Must you Marry?
For the past few days, pastor Adeboye's advice to youth on marriage has been trending all over the place. I suspect that the good pastor's yarns tells me that he is a man suspended in time, between old and new school.
Don't get it twisted, in as much as I flow with his definition of a good woman, from his statement I see that the obvious way to his heart is through his stomach and of cause through prayers. Good, No wahala.
However our amiable pastor rubs it in when he starts to yarn Akpata, " Marry a warrior, if a girl cannot pray for one hour, don't marry her. Don't marry a girl who is lazy, who cannot cook. She needs to know how to do chores and cook because you cannot afford to eat out at all times" Hummm na wa!
Really?
Seriously?
So if my wife to be can't rant, chant, shout and generally carry on as a prayer warrior, praying for a whole hour, the woman doesn't deserve a wife status. Abi?
Oga pastor, that one na missyarn. Over praying does not make one a better husband or wife, because the world especially Naija is filled with Fake people and "Fakest" pastors. Does a man having a job guarantee that he will make a good husband?
Does a woman knowing how to cook guarantee she will make a good wife? Haba.
Ok I get it, The Nigerian god has an ear infection, so we must shout and pray for hours because that's the only way he may listen to our prayers, right? I know that a man is suppose to marry a helper and not a cook or a house girl. By the way, is anything wrong with encouraging your young male congregation to learn how to cook and do chores too.
"Do not marry a worldly lady" what the heck does that mean? Is it about being materialistic or just being fashionable, looking nice. I guess in your book we can't be a good Christian if we got swagg and we are trendy. Judge not pastor.
We must all not look like Deeper Life people to have a personal relationship with God. By the way, if you want to start writing your own commandment you may as well write your own version of the bible for your congregation. Na una way.
Being married should never define a man or a woman. Marriage in a few years anyways, will be out of fashion. Being married is only nice if we are lucky to pick a partner who will be our friend, if not, that maybe hell on earth. All of us must not get married if our threshold for nonsense and garbage is low.
The world is obviously changing and we are no longer in the 60s. Who wants to be suffering and smiling. Most importantly marriage should not be a milestone for anyone. Yes o.
Like I always say, it will take two to tango. Marriage only works when partners are determined to make it work. It can never be a merit badge, or a status for happiness. Many of us are enslaved in our myopic mindset that makes a mess out of what should really be a good friendship.
So Oga pastor Adeboye, watch your yarns because a lot of people lookup to you, Biko. I don talk my own.
*I agree with some aspects of Charly boy's response though...My argument remains that being a cook or a good one should not define why a man marries a woman...A man should marry for love and all else will come.
Otherwise the Pastor should balance his report and preach that women should not marry men who cannot make love or Kiss and Yes that would amount to testing before Marriage,otherwise I dont see why a man should test a woman's wifely skills before he decides to marry her.
#WifeNotCook PLEASE!
Hmmmm....everybody has an opinion
ReplyDeleteTell them
DeleteAm in support of all of charly's response, he spoke my mind, being a good cook doesn't not guarantee one a better wife or being a salary earner doesn't guarantees a man being a good husband.
DeleteMarriage
DeleteMarriage
Marry marry
People n marriage ......
I agree totally with charly boy. This topic should rest already, to each his own
DeleteRespect for Charleyboy now. Tank you Stella.
DeleteOsetigo on instagram. Ladies said no wahala, from now on, test the penis to see if he can nack punani, vjay for one hour before marrying. Lol
DeleteWatch @lapearlnyc
Wow! This marriage of a thing has become a HUGE topic! No wonder most singles feel pressured! Please, does marriage now have a manual filled with policies and procedures? This life is funny! You will see the bad girls getting married while the " holy holy" are still waiting on the Lord! So, there is no moral justification here! I believe , Love conquers all!
DeleteLol
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
Everybody now seems to have a response to what he said. Is not a must you abide by it if you feel it won't work for you. Eni ba leti ko gbo ohun ti Emi so, even here on this blog when there is any bad situation sent in chronicles of my marriage we all say take it to God so someone that doesn't pray well before will understand how to take it to God or be running after men of God.
DeleteI totally agree with everything charley boy said
Deleteyou people should allow the man of God to rest.
