STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
THE ROLE OF A VISITING IN LAW IN A HOME
Good day stella,keep up the good works.please kindly post as I urgently need advice.
I have an issue which I won't like to share with people that are close to me so that I can get good and constructive advice,without trying to be on my side .Here goes my story :
I am a stay at home mum with three kids, the eldest is three years old and the other two are twins,i was actually working before i lost my job.
Let me give you an insight into what I do daily so that you can actually feel my pain,i stay in a two bedroom bungalow and we are the only one in the compound, we have a dog which we let loose at night that means I have to clear his mess daily and wash every where with Izal because of the strong smell when he urinates.
I mop every where daily because of the kids and also do the laundry daily cos I don't like pilling up cloths.
My sister works in the state i reside so she stays with me, so she helps with clearing the kitchen and cooking breakfast for my son to take to school.
I have a brother in law an undergraduate that comes to visit us often, whenever he is around I have to cook his meal, serve him without him assisting with anything not even to help with his nephews home work.
He only wash the plate he uses to eat whenever there is no other plate in the kitchen,but whenever he sees any he'll just drop the plate unwashed.
He sleeps on the same bed with hubby cos I have to sleep with my kids in there room,they change bedspread weekly and I do the washing.
The room he sleeps with hubby,he only sweep it whenever he feels like and not daily,so it is always very untidy.
When ever he comes around he spends not less than 2 months, While I was pregnant with my twins, I do all the house chores alone. I even knee down at times to sweep while he will be there and hubby won't say anything.
So my question is can't a brother in law assist around the house? I tried discussing it with hubby and he turned it into a huge fight....please am I a trouble maker?i actually stopped preparing his breakfast two days ago, so he goes into the kitchen and cook by himself, so he stopped greeting me and even wrote one silly thing on his BBM.
Should I just leave him and pretend as if no one is around? You know people are quick to label one a bad wife without listening to your own side of the story,how can you be with us for the past three months and you can't help with anything?
I once employed a maid,that spent only one month and left, she even
masturbates while sleeping cos I have caught her so many times, so don't tell me to employ one.
*Hmmm!!!
*Hmmm!!!
Do you know madam, I don't blame the brother inlaw. I blame your husbands mother who brought him up to probably think helping out with house chores is a woman's duty. It has nothing to do with his relationship with you. I don't think he's doing it on purpose either. It was how he was brought up. He feels a woman is supposed to wait on him dag and night and do wverything for him. Anyways it's too late for him to change now. Tell your husband to speak to him though. And tell your husband to open a shop for you or something or do you like ataying home morning till night? Don't be a jobless housewife biko
ReplyDeleteKai!!!so u expect ur brother inlaw to assist u in d house chores doesnt it sound silly to d ear, if he waznt with u wont u do ur house chores just act as if he doesnt exist nd do wat u have to do.
DeleteMadam u're very selfish. U've ur own sister that stays in ur house & only what she does to help in d kitchen b4 going to work & she doesn't sweep d house & u didn't complain cuz she's ur sister. Ur brother in law came to visit temporary & sometimes sweep ur hubby's room & washes his plate after eating & I started complaining dat he doesn't help in house chores cuz he's not ur blood brother. Thank God d kind of hubby dat u've dat didn't support ur selfish act cuz he knows exactly d kind of woman he married. Do u want us to advise u to chase ur brother in out of ur house so dat ur own sister will stay with u? That's capital NO. I will advise u to always accomodate ur in-laws & accept them as ut own blood whenever they came to visit so dat u won't 've problem in ur marriage
DeletePls who have tried kaya Mata maza see kiniko oninstagram. My marital see life socks and I want to rekindle it. Pls is it effective.
DeleteGbam!
DeleteGet an elderly lady to come around and assist u with house chores and other things during the day. She doesn't have to live with u. Your pblm still won't be solved even if your brother in law helps out. How much can he do? What happens when he is not around or are you only overworked when he is around?
DeletePreach sister
Deletehave you asked him for help and he turned you down?
Deletesimple issue and u will just pack up like tokunbo television.
just tell ur son to go and meet uncle for his assignment ans nicely ask ur bro inlaw to help with dog care.
if u continue like this u will breed rancour in ur own home.
take charge woman.
Madam you see everything wrong with your brother-in-law but you sister. Women only complain of their inlaws not their own family
DeleteYou spoke my mind,i hope mothers of these days will learn how to train their male child well,it is wrong for you to tell your male child that he doesn't have to do anything very wrong
DeleteJust put 3. Dead cockroaches in his okro soup 2wice a week,delete him from bbm and stop answering his greeting.when. Hubby confronts u don't say a word:dont defend urself or accept the accusation just form sleep.bil will go in a week.thank me later.m#homeintrudersoshi. mtcheeewwwwwwwwwwwww
DeleteJust put 3 dead cockroaches in his okro soup 2wice a week,delete him from bbm and stop answering his greeting.when hubby confronts u don't say a word:dont defend urself or accept the accusation just form sleep.bil will go in a week.thank me later.m#homeintrudersoshi. mtcheeewwwwwwwwwwwww
DeletePoster, learn to be more accommodating. You didn't complain about your sister but you picked at your brother inlaw cos he isn't your blood. So if he wasn't staying with you what would you have done? You should take charge of your home whether you have an in-law or not.
DeleteYour hubby picked a fight cos you didn't handle the issue well. Show your bro-inlaw love and he will do as you want him to. To stop cooking for him isn't the solution. Tell your son to go meet his uncle to help him with his assignments and delegate other duties to him with love and see if he won't do them. Let's not make a mountain out of a mole hill. All the best.
How una dey take gbensh if he sleeps with hubby?
DeleteMadam poster if all you said are your problems then you are simply a nagging wife.. get busy with something else all that you listed as work are not really work but a lifestyle "I mop every where daily because of the kids and also do the laundry daily cos I don't like pilling up cloths.
DeleteMy sister works in the state i reside so she stays with me, so she helps with clearing the kitchen and cooking breakfast for my son to take to school" 80℅ of wives prefer the in-laws to leave them alone once the going is well. Its by the grace to grow and become a legitimate mother in-law
Two grown women cannot manage a two bedroom flat with only 3k kids. It's so interesting that those who don't have problems will always create some. Lack is no longer the problem here but how to manage what is available. Madam quit nagging n pray for more growth.
DeleteNot cooking for him is a mistake. If you want him to help you, you simply ask him nicely, not your husband.
DeletePlease I'm really tired can you help do this and that? If he refuses that's when you can take action.
Poster u dey ok so? Wetin dey d house work wey u n ur sister nor fit do? 4 goodness sakes has his coming turned d house in2 a four bedroom apartment dat is nw too big 4 u 2 maintain? Na wa 4 u sha. Nw uve stopped giving him food ur bnk account don increase? Shior!
DeleteBtw, i dont get d sleep wit hubby's part? Are u saying u abandon ur matrimonial room 4 him 2 sleep n sweep 4 as long as he stays?
