STAND ALONE NARRATIVE.
JOBLESS,PREGNANT AND LOOKING TO TERMINATE....
JOBLESS,PREGNANT AND LOOKING TO TERMINATE....
Good day Stella,
I am sorry if this mail is coming in late, pls I need urgent advice as I am in a confused state reason am sending this in as a chronicle. I am a young lady who will be passing out from NYSC 4th of Nov, 2016 and wedding date is fixed for 19th of Nov, 2016.
My problem is that hubby was laid off from the construction company he works with as an Engineer at the end of September, I am 7 weeks gone already Stella I am afraid, I don't know how soon either of us will locate another job knowing how things are in this country. I have been thinking maybe we should call off the wedding and I terminate this pregnancy(God forgives me, apologies to everyone TTC)
My problem is that hubby was laid off from the construction company he works with as an Engineer at the end of September, I am 7 weeks gone already Stella I am afraid, I don't know how soon either of us will locate another job knowing how things are in this country. I have been thinking maybe we should call off the wedding and I terminate this pregnancy(God forgives me, apologies to everyone TTC)
collect the money we use to book for hall and catering services back plus other money we are suppose to use to buy things to start up a small business with it or go ahead with the wedding and terminate this baby then we can still hold on till we are ready to take care of a child because I don't know what else to think.
The news of this pregnancy has brought so much joy and much love to my relationship and hubby to be already has a name for it but how can I bring a child forth to hardship.
Hubby to be is taking care most of the wedding things except for the little savings during my NYSC, there's is nothing to fall back on after the wedding, please I need advice because I want to discuss it with him though I know he won't take it lightly but I am afraid.
I don't know how my parents and in laws will take the news though they are not aware about the pregnancy but I think they should understand. From previous chronicles and how finance issue strain marriages I don't want to take such risk bvs please say something, won't hubby even think I am only in for the good times but God knows I love him and I want to settle down too after series of disappointment and finally finding someone who adores me this but won't just go away.
We have prayed and still praying I don't know what else to do or we should just go ahead with it in faith and hope for the best.
Forgive any typos, I will be reading comments.
*WHAT ARE YOU TALKING BOUT?ABORTION?
ARE YOU CRAZY? YOU DEY CRASE?
Reduce the cost of the wedding,postpone it if you like but God forbid that you touch that child,please!!!!
*WHAT ARE YOU TALKING BOUT?ABORTION?
ARE YOU CRAZY? YOU DEY CRASE?
Reduce the cost of the wedding,postpone it if you like but God forbid that you touch that child,please!!!!
Pissed off as well.. Mschew
ReplyDeleteWhy can't you have a small wedding! Probably court and a reception where u share food there?
DeleteIf u know how people would kill to have the fruit of the womb. You are here saying rubbish.
I'm angry self, because of wedding u want to abort ur baby! You r on own sef.... Abi u want to beg
This story sounds like my cousin's soon to be wife but he is not an Engineer so make I park.
DeletePoster don't worry, God is a miracle working God. He will send you helper.
DeleteShalom
Ok let me perch here:
DeletePoster hold both ears; the deed has already be done, the problem is people look for quick fixes in times of trouble and in this case abortion seem the easiest option you can think of.
Now let me teach you how you can have a recession Friendly wedding.
*first of all tell your parents and parents in-law of your state
*have a quiet trad wedding in ur father's palour.no need to buy new clothes or buy alow cost fabric and sew
*qietly go the a local registry near you and sign the dotted lines and go to ur hubby'shouse.
Now listen and listen good, will you continue to 'kill' all. Your children cos of one silly reason like the one you have up there? Who needs a9-5 when there are smart soft works people can do to gain. financial freedom...
Bottom line no touch that pikin o
Poster, pls have a small wedding and leave the baby alone.
DeletePlease nau, fear God. You have already fornicated now you want to commit murder!
You will answer for all this ooo!
Good afternoon poster. I'm of the opinion that you're a liar. The way you're going for the baby and the wedding makes me think you've found someone else and that you want to run. Who thinks like this? If you're not lying then your mentality is wired. Your to be hubby should be the one leaving you and calling off the wedding.
DeleteThe way she's calm about commiting murder baffles me
DeleteHi dear. Pls reduce the expenses for the wedding drastically, that is, if is important for you to go ahead with the wedding (Faith). Is not by force you do a big wedding (My younger brother is having his wedding soon, no party, no caterer, both the traditional and Church wedding same venue, takeaway package for the invitee) Please, leave the baby!
DeleteTo terminate they hungry joor that's how I see the matter you already have the idea of how to raise money so how is the termination take enter now
DeleteThe ttc prayer is powerful. I am not yet married, but I am engaged , so I decided to start praying these prayers, if you know what God has revealed to me en.
DeleteJust Last night I dreamt that a pastor was telling me I will give Birth nov 4th next year. It's just like the way he showed me who my husband before we met.
Alero
Ist time I am commenting on a chronicle. My dear poster,pls don't abort your baby. Recession is just a word! You d'd be surprised that when you eventually birth your child,things will turn around. Have faith and bear in mind that tomorrow will definately take care of itself okay?!what will you now say of these hausa beggers you see at every corner with plenty children,have you ever imagined how they cope with their battalion?c'mon dear think twice biko,abortion should be the very last thing on your mind hun.wish you a HML
DeleteDont abort that baby, just collect the money back, start the business and take care of the family. If a poor man can do it, you can too. And besides, you can get married after everything falls into the right place.
DeleteI know someone who terminated cos of wedding is and till now, she's not been able to conceive. U think its easy to conceive right? U feel U can play GOD in the life of a child right? What if ur womb gets bad as a result? U re really very stupid if U try killing that child and whatever U see after that, take it!
DeleteHonestly @chi. I just read this her story one more time and I am just so so hurt. Thank God you are a lady so I can assume not every lady thinks like this. And the worse part of the matter is she doesn't even see she's the liabilty here.
