Hmmmm....
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
BOYFRIEND WITHOUT A FUTURE AMBITION
Hi Stella, I love your work even though I hardly comment on your blog but am an ardent reader. Please hide my email address and name.
Here is my dilemma: I am a young girl in my early twenties and will soon be through with university. I got introduced to this guy (let's call him Dee) last year through a close friend of mine. We started talking on phone and we seem to be happy. He's in a different state from mine so we have only met once and that was when he came to visit in my school. He is a cool and a very nice guy, calls me everyday even though we hardly talk about real issues.
He is a graduate of computer science from a Polytechnic while I'm a law student in a University. There is a whole lot of educational gap between us but that didn't stop me from going ahead with the relationship. I feel the future is what matters and most people even make it without proper education.
The problem I have with him now is that, he graduated from the Polytechnic early this year and he was supposed to go for IT but he has refused to go for the IT. He has also refused to further his education and is practically doing nothing with his life.
When I spoke to him about this, he said he wants to write a Navy examination which he did but failed and he has stopped talking about it. Now, he is living with his mum in their town doing nothing particularly with his life. Whenever I talk to him about the idleness, he keeps avoiding the issue.
He is a graduate of computer science from a Polytechnic while I'm a law student in a University. There is a whole lot of educational gap between us but that didn't stop me from going ahead with the relationship. I feel the future is what matters and most people even make it without proper education.
The problem I have with him now is that, he graduated from the Polytechnic early this year and he was supposed to go for IT but he has refused to go for the IT. He has also refused to further his education and is practically doing nothing with his life.
When I spoke to him about this, he said he wants to write a Navy examination which he did but failed and he has stopped talking about it. Now, he is living with his mum in their town doing nothing particularly with his life. Whenever I talk to him about the idleness, he keeps avoiding the issue.
I don't know whether to continue with him and continue hoping things will change or move on with my life. Stella, please I need your red ink on this and the advice from my fellow readers too.
Your relationship sounds DOA (dead on arrival).If he is not ready to move forward then you move on..I think you are concerned about his future because you have plans to marry him right?Well,he might not be interested in such yet.
Your relationship sounds DOA (dead on arrival).If he is not ready to move forward then you move on..I think you are concerned about his future because you have plans to marry him right?Well,he might not be interested in such yet.
.........................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
CHEATER ALERT
CHEATER ALERT
Good day Stella and my fellow BVS. I love your blog and there is no day that passes without me reading the latest on your blog. Keep up the good work!
I'm engaged to the sweetest man on the planet and whatever he is today, we made it together even though we are still trying to save up for marriage.
My problem started few weeks after he proposed. Before then, I was convinced boo was the best and wouldn't cheat not until I tested several passwords for his Facebook account and it opened. I started reading messages he sends to various ladies online. Saying he loves them and they need to hook up.
He requested for a particular lady's nude picture which she refused to send.The point here is that he is the one that initiates the conversation with them before this incident.
I have stumbled on some of his messages on same Facebook and I confronted him. He knelt down, begging that he was only bored, doesn't know those girls and was just having fun saying that it wouldn't repeat itself again but now I just saw this. I forgot to say that after my engagement party which he sponsored, a friend of mine told me that he asked for her number because of the products she sells but she didn't take his. I asked my guy about it but he said he doesn't have any bad intentions that since she sells ladies wears he wanted us to patronise her but I said at least you would have told me and then he said he forgot and apologised.
I forgave him only for me to see now on Facebook that he has sent this friend of mine a request which she is yet to accept.
I don't just get it, how a lady would be 100% loyal to a guy and he keeps messing up. I am so angry right now and don't know whether to break off the engagement or if flirting on Facebook isn't real.
Should I be seriously worried because I believe now is the best time to decide before any marriage plans sets in. Right now, I can't talk to him because I don't want him to know I have his Facebook password so he wouldn't change it.
What do I do Stella and my fellow BVS?
You have seen the signs,the choice is yours to decide if you should go on with him or not.If you decide to go ahead,I hope you are mentally and psychologically prepared for an emotional roller coaster marriage?
HHHHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
ReplyDeletePoster 1 sounds just like me a few years ago.
DeleteNne, run!
Ambition less men are one of the worst!
As a single girl waiting & praying for Mr. Right amongst the sea of unfaithfuls, our only assurance of getting a good man is to go to God.
DeletePray!
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
DeletePoster 2 it is what it is. I have come to see that men are engineered that way except with special and extreme divine intervention. Since he has claimed his reasons are"boredom" and "fun-seeking", you have your work cut out for you. Make an effort to keep him busy. So that he goes to bed each day tired from that fun and activity he is looking for.
