STAND ALONE NARRATIVE..
HE SAYS HE WILL CHEAT!
Good day Stella,
Hope this meets you well. I must commend you for your effort on the blog.
Anyways, straight to my chronicle and please hide my identity....
There's this guy I'm currently seeing, we are dating but I told him it's not a relationship yet just cos I needed time to do my research on him and all that.
Here are my issues; I'm quite reserved and do not party much but this guy is the complete opposite. He's out every single night with his guys! I told him about it and he said it's cos he lives alone and he's always bored at night. Even though his reason sounds good enough, I'm worried because For me to date someone, it means the guy is someone I can marry. Hence, let's say we start a relationship and possibly end up getting married, won't this behaviour continue or do you think marriage will calm him down? I'd love a husband that is home with his family most nights.
Secondly, not long ago while we were speaking, he mentioned that most guys cheat especially if they are in a distance relationship. I asked if he'd cheat on me if there was ever distance between us and he said YES. I was shocked Stella. He said he was just being honest with me...I know guys cheat and even if he said no, there's no assurance that he wouldn't cheat on me if distance ever came up between us. But the way he said it plainly surprised me. Should I be worried? Cos to me, it came across as, if we are in a distance relationship, even if girls don't seduce him, he'l go out looking for them.
Also, like I mentioned earlier, for me to be in a relationship with someone, it means I can marry the person. However, it's not the same with this guy (I don't know if guys are generally like that). He said he's not promising marriage that we should just grow together and that it's still too early to know if he can marry me or not. It's not like I want him to promise me marriage but that statement leaves me wondering Why he wants to be with me.
He's 29 years old so it's not like he's too young to consider marriage. We've known each other for 10 months and we only started dating 2 months ago. Even though I didn't plan the dating process to be sexual, somehow somehow we ended up having sex. I'm worried because I don't want to waste my time; I'm 24 years old.
Regardless of all these, he is a very nice, thoughtful and caring guy. So please Stella and fellow BVs, am I over analysing the situation or should I go ahead with the relationship?
I need mature advice please. I'll be reading comments.
Let me join you and read comments...Hmmmmm
Na wahhhhhhhh!
ReplyDeletePoster I don't even like wasting time on such comments anymore. You are seeing signs but because you want to marry you're under pressure for yourself by yourself.
DeleteDamn bae why so uptight? Every man cheat one way or the other. To me if a man respects you(doesnt rub shit in your face) care and provide for you. Plays his role as a husband nne there is no need for panadol. Meanwhile I don't like the fact that he is night crawler. About him changing it won't happen anytime soon.
DeleteThe guy won't marry u, wat advice are u looking for? D handwriting is on d wall.. hope u used condone during d sex? Cos u are not d only one he sleeps with, leave that guy and recieve sense
Delete@poster,he is actually the opposite of you..and that is just the difference between an introvert,extrovert and an Ambivert..
DeleteFrom what i understand,its quite easy for an introvert to turn to an Extrovert;but its not that easy for that to occur vice-versa(Reason why changing him wouldnt be easy)..
About him cheating when he is far away;there is an atom of truth regarding that.cos naturally,PROXIMITY BREEDS AFFECTION! and that is why "Most" men tend to cheat when they are far away(cos the heart would always want someone to occupy that vacant space,and not all men can control that urge)..and that defines the major reason why long distance relationship doesnt always work out for many..
in your own case,you just have to choose with coping with him,or just let go if he isnt up to your spec..cos thinking of him changing in the nearest future is under probability..which might never occur!!
Nevertheless,you need to understand that every relationship must not lead to marriage!! and you being 24 doesnt change that..
so all you have to do is just to have a positive mind in any relationship you find yourself..
#cheers..and do remember that in life;You either WIN or you LEARN!!
@MARTINS ABOY
I love this boy, U r way too matured for ur age.
DeletePlease share and like Raw Life on Facebook for a chance for goodies soon to come
DeletePoster that guy doesn't love you ok,better don't deceive yourself.
DeleteMartin Kudos to u for your comment. It's a nature 1.
DeleteMartins Aboy your such an amazing creature!! 2m likes for this advice.
DeleteYou are seeing things you don't like and still asking us stupid questions. Date him and be miserable
DeleteI don't know why some ladies has refused to reason beyond their eyes.