DeleteBeggars*
DeleteI had a baby which when I got pregnant the only thing I could think of was abort we were both jobless but now am ttc with 2 miscarriages and a death of a baby think twice sometimes money is not all about it
DeleteIm sure the next IHN will ve a content like 50k 4 d chronicle poster who wants 2 abort. Yimmu!
DeleteChi shut your stupid mouth....people have done this and yes some have even gone on to have kids....I hate when u just assume somebody is lying when u don't have the facts....she they are anonymous what is the lies for? Mschweeeeeeeeew
DeletePoster don't abort.....plan a small wedding. Tell your folks so they understand the need to make it small...then again if not cos most people want to impress others why not just go to the registry jeje....who u owe anything? Do u know if that pregnancy is the only one God has assigned to you? If stark illiterates are managing how about u who has an education? I will not judge you cos a lot of them here making mouth have aborted before, but truth be told you are getting married so u have no excuse
Poster better leave that baby. You don't know, this chikd might just come along with good luck and favour and everything will fall into place
ReplyDeleteYou can cancel all arrangements concerning the wedding, use the money for your child. You both can just have a court wedding for now, since it's not expensive. Please do not abort that baby cause when you have all the money in the world it may never come back plus children are blessings they really do open doors, when I was pregnant for my second child hubby lost his job and I prayed to God concerning it and a month before I had my baby he got a better paying job so please ask God for forgiveness and trust in Him. It is well.
DeleteMy dear pls don't touch that baby. The blessings of the Lord maketh rich and adds no sorrow. You never know what would happen tomorrow hubby may just get something better.
DeleteThis is the end of October and you want to call of wedding for 2nd week of November. Is it that you haven't paid for the venue, caterer, wedding dress, bridal train dress, tuxedos for the groom and groom's men, souvenirs etc before now? From what i know these things are paid for and booked months ahead. And as for your husband to be, wasn't he saving while he was working? How can you even consider terminating the pregnancy before consulting with him? Pls talk to him.It's too early to stop communicating. I hate it when I see people who know they aren't financially capable of raising kids giving birth like rabbits cos I feel they are being inconsiderate but your case is different. A new job might be around the corner.
DeleteWho asked you to carry belle before wedding? Is that the right thing to do? Abeg gerraway with your cross and stupid questions. You better dont touch that innocent child. hissss
DeleteYou can cancel all arrangements concerning the wedding, use the money for your child. You both can just have a court wedding for now, since it's not expensive. Please do not abort that baby cause when you have all the money in the world it may never come back plus children are blessings they really do open doors, when I was pregnant for my second child hubby lost his job and I prayed to God concerning it and a month before I had my baby he got a better paying job so please ask God for forgiveness and trust in Him. It is well.
DeleteMama Africa, na d name my hubby gave to my first baby girl.lol,ur mouth no good oo
DeleteSome people are there looking for kids u u are pregnant u want to terminate it because of elaborative wedding,
DeleteWhat if u terminate that pregnancy and u do the elaborative wedding and u can't get pregnant again, u will now say is witches nonsense you are crazy
Even if the Child has no one single luck in it(Not possible) but Yoruba's will say sey Ori bibe ni Ogun ori fi fo? Abi kpala kpala wo na em I just read? May you abort pikin? Something as terible as murder is what you are talking about without any remorse nor fear of man let alone God. Obviously this girl, you have aborted before so now the problem is the husby actually wants this baby so you brought it up here so that you can be justified in your evil. You need a lot of growing up to do. That means the next guy comes and gets you angry after marrage you abort his child and justisfy it, when you were pissing me off nko, if you don't wake up ehn, the evil that you want to use your hand to attract is worse than anything ever imagined.
DeleteTerminating the pregnancy and wedding are no options, so fashi that side. You can try to reduce cost in other ways and believe it or not, their are still jobs/ legit ways to make money. God be with you as you make the best decision
ReplyDeletePoster terminate what? Say no more! Are you a Christian? Do you believe in God? Do you know special blessings comes with marriage? Don't you trust God? My dear, take Stella's advice,postpone the wedding if you like, cancel the wedding sef but please spare that baby's life.God would do what He knows how to do best. Be hopeful.
DeleteDo whatever you wanna do, but dont touch that baby.
DeleteHubby or hubby to be, is not complaining.
ReplyDeleteHe is aware and hasn't told you to take out the baby. Why didn't you think of all this when you were having sex or did the condom break?
If you didn't have a man accepting responsibility I would have said have an abortion but that is not your case.
Postpone the wedding if you must or go ahead and do registry, get a pastor to bless your wedding while you keep searching.
After all they say,babies and weddings bring special blessings.
Who knows maybe after all this God will bless you with good jobs.
Do not have an abortion. No one said you must have a grand wedding. Do according to your pocket
!!!
DeleteKisses
DeletePoster please dont take dopple's advice oh. Let me spell it out; KILL THE BABY you hear? Let's even forget that all the things happening to u is in no way the baby's fault(baby dey im own jeje, you went and had pre marital sex) and now its all the baby's fault isnt it? Kill am oh.
DeleteWell said
DeleteGbam
DeleteAre you for real? You didn't think of your situation when you were collecting abi.I trust bvs will finish you today,you don't have a case
ReplyDeleteYours sdkly dazzlinglizzy
And why do you girls always get pregnant before the wedding?
ReplyDeleteIt's so annoying and wrong.
I got pregnant before marriage so what? People that weren't pregnant have issues in marriage still... So what r u saying. Stop genaralising abeg.
DeleteWhen you wed, please let me know so I can come do PT for you b4 church service.
DeleteMy sister, na that one dey tire me, and now she's hiding it from her parents, why not use 'okpunnabueyi' if you must collect.
Deleteif that preggy no dey there I don't think she will think of sending this chronicle.
Exactly
DeleteChi the thing tire me. Even when my leg never too strong where God dey I never ever liked the idea. Apart from the fact that its wrong, I also feel the couple wont even enjoy being newly weds ( young, in love and alone). Once the kids start coming, the next time they'll truly be alone is when the kids leave the nest!