Delete#my2pence.
Hian, @totti
DeleteSo her work while being married to him is to create fun for him?
Happy married life o.
God will help both of you, no strength to read and advice
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
P2
DeleteA man that cant even respect you enough to stay away from your friends is not worthy of a relationship talk more marriage
Both posters...you two need your running shoes.
DeleteContradictory story poster 2, after shouting you are engaged to the best man Abi most wonderful man, I've forgotten the word you used...Then you say he flirts on Facebook how can a wonderful or good man do that?
DeleteSeems you have decided to stay, of not you won't qualify him as that, I am sure any advice you see here, you won't take it. Just keep us posted about the situation
Hmm, she thought he was until she saw all those signs!
Delete#It js in doing things that results come out and not in reading them.
ReplyDeletePoster 1,Nne I si n'ibu lawyer and you're doing what exactly with a polytechnic graduate? Not even graduated yet cuz I believe it's after OND they go for IT.Are you mad? Chai, you have insulted the Legal profession.This is a slap on the face of we lawyers.
DeleteMy friend,better leave that good for nothing low life and go look for someone worthy of you.Nonsense!!!
She's not a graduate either, so get off your high horse!
DeleteP1, he is not interested. P2, can you leave with this baggage? Seems dude is a serial cheat.. ..
ReplyDeletePoster 1 hehn! Hehn! Use your tongue to count your teeth...poster 2 borrow wisdom from Solomon fast. Enuf said already
ReplyDeleteChai is what i will say for Poster 1 and Poster 2.
ReplyDeleteIt is well with both of you AMEN.
Poster 1 walk away and stop trying to baby a grown man.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 you will continue to see things like this as long as you keep checking. He won't stop, he'd probably get smarter and delete.
Has he had sexual relations with any of these women? If you can't deal with the little you've seen then don't go further with the wedding but this snooping of a thing only leaves you with heart ache.
The decision is yours to make.
Poster 1 hehn! Hehn! Use your tongue to count your teeth...poster 2 borrow wisdom from Solomon fast. Enuf said already
ReplyDeleteP1, he is not interested. P2, can you live with this baggage? Seems dude is a serial cheat.. ..
ReplyDeleteMen can cheat for Africa chai chai chai
ReplyDeleteP1: ur bf needs deliverance. Help him get a good church 4 that
ReplyDeleteP2: same thing ur bf needs(deliverance)
Ds is funi
DeleteHian...
ReplyDeletePoster one,what are you still doing with someone without a future?...
A jobless person?...
Biko run away from him before he transfer the badluck following him to you...
He need a serious deliverance!...
Poster 2,
My sister,stay if he is rich afterall you said he is caring and all that...no one is perfect...
But dump him if he is a broke ass!...
It's better you cry in a rolls Royce than in a keke...
Queen...I raise yansh for u
DeleteThe only reasonable comment for poster 2, those dat will tell u to dump him wouldn't mind to the side chic, if he doesn't change, cheat on him too.
DeleteMadam queen why have low esteem and poverty mentality at the same time? You need deliverance. ..
DeleteAlways eager to read your advice on chronicle, I love your nkwugheli Nne.
DeleteYou are so real Queen. You make lots of sense most times.
DeleteQueen, you give the best advise on this blog. I swear... Though it is blunt, it is always the truth...
DeletePoster 1, what are you doing what an un-ambitious guy. You guys are already incompatible. The earlier you move on, the better...
Poster2, a man can cheat and you can forgive him but if he can make a move at your friends.. That's a no no... Think about this way, what if your friend was interested and they started a serious relationship... Do you think you will be here writing this chronicle. Like Queen said, if he is rich, then he is worth the fight, otherwise keep forgiving him until another he uses another woman's nude pics as his screen saver...
Hahahaha I raise Beyonce hand for u correct talk
DeletePoster one better leave that dude cos you ca hardly change a lazy man, stay and regret your future.
ReplyDeletePoster two better leave him, future regrets as well. Saynotocheats
I will read comments
ReplyDeletePoster 2.He is asking another woman on facebook for naked pictures in this early stage of your "marriage " and you are asking for what to do. Goodluck to you
ReplyDeleteNgwanu, they never marry ooooooo, abi na you be the priest wey join them... Poster one, I've got no advice for you cos your story seems similar with mine with only few difference. Poster 2,it's better you talk to your two legs, but you too, desist from going through your partner's phone cos it would only
DeleteMake you develop high BP, and you know sey men no worth am... Biko let me run before the guys on this blog would come and attack me
Poster2 change d password urself. And tell him what u know. He can't change it back. Most men do things like dis and it annoys the hell outa me. I have caught my bro flirting online. He is a wonderful man but dat online flirting seems to mk dem feel relevant
ReplyDeleteExactly! I'm goin tru the same thing, I'm beginning to let go since he happens to be the best hubby and daddy to my daughter. Dunno if that online flirting is as a result of I feriority complex. Well the day I get to But i e him finally cheat as in sex, I will leave him.
