Chei!!!
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE....
A BABY MAMA STILL SENDS NUDE AND IS ALWAYS THERE..
Dear Stella,
I am an ardent reader of your blog though I hardly comment. Thank you for this platform...love you scatter.
I am an ardent reader of your blog though I hardly comment. Thank you for this platform...love you scatter.
I'm a 25 year old single mum of a 5year old girl. I had to leave her dad due to domestic violence and after I caught him in bed with my cousin.
Fast forward to 2014, I started dating my now boyfriend who is a media practitioner and I can say we love each other so much (well I know say I love am sha)lol!
He is also a single father of a year old boy, he has introduced me to his family members, we all get along so well and loves me to accompany him to most places and events. Early this year, he started to talk about getting married and starting a home but due to the fact that I am still in school, we decided not to rush anything!
Stella this is where the problem lies: His baby mama is still in the picture, anytime they have a family function she has to be there because according to him, she has to bring their son.
Last year his younger brother's wife put to bed, I was invited and she was also invited unknown to me. She got there a day before and when I found out, I was mad not because she was there but because my boyfriend hid my stuff so she wouldn't see them.
According to him he doesn't want us to have an altercation.
Hmmmm!!!!
Did I forget to mention that she walked up to me to introduce herself on that day.
His mum got to know about it and said he shouldn't have hidden my stuff and asked him why he was leading her on with his actions. He apologised and promised me things will turn out for the better.
Now this coming Saturday is his nephew's birthday(same baby). I was already preparing myself ahead for the party and even followed the baby and her mum for her birthday photo shoot last week. Only for my boyfriend to ping me yesterday to ask "what are we going to do this weekend?"......I asked him what he meant and he said he wants his baby mama to bring his son and that other family members would be there.
He then asked if I was ready to face all man (don't know what that means though). I knew what he was driving at so I told him not to bother that I won't be there. It really pained me as hot tears rolled down my cheeks!
I told him I was gonna let them have their peace ....I don't want to deprive the little boy of his father's attention and company (who am I to?) but I feel something is fishy because his baby mama still sends him her nude pictures and all sorts( I have decided to go hang out with my girls this Saturday instead of thinking about the whole thing).
Stella please advise me. Am I just being selfish or working myself up over nothing?
Thanks, please use your red pen biko!
Thanks, please use your red pen biko!
His baby mama still send him nude photos?He hid your stuff when she was around?
Can you not see the handwriting on the wall?
Some men can manage two women or more without them knowing.Please ask this man if he is still into his baby mama.
Seems like you are in a one chance situation.
He is still into her and valued her. You should wall away if you can. That guy does not like you as much as he does his baby mama and he might argue that it's because of the child between them but my dear a man that is done with a lady will be truly done and know where to draw the line.
ReplyDeleteIf his own mother can take sides with you against his actions then you should know he isn't treating you fairly.
This baby mama of his still has a hold on him and it is far beyond just the child between them.
The earlier you know where you stand with him the better and save yourself the time and effort.
Don't be surprised when you get an invite to their wedding. They are just playing around and waiting for the right to decide when to settle down.
Poster,pls read doppelgänger comment .
DeleteI hate drama,so I can't deal
Your boo is till into her.....he has not gotten over her.
Am out Biko.
DeleteDon't know what to say on this one
Shikena!!!
DeleteExactly. If there is nothing btw them, the homourable thing for the baby mama would be to come drop the baby off and come back later in the day to pick him. There would be an understanding so that you wouldn't feel threatened. Guess who's suppose to make sure your mind is at rest?? Ur boo!!
DeleteAnd to think he was ok with you not coming. Girl once chance ni oo.
I go with doppleganger's comment as well.
DeletePoster you are being played and ur so called boyfriend has no repect for you. Wise up.
You are on a long thing.
DeleteWhy can't he go and pick his son and drop him back later for the baby mama.
Please use your tongue to count your teeth.
They hid your things from baby mama and you are asking us questions?
DeletePoster,the earlier you start looking for another boyfriend the better for you...
