hmmmm....
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
THE SIGNS WHEN YOU ARE DATING YOURSELF IN A RELATIONSHIP
Good day Stelz...
I'm really confused and tired of my relationship, I will try to make things clear just to make you understand want I'm into and if I'm over reacting. Sorry for the long chronicle.. Thank you
Have been dating my bf for 10months now, it's been good and bad.. When we have issues I'm always the one who settles the issue because my bf won't make any attempt to and he's so good at giving me attitude, I do most of the calling, I'm careful with the words I use when I'm with him, no emotional talks all we talk about mostly is work related issues.
we work in the same office. He doesn't tell me what he feels about me, trust me I can't even say or tell you if he loves me or not. The times we see are the times I make arrangement for us to, if I don't do that he doesn't bother to do same, we don't chat, if at all we do I always initiate it.
Recently I snooped on his phone, and he has two girls he's always in contact with, and he's different with them, he calls, chats with them, sends them sweet text messages and he's always worried when he doesn't hear from them. But with me it's a different thing entirely.
He calls the shot, and he's a churchy kind of guy 'Christian brother, recently we stopped having sex because he said he doesn't feel cool about it anymore that we're committing sin against God.
I'm bored, tired of the whole issue, and I'm finding it so hard to move on because I'm in love with him already and he's the only one I'm dating, I know I deserve better but I just don't know how to go about it.
Pls I need your advice and that of BV's on how to go about this.
Thank you Stelz
*Stop chatting with him..Stop calling him,stop Initiating anything..GIVE YOURSELF SENSE,the bro already broke up with you but you are taking time seeing it.Please dear,move on already.
When you have throw yourself on someone all in the name of love,its not a relationship,its situationship.
.............................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
HEART LOOTED VIA CHAT
Good day Stella, please hide my identity and I will go straight to the point.
I participated in the one before the last SnM, I added people and people added me but there was a particular guy whom I added and immediately we started communicating. Our communication was/is very interesting, matured, interesting, full of laughter, it was if we have known each other in which he confirmed it first to me.
Now he is older than me with 8years, he isn’t married very single and my kind of person and we haven’t seen cause of distance and we are both working, we live in different states but still in Nigeria.
Now I am already beginning to have feelings for him (we don’t any sexual talk at all, we only say funny and intelligent things), I don’t know if he is also having feelings for me cos I can’t speak for him (he is very much matured than me and very real I am also matured and real) we chat everyday even at work (from morning till night and we don’t get tired and that may have made me believe he is into me and isn’t really chatting with any other person), up till now we haven’t spoken over the phone just chatting thou he has my contact.
Now my issue is am i being too forward (I don’t want to rush anything cause I want us to take our time to know each other and let the feelings grow to something beautiful and maybe legit) or he is just watching from the sidelines to know me better or he is just leading me on to nowhere?
Please I need advice from you and BV, what should I do because I don’t want to create something that is not there in my head and I don’t want my time to be wasted.
*The Singles Mingles before the last one would mean about 2-3 months?The one tagged ''Loot my heart '' in May?
My dear,dont bother yourself with whether he is into you or not..just look at him like an APP on your phone that is helping you pass the boring times.....
How can you fall in love with someone you have not heard their voice?He told you he isnt married,how can you be sure?My dear dont lose your feelings please.
Waffy people go say ''Na Market you wan buy so!''
Hmmmmmmmm.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, Na wa for you sha.
DeleteBoth posters u need, new men in ur lives!!!
DeleteWhy do ladies always do this, so quick to give away their hearts and are always the last ones to retrive it bck.
Obviously poster two that guy is using u to kill boredom! For more than two months, any one that is into u would move mountains jst so he can do that,abeg give ursef brain.
Poster one, u jst listed the signs that ur dating ursef, they say the first step in finding a solution is admitting that u hv a problem in the first place. Move a bit further and live that man's life. I didnt it was easy bt honey, its gonna be worth it!!
