Hmmmm.....Every young woman out there seems to be looking for some kind secure future..which is good!
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
LEAVING A BROKE ASS BOYFRIEND FOR 'GREENER PASTURE'
Hi Stella, I'm a big fan of your blog. I'm 22 and I'm a Corps member. I'm in a relationship with a guy I love so much. He's 23 and will be serving next year April. We started dating when we were in our final year after being close friends for a year.
I am very sure my boyfriend loves me so much and he is the only one I'm comfortable around and open my entire mind to (I'm a chronic introvert). Our relationship has been filled with love and understanding but he is not financially stable to take care of my needs which makes the relationship boring.
We do not get to go out, no gift on vals day or on my birthday, he can't even afford to buy me a nice meal (yh, he's that broke).
This issue is the only reason why we fight a lot in the relationship. I'm really confused whether to leave him so I can find a 'greener pasture'. My friends are in a relationship with financially stable men and it makes me embarrassed
concerning mine.
Another thing I'm scared of is cos my parents marriage was a disaster, my dad was poor when my mum was dating him but she decided to struggle with him till he was ok but my dad ended up cheating on her when he was rich and now they are separated. I'm scared that history might repeat itself again. I am really sure my bf loves me, he's a really matured guy and very faithful plus hardworking but you know how the future can be filled with uncertainties.
Please I need your advice.
............................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
TAKING A RISK WITH A JOBLESS EDUCATED BOYFRIEND
Dear Stella,
please I need your sound counsel (your very faithful red pen) and the realistic, sometimes brutal advice of BV's.
I will be 24, in a few months and I have a decent job by some standards, I am in a relationship with an amazing man who is in his early 30's. I met him at a time when I had completely surrendered the wheel of my destiny to God.
God answered my prayers and much more in this man, I'm not saying he is perfect and neither am I but we compliment each other. He has a Masters degree(first class) and he is presently running his PH.D program but no job. I have never met anyone as hardworking as he is, he takes his research work really seriously I'm talking pulling all nighters everyday, reading and doing research in his field. He is not a lazy man, when he is not studying or doing his research he does blue collar jobs to make some money.
Stella every week he applies to over 12 universities on an average for jobs, he applies for scholarships to schools abroad but all to no avail, believe me when I say we have prayed, we have fasted. I know this is one of those painful delays that we must face as individuals in our journey in life. He has asked me to be patient with him, he tells me that this is a phase in his life and that soon he will get a job but my parents don't see it that way.
They are telling me to start considering other options, that with the way the economy is going there is no telling when he will get job.
Stella I love this man and I am fully committed to our relationship, he has a lot of potential and I know that someday he will make a wonderful husband and an amazing father but what if my parents are right? what if this phase of his life never goes away. As it is we cant get married until he has a good job, my parents will not hear of it.
Stella, BV's please I need your counsel do you think I'm taking a risk considering that there is no telling when he will get a job? or do you think that sticking with him and standing firm on my resolve to be patient with him is a healthy decision?
is well.
ReplyDeletePlease if you see potentials in a man don't leave,just cos he doesn't have today doesn't mean he won't have 2morow.@poster 1 n 2
DeletePoster one, don't leave him coz you're comparing him with your friends boyfriends.
DeleteThat's why a guy who hasn't started work or doing something doesn't have a biz having a gf. I don't even know jor.
Poster 2, endure with him. But how is he sponsoring himself for the PhD? PhD isn't beans o.
But if after a while he hasn't blown, please respect yourself and move on
I met a guy when I was 29 and head no job...after 4yrs of graduation.. We are same age.
DeleteI started a small business n was managing myself, he had NOTHING!!!
We kept on keeping on,I focused on taking of myself and praying to God to better my lot,he lost hope countless time but i kept encouraging him.I tried and got him to move closer to God,focus on God..he tried several businesses but was duped.lost almost 2,5million.
Fast forward, 4yrs later,we had introduction and registry on top "faith"...his first job right after d court was as a driver!but I told him to do it and be diligent. The Bible says he who is diligent on his work will stand not bow before kings...
We had no house,yet we survived... He was a driver for 4months,the job he got came when we least expected, infact he had forgotten he sent his CV d previous year online.
Long story short,within a year,6 months,God showed up amd manifested big time...we had our wedding, Nobody left hungry or dissatisfied, even had excess,got an amazing apartment beyond our expectations sef,God still crowned with a vehicle for us to move around... All within a year....
Pray and stay close to God.stop thinking about money or the guys condition
You guys are still young and might not even be couple eventually. Grow yourself mentally, spiritually, educationally etc,the rest will fall into place.
You can never determine a man's future from his present condition
..only a Lazy man ends up wretched bcos even if he gets thrown into wealth, he will he too lazy to maintain or multiply.
Shalom!
Ladies will find good men and throw them away because of flimsy excuses later they will send chronicle to Stella on how their rich husbands maltreat them. A broke man today may become a billionaire in dollars tomorrow. Just keep developing yourself too so that when the supposedly broke man experiences a positive turn around you will be on same level and story of him dumping you for a more posh lady won't arise.
