Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narratives..

Serious ISH...

NARRATIVE NUMBER 1

STINGINESS FROM THE PIT OF HELL.

Hello Stella,

I decided to write to you when I read one of the stories on chronicles of blog visitors about her guy being stingy.
Here is my story: I met a guy while working, he had a business and he was pretty comfortable with a very good car and house.  Six months after we started dating, le boo had never given me as little as #200 for anything, I on the other hand will get him clothes, shoes or any nice thing I know he can use but he never got me a single item or even a #100 recharge card even when I visit him; 10 kobo will not drop from his hand, (even if I say that I don't have data, le boo will tell me that his data too is about to finish!).

Sometimes he'll tell me he's broke and i'll see that his account balance is over a million naira!  He even got a second car! (meanwhile he doesn't have a problem with asking me for money like babe, please give me #3,000 there, I don't have cash on me while I never asked for a dime so he doesn't feel I'm dating him because of his money). 

At the point the relationship was getting serious, I met his mum, family members and even his pastor, he met mine also. He was already on my case for us to do our introduction (so I was not a side chick). I was the one cooling him down because I really liked him but I wanted to watch him some more.

After about a year in the relationship, I quit my job to run my Masters program and I was not really getting money like when I was working so I had a heart to heart discussion with boo that it's being over a year and he has not given me one naira not even for my hair or upkeep. He was very remorseful and promised to change. The day I was about to travel, he gave me #5,000.... I was relieved that after all, he is not stingy (story!). 

6 months later I had an emergency and begged him to lend me #50,000 and he gave me a few days later asking for when I intend to return his money, I told him about two weeks. After the 2weeks, I didn't have the money yet so I told him to give me a few more weeks. About 3 weeks later, he called saying he was in urgent need of the money so I sourced for money, sent it to him about 4 days later and apologised for the delay and he told me no problem.

That evening I was with him and I was checking his phone for someone's address;  lo and behold, I saw the transfer I made to him and his account balance was #2,600,000!

I was so shocked! 

This is someone that in all of our two years relationship, #5,000 was the only thing I got from him!
Anyway, I took stock of my life and knew he was stingy (even in marriage I doubt if he will take care of his responsibilities), he kept pressurizing me for introduction and traditional wedding but I refused...  I broke up with him and met someone else, this new guy doesn't have as much as my Ex but if he has #5,000 he will send me #2000! 

Most times I tell him not to bother, he doesn't own a car but just managing. However, he cares for me and the little he has he tries his best. It's not about the amount of money he has but the love and care, love is giving!  Even if it's as little as a#100 recharge card! 

 It shows that you are on your partner's mind, you can't be in love and not give your money!  It's not possible. My Ex is trying to get me back now but it's not happening! 

Come December, I'll be getting married to my new boo and I do not regret my decision. If he doesn't change when you are dating, trust me he won't change in marriage!

Hmmmm!!!...Something struck me in all you said ''you cannot be in love and not give your money!''...I said these same words to someone but obviously 

it seems being stingy is inborn for some people..they wanna take it all,including emotionally but give nothing in return..good ridiance to your bad rubbish!

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NARRATIVE NUMBER 2
HEED PASTOR'S ADVICE OR GO HUSTLE...

Good Day Stella of life!

I'm a regular reader of your blog even though I hardly comment. God bless you for all the good work you have been doing.

Stella something has been eating me up for months.

I'm 27years from a family of 6 and the first child. A graduate, worked for two years before the branch of the company where I worked was closed down because we weren't making much profit. 

I got another job but the stress was much and had to quit.

 In 2013, I discovered I had Fibroid while I was serving as a corps member.
After NYSC, I went for a scan and was told I had ovarian cyst, the radiologist told me it wasn't fibroid. Later again, doctors said it was an infection, after some time they discovered fibroid again. I started having symptoms; heavy bleeding and blood clotting during monthly period.

 My period always comes with severe pains. I was a Muslim but converted to Christianity so my pastor told me not to have any operation that he saw spiritually that if I do It will start again after sometime and by then they will say they have to evacuate my womb so if I marry what would be the joy of the marriage without kids.

Mind you, I don't even have a boyfriend let alone getting married soon. So the pastor says I should believe in God because there is nothing God can't do so he kept praying and giving me anointing water to use. I left my job because the fibroid was really affecting me and even had blood shortage (21%) which the doctor said was very low so was placed on medication and told to eat lots of veggies. While working I saved little to enable me start a business but when I came home, things were pretty difficult because my parents had not been paid their 6months salary. I'm sure most people know what's happening in Kogi State, some got paid while some are yet to be paid even though they are cleared.

Now I borrowed them little by little till I finished everything in my account (I couldn't ignore assisting them knowing I could and seeing them hungry doing nothing). I was thinking they will be paid soon but till now nothing from Kogi State government. I have been looking for a job going for interview but yet nothing.  

Now my main problem is that I am really frustrated, so fed up of staying at home doing nothing but my pastor keeps telling me not to travel yet that the time isn't right that I'm still undergoing deliverance(due to some spiritual attacks most times). He says something good is about to happen and I know he is someone that his words do come to pass. 

I don't know what to do or where to go but I have told my mum by middle of next month if nothing happens, I'Il be leaving home. I don't care what they think or say right now, I can't remain like this.

My mum is worried because every month my period begins, it's another war of pains and heavy bleeding, I always visit the hospital every month so she is thinking of who will be ready to take care of me when it starts.

The doctor says the fibroid is 4 in numbers; 2 of it is about 6cm right inside my womb while the other 2 is 3cm outside. So my mom is also worried that what if they tamper with my womb during the surgery, would I  be able concieve?

Stella what do I do? No job,  no capital for business, battling with fibroid and in the midst of all these, there's no man in my life, no one to talk to. I feel so lost, these days I cry myself to bed.

Do I defy the pastor's warning and travel or remain at home doing nothing till I die of frustration.

Should I go ahead for the surgical removal of the fibroid?

What if my womb gets affected and don't have kids at all when I eventually get married or the fibriod grows back and my womb might need to be taken out totally because I heard fibroid grows back and the only permanent solution to fibroid is total evacuation of the womb.

I did a catering program during my NYSC so am thinking of relocating somewhere to learn how to bake  cake and learn make up and gele tying.

I am so frustrated and confused. I need BVS advice please. Sorry for the long epistle, I just need to pour my heart out. God bless you! Kisses

*I am totally at a loss for what to say!