N pls how did u guys actually start dating if he never spoke with u?? *jst tinking😄😄
Poster 1, delete his number from your phone, so that you will not be tempted to call him or chat with him on whatsapp,
DeletePoster 2-you said "now he is older than me with 8 years"sorry were you older than him before?anyway,be smart,since you both are working,could you invite him to your comfort zone(where you are resident)not your home oo.
DeleteSee him and then decide if you've truly fallen in love or in lust.
Poster 1-continue dating yourself,you hear?how can you comfortably date someone in the same office and expect things to go smoothly?
Give yourself SENSE before you come back and cry suicide!!
You self b smart
DeletePoster 1. U have been dumped period
DeletePoster2. Haba jus enjoy d flow. If u can't den kuku come out n ask d guy what u pple r doing period.
LMAO @ looted via chat. Now let me read
ReplyDeleteToday's supposed educated girls are actually very dull,it is even the men who are telling you guys to stop Fornication,I just wander how a smart girl will part her thighs and allow a man insert his manhood into you without marriage,tufiakwa!most of today's girls must have mental issues because mad people always think you are sane.
DeleteThank you Anon 16:58- our monthers were actually smarter. See mumu questions
DeletePoster 1: u guys were never dating so there is not talk of breakup here.Office relationships aren't always fun cos dude might likely have his main chic outside.Just stop all the trying to get him to talk etc if he loves u he will do it without thinking.
ReplyDeleteYou really might b forward darling cos for all we know he might be married and u r here concluding for him.If u r that important he won't limit it to chats cos many girls like us will say if there's no social media won't he call? Men don't fall in love as we do just over chatting? My sister wise up abeg.
Poster 2
ReplyDeleteGo and Sit down. Desperado!!!
That's how you people will be running faster than your shadow. After untying your legs, you will enter the comment section in anony mode to preach "beware of Bakare, who added Ade?, who knows Charles in Lekki that fucked me on the floor"?
Mshew!
Matured and real ishie
Lmaoooo quick quick
DeleteHahahahahaha...
DeleteLmfao!!! Laff haff kee me here oo! Chai, quiksilver got no chill.. I so like ur comment jare. Don't mind dem
DeletePoster one must be an ugly,bleached out FAT girl to be taking such rubbish from a man...
ReplyDeleteHow can you be dating someone in the same office with you?...Mumu girl...
Don't borrow your self brain...be there asking some stupid question....
Poster two
The way he is chatting with you is the same way he is chatting with many other girls here...
I don't know why girls are always in a hurry to develop feelings toward a guy...
Well,if you really want to him for yourself,go to a good native doctor and get a correct jazz to tie him up!..
Kisses oh jare
DeleteThe jazz woman.....
Delete*have...
DeletePoster 1 since you're comfortable being a doormat, remain on the floor, you hear?? Poster2 Ibu gwegz?? Why the rush, calm your toto down please
ReplyDeletePoster 1 you already know you are not in a relationship.
ReplyDeleteWhy are you even dating a colleague? It mostly never ends well and after the break up, how do you intend to go to work everyday, see his face and not be sad.
Madam you are dating yourself though and the sooner you remove yourself from that toxic relationship, the better.
Poster 2 SMH you are not even well.
Just chat and you feel this way then I wonder what and how you'd feel when he starts to call.
If a guy wants you, nothing and I mean nothing will stop him. So for over a month now, he likes you but can't call to even hear your voice? LOL he is just using you to pass time.
Ladies please stop dating your colleagues
DeleteLemme read comments
ReplyDeleteNa to read comments. Association of learners admitted the two posters.
DeletePoster 2, your story is the younger sister of poster 1's story. That is how it would end up. How can your heart be looted by someone that hasn't called you? Na wa o! If he sounds like an imbecile nko? Or even a chronic stammerer? Abeg just use him as a boredom blocker for now till he comes out clean.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, I ve been there before and trust me I have learnt much much better after it happened. Nigerian guys dnt tell u let's move on when they want to break up, they just stop communicating and start the attitude. U wld use ur medulla oblongata to calculate you are dating urself and move on.
But office date sha???????????
Una get mind o! I nor fit try am
Poster 1 & 2, heed Stella's advice.
ReplyDeleteHappy weekend everyone.