DeleteMadam sleep with your husband,let your brother inlaw sleep in the living room while your sister sleep in same room with your kids. then you can have intimate time to discuss issue a with your hubby.
DeleteMadam housewife, you are a trouble maker! Shikenaa!!!
DeleteExactly, it's the mum I blame, she trained him to feel like a king.
DeleteYou seem to me like you don't just like your brother inlaw,you said he only comes ones in a while van you not judge indulge him and let him be for the love you have for your husband,afterall your own sister is living in your house and you got no problem with her.plesse don't be mean,as long as you cook for your husband,serve your brother inlaw food too.its good you sent that horny maid packing before she will try seduce your husband with the conji that is worrying her.
Delete😁 😁 comment to read ! Bonjour le mondes. Beautiful sunday in paris.
ReplyDeletePG 18
DeleteWhat is it about women of this days and common house work.very soon no guy will need a wife since all you guys do is complain about doing domestic jobs, what is so hard about cooking for your family and even cleaning the house? I don't get it. Just the way girls hate a man that can not provide, same way a man hates a woman that can no cook or clean. So you mean I will buy my wife expensive car, phones, hair, nails etc with plenty money and I don't complain, so why most she complain when it's time for her to play her own part? I have a house help and I pay her 25k a month, she cleans the house, wash my clothes, go to the market, cook and some times fuck me all for 25k o! And she is very happy with her job.i know so cos if I ask her to go she go they beg, my girl friend no every believe say I they fuck the clabar girl o! She think say I too clean to do a thing like that, but make no body blame me joor the girl toto too sweet and she get better back and front.
ASHAWO WAS 1's A VIRGIN
15:54 men like you are disgusting. You and people like you are the reason why it is difficult to trust anybody. Marry your househelp na? Who do you think you are deceiving? God cannot be mocked, the repercussions will soon come knocking. Mtcheeew
DeleteAnon 15:54 It is true you have a head but where is the brain? SMH
DeletePG18
DeleteAnn:17:14 na you holy passsss, u never do badtt thing before?
ASHAWO WAS 1's A VIRGIN
Your type doesn't need to marry. Just keep fucking maids till your destiny loss.
DeleteBy the time wey she go carry your sperm mix her menses take cook for you now. You will start crying wolf, women are demons. You think say her belle dey sweet her any time she see you and your girlfriend loving up? 25k a month she go work with her sweat and blood, yet you go sleep with her join. Kontinu.
DeleteAnon 15:54
DeleteNawa,
Everyone should have their own duty. Fine, since she's a stay at home mum, she can do such but see her heavily pregnant and still doing all that, haba.
It's the annoying brother in law that's even annoying me.
Madam Poster, how won't ur husband pick a fight with u when u have chosen to sleep wt kids over him...the sleeping arrangement in ur house is wrong...for no reason shd a couple not share the same bed...I have 3 kids too but I ve never slept out of my husband's bed...when does ur husband have opportunity to gbensh u? This kinda talk shd be talked immediately after gbensh when u have just finished formatting hubby's brain...u seem to attach importance to things that are not so important and then neglect the very important ones like regular marital sex...so move back to ur husband's room wt the twins who I assume are younger...let the older child sleep wt ur sister in the 2nd room...whenever ur bro in law comes, he will figure that there is no room for him to sleep, he may perch in the sitting room(but don't be the one to suggest it) , u simply tell ur sister and kid to retire early to bed, that way he figures the couch is his bed, if he doesn't feel comfortable he will sort himself out and stop coming...two bedroom flat is actually too small to entertain two different sets of visitors...that said, expect less from pple so u don't find urself disappointed...esp when d pple come under the name "in law". Re-arrange ur sleeping position and see ur problem solve itself automatically. Shalom!!!
Delete@13.91...u re evil in thinking... Her sister and brother inlaw who has more rights to d hux DT u want him to stop coming to his brother's hux.apart from DT evil plot d first part of ur suggestion is firm
DeleteI don't really have much to say,but I will say ,you just do the little you know you can do,continue cooking for them,since you have discuss it with your hubby and it has resulted to fight,just do the little you know you can,your brother in-law can eventually gang up with your in-law and conclude you are bad,and that might lead to serious issues,so just do the little you know you can.
ReplyDelete😁 😁 comment to read ! Bonjour le mondes. Beautiful sunday in paris.
ReplyDeleteMadam, stop creating problems where there is none. Do ur work ursef. If ppl aint around u, won't u still do ur work? And by d way, ur relationship with ur BIL needs to be changed. Start relating with him like u do with ur sister. Joke with him too n stop seeing him as an element in ur house. Be free with him, dat way u can correct him when he is wrong n he will respect u. But if u give him attitude, he'll disrespect u, n still make d family see u as bad. And by d way, 'NO GUEST' in ur house, has a right to pick up any chore. I visit my aunt who luvs me to heaven, n i do only what I feel like doing. And she doesn't complain. Infact she wants me to come more often. And i have seen her treat her in-laws d same, n they all respect her. Stop complaining abt chores madam. I'm also a woman n i do chores too.
DeleteOne question: Abeg na which kind men Una dey marry? Father Lord deliver your daughter 🙌🏽 Abeg let me leave you for wives association to give solution. The married women around me don't have or have neve had this challenge so I can't relate. Hian!!! You mean your husband shouted at you? You mean you leave your bed for another to sleep? Why can't he sleep in the living room? No respect for the woman in your marriage. Not a single one!! I'm in shock.
DeleteThe only thing I see here that is wrong is your brother inlaw sleeping in your matrimonial room,on your bed.that is so wrong,even if you have to sleep with your very young twins,that doesn't permit your brother inlaw to be sleeping on your bed.but you are wrong not to cook for your brother inlaw as well,no don't do that,you sister lives with you and you treat her good.learn to accommodate your brother inlaw even if he doesn't do any housechores,it's not his house,it's your house clean and sweep it yourself.be friendly with your brother inlaw,treat him like you are treating your own blood sister you will see that he's not all that bad.
DeleteHmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteIn this case.....the mother who gave birth to him should be blamed.
DeleteDunno y some mothers exempt their male children in simple house chores training...why? It's not only for the girls. Now this is the result.
My dear the problem is not you. It annoys me when a grown up boy is so lazy and can't keep even where he sleeps clean...am sure that ur BIL hardly wash his clothes.... Very lazy and dirty somebody.
Mothers wake up to the boy child and teach them how to be a real man not some lazy ass that believes it's the job of the woman to wipe his ass after using the toilet 🚽
Well said sister
Deletebrother in law please receive sense in Jesus name
ReplyDeleteAmen
brothers in law one day you will have your own family.
be good
it is good to be good
#remember there is karma law
Hian God where's the problem that u are looking for a solution for?
ReplyDeleteBrother in law not sister in law ooooo well I will wait to read comments.
Too bored in this city. The cold here is deadly can't wait for morrow anymore.
