Omugwo Chronicles -29

This Omugwo story broke my heart..Everything just went wrong and right!!!

Our Omugwo folder can't be empty ! Nah! So I decided to share my own story, which might be a sentence too long, so I apologize in advance. My  Omugwo  story was not the happiest, but still ...

At first I was hesitant about my mum coming for my Omugwo , simply because she wasn't one of my husband's best fans. We married against all odds. So the thought of her coming with all the tension in the air, wasn't so appealing to me. Plus I felt I could do it on my own with all the years of experience I had gathered from my elder sister's births . 

But thank God my husband insisted that she comes, assuring me that I'll be pleasantly surprised at how well everything would go. 

My pregnancy was a very smooth one. All the scans and checkups went well. No problem . We made plans for my mom to come some days after my EDD (Mother in-law is not so strong) 

Towards the end of my pregnancy, things took an unbelievable turn. During my 36th week scan, my Gynaecologist said my baby was too small for that stage of the pregnancy. I was asked to go to the hospital I was to deliver at, for proper check. I went there and was checked , then asked to go and come back the next week for them to see if her size increases. 

I talked to my mom about it, and she told me not to worry, that she gave birth to small babies. So I was somehow calm until the next week when I went for the scan, and was told there was no change , and they didn't know why she wasn't getting bigger . They said it was risky for her to remain inside and the best option was for me to have an induced labor . I asked when I should come for it, and they told me that actually, I should just go home and get my things as they plan inducing me that day!

 I was terrified.

 At that point I hadn't even bought all my baby's stuffs , like diapers and cream and all, because I felt I still had time. Now this! Worse still, it was even almost 3 weeks before my mom's expected arrival! 

Got some few things from home that day, then went back to the hospital . I was induced and my baby came 3 days after the induction. She was whisked to the NICU immediately because they realized she wasn't breathing well. Two days later I was discharged, without my baby. I cried all the way home , and almost the whole day. 

The next day when we came to be with her, the doctors told us she was doing better and didn't need the oxygen aid she was using. I went home so happy, but worried about how to take care of my fragile baby when she was eventually discharged. But that ought to have been the least of my worries, as that night, we got a call from the hospital saying they had  transferred her to another hospital because she was in a critical condition. That was the beginning of my journey. 

In this new hospital, they found out she had some heart defects. I was devastated. Never in the course of my pregnancy did I imagine I would have a baby with any health issue. I'm a Christian, I went for masses always during my pregnancy. In fact I was so sure I would have a healthy baby that I was praying for the pettiest, silliest things like , her being very beautiful with full hair , and for her to be extremely intelligent . Plus the all my scans said everything was perfect so what is this now??? 

I had to come to the hospital daily with the unbearable pain from the tear during delivery ( most moms would understand how painful walking is with a tear)  I longed for my mom to come. And at least make this pain go away with her magical 'mummy touch' . 

My baby had her first surgery one week before my mom's arrival. I was so happy when she came. And she came prepared. With lots of Naija goodies. So she started cooking the Omugwo food, but I could hardly eat because my whole heart was lying in a hospital bed , but trust my mum to force me to eat, reminding me I needed to express enough breastmilk to take to the hospital for my baby. After the first surgery things seemed fine, we felt we could go home soon. But no, it was like a roller coaster . One day my baby was fine and we were all happy and looking forward to going home, the next day she is really bad.

My mom was really quick to learn. In just a few days, she could find her way to the hospital . So I would go to the hospital in the morning, then she would come to join me later and then we both come home in the evening. This was really making me sad, because this wasn't how it should be. We should be going out doing fun things and not sitting inside the hospital the whole day. At a point I felt so overwhelmed, and just wanted my mum to go back . Because when she hadn't come, I didn't have any other thing to think of, I just went to the hospital and nothing else mattered. But with my mum around, I had her to think of too. I think of my sick baby and think of how my mom would be feeling seeing my baby in that condition with all the wires , oxygen machines and medications.  

Also she was so concerned about me that I sometimes got the feeling she was angry at my baby for putting me ( her daughter) through all this sadness. She made some remarks that I felt really bad about. 

We had to change her ticket to a later date with the hope that baby would come home so she could  at least do her proper Omugwo duties for even one week. But no. At the end of two months, she went back to Nigeria.

I enjoyed her coming, but I just wished things were different. In that circumstance her coming was taking too much from me emotionally. But still her company was worth it .  She made me most of my favorite dishes I had been missing. 

She was so happy at how well my husband and I lived in peace and love, that she even later apologized for all the stress she put us through when we were getting married. She told me that men like my husband are rare and I should always appreciate him. I got really close to my mum during her stay. We would talk and gist like old friends, and go for shopping whenever we could.  I saw a part of her that I hadn't known till then. At the end of her stay she was looking so young! When she got to Nigeria, my sisters were asking what I bribed my mom with because she had only good things to say about my husband. Lol

A few months later , my sister in-law came also. But baby was still in the hospital. So it was the same routine. Spending the day at the hospital. But we got  really close too. She is much older than me, but I enjoyed her company so much . She treated me like her younger sister . She was so supportive and gave me great advices . We both had a great time during her stay. 

So my Omugwo experience was a nice one, even though my baby, who is an angel now didn't come home ( and never came home. She passed 10 months after ) I learnt a lot of lessons and I got really closer to my mum. She got to know my husband better and they are like best of friends now. Whenever  I call her, and make the mistake of passing the phone to my husband to say hi, they end up talking for so long! Lol.

I'm looking forward to the next Omugwo, and I pray when that time comes things would be different. 

My advice to moms is that no matter how bad whoever is taking care of you during Omugwo may seem, just endure and always remember, it's not the worse that can happen. You have a healthy baby to thank God for and that is all that should matter.

*So sorry this happened,you sound so positive and i am happy about this..she was so beautiful...so sorry.

You lost her but gained something.....