@poster one,as a unique lady with brains;you set a standard for yourself!!
ReplyDeleteIf he isn't doing all what you stated above,but is doing so with other ladies out there;then what does that depict to you?? Doesn't it mean that:
1) you are the side-boo whom he uses to pass out time,or just for fun
2) He doesn't have any feeling for you..
Please dear;if he isn't reciprocating the love;caution yourself!!
You are a lady and you need his attention plus care without having to initiate;and not vice versa..
He is supposed to be craving for your attention plus time,while you will be doing the "Little shakara" and feeling loved..
#cheers
@MARTINS ABOY
Kisses oh jare
DeletePoster 1. He's not just that into you. You were probably just a fling and you took it serious. He wants you to leave him but he doesn't want to say it. He is giving you all this attitude so that you will go away on your own. The msgs you saw should confirm that to you. He has stopped sleeping with you cos he is getting sex from somewhere else. Stop wasting your time and energy on him. Someone good will eventually come your way.
ReplyDeletePoster 2. If he likes you the way you like him, he would have said something. Don't spoil a good friendship. That's what you are to him a chat buddy, nothing else.
Poster 2.y are u like this now, falling in love with ur phone is what you have done, ur mumu is the worst cause u have not even heard him speak before yet u have swallowed all the lies he has told you, please be smart and stop this crazy love,are there no men in the state u are leaving haba.
ReplyDeletePoster 2,u are needy so he doesn't find that attractive, please move away from a man that doesn't shake when he hasn't heard from u,he is not into u.
Poster 1, you are in fact dating yourself and have refused to borrow sense. Run as fast as you can,love indeed. The guy has never been into you. Poster 2, lia lia,na candy crush you de play for your phone. You guys have not talked on phone even once. Are you for real??? Nne talk a walk already
ReplyDeletePoster1. Please leave dat guy he does nt love u as u cn see him is a cunny christain guy that has d heart of deciet
ReplyDeleteMy heart was looted via that loot my heart SnM. Stella will be the mother of the day at our wedding. I promise to send pictures for real, not like those "for your eyes only" people. I'm not ashamed of anything, why will I hide it?
ReplyDelete😂😂😂 Iya Weyrey! Na your types I dey gbadun. Not Ndi pretenders
Delete😂😂😂 Iya Weyrey! Na your types I dey gbadun. Not Ndi pretenders
DeletePoster1: the writing is on the wall. The guy is sleeping with 2 ladies, plus you, making 3. Are you a learner? Aids is real. Receive sense
ReplyDeletePoster 2: just move on. This one is not interested in you. He is using you as a side dish to be used if first course and main dish no reach.
Poster one, u r just an office romp to him naa, don't u get d memo? Dude is tired.
ReplyDeleteJust drink coconut oil and you will know what to do,lol
ReplyDeleteLolz....... Lyk seriously???
DeleteNarr 1, please love yourself and buy yourself some sense.
ReplyDelete@poster two,if he "Needs" you in his life;he would speak up..
ReplyDeleteStop catching feelings when there is none..
Except you wanna do the chasing and wooing?? If not,continue seeing him as a "Talk-to" kinda friend...
If he loves you and is shy,scared or afraid on what your reaction would be when he speaks up;dont worry either...his body,mind and soul will continue pushing him until he is tired to keep mute and thus express his feeling to you..
Till then;Erase that feeling and concentrate on other things..
#cheers
@MARTINS ABOY
Poster two, that's how u girls catch unnecessary feelings, meanwhile d guy is just having fun.
ReplyDeleteCommon sense chronicles but unfortunately una lack common sense.
ReplyDeletePoster 1. Ignore the crap outta the guy and do your own thing. Which kind love be that one you come dey feel for am, and he dey fall your hand so? abeg abeg abeg. Meanwhile, don't people at work place it doesn't always turn out good. receive common sense.
poster 2 , chai! You dey fall my hand oo, person you never hear em voice, na em you dey fall for? What happens to calling him if he doesn't have credit or you are broke too? Common, make the call first and hear his voice first, make an arrangement to see him before you fall in love. Make you no go dey fall for deaf and dumb oo. Just kidding.
