Chronicle Of Blig Visitors Narratives...

It really doesnt matter if its black or white right?

NARRATIVE NUMBER 1
THE PROPHECY

Hi Stella, thanks for this platform. I will like to remain anonymous. Your red pen would be appreciated and advice from BVS.

My story might be lengthy but please bear with me. I come from a home where my father was very strict and unappreciative of my mother bordering on violence. My brothers and I weren't spared so I had always nursed this anger for my father and I became hardened emotionally.

At a time, I was chatting with my mom and she said my dad disflowered her and I made up my mind not to keep mine since it didn't guarantee a happy home (I was thinking out of annoyance) so when I got to school I gave it up to my 1st boyfriend. Now this boyfriend of mine truly loved me because I was really defiant and will not be taken for granted, it took him a while to soften me and I fell in love with him, not long my mom called me (she has been battling with illness for a while and I guess depression worsened it) then she went for prayers and was told I shouldn't date anyone light skinned (I liked fair guys)..that the union(if it gets to that) will make the person not prosper!

I was devastated but I couldn't afford for someone's life be ruined because of me...so I ended the relationship, he thought it was flimsy at that time but I was scared.

Over the years, I've dated (dark guys by the way and doing good for themselves) but I realised that I love them but not totally in love... I hold myself back maybe from fear or maybe because I haven't completely gotten over my first boyfriend (it's been over a decade and I still think about him). 

Once a while I stalk him on social media...he has moved on and doing well for himself.

My mom feels bad most times (I know she told me out of love and what she thought was best) and can't even pressure me because she feels she is responsible for my state.

I'm doing OK. ..though looking for greener pastures as per my work. I'm over the bitterness from home.

My dilemma is I'm 29, can't seem to keep a relationship, I need not to think about my ex ...I want to love without any restrictions on skin color (God isn't an author of confusion). I want to fall in love and be loved in return.

How do I truly not condition my life around this prophecy, make my mom not continue to wallow in guilt and MOVE ON....

Stella, BVs I need help!



I really do not know what to say but let me try.

If your state of mind was poisoned by what your mum told you then you need to renew your mind by thinking positive.

Some prophets are prophets of doom so i wouldnt take them serious if i was you.

...........................................................................................................

NARRATIVE NUMBER

Hi Stella, I just started reading your blog recently and feel I should just talk to you. Please don't reveal my identity.

Here's my chronicle:
I'm a 26years old lady with a good job in a reputable organisation. I stay alone and I must tell you I'm very lonely and depressed. I feel all alone in this world. My mum doesn't live in the country and my step sis and I don't stay together. I'm the only issue between my parents.  

I had this boyfriend I dated during my youth service and I really loved him. But I found out he was doing my friend so I confronted him and he started asking why I was going through his phone. This is a guy my friend that introduced me to him warned me against because she knew the kind of person he was. But I still went ahead to date him because I felt I should be the judge myself.

 Three weeks after the confrontation, he came begging and I took him back. But in my mind I knew once I left the city after NYSC that was gonna be the end because I don't trust him again but still loved him. I got back to Lagos and stopped talking to him as we use to before. Then months later; he got a better job in Lagos and also moved to Lagos so I thought just maybe things might work out between us. This is a guy that knows the right things to say to a lady to make you feel good but when it comes to action, he doesn't do well at all. 

He was always giving me excuses of how tiring and tasking his job was and that is why he can't reach out during the week. But weekends, he can call for me to come over so he could have some punany and he stays very far from where I live but I still go anyway.

Then suddenly, I started getting a feeling that he was hiding me from his mum because he stays with her. He'll always invite me over whenever she's not going to be around and his mum is a pastor. I mean this is 33 years guy. Will his mama tell him not to have a girlfriend? Then I started feeling that he must be seeing someone else that his mum's knows about so I stopped visiting him then February 14th of last year, I broke up with him.

 I'm a pretty girl and I have guys asking me out day in day out but because I know what I want, I turn them down. But this very guy I like doesn't treat me right; he hardly calls me nor keep in touch, always giving me one excuse or the other. But I'm very lonely since I broke up with him. I've met other people but it doesn't work out and he is still in my head. Then fast forward to this year June, during my birthday I reached out to him and that was how we started again o. Bur now he comes over to my place because I now live alone and told him I wasn't going to be visiting him. I told him the success of the relationship lies within his hands, he promised heaven and earth and was even talking about marriage.

But he still hasn't changed;  doesn't get in touch except weekends and now he has no problem coming to my house.  Then I asked my self, is it because he's seeing free punany and all comes in so easy for him? I am not happy at all.

Am I asking for too much attention?  I mean my work is tasking and busy as well but that doesn't mean I don't wanna hear from my man all day not to talk of days.
I just need advice as to what to do because I am very lonely and depressed. I thank God for my life and where I am nonetheless. I just feel so incomplete. All I do is work home and back to work. I'm always indoors all weekend and nowhere to go. I need help and I don't wanna disturb my mum because she's got her life to live..

BVS you all should be gentle on me as I know some of you peeps have bad mouth. Lol! Thanks in anticipation.