Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

This is a very long narrative but i have never read anything like this before....

Even James was mentioned inside this Narrative for helping out somehow...

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

CAUGHT BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND THE DEEP BLUE SEA

Dear Stella,

 I am an ardent reader of your blog, just your blog only as I'm yet to see any other blog that catches my attention the way your blog does. Stella you are doing a great work. My story is a long one but I will summarize and hopefully send in all someday for other single and married couples to learn but for now I need you and your blog reader's advise. I'm in the middle of making a decision that I don't know what will be the repercussion either good or bad, I simply don't know as I'm confused and depressed now.

I'm  divorced and a single mom of one. I once sent my rant on your blog last month and I'm here writing back to you. Please Stella, I am not writing to beg for money as I already have options but just need advise.

It's been two years plus now and I'm still yet to recover from what happened to me in my marriage. My marriage was such a bitter one that i don't want to ever get married again and I don' mind anybody calling me aunty gwe gwe. I got married at the age of 23 as a virgin, I had my girl at the age of 26 after 4 miscarriages and at 27, my marriage was over...

I finally moved back to my parents house and that's not the first time of going back to my parents house.

Things have become so hard for me and my little girl. To feed is difficult. Sometimes I have to wait for my little girl to eat  before I can eat or I just pray for it to remain so I can have something to put in my stomach.  

I have searched for a cleaning / nanny job because that's what  I can look for, my certificates are not with me anymore. Everyone I told are wondering why a second class upper graduate will be in search of a cleaning job. What can I do? I don't have my credentials with me anymore. My ex husband destroyed them. During the heat of the fight, I left his house with my little girl with just few cloths (a very small box). After some months of separation and dowry returned, I went back to his house to move my things but he didn't allow me move a pin not even my little girl's cloths. I asked for my certificates even my brother that went with me asked, my ex husband said he didn't see anything like that. 

Maybe he destroyed them or hid them I don't know till date but that's his own weapon to destroy me I guess.

Now you all might be wondering what I did to him to deserve his treatment. I have asked myself this same question over and over again and the only answer is because I refused to remain his wife. The marriage was an abusive one. Constant beatings and public humiliation and within 4 years of living together as husband and wife, my ex husband had gotten three women pregnant.

 The first was a corper. People came to the house to give me sermons of how men are polygamous and I should forgive him. His family apologized and asked me to forgive him. Ok I let it go. I later heard the corper had still birth. My ex husband brought a lady to the house from his village to assist in house chores. This lady has a small stature but older than me. She's a single mom of one and her son is 18years. According to my ex husband, she is his uncle's daughter and he gave this pathetic story of how she was suffering. I so no reason to doubt him, I'm this type of lady that just believe whatever he tells me for peace sake in the home and NO I don't snoop, I love my peace. 

Ok my ex husband will tell me, dear this cloths, this shoe, bag etc you don't use them anymore, why don't you give it to her? I will be like oh that's true and I will give all to her. I treated and respected her as my sister in-law and not like a maid.

Some months after she said she was leaving. I asked 'aunty se mo se yin ni' (aunty did I offend you) she said No o. It's just that she is missing her people and she doesn't like Lagos life style. I can't force her to stay especially when my ex husband was busy forming vexation, shouting on top of his voice saying she is an ingrate let her go bla bla bla. I was the one calming my ex husband down that he shouldn't be angry with her. She left back to her village.

Months after, my father in law died. We went for burial. I saw this aunty or nanny or what should I call her? She was pregnant. Infact 8 months gone. My people if you see the way I was happy eh like at last this aunty has found herself a man. I teased her Iya Ibeji( mama twins) etc. After the ceremony, my sister and I took a walk( I'm not from that town/state). We stopped to buy bush meat and palm wine in one of the joint. As we were eating, the men at the joint started talking about my ex husband to the extent of saying see who lagbaja left to go and give that dirty girl belle. He left this beautiful educated woman for that dirty girl that even the village ode( hunters) has been 'toasting'. One of them was even beating his chest that he can write ABC more than the lady my ex husband got pregnant. 