Poster one you got me laughing. Hope you get the right response here at the end.
ReplyDeleteI just tire for ladies. All this am in love this, am in love that. Sound funny to me. Ladies please use your sense if there is. Poster one, you're the one I it I at in everything in a relationship and you fail to realise that the guy has moved on. He must be a very nice guy to stop sleeping with you, cos he is obviously sleeping with someone else. And I don't even understand all this Internet love, for 2 months or more both of you have been chatting, nobody has made a move to call?hmm. I hope he us not a spirit.
ReplyDeleteIst to comment
ReplyDeleteOK. Clap for yourself. Shogbó?
Delete@poster1 move on wit your life and stop loving someone that don't care about your feelings.... Hmmmmm@Poster2..... Ghostlover hope you won't met him cripple lol......
ReplyDeletePoster one, stay there and keep dating yourself. That guy has already left you, move on!
ReplyDeletePoster two... low expectations my dear, low expectations. You are reading way too much meaning into it. That's the problem, we female catch feelings pretty fast. biko, don't try to turn a good rapport into a relationship. If it's what he wants too, then he'll let you know.
Get busy,it'll help you take your mind off him.
I'll suggest reading a novel or actually working when you at work in that time you use chatting with him. Hehehe. Goodluck!
Poster one and two, Stella has just given the both of you solid advice..how you proceed from here on, is entirely up to you two.
ReplyDeleteI dedicate pink's "perfect" to both of you..
*sings* pretty pretty please.. Don't you ever ever feel less than perfect..
Mhen 2 of una mumu nor be small...
ReplyDeletePoster two. Get your head out of the cloud. Why the guy no dey call you for over two months now ? If you like start the calling o... Lol
ReplyDeletejust reading comments...
ReplyDeleteRat De smell
ReplyDeletePoster 1 please receive some sense biko
ReplyDeletePoster 1.E be like say na you toast the guy.
ReplyDeleteNa real market u wan buy @poster 2
ReplyDelete@poster 1, we are in d same boat. Mine was six months cos I have have taken a walk.
Poster1:just do what Stella said. I used to be in your shoes but I gathered courage and blocked him on social media and plus deleted his numbers. I avoided him like a plague in the office until I had moral to face him again. When I did that, God blessed me with a man who worship my foot path.
ReplyDeletePoster2: you are a big fool to believed to a man you hasn't seen or heard his voice. How are you sure you are not chatting with a married man or worse still a teenager
hmmm, abeg the 1st post according to stella Give Your Self Sense, haba. meanwhile no be u see 2 babes 4 him phone with attention. Sidon make pant dey wear you
ReplyDeleteHahaha na real market be that. Poster1: Just forget about that idiot, he doesn't deserve your love, your care and your concern. Just let go of him like a piece of shit dropping off your ASS
ReplyDeletePoster 1 Learn to love yourself in other words, know your worth.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 Let's assume all you wrote is true, don't you think he will see this? Doesn't it bother you?
Poster 1 pls don't give me that church boy comment again, he told u he wanted to stop the sex coz he was tired and wanted to try other ladies. Delete his number if u have him on whatsapp and bbm block him, make sure u always say hello to him at work but also make it seem like he doesn't exist. Don't spend more than 30secs talking to him always form busy and pls move on.Its one of this two that would happen. 1. He may realize that he misses ur attention and come back to his senses or 2. He'll be happy u could read the signs on the wall but if ever 1 happens don't date him again. Kapish
ReplyDeletePoster 2 I feel like laying my hands on u to say "Receive Sense" so for about 2-3 months u havent talked to him and u are already falling in love with who? NNE its all in ur head come back to reality. Just like Stella said let him be an APP on ur fone just like candy crush the game u play when u are bored. Allow urself to fall in love with a human being.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 the guy you are dating stop chatting, calling and even stop making love to you, what does that tell you? That he no longer has feelings for you. Babe please move on. Poster2 why in a rush for somebody you have not met, abeg cool down until you see him in person.
ReplyDeleteLol @ both narrators,umunwanyi!!