Ps forget Isoko mata for here. There are very scanty men from that area Abeg. Na mumu race all of una dey run for there!!! Well if the house is taking care of BIL I don't see y BIL would be so selfish not to take care of the house in turn. It is called responsibility. Stop all this if he wasn't in the house ish cuz if he wasn't in the extra work he is creating for her would not be there. Common sense.
DeletePoster help make him mature let him help himself since he is all abt himself. Sha ask him to contribute by doing certain chores first and see his willingness to or not. Take charge.Be wise about it and know this you can't please all men/women.
Marjorie
He should at least assist once in a while. It costs nothing to be courteous. He is another man who feels his brother did his sister-in-law a favour by marrying her.
DeleteUr broda in law is ur small husband, does ur own husband assist u, so watever is applicable to ur husband is applicable to ur broda inlaw. It's ur house so u are more entitled to take care of it
ReplyDeleteGo n sleep. What do u know. Lady yeye
DeleteYou're an idiot! Bladdy-fool!
DeleteWhich madness are you saying,that he is her small husband. Did she sign at the registry with both of them? Or was he the one that impregnated her. You people should stop saying crazy things. He is a bad in law. He is supposed to help in that house. Spoilt brat
DeleteA beg @ lastborn 4get that talk. Look madam u started it, and I think your horseband should be faulted here. Don't arrange the room they sleep in, let it remain like that. Do d bit u Can do. My husband was also like that, till I planed with by sister when she came visiting and fainted. Nobody told him, be4 he woke up from his slumber. Now na him sef dey sweep house, bath kids in the mornings sef. So d solution madam lies in your hands.
DeleteReally? So she should work & die. Think BIL is just wicked & has no regard for a woman. Pity his future wife!
DeleteI agree wif dis person's last statemen. Its ur house so u are more entitled to take care of it. So give him chores to do specifically or send him away abeg. This one no be chronicle
DeleteI guess am entitled to my own opinion,pls states yours and on,without been vulgar.so therefore back to sender@ Messi na u be yeye person, anon 15.35 u and ur generation na idiot and fools, anon 15.31 na U dey talk madness
DeleteYou people that believe that women are slaves dey try well well, doesn't the boy have hands to help out? Her junior for that matter. Ok he should also climb and fuck na since na the two of dem the woman marry. Bulshit!
DeleteSee your cassava brain for public ooo Last born! Abeg close mouth no be every mata small pikin dey talk put.
DeleteMy brother inlaw cannot come to my house and be king. He can't live somewhere for months and not help out. He wont be welcomed. Not even helping with the kids homework. Some men are proud.
DeleteAnd poster how in the world will u vacate ur bed for him. How can he respect you? Did u marry your kids or your husband?
Kids need attention but sleeping in their room...no. pls move back first. wheres the intimacy naaa? Once u move back to your room,the couch will be uncomfortable for him and he wont be coming to camp in your house like a homeless leech. I dont like inconvenience at alllll.
Take charge of your house and stop acting like you are the stranger there.
I don't just know what actually to say but I will say u should ignore him since he is not putting up with u pple for ever. i have a neighbour that complained same thing to me concerning his own brother in-laws and she complained to her husband that they don't help out and it caused a serious quarrel, those ones are grown up ones and are living in the same house sef with that my neighbour talk less of this one that is staying part time so just ignore him.
ReplyDeleteShe should ignore him and deletw him from BBM too. She owes her husband a duty..any other person is ancillary
DeleteShe should ignore him and deletw him from BBM too. She owes her husband a duty..any other person is ancillary
DeleteIf he was a lady I would have said otherwise but he is a man, you have to carry your cross. Try to employ another maid to ease your stress
ReplyDeletePunto!
DeleteThis is the problem, she should employ a female maid to serve him? He is a man and so what! Please let's raise our boys right
DeleteSo, a man cannot help with chores and is entitled to dirts?. I hope you don't train your boys with such mindset.
DeleteOlori contradicting yourself now. Let boys be taught responsibility and all these minor issues wouldn't have to be in marriages. Will it kill/harm him if he becomes useful to the house and himself? No!It is totally demeaning when u do things you wouldn't have someone else do to u to another.
DeleteMarjorie
Ha! House help masturbate? Na wa o!
ReplyDeleteJust ignore you brother in law.
DT got me laughing, I wish say na moi catch her,I go use my banana tear her punani tire(#####)
DeleteThe thing don hungry her badly. She no happy say no be her husband dey help the girl scratch the punani
Delete
ReplyDeleteHe sleeps on the same bed with hubby cos I have to sleep with my kids in there room,they change bedspread weekly and I do the washing.
Abeg what if una wan gbensh? ? U should ve clear that prt sha
Poster,
ReplyDeleteDo you want to kill your self with house chores?...
I'm sure you don't look your age because of the way you over work your self...
Please get a help!...
My last child is 5 years plus and i have only one help but nne,the work sometimes is too heavy for her...
My first child help out sometimes and I'm planning to employ another help soon!...I'm just taking my time so I will get the best...
Get an elderly woman that comes in the morning and leave in the evening!...
Madam,you can't do all these things alone nah except you want a disfigured waist...
Talk to your brother inlaw...if he can't be helping out,he should leave your house!...
Exactly. She need a help and also she need to talk to her brother in law in a good manner though.
DeleteN CME n leave wf u abi?I ave a pill DT enables d brain to function well,its 200k,BT for u Linda I'll gladly give u for free OK?
DeleteIs not that easy to talk to ur inlaw living with u ohhh Madam
DeleteFirst time to agree with you. 1000 likes
DeleteSo how old are you exactly? Kwaaaaaa
DeleteWow, love your reply today. These are the good things you should he saying.
DeleteBe
DeleteI'm with you on the brother in-law talking to part,it's your house,if he can't be respectful,he should move out. If only tour husband was on your side.
DeleteWell said Queen.
DeleteLinda she az no biz with her bro inlaw. She needs to discuss with her man.
DeleteAnd since she has allowed it frm day1 she must find a way around it.
You and I agree on something oh. Praise the Lord
DeleteWhatever happen to spacing your kids. Now work wan kee you. With a 3yrs Old son, you should be back on track with your life and body.. Enjoy fresh air... Driving out with him.. Let him feel loved. Before you start tasting the birthing waters. That's why you feel like a maid in your OWN DAMN HOUSE.
DeletePlease cross your legs. Thank God for the twins. What are relatives doing in your house sef. Is it a boarding house? Abeg Abeg... Just handle your home and stop waiting for them.
With Love😘
I can't believe you made sense! I really can't believe it!... I feel bad you reasoned in same line with me..
DeleteAs your house that it is na
DeleteI just hope your two bedroom workload which is a problem will be solved if you finally chase your brother in-law away? If not I'll advice you change. What u call work here are normal things most good wives do with pleasure. "If u love what you do, you'll never work for a day" it becomes hobby.