My sister gave me a surprise look. I quickly paused my palm wine and bush meat and asked the men who are they referring to? They mentioned my ex husband alias and the same so called uncle's daughter. I shouted 'iro ni o' (It's a lie)! The woman who sold the bush meat and palm wine said 'se pe e ti mo' (so you don't know)? I don't know how I got to his family house in full speed. I called him out and ask him if he was the father of her unborn baby, he denied it. He said his enemies have started. I laughed and clapped for him. I was laughing like a mad woman. So I called the lady, I forgot to use aunty this time around.

 Infact her answer was straight. It was a yes. Even his family and almost the whole villagers said Yes , only my ex husband remained on No. I said my dear this whole people don't hate you to the extent of lying on you. Even your family? Just tell me the truth. Then he said yes. I cried. I threw things. I scattered the small room. Threw plates. He begged. He prostrated ( he is good at that. In short Yoruba men sabi prostate if they don do bad things lol). His mother begged, everybody in his family begged.

 They said he won't marry her that as soon as she births the baby she would leave bla bla bla. Uhm I was hurt beyond repair, two days later, I left their town with my baby. I was still hurting when I got another news that his ex girlfriend has a child for him a boy, my girl is just some months older than the boy. I remembered seeing this boy picture on his phone and i asked 'kilode ti omo yi se jo e bayi, haha oti jo e ju' (why is it that this boy looks so much like you) he said you remember that my cousin nau, that my mother sister, sister 3rd child in the village, that is his son. I was such a mumu raise to power 2. I called him to congratulate him on his so called mother sister sister third child son. He was speechless.

I had a business then. I was into importation. It was doing exceedingly fine. Trust me very fine. So I got myself an apartment. I was managing my business and taking care of my girl. She was just a year and didn't know what was happening and I'm so sure she can't recognize her father today. We were both living fine. I never dated any man because the fear was too much. It got so bad that when I see men, I see this monstrous look in their face. Sometimes when the opposite sex is talking to me,  I will say in my mind 'won ti de o, e jo e ko wahala yi ma lo o' ( they have come o. Please take your trouble away o). I became so independent.

 My ex husband was busy begging and sending people to beg me. I didn't love him anymore and I made it clear to him that I no longer love him but he could come around to see his daughter. I was so calm and friendly with my words to him.
Family meeting was held. My mind was made up to end the marriage. It was agreed that I keep my daughter with me since he had no job to cater for her. 

Uhm that was the moment where my nyash got opened. My family got to know that my ex husband has been out of job for the past 4 years. I was the bread winner. Catering for him, my girl, his relations and my relations. I never mentioned it to anyone. Infact whenever my mom asks for money, i will tell her 'let me tell daddy lagbaja. I am sure he will give you the money' Uhm shame catch me no be small. You all need to see the kind look my parents gave me. My mom was like ' so iwo lo bo oko e titi ko pata idi re' ( so you are the one fending for your husband even to the pants in his buttocks lol). 

His family begged me to give their son money to start a business to help him survive, I refused. My ex husband begged me to give him money, I refused.

Dowry was returned. So my brother and I went over to his place to move my things but he didn't release them to me not even my certificates. He started saying that it is because I have money that is why I said I'm no longer interested in the marriage. He started threatening me. He even said I will see what will become of me. He said when my money finishes, I will come running to him. My family and I didn't listen to him. We took him for a joke. We only felt he was bluffing.

It didn't take long before things started going wrong/down. At first I didn't understand what was happening to me. It was as if there was this mark of hatred on me. People started avoiding me for no reason. Business wasn't doing well like before. Whatever I lay my hand on will fail or die sef, as in something bad must happen.  Before I knew it, everything started falling apart especially my business. There's no week that I won't have accident and I will be asked to pay for damages. I started struggling to put things back in place. At first I didn't suspect it was spiritual not until my account went from 8 figures to .0.

I couldn't pay my rent. I couldn't pay my girl school fees. I couldn't feed. My business completely got wrecked that's another story of its own. I fell into depression and suicidal. I was looking like a mad woman. 