ReplyDeleteThis guy has no respect for you and it's likely that he is still in love with his baby mama!...
Don't ever believe everything a guy tells you!...
If you really want this guy to be yours,just go spiritual on him...
Look for a good native doctor that would tie him down for you...
Madam spiritual easy
DeleteMany chic s got married via the tie goat jazzoooooo.
DeleteLmaoooo...Queen y are u crazy😩
DeleteAfrican Mandamus
DeleteJesus! You started advising her on a good note then phew you . The way you advise young girls to go spiritual on this blog is probably the way you living your life if not, why give such evil advice. Please poster ignore this advice and be clean.God will give you your own man in due time.
DeleteWill you like your sons to be tied down with juju like you always preach????? Please answer madam.
DeleteThis is what they are talking about on that Diss blog. Stella you need to start censoring comments here so that they will have nothing to accuse you of. All things are lawful but not all things are profitable. Wisdom is profitable to direct.
DeletePsycho!
DeleteIf he really love's u he will cherish u all dis write-up there's nothing like day,pls try 2 find ur way,i pray God will see u through Jesus the matchmaker will give u d bone of ur bones and the flesh of ur flesh.
DeleteHian, tie goat kwa?
DeleteHell fire is waiting for many people.
Stella pls delete these kind of comments. These is really unhealthy before somebody else would say you're the one who advices young women to do diabolic things
DeleteI love queens comment.. u never cease to amaze me
DeleteAnon above, biko yansh down mbok.
DeleteHave you ever seen a blog where the owner is held for the comments of her blog visitors?
That's why there's a disclaimer. Any advice given here is "caveat emptor'
@ queen is this what they teach u guys @ Tb church...not surprised
DeleteQueen's advice to young girls is either:
Delete1. Get a good lesbian partner.
2. Get a side boo that will fuck you silly.
3. Visit a good native doctor and tie your husband/boyfriend down.
4. Dump the idiot and find a rich guy that will spoil you.
I pity the gullible ladies that heed to your advice. If Satan had an ID on this blog, it's definitely you!
Babe step aside sharply. Unless you have energy for drama. He's still in love with his baby mama. What's the reason why they can't be together?? ??
ReplyDelete@ poster, give him space take care of yourself n your daughter. The man is not over his baby mama, you obviously don't like drama. Let them be
DeleteSister oya take sense since you nor get. What else do you want us to tell you? His baby mama is and always there. Stop acting like you don't know it.
ReplyDeleteYeye story. You are on a long thing.
ReplyDeleteShe sends him nude pictures and u dont know what to do. Hmmm... This isn't a hard case. If he respects you at all, he would make u know that you are the only one he cares about and he wont be sneaking around. The fact that u feel this way already is proof. Pls dont be caught up in this triangle. From the way it looks, she has an advantage.
ReplyDeleteDear you made a nice decision by staying away from that party! Please go out with your friends as planned, try your best to enjoy the day, snap enough pictures of you guys smiling and post on your social media handles!
ReplyDeleteThat way when he sees the pictures, he won't think you've been home sulking or crying. Then after the party, arrange a meeting with him and ask him what his true intentions are. Tell him that the kind of closeness he has with his baby mama makes you uncomfortable and that he should tell you now if he is still interested in her.
Going through this process is just to fulfill all righteousness cos the truth is that the guy is still into the baby mama big time and they might still be having intimate relations sef.. he loved her once you know? The feelings might still be there
So if you are my sister, i'd advice you to do your damnest to stay away from that guy! Cos the way i see it, even if you end up getting married to him. The baby mama ain't going nowhere, she'll still be all up in your business. So my dear, if you can...Please move on!!! All the best
1million likes
DeleteI always look forward to your advice, you are one of the intelligent few we have here. Keep it up
*Fred Iyke
Thumps up***
DeleteAbeg how do I get a profile name Biko!
Wishing I could like ur comment! So on point, poster follow this advice, she has said it all.