ReplyDeleteHow do you know he is a man of God? Most of you don't love Jesus the way you love pastor's,most of you here preach Fornication and most are supposedly Church people. Real "fakest" people
DeleteI love Charlie boy so much,i see a very responsible family oriented handsome man behind his razzness. Most of the so called calm guys can't even keep a home but this gentle man has been in marriage for ages
DeleteThis cooking issue is
ReplyDeleteOver flogged
Over flogged
Over flogged
But if a lady cant make a simple decent meal even as a single person then u don't deserve to eat a meal prepared by someone else.
Slim shady......I love dis ur comment
DeleteSeriously ? If you can't buy a car do you deserve to drive one bought by someone else? Everyone should marry who pleases them. My uncle once told me he doesn't like his wife smelling like onions. He always has a a cook. I have a friend who no woman can cook for because he is a great cook and would rather cook for the family. Many women are the main bread winners (like me) not because we are more hard working but God blessed us with better paying jobs and our our husbands support us with domestic chores. It is working for different people in different ways. Some people decide they want to marry women that cook well and the wives live to cook and it is working for them. People are sad in marriages because of stereotypes. Choose what works for your marriage and leave stereotypes alone I beg.
Delete"People are sad in marriages because of stereotypes"! Thumbs up!
DeleteAnon 15:13, God bless you.
DeleteAnon 15:13, wish there was a like button.U make sense die!!
Delete👏👏👏 Charlie
ReplyDeletePastor Adeboye's speech was for black people not whites because for here, oyinbo wey my brother marry can't cook, can't pray but she is a pleasant girl!
DeleteThere's a huge sense in Wat he said even though am not his fan
ReplyDeleteThank you chally.
ReplyDeleteLike I said on the previous post, I don't know Daddy G.O to say such things..
Daddy ko. Papa ni
DeleteTur @ 1nigeriangirl,
DeleteThat's what they call him now, so who am I to object that?
Hehehe!
DeleteWhen will this generation men of God just focus on winning souls to heaven... theyre seriously losing their track, now they participate in everythg, from politics to selfies to intagram... to hiring a divorce lawyer. hian
ReplyDeletePlease leave Pastor Adeboye alone! He was talking to his congregation and not everone. Marry whatever kind of wife or husband you choose just dont come writing chronicles for us.
ReplyDeleteAbi o👍🏽
DeleteThis topic don tire me!
ReplyDeleteFor peace to reign,
Do not cook!
Make we rest!
Happy?
*slices waterleaf*
When will this generation men of God just focus on winning souls to heaven... theyre seriously losing their track, now they participate in everythg, from politics to selfies to intagram... to hiring a divorce lawyer. hian
ReplyDeleteAsinehh. Face the work of God
DeletePastor A.E Adeboye wasn't talking to everyone. Take it or leave, he was only preaching to his congregations. All the souls he has being winning na u dey win am for him. Social media gives everyone right to insult or talking down everyone who speaks their mind.
DeleteDo u know that his words c can cause c racks instead of mending. After all the work he has done for God.
DeleteWell said charlie
ReplyDeletecouldn't agree more
This matter isn't resting any time soon. To each his/her own jare.
ReplyDeleteJenny Ekwe!Why would I scam?I only pen down my pain,my anguish,my sorrow cos I can't tell everyone.I am not lazy,its just that my job hasn't been forthcoming..I work and I know how hard it is to make money,so No I will never scam and let Heaven be my witness.
ReplyDeleteJenny Ekwe!Why would I scam?I only pen down my pain,my anguish,my sorrow cos I can't tell everyone.I am not lazy,its just that my job hasn't been forthcoming..I work and I know how hard it is to make money,so No I will never scam and let Heaven be my witness.
ReplyDeleteOlubankole
Why won't a man test a womans wifely skills before marrying her Stella? Na wa for you sef ooooh, a man uses his hard earned money to pay bride price, to buy bags of salt,kolanut,carton of wine,beer,minerals, goat, cow,chicken, bags of rice, in order to feed total strangers and few family and friends he goes as far as booking a venue, paying for decoration, he goes through the stress of meeting to the demands of some selfish family members of hers, just so she could bear his name and bear his children and you say he shouldn't test her wifely skills? Abeg abeg abeg my sons will not try that rubbish. They must test before marriage, what if she doesn't know how to even dress the bed she sleeps on? Abeg you world people have change the whole idea bout marriage into something else.
ReplyDeleteWhat if it sons can't get it up or last 5minutes in bed, so women should also not marry them abi?