DeletePoster how old are you by the way, cos this post is pretty childish.
Haven't you heard of the most popular phase that 'All relationship must not lead to marriage'?
The poor guy hasn't asked you about marriage and you re here speculating on marrying him.
Don't sound desperate next time.
Even if you re, don't make him conclude that you're.
Poster every relationship must not end in marriage okay. The gut is being very truthful so it's left for you to either stay or leave it.
DeleteMy own be sey you don already dey give am nyash, so with his type, your value has started decreasing in his eyes. Deep down you know he is not committed and you do not trust him. Also I doubt he loves you, because he doesn't mind hurting your feelings in the guise of being honest. You are one of the many side chicks and he is even conditioning you to tolerate his cheating. I am sensing you are someone a bit reserved who likes to do what is right. So why are you selling yourself short? Do yourself a favor and run far away from this dude, except you like sufferhead. At twenny4 you shouldn't be desperate. I don tire to type. Thank me later.
DeleteThat's how you will 'somehow' end up dating him for years and he still won't marry you. His beliefs are obviously different from yours what are still waiting for?
ReplyDeleteThanks u o! I was surprised when she said they are already dating.
DeleteYou've dated a guy for only two months and you are already troubling him with marriage, responsible guys slow down on partying once they get married but try to learn how to have fun bcos most men get tired of boring wives. Don't be in such a hurry to get married..trust me marriage is not the highest achievement in life.
DeleteThank u Ajebo,poster your mind set us so wrong..2months and you are choking him, the guy is being truthful, h knows what he wants where as you,all u want is a promise of marriage and a time line without checking compatibility..my dear if u hurry in,u will hurry out. Why not date,do courtship,as a married man,i will tell u that it's not how far o but how well.dont be so uptight, loosen up..whether u end up with this guy or not,make sure u study a check fo compatibility with whom ever before marrying.. also him hanging out now, doesn't mean he will continue like that,its actually lonliness.i used to be like that, I stayed out till 11pm to 1am before I got married..now,i even watch weekend and midweek matches at home,i drink at home,na wify they ginger me no sef to club. Tone it down a bit u hear before u turn desperate
DeleteHe is already cheating dear.
ReplyDeleteThem nor tie you join he waist, by the time he goes clubbing with most of his frnds with their babes or hooking up, he would also wanna hook up, what am saying is that very few of this kidda guy stay faithful, be courageous maybe you can CHANGE him.
He won't change
DeleteShe can go ahead with the marriage Na when he's ready but I bet she's gonna come back here to tell us another chronicle of how he's busy sleeping with different women.. Red light straight up
DeletePoster dump the last line ps. Go and develope urself wiv that time u wud be using to babysit an adult! You are not the holy spirit to change a man's ways. BTW stop having sex wiv him already. You don't want to invest a billion dollars in a 5 year project that ends up flopping! You wud be devastated. I wud tell u ladies something just as an adult knows when he is hungry and knows exactly what he wants to eat and where to get it, that's how much you shd leave men/bois to work their way around your heart. Cuz if he truly wants to be with you he wud invest in every sense and you wud know it. Clearly this guy don dey put u for high jump already and u truly wan begin work ur sef up. Define ur life and never put ur life in the hands of your fellow man wey no be your family in the name of dating and much less one that has got not firm values for life/irresponsible. This 29year old is still thinking he is a boi and he has to experiment a little more before he settles down. Now do not end up being a failed experiment for him. Value yourself today and leave him alone. U don't want a certain future but this boi is certainly going to lead you there if u end up in marriage wiv him. Loneliness like you've never felt wud become your companion and you wud age way faster... 24 still young and this boi never do mature. Just as yourself this question ps and the answer wud help you act. Can this kind of personality be a mentor to you? Since u are more concerned about a future not just the present. Good luck
DeleteMarriage marriage, did he say he will marry u? Date if u must n don't always expect marriage, he has told u he will cheat n cheat he will, he's even pressing breast now as I type, so choose if u'll stay or quit.
ReplyDeleteLooool
DeleteLike I don't get oh
DeleteThe guy never talk of marriage and she's assuming already
All relationships must not end in marriage
A man can be good for a bf, but not husband
Stop getting ahead of yourself.