DeleteChronicles from girls below 28yrs is always boring. Yes am a dude.
DeleteHmmmmm kronicles ti de
ReplyDeleteSee them.... 😏😏
DeleteYou aren't thinking of how to better your lives. You're carrying men on your head like gala. Poster 1- 'My friends' Poster 2- 'my parents'. I didn't hear you say your friends and parents are encouraging you to press on with your lives. all they do is mock you and remind you about marriage. And you too you listen and let it affect you. See, what I have to say to both of you is this: in life, you can't eat your cake and have it. You wanna stay, stay and make the best of your relationship. You wanna go, go and never look back or have regrets later even if he becomes Dangote. But stop looking or listening to people. Concentrate on yourself and never stop making your life better.
I have friends who pretend like they are better than me to my face cos I'm unmarried, but they go behind my back to ask how I managed to do xx cos they haven't been able to. My parents who used to chant marriage on my head have kept quiet now that they've seen some things. sticking to your guns is the best thing you can do for yourself, cos people's opinions are relative to situations. We don't know anyone's future. But if you wanna stay, stay. If you wanna leave, move. Don't be doing this 'leg-in-leg-out' torture to yourself. Cos that doubt is probably the reason why prayers aren't even answered.
And both of you unprepared for marriage, from what I see. Don't even go there right now.
Lastly, don't close your heart completely. Date and listen to other toasters. But because you want to marry now now now, you won't even look beyond your nose. Did they say relationship is for you to go and die there?
DeleteNever commented on dis blog but...on dis post, ur so on point like a ballpoint pen.
DeleteNice one..and true, they both aren't ready f marriage
Poster 2, I hope your bf's name is not Ikenna that lives in ph?
ReplyDeleteI started my fashion designing training today as job no want come make i kuku make myself useful. Lord take control
Abi, also starting fashion designing classes on Monday. Upon all the masters I have......
DeleteAnyway, I must make it in this life mehn
Poster 2, the phase will definitely blow over. It's difficult, but with patience and doggedness you both will pull through. Keep encouraging him, also he can think of a business to start in this economy. God's guidance and speed.
DeleteJesus Christ will fix it
ReplyDeleteThis is probably the most stupid chronicle I have come across. Both of you make me ashamed to be a woman. I recommend you read today's "Memo to women" by BV Raphael.
DeleteIf the both of you are 22 and 23 and you are this desperate for marraige? How will women in their 30's and 40's act?
Poster 1: What exactly do you expect from a 23 year old that hasn't even served? His life is just starting. If he was in his late 20s or 30s God knows I will be on your side but a 23 yr old? His problem isn't even that he is lazy, he has been focusing on his studies like 23 yr olds shld. If you are looking for someone that will spend on you, why the hell are you dating a student? And a 23 yr old? "HE can't take care of my personal needs" Err what happend to your hands? Are you disable? Didn't you call the needs "personal ". As much as i hate stingy men, I cant women like you. This guy cld have a bright future but you want to dump him cos he isn't buying you iphone7 or Brazilian hair like your friend's bf? Do you want him to start stealing? Do you know how many women but things themselves and lie it's from "bae"? Do you know what he will get you tomorrow? Why can't your parents take care of your needs? Learn a trade like your mates so you can take care of your personal needs.#BoyfriendNotATM God knows that I am not against men spendind, i can't date a stingy man but the time of this poster is so annoying.
Poster 2: So you can wait for another 2 years? You'll be 25 by then and that still young. The only reason why I am not as irritated with your post is that your bf is in his late 30's and he shld have realized that in today's world people just don't submit cv's and fold arms. He shld have started a business by now. He maybe book smart but he isn't street smart. You cld risk it by leaving him but then that may when things will start to click for him and one babe from nowhere will reap where she didn't sow or you cld stay with him amd he will continue be broke. I'll hate to be in your shoes tbh. Goodluck
The best counsel ever...nicely said
DeleteI wonder what manner of advice you people give here, only God will save young girls from big sister like una, what's wrong with a 23 year old lady thinking about marriage? Is it until you are 30+ before you start plans for marriage
DeleteU are wisdom personified!
DeleteGod bless you for this...A man is not a meal ticket.
Delete😍
DeleteLol one babe will reap where she didn't sow? What has the poster down in his life? Is she doing his PhD for him? Did she get him his masters? Women with fake entitlements. Poster you are only making his journey easier if you leave. I'm sure he thinks much more and gets frustrated when he realizes he can't afford to do the things he wants to do. Life isn't gragra. Do what makes you happy and make sure you don't regret it In future because it was a decision you took.
Delete@ Roby God bless u
DeletePost 1, please don't push that guy to do what u'll not wish your brother just to make u happy
Post 2, Please don't leave him
That have a future, with d rate if New Private Universities sparing u never call tell
Your advise is so On point!!! Justice done, I couldn't agree any more.