So I went back to my parents. My plan was to stay there till things are cool or till whoever is pursuing me stops following me. I went to MFM prayer city for deliverance. Omo see fasting. I attended Holy ghost services and Daily manner programs but for where things kept getting worst. My cloths got worn out. I patch and patch so tey the tailor(customer) in the town got tired of cutting and pasting pieces in between my cloths. My jeans trouser nko? I have never seen where jeans dey loose elasticity except mine. My tops refused to retain their beauty and color. I kept on rocking them though 'oun lani la gbe laruge'.

 Whatever, I'm still the village champion after all na only me sabi Sdkblog for the town *wink

My parents went for prayers too. I started healing gradually. Before I will just be indoors crying, thinking, talking to myself but ever since I stumbled on sdkb, everything changed. Whenever I'm depressed again, I will quickly buy 100 naira airtime or simply borrow from my service provider to read sdkb. I won't even know when I will start laughing till I forget my pains. There are days that James comments  makes me laugh till I am almost passing out as a result of the laughter. 

Sdkb was my medicine and  not too long I got addicted to the blog. Yes God used this blog to heal me. I started laughing again. I started participating though anonymously.

I let go of the past. I took part in the SnM for the first time early this year. It didn't go too well because I deleted all the guys. I was afraid and besides, a lot wanted my picture and I don't have good clothes or hair do to hang out with some of them. Even the distance didn't help matter. I couldn't tell them so I deleted everyone of them. I tried the SnM the second time again, requesting for female friends because I was in need of friends. I accepted few that sent in invites but they deleted me except for one babe maybe because I'm not the Brazilian babe they expected. So I stopped partaking in the SnM because it's not for ladies like me.

I've looked for a job and asked people to get me a job but I'm yet to get one. I've dabbled into different business but it didn't do well because I need finances for it to grow. I've talked to some top shot I use to know in the past but these people are capitalising on my predicament. I talked business with them but they are taking it personal. Some of them want to have sex with me and that's why I'm still yet to get back on my feet I guess.

Stella I have prayed and I believe I'm delivered from whatever forces that's fighting me. I believe God has delivered me from the shackles of the devil. I want to return back to business, go back to school or better still get a job that requires no certificates because I don't have the money to process another certificates. Stella I have called those top shot I use to know before. I even begged them to get me a job but some of them are beginning to ask me out promising to take care of me and my daughter.

Stella, I have never had sex with another man except my ex husband. I have not had sex in two years plus now. Next year will make it three years and I don't masturbate. The one that is doing me is more than konji now. Since January, I have been rejecting their offers because of this my good girl attitude. I was consoling myself that God will do it in his due season.

Last month August, I prayed to God to send me help from above. I told God I wanted to start a food business. I made a pledge. There's this ori oke I do go to in the village. The pastor abi na prophet has been noticing my frequent visit. He called me during one of my visits. We spoke and he prayed along with me. Messages/visions were given. The pastor calls me all the time to check on me and pray for me. 

Stella, on Tuesday(6th September) 10am I saw a missed call on my phone. I didn't call back because I didn't know the person. 30 minutes later the pastor called me. He said he gave a man my number, the man called me but I didn't answer my call. He said the man is one of his candidate that comes to the ori oke for prayers. He briefly introduced the man and said he told the man about me and the man is willing to help. The pastor handed the phone over to the man so I spoke to the man.

 We exchanged greetings and introduction. He sound elderly and promised to call back. Some minutes later, the man called me. He did a proper introduction on the phone again and asked how I was coping, I told him God has been my strength. He said he is a very busy man that is always on the move. He is a car dealer with branches in Lagos and outside Lagos. He imports cars and trucks. At first his name didn't click not until I remembered that I have seen his company along mile 2 road and the island before. Stella I was very happy that help has finally come at least this one is from the pastor. That same Tuesday he called me and told me that he couldn't find me on whatsapp, I told him that whatsapp can't work on my phone so he said I should call him before sleeping that night which I didn't.

