Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narratives....

Hmmmmm

NARRATIVE NUMBER 1

CHANGING LOCATION AFTER MARRIAGE IS IMPORTANT?

Dear Stella, please help me publish this on your blog because I need to make a decision urgently. My head is aching from too much thinking, was thinking of meeting a counsellor but…

I am almost settling down with a guy staying at a somehow semi-urban area that is distant from where I am staying now, going to his place from where I am is like 8hrs and if you missed the first bus you are ‘on your own’, mind you no flights here; you'll have to travel to that place by road. We have done our introduction so planning on completing the marriage rites before December this year. I was having doubt about relocating and staying with him where he is but these are my fears:

My mother trained me singlehandedly and I view it like she exchanged her life for me to get higher education and currently I am helping her immensely with the present job I am doing. If I leave my job how am I likely to be able to help her financially considering that the guy I am almost settling down with is a budding business man and very stingy. I am not complaining about myself because the business can averagely sustain us but my mother and my siblings are my fears. My sibling needs my financial help now but I am trusting God for them to be independent in a short while.

My guy will never help me financially towards my family, I once asked for rent from him for my mother but he refused, maybe he doesn’t have or maybe he does, I don't know. But he did not give me any response rather he urged me to save and pay for it. I’m not disturbed because I don’t believe that one’s husband should be her cash cow. I believe in making my own money.

Seriously, he said that he can not marry a wife and she will not be staying with him. 

I somehow agreed but I am having a rethink now especially because of my mother and siblings. I have always longed for this job I am doing presently because it is helping me a lot and I started it newly and have not even saved enough to at least have something in the bank to fall back on.

I want to raise that discussion again with him if I can stay where I am presently after completing the marriage rites and continue my job and make up with weekends and holidays but I know he will not agree.

Please my people, help me with advice as I am seriously stuck. Thank you and please hide my email address.


Why exactly are you marrying this man?tats what you should be asking yourself,if the reason is more important than all this your story telling then go for it and marry him but otherwise i see a one chance situation.i am one of those people who also hates remote areas and what you described up there sounds like a nightmare.

Please discuss one time with him and search yourself.


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NARRATIVE NUMBER 2

WHEN YOUR PARTNER PUTS ON WEIGHT...

Hey Stella how are you doing? 

I hope this fits in well as a chronicle or whatever section you feel it does.

 I've been dating my girl for a while and she's a good lady like literally one of the few women out there a reasonable man would pray for. We both live in the States unlike myself she was born and raised in the States while I moved when I was a teenager. 

The problem is before we started dating, she used to be so conscious of her weight and worked out well. In fact, we even have a joint membership in a gym but all of a sudden she's let herself go and she's gained a lot of pounds, she's suddenly developed a lack luster attitude towards going to the gym. 

She has an event company and her regular day job which makes her super busy but she don't slow down with those foods either, they have to add cheese to virtually every food she orders, we both are barely home but even when we are, we order for food a lot because cooking ain't really her favorite thing. 

I try to cook as much as I can to reduce us getting food outside and stay healthy considering she spends almost the whole week at my apartment but I still make out time to workout no matter what.

Each time I try to talk about her food order, I literally ruin dinner so I just keep mute and hope she realizes.

How do I tell her to watch her weight without hurting her or making her feel some kinda way? Considering people take weight issues seriously here you don't tell a lady about her weight without getting her all emotional and stuff.

I don't wanna ever stop being attracted to her.

Who's been in this situation home or abroad and how did you handle it? 

*I dont know how to do this but perhaps if you buy those magazines discussing the issue and leave it where she will find it,it might help?or you tell her and damn the consequences cos some people have problems loosing weight so its better to help them prevent it.good luck.