Hahahahahahaha...This really cracked me up!
Hello Stella,
The wedding night chronicle cracked me up I thought I should share mine.
Hubby and I wanted a very quiet ceremony but family pressure and all made it impossible so we ended up with a big party and spending money we didn't have o.
We dated for a year plus so we had gbenshed a few times in between.
We got home that night and hubby had his bath and was waiting for me to join him in the room o but after a while he came to the sitting room to see me arranging and counting our money....
he brought a bottle of wine and poured for both of us then he joined me to count.
we had a good laugh cos the money sef no get head na there we pass sleep o.
*hehehehehehehehehhehe
Lmao...una eyes dey chook
ReplyDeleteLol
DeleteOwuite tinz
Someone should pls drop to link to others, wanna laugh a lil.
DeleteMost ppl trully don't collect on that wedding night, the 3 narratives that has been posted so far, none had sex that night.
Delete😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂. Yes o. Nigerian wedding can be tiring na. U just fall asleep sooner than u think.
DeleteWonders shall never end ooooh my people. See even PORTABLE MUMU that begged for N6000 transport money to go see his father for village. is calling another person Owuite. Hiaaah
Delete*her father
DeleteAnon 14. 01 was it N6, 000? Thought it was N8, 000. Anyways that's humans for you.
Delete@Sexy Asa, it is N6000. We thought we has forgotten about it.
DeleteLol
ReplyDeleteCounting money
I don't blame you both...Una don " see Una self finish""...una don gbensh before marriage...nothing new again
@Galore
Stooopeeeeet! She's been real here.
DeleteDo t criticise if u ain't a saint!!!!
This is so funny
ReplyDeleteHahaha....-
ReplyDeleteLol. The money counting wedding nite
ReplyDeleteThis is so short and dry...
ReplyDeleteThe 1st one was the nicest and funniest
Send yours naw
DeleteReally funny. I am sure you were counting 50, 100 and 20 naira. Before you go see 200 naira d thing hard.
ReplyDeleteThose with 20 naira na Dem sabi quarrel for food and gifts.
😂😂😂
DeleteLolzzzz
DeleteI want to drop mine. Please where do I send it to?
DeleteNa waah ooooo madam. It be like say na the of that day una carry get hope to start life.
ReplyDelete*the money
DeleteKai! Jamesi, you no just try. Han han!
DeleteAt my husby... Lol. You meant to be a comedian...
DeleteUse the word "Collect"... its better than this "Gbensh"
ReplyDeleteHahahahhaha
DeleteI say that a lot and people laugh at me ooh.
I think it is a bit less eewwrryy and more errmmmm humorous.
I know you must be disappointed at the amount of money you counted.
ReplyDeleteSome people will put N10 and N20 inside envelope and collect souvenir on top.
Kikikikikiki. Nigerians no get joy at all
DeleteYesterday was crying couple, today money counting couple. Una try well well
ReplyDeleteHahahahahahah poster are you an Igbo girl? OK you don't need to answer that.
ReplyDeleteExactly wat I did. I sat on d hotel room floor nd counted my money biko while my husband went out with my bro in law. (Yes I like money like that). By d time he came bck with a bottle of champagne,I was ready for collecting. Hehehehe. Cos d amount of d money sweet my body small.
ReplyDeleteHehehehe. Seems like u had enuf money that day
DeleteHehehehehehehehe
DeleteUna no dey call person to help count the money??? Ah ah...arranging and counting is a whole lot of work.
Pipi Lee, call person kwa? Ha! U want the whole world to know how much they made plus jealousy? Mbakwa o
DeleteLol, it has to be someone really close like your sister, aunty...
DeleteI helped my big sis count on her day. Me and my three other sisters were bridesmaids and we picked all her money that day. She now asked us to count and give her figures. We sided like 50k sha 😉 This was in 2006 oh! Then we gave her the rest. I think she knew but she couldn't be bothered. She was a rich single girl anyway. And the money still covered a lot.
DeleteSo if we her trusted and tested sisters could side, how much more strangers? 😂😂 Biko count alon. Except you want to turn a blind eye.
I helped my big sis count on her day. Me and my three other sisters were bridesmaids and we picked all her money that day. She now asked us to count and give her figures. We sided like 50k sha 😉 This was in 2006 oh! Then we gave her the rest. I think she knew but she couldn't be bothered. She was a rich single girl anyway. And the money still covered a lot.