The following day Wednesday, he called me in the morning to check on me and asked why I didn't call or flash him before going to bed, I told him I was sorry I had no airtime on my phone,30 minutes later, he sent me 1500 airtime. I was surprised because it has been long I loaded such on my line and besides I didn't ask for it. I called him to thank him. That same day he called to tell me that he wants me to see him on Friday and probably spend the weekend together to discuss the way forward for me. At first I didn't understand but out of respect I said ok sir. He kept on calling and discussing about me coming to see him during the weekend. I became worried again. I asked myself I hope this man is not after dating me. 

On Thursday he called me, after greeting me he said his friend was around that he just came from Abuja that I should say hello to him. In my mind I was like O God, which kind thing is this na. I sha spoke to the other man on the phone 'hello sir...' and he said we are expecting you  I manage to say yes sir. He called me again and was pestering me on coming to see him this weekend, he then said we should see if not for the  relationship but to know me and discuss the way forward. I decided to inform the pastor that the man he gave my number to, ask me to come and see him on Friday. The pastor said 'ko si problem, ati jo soro'(there's no problem, we have spoken). 

Later the pastor called and asked why can't I do the whatsapp he couldn't pronounce it well sef then I told him my phone can't do it. He then said is there no way you can send your picture to this man, I said there's no other way sir. I got more confused again.

Stella I joined one or two together from the conversation between the pastor, this man and myself and I just concluded that this man wants to date or have sex with me. The way and manner he calls me too gets me confused. This man even said I should send him my account details if I know I don't have the transport fare to visit him but I'm yet to send it to him.

Stella it is true that this year I once thought of going into prostitution or even lesbianism whatever will pay my bills. I even searched google lol but I didn't know how or where to start from in short I have no cloths to put on to seduce anyone. It is true that I was tired of being a good girl because it didn't help me at all. All the bad girls  I know during my university days have a beautiful life to the extent that I'm ashamed to go close to them now.

Stella I have lost lots of help and money because I refuse going into relationship with these rich men I meet. Now this is yet another one. I have been praying since this man called me on Tuesday. I have been begging God to please take sex away from this man's mind. I cried this week. I've been confused and depressed. I've been asking myself, is selling my body in exchange for money the only way out for me? 

I've not had sex in two years plus and I don't want to do it now not even for money anymore. I've not shaved my pubic hair in two years now and that doesn't mean I'm dirty, its only my own way of saying gate closed. Since I left my marriage, I've not tamper with virginal. I only get to touch it when I clean up and change sanitary pads.

The year is running to an end and I'm yet to do something for myself. My little girl is 3 and yet to return back to school. So many things to be done yet no cash. The devil has been ministering to me. The devil keeps saying just do it once to be free from your financial handicap. Ever since this man started calling me, my head has been ringing 'don't loose this one again o, many girls will jump at this offer, do it for your girl etc'. Infact whenever I'm having my bath, I will just look at the gate down there and ask myself does it mean I have to clear this bush and make way for this man to drive in? Then I will start crying again because I can't explain what it means to spend the weekend together to discuss the way forward.

 Does it mean the pastor got me pimped or the pastor is not aware of the man's intention? 

Stella today is Sunday, I didn't visit the man. He called me again to tell me that unless I find all means to see him, there's nothing he can do to help me. Stella am I just being paranoid? Could it be that he has no bad intentions? Could it be that he just wants us to spend the weekend together without sex or whatsoever?

 What if I visit him and he then asks for sex, will it make or mar my future? What if I say it will be just once and it continues? I don't want to compound my problems. He is married and I have never dated a married man. I don't want to ever cause another woman pains by dating her husband. Now I'm left with the option of waiting on God even if it means forever or doing it in my own human way.

Below is an offer she got to make way for her progress-

HMMMM...I am in deep thoughts right now but before anything else,please do not take that pastor or the mans call again...and please call me,I have been expecting your call.

DO NOT TAKE THEIR CALLS AGAIN...THE DEVIL IS A LIAR!!!