The Wedding Night Brouhaha 11

OH MY GOODNESS...This is IT!!!

Stella, this is a great platform for me to speak out on my experience(s) on my so called wedding night before it boils inside till it gives me one sickness that has no name yet, cus its not something i can open my mouth and tell anyone. 

My wife of 8 months introduced me to this blog even before we got married, i even bookmarked the page on my phone so i dont type ur full name, one click gets me there, please y'all should be patient and read oh, hear me out, cuss me, mensturate under this post, or Jesus fix it, na you sabi, but i am shouting it out now cus i have bottled things up for 8months. 

Stella the attached picture is me and my wife on our wedding day, Dec 2015 (For ur eyes only), and other pics are b4 our wedding, when i thought i have found Gold/Silver, not knowing say na Aboki gold i find, and i dont think she'd read this cus her fone screen is bad for now, she can only hear with it, but if she sees it no wahala, its the truth, and it must set me free.

We met in NYSC camp, and started dating 2months later, she made it clear from the beginning that she wasnt a virgin, she gave it to her ex just twice, in other words 1 bodycount, even that ex collected only twice, i nod my head na, e no de ever pass 2 with women, she said she regreted it and vowed that her next relationship will be free of collection till that wedding night, that if i dont agree with that i should as well bounce, i say no wahala.... i only asked if she gets wet down there, she said yes, i asked if she enjoys sex, she said yes, i asked if she moans during sex, she said yes but not too loud, i asked if she has offensive odour there, she said "what kind of stupid question is that" i said being that i cant see/taste the commodity i am buying na, i should at least ask if it has expired... she para for me oh, i sha calm her down, then she said shes a very neat lady, no smell at all, so as she vex na, i stop the question n answer session there, i was satisfied with the answers.

while dating i begged her to give me handjob b4 conji shrink me, so she obliged a few times with the help of baby lotion while she kisses me and gives me breast to suck, but that pant no ever commot from her waist, no matter how heated the foreplay gets, and she didnt lie about the smell, there was no smell cus i nibble down to her pubic region b4 she brings my head up, and she gets wet also, cus i see the wet stain when shes not wearing net undies. so i always tell her that this ur vow is funny oh, cus all what we have done is also a sin in the eyes of God, so that vow doesnt count, she said penetration is the koko, that i should wait, "shebi we're marrying soon, you'd enjoy this bomb pussy tire" no wahala na, make i de manage the wanking and boobs you de offer.

Skipped to wedding day na, after the event, we retreated to the hotel room, i finally switch on my phone and calls n msgs were coming in, then my ex called to say congrats and all, na their we get our 1st quarrel as newly wed, she says i should warn her to stop calling, that i am a married man now bla bla bla, and she wont take that nonsense anymore, i just calm her down, then i assured her my ex will stop, for my mind i say, nothing must spoil this night oh, if u like smash the phone sef, i go tell you sorry. 

wedding night don reach oh, so i made a few jokes and chats, then the atmosphere was back to the romantic mood, both phones switched off, so i made my moves, no time to shower sef... the kisses and necking started and she was responding wella also, i undressed her sharparly, even unhooked her bra with one hand, she help me off my boxers, already i don salute attention!!! she then insisted we switch off the light that shes kinda shy, being it our 1st time to collect, i say no wahala na, person no de use spoon find mouth for darkness.

 Final final na, the almighty pant is on the floor (Red colour), we don position missionary journey to collect without umbrella or raincoat, while the kisses where going on, i was inb/w her spread legs, being that we're in the dark, i couldnt see the road down there, so i had to direct traffic with my hand 1st, then when there is movement, i remove my hand... na so i reach entrance oh, commot hand, as i drive through na, there was virtually no struggle at all, no bump on the road, no hold up.... Oboy, i was swallowed, i sink in short, i say ah ah, maybe i am in the wrong hole, i come out, redirect traffic again with my hand, she asked "baby, what is it?"....

I say wait first, this time i told her to help me fix it, so she did.... oboy, the same thing oh, for my mind i said God, could this be one chance? 

meanwhile shes forming moaning there, even when i am not thrusting back n forth, shes moaning, which kind lie be that? it all now made sense to me, why she strictly chose celibacy even after heavy foreplay.... i truly wasnt enjoying it, so i paused and said "it seems kinda free down there" thats the best way i could say it without hurting her feeling, her response was "what do you mean? 

So i said "seems the keyhole is a bit bigger than the key, but its ok, maybe cus its the 1st time".... na their she push me from on top, saying "what kind of insult is that, on our special night for that matter".. i say "baby, calm down lets figure things out" so i switch the light on, at least my eyes cant deceive me na, i said "im sorry darling, lets get back to it, lemme give you head".... she said Never!! we're done for the night, you've insulted me enough, its even your dick that is too small, but i never told you, i accepted it cus i love you.... bla bla bla.

 hmm... so we both slept with anger that night, no ejaculation. From that night, i started feeling i have been fooled, i felt i have entered one chance, she kept trying to be nice with chores and food, while we havent talked about the main source of our unhappiness.

On the 4th day, i decided to prove my self wrong and give it another shot, this time was at home in the afternoon, i am not doing the more you look the less you see again, bright day light shinning, she was already dropping hints by saying, "if you are not enjoying it so much, dont be bothered, cus there are special creams that can make us compatible down there".... 

I say choi, i don die. i pretended to be comfortable and willing to amend anything, so she allowed me give her head, as i reach down na, damn, theres a visible opening, i swear, and the lips (labia minora) they are so black.... i never imagined such on a beautiful faced woman, i couldnt even last 30sec down there, i stopped, so no sex that day again, but we just sat talking maturely this time. 

she finally admitted that she "suspected" it was wide, due to dildo usage and didnt want to lose me, forming tears as she talked... so i sha told her we'd try n look for a way to deal with it, i don enter be say, i don enter.... who send me to agree to no collection b4 marriage?  

It hasnt been a sexually happy marriage i must confess, the sex is having a domino effect on other aspects, i even prefer her handjobs and blowjobs to collection, cus most times collection lasts for more than 45mins, 45mins of doing rubbish, then she starts giving me handjobs and i commence in 5mins, theres been so many recommended remedies, none seems to be working, she keeps being nice and worshippind the ground i walk on, na that one de weaken me pass.... 

Abeg BVs this is not a joke oh, help me if theres a secret we dont know about, she does kegel, uses a cream from brazil, sits on warm water etc. Thats my wedding night collection gist.

LMAOOOOO..Please forgive me if i laugh....Man you are so FINE and your wife is HOT...Wow,make una settle this thing ooo.No one will even suspect with the kinda photos you sent....

Sad but hilarious..I don laugh tire!

you are a clown i swear!

Cant she go and have it sewed up?