DeletePresent twice...
DeleteYou made me answer present on this post Roby pls add me, just wana b ya friend. 2ad14fce.
Poster one:
ReplyDeleteYou want to be like your friends with very rich boyfriends? Did they tell you all the "sources of those funds"? Are you able to buy yourself a meal seeing that you were classmates with this guy? You are not even patient for him to begin working, you are already looking for meal tickets? That is why a lot of guys will "buy you girls" and use you as a furniture??
It is well with the two both of u
ReplyDeletePoster 1.
ReplyDelete.Broke men always claim to Love.
Have you heard of Vicious Circle?? If you stay it will repeat itself.
Pray to God for a financially stable Guy.
One of the greatest evil is categorizing or profiling people which constantly reflects when you display your myopic thinking. I hope you are making at least 6 figures in a month cause you keep tagging people as broke.
DeleteLol, broke ppl claim to love
DeleteBay, what six figures? From her name, you don't need anyone to tell you her breed. This girl abi woman is poorer than a church rat. Add her up on SnM and watch her beg you for recharge card endlessly. Very poor girl looking for a man to get her out of her self-inflicted poverty instead of working hard. She is here 24 hrs! How then does she earn a living? Begging of course.
DeleteLol. This is rich coming from the most desperate woman on sdk. With the way you put your business out here to beg for a bf, I know it's your type that toasts men. You are desperate enough to date a poor man and even pay for the wedding. But you'll come online and start forming badoo.
DeleteAnon 16.47
DeleteIlaje blood and her co travellers like the dirty queen of this blog are only looking for men to leech on. They still belong to the group of women whose life ambition is to marry a rich guy that can open a daily needs shop for them. Broke ass bitches!
Hahhaahhahahhahahahhahahahahha.
DeleteWho has ever added me on snm should talk or forever remain silent.
If you think I put my personal business on this blog you must be a joker!
A broke ass is a broke ass
One known fact about well to do people is that they refrain from calling struggling people names because they understand that all we received is by Grace. Hence, when you see people displaying inordinate character by calling people broke, it's certain they are not well off too and I am sure this is perfectly ILAJE blood's case.
DeletePoster one,go and work and make your own money. Imagine the rubbish.
ReplyDeleteposter 1 why don't you try and make your own money than depending on your bf for money. which lady is interested to wait on a man to become rich in this Buhari time? if you are not comfortable with your broke ass guy why don't you walk away?
ReplyDeleteStella no more chronicles from childeren pls.
Delete@1, all broke guys are very caring and loving, don't get stuck to a man who is permanently stagnant, dump his broke ass and move on, love will not pay your bills.
ReplyDelete@2, u will really know if this guy loves u when he starts working with Shell, potentials will not put food on ur table oh, u are sounding like this bcos u ve a job, imagine if u were jobless like him, ur boy friend has hard luck, tell him to go to Mof for deliverance, keep him as ur side boo, look for another guy abeg, I honestly don't know how u girls fall hopelessly in love with a broke man.
Nna mehn p1 for this bad economy you stuck yourself with broke dude nawah ooh.
DeleteOf course na them romantic pass cause that's all they can offer. They can give you all the attention you ever wish for because they have nothing else doing.
Guys don't be such a dude.
Girls don't date such dude.
This is a huge risk u both want to take oo.Nobody wants to suffer in future, nobody wants a man to dump responsibilities on her.Therefore,in this hard times the worst one can do is look into the future for any man.
ReplyDeleteFinancial stability is key but if u will rather chop love pls knock urself out.Be patient while u still look at other men who are interested in u.Who knows these 2 men may not be ur husbands.
Poster 1,
ReplyDeleteWhat are you doing with someone that can't take good care of you?...
A church rat!...
Abeg run as fast as your leg will carry you and dump his sorry ass!...
Do you even think he will marry you?...before you clock 30,you will start looking like his sugar mommy!...
My dear,give your self brain and upgrade!...
Poster 2 is another Mumu!,,,
Can't you girls of these days hook up with a correct nigga?...
Must it be someone suffering?...
Nne,Give other guys a chance!...stop putting all una eggs in one basket you people will not listen...
You think you are still young?...wait untill you reach 35 then you will know what's up!...
Hahahahaha.. I was pitying the girls in these narratives when I remembered u.. Smh..😂😂😂
DeleteLol
DeleteI trust you
Everything about today's chronicles paints what is wrong with the mentality of Nigerian women. Basically looking for greener pastures means you are looking for a man as your gateway out of poverty which is the standard thing for Nigerian women. Why can't you go work for the things your partner lacks if money was so easy to get. Broke ass bitches looking for a man to be their meal ticket because they've a pair of breasts!
ReplyDeleteSeconded
DeleteSpot on dear
Delete#KungfuPanda
Shut tha fuck up. Who gave you the right...like men too aren't gold diggers
DeleteJust Come out and say you are a jobless gold digger.
