Omugwo Chronicles -23

A sad one....

My story goes thus:

My first omugwo was bliss. My mom was there from the hospital, she gave me all the support i needed, emotionally and otherwise. I had a CS birth so the first few days was difficult doing stuff for myself. She did it all: spent straight 4 days with me at the hospital, nursed the baby at night and all. Got back home on the 4th day and I broke down (guess a bit of baby blues). I couldn't believe how much my body had changed and my home too. 

Back to the matter, mum spent a whole month with us and it was heaven on earth for me. She'd sleep with the baby at night until he needed food. Cooked all through the period of her stay and served me and hubby. She was soo helpful that hubby was so impressed. MIL came after she had left and did her own bit. She never got around to doing all the things my mum did but then I was stronger, so it didn't matter. 

We had a happy stay save for her persistent complaint of me doing exclusive breastfeeding (my mum didn't like it too but respected my decision). She never hesitated to tell anybody that came of how it was such a bad idea. I didn't like it at first, but later on, turned a deaf ear to it to avoid troubles. I guess she too realised I wasn't gonna budge and gave up too. Asides that, we were and are still very cool.

Fast forward to my second child birth, mum was meant to come but unfortunately, she fell ill few days before I put to bed. It was a CS birth too; I had a lil help from my son's nanny who eventually left 3 days after my son's birth. I came home to an empty house with my kids and hubby. It was quite emotional for me as i so missed my mum's love and care. 

Hubby was and is ever so supportive so he did all he could to fill the void. MIL had to come over 2 days after our return to help out, as my mum wasn't able to. Till date I'm still grateful for that.There was just this  reservation of some sort from her end in doing things; maybe it was her trying not to over step her boundary or something. She did the cooking, bath the baby, etc. I couldn't rest as much as I did the first time though, as I had to assist her in setting up bath stuff and clearing out after same, doing laundry, (all thanks to IKEDC), make food for the baby (no exclusive breastfeeding as i was emotionally drained due to mum's health condition) while hubby took care of the house chores. 

I also had to nurse my baby all through the night too. 

In the midst of all this, I kept praying for my mum to get well but that never happened.  I lost her few days after.

Hmmm, i must say that was one of the toughest time of life. I was devastated, down and out. Thank God for MIL's presence at the time. She upped her game to try fill the void and ease my pain (i recall her say to me one of the days she brought the hot water bag for my back "ka m nebezia gi omugwo a (let me do this omugwo for you). This is me translating it literally. Life though was never the same, cos my mums death shook me to the core. But i'm glad I was able to look beyond my pain and see the beauty that radiated through my child(ren).  

Writing this kind of brings back the memories of how it felt at that time and the tears sure are flowing, but i'm stronger, bigger and better now. Thanks mum for the love you gave and would have given if you were there with me at the time I needed you most. Thanks MIL for standing in for her then too. I appreciate you both. Thanks to my hubby for being ever supportive always. 

To my kids, thank you two for giving me a reason to smile even at my darkest moments. 

Lastly, thanks Stels for giving me this platform to vent it all out and to my fellow BVS, for taking time to read and share in my joy and pain. Cheers everyone!

Sad Omugwo story but come to think of it..How do you think those of us who lost our mums before Babies came feel?your mum saw your child and carried him.mine never did and i keep wondering what she would have said if she had seen them.....how she would have stayed awake for me whilst i sleep....abeg you are lucky jor.