Hisss!!!!
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
A BOYFRIEND THAT IS TOO ACCOMMODATING
Hi Stella and fellow BVs, thanks for the great work.
My boyfriend is a very wonderful person and we are so crazy about each other. We plan settling down next year by the special grace of God.
Here comes my worries, first my boyfriend has too many male friends that come over to his house to eat and some even sleep over and it's making me sick!
I have female friends too but all are not very close that they could come visit, I talk to them on phone and on social media.
I am a very reserved person and when I date I just want it to be the two of us, no intruder not even siblings. When they come I don't frown at them nor make faces, I welcome them but deep down, i don't like it.
I am a very reserved person and when I date I just want it to be the two of us, no intruder not even siblings. When they come I don't frown at them nor make faces, I welcome them but deep down, i don't like it.
I don't want a situation where when we get married, lots of visitors would be trooping in, the worst part is that he now feels so happy with my sister coming to the house even she goes to his room to stay but I don't think that's right.
I know I may need to adjust a little as I'm not used to it but I also think he needs lots of adjustment especially when we settle down because my parents hardly have friends around them so that has affected my upbringing greatly though family members are welcome but they do not go into my parents' bedroom.
I know I and my guy can talk about this but am I the one with issues or just being unnecessarily jealous? Again, is it weird for my sisters to have a close relationships with their intending BIL?.
I basically don't have female friends again, you know girls and their wahala, I had to cut them off because I would be getting married soon and my boyfriend loves and accommodates everyone that's my friend, my best friend almost caused a rift between us so I cut her off.
Dear Bvs, is it also good for him to cut off most of his friends when we are about getting married? Please married ones with similar issue, how do I deal with all these? Thank you. I love you Stella GBY.
WHOLLY MOSES!!!..you are the type of lady that people pray their brothers never meet!
So everyone should go into extinction because you are getting married?you want him all to yourself?i give one month after honeymoon and you will never find him at home...You need friends and space in marriage..I see you choking this man ,ah ah!!!
You dont trust his friends,your friends and even your sisters?na wah oh.
What is the big deal with entering bedroom?Please renew your mindset...you dont even need to cut off your friends,with what you just explained up there,i would cut you off ASAP.
.........................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
FALLING IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE SO RIGHT BUT SO WRONG
FALLING IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE SO RIGHT BUT SO WRONG
I'm a girl of 26, I met a guy recently via a friend, the guy is 33 years old.
This guy is a business man and he's doing pretty well (he's not a yahoo boy, 100% sure). The issue right now is that he really likes me, takes care of me, talks about the future and also talking about meeting my parents in December.
Stella, this guy didn't finish school, his English is poor though he's trying. He came recently to visit me in March and I realized he has visible tattoos and wears studs.
I have learnt not to judge people based on this. Trust me this guy is very nice and doesn't joke with me at all.
Now I'm confused because I'm a medical doctor and I haven't even introduced him to any of my friends because of what they will say. Including my parents also. Please I need advice because i'm losing my mind.
Let me read comments on this one
chronicles has landed..........
ReplyDeletePoster one- u get problem
DeleteCheck urself
Poster2-u find love in weird places
Many ladies will go for that man ....caring guys no dey again
Poster 1....please take a chill pill, haba.. Ur too insecure... I tot I was bad bt till I read dis. I only hv issues with plenty showing up unannounced, once u inform me it's good. U hv to learn to create a balance nne..
DeletePoster 2....errrm pray about everything, if it's God's will everyone will accept him. It's not abt looks bt d heart... Ur d one going to spend the rest of your life with him so u know best.... JudyKay...
Poster1: Don't ever listen to blog visitors oh, they're different ppl with different mindsets here, the social and loud ones will insult you, cus they're extroverts and they see nothing wrong with it.... The introverts will agree with you, there's nothing better than having ur private corner oh, i see reasons with u.... Even stella said what's so special about the bedroom, my dear, the bedroom is a respected plc in that house, if this act continues, it will continue even after wedding, u can be sleepin or chnaging sef, one idiot will walk into you..... Cus its a norm, so pls draw ur BFs ears to draw boundary.