DeletePlus, he has a son with him. If he's a typical Nigerian, he will end up with her
DeleteOh...and that his momsy's comment might have been the woman subtly trying to tell you to get your self out of that aituation bit she didn't want to come out straight. She's probably been convincing the guy to get with the girl again cos of the son ( cos her confidence I'm the family:s company...hmmm
He loves you and he love his baby mama too maybe even more. Why did they separate in the first place? Have u asked him? Maybe he is seriously trying to reconcile with her sake of his son and just using you to while away time. Looks like he can't let her go.
ReplyDelete*God bless my Angel in human form*
My dear this man just want you as a second wife shikena! You can continue if you don't mind but I feel you deserve better....but pls face your studies for now and don't make another mistake
ReplyDeleteHmmmm no comment
ReplyDeletePoster it seems you are very selfish and un accommodating. U have a baby with another man and you are still acting as if you are a Virgin, as if man prick never enter deep inside your wet Toto and pour inside .Do you want the man to chase the girl away forever after impregnating her just to make you happy?
ReplyDeleteIf he is rich, he should marry two of you. I know He promised her marriage. And he still has feelings for her.
Is this what you would advice your sister oga? Sincerely?
DeleteThis line of yours "wet toto and pour inside" is becoming stale. Find another hustle.
DeleteFucking retard
DeleteWeyrey😂😂😂, ki la n wi,ki lo n so?
DeleteYes, you are just being selfish and that man is being not only selfish but childish and greedy. If you were this baby mama, will you like to be used to have a baby and dumped?
ReplyDeleteWomen light brain, we're they forced to get pregnant out of wedlock?
DeleteTaink you😂😂😂
DeleteEject Reject...you'll find your own.
ReplyDeleteAfter having a baby to a useless man u refused to have sense, you are still doing mumu for another user? Poster u well so? By the time he is done fucking ur already slacked tohtoh with his wandering oversized dick, u will receive sense. Which sch. You say u dey sef? Ode like u.
ReplyDeleteWhy so bitter???
DeleteMadam poster, you are in a very big one chance. Expect baby number 2 from the two of them. Please leave your boyfriend alone and save yourself from being hurt.
ReplyDeleteThe guy still loves his baby mama and his family members are aware. They can even advice him to settle down with her because she already had a baby for them.
ReplyDeleteMaybe your boyfriend want to get married to both of you. Why not give him some space to see if he will use the opportunity to bring the fling he has for his baby mama to the open.
They are still together. "Finishes"!!
ReplyDeleteShe's always at family gatherings, he hid your stuff when she was around, she sends him nudes. My dear,they are very involved. In other words, they are dating. Please move on with your life, you don't need this kind of drama. Don't make a second mistake.
ReplyDeleteSome people are just spiritually blind
ReplyDeleteSmhow!!!
U had your child outside marriage at 20.So you started Fucking at a very young age.
ReplyDeleteShut up you. Wetin dey disturb you, I no believe say you fit spit this kind rubbish
DeleteGhen Ghen!!!
ReplyDeleteIf i look at it objectively
ReplyDeleteBoth of you are baby mamas
You are a divorced baby mama
She is a baby mama wanna be wifey
Shes fighting hard to get him and i wouldnt blame her much.
A lot rests on your bf and how deep your relationship is. If he has to hide your stuff to prevent an altercation or invites one without telling the other then its your man who has a problem in making a choice. He clearly hasnt made his choice. Or he hasnt made his choice clear.So my advise is for you to either step up your game on holding him- take the extra step to establish that you are the one in control here(see how she came up to you to introduce herself to you) that was her trying to show control so you need to make such moves too. Or you simply step down your game and watch your bf choose her. Its up to you. But you have a weaker stand being an ex- wife. However love conquers all obstacles.
Gbammesttttt
DeleteBest comment!
DeleteI think U should go to that party!
Surprise ur boyfriend, dress really hot, look sooo damn good that he gets confused. If he is so in tune with the girl, go and gist with his mum and sisters. Be SMART. Don't let this girl take ur man if U love him that much. Play ur game right.