DeletePoster 1 and 2:
ReplyDeleteBoth of you represent the girls in general that are very impatient in life; always wanting ready made who will treat you like an object. If you marry someone whom you contributed nothing to his success, you are just one of his household appliance.
I dated a guy who had nothing. The moment he had a job he changed and started keeping girlfriends, then he dumped me. Where were all those girls when he was jobless? Poster 2 I am not saying your bf is like that but you know him better, I am just stating my experience.
DeletePoster 2
ReplyDeleteI can't advice you.
Take the risk and send a Narrative chronicle later, or take the risk and Send a chronicle of Hope!
Today's chronicles is about broke ass boyfriends. It is well with una
ReplyDeleteNo one wants to suffer. It is natural to want a man that can provide for you. Who no like better thing? But you need to stop thinking that it's your birth right for a man to buy things for you. If you want a man that will spend on you, stop dating your age mates or men that are still coming up in life. Stop putting unnecessary pressure on them. Go and find an already made man. Just know that there are already like 20 babes on his matter so what are you bringing to the table that will set you apart?
DeleteBoth of you should stand by your men, and believe God, you won't regret it but praise him in due time.
ReplyDeleteWhen did your parent become God, for them to know that he might not secured a job soon?
ReplyDeleteAbeg leave him alone and let him fix himself if you don't want to be part of his story.
Tell your parents to mould you a husband material.
You're a pessimist.
22yr old poster, tread carefully i must say. If the new google glasses would help u see way ahead & the potentials in ur BF, u better buy it on eBay. Hes a graduate & hardworking, more so spicing it up with love, the grass doesnt always remain green on the other side u know, when winter comes, trust me you'd need a not just a Boyfriend or husband, but a friend that loves & cherishes you, a friend youve both weathered the storm previously, & survived.
ReplyDelete& that notion u hold in ur head is wrong, your dad cheated when he became succesful.... cnt u draw a clue from there? cant u see ur BF also making it?? who says the already made guys now are not cheating? Pls be careful not to throw away the unpolished diamond in ur hands, for the Aba-made stainless steel.
Atheist the you are soo right as ur advise also seats for both poster one n two, honestly eh, the way ladies are ready to jump into a relationship with a guy bcos o0 he is presently rich, wat abt tomorrow. Oh well wat do i knw, finally friendship and loyalty is very important.
DeleteAtheist the you are soo right as ur advise also seats for both poster one n two, honestly eh, the way ladies are ready to jump into a relationship with a guy bcos o0 he is presently rich, wat abt tomorrow. Oh well wat do i knw, finally friendship and loyalty is very important.
DeleteEnter your comment...trust God...he knows the best for you both....
ReplyDeleteFinancial incapability been messing with relationships since time immemorial.
ReplyDeleteposter1..broke boi friend
ReplyDeleteposter2..broke man with P.H.D i dey come i want shit.
Am really missing a lot on Sdkblog. School stress and I can't even remember when last I post a comments on this bblog. Kelvin dat Edo boy I miss you so much including school life. Make una take care until further notice...... Stella mi take care of yourself too. Wishing you God blessings and favor to follow you and your family all the days of you guys life. Amen
ReplyDeleteN2,A risk u call it, a risk it is. Think well
ReplyDeleteAll you need is FAITH.
ReplyDelete1. You can give other men chance but tie your two legs together.
2.
Poster 1
ReplyDeleteDon't leave him yet, leave your opinion open, how do ladies stuck to one man that's why they complain of heart break. Leave your options open till you meet your match... Pretend to be a mermaid oh
Stella red pen is not functioning today at all, poster two tell your boo to stop sleeping around with you and other girls with that all the chain holding him from his village will just waka. If you want to stay with him please stay with him, if you don't want to stay with him run fast. must you put all your eggs in one basket?
ReplyDeleteStella wey don doze as she dey post the chronicle. Lol
Delete#KungfuPanda
Only God knows what tomorrow holds for every one.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 - what do you want him to give you? Should he steal? He is even yet to serve and you know he doesn't have.
ReplyDeleteThere is no guarantee you will find peace or happiness when you have all these things you desire.
Please, be patient if you can, but if you so much desire the material things then it's best you let him go. But trust me, you might regret that decision in few years.
Poster 2 - stick with him, Trust your instincts. Trust me, something good is definitely gonna come. Hard work always pays off.
Just be patient. You are still young, don't get clouded by what your parents think or want they want for you.
Most of these millionaires you see today all started with little or nothing.
Patience is a Virtue.
Good one, my thoughts exactly
DeletePoster 2
ReplyDeleteTo avoid had I known,keep your options open
poster2.its an ERROR!How can he hav BSC,MASTERS & Currently PHD without a job?abeg let him go to MFM first for deliverance before anytin else.cos his village pple r really cooking concotion on his head.Am talking from experience ooo.and to think he came out with a FIRST CLASS?NO NO NO!