DeleteExactly! I don't understand Stella's advice. Poster 1 I understand where you're coming from. I like my privacy...not an open house where all sorts troop in. In these evil days you never know why people are really up to...even your own sister could be plotting your downfall. Please nip it in the bud before your your home becomes a public place.
DeletePoster one dont worry once ure married they wont b coming ur boo will b d one going out to b with his friends. Now where ull b having prob is this, d moment u start nagging him abt cutting off completely from friends n family including urs know uve lost him to them. Oh that is certain. He will either show u ur limits in his own way or secretly hang out with them bearing in mind one secret leads to one too many. Be guilded, ure threading on d wrong path. Generally too much of amything is bad.
DeletePoster 2. Personally i cant stand such a guy. Uve a choice bt dont 4get love is not enough sometimes. His english can b worked on but tatoos n stud? I reserve my comment.
Poster 1: don't listen to stella o. Don't!!! Ha! There's something we call PRIVACY!!! Don't listen to stella, I repeat, don't.
DeleteStella, if u like no post am, na u sabi
Poster two ....na yahoo boy in a coded well. Dem dey do ritual too. Trust me.
DeletePoster one....i hate you. You are dangerous and evil.
Loool Omasiri I'm with you on this one. He has visible tattoos nd wears studs nd u say he is not yahoo boy? Aunty u r on a long thing. Amean he is 33 nd still wears studs? Lmaooo. Medical doc pls do ur research weellll!
DeleteOsas Jasmine Osemwenkha,National Open University.
DeleteSo u know wat Privacy is?
Pig like U.
Poster 1 you have a very big problem and may deliver me from your type amen!
DeletePoster 1, I feel u o. I also don't like ppl entering my bedroom. N don't buy d idea of ppl coming to skeep over. Try to curtail it now with style b4 it becomes worse. Tell him not to b allowing ppl to enter his bedroom freely cos it cud get worse in future
DeletePoster 1, don't allow your sisters to be too close to your man pls! Small time now they will start forming besties with him. Na so stories that touch dey start o
ReplyDeletePosted 1, don't mind Stella oo, I under where you are coming from. Do not allow your siblings to be that close to the point of going to your bf abi hubby to be's bedroom. That's how it stars, as what kwanu?
DeleteAs for the friends, don't worry it will reduce, and if doesn't, nne biko tell your man how you feel. You don't need too much friends to enjoy your marriage, again, don't listen to Stella on that. Friends come with A LOT of baggage, and am glad you've had a dose of it from your so called bestie.
Poster2...if say your bobo sabi speak english, I for tell you to drop him pin or number.
DeletePoster1...talk to your man to cut off his friends or tell them to stop visiting.Bear in mind You'd be solely responsible for anything that happens afterwards because your boo might start staying out and staying out late just to be with his friends.Since you like privacy,you being home alone should work.
Chronicles landed
ReplyDeletePoster 1, I am with Stella abeg. I believe a couple should have their private time but zeroing female friends because "you know how girls are", no problem, your own even reach siblings ahhh.
Poster 2... I was in your predicament but I was sure I could not be with someone I am not proud of, so I decided to cut it off. Mind you, I was 28 when it happened, and being a gwez was not my problem because, I'll rather be single and happy than married and unhappy. But dear, just reason it well and see if you can take it
Yes,don't marry who you not proud of,cos if you are by now you must have introduced him to all your friends.forget your age and get it right so you won't regret it for the rest of your life,unless he is teachable and he is ready to learn,you can start by teaching him how to speak well,and doing away with the stud,
DeleteEerrmm,the Tattoo,i don't know because I personally don't see any one with tattoo as a decent person.
Poster 1,try and have a free spirit towards his friends,with time he might start reducing them him self when more responsibilities comes.
Poster 1 try and talk to him about it calmly....ignore aunty's RED pen
DeleteHow will your sisters be entering his bed room isn't it the same upbringing you have, if you don't invite them in they shouldn't go in. I visit my married sisters them and their DH share same bedroom I knock before going in and if I no hear come in I don't enter and that's when I want to tell her something or say good morning ooo but that doesn't mean my self and their Dh's are not paddy's cos am the last in my house but there are boundaries abeg
Poster two, if ur gut feeling is saying 'wrong' don't force urself. U be doc and u have a good chance to land d best!
