Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narratives..

hmmm...

NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE

PRIMARY VIRGIN ISH

Hi Madam Stella,

I recently found myself at crossroads. I'm a 21 year old girl, soon-to-be graduate. I come from a decent background and I've been in few relationships.

I've always thought to myself that I'd like to settle down early in life with a good man and start my own home. I made up my mind to date people who I can really consider spending the rest of my life with after my last relationship ended.

 You see, I'm a virgin and things got sour with my ex because of this reason. I had to end the relationship because I was not willing to compromise and I don't see why a guy I love can't love my personality and not my body. I told him right from the start before we started dating and he reassured me that he loved me and he will cope but he still ended up being an a**hole (forgive my language).

Well this is not about him.....Fast forward to present day....

There's this guy I've known like forever since I was a child. When we were teenagers, he expressed his feelings for me but I told him I didn't feel the same way. We remained friends and he is still a part of my life till date. He still tells me how much he loves me and I know it's true. I really want to love him back but the feelings are not just there and I can't help it. I just don't love him beyond brotherly love and this tears him apart. He recently told me we can't continue to be friends because it's killing him. I respected his decision although I miss his company. 

Now, the main ish here is that I've found myself falling in love with this new guy and he loves me dearly too. It just happened like that! I didn't plan it, I didn't want it!! Heck, I tried fighting it but the feelings just keeps getting strong. I really love this guy, he's caring, kind and sweet...everything a girl would ever want. I even told him about my virginity status. I plainly expressed that this might be a problem to him if we eventually date and he was like "Is that all?" "It doesn't bother me, I just want you".

I have two problems now;

1. I'm skeptical about giving my heart out again, going by what happened the last time but I seem to trust this guy and I'm crazily in love with him.

2. My childhood friend (remember him from before?) knows this guy very well and it will BREAK HIM if he finds out.

I don't know what to do.  Stella, please I need your red pen...I see you as a mother figure. I can't tell my mum all these details...hehehe!

Dear BVs, please pitch in too!

What do I do?

My dear the only way you can stay completely celibate is not to date at all except you are dating someone who might want to settle down soon.

You see another problem?When a woman really falls in love,she puts the shut cookie jar at risk....stop dating and falling in love if you are not ready otherwise same thing with your ex will keep happening- heartbreak!

As for that your friend,you told him how it is,there is no need to feel bad.just dont ignore him totally.

what else?

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NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
NO LONGER IN LOVE WITH WIFEY.

Please pardon my long chronicle and typos.

Thank you for the good job you are doing SDK, giving people the forum to vent their hurts and offload their burdens. It's always refreshing to be able to tell your stories and sieve through the comments to seek advise.

Now this is my story: I wrote sometimes last year about a mistake I made. Something I am not proud of but always ashamed of. I take full responsibility of it, I prayed and fasted about it and believe I have been forgiven. Sometime

last year, I wrote of receiving a BJ from my girlfriend because my wife of 10 years refused to do same. Just a BJ once, broke off the relationship and I have repented . Now this is the full story and the state of things.

When I met my girlfriend who later became my wife, she was the best lady any guy could ask for; sweet, homely and loving. After 10 months of dating, we got married in a beautiful wedding ceremony, right after two years of marriage, troubles started; the loving wife changed completely, she would fight and nag at me at any given opportunity, would oppose me and refuse to even communicate with me, would disagree with me even on issues that are so true and correct and would curse me out at every chance she gets.

 She refused me sex, 90% of the time when I asked for sex the answer was NO, I resulted to pleasuring myself to avoid cheating and it was in one of those moments I met the lady who offered the BJ.

My wife will always accuse me of wanting to control her even when I was sincere and genuine, it was so bad that she became good friends with my sworn enemies just to get back at me. At a time, she got a project at work with a client, she was struggling with it so I advised her on how to do the project but because she doesn't want to take my advise, she completed the project wrongly,  failed the project and was terminated all because she didn't listen to my advise. 

She complained I was too tough and will never listen to me, no matter what I say . She only cooked when she feels like so I had to eat before coming home so I don't go hungry, the love went away, we only lived as roommates and only communicated when necessary.

Fast forward to early this year, my wife became a changed person, she apologized for her mistakes and has been pleading, she is totally a different person and would not do anything without consulting me. To say the least, she made a complete change. She worships the soil I walk on right now and would do anything for me. However, here is the problem, my love for her has gone, now she initiates sex but my mind isn't there anymore. I still remember when she used to say NO and tells me she would accuse me of rape if I pressed further. 

I remember the days I went hungry because she refused giving me food even when she was home all day. She has begged, I have forgiven her but the love is not there again.

How do I bring back the love? I want to love her again, how can I do this?

*Hmmm..give it time,enjoy what shes offering and try to be little soft,you seem to have a really toughed mindset,just a feeling from reading you..also work to better how you approach her emotionally.

Good luck.