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Thursday, September 01, 2016

Omugwo Chronicles -43

This is a different kind of Omugwo!




Greetings Stella, so I read your post about the single parents singles and mingles and it made me wonder why no single mum ever sent it Omugwo chronicle so I am taking the bulls by the horn. 

This might be long but oh well.

A little background, after being a mermaid for a year plus I finally did 'IT' with an old friend, 3 weeks later I had the worst cramps of my life that I had to go to the hospital for pelvic scan. Because I wasn't 'collecting' from anyone I didn't bother tracking my menstrual circle so when the cramps started I thought it was my period but there was no blood so that scared me that I had to go see a gynae. 

He recommended a PT only for the result to come out +. Stella see me and confusion. 'Collecting'  wey no last up to 15mins and this is the result? I was numb. 

I am an extroverted introvert, I have few friends and confide in only 1. I cried and cried with my pillow and my bed. After a few days I decided to keep the baby. The odds were in my favour somehow. I am a graduate and I had a small job I was doing and lived on my own though 23. I figured I could do it. 

I did tell the father to be and he suggested I abort it but I refused. Stella that was how my pregnancy journey started o.

 I used to be very close to my mum and I feared what the news will do to her cause she had so much hope for a super rich son in-law as I am not bad looking, I knew even my extended family will be so disappointed because they believe me to be very smart and assertive. 

I jejely didn't tell anyone till my last trimester when I told my mum. All hell broke loose. From threatening me, to forcing me to provide the man to come marry me, to guilt tripping me I had it all. Fast forward to 9months, went for ante natal with back pain doc said it was time. Started labouring from 1pm till the next day, it was hellish. I still wonder how some women do it more than once and some even 4 to 5 times. 

After 36hours of labor I was so weak and scared I might not be able to push when it's time to do so. So I asked for the doc and opted for CS. Thank God for my friend who was there and my sis who came in the next day. I had my baby around 5pm the next day. When I came out of the theatre I called my mum to deliver the news, she came to the hospital the next day spent the night and left saying people at home will be wondering where she went to as she hadn't told anyone I was pregnant.


 My sis stayed with me till we went home after 4days. While at the hospital the nurses bathed my baby, my major concern was how I was going to do it with my fresh incision. I had already prepared myself for no omugwo seeing as my mum was yet to come to terms with me being pregnant.

 I joined many pregnancy groups online and many of those oyibo women didn't have anyone to help them so I told myself I could do it as well. It was hard. The 1st morning at home my sis and I didn't know what to do. The baby was so small, I was scared I'd break him and I couldn't even bend to give him a bath. I knelt and squatted and sat giving him a bath all the while crying.

 Later in the day my friend visited and suggested I go tell my neighbor to help with baths till I am stronger. Luckily the lady agreed and came mornings and evenings to bath my baby. Chores were done by my sis while I minded my baby morning and night. I wouldn't even let him out of my sight.  A day to his circumcision my mum came saying I can't handle a circumcised baby and she stayed for 4 days before she left. 

4 days spent berating me and telling me I need to get married and what a shame I brought on everyone. I had my bundle of joy so nothing anyone said was going to get to me.


 9months later my baby and I are doing great, got another job with better pay in a different city so baby goes to daycare while I work. Only thing I would have done differently is eat and eat and eat while pregnant since I ended up having a CS after eating all the fruits, nuts and veggies so my baby will be small and easy to push and I won't be fat, exclusive breastfeeding still made me fat. 


On a final note, unmarried ladies, biko become mermaids o except you know you can have an abortion as childcare is damn expensive especially if you want the best of everything for your baby and you do owe any child you bring into this world the best. 




*Wow,your baby is so BEAUTIFUL and I thank God you didnt abort the preggy
Folders of Omugwo and WNB empty...Send yours if you want it to continue,otherwise we will rest it until another story comes along



63 comments:

  1. Eayah it is well. Your mummy did not try at all. Some mothers em let me not say.

    Good you gave the advice to our young ladies. Congrats on your omugwo.

    I hope you have closed your legs now abi the thing still open. let me use lucile coconut oil to close it tight for you.