DeleteI just hope your two bedroom workload which is a problem will be solved if you finally chase your brother in-law away? If not I'll advice you change. What u call work here are normal things most good wives do with pleasure. "If u love what you do, you'll never work for a day" it becomes hobby.
DeleteAnon 17:47 what stops u too from doing it and falling in love the house chores as well. Practise what u preach OK? Some housewives ko some house husbands ni. That BIL is occupying space and if he leaves there will be more space for her period. Poster sef y your in law dey ur house? Na work him dey fine or na hiding place him dey find? He should stop sleeping in your matrimonial bed ahan!!! Is he a wizard?
DeleteEermm it's simple
ReplyDeleteIf you don't want to be tagged a bad wife, swallow your pride and ignore him. He will get married one day, who knows what fate has in store for him?
As for him entering your kitchen to cook is something i don't support, i don't think it's right. It's my opinion though..
But if you want to be taggged a bad wife, then let him cook for himself and continue to make life unbearable for him till he packs out. It's too bad that your hubby doesn't support you in this case, else it would've been easier to get rid of him.
You and your hubby should not fight or quarrel over this matter, it will not favour you at all..
He doesnt help with his nephews home work. Y not ask him too? Sometimes it's better to let things out. I see no problem here dear
ReplyDeleteWhy is your brother inlaw sleeping on your matrimonial bed when your marriage is young? Be guided!
DeleteAs for the chores, your sister can help you out during weekends. You can also employ a wash woman/man will will come weekends to wash the clothes and the premises. The bible says love those that hate you. I am not saying your Bil hates you, but if we follow the only law of Christ and show your Bil love, you will have him eating at the palm of your hands.
At Stella, na real hmmmmm... My reply remains hmmmmm....when I read some chronicles I'm like" Tha fcuk" cos my body, soul and Spirit has ZERO tolerance for bullshit.
ReplyDeleteAt Stella, na real hmmmmm... My reply remains hmmmmm....when I read some chronicles I'm like" Tha fcuk" cos my body, soul and Spirit has ZERO tolerance for bullshit.
ReplyDeleteThis is a dicey situation...pls for peace to reign,stop disturbing yourself about him.Most brother in laws behave like that and since he doesn't greet you,greet him and he will feel embarrassed.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what to say I, you should talk to your husband o,
ReplyDeleteFirst, go back to sleeping with your husband, the kids would eventually learn to stay on their own o, let the inlaw sleep in the room with them or in the sitting room
Call him to help you out sometimes, like send him on errands, if he is dumb enough not to know what to do but can eat.
I don't know where all these ppl r from,
Last week, I was strong I had to even take injections, my husband wanted calling his younger brother to come and help me out with chores, I just said no.
Even the other brother who is older than me, when he comes here, he washes his plate even when I tell him to leave it.
See, maybe you should sometimes call him and send him
You can say XYZ, please help me wash the dishes.
But nawa o, how can your hubby allow you to be sweeping at that stage? May be you should get that long broom that you wouldn't need to bend OK?
Talk to your hubby or if he wouldn't respond, send the dude to do what you need him to do.
Mschew, I have zero tolerance for nonsense and indiscipline.
"I knelt ownn to sweep" make I hear word Ma'am. Everyone is a saint on blog. What happened to long stick broom? Your In-law is wise enough to wash his own plate. My sister in-law can't allow me do that and she takes care of a bigger house alone. Your pride wont allow u ask him for help. Your husband is wiser n knows better,home management is a problem to you. If u start work the whole city will come helping..
DeleteI think the problem here borders on orientation. If a child is brought up to believe that a woman that marries into their family is a slave ( note dt in some some parts of Yoruba land, dy actually, either jokingly or otherwise, call the woman a slave) my husband assists me in rh house. His youngest brother comes around and pretends he doesn't see the broda working. Na dt one dey even vex me pass. He'll just stay in d room while his broda cuts grasses around the house or he'll be watching t.v. I serve his food and he can leave the food on the table for the next one hour b4 eating it, just so dt I wld Ave finished washing all used plates b4 he gets to the kitchen. One day, I served him food, bcos he ddnt like the meat I put, he left the food uncovered till d following morning, I told him, he shld Ave said he wasn't eating instead of wasting food, he said, he'll still eat it. I cooked in d morning and exempted him. My husband carried pot and started cooking for him. I got annoyed and started showing him attitude. I go even.carry phone dey.make fake calls and abusing him abt his laziness. He'll report me to his mother and siblings and those ones will be giving me attitude, I no send. He has since stopped coming to my house, I don't call him, though he called me recently. Summarily, the woman is not a slave and she doesn't have supernatural kilowatts of energy to work.tirelessly, so anytime, there is a chance to assist her, pls do, sh'll appreciate it.
DeleteMadam poster!I see no issue here at all.You are just creatng an un necessary problem for your self.Get busy and stop been only a house wife by then all these hickups around your house concerning who help or does not help will go out in your mind.Tell ur hubby u want to have ur own business,let him open a shop for u and when u start your business u will be so busy to even to cook for the so call brother inlaw.That's my 5cent.
ReplyDeleteYou need help in the house for all those chores, it's too much for one person na.
ReplyDeleteAs for your brother in law, he will surely reap the fruit he is sowing in your home. Shebi he will get married one day right? It's coming for him, just be patient and continue to manage till he gets his lazy arse outta your home. It's well
You should be careful with your words. This is her side of the story. If you ask her Bil, his version may be different.
DeleteThank you. I actually observe my BILs treat their mother like dia maids. So, wen dey behave like dt towards me, it doesn't pain me dt much.
DeleteAnother suggestion is to take it to your in laws and if they don't correct him,tell your pastor cos you can't fight him.
ReplyDeleteMadam its ur home i knw ur brother in law should assist on some occasions bt u cnt say bcos he doesnt then u will not give him food.
ReplyDeleteI should have said u should csll him n tlk to him one on one as u would do ur own brother before complaining to ur hubby bt since u hv already complained to ur hubby n he didnt tk it well then i advise u forget abt it. Dont complain, dont bear grudges, dont leave snide comments. Dont do anytin that may cause a prob in ur home.
If u knw the number of chores u cn actually do in a day without breaking ur bck do them, bt please eji na nri awu mmadu.
You are very lazy abeg.
ReplyDeleteJust coooking food and washing dishes for like 3 people is what you are lamenting about.
And you do that for the whole day.
What do you want the person who works from morning till evening and still come back to do all this things you are complaining about do?
Please take care of your home jare, you don't have job, so you are not bringing money home and still you can't cook and take care of just 5 people for whooping 24hrs and not that they don't go out ooo, 4hrs daily is just fine to do all this things and you have the rest to even sleep.
Women work from 8-4 here and still come back to their home responsibilities happily, abeg Park well jare.
Anon 15:19 if u are a male can u just practise all you typed up there ps? So u think guiding little children na yam? Let alone adding the rest to it. I am very sure u are like the poster BIL that to lift broom your whole strength is gone but to talk! Na so u go dey talk plenty rubbish. Talk is cheap and it is easier said than done.
