Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative..

what!!!!!!

 NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE.
MARRIED TO A MAN WHO IS LIVING SINGLE
Hello Stella, thanks for the platform you have created for people to reach out. I am a BV but I always comment as anonymous, so I will appreciate that you please hide my ID.

I don't know if this qualifies as a chronicle, but I need I advice and ideas, on how to go on.

I got married in 2010, to a man I thought was my best friend. Financially we were somehow equal, though my job paid higher than his. I let him live the life he wanted, I don't bug him, I don't nag, I don't ask for anything because I have a good job. 

Now people are blaming me, they feel I gave him too much freedom and that's why things became so bad. 

He made money and things changed. I realized that he hates everything about being married and being a father. He doesn't wear a ring, he hangs out with friends and comes home late at night, EVERYDAY. 


Friends of girlfriends have come to me, acquaintances have asked me to caution him, but he doesn't listen to anyone. He womanizes no doubt, but I hate the fact that everyone knows he does. I know men who cheat, but you will never know until you "catch them" red handed. His own is so pronounced that people now pity me. 

What hurts me most is the fact that he doesn't even have time for the children God has blessed us with. He enjoys living life like a single man. His girlfriends chat him up at past midnight, and from the content of the BBM message, they don't know he is married. I look very good. I work out, I dress well and people tell me always that I don't look like a woman with three kids.

Now I'm trapped in a loveless marriage and it's depressing. I want to leave but everybody says I should stay for my kids sake; because I come from a broken home also. But I feel it's better not to have a bag than to have one with a big hole in it. 

I need advice on what to do and how to get over this depressing feelings. What I know for sure is that I can't continue living like this, I am only 33 years old.


*ah ah,what is all this?Is this a marriage?WOW


..........................................................................................................


NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
CO- BUYING WITH YOUR SPOUSE ISH

Good day Stella. I don't know if this falls into a chronicle, but I need a second opionin and advice. 

I am newly married (7months now). Generally things are fine and going well. I am am currently jobless (searching for a job, submitted applications here and there). My husband and I are planning on buying a car this year as we need one. I have savings which is more than half of the amount for the car, and my husband is working and bringing the other balance. 

Now my worried are: 

1. I don't feel too comfortable contributing all my savings towards this project. I feel  every woman should have money stashed somewhere,' just in case'. I do not want to be completely broke, which I will be , if I contribute all I have(considering I don't have a job for now).

2. My second worry is whose name will be in the papers. I discussed this with my husband and he said his name, cos its a family car lol. I refused, I suggested my name, considering that I will be bringing more than half, at the very least both our names should be in the papers.

3. Stella I am so confused, I am considering reducing the amount I agreed to bring to less than half, as this will enable me to still have some cash for rainy days. I really don't want to get broke.

PS: my family will never be in support of me combining my money with his to buy/do anything( reason is a long story for another day), so I can't discuss this with them. I plan on telling him that my mother requested for a loan which I have to give her to avoid contributing all. 

Am I doing the right thing or being selfish?, especially since its the both of us that will drive the car? 

Pls use your red pen, I need experience advice. 

Thanks. 

*Are you a learner?you should never ever let your man know how much you have in your account my dear..some of them always want it and when you refuse na wahala.

And please do not give him all you have,you need money stashed away for a rainy day like you rightly thought.....You dont need to use your mum to lie,just tell him you didnt check well,that you dont have as much as you thought you had......I dont know about names being on the paper but everything my hubby buys even with his own money has my name as well...thats how it is done here so i cannot advice you on that but please save for a rainy day and avoid the stage where you have to beg for money for sanitary towel from him..ITS DEGRADING!