ReplyDeleteposter2.its an ERROR!How can he hav BSC,MASTERS & Currently PHD without a job?abeg let him go to MFM first for deliverance before anytin else.cos his village pple r really cooking concotion on his head.Am talking from experience ooo.and to think he came out with a FIRST CLASS?NO NO NO!
ReplyDelete
ReplyDelete# Difficult roads often leads to beautiful destination.
#Sometimes our eyes need to be washed by our tears so that we can see life with a clearer view.
#if the plan doesn't work out, change the plan but never change the goal.
#Listen, smile, agree and then do whatever you were going to do anyway.
These quotes from great men should help
Who wan build mansion for road WA no good? Life is a risk mehn
DeleteP2: Your man will surely get a job, An Amazing job with unbelievable benefits. Trust God on this. This is only a phase of his life that will soon pass by.
ReplyDeleteDoes the teacher talk during a test or an exam?
God is watching him as he writes his test. He will answer him soonest. Don't give in to your parents pressure.
P1: College relationship are always like that. He's a student like you, not working class yet. Where do you expect him to get money from.
Chose to either let him be and face your studies OR you spice up the relationship your self. If you have the means,try taking him out , as for gifts, start it first. All the best to you both.
*Baba God pick up*
P1 & 2 your destiny is not in the hands of any man. Focus on your own life and career and make your own damn money! Stop depending on guys to buy you lunch, recharge card and make your hair. Struggle for yourself, you must not stuggle with any man. At the right time you will choose from many spouses and finance wont have to be a constraint. Aint nothing as sexy as a woman who has her own money. . . You can only attract people in the same class as you!
ReplyDelete*suitors i mean
DeleteI will read comments!!
ReplyDeleteBut wait ooh, it seems nobody is ready to stay with a guy during his trials
I no say make we suffer with am o...as many have proved themeslves unworthy
But with all these qualifications and qualities, it's still a good sign.
Lemme stop here,I can see 'them' coming!!
STELLA WHY DIDNT YOU COMMENT??????????????????
ReplyDeleteAFTER ALL HER PLEADING NA WA OO... BE FORMING DON JAZZY BCOS ITS YOUR BLOG..
ANYWAYS POSTER 2 STAY WITH HIM..HE HAS POTENTIALS AND SOMEDAY HE WILL MAKE IT...
POSTER 1....FREE THAT DUDE...AGE GAP MATTERS ALOT..BEFORE 5YRS YOU WILL BE LOOKING OLDER THAN HIM..AND YOU MIGHT COME BACK HERE DISTURBING US ABOUT A CHEATING HUSBY....BIKO USE YOUR HEAD..
I WONDER WHY PPLE BEHAVE LIKE THIS HOW WILL YOU BE DATING A GUY ONE YEAR OLDER THAN YOU????? WAT ARE YOU LEARNING FROM HIM BIKO KWA...I CNT TRY IT EVEN IN MY NEXT LIFE
I'll read comments....
ReplyDeletePoster 1 and 2,the true character of a man can only be seen when he has money, forget all the coulda,woulda shoulda's, start dating other people on the side,forget sex with your current boyfriends and these guys but pls see other people. PLS do not put all your eggs in one basket. All in a all its a huge risk but with the other basket you reduce the risk.
ReplyDeletePoster1, give it a shot n see how it goes, but a man's true colour is seen when he has money o, I'm not saying he 'll change but in most cases they do.
ReplyDeletePoster2 pls stay with this guy, he has seen all in life unlike the young bloke the 1st poster talked about. That guy 'll make good a husband. And pls while at it, I suggest he goes to mfm ajangbadi for deliverance because I don't know how a man with PhD in view 'll be searching for job like that. It's well
poster 2, why can't he find at least a teaching job in some private schools where he can have a subject he covers for a few hours and still continue his job search, research , etc. Except he's a dreamer without action = dead dreams.
ReplyDeletePoster 1: your bf is too young to settle down. Stop chasing shadow. He's not as matured as you think. Females mature faster than their male peers. All the best, financial ground is very very important to begin a family bcos no one wants a beggii beggi inlaw, or one that thinks no family member wants to help him out of their riches (it sulks really).
poster 1,stop dating broke ass niggaz,honestly he is that broke? nne wise up o,you are too young to be swimming in poverty
ReplyDeleteHmmm.lemme just read thru comments.It's not easy being in a broke marriage.Nothing is exciting without money i swear.
ReplyDeletestella where is your red pen na....these folks needs it biko
ReplyDeletemy dear all i will say is pray and follow ur mind...both poster 1/2
Poster 1 broke men are usually faithful. Poster 2 u can stay with ur guy since u ve a job but don't marry him yet, give him like 3 years to stabilise. Poster 1 leave dt ur chewing gum boyfriend biko
ReplyDeletePoster one your boyfriend loves you so much cos you he's damn broke! wait till that money starts can coming in; late nights drinking with friends cos there is money, money to go after other girls etc! Girl shine your eyes
DeleteOkay...so now it's no longer love but money? No money no love!!!