Delete@ anon 15:19, 24hrs u say? So after dt 24hrs, she'll be given the next 48hrs to rest, relax and gather her strength? Dis work she does 24hrs, 7 days. No days off. Talk is cheap, try trading places with her for a week, if u'll not be admitted to the hospital.
DeleteMy dear. Do not let your happiness to by tied to anyone. Just make up your mind. If he does it, fine. If he doesn't do it, fine. Or else you will just be bitter every time he is around. Just do the work loke someone is paying you salary. Do not let chores put friction in your marriage
ReplyDeleteHmm!madam Pele o. I blame ur husband for dis. Haba
ReplyDeleteAll of you giving wrong comments, una well done. Madam, Wat relationship do you have with ur in law? It's like you've turned him to your enemy before he even arrived. Apply wisdom. When someone doesn't know what to do you tell them. Are u Yoruba? Use baba okomi to kill him. You manage him with style. You're a woman for goodness sake, use your woman senses. If you can ask him to sweep, drop one of ur babies with him and say u want to sweep. Use cutesy to tender your request. Your know how you can cajole your hubby to do things for you so you can use the say method. Ask him to help you clean after the dog. Don't do superwoman landlady. You need to know how to manage people. I hope I helped.
ReplyDeleteI am sure u did Tesa.Well done
Delete@ Tesa, as much as I appreciate it comment. I want u to know dt if u give some pple an inch, they will go kilometers. I'm talking from experience. I as a woman does not know how to do all dis petting and cajoling but I don't disrespect them. I face facts and don't hide my feelings, even with my MIL. Woman sef din suffer, u go pamper husband, your children, BILS, SIL,MIL,FIL, MIL's sublings(those ones too want to come and stay in my house o) BIL's friends e.t.c who pampers the woman? Na wah o.
DeleteMy class mate was murdered in cold blood by her brother in law in front of her children because of this kind of in -law tension. Your husband had better resolve this issue. If he is helpful then his relatives will be helpful.
ReplyDeleteI would have agreed with this your comment but I dey fear anonymouses now 😂😂
DeleteSo, you want your brother in-law to start cleaning your home and also assist in the kitchen?
ReplyDeleteThere is no big deal in what you do daily! Your sister should be the one giving you a helping hand.
Did your kid asked him to help out with his homework and he refused?
Did you asked him while you were pregnant to help you to clean or boil rice, and he refused?
He only comes to your home once in awhile, and you want to turn him to your househelp.
So, you stopped giving him breakfast because he doesn't clean the room he sleeps in with your husband, you have just given him opportunity to operate in your kitchen the way he likes.
While should anyone leave their plate after eating, my rule is; after eating, you wash your plate(s), except if I'm hosting few people that's when I'll put used plates in the dishwasher.
Madam poster, is either you let your brother in-law be, or talk to him about not cleaning the room he sleeps in.
Do the house chores you can, if you can't take care of your dog, give it away.
Don't create problems for yourself where there's none.
Well said... I totally agree
DeleteU didn't mention how old the younger brother is. My only advice is that you should get a job, something that takes you out of the house.
ReplyDelete👍
DeleteGet a help that comes in the morning and leaves in the evening. Also get your husband to help around the house. When he starts the kid brother won't have any choice but to join in.
ReplyDeleteUr husband should hv bin d one to help u in dis matter but he is not ohhhh. Men with their people..... well, I feel ur pain ohhh. Thank God he would soon leave only that I dnt buy that idea of him n ur husband on same bed.... den, u re now married to ur kids.... that ur husband's brother... u would hv try to inconvenience him by him sleeping in d parlour while u sleep in d room with ur husband. No husband brother can separate me n my husband dis way... lie lie. Pls, oh yea husband's brother n sister hold ur peace ohhhhhhh
ReplyDeleteI feel sorry for any inlaw who tries me.i will respect you,even my junior and tell u im sorry even if I'm not at fault,but when I serve you food better look under you eba,grounded cockroach will be waiting,i'l still kneel down to say sorry,but u don chop am.nonsence ppl
DeleteI feel sorry for any inlaw who tries me.i will respect you,even my junior and tell u im sorry even if I'm not at fault,but when I serve you food better look under your eba,grounded cockroach will be waiting,i'l still kneel down to say sorry,but u don chop am.nonsence ppl
DeleteMy dear, I know that no one can displace me from matrimonial bed. My pastor says it's on that bed that couples sort out issues. When you don't sleep together it creates room for even more tension. If you had this as pillow talk with hubby it won't escalate into a quarrel. It would have been after tension has been eased at night. Mere fact that you're not sleeping on the same bed and hubby doesn't see a problem with it is a problem to me. That guy should have a mattress with which he sleeps in the parlour. Children in their room and hubby and you in your room. That way he knows his place. How can he take instructions when he's taking your bed space? I'm shocked. Honestly. If you are in the children's room because say one has a fever at night, the bed space remains empty until you return. No negotiation.
DeletePerson climb my matrimonial bed? God of mercy. Even my matrimonial room is out of bounds. I go dey clean am myself.
Enter your comment...D truth b told u just have 2 sweep d other room once in a while since ur husband is sleeping there,ask ur self if he's ur husband senior bro how would u treat him, as far u don't wash is cloth or him telling u madam cook so so n so, if he's not around won't u cook or cleen ur house just 4get about him
ReplyDeletePlease I am tired of men. They see an extremely beautiful girl and all they want to do is fuck. Ask for money and they'll stop picking calls and replying messages. I'm dating a rich guy but we haven't fucked yet so I don't know how to ask him for money. I really need money. I don't mind doing runs, just not 20k runs. Haba! How do they think I look like this? 20k alone can't even transport me. How do I stop forming Miss Independent? Advice me please??????
ReplyDeleteI pity your children
DeleteAnon 15:36 It ought to be a thing of self accomplishment if u are miss independent but that doesn't mean that you can do without people around u. If you already have a means of livelihood practise contentment and spend within ur means make savings for a future . and if you are already tired with where u are then up your game but not the RUNS way it will take more from u than u can get from it. Build on a solid foundation and not on quicksand. Jesus can help you.
DeleteMarjorie
I blame your hubby! Sleeps on the same bed as your hubby? Why? I am having a headache already.....don't start what you can't finish dear women.
ReplyDeleteI don't get he sleeps with your hubby while you sleep with the kids..damn inconveniencing already! Well,call him aside and talk to him politely,if he can't reason with you,he should either leave or change hands for him to make him find his square root by himself
ReplyDeletePlease keep being 'nice' to him while neglecting him. And use scope to send him on errands eg bros please help me with the dog while I make breakfast. Or laundry esp if you use Washing machine. All you have to do is feed him and not be too jovial. Plus if you get your hubby to assist his brain Will reset.