DeleteShe would need to know the password to his mail as well in order to change his facebook password. Too much stress let her just continue this way, he will never suspect *wink wink*
Delete1) My friend face your book joor. Forget that lazy guy man biko
ReplyDeleteIf you wanna date, date a serious minded somebody na. Not a lazy broke ass
2) Nne thank God he has showed too signs now
So if you know you can't deal, break up the engagement and move on!!
Dont come here and start typing chronicles to us biko. We habe read enough already
Poster 1
ReplyDeleteBe more selfish next time . You shouldn't have dated him in the first place . U both have different set of values and that's enough for you to say , I can't deal. Break up with him immediately
Poster 2
Yours is a tough case . That nigga don't love you. Believe me .
The decision is in Ur hands
P1&2, Please run for your lives! It's usually better to break off a relationship at this stage than later.
ReplyDeleteChronicles
ReplyDeleteP1
ReplyDeleteWhy on earth will you date a guy with no ambition? A lazy ass man.
U better run for your life. A university undergraduate and a POLY graduate. You must be Jazzed.
Run and get a better DUDE.
P2
Your guy is broke and unfaithful, what happens when you both become rich together?
He'll sleep with everything under skirt and throw it at you. WAKE UP!!!
You keep calling people broke. Rich queen, what do you do for a living?
DeleteNone of your business
DeleteIdeato or whatever, you vomit a lot of shit these days. What do you mean by "a university undergraduate and a poly graduate? Check yourself girl cos I think you're losing it.
DeletePoster 2.Break off d engagement hes nt worth it.hw can one be flirting n say its cos of boredom?he shud help u clean ur house,do d dishes n wash ur clothes dt way he wnt be bored.who knos he mite be sleepin wit ur friends sef so be wise.poster 1.al u can do is pray for him n advice him n if he doesnt improve,move on.
ReplyDeletehhhhmmmmmm to poster one. if a guy refuse to move ahead in life is best you walk away abi he is the only one that can screw you real good? maybe his rod is so big that you enjoy it so well. Do not be blind by big rod, shine your eyes.
ReplyDeleteThe poster one doesn't make sense, its too early to call your boyfriend lazy and without ambition. He just finished school, he tried his hands on the navy exam, seems to me he wants to achieve. What if there isn't enough money for him to go back to school? Telling him what to do with his life just makes you selfish. Go and find someone who knows what to do with his life and leave the young man to his hustle.
DeletePoster 2: pick up ur shoes, look left, then turn right and den run very fast, run as fast as ur legs can carry u..... 🏃🏃 🏃 🏃
ReplyDeleteLol.... Poster 2, heed Rhoda's advice.. Run without looking back
DeletePoster 2 change his password den deactivate his Facebook. Did it to Lee boo, blocked all those useless side chicken now he is only on whatsapp. Atleast he won't be importing them from fcbk atm.
DeleteDump him and look for the one that don't have d tendency to cheat.
ReplyDeletePoster one: Please, leave that guy and face your books. If you care about his welfare so much, you can check up on him once in a while.
ReplyDeleteSigns an 'Unoka.'
Poster two: So, because it's your relationship, you're trying to wave aside the fact that your man is cheating, because it's on Facebook?
Don't people meet on Facebook and get married?
Well, God has given us all the blueprint to know what's good for us in life. You decide to make the wrong choice, or settle for less than you deserve, it's on you.
#WhiteDiamondOut
Poster 1, your boyfriend is simply lazy, wear a rethinking cap.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: Best advise is the one you advise yourself, be wise.
P1- Your boyfriend is what I call NFA ( No future Ambition) the earlier you move on, the better. You better don't endorse his stupidity by staying with him. After all I have not seen anyone that died out of heart break. P2 Swirry you better leave that guy, trust me, you are going to see worst if you end up with him.
ReplyDelete»It will only end in praise«
Pposter 1: Graduate that wants to go for IT? He is not a graduate abeg. He's an OND holder so he's a semi-graduate. Dump the moron abeg. He's not serious. Navy exam indeed.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: cheater b4 marriage? That means when u guys get married, he'll just do it openly? Lol. Use your head not your heart
OND holder calls themselves graduate these days o! I just wonder.