DeleteSo if we her trusted and tested sisters could side, how much more strangers? 😂😂 Biko count alon. Except you want to turn a blind eye.
Lol @Chikito.
DeleteNa me, make up artist(she's family), cousin that counted my sister's money. We counted in the living room of the apartment we rented. When i went to the room to give her the money i met she and hubby doing plenty calculations. They had to settle everyone cos we were leaving town the next day.
DeleteI single handedly handled the picking of her cash.
My sister was not really bothered about the money that was sprayed sef. She got correct cash from people in envelopes.
She didn't even collect the money from me, she just asked how much and gave me a list of who and who to pay and keep the balance. Till today she no ask me.
From day one she said she won't even touch the money so i no suprise. 😛😛😛
LaFreshy...wow! Better cash for envelope is very rare these days o.
DeleteHahaha I'm sure you guys must be igbo and into business
ReplyDeleteid send mine also, it was filled with regret and confusion.
ReplyDeletelike he jazzed me to marry him, cus immediately after the wedding, my eyes opened, all i could think of was my Ex, i couldnt even remember why or when we broke up... lemme stop here till i send in mine. this life is deep oh.
U married for money so stfu. Married hoe using jazz as an excuse. Arindin
DeleteSorry about that, just forgive him and free yourself. Irony of life.
DeletePls whats the meaning of arindin?
DeleteFor real???
DeletePls send it!!!
Anon 12 :17 ur eyes opened immediately after the wedding and U suspect he used jazz on u. Why didn't you file for divorce the following day? Abi he carry chain and lock hold you for his house?
DeleteMaybe u dint full get over your EX...or your husband was just for re-bound and u ended up marring him.
DeleteHope you are OK?
@ anon 12:47, is it too difficult to comment without cursing on someone. How do you guys live abeg jezz
Kamara you're wickid! 😂
DeleteKamara, it means imbecile
DeleteBut ur horseband must be a very weak man. So after he bathing and expecting to gbensh, he let go just like that. I would hv ordered u to go and bathe. And if you are too tired for that. I will just pin u to the ground and take you from behind.
ReplyDeleteYes like you pinned me
DeleteAttention seeker..Hw far u
DeleteNa only mouth u get,living ur fantasy on a blog. If I hear FIM from u again becos it takes a Weak man to call another man a weak man. (pot calling kettle black)
DeleteThis Mrs James is even more stupid
DeleteHa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. .................
DeleteAt anon 13:07...
DeletePlease stop harassing me and my husband...
Which one you get...???
Lmao@ Mrs. James! Pls try and always follow his senseless post maybe at least we can get little comic from it. Characters on SDK
Delete@asoge.. Lmao
DeleteLolz money issue
ReplyDeleteLol...
ReplyDeleteid send mine also, it was filled with regret and confusion.
ReplyDeletelike he jazzed me to marry him, cus immediately after the wedding, my eyes opened, all i could think of was my Ex, i couldnt even remember why or when we broke up... lemme stop here till i send in mine. this life is deep oh.
We are waiting
DeletePlease hurry send yours.
DeleteLol..counting money loba de fa..
ReplyDeleteHahahahahahahahaha @ money no get head.
ReplyDeleteI had a good laugh, a nice way to spend the night if you ask me.
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha...
ReplyDeleteDo you expect to make profit after your wedding?...
Common,you called people to come and celebrate with you not to count profit...
My dear people do wedding to make profit. My friend that wedded last saturday, was even stealing from the money dey sprayed her. I picked her money, she will just tell me to codedly removed some. Like she removed almost 200k from the money I sent her cousin to pay into her personal account 1st thing on Monday morning, before she and her husband start to count the remaining one. I was shocked. And she did not spend 1 kobo for the wedding, her husband did all the spending.
DeleteHmmm anony 13:43 na thief dat man marry o
DeleteThat your friend na very bad person. It's her type that will allow her kids to starve if her husband doesn't drop feeding morning.
DeleteAnon 13:43, that means they must av been sprayed almost a million naira for her to remove like 200k and still av more to count.
DeleteLol. I believe u sha. E money came abi?