ReplyDeletePlease keep being 'nice' to him while neglecting him. And use scope to send him on errands eg bros please help me with the dog while I make breakfast. Or laundry esp if you use Washing machine. All you have to do is feed him and not be too jovial. Plus if you get your hubby to assist his brain Will reset.
ReplyDeleteA lot off men have this useless sense of entitlement. I had many cousins who felt as girls we should serve them. Trust me to stop serving them food, making sure they do chores, and making sure I wasn't treated as a lesser being cos I am "female". My mum always thought me to stand up for my rights... it only earned me the names "wicked, witch, boy in girl's body, tough etc. I am the most hated cousin atm but that doesn't matter, what matters is no one takes me for a ride.
ReplyDeleteMadam, if that boy can't sweep d house, help in d kitchen and with d kids homework, he has no business being there. Deprive him of FOOD if he doesn't help in d kitchen when he can, serve him in his dirty dish if he drops it, and allow the bed sheet to smell since you husband permits it. When You were born they didn't spell "suffer" on you forehead!!!
Lol @ masturbate while sleeping.
ReplyDeleteYou see y it is good to discuss all of these b4 marriage.
1st tin 1st we don't know weda u are older Dan ur bro inlaw.
But I tink u really need to relax n try not to mk enemies with ur inlaws.
The person u having ish with is a guy n dis shld be to ur adv, as opposed to a female.
1. Chain ur dog at night till its Potty trained to a particular portion of ur compd....save ur sef dis trouble since its stressing u.
2. If u can wake to prep ur sons breakfast madam it wld take u nothing to prep smthg for dis youngman...u shld man ur kitchen.
3. Dunno y plate washing they hard una.for crying out loud u ain't working, use it to while time, n stop stressing ursef abt what time its done.pile it up neatly after removing d debris.
4. Get a washing machine. N try to train ur kids to do dia homework, den oversee it afterwards.
The only prob here is u ain't sleeping with ur hubby on d same bed. I don't like dat arrangement. Get a bigger place. Or do mushy mushy with ur hubby till ur bro inlaw finds himself sleeping in d palor daily.
Your sister that is staying with you is her help not enough??? Madam go and get a maid, it is you that don't masturbate abi???? I won't talk till I hear from your brother in law cuz I'm sure that boy tries but you ain't still satisfied since he's not your brother.... And yes you are very wicked
ReplyDeleteYour sister that is staying with you is her help not enough??? Madam go and get a maid, it is you that don't masturbate abi???? I won't talk till I hear from your brother in law cuz I'm sure that boy tries but you ain't still satisfied since he's not your brother.... And yes you are very wicked
ReplyDeleteYour sister that is staying with you is her help not enough??? Madam go and get a maid, it is you that don't masturbate abi???? I won't talk till I hear from your brother in law cuz I'm sure that boy tries but you ain't still satisfied since he's not your brother.... And yes you are very wicked
ReplyDeleteYou still have to talk to your husband about his brother, or get another maid that comes 7am and close by 7pm on the same day
ReplyDeletePoster, why complain? I'm sure before and a few years after marriage you were doing all these with glee. He's a dude and your brother in law. Apart from that, he's not obliged to assist you only if he wants to.
ReplyDeleteCome to think of it, I doubt if you are friends with him. For a change, gist with him. When you are in the kitchen, make una dey gist too and he will definitely assist you. When your child has homework, crack jokes and ask your bro in law to assist cos your brain is getting rusty. Or don't you have sense of humour?
Change your mind set and Remove all negativity, so you don't harbour hate 4 him. Even my kid brother doesn't assist me when I'm in the kitchen.
Lots of Brother in laws are like that. Please, try and get another help. Cos the house chores will continually leave you bitter.
ReplyDeleteThough am not yet married but let me tell you how my mum did it, she doesn't complain but sees him as one of her children, there is this way u can actually give him respect n then send him on errands, like "bro kunle Pls help me carry junior to school I want to clean the house before you come" am sure he will not say no,so gradually you guys will get along well and don't forget to smile while doing so. You will have to do like a monkey to catch one, I wish you best of luck.
ReplyDeleteZee
I argree
DeletePoster well done, don't let your BILL start insulting you in your own house...take it easy and ignore her. If the work is much employ a house help.
ReplyDeleteChaii may the Lord strengthen you dear, ingnore the He-goat biko, and do what u can and leave the rest, hope nah washing machine u dey do landary oo to Eraser your stress.. Pele dear...
ReplyDeleteDo your thing and pretend no brother inlaw lives with you ,is easy as ABCD.IF he isnt in your home your husband will still sleep in that room so just do your thing .
ReplyDeleteLmao!
DeleteHow can she pretend when his mess is adding to her stress. It is difficult.😀
I was raised to know that every adult should be able to contribute positively anywhere they are.
These days kids even help out.
I have a problem with people lazing about while serious work goes on around them.. they are not only insensitive, but "wukid" LOL
If that boy was raised right, he will never allow this woman clean the dog house or bath the dog.. no matter how bad their rship is. It comes naturally.
Well Madam, go back and have that talk again with your hubby.
State the problem and the reasons you have. It is even for the boy's own good. No knowledge is wasted.
Share chores at home, let him do some!!
If it is not in him like "peak"... he must adopt it artificially.
I think you should get another maid, but u have to ignore him because to me it seems like he is a lazy chap, and u said ur hubby didn't support u wen u told him, so just leave him alone
ReplyDeleteYour matrimonial home is your responsibility, i see no reason why he cant help you sometimes but mind you it is never his responsibility. And why should you expect him to help you clean your master bedroom, cause he sleeps there with hubby? NO nah!! If you can clean d dog feaces, cook, wash bedsheet weekly, mop everyday etc, i see no reason why you cant do those other little things you expect him to do. Just know he is not gonna stay with you forever and the way you treat him the little time he stays determines the way he will treat you forever. You dont have to apologise for not giving him food two days in a row presently but madam as soon as you wake up tomorrow prepare his breakfast along with yours. Remember, he is your childrens uncle now and forever, love him for that because you dont know the part he will play in your childrens future.
ReplyDeleteYou nailed it,if he can't help out since he doesn't work, then he shud leave the house.ur husband shud know better biko!
ReplyDeletei went thru d same issue in my first marriage and it is also happening in my second marriage d advice i will give is dat pls continue doing what u can do, give him food when u cook pretend dat he is not there God will give u the wisdom to keep ur home. Urs is still better at least he is ur BIL right now I am dealing with my step sons.Ido my chores myself all they do is to eat and sleep i just pretend they are not there and i do my chores myself and i work so my dear d lord is ur strenght keep on doing what u do it is ur home
ReplyDeleteHow can your brother in law not assist with house help,mtcheew. I don't even like stay in-laws
ReplyDeleteIts horrible being married into some kind of families.....these ones obviously believe that women are lesser beings and should do everything domestics themselves....your husband is like the typical african male....many of them have been raised to believe they have to be waited on hands and foot.