I like ur comment. I was laughing out loud.
DeleteYou be witch, hope you know
DeleteTrust me, that guy doesn't love you, of course he is caring and nice, anyone can be caring and nice to anyone without loving them. So use your seventh sense wake up and smell the coffee.
ReplyDeletePoster,
ReplyDeleteThis guy is still having fun can't you see it?...
He is not ready to settle down now!...
Like I would always advise here to have a plan B,C-Z....
Give other men a chance abeg and stop wasting your time with him!...
Yes,most men in a long distance relationship cheat!...same with some women...
Even me that my husband is here cheat too...
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂...u too Dey make sense....
DeleteI'm with you on this.
DeleteWerey lol
DeleteLmaoo please Queen y do u cheat? Your husband is rich nd gives u all u want so pls y donu cheat? Or is he dick small?
DeleteFierce dis your waka wey you dey waka, abi na run wey you dey run, na forever?
DeleteMy dear dis one n9r be person Wey ready to settle down at all at all. I like his style he nor lie at all at all. So ti confirm all your fears are valid. Not ready to settle, will cheat, you will find it hard getting him to stay at home. If you were my sister. I will tell you you can date but don't put your mind there. Be on the lookout for Mr right. Don't be hoping to change him cos you can't. Decide whether you want him like that or not.
ReplyDeleteAs my fellow bvn will say "he is honest with" a better version of a guy who wants a fuck mate and cook. Life itself is a risk. Wat I knw is dat guy no send u,enough to respect ur feeling. Wat do I known.
ReplyDeleteBvn kee
DeleteWhat d hell are u talking about, just 2 months into d relationship u are already itching for marriage, that's why marriages don't last these days, instead of u to enjoy ur relationship while it last, u are here worrying about d guy, must every relationship end in marriage, after all u are not even a virgin, the other guys dat slept with u, why didn't they Marr u, if u don't feel comfortable with him plz walk away after all d guy has notin to lose, guy man don shine ur Congo wells, am sure u gave him monkey style sef hisssss.
ReplyDelete*claps hands* your comment cracked me up wallahi.
Delete*hangs leg on the cupboard*
😂😂😂 thank u
DeleteYou seem to have a problem with the truth. You asked a question and he gave you an honest answer! So that goes a long long way to show the kind of person he is. You said even if he said no, you know he will still cheat, yet you can't come to terms with the truth.
ReplyDeleteHe isn't doing anything wrong Nne, he is 29 and he hangs with his buddies. Cut him some slack biko.
You seem like you want a perfect man and from what I see here, you are not ready for this r/ship.
A man will come and lie to you now, you will fall in love with that kind of man.
Exactly
DeleteIt's hard to find to find men who are completely honest like this.
Why are you worying yourself it's just two months, instead try to get to know him better and you even said he's caring
Let me tell you, he might not even cheat on you he might just be saying it so that if anything happens you won't feel hurt and betrayed. But I'm 70percent sure that a guy who can be this honest if he truly loves you and he knows you aren't cool with it would try his best to abstain.
Try to maintain an open mind
Dating for 2months n thinking marriage wow. U sound desperate
ReplyDeleteI don't think so I met my hubby just 2 weeks n he proposed n we got married a month later n we are happily married now n expecting
DeleteAnyways it depends on how ready a man is and his intentions towards u
Never heard such before. 2weeks? That 1 no bi dating
DeleteMadam you are lying, two weeks?
DeleteThe word of God is profitable to direct. Flee fornication, if you want a life partner, seek God. From your description, he isn't ideal, not all men cheat, only boys that don't fear God cheat. Zip up and face God for yours.
ReplyDeleteThank for giving did comment,let her flee away from sin and seek God face in psalm 32:8 because God is the best match maker
DeleteFirst of all what are you doing with a 29 year old?? It's better to date men who give you a little more age gap. They are more mature. Then yes all men cheat jare but he shouldn't have told you he will cheat with distance. Shows how childish he is
ReplyDeleteNot all men cheat..... We still have faithful men out there who are 100% faithful to their partners.
DeleteMaybe u have been meeting the wrong ones.
No hard feelings bae
I delete the S&M guys asap when they add me on bbm
DeleteI don't do boys
If you like get millions
I'm in my 20s
If you're not in your 30s or early 40s,boy bye.
