Saturday In House Gists...

Side eyes....

GIST ONE

My Camp experience

I was in my bedspace after having a cool bath. A relief from ‎almost 24hours trip. What am I evening saying? It's been more than 24 hours jare.

My thoughts drifted to how stressful the last 24 hours have been. The trip, having to carry my box of clothes and provisions on my head‎ following the instructions from soldiers. The long queue of Otondos trying to be the 1st in everything like we are in a competition.

Finally got a mattress after a time that seems like forever. Went to the blocks of building and got myself a good space. 

Foluke my new camp friend finally finished up. We were both dresses like the otondos that we were.

Foluke : Babe you dey smell nice o. Your make up sef is on point.

Me : Thank you dear.

Foluke : what's the name of your perf?

Me : it's a combination of many.

Double up my friend. Carry it with your hand if it's too heavy.

That's oga soldier referring to me. You see, I am a size 10 back to front with figure 8. Though we didn't answer him, that prompted him to shakara us with koboko so we finally ran and they were happy to see my water melons jingle.

We finally got to the parade ground still looking frosh. You know what, all along while on our way we noticed that 1 or 2 flies were disturbing us but we just didn't read meanings to it. The sun was so scrotching that day.

Then the unexpected happened, I was visited by the unexpected visitors. Flies!!!. They came in their hundreds. They lined on my lips‎ like they were also on parade. I was still chasing those when the head and body attackers gave me a 9c chase.

Chai! I was screaming and dancing like 1 masquerade in my village like that. Some were laughing while a few dey pity me. Then the wicked soldier that asked us to double up came with his own advice: he said I should roll on the floor. Somebody pour water on her. Different water bottles started flowing.

Immediately I started rolling and the laughter increased. I finally took the decision of running to my room‎ by then my white had turned to brown

My fellow BV you can imagine what the remaining 2 wks felt like. I later discovered that you don't use perfume in Sokoto because it breeds flies after you

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GIST TWO

This Gist happened few years back.. I fear dog pass every other thing.
When I went to Trans-Ekulu Enugu to stay with my Aunt.

As a new-bie in the street; all the guys wants to be my friend But I don't look their way.

Every evening, I would dress on a shot dress and cat-walk from our street to the next one to buy sweet N5. Just to get noticed ... I loved attention then, and The guys always sit under the mango tree at the end of the street.

One day;  as I was cat-walking as usual; i turned back, saw a mighty dog jogging towards my direction.

>>>>>>Fast forward.<<<<<<

*****I found myself been backed properly by a guy, like a mother that is backing her months old baby. Many people were standing by their gates watching. Some were laughing, some were smiling, while some looked surprised and confused*****

How did that happen???

*****When I saw the Dog. I started running, shouting for help on top of my voice and that attracted everybody's attention including my "carrier" who sighted me shouting and running towards them and ran forward to rescue me. I ran to him and maybe climbed his back for safety*****

Waaaaat!!

To make matters worst.. My short, tight gown was thorn into pieces as I was running. There I was at the guy's back showing my nakedness to everyone.

**No dog was even on sight sef**

I quietly asked my"carrier" to pls put me down.. The guy started laughing ooo. Out of anger.. I shouted on top of my voice for him to drop me..
Everybody started laughing out loud.

I jumped down from his back and ran straight home with ten toes.
When I was running home, I saw the mumu dog standing with the owner in front of their gate, maybe laughing at me too...lol

It happened that the Dog didn't even pursue me. He was only walking home. Its two houses away from where I saw him before turning myself to Usain Bolt that they were standing. Which was even far from where I started my run sef..mtchwwww.

I ran home and packed my things and went back to my parents biko.
I didn't even tell my Aunt my reasons.
It was Two days after Av gone home that my Aunt called my mother to take me to church for deliverance because she heard how I acted like a mad girl in their street.

I told my family the true story.

Everybody had a good laugh.

The winner of last week's gist has been credited with 10k today,the other 10k is up for grabs for today and our darling Jmaes will help us pick the winner again either from these two or from the comment section if there is any..

The ''Asao'' story of last week pissed me off and i do not believe the story.

I was really really irritated when i saw a comment this morning asking if she won the money that the itch had increased....Like WTF..ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

I am supposed to pay for the consequences of your gbenshing around without protection?You mean you cannot go out there and look for money to treat yourself and you are waiting for the 10k all these while?

I think you should be smart enough to get money for your treatment my dear if your story is true.

Close your legs and reflect on how you want your life to be.....Not Judging you,just pissed with the manner you asked this morning!

10k up for grabs!