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    Replies
    1. Lmao. My dear no need for Lucile's coconut oil. The legs are closed tightly. More than a mermaid's sef. Even if you peep you won't see anything

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    2. Don't blame the mother abeg. U won't understand

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    3. I BLAME THE MOTHER! She did not try at allll! I'm so happy for you. Show those people condeming you that you will not be a cliche. I know you and your beautiful baby will surprise everyone in the best way.

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  2. Stella is on fire today. bringing it hot.

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  3. Na wah oh!...
    I'm happy you have a job at least the suffering will be less!...
    No child should be brought into this world to suffer!...
    Shey you know you are now a minus one...work on your weight and attract a decent man!...

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    1. Lol@minus one.
      I pray she finds someone to marry

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    2. Nne I disagree o. I am not minus anything. I complain about my weight because I used to be a lekpa. Men still stop to chat with me and the first thing I wanna scream is 'I have a son'. I am not interested sha, my focus now is on my son and my job so mega bucks will be made.

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  4. God bless you and your baby dear.

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  5. I am so proud of you. I hope the self righteous women don't come here to judge you. You are better off by yourself. I am a divorced mother of two beautiful kids and I am ever so proud of my babies. Better to be by yourself than be married and living single. Jade.

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  6. Thank God for you. Don't go searching for a divorcée or widower O. You're still fresh n young

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  7. This is indeed different from the ones I have read here. You have a good sister, God be with you and your baby.

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  8. Awww, brave girl. More power to your elbow. Yeah, childcare isn't easy o.

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  9. Poster I admire your courage. The Lord will continue to provide for you and help you take care of baby. I pray He also provides you a good husband who will love and accept you and your child. Sending warm e-hugs your way.

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  10. OK thank God for keeping the baby and taking care of him, it won't be a regret to you. But why did you have unprotected sex in this era of HIV and other stds Hmmmm u get mindooo. How come you didn't take emergency contraceptive after that Hmmmm u are careless but all the same thank God you have a job to sustain you both.

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  11. You are really strong. All the best for you and your little one.

    Stella, start Divorce Series. Let's all get a full picture on life.

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  12. poster you try and God saw you thru.

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  13. that was great l pray that god should continue to strengthen u the more

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  14. Wow u did great n i like dt u didnt even prepare urself for omugwo.u r a great woman n a mother.

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  15. Poster in love your courage.....may God keep you and the boy in good health....abortion is not good....thank God i kept mine and it turned out to be twins.

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  16. Nice one. Self reliance people. You could make the decision because you already had something (no matter how small) going. You write so well too. Kisses to your baby. What of the baby daddy? Has he come around?

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  17. Truth is,when a woman hasn't been sexually active in ages, ,the first unprotected sex,is lightly to result in pregnancy.

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  18. Truth is,when a woman hasn't been sexually active in ages, ,the first unprotected sex,is lightly to result in pregnancy.

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  19. poster is one strong woman...

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  20. poster is one strong woman...

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  21. I LOVE YOUR CHRONICLE BECAUSE OF THE STRENGTH YOU EXHIBITED THROUGHOUT, I CAN ONLY IMAGINE WHAT IT MUST HAVE BEEN LIKE IN OUR HARSH AND JUDGEMENTAL SOCIETY. I AM MARRIED WITH THREE CHILDREN BUT I WILL NOT SAY ANYTHING NEGATIVE TO YOU AND MARK THIS DAY THAT THAT CHILD WILL BRING YOU NOTHING BUT JOY AND HONOUR, IGNORE EVIL COMMENTS, GOD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS A LOT OF TIMES, I HAVE A FRIEND WHO HAD A BABY AFTER WE LEFT SECONDARY SCHOOL, SHE EVENTUALLY GOT MARRIED TO A MAN THAT PRACTICALLY WORSHIPS HER, TAKE CARE OF THAT CHILD VERY WELL. MY HUBBY TOLD ME THAT HE WISHES THE BEST FOR OUR DAUGHTERS BUT IF A MISTAKE HAPPENS ALONG THE LINE NO BABY WILL BE ABORTED, HE WILL NEVER DISOWN THEM AND HE WILL ACCEPT HIS GRANDCHILD. LIFE IS UNPREDICTABLE. GOD HELP US ALL.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for your comment. I applaud your hubby's stance. You guys should also give them sex education and on time too. Please don't shy away from it. Thanks for the prayers. I appreciate.