Chi same here oh. Thirties (middle sef) and early forties. In my twenties too
DeleteSame here but I dated a fuck man for 3months..42yr old tld me he has a gfrd I agreed but hes not loving or caring. He only checks up on me n fuck plus eat my food...I was frustrated n left..
DeleteMust every relationship end in marriage? Hell NO
ReplyDeleteWhich is why you shouldn't put all your eggs in one basket! How many times will we preach it here before y'all start listening?
The guy is immature and a player, but i like the fact that he is being very honest with you. It's left for you to borrow yourself brain and follow him with wisdom.
Since you say he is a caring guy, then stick around and let him take care you. While keeping another serious guy by the side.
But I hope you ain't having unprotected sex with him? If you are, please stop now.
Nice one
DeleteBecky chop kiss for this comment. I always look forward to your comments on chronicles, keep it up.
Delete...Victoria's Heart
Me too I'll read comments
ReplyDeleteYou guys are in an open relationship...friends with benefit...he is indirectly telling you he isn't ready to settle down. A playboy at 29 will remain a playboy for life...u have known him for 8months before dating and you still went ahead...smh
ReplyDeleteMadam,follow ur instinct.
ReplyDeleteJames, I love you
DeleteAlways have
Always will.
Na wa for wire road o! You are 24, still young but marriageable, though you sound like someone who is not ready to settle down yet. If you are ready to settle down, pls wait for someone that is serious and wants to make you his wife.This guy isn't ready,he wants to have fun wile eating your cookies for free. Shine your eye o, I don't trust him one bit.
ReplyDeleteExactly, the guy don turn you to osho free. Oshisco!
DeleteAbi oh na reading comments ti take over. Poster you are too confused. At 24 you should look for a guy that is ready to settle down and not partying upandan, every night. In fact I have enough issues of my own. Let me Go and settle them first.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile Moskedapages is giving me life. Sally is so talented !!!
ReplyDeleteDear follow your heart and use your head also set your priorities right.
ReplyDeletefrom your description of the guy above he sounds like a joker. He still considers himself too young to settle down as a "home boy" he is na.
life is not all about partying abeg.
#my2cents
Poster, you are with a straightforward man. He has put it all on the table, so, what you see is what you get? There's nothing to over think. If you can tolerate cheating, you go ahead. But if you can't then relax and keep waiting for the right man. He is not a husband material though, if you need my opinion.
ReplyDeletemy dear ave you heard about fuck boys? Yoruba demons?.... if not ur BAE is either one or he's both.... pls runnnnn ...... D. V
ReplyDeleteSomehow Somehow youve collected? just 2months & uve somehow somehow spread ur legs like rumour, & yet youre still trying to know him b4 officially dating him full throttle, ok o... lemme assume that was also part of the "knowing"... knowing his dick size, if you can handle it for marriage.
ReplyDeleteThat niggar is a realist, given the risk of losing the relationship even b4 kickoff, hes still putting his cards on the table, black & white. Poster, even if he stays a stone throw from you, such night crawler will definately cheat, hes very non-chalant & hes hold on you isnt firm enough, its just 2months & he dsnt seem to be going the xtra mile to keep you, and dont even think marriage changes such ppl, it'd only get worse.
I can already see ur complains as an introvert marrying an extrovert.
Atheist... Dont i love you already😃😍
DeleteI jes enjoy reading your comments...Like I scroll n search.
DeleteI do too..
DeleteSister, the solution to the conundrum you are in, lies solely with you.
ReplyDeleteThe guy already told you he will cheat on you per adventure distance separates the both of you..
That makes him a 'cheater' right?
So I think the questions you should ask yourself are:
Can I get married to someone that can cheat on me easily?
Can I get married to a guy that parties hard and often, and is never at home?
Can I still continue with the relationship having in mind, that this guy has hinted that he is not ready to settle down?
Can you answer the above questions sister?
There You have it..your answer.
Easy peasy see?
Madam, u've already seen the signs.
ReplyDeleteWithin you, u know he's not some1 u can spend the rest of your life with. So move on.
Follow your mind. You said he's a thoughtful,nice and caring guy right ?
