Testimony Time!!!

Testimony comes in various forms....Thanking God is what matters!

Good day Stella.. I trust you are doing well.

 well, I don't knw where this falls into but I would like to call it a testimony,

 ( please bear with me, the story is very long). my story goes like this.

Way back when I was in the university I used to be the most cheerful girl I know.. I would just be happy for no just cause..i was that kind of girl that would laugh at something very serious and would finally solve what the problem was without stress, till on the 7th of june 2010 when I was coming back from night class and I was RAPED by two guys at gun point..

 I did not shed a tear because I was too broken to even think about it . 

I was more concerned about not having an infection more particularly HIV. I went to the teaching hospital in the state I was schooling for treatment.

 I was placed on antiretroviral therapy (ART) FOR 30DAYS just incase the guys were positive. the doctor asked me when I saw my period and I thought she was asking me the date it finished and I gave her the last date of the period.. based on her calculation, I was supposed to be in my safe period well.. 

she was wrong because of the wrong date I gave her (clearly my fault). I started taking the antiretroviral drugs immediately to avoid stories that touch.. the side effect of the drugs was over the moon. I had rashes, nausea, feeling weak just name it. I took the drugs for 23days and I couldn't take it anymore becos I was becoming sick. my tommy was always paining me, I was running temperature and was feeling very weak. I was scared that I got the disease already. (mind you, the only people that knew I was raped was myself, the rapists and the doctor. I never told a soul about it till last week).

I went back to the hospital to complain about my health and behold I was pregnant.. I had conceived that night. I was broken, in shock, lonely nobody to tell because I was afraid of being laughed at. funny enough I  couldn't cry I just bottled everything up, I had an abortion and felt every thing was going to be fine but it was all gone for me. I slowly became a very sad person and I was scared of life.. 

my friends who knew me before the incident kept asking me what the problem was but I said nothing. Over time, I started becoming playful again, I would crack jokes, make noise, laugh when ever am with friends but deep inside I was unhappy, I developed mood swing after wards. I was the opposite of myself. I had DIED..

 I dated 2guys afterwards but I was just absent minded in the relationships. I loved them but I knew it was going to end one day. I always had negative mindset about everything in life and it affected my relationships.. I was always very careful not to get hurt and yes I was not hurt. I decided to give myself time before I would be in another relationship then i met this guy, ken by name, he was everything I wished for in a man. he was the love of my life... 

for once, I allowed myself to fall in love.. we dated for 6months and he was already talking marriage, Stella I was happy again. I knew he said he was going to travel to the states for a 3months course and come back after. he asked me to wait for him, he even took me to see his family and talked to my own family on phone, we were serious. 

fastward to when he travelled 2months ago, the communication was bad but when ever we spoke he would assure me all was fine that he just needed time to settle down. 3weeks ago, he wouldn't reply my messages or call me then I was worried. I didn't know if I should move on or wait for him.. I did not know if he was alive sef, I was confused. I went into praying and fasting and I came across a saying "God answers prayers but most times not the way we want it to be". 

Saturday last week, I was making lunch and I said a short prayer.. " God please give me a sign". 

Stella you wont believe I came across a name of facebook that night and I decided to just check it out.. lo and behold it was my boyfriend's wife page... my MR RIGHT was married or rather just got married few weeks back.

 hmmm.. 

I thought my life was over.. I cried bitterly that night.. I accused myself that the abortion I did years ago was the reason why this bad luck befell me. I was heart broken. I called my mom the next day and I told her everything. for the first time I talked about my rape and for the first time I cried because I was raped.. 

I asked God for forgiveness, strength and wisdom. 

well to God be the glory, I am stronger and happy. I feel this inner joy that I cant explain.. I took myself out, bought nice things for myself and had a make over. this is a testimony because God answered my prayer maybe not in the way I wanted it but He sure did. What if I had waited for ken? wasting my time? 

I found out early and I saved myself a major trouble. what if he married me and left me in Nigeria to be his Nigeria wife? lol. i just want to thank God. my life has got a meaning.. i would not allow that rape incidence define me or my happiness.. i am in a better place. i am NOT HIV positive, i am not heart broken and i no longer suffer from mood swings.....