dat's exactly what Mr A is doing w u. Hope u r not givin him any cookies? Pls move on already. For Mr B, u can't conclude yet. Though confronting him was wrong. He could also be testing u. Der r still many More dates to go to; so just relax and watch. Without asking, he shld knw His financial responsibilities towards u. Date him for like 6 months, den u can conclude.
Meanwhile, don't settle down w a man who doesn't spend on u. Nah one chance be dat o.
Hmm story story..Tis well
ReplyDeleteI totally disagree with you Stella on Poster 2. He offered to take her out. He should pay or return her money. Poster, please let him be. I hate stingy guys. I give alot, most especially when people least expect because i see it as a gift from God. Whoever waters shall be watered. For your ex called Mr. H just leave him, stop taking him back, he is a time waster, i met a time waster who keeps popping in and out of my life not because he cheated, my problem was his drinking and lying, i cant stand drunks, we went back and forth till the relationship was 7years, his family lied, he lied and because of love i kept forgiving. Please move on from him, you break your heart yourself by calling it quits, you will survive, i did and am thankful to God.
ReplyDeletePoster 1.... She cant teach. She should get an office job, my boss stammers so he doesnt talk much, he is brilliant too. He owns his own organization and sends people for presentation. The head of BD stammers but very little. She should stop withdrawing, she didnt create herself. She should learn to read novels alot out loud to herself ... doing that her eyes go ahead of a sentence thereby giving her brain a bit of time before she says it out, it will help. Please keep taking her out and it should be amongst very close friends who will be patient to let her gist and she shouldnt concentrate too much on her stammering which is her vocal cords freezing. Goodluck
#thatnigerdeltagirl
I noticed that I stammer much when I speak English than when I speak igbo..l dont know y till date
ReplyDelete