ReplyDeleteposter 1: yes u r the one with the problem,yes i know our world is bad cos bil sleep with sil et all but then ah ahn he accomodates his friends bfor u guys started dating oo , he is dting u u now want him to stop what the hell? abeg abeg abeg leave him alone n learn to accomodate too.u cannot stop him from who he is abi?Soon u will say no mum , dad, sisters n bros of his should come around.Nne no be like that inugo these same ppl might help him on his way up abeg.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 :He wears studs n has tatoos simple n short u cannot deal? u dont expect him to tear his skin to remove the tatto naa simple move on let a woman who likes those be with him. Did u not see them studs n tats bfor if u cannot intro him to ppl u cannot be with him shikena.If u even tell him to take off the studs he wont respect it cos to him that is the happening thing mehn
😘😘😘😘
Delete@1, ur sisters has no business going into ur bf room, talk abt his friends frequent visit, there should be a limit to everything,but if he doesn't change then manage him like dat.
ReplyDelete@2, what is wrong with tattoos,if d guy was very rich I don't think u will be bothered abt his educational background, did u nit know he was an illiterate before u agreed to date him, d guy has notin to lose if u dump him cos, guy man don shine ur Toto tire, so na u lose.
👏👏👏👏👏👏
DeleteSo you cut off your "bestie" because you'd be getting married soon? Like, marriage was the reason for the disconnection? And you now want to cut off your sisters?
ReplyDeleteYou are a selfish girl and you could kill, you pretentious slimy girl.
With the way you are, your sisters lives are in grave danger. You are capable of poisoning them.
You don't need to fly at night before I term you a witch. IFOD!
😂😂😂😂😂😂😘😘😘😘
DeleteWho even wants to be friends with poster 1. I pity you. Na your type dey stab man out of jealousy.
DeleteWell said.
DeleteQuicksilver, mother confessor:
DeleteMuaaaaaaaah to you all. I too tired but you ladies have said it all.
It's not just jealousy but RAW PURE CRUDE UNADULTERATED ORIGINAL SELFISHNESS.
DeleteYou sound like my sis cos she's damn selfish.
poster one you will have to accept your bf just the way he is, he is a friendly and free person just like me, there is no issue with him having friends that come to his house and enter his bedroom, i have friends that enter my bedroom, kitchen, they serve themselves and relax when ever they come visiting.
ReplyDeleteyour sister being close to your bf is not bad, you can only complain if your bf is making moves to touch her else no need to worry joor.
Sense😘
DeleteStella we need your E-SLAP for Poster 1. Foolish girl and foolish thinking.
ReplyDeletePoster 2.... no vex ooo, may be i be old school which one he wears stud? Enlighten me on that. If you are shy about him, drop him, where that blog visitor that has been shouting Le boo where are you, give her the guy's number since na ENGLISH you want to marry.
Studs is earring....thou no hole on d ear...but kinda magnetic earring...
DeleteI beg to disagree with you (poster 1)
DeleteWhat do you mean shy about him? LMJ no dey fall my hand naa..ah ah
@Poster 1, I don't pray any of my brother marry such a lady like you. Don't you know his friends will stay @ their house once he's married? Guys are always like that when they're still single. Try to be friendly and accommodating shoogbo
ReplyDelete@Poster 2, tell him to wear a long sleeve shirt when he's visiting your parents. Also, you can talk to him on how he dresses that you don't want, he's likely to change. Mind you, I love guys that use studs, I will use stud for my son too, that's if I've not changed my mind sha lol
*Larry was here*
I love studs too😘
DeleteI believe the studs she meant is earings.
DeleteIs that what u want to wear ur son?
Lol...thanks atheist
DeleteP1.y are you leaving with someone one you are not yet married to.