ReplyDeleteYou can't have it 100%
...Still wondering why he wants to be with me." Vanity wonder, keep wondering o. By the time he eats life of your body finish, you will know why he wants to be with you. STELLA , who are these people that write all these letters to you? Choi Choi, choi!
ReplyDeleteYou are still studying the guy after spreading legs like handfan fan abi? Kikikikikikiki oshey studyer.
DeleteOya, come and take microscope to help your study. #subzerocommonsense
She should be bothered about hiv and other sexually transmitted diseases.. better leave that guy cos it won't work.. kolewerk
DeleteWhatever you compromise your standards to have, you will eventually loose. Your best days are still in front of you. This guy is a shortcut. Taking shortcuts will only you make you do the journey twice or even more. Let the peace of God be an umpire in your heart. Reading your write up, you don't have this peace. All the best. Chidinma in stbg.
ReplyDeleteBest comments I have read so far.
Delete*hangs leg on the cupboard*
Best comment
DeleteNice one! Poster you hear? Follow this comment by Chidinma.
DeleteYou're 24 and you're already desperate for marriage. Nawao!
ReplyDeleteThat's the right age my dear, marry early so u can grow with ur kids that's the age I got married n my hubby was 28...maturity is not by age tho
DeleteThanks dear, I married my wife at the same age too (24) but what I'm saying is that.. If it doesn't happen at that age they shouldn't be desperate to avoid sending *Chronicle*
DeleteOkay, you want us to tell you to quick d guy or wat? Continue it's ur life babe... Buh remember he is gonna leave u for another babe very soon...
ReplyDeleteTo start from the last, you don't want to waste your time so don't waste you time, just marry immediately.
ReplyDeleteYou didn't plan to have the dating that started two months ago even though it's not yet a relationship already according you to invoke sex but you're fucking already, so plan to stop fucking immediately you start the relationship. Women always hiding like the ostrich.
You know all men cheat and you asked a question that has a yes or no answer to wit if he will cheat. Since a yes answer shocked you, change the question to not warrant a yes or no answer. He knows what he wants so if you know what you want, pursue it and damn the consequences.
Marriage never changes anybody. Everybody changes him/herself if and only if they want
I have read ur write ups twice and I regreted it both times. U type like I would if I was high on drugs. Sorry o! I am popular bv so I will go anon don't want to have u on my hate list cos it seems like you like typing memo's and blogfights and me don't have sharpmouth I will just cry if u insult me. Don't bother replying I won't come back to this post.
DeleteYou just 24years... You burdening your mind with issues like this.... Free your mind joor....
ReplyDeleteTry to improve on how to keep him sexually since you have given him the "crockeries"
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteFind another man and keep him as side boo. The 1st person to ask for your hand in marriage, marry that person.
ReplyDeleteAs for party, once he settle down and get responsibility with this buhari regime joined to it he will not even remember that party exist.
Do put all your eggs in one basket.
You like the way he dey sex you,so please leave the some how some how part next time.
I'm ara here mehn
*don't *
DeletePoster na trouble you dey look for or what? What sort of thinking is this. It is good to be careful and all that but don't start asking useless questions. It potrays you to be desperate. Anyway, na bcos of the gbenshing make u dey para.
ReplyDeleteThat Guy is not into you.he doesn't even see you as a wife but a plaything.Keep looking for your run of ribs and bone of your bones.
ReplyDeletePassingShot😎
That Guy is not into you.he doesn't even see you as a wife but a plaything.Keep looking for your run of ribs and bone of your bones.
ReplyDeletePassingShot😎
BAD NEWS 😬😬😡😡😞😞
ReplyDeleteMadam ur bf is just a very straightfoward smbdy. Dia r ppl lyk dat, he doesn't lie, he just says it as it is. U kno d truth is always bitter hence we avoid sm1 dat always says d truth. Pls nurture ur relationship wt him, a man dat does not lie z vry rare to find.
ReplyDeleteExactly
DeleteShe should nature the relationship with a fuck boy. Poster you are very immature, stop opening your legs and in case mistake happens let it not be this early.
DeleteI'd say the young man is being honest. The question however whether you can deal with the import of his honesty? Continue if you can.
ReplyDeleteIf you can't, then it is better to bow out honorably and move on, the sex you guys had notwithstanding.
Grace on.