ReplyDeleteOkay, I don't have any advice for you... I'm equally searching for a financially stable lady to compliment myself for a secured future. Since love is outdated. Stella I need a special hookup with a lady who is bankfully endowed!! I need some gbagam alert!!! Ighota ifem mean e!??
Postet 1: You said he is "hardworking' right? oya be patient things will fall into place soon.meanwhile,you chose a non Dangote as a school boyfriend why expecting $ and £
ReplyDeletePoster 2: You are not a Spirit to know if he will dump you or not in future so concentrate on the now.I try not to expect so much from people that way i dont get dissapointed. While waiting for a big job,he can start working in good private schools or private firms.He shouldnt shy away from a particular range of salary because he is working on his PHD.
Am more concerned about his character,if he shares the little he has with you now then he is a Keeper.But if he is a story teller, na exit sure pass.
'Every young woman out there seems to be looking for some kind secure future..which is good'
ReplyDeletesounds like man hunting for money.
I believe a woman should work hard to be self sufficient.
Anyway, you've already decided what you'd do.
Poster 1 , i think you knee deep in thought about this relationship. Firstly, that 24 year old man may not be thinking what you are thinking now 'marriage '. He needs to get his feet on the ground hence the 'brokeness'. Focus on building a valuable life first and everything else you desire will follow suit.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, since he is hardworking, has a focus and very ambitious, you can allow him some time. A minute is enough to change a man's life history. Be patient while you build your own life.
God will surely fix it
ReplyDeletePoster 1 If faithfulness is one of the main reasons you think he is the best thing since slice bread, then please understand that his faithfulness may be at least 99% attributable to his brokeness. Like seriously, where is he going to go? Personally broke and faithful is a no no. Not because im mean o, but because of experience. At the end of the day all the useless men will still disappoint you or cheat. But i would rather be crying in a range rover than on top of okada. #justsaying
ReplyDelete*sliced😋
DeletePeople from broken homes scare me, history always repeat itself in their lives.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 and 2
ReplyDeleteRome wasnt built in one day.
Romance is interesting when there is finance involved. Do you want him to steal and give you precious items.
I phone 7 in 3 years will be a forgotten phone.
Pray you get a job and do a side hussle.
Do not focus on what you dont have. A man must not do everything for you.
All I can say is that I have missed this blog
ReplyDeleteImagine not commenting from friday till today
Chai, God, I have been busy
Please God, pick up m call.
Please answer my heart desire Lord God. I have been believing God for something it's September already. I want to be self sufficient , prayed and fasted . Pls Heavenly Father u know my heart desire grant it .
DeleteI just came here to read all the foolish advise you women have to offer each other. So because the man has no money now, you want to dump him for a richer fellow (you may or may not get and who may or may not be 100% committed to you)??
ReplyDeleteYou bitches keep on looking for ready made. You think a man respects a woman whether she is his wife or not who is clearly a money-hungry cow? Nothing is wrong with wanting to live in wealth but why not work for it, help the man build it?
Poster 1 and 2, y'all clearly have good men who you can grow and nurture to wealth and success. From your tales, these are clearly hardworking men who adore you, not lazy ass niggas who want pussy 24/7. Instead y'all comon to SDK asking the gwegz club, frustrated bitches for advise?? You women are truly the architects of your own misfortune. These men are clearly better off without you in their lives.
Proverbs 31:10-11 -- An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. 11; The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain
You dey mind them? Lazy bitches everywhere
DeleteAbeg Anon go and sit down. Those pple married to comfortable men, do they ve two heads? Please ladies don't settle for less, nobody will be thr to suffer with you. Hoha
DeletePoster 2 : follow madam's advice, if e shares the little he has he is a keeper!! Pray with him and grown together. It's well
ReplyDeleteOnly 2 out of 10 broke men are reasonable. Some people are ambitious with no potential. Na only mouth dem get. In as much as it's good to have your own money as a woman, there are still things expected of your significant other. I for instance, I like presents. I'd give and I expect the gesture to be reciprocated. Besides I don't want to be with a man that'll be living off me. He should do something no matter how little it pays. That's how you know someone who has potential and someone you might not mind waiting for...
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, According to you, your boyfriend is hardworking, then why don't you stand by him and pray he succeed in all his endeavours.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, some men who are rich and wealthy does not even give their girlfriend the care and attention they deserve.
Have a positive spirit, what happened to your mum and dad must not happen to you. You have your own life, pray and break the ties.
The grass is always greener at the other side of the fence.
Poster 2, You are with a man with a very bright future. I have a friend who used to be in a similar situation, but today, he is a manager in top conglomerate in Lagos. It took him almost 6yrs to get a job after acquiring his PHD. Mind you, he had first class both in his Bachelors and Masters degree.