ReplyDeleteYeah goodpoint
DeleteThank you!!!! To the extent her sister comes visiting. if you can leave with him before marriage then be ready to take whatever
DeletePoster 1,
ReplyDeleteThis is normal with guys nau...most men are like that...
When we were growing up,my brother's friends used to troop in and out of our house...I would cook,before you know what was happening,they don finish the food leave plate and pot for me to wash!...
Then we use to make eba with a big bowl...
But now,all those things have changed!...they are all married and none of their friends visit their houses like that...
He will change after you guys gets married...don't worry your self!.,
Poster 2,
Mumu girl,you saw someone that treats you well and you are talking rubbish!..
Be there asking stupid question until you end up a frustrated gwegz...
You think it's by being a medical doctor!...
Dnt mind d yeye Dr let her be living 4 pepo.As d guy age he will drop those things.A dr dt I knw is now Aunty gwegs. If u dnt mind,my frnd needs his contact.
DeleteMmm Dr i dont like stud too and i hate tatoo.
DeleteIts a turn off for me.
But i am in love with you please can we meet?
poster1,u must b a foolish fool.too childish.i am even angry i read to d end.
ReplyDeleteDear Medic, you've got a pathology here; delusion of grandiose! So because you are a medical doctor, everyone else should be a medical doctor? And you had classmates, why didn't you marry anyone of them and you were with them for six years? Please evaluate your priorities; do you want marriage with peace or marriage with social/academic status?
ReplyDeleteIf what you care about is "what people say"; leave this man alone. If what you care about is Peace of mind and what God thinks about you; then marry him and help him develop.
Mr Pathologist... how are you so sure that this is what God wants ir thinks about her.
DeleteEven God is against tatoo or stud or which of the desciples wore stud?
Its a No No for her.
Please Dr. Leave the man, you would meet a better man.
Poster one u be 'one man squad'? On d other hand, it's not good to flood ur home with 'friends' cos u never know who d enemy within is.
ReplyDeleteWhen a lady no longer has friends, she will attribute it to ''you know ladies and their wahala so I had to cut them off''... They will never say they are de ones with wahala.. Always the perfect one..
ReplyDeletePoster one, that's for you
Hahahaha...
DeleteEvery woman i know say "women and their wahala" and i can't epp but wonder who be the women
Lmao @women and wahala, Same here ooo @emperor, I have been wondering since 1940's who be these women wey get wahala
Deleteposter 1,see how selfish u sound,i feel like e-slapping u.y are u this insecure.u have issues abeg,i pray the guy opens his eyes before marrying u.u make issues out of nothing.no man is an island,the same family and friends u want to pursue u will still need,u have a bad attitude and outlook towards life please change.
ReplyDeleteposter2
y are u decieving urself that he is not a yahoo boy,u know we sdkers must talk,his description reeks of yahooism.y are u with a man u are ashmed of,obviously money,y do good girls like wild men,u are ashamed becos u know deep down u are not meant for each other.please free the guy for someone who will love him completely.
Poster 2,You'll never live a happy life if you always care about what others think or say about you....it's your life and yours alone not theirs.
ReplyDeleteFollow your heart...
Gbam!!!!.
DeletePoster 1: better calm down....wats with u sef? U jst want him to have u,i hope only both of u can solve your problems too..if na me be ur sis i fr don bone u sef
ReplyDeletePoster 2: please u no even make any point..wait till u're 29 nd we will advice u
On the medical doctor,may be una go marry relocate to America, where tattoos dey reign.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, na wa for you o. If the friends don't are not bad influence then no problem.
ReplyDeleteI dey watch TV for my sister bedroom o. Na the husband go even say "go upstairs i want to watch football". Nothing bad biko.
If he's not close to your siblings you will complain still. Please forget how yo were brought up.
Poster 2, if you love him and like to marry him, then tell him what you like.
My sis's/sis's inlaw flow into my husbands room lyk kilode,once hz home dey al swim bk to d living room.. Nat a biggie so long as dey al knw d boundary. Hian dz woman fi kee person wit jealosy. Mbok!
