Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Two Deaths,Two Stories And The Lessons Learnt -A Must Read!

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Sunday, July 10, 2016

Two Deaths,Two Stories And The Lessons Learnt -A Must Read!

This article is like stirring the hornets nest because It tells the stories bold faced and without fear.....
Things will happen to your mind after reading this piece....you end your reading with a sigh,a hiss or a deep revelation that it is what it is!
An Epic Piece from the stables of Rueben...





Two lives lost recently in the creative industry convey useful messages in terms of the import of their careers and the circumstances of their departure:....

 the elderly actress, simply known as Bukky Ajayi, and the music entrepreneur, multi-talented artiste, producer and musician, Babatunde Okungbowa, popularly known as OJB Jezreel. 


Bukky Ajayi died aged 82, and she has been well mourned by the artistic community especially members of Nollywood who have described her as a role model, an iconic figure and a motherly figure to younger actors and actresses. 


      Many mourners have added that her death is shocking: every death in Nigeria is considered shocking ironically, even when the dead is as old as 100, or has been known to be terminally ill. 

In March 2016, when Bukky Ajayi received the Industry Merit Award at the Africa Magic Viewers Choice Ceremony, she was already wheel-chair bound and terminally ill. But I guess we are always shocked by death, because we always expect our loved ones to live forever. 

And 82-year old Mama Ajayi was truly a lovable figure. In a rich career that spanned 50 years, she proved her mettle as a talented and committed artiste. She started out as a television assistant, and later became a presenter, a producer of programmes, a newscaster and an actress. 


      She would later attain fame as an actress when she began to feature in the well-known Village Headmaster. She also featured in Amaka Igwe’s television series, Checkmate. 

Home video lovers further enjoyed her artistry and creativity in such movies as Mother of George, Diamond Ring, Witches, Thunderbolt, Elastic Light and Critical Assignment. In the course of her public career, she always encouraged younger artistes, appearing in their various works, musical and dramatic, including the video of Jesse King Buga’s anthem-like effort on Motherhood: “Mummy oh, oh, wa pe laye, mummy oh, oh, wa jeun omo, e niba ni ko ni ri be, a fo loju, a fo loju, a ko si enu trailer, a ku tu e.”


Bukky Ajayi lived long: hers was a fruitful life of achievement and as at the time of her death, she could indeed look back with joy. 

     Every young artiste would wish to be as durable and as continuously relevant as she was, but while the younger generation can certainly emulate her professionalism and commitment, there is one other lesson that many of those now mourning, especially the much younger female artistes can learn from her example: and it is a lesson about virtuous professionalism, humility and decency. 


I do not mean to be offensive, but I hasten to say that many of the younger actresses mourning Bukky Ajayi have missed out on one of her important achievements as a female public figure for about 50 years. Her life was completely without scandal. 

    I say this to draw attention to a growing concern in Nollywood about the persona of today’s female actresses. There is a widespread impression that to be a Nigerian actress is to live an open, unhindered life, without moral boundaries. 


Very few actresses of the younger generation have been able to survive so far without scandals. They seem to have acquired for themselves a curious reputation as party boosters, serial baby mamas, husband snatchers, fortune-seeking, fortune-hunting, occasional porn artistes, with the most notorious in this category better known for the manner in which they flaunt body parts rather than their talents. 


      There are at least three of such actresses who are truly the most notorious poster girls. They claim that they have just one life to explore and their chosen lifestyle is part of showbiz. In a movie that is scheduled to hit the screens very soon, nearly all the actresses are in fact, bare-chested in the promotional trailer. They would call it art of course, or dignify it with the word, acting. 


There is also the bleaching, chameleon crowd of Nollywood beauties. Bukky Ajayi was proud of her African colour and identity. But go round Nollywood:  too many of the actresses have changed from being dark-skinned to tomato colour and shouting yellow within a space of 15 years, such that their old photographs seem like they were taken by different persons bearing the same name. The overall effect is that the more remarkable stories about many of these actresses is not their creativity, but the size or shape of their biological parts, the kind of men they are able to attract, or the endless scandals about their private lives.


     Those who claim that this new trend is a result of a creeping Hollywood effect in Nigeria, especially now that globalization, and the success of Nollywood is fasting closing the gap between Nigerian and American artistes miss the point.  Decent professionals who can serve as good role models may well still be in the majority in the industry but the part-artiste-part-hustler members of the community are promoting a stereotype of the Nigerian actress that does damage to the integrity of the profession.


 It should be possible to be a celebrity and a showbiz personality and not be a constant supplier of outrageous stuff.  Bukky Ajayi belonged to a different generation of Nigerian female artistes: those who combined virtue with professionalism. Enough said: her legacy of integrity, modesty and decency should be the big take-away for younger artistes as they mourn her departure.