Desperado advice, a man hid ur stuff so his girlfriend won't be mad at him, he probably told her u are just a friend. Please forget that guy and move on with ur life
DeleteIf you ask him if he is into his babymama he'll say NO. Why not borrow sense and walk away.
ReplyDeleteDo you want a future filled with drama and baggages
Poster . Wetin be problem of young ladies this days sef......?you wan cage the man abi which 1 be your own?make dem no bring his child again 'cos of okirika like you???"you sha wan dominate the guy life bah!!very selfish pipu.
ReplyDeleteBabe this guy is playing you like football, demand for a change or pls walk away, better yet walk away without demanding. Chances are he'll have another baby with her
ReplyDeletePlease leave that man. He is very much into his baby mama. Dn't be deceived. Just concentrate on your schooling and love will find you at the right time.
ReplyDeleteI have said it before woman wey don born for man don comot from girlfriend position. Once de be is forever de be. It takes the grace of God for people who have kids together to be separated. Most time the baby mama's are not always ready to let go. The man sef will marry another woman and still be itching for his baby mama something. First love no dey let go let alone the one wey born pikin. Abeg poster, if you sabi act drama, you fit continue with your boyfriend but if you are the quiet type wey no sabi act drama, just end your relationship now.
ReplyDeleteSenior on chance ooo,please come down from this situationship,else,you will just waste your time and energy.
ReplyDeleteU are the one deceiving yourself because u already know the truth. If u love yourself, just back off. Let him go,he does not love/want u.
ReplyDeleteMadam, you are still mumu'ing yourself in this Buhari regime when everyone has gone sharp. Forget about the promise you made him biko and show up at the birthday party. Yes!! Shock him with your appearance. Find a time when he is together with his ex and quietly walk up to them, start a conversation with the ex and tell her you love her nude pictures, tell her you have a friend who is a specialist on nude picture creativity, ask if she would like you to link her up with the guy or if she would prefer you forward the pictures to him on her behalf. YES, the first goal is to cause trouble between her and your guy, the second goal is to see who your guy supports/defend between you both, the third goal is to show her you are smart and knows what's going on between them, and the final goal is that you walk away like a champion at the end of the day.
ReplyDeleteBut wait o, you didn't want to attend the birthday bcos his babymama will be there, if you can't stand her now how will you stand her if you are finally married to him? Mu².
I love this strategy!!!
DeleteSeconded! But she go chop well well b4 she go fit act, if the poster is naturally a big time babe wey sabi wetin dey, this her story no go be chronicle, its a thing she can sort out sharp sharp without any wahala.
DeleteI love your thinking
DeleteHahahaha chop kiss
DeleteHahahaha chop kiss
DeleteTohfa tusi great hoooo!!!
DeleteI always like a challenge like this. And i like being on top of my game. If im going to give in, I will give in with my head up high. I will give any baby mama a run for her money. I enjoy silent battles like this. Oh yes. I will step up my game. I will go to that party. And i will be in control subtly. I like the part of letting her know i like her nudes- great body. Shell be good for a modelling agency. Or'can i forward them to advertise her? Then i will be all over the family-. Theres clearly an edge ive got over her if his mum and sister warm up to me so well
DeleteHid your stuff? Dey still fucking Boo,find your way!
ReplyDeleteDont bother ur life by asking him anything my dear, please move on fast! I hv come to realise that most men these days immediately they meet a lady they start singing i want to marry you and all bcos they knw that wen we ladies hear marriage we marriage we would be ready to die there! Nne, i dont think ur peace of mind and that of ur daughter's is worth the time and attention u give to that two-timing idiat!
ReplyDeleteMove on and let better more serious men come in.
Guy is still after his baby mama and the baby mama is still after him. Just back off, you don't belong there.
ReplyDeleteA girl with baggage has no right to complain about a guy with same baggage. If the heat is too much, get off the kitchen. You people should stop 'what do I do, should I leave or stay?' Take decision on your own for once. Whether you stay or leave, non of us would be there with you to help you bear the consequences of taking the advice given you here
ReplyDeleteMove on!