DeleteAbel go and sit down jare!!!
You really need to take several seats with this your myopic comment..are you for real? Did anyone force a man to marry..do you know the risks involved in getting pregnant and having a baby,do you kno wat it means to trade ones names for another,oh yes he should test ur wifely duties because he has all the husbandly duties ryt? My friend go teach your daughters and sons to respect and love womamhood and manhood and stop yarning dust...how much is adopting a baby here in nigeria compared to ur so called marriage expenses? And oh yes because he paid the women should kill themselves....i see you must be a broke ass woman to think ur mans expenses are overboard.its people like you dat end up with wizards who would see dem as trash bought materials and still u go back amd lick his ass...infact i just lack words for ur stupidity
DeleteAbel go and sit down... So I that Cain can stand up... Lol
DeleteSteffy and her mis-yarn. Abeg learn first
DeleteHave said it before. If I ain't fucking I ain't spending, I might let her get away with about 100g or more.......
Delete#wifenotCook#
ReplyDeleteI am feeling Charly Boy....
ReplyDeletethe pastor is getting old n thinking varies, my wife pray for 2min should I throw her away? my wife cook perfectly but I don't have a good job should she throw me away? haba pastor? what are u encouraging? as God call pastor so does Satan.
ReplyDeleteTo each, his own.
ReplyDeleteHe will not rest o@dimond,so if I no pray for 1hour God nogo ansa??or if I no sabi cook make I no marry??
ReplyDeleteStellastica baby I am sure you can cook o, no matter how basic, be deceiving all these blog visitor girls that can't even make tasty indomie
ReplyDeleteLol... All these single girls be tearing mouth here.. Ppl advising you are happily married and cooking for their hubbys oh
Deletei love d part whr he said he shd encourage his male congregation to learn to cook and do house chores!
ReplyDeleteExactly
DeleteThis matter is over flogged abeg. There are better things to worry about than the views of one man.
ReplyDeleteWomen train your son's well to not dream or aspire to marry a good cook, rather your sons should be trained to be great cooks themselves.
Marriage should be about love and mutual understanding and not on ones ability in the kitchen or bedroom or financial capacity. With love and understanding all other things will fall into place.
Oga charly, watch your tongue. That's all....
ReplyDeleteWatch his tongue or what??.. That's why most of u have turn robots doing everything men of God tell you... God gave us complex brains... He knew we will question him sef.. So calm down let's use our God given brains
DeleteHahahahahahah...
ReplyDeleteThis man is so funny...
Nice..
Oga charly, watch ur tongue. That's all....
ReplyDeleteHe really needs to watch his tongue. I won't say more than that.
DeleteYou should have said anything at all...hypocrites. Because its ur papa,no one should talk abi,even if he says jump into fire,we would all applaud ryt?..u amd ur supporter should take several seats..
DeleteJesus and only Jesus remains the standard. Not Pastors, bishops, papa, mama, dada, daddy but Jesus and Jesus alone.
Deletea.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
ReplyDelete.
Lmaoo... Pastor really fucked up though no doubt.....
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***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
Can somebody pls explain been a worldly lady? Is it dressing like mfm member or deeper lifer? Because if na so I nor nor do..I believe in d principle DAT looking good is good business.. What ever I put on,God always answers my prayers whenever I pray
ReplyDeletePa Adeboye dont have time for u guys. He has spoken, he has spoken what God wants him to speak
ReplyDeletePastor Adeboye spoke to the People God sent him to. The Wise will take counsel!
ReplyDeleteBetter don't blasphemy,how do you know it's God who asked him to say it.
DeleteThey should let the pastor alone
ReplyDeleteNa wah oooo.
Stella i thought u dont support marrying for love as a priority?
ReplyDeleteAll of you are just taking the cooking thing out of proportion. He said we shouldnt marry a lazy woman, that was his emphasis ftom what i read.
My take is everyone has different priorities. Me i cant marry a woman that isnt a Christian and spiritual, has manners, can hold a convo, fear of God etc.