DeleteDefine GRADUATE make I see/hear.
DeletePoster 1 - when I campaign for yiu g girls chasing their dreams before all this 'marriage mentality' all the people with big MRS placards and cheating husbands will come here and insult me, as if if they ever seen me I real life they can talk to me 😝 At your age, instead of you to graduate and start making your parents proud and thinking g about law school you're allowing yourself get drowned in the 'I must marry mentality'. I'm not even bothered about that NFA (No future ambition) guy it's you who doesn't have standards that's my problem. And guess what? When you see people who are going far even without educatom, it boils down to one thing.... ATTITUDE. Yes!! From a man's attitude you can decipher his hunger and thirst for a bright future or not. Who finishes and doesn't go for IT? Who writes exams and fails and isn't worried? Who is too unconcerned to discuss future plans with his gf? Answer: An NFA. Don't think of going for service and earning better salary or doing a masters. Be there asking JAMB questions. Tmr now you will marry him and come and be sending more chronicles.
ReplyDeleteThis is the first time I will endorse your comment. For goodness sakes what's wrong with young girls. Don't you have high ambition? And you claim to be studying law. Biko don't disgrace my profession. 400level is a difficult level without the distraction of a fuckboy. Babe unless you are 'fat and ugly' 'in James's voice'. Better guys will come. Face your book. Pass well so you can pen the way for a better dude
DeleteThere is nothing actually wrong with young girls. There's more wrong with family, friends and platforms that make marriage seem like it's the only thing a young girl should live for. Who wants to be called Aunty gwegs? And if you don't have self-worth and strength of stamina, you will slip into that mentality. I don't blame her, because when I graduated at 22 too I wanted to marry straight. After all amara Kanu did it at 18, so what couldn't I? And I did have seemingly good suitors. But everyday I raise my hands to the heavens and thank Jehova for not letting me make that bloody mistake. I'm very sure I'd have been divorced, an under achiever or unhappy by now. Cos everyone's journey isn't the same. There are girls who meet solid men and marry early and are happy. So everyone thinks that's how it is and they put up with fuck boys just to marry early too. 75% of the time it doesn't even work cos the guy is just an idiot NFA.
DeleteThat said, I have this very pretty Igbo friend. She works in a multinational oil company and even has a side biz. Very hardworking babe. However, her fuck boy bf has been following her from Uni days and decided not to do anything with his life. He is an irritant and we have decided to eject him by fire and force. And she's still holding on there. Mscheew!! Last time our mutual friend got married, she attended the wedding with the idiot following her like handbag and blocking potential suitors from coming her way. I could tell she wasn't happy, and she's even started losing weight sef. What a life!! Please, is there any correct Igbo guy that is willing? This girl is very very pretty I tell you no lie. Don't worry about the hook up, I would handle it. Just be Igbo, Very comfortable, Catholic and not a fuck boy. gold diggers would be found out so pls stay away. Thanks.
Shuo we have some intelligent genius now,people who don't need to stress themselves with studies whether or not they are studying law,medicine or chemistry
DeletePoster 1 since the dude is not ready to be serious about his life,kindly move on from him. If you continue with him, it shows you also is not serious with your life.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 that guy is a serial cheat, better leave him now.
Poster 1.. move on with your life
ReplyDeletePoster 2.. move on with your life
Lady 1: Please for goodness sake, there is no "educational gap" between "HND Computer Science and law in the University". Both are 5 years college courses. If you live in a developed world like I do, you will not hear this thrash you folks talk about in Nigeria.
ReplyDeleteOn another note, supposing this guy is from a very wealthy background, will you be talking about "phantom educational gaps". Girls should repent and stop manufacturing greed and vain glory when attempting to engage in matrimony. That is why there are so many bitter single girls in the market.
Your advice to p1 is so on point ( anybody that went to poly is rubbish abi)
DeleteLol. Don't mind her. She's studying the almighty law in a university nau. Stupid mentality. After they'll still graduate with 3rd class
DeleteI do not totally agree with you. IT students are not HND holders and it is wrong to compare our polytechnique education with our western counterpart as pertaining to what is being offered. The poster has got a problem not the boy. She just came to her senses because basically it is not about education but self determination - a problem the guy has and she has been managing. She should move on. She is tired. She wants more. No need for referendum.