DeleteI'm hoping it's a fad. The tell-tale signs are the ball gowns and the bigger nose. The sad part is alot of them didn't get pregnant till after they got engaged. If you can use protection for years during courtship why cant you just manage through the short period of engagement till your wedding night? A ring on the finger doesn't mean you shld ditch the condoms!!!!!!
Delete@QueenLA,what is wrong is wrong it doesn't matter the circumstances that led to it. Pre-marital sex is wrong and no one is judging you except, maybe your conscience. We all can seek to make amends when we go wrong and not trying to justify the wrong. That's why our society is the way it is today. Because most people don't see anything wrong in doing evil again, instead they are praised. That young/older couples now freely have sex before marriage or that people who abstained are presently having issues doesn't in any way make fornication right. God loves us and wants us to obey him always without attempting to give excuses for our actions. IF you genuinely love someone, you'll do anything to make happy; it's the same with God. But in this case we don't have to do it on our own, He has given us the Holy Spirit.
DeleteChi exotic your comment is so stupid.....why are you fucking your boyfriend? So cos u use condoms you are better abi? Pre marital sex is wrong, so whether u hide it or not by not getting pregnant u are all guilty and wrong......some pregnancies are not expected....yes you fuck but you might even do some on the days you are safe and think nothing will happen.....in this case she is about to be married.....so summary of my epistle is you are equally wrong like her....you fuck and she fucks but cos your fucking hasn't resulted to pregnancy no mean say you right....lol
DeleteIs this a strategy to beg?
ReplyDeleteIf you're serious then your brain should be checked. When you parted legs, In this recession what were you expecting.
In this country anything can happy except you own your business,even at that you ain't safe.
Keep the pregnancy, and pray harder your boo gets a job. Stop being Greedy. What if you terminate and never conceives?
Your le boo will dumb you like a Piece or trash that you is. Am very sure you are immature.
Happen**
DeleteI support u on this Ideato. I think she wants to beg. I don't see the chronicle here😔
DeleteOponu Oshi! Every time beg beg. Believe it or not people are dealing with real life issues and if you don't have anything reasonable To say STFU!
DeleteBvs be tagging people. 'beggars' how much have you given on this blog and what is bad if people get help Through their life challenges?
Mmmttttccchhhhheeeewwww
*conceive
Delete*dump
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteYou need eyeglasses or na auto correct? Jobless bitch.
DeleteHian. See English. To even think you're an ITK...babe work on ur grammar abeg
DeletePoster,
ReplyDeleteYou better terminate the pregnancy!...
Cancel the wedding,use the money for something productive!...
Raising up a child with no source of income is not beans in Nigeria!...
Some will come here telling you to keep it that God will provide..no God provides for a lazy man!...
Don't bring a child here to suffer!...
Stella,if you delete this,I will stop commenting on your blog...
Did you even read the write up? Her husband isn't lazy, was laid off *achuru ya n'oru*
DeletePls anyone that has been looking for what the devil looks like should look no more.
DeleteThe devil is here.
You will surely answer for all this your stupid write up.
See threat na, if na me I go delete am sharp sharp...lol
DeleteWhere av u put ur brains queen or whatever u call urself,did she say her husband is lazy? So u want her to abort the pregnancy people are crying for everyday, in short ur brain is so retarded and empty. U just said terminate d pregnancy like a fool that u r.
DeleteSo u threaten Stella bcoz you are a shareholder here abi? How much of the giveaways dd u even do sef...? Stells I blame u
DeleteIf you stop commenting. . what coman happen? smh.. I dont support abortion o..but maybe just maybe if you were aborted. . I wont be replying this shit yu jus typed.
DeleteTypical you, you never disappoint.
DeletePoster accept this advice and open your arms to your own ruins
Queen or what are you? I pity the womb that accommodated you for 9 month, honestly you always reason like a fool and you think you are been different with it that is why I would have supported your mother aborted you when you were still a feotus. I GATS to belong oshi. Living fake life .
DeleteHow can u advice her to terminate 7 months old pregnancy? Are u high???
DeleteMadam fear God, I raise beyonce hands for u. Kilode, I have never commented on this blog though I read it every day
DeleteHian?!because people hail u here u think it matters if u don't comment?come down from ur horse babe,no one cares if u don't comment
DeleteStella na so you dey fear queen. Na wa o😅😅
DeleteHian?!because people hail u here u think it matters if u don't comment?come down from ur horse babe,no one cares if u don't comment
DeleteWhy do you give such crappy advice. How can you tell her to kill the baby? In trying to sound carefree u come across as really shallow.
DeleteWho needs you irrelevant and twisted comments on this blog anyway.
DeleteAre you threatening Stella? Lolz,calm down boss
DeleteSee threat. Stella this woman as knacked pigeon on your head. How do I go about my blog ID
DeleteThe way people insult you this blog I used to think you dont deserve it, Madam let imagine you to be Rich as u claimed to be, is this how u and ur hubby started off? You don't need to thrash talk every time, you an elderly person and so words that come out of ur mouth should portray you as one.
DeleteYou are a fool....and who cares if you stop commenting?How can you advise her to termimate? Where you terminated? Every child needs a chance at life just like u did.
DeleteMadam na wa oooooooo when I read you comments I wonder the kind of wife you are to your husband and mother to your children God have mercy on you. And I pray you don't face hardship in this life then you would know what life is truly about.
DeleteSometimes some comments can create misunderstandings or false informations,and this can lead to someone making personal and bad decision. You can't support or advice someone to kill! It's either you've killed or have participated in killing of innocent person.
DeleteI don't support abortion in any form and I don't like animal abusers. You are not untouchable, we can reach you and we can make your life miserable.
Queen of this blog na person? Born thruway asswipe wey family sacrifice for marriage to escape poverty....
DeleteHow can u tink of terminating ur baby.. it should never have crossed ur mind. You cn postpone the wedding or just do a parlor ceremony n moveon with it than to terminate ur pregnancy. Do u knw if u will hv another baby?