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  22. God continue to be your strength dear poster.

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  23. #Everybody doesn't see the world like you do. There's no reason to get offended when you realize they don't*

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  24. Reading this just made me teary, and I don't understand why. A very big e-hug to you and your baby, may the Almighty God continue to keep and bless you both. May the good Lord continue to provide you with the means and wisdom to raise him right. Lastly may he continue to be a source of constant joy for you.

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    1. Awwwn. Reading your comment made me teary eyed as well. Thanks for your prayers.

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  25. awwwwwwwhhhhh.....your story is so sweet nd bitter...buh at d end ur happiness and dat of ur child is wat matas .


    stella the time to type no dey...i think thats y d folder is empty

    husby were @ thou..so i can send my WNB already..!

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  26. Single mothers shld send theirs like this our sister.

    You try

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  27. I hope that old friend of yours is not married?if he is not, he might still decide to marry you....#e hugs

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    1. Abeg what kind of evil prayer is that?!!! Please I reject that loser for her. After suffering going through all the share and giving birth to a beautiful baby, he will now carry his irresponsible self to reap where he did not sew. If marriage is her wish, She will meet a responsible, kind gentleman, that will adore and love her and her child.

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  28. Wow! Your story is so inspiring,you are such a strong woman,I respect you even though I don't know who you are,I wish I was as strong as you,I aborted 2 of my babies out of fear and shame,today I regret it,I wish I had your kind of stregnth am married now and still TTC,if only I kept those one I will not be that worried n sad today

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    1. God will definitely do for as He did for people of old. Keep faith. If we keep thinking of what people will say we will always live our lives to please people. I will say a prayer for you too.

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    2. Awwwwww
      Don't worry, God will answer your prayer...Amen!

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  29. The lord is your strength. >It will end in praise<

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  30. i aint gonna judge you bcoz me sef no be saint. i fuck but i am smart enough to use protection or contraceptives, unless na God wan just catch me i dont see my self becoming a single mum now.
    i can only imagine what you went thru, good thing you have learnt your lesson.
    learn to cross your leg like a mermaid or be smart enough to do the needful when hanging legs on the window.

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    1. Lol. Let's hope God doesn't decide to catch you. Indeed I learnt a lesson and I hope you too did o because even those contraceptives are harmful on the long run. In short, let's all just become mermaid's biko.

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  31. May God continue to strengthen you, you are very brave to keep the pregnancy, your baby will forever be a source of blessing to you, good decent man will locate you soon.

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  32. I like you so much already poster one
    Your baby will bring you so much Joy, you'd see
    I also know you will meet an awesome man when the time is right
    *hugs and kisses*
    Ooops.....no homo.....lol

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  33. Nice one. Its not easy raising a child on your own. Your case is even worse because your mum was not supportive.

    All the best to you and your son.

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  34. Wow....so amazed at ur strength and determination all alone. May you live to reap ur fruits!

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  35. Dear poster ehugs for you and your son. He shall be counted among the blessed and great ones in his generation. I pray God looks upon you with mercy and make you happy indeed. Better man dey come marry you dear...Mark my words. I have seen real life situations like yours and the ladies got married to great guys later on. You're better than those who aborted their babies. It is well with you dear

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  36. I love your story. So inspiring. You are obviously a strong woman. I pray God rewards your courage in doing what most of us could not, I. E keeping the baby. And thanks for emphasizing the advice to single ladies. Them no dey hear word! All the heartache they world save themselves by just tying those legs together because when you will be suffering all the wahala that comes with being a single mom, the yeye guy who got you preggers will have even forgotten he once shagged you sef!

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  37. Strong woman!!! Women lets learn to be supportive of our children in all circumstances and forget society. People will always talk. God bless you and baby always. I was raised by a single loving mother. She de reap rewards today.

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