DeleteI thought I was the only one that noticed that rubbish comparison that poster one made up there. Educational gap my foot and to think that everyone so far, except you seems to overlook that but rather focused on the so called "ambition-less" young man.
Delete@poster 2 please don't go ahead with the marriage. This is God showing you the warning signs. I wish I am in your position to a fresh decision. I saw all the warning signs but I was asking for my parents opinion they told be not to worry that I should continue with the wedding. I wish I had done the what my mind told me then I won't be in this situation today.
ReplyDeleteWomen, hahahah, u guys will sleep with other people's husband when single and expect an angel when married? Ask big babes that married billionaires how dey cope with their cheating husband's, it's called karma dear.
DeleteI wonder why ladies say men cheat and they start screaming.... You hangout with your bosses and clients under the guise of work related friendship . peoples husbands and then when you become serious because of factors beyond your control, you say your guy is cheating.... Kindly try out another one, and he will do same because you have made one woman cry in the past... And her tears aint dried up yet.... Note this is from a man. You ladies just started.
DeleteEach time we have sex she will scream and shout.... I will stop thinking she's in pain then she will shout pls don't stop. in the morning my neighbours wives will be eyeing me and pointing fingers at me. Next I cover her mouth she will try to bite me. I increase the volume of my TV set but when NEPA takes light everybody will hear her screams. I am afraid they may call the police one day. I have called off the wedding. I can't imagine being married to such a girl Kai tufiakwa. Neighbours won't let me rest. Even my neighbours wife ground-floor flat winked at me yesterday. Should I end it?
ReplyDeleteHahaha....u crazy
DeleteU wanna leave her cos she screams when u guys are at it? Mr man, sorry to say...it's like u don't love her again. Her cookie Don tire u Abi? Talk true make devil 😈 shame.... 😜😜😜😜😜😜
DeleteShebi u said u have called it off! Why d epistle again? Hian!
DeletePut pillow on her mouth.lol
DeleteLady 2:
ReplyDeleteYou began "feeding" this guy with sex and got him addicted to it (prove me wrong?). If he is doing it with you while not married, why not with other ladies. A boy who asks other ladies for "nudes" has transcended the bounds of decency and like flow with likes. Cling to him if you want a "nude marriage", sorry a "nude cohabitation".
Facebook poster u better ruuuuun... U would turn into someone u wouldn't be able to recognize and by then it would be too late. If I start to talk...
DeleteDon't make a mistake u will regret for the rest of your life. Ask God for wisdom and knowledge
ReplyDeletePoster1:pls dump him ASAP
ReplyDeletethe educational gap is the fact that u are a law undergraduate n he is an OND graduate
I wonder wat u are doing with such a person
Which stupid educational gap? Law undergraduate that will finish and find it difficult to practice ni?
DeletePoster God is showing you the signs now, so you won't go into a miserable marriage. If you like ignore it and still "chook" head, your cup of tea, just don't come back and write us chronicles after marrying him.
ReplyDeleteposter two you are on your own.
ReplyDeletePoster 2; Oh you are not discussing "real things" with him but fantasies? Keep living in the fantasy world of illusions. VEry soon, reality will hit you.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletePoster 1.Maybe he feels he is still young and you on the other hand don't think age is on your side. And what educational gap pls? Cos he went to a poly and you have just one degree from a uni? Lol. That's why I don't advise girls to date their agemates. You are obviously very close age wise and therefore you guys want diff things.
ReplyDeletePoster 2. You case is tricky oh. Some guys enjoy flirting, they just want to know that they still "got it" and this especially happens when he has been in a long term relationship. The problem if he doesn'have the self control to break it off before it gets sexual. So far his only offense is flirting not actually cheating except you consider that cheating. Sit him down and let him know that you find it offensive that he flirts around. Accuse him of cheating as well sef. Ask him if he won't mind if you too started flirting with every Tom, Dick and Harry. Let him know that it's something you cannot tolerate and that if he can't handle it, it's better you guys call it off now. You are his wife to be. You shld be able to read him and tell when he is being genuinely. As for your fear about the password. Tell him straight that since you are getting married it's time to exchange password and that if he has nothing to hide he shld give you. Don't call of your wedding without having one more heart to heart conversation. Good luck.
Hmm I sumhw like ur comment to poster 2
DeletePoster2: he is not going to stop anytime soon.
ReplyDeleteThe choice is urs
Poster 1: I think your man is not thinking the future, maybe he feels mummy's money is enough for him. Yes you love him but don't let that stop you from achieving your goals for success. Plan for the future
ReplyDeletePoster 2: hmm your man is never going to change. Well you should talk to him about his behavior and if he doesn't change, I think you should GO but if you feel you love him enough to stay, like Stella said, you should be mentally strong.