DeleteIf the friends are not*
DeleteEnglish hard o
I hope you are not crushing or having something with your BIL
Deleteposter two if you cannot show case your man to the world then walk away, who certificate or education epp?
ReplyDeletei have a sister that is also a doctor but her husband is not a graduate, the guy is doing so well in business, he has doo, the guy got swag, they have been married for 16 years and the man is not thinking of going to school, money dey who they think of school, abeg carry your doctor certificate go sit down since you cannot introduce him to your friends, some of those your friends whil rush this guy and marry him. mumu sitdown there they think about what will people say, your happiness matters alot.
Na wa oh. The doctor meant his appearance, not school. Read and discern
DeleteAsin she ll be looking so put together and the guy will come with studs and tattoos
DeletePoster1: I think you need help ASAP ......ur type will stop ur husband people from visiting.....am not saying they should come stay permanently but once in a while they breeze in likewise his frnds.
ReplyDeleteHis friends will reduce the way they visit once u guys settle down.
And yes there is nothing wrong if ur siblings are close to ur man.
Stop being paranoid Biko ...........I don't like ur type tho
Poster one, I understand perfectly your type but try to loosen up alittle. NEVER YOU ALLOW ANYBODY INTO YOUR MATRIMONIAL BEDROOM WHEN MARRIED EVEN YOUR PARENTS.
ReplyDeletePoster two. The major danger of tatoo is that he can never donate blood in emergency situation. As a medical doctor too, I would suggest you use laser therapy to clean the tatoo. Good luck
Wetin dey the bedroom wey person no go enter?abegi,people place too much relevance on things that don't matter.
DeleteEverything dey the bedroom.
DeleteAll if this Ruth abokoku sef. Wetin! I enter my sister's room wella. In fact when gist enter body na their room we dey finish am.....with her hubby ooooo. We relate well like siblings. So wetin? I am married now and my house is opened to my loved ones. If you are not loved no one will visit you I tell you. Make his friends yours and be free with people. Life is too short abeg.
DeleteD bedroom na shrine?
DeleteEven her parents? Ogbeni your privacy no he here oo.
DeleteOsas Jasmine Osemwenkha,of course you will know wat is inside a Bedroom.
DeleteDirty fat pig like U
poster two you have to make up your mind on what you want, school and certificate is not everything in life.
ReplyDeletewho English speaking epp? if you are not proud of your man, then walk away. Am sure some of those your friends will rush him, since the guy has money and is treating you with plenty respect forget his English and marry him.
Poster 1 don't make your boyfriend abandon you or call of the marriage. So he can't have friends anymore or his friends can't visit him. What kind of person are you?? You think his friends will still be coming to sleep in your house when you get married to him??
ReplyDeleteMy husband dad his friends were that way, always coming and sleeping in his house, it made me close to them during our courtship period. After marriage no one comes to sleep around in the house anymore because they gave their selves brain..
They come around the house, hang out and go back to their homes. I even like the fact that the come around to hang out in that house as it makes my husband not go out. He is always indoors aside from when he is at work or the few times I beg him to go out and hang out with his friends as I see in their eyes sometimes that they want to go out..
So please chill. You cut off your friends because of a man. Na wa o. After marriage you would need friend just so you know. Don't make your husband run away from you
poster1: hmmmm I fear UR type ooo
ReplyDeleteposter2: pray to God to show you the way forward
Chronicles sannu de zuwa.. will be reading comments!
ReplyDeleteChronicles sannu de zuwa.. will be reading comments!
ReplyDeletePoster 1, u re like my sister, let me tell u d downside of Ur behaviour, bcos dt is wt my sister is facing nw! When u have problems wiv Ur husband, weather emotionally n financially! Nobody! N I repeat nobody! Wud come to Ur rescue! The pple u keep cutting off nw may jst be the pple dt wud be useful to u in future! U better be wise!
ReplyDeleteHonestly she won't see anybody in times of trouble, y can't u be free with them? Nobody would come to ur house wen u r married
Deleteposter 2, u are a medical doctor, u need a man that is responsible and LOOKS responsible to. so let this one slide. u will have better suitors.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 - Your BF is GAY.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 - Tattoos, studs, ear-ring, tongue piercing, cannot speak English....