He is honest with you but to me he is bad needs n not a husband material
ReplyDeleteNews***
DeletePoster please stop contradicting yourself! You're dating the guy but not in a relationship, then why is the thoughts of marriage running through your mind?
ReplyDeleteYou have to defined what you have with the guy first, you are not even sure of what you want. You are already sexually active with him and he told you to take things slowly, then what do you want to hear from us?
Please you both should go your separate ways, when you are sure of who you are and what you want, the right person will locate you.
Pls look for men n leaves boys alone
ReplyDeleteDear poster.. if you feel you people are not compatible please do not waste your time. you are still young, men that fit your criteria will come along. Don't place any importance to the sex.. it is nothing. what do i know sha? please allow me to join you and read comments...
ReplyDeleteErmmmmm...."for me to be in a relationship, it means I can marry the person." The way you said it like you are the one that will propose to the man. Suppose you are in a relationship and its someone you can marry; but the person doesn't propose to you. What happens?
ReplyDeleteYou said :"It's not like I want him to promise me marriage but that statement leaves me wondering Why he wants to be with me."..You then came here to say "He's 29 years old so it's not like he's too young to consider marriage."
So, my question is - what exactly are you saying or not saying??
You better cool down. This one wey you de rush man. Them nor de rush man marry oo. A word is enough...
Before my former boss got married, he used to come home at 1am or 2am every night, but that changed when he got married as he'll be home by 6pm. he could change when he gets married but that's not a certainty
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your youth
ReplyDeleteThis poster sounds desperate and confused. You are setting yourself up for failure. Let things flow as they may. Stop thinking about the ifs and nots. Let the young man be who he wants to be. And stop asking questions that make you out to be desperate. Not all relationships are guaranteed to end up in marriage. And don't think You can mould a man into what you want him to be. Enjoy your youth and do things that add value to your existence and align yourself with the right kind of friends and men. sex is over rated. Please you sound too young and emotionally you are not prepared for the hustle that is called life and love.
ReplyDeleteLol... This actually made me laugh. Sounds like a guy I met on June's SnM. So plain, sincere, n doesn't care if it hurts or not. He could be reading dis now, who knows. We r frnds now. Not frnds frnds o. Just there. So girl, relax ur mind. He told u plainly what most guys wouldn't. Allow him, n u shud also enjoy dis while it lasts. Just exercise some patience. Giv it a yr. Or babes, are you ready to settle down like now now? Relax dear. It's too early to start giving yourself headache. It's a relationship, enjoy it.
ReplyDeleteU can be sure the guy still wants to enjoy his life and go out with his friends. To me he doesn't sound that responsible and he might end up waiting ur time. And to the cheating part he said it like he meant it and do u knw the implications of a serial cheat (spritual curses and diseases) girl u ar too young to dive into this deep ocean Cuz it will carry u away and leave u dispressed. U will and can still find a better man u r just 24 so take ur time.
ReplyDeleteAfter a year and four months of anonymous comments, I finally created an ID.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand why most girls don't know what they want. From your narrative you feel him but not his lifestyle. Simple solution, create two master lists - of what you like about him that you would like him to build on. And another of the bad lifestyles that he needs to get rid of. Do not compromise your happiness. Plot it against each other and find out if you can cope. But in a way I like his honesty, meaning he will never change. Except when God intervenes, but before then my dear, you might have lost your personality
So leave your shoes behind and flee before the devil robs you off the joy of your youth.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWhy is every girl all about marriage, every relationship mustn't lead to marriage, once u hv dat mind set wen u meet a guy it removes all d fun in it calm down and enjoy d relationship,if u cant look for someone who'll promise u marriage when u meet,to me this guy doesn't sound like he's ready to settle down YET! It's either u relax and enjoy d relationship or quit. Ure just 24 calm down
ReplyDeleteDear poster, I don't think you need a soothsayer to tell you the relationship is doomed....
ReplyDelete@Poster 1: I don't understand your issue. You keep emphasizing on..''for me to date a guy, it is someone I can marry''!!!. If you think you can marry him, why you are then complaining about him...with my observation, I think you need to define what you guys are into..sit him down and have a conversation to know where both of you are heading..If there is nothing to make out of it..Why not opt out? You can't force to be committed to you..Besides you are 24 Years old..why not chill and forget about marriage for now, try to be friends with guys
ReplyDeleteIf you ain't prepared to be cheated on or to cheat too, then, let this young man go. No 2ways about this shit.