As for you poster 2- That guy has no freaking respect for whatever you both have. But what can I say? 90% of the married men in Nigeria are cheats and they have wives and kids. So therefore, if some women are doing it, you can 💪 😂😂 keep your eyes on the prize - MARRIAGE. You will have a lovely wedding and all the pictures will be on social media. And all the girls he's razzling will use the picture to gossip. Worse still if it appears on BN them go help you comment there. But guess what? You won't die. You would hold your head high in public and cry on your pillow and spread ya legs and give birth to children and divert 'all' your happiness to your children. And you will live very very long to tell the story of how you saw signs and ignored. Be like that big wedding in Lekki about 3 months ago. As we reach after-party groom dey kiss another babe. Bride dey hotel dey sleep abi count money sef (as we read here on Wedding night diaries). Na shock me and my friend take leave there. His friends were saying 'they have an understanding' he and the babe. I say groom was still in his wedding clothes. Na only blazer him comot. Yet he was kissing a strange woman.
ReplyDeleteGbamu okpa neze nne😯
DeleteWhat ever you mean Stephan. ... I don't understand your language and you don't understand mine
Deleteposter 1 pls how can someone go for IT program after he had completed his studies in the polytechnic? i thought IT should be after the ND program. i think he is hiding things from you so pls just move on with your life already. poster 2,the handwriting is clear so pls make meaning out of it. Good luck
ReplyDelete@posters 1&2, the hand-writing is exceedingly glaring on the wall...use your head!!!
ReplyDeleteBoth of you need slap. Nonsense talk.
ReplyDelete...asin real slap
DeleteDunno if they can't use their brain again.
Poster 2 he will always cheat on you even when u guys are married so its either u ignore his habit of cheating n continue with d marriage. Men r polygamous in nature. So its either u live with it or you leave. The choice is urs.
ReplyDeleteMen are polygamous in nature indeed. If he can't control his sexual urges then he's a dog, not a man. You think women don't have sexual urges too? So randy that he's sending messages to every tara and Maria on fb asking for nudes. That's shameless. Esp if their pics are up on fb. Too shameless
Delete@ poster one;his plans and dreams towards life aren't the same as yours..so you either move on with your life;or stay with him why he keeps pushing you backward..
ReplyDeleteYou both aren't just compatible dear and if virtually you marry him;he would see your actions and opinions being forced down his throat..as he is never ready to pursue any of it!!
With all you stated above,What you need is a goal-achiever;so stick to that and find that man of your dreams...
@poster two;if you believe any of what he told you,then you are the most gullible person on earth..
What manner of man flirts out of boredom with other girls on facebook??
Hope he will feel good when you tell him you flirted with other guys too out of boredom??
And you both are engaged right?? Kwakwakwakwa!!
My kinda person;there is nothing to explain or even talk about;cos it will be more lies to justify a previous lie...
You can talk to him if you wish or if you wanna give him a second chance..but if you can't cope with any of that;let go of him jejely..cos dear,that kinda person will get another woman pregnant and blame it on alcohol..
@MARTINS ABOY
Poster 1: Face your studies
ReplyDeletePoster 2: Use your brain
POSTER 2, ARE YOU MARRIED TO MY STUPID HUSBAND?? WOW!!! YOU JUST DESCRIBED THE IDIOT PERFECTLY. ALL MY FRIENDS, HE HAS WRITTEN LOVE POEMS TO THEM. ONLY THING I REGRET TILL DATE IS WHY I DIDNT ALLOW FATE TO BREAK US APART JUST BEFORE THE WEDDING WHEN HIS PARENTS GOT ANGRY WITH HIM OVER SOMETHING HE DID AND WANTED TO CALL OFF THE DAMN WEDDING. DIRTY FLIRT OF A HUSBAND. NA ABROAD DEY MY MIND ABEG, AS RECESSION DON DEY COME ADD TO THE WAHALA. PLEASE I BEG YOU, NEVER NEVER MARRY A MAN LIKE THAT AT LEAST HE HAS SHOWN YOU THE SIGNS THANK GOD FOR THAT O, I WISHED I WASNT SO NAIVE THEN I WOULD NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS MARRIED MY HUSBAND, I JUST DIDNT KNOW. PLEASE, DONT. THERE ARE TRULY GOOD MEN, UNFORTUNATELY ITS NOW I AM MEETING REALLY GOOD ONE THAT HAS GOT ME THINKING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. I NEED TO DECIDE A FIRM COURSE FOR MY LIFE COS I DONT REALLY THINK I LOVE HIM ANYMORE FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, HE HAS KILLED MY LOVE FOR HIM. EVERYDAY I SEE USELESS MESSAGES TO VARIOUS WOMEN ESPECIALLY MARRIED WOMEN SO BAD ONE EVEN WARNED HIM! NNE, TRUST ME YOU DONT WANT TO LIVE LIKE THIS, THERE WILL NEVER BE TRUST IN YOUR HOME. ITS THE SPIRIT OF LUST, MEN LIKE THIS CANNOT BREAK OUT UNLESS THEY GO FOR DELIVERANCE AND SEEK HELP. HE EVEN HAS A DOCUMENT ON HOW TO SLEEP WITH/TOAST MARRIED WOMEN!! THAT IS ALL HIS LIFE IS ABOUT MY ADVICE? RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN, SISTER, RUNNNNNNNN, WHAT ARE YOU STILL WAITING FOR? RUNNNNNNN!!!!!