So, i will advise you stay with your man and be steadfast in prayers. Forget about the recession, people are still there in Nigeria making it. Just pray the Lord's
face shines on you and him, and also people should work in his favour.
But if he's a stingy man who only think about himself and does not take care of you from the little he gets through his minor jobs; then i will say you give it a second thought.
I don't like men who does not stay up to their responsibilities (Whether rich or poor financially)
Your man will be an hot cake after acquiring his PHD, good he's doing some work at his leisure time, because he will be needing the experience too.
I wish you both luck.
All I see is the problem of the society. Women wanting to live off men.better yourself or let these niggaz go,Nigerian women and shortsightedness.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, That Twenty something yr old nigga is not ready. Please move to the next one.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, I really don't know what to say struggling with a man has worked for a lot of women in the past and it has also back fired... like you saw in the case of Shalom. I'll advice you work on yourself, stick with him but don't make him feel comfortable. If he's a good man he'll advice you to move on when things don't go as planned, considering the fact that he told you to be patient with him.
I take God beg you close your legs to avoid Stories that touches the heart and bounces back.
***Anonymous Chielo***
Dear posters most ladies here talk from experience..broke guys love d most but wen dey touch just little money with d tip of their fingers dey feel dey have arrived and dey tend to misbehave ignoring u...am sure u don't want to bite ur fingers wishing had I know..it takes only a man by d Grace of God to remember a woman DAT stood by him wen he was a nobody and thats a 90/10% chance...honey to avoid tales by moonlight I will advice u to play smart.
ReplyDeleteDon't put all your eggs in one basket...use ur tongue to count ur teeth.
Poster 1 & 2 go and learn a trade and stop looking for rich boyfriends. I don tire for una story.
ReplyDeleteWell said anon.
ReplyDeletePoster 1: at 23, your BF is a KID and will never settle down within the next 8 years.. walk away and NEVER look back.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: well, this is a risk worth taking. let's see how the next one year will look like since you are just 24. if he's still jobless by then, then consider a PLAN B (it won't hurt)
I actually don't know wat to tell these posters! All I know is depending on a man for everything is wrong n unambitious! U r ones wearing d shoes n know aw it hurts!
ReplyDeletePoster 1- y don't u wait n find something doing in d main time seeing as u n ur guy r still young?
I don't think the posters want to depend on their men for everything, rather I think they are concerned about their men being dependable and taking up their responsibilities as the head of their homes when they get married. Marriage is not easy and being broke will make things harder, having a job or a little something doing will certainly help. After all both posters are working so they are not lazy. It is very fair for them to be weary and concerned about their future. Love these days is not blind. Some women on this blog talk from both sides of their mouths, but in reality they will not go near a broke ass man. Y'all should be realistic and stop portraying these young ladies, i.e posters 1 and 2 as gold diggers.
DeleteBravo!!!! So many frustrated and low life ladies here . I always wonder how men hook up with silly ladies here on SnM. Too many intellectually derange ladies.
ReplyDeleteObviously you are an SnM customer, what are you always doing there then T Don?
DeleteAnd why are you on this blog filled with frustrated and low life women as you say? You can only attract your kind.
DeleteP1
ReplyDeleteWhen you say no gift on birthday, do u mean no gift at all at all? Hmmmm
Thats a really bad one. Honestly both of you should go learn or find something to do. Else you can sustain this.
P2. He shldnt look for work, he shoukd start a business or something. He can act as a link man in any deal and get a cut till he can seal his own deals.
Shukran
It is well
ReplyDeletePoster 2: after praying and fasting without result! Have you tried learning how to receive? Prayer is not gambling... When you fast and pray tell God what you want, as in be specific in time you want it e.g. before the end of first quarter of the year... See I've never seen anyone who is faithful as God! Am a living testimony. The word is working.
ReplyDeleteI am feeling headache abeg and the alphabetical letters are dancing can't see or read Nada.
ReplyDelete*hangs legs on the window
P:2 please he needs deliverance. why didn't the college he graduated from employ him, since he had 1st class. He is supposed to be an assistant graduate lecturer. Something is wrong somewhere. pls take him to MFM.
ReplyDeleteMy dear 22 year old, leave that guy to focus on his future. I was like you, it got me nowhere. I repeat, leave for sanity sake. Don't compromise your integrity when you meet a richer suitor, be focused in life. Use your service year well.
ReplyDeleteMy dear lady with the PhD student, entertain other suitors. Don't go giving that man money. What efforts are you making for self improvement? Don't be satisfied with your little job o. Listen to your parents. I sent in my chronicles about a court registry wedding, my fiance is a medical doctor and i am a medical laboratory scientist. We don't lack jobs but renumeration may be poor.left to me, I feel we should wait before getting married, for things to get better, instead he kept insisting. That's a man not derailed by present circumstances but focused on the future. I am running an MSc programme in my field, which will boost my CV. I am currently not working. I am self funded because at 27 I ought to be empowered or married. I know how to bake and make snacks, learn a skill.. I learned all these at an early age. I use these skills to supplement my income. I would be terribly disappointed in myself if I was a mother and wife of a wealthy man and have nothing I can point to that says I made an effort to improve my society, or something I own all by myself.