      Babatunde Okungbowa (OJB Jezreel)’s death raises a different kind of concern.  There has been very little talk about his achievements as an artiste; whereas he was without doubt a multi-talented and resourceful creative worker whose contributions set a high standard for members of his generation and those who collaborated with him to produce good music.  Unfortunately, his travails with kidney disease dominated the last three years of his life. In 2013, he underwent a kidney transplant in India; last month he died due to complications arising from the same problem. 

        One of the notable messages from his passing has been the reported complaint by members of his family and close associates that many of his colleagues who trooped out to mourn him, following the announcement of his death, distanced themselves from him when he was ill, and in urgent need of friendship.

 Extremely few artistes, if at all, bothered to contribute to the fund raising for his kidney transplant, or the OJB Foundation, which he established to promote public awareness about kidney diseases and assist persons on dialysis. The creative community should take special notice of this complaint. 

       Artistes are very good at preaching to the community; they can sing about love, unity and solidarity and inspire the public, but among themselves, they often find it difficult to support one another. It is this obsession with the self, and with profit, that has perhaps turned nearly every professional group or association, in the Nigerian creative industry into a battle-field of egos and hate words.  The morality of creative compositions edifies, but artists can also be good citizens while in pursuit of individual happiness. 


       One other fall-out of the OJB story is the spread of kidney disease in Nigeria. Too many people are succumbing to kidney disease, hypertension, and heart attacks. There is greater need for public enlightenment about the risk factors that make this possible. In the absence of efficient medical facilities, prevention through enlightenment and precaution may help to reduce the public health crisis that the country faces. Kidney failure has robbed Nigeria of the great promise of OJB’s talent, in the same manner in which hypertension, heart attack and the sudden death syndrome have cut many lives short. 

       In mourning OJB, we should remember his darling wife, Mabel or Mama J, who in 2013 donated one of her kidneys so her husband may live. OJB was married to three women, through whom he fathered eight children. When he needed a kidney transplant, it was his first wife who volunteered to make the sacrifice.  It was a sacrifice, because in any major surgery, anything could go wrong, and to donate one’s kidney, according to medical doctors, is to take an absolute leap of faith, because indeed anything could go wrong in a matter of years either with the donor or the recipient. OJB survived for three years after the transplant.  Since his passing, I have heard people express the view that if they were in Mabel Okungbowa’s shoes, they would not have taken such a risk to save the life of a man who betrayed her by marrying two additional wives.  


One lady even swore: “may God forbid, any man that leaves me for another woman, should even be prepared to die in the first place, not to talk of me risking my life to save his.” 

      But the story of Mabel Okungbowa is one of courage and love, and as artists and others pay tribute to her husband, the more compelling tribute that I remember is not the tribute to the departed, but the tribute paid to Mabel Okungbowa by OJB, after the kidney transplant three years ago.  

He said: “She is a wonderful person because it is one thing if God is telling you to do something but another to do it. It takes a lot of courage to actually do it.  Even when the doctors came to tell her that they would have to cut her all the way to the back and would have to remove a rib so they could have access to the kidney, she still agreed to go through it. It takes courage to go through with it. So, I will say she is a courageous woman.”


     Such love. Such dignity. And a great lesson about sacrifice. Mama J is the heroine of the OJB Okungbowa story: she gave him three more years to live despite the betrayal she had suffered. There are not too many persons like her out there. Take heart, Madam. Life is like that. May the Lord comfort you and other members of the family. 

BY REUBEN ABATI


43 comments:

  1. Rest in peace mummy BUKKY Ajayi and OJB. Maximum respect to Mabel Okungbowa, that's a level of love this is rare, hmmmm.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mr Abati I know you're a BV
      You write well anyway
      Chop knuckle

      Delete
  2. That of job touch me especially wife,i pray the Lord comfort her.
    As for Bukky many Nigeria girls can never be like her cause they are not her
    Rip in peace to both of them

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is a beautiful and well written article. Cossy Orjiakor, Halima Abubakar and their ilk should have been copied.
    The story of Bukky Ajayi and Mama J goes to inspire and show that real (virtous) women still exist; not SOME of these bile filled, lose and uncultured hoes we have parading the earth.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh Reuben you're the 'bump'!
    Thank you sir for this insightful piece.
    RIP to mama Ajayi and OJB. Kudos to Mabel, may you live long.

    The lesson is not just for the creative industry, it is for everyone to learn from. Thank you again.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Honestly Ojb's wife is a heroine

    ReplyDelete
  6. Beautiful piece!!! Enough food for thought...

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  7. I concur to this!! She is the real hero...

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  8. As for me I will never do what what OJB's wife did, not even if am the only woman the man is married to. Him no get farmily!! My own love no reach that level oooo! The only person I can lay my life down for is my daughter and my mum.