ReplyDeletePoster are U using style to beg for ur own N500k?
ReplyDeleteShut ifahu ikporu onu!!!
DeleteJammmmmeeeeeeessssss
DeleteJames don kill me with laughter pls.
DeleteThis is a subtle plea for help. How can you even think of abortion at that stage
DeletePlease leave the pregnancy. Collect your refundable deposits. Do a low key wedding and invest in business. See marriage is not a joke and you will still encounter many battles. Good luck.
ReplyDeletePlease keep the child. Children are the heritage of the Lord. Keep the baby!
ReplyDelete#I am a fruitful vine, I am a joyful mother of covenant children
Could this be the girl that begged me for money for wedding??? Well, abort the baby and start up something small. This country is too over populated. Don't bring a baby you won't be able to train that might turn out to be a nuisance on this blog like you or a common criminal in the future.
DeleteDo a small wedding. Do court wedding and marriage blessing in church on a week day. It wont require much guests. Just family and really close friends. Then make arrangements for take away packs of food and drink for them.As God blesses you,you can have a party for your one yr anniversary.
ReplyDeletePls dont try to impress anyone.plus the ones that have a big wedding and you thats doing a small one,you are all married. God will provide a job very soon. Marriage and children come with blessings.
Don't abort that baby, go and collect money for the hall, start to prepare for a small wedding in your compound and use the remaining money to get a shop and start food stuff business. Cut down the wedding expenses, it's not a must you do an elaborate wedding
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
You can do whatever you want with the wedding but i beg you, please do not touch that pregnancy!
ReplyDeleteDon't touch an innocent child that God has blessed you with, you don't know what will happen in the future. That baby might turn out to bring you the biggest blessing you've ever received.
God will not forgive you!
Help is on the way, hold on! Hugs
Oga ,Angels on this blog should locate her so she will not abort her child.
ReplyDelete*Oya
DeleteHmm,I'll just read comments on this one.
ReplyDeleteMost you do an elaborate wedding? If you are not Igbo, ask your in laws to come and meet your people. You can organize a mini engagement ceremony, just few relatives in attendance. Go to registry afterwards with your siblings and get a pastor to bless your home #shikena!
ReplyDeleteHow dare you think of terminating the pregnancy?
This is very simple, keep d baby, collect back all d money u guys have deposited for hall and other things, u guys should talk to both families, tell them u want an indoor marriage, use the remaining money to start up a small business.
ReplyDeletePissed off too.
ReplyDeleteLMAO! Babe!
DeleteReduce cost of wedding. .maybe do just court. Make food and put in plastic takeaway for pple. ..cancel the hall..ad drinks or water to the food..and Das all. No be food pple never chop b4, so just reduce ur budget as Stells said. Even pple wey spans millions on top wedding, some will still say dey dint eat, so just no do pass ur pwr. Save d rest cash and double up on job hunting. LASTLY no touch dat pikin oo
ReplyDelete7weeks gone & ure contemplating D&C? thats suicide... why not settle for a low budget kinda thing, & retrieve to your shell afterwards.... Africans can like to do elaborate things, ive never been a fan of crowd, uniform, inviting artistes etc for a wedding, besides it dsnt even guarantee the success of the marriage or how much happiness wld be involved... sign me up for a small nice garden setting with close friends & family present as we exchange vows or on a private beach.
ReplyDeleteMadam just come out and beg.
ReplyDeleteAin't no need cunningly soliciting for funds.
Pardon my ignorance but i see no chronicle here.
Your husband to be hasn't complained...so why d fuss huh?
How long has he been working for? Doesn't he have savings other than the one set aside for the wedding.
Fine...u'd say he had no idea he was gona be laid off so soon...that to me isnt a justification.
Keep the baby,when you both get to that bridge,you'd definitely cross it.
Both families could help in one way or the other.
If that's the only way let her beg
DeleteBut poster was your hubby to be, not saving for tomorrow, he was busy squandering all the money he was earning,u see...all of una wey dey work if una like make una no dey save ooo...keep squandering tomorrow go tell.
DeleteBabe leave the pregnancy.
ReplyDeleteYou can cancel the wedding and do a registry, then use the money for business if you must.
Gbam
DeleteI saw where you wrote renting of hall. At this point you need a low cost wedding and not an elaborate one.
ReplyDeleteLet your parents know the situation of things. They should get the kinsme. Your huaband should prepare to pay your bride price. After that, call few persons and have your court wedding done.
Its that simple sweety. No need to abort anything. Except you are looking for a BIG wedding.
Good luck!
Babe leave the pregnancy abeg, continue to pray and cut down every unnecessary spending towards wedding.
ReplyDeleteGod is ur strength be strong
Please leave the pregnancy, plan a small wedding that you won't have to spend much.
ReplyDeleteDon't do what you'll live to regret babe!
An uncle married his wife and immediately after wedding she took in, uncle said he wasn't ready for pregnancy, reason been that things weren't too rosey n he needed to enjoy his wife before children start coming.
ReplyDeleteAgainst everybody's advice, uncle insisted and the pregnancy was aborted.
26yrs down the lane, no child, not even a miscarriage.
They have done everything,spent so much n gone everywhere.
Learn from this story poster.
This story is quite common to many people. Aunt was a nursing student dating a medical student. Planned marriage, aunt gets pregnant. Doctor husband to be failed final exams. Aunt called wedding off and quietly aborted to give enough time to gather resources. Two years later it seemed fine . Marriage now held. Its now 17 years. Aunt still TTC. Husband has 2 kids with side chick now baby mama. What profit has aunt made? What shall it profit a woman if she gains all the finance in the world but loses her own child?
DeleteI don't understand how your husband didn't save if he had so much money and wanted to spend on an elaborate wedding. Makes no sense! Just do a small wedding and apologise to people. Just give them wine to say I'm sorry. Don't think or stress ur self too. Much cuz u r in ur first trimester.