ReplyDeleteAnon 15:53 Choi! It is well with you dear. Sad stuff
DeleteBoth of should move on
ReplyDelete@Anon: 15:17. Real trash my dear. Nigerians and their mentality.
ReplyDeleteShe is now feeling superior because she is studying law. SMH.
ReplyDeleteAs in!!! MtchewWw
DeletePoster 2. Yes your man is a cheater that can f*ck even your friends. SIGNS ARE THERE! Marriage won't change him. Can you deal with that? If your answer is no then cancel the wedding if yes go ahead.
ReplyDeletePoster 1- You know that boy is still sucking his mama's breast and you're having Panadol over his head when he doesn't carry your matter on his head. You want him to tell you to wait for him like 9 yrs before you'll use your small common sense and concentrate on your final exams and plan for Law School?
ReplyDelete2. If he loves and can take care of you, marry him. No one is perfect because atimes even the most perfect men (if any) are the green snake under the green grass.
Poster 1, dude isn't ready joor! Poslster 2 run as fast as your legs can take you to avoid a deeper chronicle.
ReplyDeleteChronicle,na wa ooo
ReplyDeletePoster 1....RUN poster 2 RUN
ReplyDeletePoster 2, you'd also have to ask God for the password to his book of life to see all that he has done since he came into the world. He loves you and that's it buh I hate poking for real. I don't even have the password to my girl's phone cuz I don't care...you've got to chill and follow him slowly.
ReplyDeletePoster 1: you've to sit and talk with him...one on one
He's probably frustrated
Dat is how lawyers behave ooo. They feel they are superior to all. One is in my office, always boasting. Poster Mama Lawyer, why are you purusing omo OND. Abeg go and look for your lawyer mate and the one that has ambition.
ReplyDeleteI tire 4 the girl matter o. Abi their fellow law brothers no want them ni?
DeleteI smile whenever I read comments by single girls here, advising other single girls to dump their boyfriends 'cos they cheat - the married women won't do that. Well it is a matter of choice! But my take is, if he is hardworking and does not disrespect you by flaunting his escapades, always caution him; and if you can't take it any longer, discontinue the relationship. But how many relationships would you discontinue in your lifetime - it is in the DNA of MOST (99.4%) men to cheat! Take that to the bank! You will be shocked to know what most men that look and behave like eunuchs or spirit-filled individuals do, in their "own" space - when there are no familiar faces around. You ladies can come poo-poo under my comments but it won't change anything - I have revealed to you the gospel truth. So help me God!
ReplyDelete@anon 17:41 -You have spoken the hard truth, especially as it pertains to Nigerian men. Although 99% is too much na, Haba. Lol. My only disagreement lies in your first sentence. These advisers cut across all marital stata. You guys should please stop making single ladies look like some dejected group. Besides, there are married women who are vehemently against cheating and will advise against falling into it. How can we stop the predicament when we keep making excuses for these men? If you condone it, fine. But other married women dont & surely will not advise a girl to enter such a situation. By the way, isn't SDK a married woman? And as for you, would you allow ur daughter marry such a man who would obviously put her through misery & maybe even STD'S, step kids, etc? If you can't, then it's unfair of you to advise another to do same.
DeleteMadam, please see comment from Anon 15:53 above. That is a married woman with a good heart telling the truth about her unhappiness & advising accordingly. But you'll rather console yourself & suffer & advise another to do same so that they will join u in suffering, as long as you are all 'mrs'. Chaii.. low self esteem is a b**ch. You see what being married to a cheat does to you? It reduces you to nothing & u end up making silly excuses just to feel better. Kpele o! Uve missed your chance but don't be wicked to make another miss hers.