ReplyDeletePoster one: Have just one word for you "RUN"
ReplyDeletePoster two: tread very cautiously and guard your heart
Vote SDK for Best Blogger of the Year!
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Nice piece @Adanne et @Ehlarh. Stella lols at "situationship"
ReplyDeleteHmmmm
ReplyDeletePoster 1 and 32 am jus watching both of u, make una two try get sense biko
ReplyDeleteDear poster one and two..... Are u related? Both of u are birds of same feather. So because people keep saying husband is hard to find u want to turn yourselves to oshonfree. U Berra cool down n look for a bf that loves u. Dem wan rush go altar, oya nah, be going
ReplyDeletePoster1 dat dude is nt into u!infact u dating urslf!poster2, dat dude uv bn chatting wit,its either a teenager or a married man!hw cn u be chatting wit som1 uv nt spoken to or evn seen?wat if hs a ghost?y delude urslf?is dis wat boredom or loneliness can cause?nne biko borrow some sense na!get to call d guy,insist dat u guts must meet!wat if hs an imbecile or a cripple?pls get into d real world wit d guy by calin him and insist on meeting him in a vry neutral place,den if u like wat u see,u take it up frm der!pls be wise!do nt rush into wat u wld end up regretting at d end of day!I wish u gdluck in ur game of cupid wit ds ur mystery chating partner!
ReplyDeletePoster1 dat dude is nt into u!infact u dating urslf!poster2, dat dude uv bn chatting wit,its either a teenager or a married man!hw cn u be chatting wit som1 uv nt spoken to or evn seen?wat if hs a ghost?y delude urslf?is dis wat boredom or loneliness can cause?nne biko borrow some sense na!get to call d guy,insist dat u guts must meet!wat if hs an imbecile or a cripple?pls get into d real world wit d guy by calin him and insist on meeting him in a vry neutral place,den if u like wat u see,u take it up frm der!pls be wise!do nt rush into wat u wld end up regretting at d end of day!I wish u gdluck in ur game of cupid wit ds ur mystery chating partner!
ReplyDeletePoster1 dat dude is nt into u!infact u dating urslf!poster2, dat dude uv bn chatting wit,its either a teenager or a married man!hw cn u be chatting wit som1 uv nt spoken to or evn seen?wat if hs a ghost?y delude urslf?is dis wat boredom or loneliness can cause?nne biko borrow some sense na!get to call d guy,insist dat u guts must meet!wat if hs an imbecile or a cripple?pls get into d real world wit d guy by calin him and insist on meeting him in a vry neutral place,den if u like wat u see,u take it up frm der!pls be wise!do nt rush into wat u wld end up regretting at d end of day!I wish u gdluck in ur game of cupid wit ds ur mystery chating partner!
ReplyDeleteGirls can be stupid sha
ReplyDeletePoster 1...you choosing to ignore the signs is not going to end well for you, you better sit up, chin up and look pass his shoulder, because I bet u someone better is behind him waiting for you!!!
ReplyDeletePoster 2, I bet u a girl has been chatting you up
Well wait for the original comment
Take it easy girl...
ReplyDeleteposters 1 and 2 go with Stella's advice.
ReplyDeletelols...@ GIVE YOURSELF SENSE
Poster one don't tell me that you want to waste all your life on just one prick? When you have millions of them out there. Move on with your life, dump his sorry ass. You sold yourself out on a cheap ground, the guy has sucked you dry and he now needs fresh and sexy babes.
ReplyDeletePoster one don't tell me that you want to waste all your life on just one prick? When you have millions of them out there. Move on with your life, dump his sorry ass. You sold yourself out on a cheap ground, the guy has sucked you dry and he now needs fresh and sexy babes.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 you are so desperate and a cheap girl, why did your snm guy refuse to call you since you both added each other? Ladies you will never have sense, be careful before you enter one chance, the guy may be playing a fast one on you, goodluck.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 until the guy carry placard before u go no say he don tire with the fling thing cos its not a relationship @ all. @ poster 2 come let me give u correct slap to reset ur thinking faculty
ReplyDelete