ReplyDeleteIf u discuss with your parent they will understand... Before nine month, God will provide for ur husband.
The times u and ur horseband to be were f**king without condom ,didn't u know u will get pregnant?
ReplyDeleteOK.if u abort the pregnancy will u stop f**king skin to skin?
BTW why was he getting married when he did not hv money? And where are all d money he made since he became a grown up coz am sure he not a small child?
Please get married & keep the baby... He will bring you good fortune by God & your story will turn around for the best! There are many stories f people who started small... today, their story is a testimony!
ReplyDelete... Jesus is my worth!
Please wedding isn't marriage. Anyone who pays bride price is married, slash all the hall and festivities. Do a court wedding to legalize it then do a parlor reception for ur inner cacaus.
ReplyDeleteInukwa Akuko....do you know how many people spend millions on IVF yet the baby dies b4 7 weeks?
Btw....The undertone of your narrative sounds like a baggy beggy chronicle.
I dont understand, is someone else beginning to show in the picture?
ReplyDeleteAbeg do a small wedding jor...keep the lovely baby and invest wisely in MMM.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster: You have to be strong and mature!! Haba why are you sounding like this...I just think you should make the ceremony simple and don't touch that child..you decided to get pregnant so u have to live with that choice..And you have a man ready to stay with you..Dunno why this is a chronicle..you have no issues jare..
ReplyDeletePlease get married & keep the baby... He will bring you good fortune by God & your story will turn around for the best! There are many stories f people who started small... today, their story is a testimony!
ReplyDelete... Jesus is my worth!
even if you abort this baby, you will never recover from it. Ask women who have committed abortions, you dont forgive yourself, oh and you dont forget either no mata the circumstances. Please kindly spare yourself that anguish for the rest of your life. PLEASE take it from me.
ReplyDeletefoolish thinking! You wanna terminate a pregnancy bcos your hubby to be has no Job for now?? na wah for some pple sha....cancel wedding jor or have a very lowkey wedding. That Baby is a Blessing in disguise if you do not know
ReplyDeleteDear Poster: You have to be strong and mature!! Haba why are you sounding like this...I just think you should make the ceremony simple and don't touch that child..you decided to get pregnant so u have to live with that choice..And you have a man ready to start with you..Dunno why should is a chronicle..you have no issues jare
ReplyDeleteStella, you're not going to be there to pay for her expenses when the child comes, so please stop being judgemental. You don't even live in Nigeria anymore, so you don't even understand what we're going through in this country right now.
ReplyDeleteI lost my job since December and I haven't been able to get another one despite being well qualified and experienced. Even feeding myself is a problem these days, because I've since run though my rainy day fund and I stretched that, and my regular savings is almost depleted, why? Because times are hard. The cost of EVERYTHING has gone up, everyone is going through a hard time right now, so even the people that have helped me through tough times in the past, can't reasonably afford to.
Now I'm not saying she should terminate the pregnancy, but why is she doing anything but a registry wedding since her economic situation is so dire? Is it not obvious that she should cancel the pomp and pagentry and collect her money back? Use that money to start a business with her husband so that they can feed. Do this first before considering aborion
Babe abeg don't touch that chid cut down expenses for d wedding preparation
ReplyDeleteso you mean to say your husband doesnt have savings.
ReplyDeleteso you want to tell me now that you both dont have families
so what youre trying to say now is that as soon as you abort this baby, things will automatically turn around for you.
youre not ready for marriage my dear because challenges like these are what youll encounter in marriage.
Dont mind her! Premeditated murderer-in-view. Maybe she wants to even dump d guy seeing he is now jobless.
DeleteLazy poster..
ReplyDelete👀👀Look around you and tell me sincerely there's no job you can find to do and support your unborn child ( nanny, cooking food, selling food stuffs, sales girl, teaching, ))
You are very selfish to plan this alone rather than consulting your husband first.
Stop looking for help outside, begin to chsnging your mindset.
Do a very low key wedding.
Have that baby and go to OKRIKA mkt for fairly used baby items , wash them with dettols ( that's clothing sorted), may your breast milk flow to feed the baby.
Don't compete with anyone or look at others.
What else do you want us to say to you.
Poster, reduce the cost of your wedding. Do something smaller. Then pool your resources and manage things until something else comes along. Don't touch that pregnancy. How will you live with yourself if u do that? If your relations don't want a small wedding then let them foot the bill for a lavish one. My 2 cents.
ReplyDeletePlease do nothing to that innocent child,reduce your budget then you can start a small business with what's left.
ReplyDeleteLook for a court close to Mr Bigss. Wedding don do be dat.
ReplyDeleteBv's she has already paid for those things, y'all didn't read that part? Keep judging, this could happen to anyone... I hope God provides for you accordingly.. but since there's a date for wedding already, leave that child, and go ahead with your plan, Trust and obey God in this trying times, and you will sure smile
ReplyDeletePls don't abort dat pregnancy,believe God to make a way for u,go ahead with ur wedding,spend ur time on reading ur Bible instead of contemplating abortion.do u knw some women after committing abortion,dont conceive again?its a privilege to be pregnant pls be wise
ReplyDeletePoster you dare not touched that baby before the fire of the Holy Ghost falls upon you!
ReplyDeleteWhat is wrong with young ladies of this generation? You had premarital sex without guilts, you knew the consequences, but you choosed to indulge, then you come here talking about terminating an innocent baby.
Please, go for a small wedding, keep your baby and pray to God to help you and your husband find favour.
Who told you your husband will not get a job soon? Are you the Masterplanner of your life?
Beg God to forgive and have mercy on you and your husband to be.
Stop being negative, be steadfast in prayers, minimise your spending, don't keep up with the Jones's.
May God see you through.
I got married last Saturday, at the beginning of the year, I didn't have shishi, there is a special Grace that comes with marriage, plan for a small wedding,pray to God, he would make it big. Like I said I didn't have anything, I have my own house, planned for a small wedding and I ended up spending almost 3mill, I didn't save one day for it. Please don't abort that baby. Pray to God and have faith, he is the way maker.