@Jasmine, believe it or not, they sprayed at the wedding. The guy's dad works is a big chap in a popular oil company, and his friends came. Don't want to give details. Wedding that they the father inlaw and his friends sprayed 1000 Naira. You think everybody is poor and mix with poor people like you? Msheeew
Delete@Jasmine, believe it or not, they sprayed at the wedding. The guy's dad is a big chap in a popular oil company, and his friends came. Don't want to give details. Wedding that they the father inlaw and his friends sprayed 1000 Naira. You think everybody is poor and mix with poor people like you? Msheeew
DeleteHow does one steal their own money? Ewww
DeleteLmao @ jasmine, indeed Emoney was there ooo
DeleteKaiiiiii. Pls who get E-money functional number cos the one dem give me no dey go thru.
DeleteAnon 15:40, everybody cannot be poor like me nau. I only made a simple statement without insulting you and you just flared up. Bitch, you r lying. But it's cool.
DeleteBroke ass like u going about looking at the money couples r being sprayed.
Ain't nothing funny bou this!*in Madea's voice*. This doesn't qualify as a gist in here. We need drama filled wedding night gist,not some dry money-counting-sleeping off story.
ReplyDeleteGo and get married so u can tell us yours, stop hating.
Delete@controversial orangechic, send your drama filled own naw. Abi u never see horseband marry?
DeleteHahahahahaha
ReplyDeleteHaha...money conscious couple!
ReplyDeleteLol. That money is very important oh, that's what couples fall back on sometimes.
ReplyDeleteLol...
ReplyDeleteLolzz
ReplyDeleteLmao...you guys are very funny
ReplyDeleteBusy counting money on your wed night instead of making it a sex/ love making night to remember.
You sef,weren't you tired from the dance, stress and all?
What sex again?
DeleteYou no hear say Dem don gbesnh all the gbeshable since dating period
@Galore
Why don't u change ur name to Pearl or Ruby or Sapphire or Onyx. There are lost of stones that will give u distinctive identity on this blog. I love ur "Rare Diamond" though.
DeleteBut anyday, anytime "White Diamond " rocks forever!!!
U will fear money counting
ReplyDeletePoster ur wedding brouhaha remind me of mine. Me I counted our money o. It was after the counting that we gbenshed. Abeg I no fit shout. When debt full ground.
ReplyDeleteWhy marry a poor man. Marriage on Credit and Loans?
DeleteIdeato, it's not about marrying a poor man o.
DeleteIts not good to give your vendors 100% payment before the d day.
If you don't use the money to settle debt what else will it be used for?
Lmao!!! Really????? Broke asses!!!!
ReplyDeleteShut it...lol
DeleteWho is dis one?
DeleteShut it. Its not about being broke. If you don't have trusted people to help you, you will count yourself
DeleteMoney counting wedding night.
ReplyDeletefunniest so far
ReplyDeleteItz not all couplez dah collect or gbensh during their wedding night ooo...some jst stay awake calculating hw much was spent and hw much was recovered during spraying,also how the two cows finished with just 150 guestz...
ReplyDeleteShort, funny and nice.
ReplyDeleteWhat's the point of the wedding night if you've been having sex like rabid dogs almost every day before?
ReplyDeleteI'm not judging though, just don't see what's special about a night when afternoon, day and morning it's been probed from all available holes before except of course it's your very first time meeting each other.
It doesn't matter, it's still special regardless. Cos not everyone can remain a virgin before their wedding night right from 1900. Lolz
Delete#Don't stress over something that you can't change*
ReplyDeleteNice one!
DeleteMe I counted the money the next morning. Na the money we use for honeymoon.
ReplyDeleteMy wedding night is not something I will ever forget. DH and I had a quiet ceremony on the beach with just a few friends and family. The reception was in a beachside hotel and we had firework display that night. We have been married for 4 years with twin boys.
ReplyDeleteHmmm where do I start, okay while dating I told DH of my sexual fantasy which involved my DH and another female, one sucking m p__sy while he pounded me. DH thought I was crazy, I remember we laughed than night and collected from each other.
Fast-forward to wedding night, we were too tired and fell asleep but the next night was mind blowing. We went for dinner and to a bar afterward where I have some good weed with rum. Unknowingly DH had arranged one sweet fuck session for us, a young lady approached me and starting flirting. I encouraged the flirting aware DH was beside me and we somehow all ended up in our hotel room.