ReplyDeleteI wife should sleep with her husband should she not? Start praying that the Lord shall provide a job for this young man out of town . You also need to be assertive....its your home and no one has the right to come and make you uncomfortable in there....
But frankly you will need to be wise in handling this issue lest it spirals out of control.
I seriously feel for you.....with a husband who cant stand up for you ....its a horrible set up....some men and some kind of families are not worth the trouble of answering mrs at all.....
My hubby told me abt his family before we got married that the boys in their home have no business with house chores..i have to force him to help out at home because its not his thing..so i wasn't surprised when my BIL came to stay with us for a while and wont lift a finger to help out..he's way younger than me sef..it can be annoying sometimes because even if a guy doesnt cook or wash plates..he can at least clean the room he stays..but if thats how they were raised you have to accept it for peace to reign and try to do your chores yourself..once you allow sentiments and anger to come in,you may trigger something that will blow up in your face by your inlaws..if he wasn't there you will still clean your house..I dont even know why you will leave your bed and sleep with your kids it's weird..if there is no space he should sleep in the sitting room
ReplyDeleteI want to justify u but something in me seems u might be a difficult person judging from u not cooking for him to eat nd ur statement about a masturbating maid. What happened to you asking him nicely to help you out with some chores. like Bolu please can u assist me do ABC. IF he refuses then you can be justified some people need to be told nd they will not refuse. But u jumping to stop giving him food ur in law to me gives me bad vibes abt u dts my take
ReplyDeleteI think you should get a nanny who comes every day to clean up and help. Forget getting him to help since your husband disagrees with you.
ReplyDeleteJust ignore till he leaves for school and don't raise the issue anymore.
Dilemma situation......
ReplyDeleteWhat chore does your husband do? If he doesn't do any, don't expect your BIL to do any too. Their mother did not train them well.
ReplyDeleteJust ensure you train your own boys better.
These r som of d tins u iron out b4 wedding/marriage. My boo already told me he doesn't want a maid in his house, no p, he has agreed we sharing d house chores. I can't be sweeping wit heavy pregg n my hubby cannot say 'bring the broom', haba, impossicant, nah 2 of us get d pikin o. He already told himsef dt d 1st tin he wil buy is washing machine. Plus he knows i dont like crowd, i av rung dt severally in his ear, pls if he his nt okay wit it, he shud look for anoda geh, he his nt doing me a favour. Itz high time women placed a huge value on 'themselves' (pardon my grammer). I know my worth, nobody can rub me wit shit. Poster, ur BIL attitude stems frm his upbringing of wc u can see it in ur hubby since even ur hubby cant collect d broom frm u, it is called home training buh som mothers train d girls only and leave d boys to play PES. So just keep dt ur BIL one side like a god dt u put palm-oil and shinapp on, dt can neither talk, see, hear nor eat. Yes. meaning IGNORE HIM! IGNORE HIM n cook his food o. i know it wont be easy buh dts d solution.
ReplyDeleteLmfao! This is damn hilarious!
DeleteMadam stop your inlaw from sleeping with your hubby. He should sleep in the parlour or sitting room. What nonsense.
ReplyDeletePretend he does not exist and don't make his stay comfortable. He is a foolish boy. Ur husband is Itibolibo
Hahahahahaha...
DeleteLove me jeje don vex!...
People sleeping in the sitting room is so gross!...
I hate that shit!...
He should keep a mattres and sleep there. Linda ire better than staying on the matrimonial bed. Ahn Ahn! That's the problem to me oh. It's a huge problem.
DeleteLovemejeje: Advice on point but the adjectives just burst my belle wiv laughter.
DeleteMarjorie
Madam ! He doesn't live with u permamantly so continue doing the house chores and cooking and stop complaining ! I don't know why u stoped making his food ? That's wrong and 2wrongs don't make a right ! Do u like it as he has stoped greeting u now ! U don't need the uncesarry drama Abeg ! Stop complaining and leave him be ! Shey one day he will marry also and then he will realize , or maybe if u had a good friendship with him u can plead with him to assist u around the house , and trust me he will gladly do it
ReplyDeleteSo you leave your matrimonial bed for your brother In-law to sleep in while you sleep in the other room with the kids. Hmmmmmmmm. Your brother inlaw is feels like a king in your home cos he sleeps on your bed with your husband!... How about he takes the other room during the time he comes visiting while you and the kids sleep together with hubby. Put that small under graduate in his place by first reclaiming your bed. That should send a message. Wtf!
ReplyDeleteIn the meantime, get a help. Not all helps masturbate. Getting a help will require vigilance as well cos the rate of child molestation in on the increase.
There is no award for any woman that does house chores by herself, so please stop over working yourself.
..and hey, watch that brother In-law of yours when he is around your kids cos I don't trust anyone!
No one trusts you too
DeleteI agree. U have to watch him around your kids. Thats why i dont agree with people that said the guy should stay in your kids room. Can lack of sex kill? I dont even leave my kids to stay with any uncle, aunty or brother-inlaw all alone. The world is changing.
DeleteFor me i won't expect my brother in law to do chores in my house except washing cars and fetching water .
ReplyDeleteMadam. Let me get one thing out of the way - there is no special.place in heaven for the woman that suffered the most doing house chores! None!
ReplyDeleteSecondly, I blame your MIL for the way he brought up his children. From your narrative, it is obvious your husband doesn't help out at home at all. He leaves everything to you.
Truth is, if he did, your brother in-law would because he would see his bro doing one thing or the other and would know, without being told that he should.
Also, I see you don't take your BIL like your brother. Mine knows that its how I treat my bro that I treat his bro, so that love is obvious and he reciprocates accordingly. There's a way you can get him to do stuff by being close to him, smile with him, gist with him, send him to do stuff like call him to help the nephew with his homework etc. Its your place to set the tone
Finally, this is your home, everyone else is passing through. Do the best you can and don't wait for anyone yo do anything for you. But like I said at the begin ning, don't kill yourself with work. Do what you can, there's always the next day..otherwise, you will grow old and shriveled and oga will be wondering where the chic he married went to.
Oh , on a final note..it is odd that your hubby sleeps with the brother..for why😀 pls stop that immediately. Even if you have a thousand kids, if they must sleep with you, then your hubby must be sleep there too. The kids can sleep.on the bed while you and hubby keep a mattress on the floor and sleep there or somethin . I don't know. Na only you get the kids, why take care of them alone? Most importantly, so you cannot have pillow talk with your husband. No midnight romping..
only in Nigeria...Inlaws always acting like small gods.
ReplyDeletein my own case, my husband doesnt help with chores and he expected me to be doing his laundry when i also have two toddlers to care for, complete man o, not handicap o. all he know how to do is pressing phone when he is at home.
i told him he bluntly told him i aint doing shit! my dear ignore and employ another maid, because one masturbates doesn't imply there are no good ones out there.