ReplyDeleteDear poster, if I were you I will not marry him. But I like the fact that he answered your question honestly. He has actually told you want will likely happen should you marry him.
ReplyDeleteIf I had just worried about marriage in my early twenties I am sure I wud ve been married by now, even nw in my late twenties I wuna get married but at the same time I am not pushing it.. probably why I am still single
ReplyDeletePoster you sound so naive, know what you want in a man and stick to your principles. The guy is being sincere, but are two comparable? you alone can answer that question and that is what you should be worrying over good luck.
ReplyDeleteRun run run there is fire on the mountain
ReplyDeletePlease go and read the book He's not just that into you by Greg something. It's free for download online. Read it and thank me later. This guy is not indirectly telling you that he is cheating, he is actually telling it to your face. Doesn't care if you walk away, doesn't care if it hurts you.
ReplyDeleteJust wants to fulfill his sexual desire and lust
Doesn't love you, period. Don't settle for less, Walk away and find someone who does.
Sometimes guys making careless statements like this is Gods way of making them reveal themselves. Common sense is also a gift from God.
By their fruits you shall know them.
And you cannot expect faithfulness from someone you fornicate with.
The best thing is to be chaste until marriage, and find a guy who believes in that too. That way y'all can prepaprepare your bodies and minds for marriage.
In other note!I have been visiting this wonderful blog for ages but decided to maintain low profile.I'm out to comment now yippee!Stella and wonderful BVs here u guys are the best!Linda Eze'kedu ije?
ReplyDeleteWhat do you actually want dear? You're dating a guy, have allowed him to have sex with you, yet you told him you're not into a relationship yet but studying him. He in turn told you he's not promising you marriage yet because it's too early and you're shocked and wondering why he wants to be with you. Aren't you contradicting yourself? This is a guy you've known for about 10months before you started dating, you ought to have known about his habits and if he fits into your ideal man or not.
ReplyDeleteI tik relationship btw adults of some certain age should b defined o, most men don't wannu promise marriage in case it didn't get to marriage, u won't use it against dem... Get ursef a spare boo... His clubbing shouldn't boder u, he could stop wen he gets married or u both go togeda, deris norin badt dere na....
ReplyDeletemadam poster, you obviously don't know what you want. you're just so confused and desperate. must every relationship lead to marriage? is he d only guy asking you out? must you even sleep with him in d ist place? maybe u are ugly and u have low self esteem. its obvious d guy is not really into you. he only wants d cookie and he has gotten it on a platter of gold. be there asking waec question while he is busy enjoying himself
ReplyDeleteU re desperate my friend
ReplyDeleteEvery relationship must not end in marriage
U can not use sex to keep a man
Pls that guy is straight forward person and I like him for that
We ladies we always want a man that will lie to us
Tell us what is not existing and what we want to hear
My friend apply sense joor
I am going to give it to you point blank. The guy is not ready to settle down now and i don't see him as someone who will even be ready at 37 to settle down. If you know you need a playmate, carry on. Otherwise, i will just advise you to look for love elsewhere and don't end up wasting your time
ReplyDeleteand driving away suitable suitors.
"a man dat does not lie is very rare to find" blah blah blah rubbish! Saying dat shit to ur face is the most demeaning thing to do. He has no atom of respect for you. You deserve better my dear. Wait for the right man with the right attitude to real life issues.
ReplyDeletePoster I beg u in the name of God don't ruin Ur life wt Ds man. If a devil tells u he is a devil would u continue a relationship wit him just because he told u d truth ? Pls apply wisdom and do not settle for less else u would even get much less dan u deserve and his excuse wld b dat he told u upfront. U r still young I advise u to put watever feelings u have aside and move on. Not all relationships end in marriage bcz of faulty foundations and because it wasn't defined from d onset. Pls save yourself a future of chronicles and move on no matter wat it takes. Remember dat whatever decision u make weda good or Bad u would b d one to eida enjoy or bear it. My two cents tho.