OMO I was so shy, but DH made me feel so comfortable. Immediately this white lady started kissing me, my neck, my breast, my nipples…. Mehn I was so turned on. DH sat beside me while this was going on, I looked over at him, the look in his eyes like he needed me there and then and we began to kiss while white lady was nibbling on my nipples.
I un-zipped DH trousers and brought out the P, it was HARD and BIGGER than normal, I began sucking it hungrily, at that moment white lady joined me as we both sucked on it. Eventually, DH lifted me up and pushed himself deep inside me, woo I moaned out loud with pleasure. As he was pounding me, this lady was sucking my clitoris and you guys can imagine the rest.
I squirted 3 times that night. I was so shy the next morning and couldn’t believe what happened. DH and I agreed that what happened abroad will stay abroad. I sometimes fantasize about that night and I know it will happen again someday.
Loool baby geh send dis tin in nah. Y u leave am here? Anyway...
DeleteWow , that was an energetic performance #intubaba'svoice#
DeleteYou are wasting your talent my Dear.
DeleteNa wa for this abroad couple. I don't like the foundation of your marriage.
DeleteWow @ anon 14:13, this is so interesting l 'll love to try it
DeleteYou and your DH ought to go and act porn movies mtchew
DeleteAnd you want me to believe that you are not a bisexual
DeleteWhat did I just read?
DeleteChronicles will follow after...
Delete😂😂😂
DeleteChai! BVs have started writing movies
Wow! End!!!
DeleteI agree, please send it in I want the details of what happened that night.
DeleteCrazy set of people, you deserve each oda.
DeleteCrazy set of people, you deserve each oda.
DeleteSend it in!!!!!
DeleteHmn! My fantasy too
DeleteHmn! My fantasy too
DeleteYou guys need Jesus ASAP. We all have fantasies but as a Christian you must not glorify or satisfy the flesh. This act is totally wrong. Please repent of such thoughts and act and do not engage in such again. God is your helper.
DeleteI have this crazy fantasy of getting down with a girl too (alone tho) but mine must be soon,cos wedding is before d year runs out.
DeleteDa legal drug baron....me too ooh
DeleteHahahahahahaha....Funny wedding chronicles.
ReplyDeleteLiar
ReplyDeleteSeriously funny. I laugh til I saw tears in my eye .
ReplyDeleteLol d money counting couple, I never even know how my weeding night go be. But i know i can't marry an unromantic guy.
ReplyDeleteStory for the gods
ReplyDeletePlease give your life to christ. We will all be accountable for everything we do. Heaven and hell are both very real.
ReplyDeleteHa! Money na the way forward oh!Hubby and I were just counting money oh! In fact I couldn't believe I counted 500 Naira notes in 100 thousand. I got enough money from dancing oh! because me self na bad ass dancer. My oga for work no believe him eyes as he saw me dancing lol.
ReplyDeleteI even dey mark the babe wey pick my money for me make she no commot anything inside. Wedding now na business abeg. Eat my food, I take your money. @ James I agree with you oh! Na the envelope money be useless money. How do people do that? I told my hubby I will open any envelope people give he started laughing and asked me not to do it. People will put 5 Naira just to get souvenir haba!! lwkmd. Mostly this village people.
Remonds me of my cousin's wedding. People even pit 10naira for envelope sef just to collect sourvenir 😂😂😂😂
DeleteMy sister own we no see such rubbish sha cos sourvenir was for everyone. We didn't even collect gift sef.
This is a funny one!
ReplyDeleteThat is what always happened when you celebrate wedding ceremony with the money you don't have. Never you borrow money for a wedding! Your mind will not be at peace when you borrowed money for your wedding ceremony, the time you are supposed to be rejoicing and dancing; you will be calculating how much was sprayed or how many envelopes was dropped.
Counting money on your wedding night, what happened after you both woke up?
Spend a little from what you have and invest the rest.
Iys not about borrowing madam. Most people don't like keeping the money so they use it to settle debt. Its . ot like they dont have their own money to settle their debt
DeletePlease say the truth. You will not die. Anybody who will use wedding night to count money, wedding night that I'd the first night of your lives forever, to count money must be a broke ass who financed the wedding on credit, or with 'Abeg make I borrow'.
DeleteCut your jumper according to your size, una no go hear, no una go still come here beg for curtains for your window, beg for money for hospital bill after una Don fuck finish, procreate.
Kwentinue, debt warlords
Hahahah😈 Stella please don't ever stop this.
ReplyDelete