To some their own priority is sex, food etc. So everyone to his own
Well said
DeleteGood to kno...buh hope u have have wat it is you ate looking for in her,plus the extra things she desires..hope you wunt start preaching *be content with the little i give you* if she complains its not enough..i hope you kno she wants a man who can provide her with her needs....remember everyone has what they want and if you insist on urs,i must insist on mine and pls dont preach to me when i ask for mine
DeleteGbam!!! U just talk my mind
DeleteSo all those bankers that lost their jobs within the space of months and don't have jobs again,dont even no when another one will come in this naija,so their wives should leave them? No job is no job,it could be good from start,so what about along the line if job no day again? Will they pack out? We don't pray for evil days.
ReplyDeleteMumu Dts what you are
DeleteIts surprising how people shrink away from the idea of praying for at least an hour daily. Jesus scolded his disciples when they couldnt last an hour watching.
ReplyDeleteA Lot of us can spend hours gisting with our friends but cant talk with God for 10mins. It is simply because we have reduced God to a request granter. Yes, we tell him our needs and he does it. God wants to be oir friend. Jesus who was the son of God, while he was on earth prayed aggressive prayers even to the point of his sweat being like great drops. Do u think he was making requests for himself? He was showing us examples of what makes up a worthy chriatian life. Praying for an hour for a christian shouldnt be something to be apprehensive about. If u know and love God, u would enjoy spending time in his presence in prayer nd u wont know when the time would fly. My opinion.
Thank you anon, same people saying they can't pray for an hour would be on SDK blog for hours. God help this generation.
DeleteMy dear the Jesus i know and was thought about was never aggressive in prayer.he was always calm and subtle,meek and humble whenever he wanted a request from hos father...he wasnt a man of many words he would rather recoil unto himself and sob seeking hos father in hos innermost heart.if i can be content with the little one my husband provides for me,then my dear husband would also be content with the little i can offer him.....
DeleteWell said. People look @ d surface meaning but not d deeper meaning. Just like d bible says "my people perish becos they lack knowledge". God help this generation.
DeleteLoving God is mostly how you treat people around you and how you keep God's commandment I.e avoiding sin.ok not just prayer.
DeleteDo you know in Matt chap 6,bible talks about repetition of words or praying with many words not a criteria for God to answer prayers.
DeleteAnonymous 15:53 ur head dey diamond ojaré
DeleteDo u know exodus 21 talks about how to appropriately beat up your slave? Pls...religion is the problem with the world.
DeleteWhy una dey stress unaselves? Daddy G.O. Only advised his children. Jesus said "I know my sheep and my sheep knows me and they hear my voice" Q. E. D
ReplyDeleteHis children?.... Or God's children?
DeleteThis matter will not end I know.
ReplyDeleteWhich food did Eve cook again ooo? Abeg somebody remind me!
ReplyDeleteNo fire that time... Na only fruits dem chop
DeleteWhich bible Jesus read? What was the name of the bible? Ooooops
Deleteif a man wants marry a woman who can cook, let him marry a food blogger or chef or better join a foodie group on FB. Simple!
ReplyDeleteAnd if he wants a 1hr+ prayer warrior, let him go to/join MFM or white garment church simple!
I have said it many times, too much religion makes one mentally unstable. Many ppl who pack these churches, mosques and temples are mentally ill, from pastor right down. Everything in moderation in life, even religion. Not every week in church sometimes stay home and do your own thing, not everyday reading Bible or Koran, sometimes just meditate. Not every prayer just asking for things, sometimes just make your prayers just thank yous. Moderation always!!!
ReplyDeleteI wish I could kiss u right now...
DeleteIs from this same blog they said a lady shouldn't marry a broke ass guy that love is not enough, continue hating the man of God for no reason.
ReplyDeleteCharly boy or whatever you call yourself, the man of God was speaking to his children o. You are not his member so why having headache over another man's advice to his children? Please, you guys should stop disturbing us with your useless opinion. The advice is not for everybody. Pleeeeaase!
ReplyDeleteThk u oo.It is not for everybody oo. We hear stories in d courtroom couples coming to dissolve their marriage cos wife cannot cook for 20 yrs. In a nutshell, look before u leap
DeleteAnonymous, did God call him for a select group? Think before you start talking or typing. He is A MAN OF GOD, that means he's representing God. Did Jesus despise anybody that came to him? Don't get ticked off because he may probably your "daddy GO". He is NOT God!
DeleteSo as a Christian and man of God only the people who attend his Church are his children. What type of Christian and man of God is that? is that what the Bible teaches?
ReplyDeleteI respect the Man of God but that opinion of his belongs to someone with a parochial mindset.
ReplyDelete