Your BF is GAY too.
Have a blessed day.
Spirit ure gay
DeletePoster one....there is something wrong with you.......you are reserved bla bla bla.......That guy na bad market
ReplyDeletePoster two......Siddon dere make pant dry wear u.....You know he is a yahoo guy,if not,u wouldn't tell us this
You are a medical professional....i think you should have "brain"....have street sense....That guy is bad market
@Galore
Madam doctor I can see you being ashamed of this guy. Allah me sef go shame.
ReplyDeleteBut who am I to judge where the heart is involved?
Poster1 u are very selfish. Work on yourself.
ReplyDeletePoster2 u don't know what u want. Let him go.
She is not selfish.
DeleteStella abeg park well. Why don't have allow all your family and friends live with you? There should be boundaries please.
ReplyDeletePoster 1. U r obsessive nd Dats a disorder. Poster 2 leave dat alone for someone who will cherish him. Madam certificate. U can gbensh "badboy" but u don't wnt to marry bad boy. Ode.
DeletePoster 1. U r obsessive nd Dats a disorder. Poster 2 leave dat alone for someone who will cherish him. Madam certificate. U can gbensh "badboy" but u don't wnt to marry bad boy. Ode.
DeleteAre her family and friends living with her or you read a different write up??
DeleteThanks you annon, help me ask her, stella's privacy is out of this world, yet she's advising someone else to do othereise
DeletePoster1: Im an introvert, so i get where ure coming from... seems ur BFs temperament is sanguine, theyre very sociable & easy to make friends, & clearly ure not, read about "Human Temperaments", u can google it, you"d learn alot about his kind & what to expect from his future actions. Ofcourse you're both from different backgrounds & upbringing, there'd definately be a point you'd need to compromise, if it wasnt this, then it'd have been the collection being bad or something else, the friends would automatically reduce when u get maried even without him telling them, just the parasites will remain... & the bedroom should be ur holy sanctuary, out of bounds to family/friends, u shld speak to him about that now, or it'd continue into marriage.
ReplyDeletePoster2: I guess the heart wants what the heart wants right?? Physical appearance & first impression matter alot, cus people will judge u even b4 they know u personally, thats the truth, if hes trully serious with u, he'd present himself as a gentleman to win ur dads heart, xplain this to him.... i know for sure that a man would do anything to win a lady, same thg the ladies do, with all them high heel and brazilian hair n make up, basically presenting themselves to the opposite sex to be attracted to them, even b4 knowing their true character.... So Doc, he needs a complete make over!!!!!!
#Cersei: Do you know why varys is so dangerous?
Tyrion: Bcus he has thousands of spies in his employ, & he knws everythg we do b4 we do it.
Cersei: Because he doesnt have a cock.
Bless you atheist for your comment @poster1
Delete'Holy sanctuary' it is
Gbam!!! Some friends can be so 'parasitic' that they won't stop visiting even after marriage. Same behaviour before and after marriage
Delete#Tyrion Lannister: My lady, people have been laughing at me far longer than they've been laughing at you. I'm the Half-Man, the Demon-Monkey, the Imp.
DeleteSansa Stark: You're a Lannister. I am the disgraced daughter of the traitor, Ned Stark.
Tyrion Lannister: The disgraced daughter and the demon monkey. We're perfect for each other...
Both poster listen to atheist
Deleteerrrrm........ I am out. I understand poster 1 tho.. Who needs friends trooping in and out of one's house anyhow. I, for one , know some friends can be very annoying , i mean they dont know when to respect your space , always expecting you to cook for them and even clean up. hian .... Most of these friends are bad influence that dont even mean well... I have nothing against a friend or two but plenty friends trooping in and out? no biko... Talk to your man.
ReplyDeletePoster 2.........Let me read first... brb.
Will read comments
ReplyDeletePoster one what is wrong with you ?
ReplyDeleteWhere you molested , shouted at etc as a child ?