DeleteI'm married and I advice anyone with a cheating boyfriend or husband to dump the idiot. Just because you're suffering and smiling in your marriage doesn't mean that's how it should be. There are countless women out there who are enjoying their marriage with a non cheating man. And trust me, that's the best feeling in the world. Married is meant to be enjoyed not endured.
DeleteAll I can say is HIV and STDs are very real.
DeletePoster 2.... U beta leave dt guy, my was and is still like that and gives stupid excuses dt doesn't make sense too,and he kips running around with his phone....i am already looking for a sugar boy to start fucking self. Stupid man
ReplyDeletePoster 2, im married to a man with very similar dogish behaviour. I wish i snooped thru his social media accounts before i tied the knot...sadly i only got wind of it, after a few years into the marriage, when we mistakenly swoped phones. After that, i began to snoop more and i discovered things that nearly drove me to suicide. He always begs, and claims that the relationships are just cyber, and he has never met them, that its a compulsion he is praying for deliverance from. All lies. Over the years, ive come to understand, that he married me, because i fit his ideal 'wife material, worthy to bear his children, i dont believe he ever trully loved me, or that he even has the capacity to trully love anybody, other than himself. My advise to you, is to break off that engagement oh. He will never change. He will always be very loving and caring, but will have two paralell lives he is living. Im still married, because, i look at this challenge,like my cross to bare, i dont snoop anymore, im almost 50 years old now, i try not to dwell on the "coulda woulda shoulda" of life.
ReplyDeleteStella you really must be a professor at this "Solving Wahala University"...
ReplyDeleteImagine me reading through those 2 "Wahala Needed To Solve Stories"...
Infact, I pity the ladies that are involve stories... most especially
the Wahala solving story number 2... Chai that your man na really James Bond...
Mehn! The guy na really actor wey no dey die for film... But you aunty number 2, youself tight o! Mehn! how you take the generate and secure him password sef...That your software na gbam! Anyhow, sha aunty number 2 the hand writing clear now... But hope say you no dey expect a perfect man sha...because you must marry CHRIST be that or Angel Gabriel or Micheal because na them fit stick only to you without flipping side ways... Seh you understand?... But me self I dey try small small still far better than the chairman, So vacancy still dey here...Lol
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Poster 2,let me share my experience, my fiance ran into some financial constraints and I loaned him some money coz he was wailing he's broke, only for his dad to die and in a haste to get home he left his phone in my place. Months later my phone spoilt and I had to use his. I opened his Facebook messages and saw him promising to buy a girl a phone at the time he was complaining of being broke. I confronted him and he apologised.. I am not really hurt because I still sext with my ex boyfriend of 7 years, who still wants to marry me. Unfortunately, the relationship was an abusive one, so I left. I only communicate with my ex because I like to think I have options. If you have better options and age is on your side, leave that guy if you see no commitment to change. You cannot change him. Remember that.
ReplyDelete...and what exactly is your "experience" suppose to do for Poster 2? Teach her to sext so she can be even with the man? Who needs an enemy with a friend like you...bile infested idiot
DeleteHmmm. Poster 1 and 2,
ReplyDelete@poster 2, listen very well. He is going to get worse after marriage. I ignored the tell tale signs today I can't blame anyone for what I see.
ReplyDeleteBe selfish in marriage decisions.
Poster 2...you're so out of reality that it's actually pathetic listening to you. First of, whatever he is today, y'all made it together...and CONVENIENTLY forgot to state the obvious with whatever you are. You're here seeking advice whether to stay or leave yet you're much more concerned about him changing his Facebook password so you can continue to snoop? I'm sure you little mind isn't sound enough to think but let me tell you that "evidence illegally acquired cannot be tendered in court". You had no trust in this man from day 1 and still went ahead to be engaged with him. I don't know why you would set up to be trying his password on Facebook...leave his account and focus on yours. It's actually near impossible to advise you because you don't even seem to know what you want. You can take the advice of that ashewo who's been sexting her ex for 7 years coz y'all seem like birds of same feather
ReplyDeleteI saw that part too. Me I can't sweat with any bf oh! Cos thats how you be claiming right on what's not legally yours, all cos of sentiment.
DeletePoster 2 I say flee flee flee. Thank God you saw the signs now. It was this same attitude of your boyfrd that made me divorce my husband. Stella has said it all. You will not be able to handle the emotional rollercoaster. And you know what... Its not worth it.
ReplyDelete