First of all, I don't know why u shud be sleeping in a separate room from ur hubby. I would advise u move back to ur room, let ur sister sleep with ur older child and ur brother inlaw sleep in da living room. Cos u can't have him sleeping in da same room with ur sister. Den pls set some ground rules for ur kitchen. U and only U shud give permission to whoever will "cook" inside. If ur husband loves his brother so much den let him rent 3 bedroom apartment for peace to reign. Are u Idoma? Cos dats our trademark!!! I had a "cousin in law" how has spent almost 7 years in my matrimonial home, all he does is sleep from morning till evening, bath for 10 hours and colonize the dstv remote control till 3am. I became a Bad wife d day I advise him to go get something doing cos he's wasting his life like dat, no job no school no future prospect. Dey sed I stylishly drove him from d house and he left 3 days after dat conversation. Up till now my darling husband have not even asked what transpired between us nor offer any explanations as to his absence.
ReplyDeleteDon't try to please anyone just be comfortable and in control in ur home. I tried being a "Good & accommodating wife" and learned da hard way. Now am da queen and boss of my home.
I hate people sleeping in the sitting room!...
DeleteJust be you,no matter how hard I tried for my in-laws,they still manipulate me,just maybe cos my hubby is the bread winner in their famiky,so they see me as a threat,now I am mee,love me or hate ,I will be me,i won't do u bad,but u there not mess with me,even infront of hubby I will give u a piece of hot tea
DeleteMadam ur own case is small. I stay with my elder sis and her husband .June this year her husband brought his nephew from the village to stay with them. This guy thinks he's a demi god, does nothing in the house, eats like a horse, very dirty, gambles,rude, even when u ask him to do little chores in the house he won't do it. All he does is drug himself to sleep and drink alcohol( money that he steals oo) he can thief for Africa and still my sister's hubby turns a blind eye to all these. My prayer to God is to give me a wise man for a partner,a man that listens to his wife because each time my sister complains it will turn into a fight.
ReplyDeleteAbi d man wan punish u and him wife and no wan una to dey comfortable? Looool.
DeleteMy God knows that I can never tolerate such in ma home. Whether he doesn't do chores at home is his fucking business and such shouldn't happen in ma house. For the fact you r staying with me,u dare not try such with me. Why wouldn't an adult not know what to do and is waiting for me to tell him? Both he n ma hubby will really get it hot with me cos am not his maid.
DeletePlease enough of him sleeping in ur matrimonial room... He should go sleep in d parlour. I said so cos he can't even take care of ur kids if u say let him stay in their room,like waking them up to go to the loo at night n d rest. Since he's not useful at home,he will only visit n go back home. After all there's no space for him in d house. Mtchew
I think the best thing to do in this situation is to ignore your brother in-law's presence.Just see it as though he is not around, this will save you a lot of stress and you need to stop drawing your husband's attention to his brother's behavior. He sees it and probably doesn't want to chastise his brother's behavior.
ReplyDeleteYou shouldn't have even stopped preparing his meals, you are giving him an edge by allowing him into your kitchen and no you can't frown at him going to cook for himself considering the fact that you never gave him food.
I know how it feels, I know it may be tiring sometimes but you just have to do the little chores you can without expecting any form of help from him.Just bear this, it will only be for a while, your brother-in-law won't be with you forever.
Do not let this create misunderstanding between you and your husband,handle it wisely.
I have just one response for you. How would you feel if your hubby becomes irritated by your kid sister's presence & begins to monitor her weaknesses & faults? Some of you just create problems in your homes with your nonsense over protectiveness. What would you have done if the said subject, was your kid brother? Would you stop cooking for him?
ReplyDeleteMadam yu better face ur family hissing so yu expect him to work has how na I go to my brother house I eat as I like enjoy my bro wife will go to work prepared our food with out involving d maid guess yu jst being lazy dis one is not chroniccle Una go jst get small problem run wrote na wa oo
ReplyDeleteMadam yu better face ur family hissing so yu expect him to work has how na I go to my brother house I eat as I like enjoy my bro wife will go to work prepared our food with out involving d maid guess yu jst being lazy dis one is not chroniccle Una go jst get small problem run wrote na wa oo
ReplyDeleteAbeg mothers in this our generation have a lot of work to do on their male children. Most of the men of today have a twisted orientation and are sooooo lazy.
ReplyDeletePoster, do what you can with the help of your sister. Your husband is not helping matters
http://cashjob.online/?ref=66076
Poster,I forget to add that you should locate your husband's Mumu button and press so he can send that his brother away!...
ReplyDeleteUse your God given strength as a woman nah...
How old is ur brother in law?if he's older than u there re things u shouldn't ask him to do eg sweeping since ur younger sister is there.if u re friendly wit him he should be helping u on certain chorus bt maybe u re doing madam for him.pls accommodate ur in law n accord respect.pls live peacefully wit him now bcos nobody knows tomorrow.let him be ur ally
ReplyDeleteGham
ReplyDeleteShe is a wicked wife, her sister can live with them but her BIL can't . WICKED WIFE!
ReplyDeleteThe Bil and the poster should use their common sense.
ReplyDeleteMadam but you are a house wife. this is actually your job. if someone else is doing it what will you be doing? as a house wife my dear you are even supposed to be able to help wiyh your children's assigmement by yourself. People work 9-5 my dear your own is at home. Get into a routine. And why are you washing clothes every day? YOU will be old before your time. move back into your hubby room you are creating a riftnbetween you guys by sleeping apart. let your children sleep in the other room with your sister.if twins are too little put their foam in you and hubby room. Brother in law should sleep in the parlour on foam. (He is a man) buy a washing machine if you don't have only 30k
ReplyDeleteThank God for d kind of hubby i hv bikonu... How wl my bro inlaw be in d house and i wl be sweeping and cleaning compound wv pregnancy... Hian. I need not say anythng, he wl gv dem chores biko. and i dont undastand y yhr bro in law wl be sleeping wv yhr hubby... Hmmmnnn...
ReplyDeletePoster my brother once visited me. He doesn't pick a pin. We quarrelled all the time. I told him to wash his plates, clean the house and help around the house but he refused. Whenever we quarrelled, my hubby will just be laughing saying he Thanks God it's not his brother. After some time I just tire and freed him. I will just do all the chores. Just free ur in-law okay? Kisses
ReplyDeleteTry reclaim your room when he leaves. Make your hubby happy and he'd give you 100% support.
ReplyDeleteEmploy someone that will come in the morning and leaves in the evening.
Madam sorry cos i know the stress involved in taking care of 3kids and your household but don't deny your brother in law food just ignore him, Even your husband is supposed to assist you when ever he's around. Chores are not meant for women alone period. All you single ladies keep insulting her until you are in her shoes. Mtchwwm
ReplyDeleteI am very sure that your brother in law is Yoruba. The way they treat wives in that tribe is so disgusting. Seeing a full grown woman as one who should serve a younger person all in the name of being a wife. Mtcheeeew
ReplyDelete