ReplyDeleteJust on quick question for you poster, what if all these happened shortly after giving birth, what would you do? kill the child? Therein lies your answer.
ReplyDeleteCould this be the girl that begged me for money for wedding??? Well, abort the baby and start up something small. This country is too over populated. Don't bring a baby you won't be able to train that might turn out to be a nuisance on this blog like you or a common criminal in the future.
ReplyDeletePoster if your decision makes sense, gather your family and that of your fiancé together and inform them.
ReplyDeleteDear poster, it's easy, collect the money, do a church blessing which I did for my wedding, and hubby adores me till tomorrow,and gives me everything I want as long as I Don mention am, anyway back to you, collect all the money back, do a church blessing, and you are done o, you are married both in the eyes of God and human cuz truth is no matter how lavish your wedding is, people will still talk so now don't waste money on wedding especially now
ReplyDeleteLook, this isn't the right time to birth a baby you cannot cater for. I doubt family and friends would be able to pitch in, recession and all.
ReplyDeleteTalk to your man about how you feel, for all you know he might want the same thing (abortion).
People are quick to say "don't you dare touch the pregnancy blah blah" but how many of them would dare to financially and emotionally support you?
Tell your man how you feel.
MISS Jacobs.
"Miss" pls allow a "Mrs" advise her. People that have experience in marriage and children. You are giving her a "single girl's easy way out runs girl's" advice. Pls move ahead
DeleteMaybe some of you should learn from your parents. Just maybe murder isn't always an option. Ever heard of a tough time that never pass? Even you with your thinking and mentality still have a phone and bis, so it's all good
DeleteWhat kind of Moronic statement is that? "Mrs" @Tilly you think getting married makes you a better adviser? This way of reasoning makes it clear that you have no business giving anyone advise, single or married. Whats a runs girl advise about what she said? What she said was practical. When times are hard will you send money her way for baby stuff? It's like you don't know married women commit abortion almost as much as single girls and their number one reason is financial constraint. Oh and for your information, using your extremely flawed logic. "Miss" Jacob has every right to advise her, you know why? They are both "Miss" the poster isn't married so technically she is a single girl. I pray one day Nigerian women will realize that being married doesn't give you the right to be condescending. 😇
DeleteRobyna, we're on SDK blog. I'd be shocked if someone didn't play the "you're single, I'm married" card. Lol.
DeleteMISS Jacobs.
Roby if the baby was already born and her husband is laid off,would she kill the baby? Why is it so easy for abortion to be her option and advice.
DeleteAnd get over yourself, "Nigerian married women" is not a title. How can any responsible person advice someone to kill a child?its better she kills the child on her own if thats her decision. Robyna or Miss Jacobs I dont even know why my response is giving you belly ache.
I wont stoop to your level and dignify your "moronic" insult with a response.
DeleteIgnore these close minded folks. It's cruel to have a child you know you cannot cater for. You'll have your babies when you're in a better place.
ReplyDeleteYou are the close minded folk here and a very wicked one at that. So she commmit murder because she cannot cater for it now ? what if things changes before the baby comes you never know my dear you never know so stop seeing things in a myopic way.
DeleteWhy talk about terminating the when some people have been praying for so many years to be pregnant.May God forgive you.Do you know whether you are destined to have only a child.
ReplyDeletePlease change to a low budget wedding.Who elaborate wedding eep.Keep your baby Go will use him/her to bless your home.
Hmmmmmmmm na wa ooooooooo
ReplyDeleteWhen he inserted his rod When he inserted his rod into ur hole wot were u expecting? TV, fridege or iron? Mschew.
ReplyDeleteplease don't terminate the pregnancy, what if u r 36 weeks gone and your hubby lost the job?what will you do? cut the wedding into a small wedding, maybe only close family and friends. i know there is light at the end of every tunnel, this is just a trying period for both of you...and you should be more prayerful and have faith God will do something quick...I wish you both good-luck and God's blessings in no time.
ReplyDeleteWhen he inserted his rod into ur hole wot were u expecting? TV, fridege or iron? Mschew.
ReplyDeleteU wan beg or you really need advice? Please reduce the cost of the wedding , make it low budget but keep the BaBY!!! Your fiance never say make u remove u wan remove, take ya time o! People de find pickin u wan remove.
ReplyDeletePoster u dare not touch that baby.Do ur small gathering with close family and let ur pastor bless you guys,u can even exclude friends if it calls for that.Take a shoot together shikena.Use ur remaning money and start up a business for ur self.
ReplyDeletePoster u dare not touch that baby.Do ur small gathering with close family and let ur pastor bless you guys,u can even exclude friends if it calls for that.Take a shoot together shikena.Use ur remaning money and start up a business for ur self.
ReplyDeleteNNE, please don't touch that pregnancy biko, God that started this plan for you and hubby will surely make a way out
ReplyDeleteSeriously u need deliverance,u dare compare wedding wit a priceless gift,fruit of d womb...shame on u
ReplyDeletePls pls don't joke wit Ur unborn baby,beter do a small wedding or court marriage period
Please leave that baby, some babies bring so much luck into your life, my baby has been so much blessing to me, in my toughest times I have always had help cos of my baby, my family has been so blessed. So please leave that baby, ask God for forgiveness.
ReplyDeleteI understand your fears but it is a peck of dust compared to what God can do, he is bigger than your fears, just ask him to help you, HE WILL HELP YOU.
Pls better go and get married in the court and keep that baby. ... Must u have a big wedding ??? U can do it any other time..
ReplyDeleteso when u encounter another financial problem later in ur marriage u will kill off ur children bcos of recession? poster fear God o. better keep dat baby but do a low key wedding. if u re a catholic go for morning mass wedding otherwise do blessing of marriage. Goodluck
ReplyDeletemy dear please dont abort. i just had a babybin june and my hubby has been looking for work since, guess what? hubbys friend saw my dp that we had another baby, came to congratulate us and hubby discussed about his job search. he told hubby they are recruiting at there workplace. guess what? my hubby now works there and earn over 1million naira per month. our conclusion was the new baby brought the job. babies bring what they will eat to the world. you will be surprised when you give birth
ReplyDeletei wee come back to comment!