ReplyDeleteHe's so into his baby mama
You're just a side chick
They re still in love.
ReplyDeletePoster its obviously obvious.Why would you still want to get entangled in an odoriferous baby mama higi haga...
ReplyDeleteLmao! You cray!
DeleteMadam you don't need a soothsayer to tell you, your darling baby boo is still with his baby mama, if you think we are lying, just tell him you will be travelling during the weekend, then go to his house on Sunday very early, you can cook up an excuse, make you use your eye see, move on babes.
ReplyDeleteBabes you are on point, except ofcourse baby daddy reads this blog.
DeleteHmmmmmmmm, the truth of the matter is we guys don't always let go off a woman that gives us good sex despite there are issues we can't cope with in marriage. The baby mama give him good sex even though he may not like her as a wife that is why he can't just let go off her but as stela said, you are in one chance cos that is how tins will continue till the baby mama get pregnant again, so back out if you care to know
ReplyDeleteIf you have planned and determined to be his second wifey, please continue this relationship but if not, please speak to your two legs (voom) because that man will end up marrying both of you and you are the secondary here, the primary owns the first child. If you bargained with your God to be a polygamist please go ahead already you have started with your first child. Please go back to your God, attend power must change hand. Shalom
ReplyDeleteHello dear, You need to take a break from him, tell him what you think.
ReplyDeleteSweet heart you are not being selfish at all..If he really wants you, He is supposed to end the relationship with her and begin a new one with you..Please my dearest you deserve better and a better man will come and will respect you whether u have a child or not..Please walk away..You are a strong and beautiful woman and u deserve the best..I must commend you that you were discerning enuff not to attend the nephew's birthday...My dear long and short he is not man enough for you..And Please don't be tempted to go back to him.
ReplyDeleteMadam judjina" you go find her husband seh?as you lay so many male eggs nah!.
DeleteThanks nonye!!!!!! U 're d sweetest.......God bless you for ur kind words
DeleteSeconded👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
DeleteYou never see husband. Get up and leave this fuckboy abeg.
ReplyDeleteListen up, a lot of guys are married to women they don't really love. That nigga might end up marrying you ooooo, but you see that girl? He doesn't only love her, he respects her! Note: I'm saying this based on the fact that he hid your stuff from her and she still sends him nude. As for taking his child to family meetings, I really don't see any wrong with that. The child is still a minor and he belongs to that family. If he doesn't blend from now, he'll feel like an outcast or could be treated as one. You need to be very careful ooooo remember you're a single mum(which comes with drama), you don't need extra drama(s). Be guided!
ReplyDeleteMadam reduce your shakara. Ur market price don go down. Not every man will want to have a relationship with a woman that has a child out of wedlock with another man.
ReplyDeleteThe way people just say walk away, like it's easy to just wake up and walk away from someone you love so dearly, and have even pictured a life with.... my dear, set your mind in walking away, but no rush in it right? just a step at a time, while you're still open to a new relationship/prospective husband, once you see a replacement boo, drop him like it's hot mehn
ReplyDeleteMy dear in this situation the earlier you leave the better for you. Is it by force to marry? And you are just blocking the way for a better man. Leave quickly and face your life.
Delete#spreadsmat...
ReplyDeleteposter run away for your dear life before stories that touch.
ReplyDeleteclick on the link below and create account to make free dollars. it is easy and real.
http://Youthnize.com/?ref=35804
Ask him what? Stella you know what his response will be. So poster, give yourself brain and leave that stupid man and his baby mama alone. Men always want to eat their cake and have it, and we ladies indulge them.
ReplyDeleteI like
ReplyDeletehy
ReplyDeleteD picture is clear now, he's still in love with is baby mama.