Ask for Godly discernment. I wish you all the best
Poster 1 and 2. Prayer is the key to everything.
ReplyDeleteposter 2, why can't the man do business???
ReplyDeleteDear Poster 1: I think you are rushing things and you seem as someone that is a 'longer throat'and easily moved by what you see.. sorry to say..You have not embarked on the NYSC yet and dating someone that is just a yr older than you..you guys are on the same level and shouldn't be looking for any form of commitment. can you tell what may become of that guy..do things for you not becos your friends have financially stable boyfriends. If you cant continue with him, let him go and date someone within your 'specs' and much older PLEASE!!..Also what plans do you have for yourself..abeg press brake and stop being desperate.You are still young
ReplyDeleteDear Poster 2: I think everything is all about communication. Our parents really mean well for us but the ball is stillin your court. Why not have a conversation with your man , ask him certain questions , bring suggestions (don't force any thing on him or give conditions) and keep encouraging him..You never can tell what may happen next..I believe you alone can know if he is the real deal or not(be wise as a serpent). and don't do anything to make your parents look down on him and also PRAY!! PRAY!!PRAY!!!..make sure you confirm you have these 3 things when you are with him : peace, inner witness and unexplainable joy..You will be fine my Dear
Poor men are always very humble. What do they want to dazzle you with, poverty ?
ReplyDeleteHow he will be when he has money ? I dont know ?
Poster 1 and 2 Please dumpire their broke asses.
ReplyDeleteYour chronicles reminds me of my ex boyfriend. I dated him for 6 good years. He just finished school and had an extra year, I was faithful and diligent. I never considered cheating on him. The next year he had a missing result and at that point his parents who are very popular in the oil sector disowned him. I personally took care of him, praying for him and encouraging him.
Whenever he's sick, i'ld pay for his hospital bills and cook for him. I remember the day I used a large chunk of money from my business to buy a gift for him. His friends ran away and started insulting me, telling me to look for rich guys with solid future but I never considered.
Dear posters I was madly in love with my ex.
Anyways, my ex finished school and didn't agree to work in his father's oil company insisting on making a name for himself... that's how we started hustling together with no cash.
Long story short, Oga is now doing well for himself, bought cars for himself, relocated abroad and last time I called him, I overhead his friends in the background insulting me.
If I hear say I hustle with any man again cos he's a broke ass. Thunder fire that love.
Miss single 2 stupor.
Choi!...
Deletejeeez!!!! all this broke bitches will come out here and give advice like they know shit. a leopard neva changes it's spots. a guy who loves u will treat u right not cos he broke, all u hear here is dump him if he is broke,
ReplyDeleteI met my man when I was 20years old in 100level , we are age mates and he treats me like a queen. now he has money and still treats me like a queen. we will be getting married next year at 28 and I am so glad I choose to stick with him. u hear ppl hear say 'y would u date a guy for 3years & more'.#bullshit# Take as long as u want if u love eachoda, how about u guys working together to build a future @poster 1 . the problem is as ladies we can tell when d guy isn't right but we ignore the signs and after a few years we claim it's cos d guy is now rich. #Ladies empower urself and let a man prove he deserves u. Even afta 8 years my man still proves he deserves me.
1- Learn to work hard and earn your money. Don't be lazy!!!!
ReplyDelete2- Pray for him and keep working hard. You don't have a problem
Janet you're so on point.
DeleteGirls always complaining about their boyfriend not having enough money, or job. What about you? What do you bring to the table? Why are you looking for a man to take care of you? You want a made-man? Are you a made-woman? You have a good man who loves you and you want to end the relationship because he is broke? I don't understand some women atimes.Support your men and work hard for yourselves and one day you shall reap. You are worried about him cheating when he is made, who says your made-man won't cheat on you? Rich men who marry women below their levels always treat them like their properties. Believe me because I speak from experience. I would rather be with a man who is poor and respects me than to be with one who has all the money in the world, but regards me as one of his properties to control and use as it pleases him.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, i feel you. Dont listen to people telling you to dump him. The guy has prospects. Most of the rich guys you see now were once poor and they usually appreciate people who were with them when they had nothing. Continue with him and keep praying. But if along the line, you meet someone else that you love who is more stable financially and you love the person and he is ready to settle down, then you can tell Mr A that you are moving on. Besides you are just 24. There is still time for him to be successful. If he goes abroad, the chances of you people getting married soon will be less because he will be thinking of how to get papers to remain and he wont be able to invite you over unless you get a visa yourself. Just pray sha. God is the key to all our problems
ReplyDeletePoster 1 and Poster 2,don't neglect the power of small beginning. Never marry or date a guy because of his financial capabilities. Nothing lasts forever.
ReplyDelete