ReplyDeleteCan't your husband stand on his own? Engineering is a good course/job and he can have his own company by starting from the cradle.
ReplyDeleteIf you were to be married and this happens, will you file for a divorce? Or I don't understand your putting the wedding plans on hold or aborting the baby, the baby is not the cause of your predicament so don't terminate d pregnancy.
My advice?
Let your husband stand on his own, with the knowledge he has empowered himself with, he can use that to sought for contracts, he might not get a major mouth watering contract now but with time, he will. Yes, your lifestyle will change cos now, you two have to manage the resources he has put together b4 his sack. Tell the wedding planner to refund half of your money to you and she should work with the other half, if the venue you are using has smaller halls, mehn... Use that and get some of your money back, if not,you can ask for a refund and look for a smaller hall somewhere else. Stop giving and inviting people to your wedding, tell your folks too to stop.
As for you, learn a skill, the easiest is catering as people must eat,you can learn anyone you love, start from your home and with God by your side, you two can pull through.
Chop knuckle Stella
dear poster I can totally relate with what u are saying but trust me this is phase and it will pass...the baby have a right to live,and don't forget that all things will work together for your good.. try to cut down the cost of the wedding instead of hall use canopy, instead of live band use a DJ ...
ReplyDeleteHey madam NYSC better receive sense.I usually don't have the time to type on post but I am compelled to comment on your post.If you know what is good for you better leave that baby before you start running from pillar to post asking prophets and MOG to pray for you to conceive.I have a friend who was faced with similar circumstances though in her case there was no wedding in the equation. She got pregnant for her bf and because he was talking marriage fiam! She went and removed the pregnancy. Not up to two months after bf proposed but pregnancy was gone.Fast forward 10years later she is TTC doctors say she and hubby are good fertility wise but still no children. She has cried out her eyes,prayed begged God but the guilt remains. She carries the guilt around like a cloak.Only God knows how long her husband can wait for her. I pray you don't find yourself in a similar situation. Where is your faith in God? Why not do a registry wedding like many of the BVs have advised? To be forewarned they say is to be forearmed! Be guided.
ReplyDeleteYou knew you didn't have a job yet you were committing fornication freely. Now the result is pregnancy and you're looking for a way out. Get married but scale down on everything. Do a tiny trad wedding with just a few family members, do a court marriage and go and bless your union in church. Shikena.
ReplyDeleteHow people plan to get married immediately after nysc amazes me. What ever happened to getting a job first and being independent? Now that the man has lost his job and you didn't even have one to start with, you're both jobless and liable to start having fights when you get married.
God fix this too.
ReplyDeletePoster you will forever live to regret it if any thing happens to this wonderful child. Leave your baby alone.
ReplyDeleteCut all cost to ur wedding and have in door trad wedding after which you guys procede to registry. Good luck.
Dont be stupid. Just reduce the wedding cost... Collect back the money for the hall and get a cheaper alternative.
ReplyDeleteMy pastor bishop Abioye said in one of his sermons that it is not compulsory to have a marriage celebration.what matters is the heart. Nways keep the child cos you don't know if that's the last conception you'll ever experience. My ex husband always tell me to terminate my babies cos he doesn't have money and probably thinks that at 32 he will never be able to make money(lazy idiot) well I never listened to him and instead kept my angels and worked hard. Now he wants them back after I left his sorry ass!!! FOESTUS NOT BLOOD,THEY ARE BABIES
ReplyDeleteFoolish geh, if ur parent ve aborted u will u be alive and be saying all this shit! wedding can be postponed but u cant bring back a life. My advise for is go and do the abortion and die. Oloshi!
ReplyDeleteAny time wey Stella dy always shout say make person no do abortion, I being dy think say she dy over do d thing. Until I had a miscarriage. Poster! Abeg I tk God beg u, no let anything do dt pikin oo. I wish I could help u. I hp God sends u guys angels.
ReplyDeleteWhy not try mmm.it has helped a lot of people financially
ReplyDeleteAre you sick? @Poster
ReplyDeleteAre you the one that put the baby there? Is your hubby-to be complaining?
Why this? You are yet to understand God until you do, the spirit of confusion will not leave you. Do you know what God is planning for you guys.
My dear go ahead with your small wedding and use the proceed to start up something with faith. Call Jesus, He's waiting...
What were you both thinking when you were planning a big wedding. when we advise that you do something small and have what to fall back on, you guys will think we are jealous.
ReplyDeletebetter don't touch that baby.
There is something ABOUT ABORTIONS which I'd like us to see. When one kills (or encourages the killing of; see Prov. 6:16-17) innocent children, the consequences are three. 1. You deny yourself the joy of having a home (remember the Hebrew midwives who spared babies against Pharaoh's advice to kill them; God rewarded them with families; Ex.1) 2. You risk "sudden death" in the hands of another fellow/accidents etc. remember Gen.9:6 and thirdly, you deny yourself eternal life! What a life! God isn't going to call you to glory if you do not repent. Jesus said; come to me all you that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest; that's Matt. 11:28. If you do not repent, you'd keep on laboring for the Serpent. But if you repent and make Jesus your Lord today and begin to read your scriptures; you'd find peace and the above three lots will not be yours. God bless you.
ReplyDeleteI work in a hospital and the most cases of "septic abortions" (abortions that get infected etc.) that we see is usually during the first quarter of the year; a fallout of vaginal pounding during Christmas and valentine. Chai, come and see beautiful dead girls, lost wombs, bedridden ones and so on. What pains me most is that these girls will continue denying that they had abortion as if the doctor is a magistrate that will sentence them to death. One denied aborting till she breathed her last only for the nurses that were to prepare her body for the morgue to pull out a mangled baby's remains from her vagina.