ReplyDeleteHy... I was the lady that called you the other time to ask for a link on how to comment or post personal matter on your blog
ReplyDeleteWalk away is not by force, after the 1st treatment from your ex,u still have strength to be with this one,sorry the dude is not worth it
ReplyDelete***Hands on jaw thinking****
ReplyDeleteI dont think its right to force him to ban his Baby mama to stop attending family gatherings.He needs to make that decision himself when he is ready.Meanwhile,the baby will always bring them together in future so its just postponing the evil day.
He is just a weak guy, cos i dont see why he would ask you "If you are ready for all man" meaning if anything comes up you are on your own.About the nude pics....there is also the possibility of her sending it without his request.like see "what you are missing thingy".Then again ,he shouldnt condone it.
His hiding your stuff means that he is scared of HER!!! He didnt want any drama but thats given her too much power indirectly making her feel "she is the one".I feel she even left your guy and maybe trying to come back cos if he ended things with her, there wont be need for this chronicle.
End of Discussion is,your Man needs to show her that you are the number one else you bounce.Except you dont have a problem being the side chick.
How i hate to compete for a mans attention,I bounce before it gets to that biko!!! I cannot come and go and shout.
Forgive the epistle,I read meaning to things fast.
I AM THE QUEEN AND BOSS OF THIS BLOG. I UNDERSTAND YOU WELLA. ITS OBVIOUS THATS THE ONLY WAY OUT IF SHE WANTS HIM BY FIRE BY FORCE. BUT THERE IS NO POINT IN DOING THAT FOR A MAN WHO DOESNOT LOVE YOU. COZ AT THE BACK OF YOUR MIND, YOU WILL ALWAYS KNOW YOU HAD TO "WORK" FOR HIS LOVE,, THAT ERODES SELF ESTEEM COZ DEEP DOWN THE INNER DEMONS WILL KEEP REMINDING YOU THAT HE DID NOT FALL FOR YOU. LOVE IS BETTER WHEN THE MAN IS PURSUING THE WOMAN LIKE MALE COCK PURSUES FEMALE WHEN HE IS ON HEAT.
ReplyDeleteNice comment from doppelganger, not like some mumu guy that commented above, saying she started nacking b4 she was 20years old. Bros pls, when did you start nacking? 35? How old is your present girlfriend and did you ask her what age she started nacking? Bros Jamisi, forming holier than thou. If you no dey fear reply my comment make I give u smack down. Emalowa ooooooo in Olamide's voice.
ReplyDeleteThose of you telling Stella to delete my comment are very stupid!...
ReplyDeleteYou all come here forming holy,so who are the girls out there doing all kinds of jazz to hook up with a man?...
Who are those girls that burn yellow,red and black candle all night to tie their boyfriends down?...
This is what most of you all do!...so why the pretence?...
You all should fuck off!...that's my opinion and if you don't like it,hit your head on the wall...
Dnt mind dem madam.i did the same to tie my then boyfriend now hubby.we have been married for 16 yrs now and it's been wonderful.my hubby does not misbehave too.once my daughter grows up,I will do the same for her.
DeleteLook at them. Shameless old witches! So because you dine with the devil, u believe all others are the same huh? That is how u guys keep consoling yourselves, that others are as evil as you are. Don't worry o. Since y'all aren't even remorse, the same will be done to your sons and daughters. They will meet others just like you who will render their lives useless. Then, what will you say? God will keep you alive to witness all these evil come upon your household so that you will know that you HAVE NO RIGHT TO MANIPULATE HIS CREATION WITH YOUR DEVILISH SCHEMES. You think you are smart abi? Hahahaaa... mark these words, when the time comes, you will wish for death. If you don't believe me, read ISAIAH 47. I have seen it come to pass so many times and none shall escape it. Definitely not you.
Delete@queen: those girls are exactly ur kind na who, just like you, were raised by mothers who were useless prostitutes. AbI u think say na only you sabi winch tinzzz? And those are the same types ur kids & dh will jam soon.
Delete@Anon 8:37 - your daughter will not live long enough for that. God will save her by calling her back home.
Babe, you don't have a boyfriend, apply for the next SnM
ReplyDelete