ReplyDeleteMz Hillzzzzz
Poster why don't you just enjoy the relationship and take it one day at a time. You are so worried about everything. It's bad. I bet you he has already seen how desperate you are. You sound like the type of person who sees husband in every man that says "hello" be careful or you will end up hurt and with the wrong person. Be grateful he is even honest with you. If you can't bring yourself to like him the way he is and accept some of his flaws(no one is perfect), then move on! Try and relax and remember not every relationship ends in marriage. Try friendship
ReplyDeletei used to be in a relationship like urs. infact, i av this feeling that he is the one u just wrote about. His name starts with Ab.... while his surname starts with A. Babe, pls do not waste ur time. u are not to young at the age of twenty-four to know where you are heading to.
ReplyDeletePoster, there are SO MANY things wrong with your story. As a woman, your first responsibility is to PROTECT yourself at all times, but you have fallen so short. First off, you have made the mistake of telling him it's not a relationship yet, thereby not only cheapening yourself (seeing as you've already allowed him to fuck you), but now you can't hold him to any standard and he doesn't feel obligated to "impress you" with his good man characteristics because he doesn't see you as his girlfriend.
ReplyDeleteNext, you are already thinking about marriage, and that's too too long term as you both have different lifestyles. Not every relationship has to be serious, not everything should lead to marriage. In fact, you should hold yourself in such HIGH ESTEEM as a woman while still being sweet and humble, and watch men FLOCK around you and start mentioning marriage the first time they talk to you. You don't think he's good enough to be your boyfriend but you've already given him the greatest boyfriend benefit ever.
Hvae you tried going out with him on his nights out? Loosen up a bit. Men like good girls who want to be bad for just them alone. This guy has made it clear he's out to have fun whether you join him or not. If by evaluating his characteristics you feel you cannot cope, let him go and save yourself the heartbreak and emotional wahala hanging over your head like a black cloud.
Be confident in yourself and watch men run over themselves for you. Even if you are thinking about marriage, 2 months is too early to mention it to ANY MAN. Haba. You have made yourself out to be so desperate in his eyes, and he's talking anyhow because he can sense that you can't wait to CAGE him and lock him in the house. Girl. Men love thier freedom.
Bottom line, he's not serious and the foundation of your "dating" is already so..... somehow. My suggestion is you just free him biko.
Please get the book "WHY MEN LOVE BITCHES". It'll change your whole dating parade.
ReplyDeleteGirl Who packed potato chips inside your skull? So you saw all these and heard all he said and you spread you legs wide for him? He will; dump you. If you don't run, you'd get depressed, feel guilty to the point of suicide (especially if you abort for him), you'd be saddled with a pregnancy and will be looked at as a whore. Indeed, you've made yourself a "serial whore" by accepting to have sex with any boy that comes your way. It is time to repent of this evil way.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, the decision is yours. But the obvious truth is there's no perfect man out there. Pple changes, they grow up to be a better person and vice versa. More so, the relationship is still very young. Enjoy the moment and allow your character decides if you are marriageable or not. Ensure not to nag but rather make your point or observation/argument objective.tkia
ReplyDeleteI just found out that my fiance is a drug dealer and we have fixed date for our introduction. What will itell my parents bvs please advise me. Am madly in love with him so confused right now. My spirit is telling me to forget him a better guy will come. He said he was pushing before but have stopped he has boys that sells for him
ReplyDelete#If you wait until you're ready, you will be waiting the rest of your life*
ReplyDeleteHe has giving straight answer, what else do you want to hear
ReplyDeleteDo not think of marriage or mere friendship but think of having fun(sex); is that what majority here are saying?
ReplyDeleteFornicators ALWAYS turn out ADULTERERS when there is NO REPENTANCE! SIMPLE!
Poster my only advice to you, if ur thinking of settling down in a yr or 2. Which means 25/26. This guy is not for you.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy the relationship while it last, but pls open ur mind to other guys. Meaning date other people. Let this guy not be ur only option. It may take this guy atleast 6/7 yrs to settle down. If you can wait, na you know. But even den he may not marry you.
Just enjoy ur self while opening ur mind to other guys.
Poster.
ReplyDeleteYou are wasting your time.
That man has told you all you need to know and you're still here asking questions. I wonder what other signs you need to see to know that this man does not take you seriously at all.
I no get power to type things about small small children matter, I beg. I be aunty gwegwe
ReplyDelete