ReplyDeleteAnd these boys just continue to prowl on the next victims -any vagina that opens! Girls, there is no "rest in peace" if you did not let babies find peace in your womb when the "mistake" of premarital sex was made. If this is your case and you survived it; repent, we all make mistakes.
The guilty ones who do not want to repent are those that will come under my post to rant. Having said it, they will perhaps hide under anonymous and talk about how "nothing happened"! It takes just one day for the thief and murderers to be caught!
Listen to yourself real good. Every thing you typed was all you you you. Abi I am not getting something here? Is Marriage suppose to be about just you? Can you see how easily you thought of settling down before jumping into it. Now at the very very first test you are already failing and woefully too. So your husband has a little issue and you call him out in the name of seeking advice? Well if you truely want advice,No one said you must marry loud. The Money he put down for wedding, can be channeled into something productive. Do a small wedding and sorry but for taken something as heavy as murder lightly, you are immature and still a kid yourself.
ReplyDelete*taking
DeleteHow I wish this is my problem now.
ReplyDeleteposter no child is a mistake bcos sex is jus sex until d LORD blesses it wit a child. weddin is jus a day! but a child.....
ReplyDeleteAnyone that goes out of their way to kill the child in their tummy is wicked. Yes I said it! Why have premarital sex why? Yet you want that human being in your belly to die a painful death because of your few minutes of pleasure. May God forgive you for even thinking about it.
ReplyDeletePoster, i cried after reading the first few lines of this your post! I cried! how can you think like this? A wedding will happen in a day, cut down on the costs. Its always better to start small as far as your husband is not lazy. Babies come with their own blessings. I know a personal friend whose wife committed abortion while preparing for their wedding. They've been married 7 years now and are still believing God for a baby meanwhile my friend, the husband, now has a child outside the marriage. Are you saying in future, if you and your husband run into financial difficulties, God forbid, and you are told to sacrifice your child to get out of it, will you do it? My dear, be wise. Your husband can land a multi-million naira contract or a well paying job anytime soon. And besides he's in a good profession. But above all, this is the time to grow in faith. Believe God!!!
ReplyDeleteEeya!
DeleteOya na stop crying you hear.
The way your crying is making me cry now.
Poster, i cried after reading the first few lines of this your post! I cried! how can you think like this? A wedding will happen in a day, cut down on the costs. Its always better to start small as far as your husband is not lazy. Babies come with their own blessings. I know a personal friend whose wife committed abortion while preparing for their wedding. They've been married 7 years now and are still believing God for a baby meanwhile my friend, the husband, now has a child outside the marriage. Are you saying in future, if you and your husband run into financial difficulties, God forbid, and you are told to sacrifice your child to get out of it, will you do it? My dear, be wise. Your husband can land a multi-million naira contract or a well paying job anytime soon. And besides he's in a good profession. But above all, this is the time to grow in faith. Believe God!!!
ReplyDeleteI dunno know the meaning of anuofia but that's what I feel like saying to u. Rubbish!!!
ReplyDeleteThat's how an aunt aborted twins before wedding.
ReplyDeleteIf she'll born, maybe next year as she's now in her 60s. Had to adopt
My dear, keep your precious gift from God. Please, DO NOT ABORT THAT CHILD! I am typing this while lying next to my now 10 month old blessing and joy bringer. I understand your fears and the questions running through your mind. Please do not listen to the judgemental folks in here. Be encouraged in God's unwavering love for you. He sees the end from the beginning. His Mercy is great and His Love will not fail you. He does not judge or think as we do. Your Hubby to be hasn't rejected or denied being responsible so take a deep breath and take charge of YOUR thoughts. Halt the negativity. Be positive! This precious child has chosen to live. You are a woman, you were made to give life and nurture it. Don't you see? This IS a test. The child doesn't have to come at your own perfect timing. Whether now, 3 years or 5 years after marriage, that is still your CHILD, your flesh and blood, so why abort? Prayerfully, go with your hubby to be and tell your mother first. She'd probably(most likely) be upset but plead with her for forgiveness, and ask for her help and influence with your Dad and family in sorting out and bringing forward the arrangements for your traditional marriage first if that has not been done yet and then you can have a court registry marriage. These are the most important marital rites. It's not a law that all must be done at once. Scale down your white wedding and save some money from there with which you can use to start a small scale business that brings daily proceeds, no matter how small and save the proceeds for baby's needs. You've got 9 months to prepare so worry less and start preparing. Babies come with the blessings of favor, supply and provision. Breastfeeding your baby exclusively for the first few months helps you to save on formula, builds immunity and preserves baby's health. Supplementing disposable diapers with reusable cloth diapers helps save on diapers and they don't need too many clothes the first year. You add clothing to your baby's wardrobe as baby grows. Be thankful and prayerful and have faith that things will turn around for you and your hubby financially.
ReplyDeleteDearest OP, if you have ever been in a position of being married and waiting for that pregnancy to come while years pass you by, you will not ever suggest terminating it. The father is even happy! Please shut those voices telling you to abort up. They are evil.
ReplyDeleteI like Stella's advice to you. You CAN have a small wedding after all, things are hard nowadays. Keep the money for the child while you both continue to look for a job.
Please have a bit of faith. Yes things are bad but with a little faith, it can turn around for you and your husband.
my dear, u better start by apologizing to ur unborn child first unless he/she will never be happy with u even after giving birth to him/her. God has a reason for giving u dat baby in d first place nd u want to terminate it. never u tried dat, wat if u die in d process? what if ur mum did dat to u, i guess will be happy, or did u mum get married to Dangota?
ReplyDeletemy dear, u better start by apologizing to ur unborn child first unless he/she will never be happy with u even after giving birth to him/her. God has a reason for giving u dat baby in d first place nd u want to terminate it. never u tried dat, wat if u die in d process? what if ur mum did dat to u, i guess will be happy, or did u mum get married to Dangota?
ReplyDelete