    I have learnt by lessons, no one is worth risking your life for execept your child and your mother. Not even your blood siblings is worth it because you will be suprised if was you they will not.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But when he died you will not remember he has family, will want to keep everything by yourself. Fool

      Delete
    2. When dies you ment? The whole of your generations are fools!!! Okponu ayerada omoale jatijati.

      Delete
    3. Not every opinion should be expressed, most especially when it wasn't asked for. There is forgiveness for every man

      Delete
  9. Replies
    1. @James,Good to know what?

      Delete
  10. His wives loyalty were tested and only mama J came through. God bless her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This made a lot of sense. A lot of people preach love but don't show love.
      Love is an Action word.
      Talk is very cheap.

      I still love Joyce Meyer's book "Reduce me to Love". It opened my eyes to a lot and I recommend it to everyone that likes to read.

      Delete
  11. Mabel, I don't even know what to say to you. You are one in a million. What a sacrifice.

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  12. Am soo touched by this.. This is the first time am reading his article to the the end, it is well with Mrs Mabel

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  13. To think I had avoided reading this write up. I was like"Oga Reuben again with his long write up, I no get patience to read jor"

    Well written, and food for thought.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Nice one, not every woman can do dt after such betrayal, it takes a super woman to do dt and dts eat u r @Mabel. Much respect.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Ojb's wife tried,God will reward her

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  16. This is my first time of reading Oga Reuben's article. So, so interesting. RIP to OJB and mama.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Lol...
    Mama j u try.
    That na for ur pocket.
    R I P bukky.

    ReplyDelete
  18. i love my husband no doubt but i cant do wat mabel did mbok.my husband shd ask any of his side hoes for that favour.kapish

    ReplyDelete
  19. i love my husband no doubt but i cant do wat mabel did mbok.my husband shd ask any of his side hoes for that favour.kapish

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you jor. Give my kidney to which husband esp with two more wives? Only for my own children.

      Reuben has two wives, I wonder which wife will do same for him? And Mr Reuben, how much did you give ojb when he was soliciting for fund? Did you use your influence to speak to gej to help him? Now you are talking.

      My respect goes to late madam Bukky Ajayi. A veteran actress to be well celebrated.

      Delete
  20. I just heard of prince James uche the famous actor ...he is seriously ill n requires some donation for something something ....I really don't know but Stella verify. I think we all need to preach love cos the opposite of love is not hate but indifference(.HC)

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  21. Rip ojb and Bukky Ajayi. May God bless and strengthen you Mabel.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Never knew "Ruffy" from the series HUSH was Mama Bukky's son abi grandson.
    Such a fine actor!

    RIP to the soulful departed.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Dear Reuben Abati, please do a book about your time within the political space in Nigeria. Am eager to read about it.

    ReplyDelete
  24. For her PRICE is FAR above Rubies!!! Soon men will start craving for women with high morals and values. They will.be tired of free pussies(side chicks) why display a mould of clay when you can search for a DIAMOND to display? Diamonds are rare so are women like Mama Bukky Ajayi. And Mabel. Shout out to all the women who are like them and who has not allow the stupidity of men (heart breaks) change their sweetness and kindness. A woman is more than physical beauty it transcends to Soul-beauty.

    ReplyDelete
  25. This is one of the best well written article by Mr. Reuben Abati, after a very long while.
    Such is life! There are people who sings other praises after their departure. The issue in Nollywood is an eyesore. Majority of those so called actors don't even have real talents, some are just there to make money, because is the easiest way to have connection to politician who uses them as object.
    Please, Mr.Abati, try and investigate, then write about the so many beauty pageants taking place every now and then in Nigeria.
    May the souls of the departed find eternal rest.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Which money them get?.
      My dear, an ordinary banker earns more money.
      All of them, na show.

      Delete
  26. Wow i m in deep thought
    Nothing more to say

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  27. I've always wondered the kind of love his first wife had for him. She's really a special kind. God bless her.

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  28. long life uncle reuben.Reuben so unstable as wate.
    wish u wrote lik dis after much fact gathering for jonathan goodluck to boost the nigerian economy.

    ReplyDelete
  29. He has said it all. As to The actresses, the old ones are busy fighting battles, they cant provide direction to the young ones, it is a case of who can outdo each other in scandals and on social media. Mama J, your reward is on heaven and on earth.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Awesome read. As usual, Mr Abati brings it home, and sends us on a journey of thoughts. Mind you, this. isn't just for nollywood, it concerns us all. RIP Mama BuKky and OJB.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Kudos to the wife.I m afraid I can't do that for my hubby.I will ask one of his girlfriends to do that or his mum.

    ReplyDelete
  32. I have been skipping this...
    omgoodness Mr Reuben I raise hand for you.
    THis piece is for all of us not only for the artists.
    Love indeed requires action. God will answer you anytime you call on Him Mama J.

    ReplyDelete

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