Free your spirit ooh , marriage is not like that. Yes you don't need to be too accommodating but sweet you need people , sisters , bil in your life. Don't complain about his friends coming to sleep over , he is a bachelor and has not married u yet . Guys are like that. When he get married you don't see them coming to sleep over anymore.
Free yourself , accommodate his friends make them your friends too self so they will like you and keep your bf on check . Trust me men care so much about what his guys says about his babe.
As a matter of fact she's the one intruding cos you guys are not married. Why live with him sef? Oga! Whatever happened to respect in courtship abi weekend visit once awhile.
DeleteGive your man some space! You choke him you loose him
ReplyDeleteYou cut ur friends off just because u are about getting married?
ReplyDeleteYou think that's where it ends or probably they won't get married or maybe u thing u are more lucky n favoured than them?
You type usually get stucked in bad marriage.........am married n still friends with all my single frnds,we still gist n hang out togeda.
Time will come when you will need those Frnd u left all bcos of marriage .
You are a bad person,I don't associate with ur type........
She isn't even married yet,she is driving everyone away.
DeleteBiko pack well, who asked you if you are married? You are married but the level of silliness you display here can't even be compared with....she didn't ask you to associate with her.
DeletePeople are different ok?
All of a sudden to you are trying to be nice, taaaa.
I didn't forget to go anonymous.
poster 1, ur head is not correct, pls do ur guy a favour and leave him alone before pple will hate him bcos of your yeye control freak character.... mtcheeeeeeew
ReplyDeletepopster 2, ur case is critical, lemme jst read comment
Poster 1, iri very mean... you mean well well... hian!
ReplyDeleteNo she's not, because if her sister gets involved with hubby to be tomorrow, no in a go say, why she no sharp, why no notice when it started, no so excited day take start, even sisters dey get jealous of their sister's man.
DeletePoster one, the only thing i was jst seeing from ur writeup was we r getting married, wen we get married, going to get married, planning on getting married, about getting married. Shuo, r u tge first to get married? Nya becos ur getting married brother shouldnt live anymore. Im sure getting married is ur greatest achievement, please live alittle before getting married so that u both dont chock on getting married!!(im rhyming lol)
ReplyDeletePoster two, do u love him? Can u be with him n not find anything wrong with his english n mode of dressing?
U cnt even show him off to ur friends! Nne let him go, someone that will accept him for who he is will find him, if u marry him, u will try to change him, n if he isnt comfortable with it, it will tear u apart instead of the opposite. Let him go, bt if u feel u want him, with all his shortcomings, that u would be proud to defend him in front of any one, That will love him wen he uses is instead of was, by all means marry him!
Stella me follow you and leave comments.I love you Stella.....
ReplyDelete1. What are you doing in his house; opening legs and collecting penis? Has he paid your bride price? And your sister is visiting and entering his room? Well, I see two sisters getting pregnant for same man here. Remember that abortion can lead to death and your sister will be so excited to keep hers and be the bride. Get the two of you out of that house and evaluate everything you've known and see if you are suited for his bride. If not move on.
ReplyDeletePoster one calm down, he's still just a boyfriend and you are extremely paranoid by the way.
ReplyDeletePoster two just negodu! You are both from 2 different worlds but it seems you aren't ready to compromise and are ashamed of displaying your boyfriend cos he doesn't meet your expectation, please free the guy for thirsty girls out there.
My dear I am reserved like u but then I know when to draw the line,u are just being too possessive and with the way you are thinking even if u get married to that guy u won't b happy,u will b tagged the bad wife by friends and even family.. Try to loosen up a bit,most times I don't like going out,I just let my man go n do what he likes after all he had a life before we met n I am not one to cage a man.
ReplyDeleteP1...I understand your background affects how you see people who try to get close to you but honey you must not isolate yourself in a relationship. It is very foolish to do so. Your bf caused an issue between you and your man, it is either she is sketchy or you need to relax. If you have sketchy sisters and friends then I can understand your reservations but to want your man all to you is dangerous. He needs a life outside you and you need one outside him. You will choke him and he will run.
ReplyDeleteP2...If the fit is not there then keep waiting on who will work for you. Not everyone who is nice can be your man. Tattoos and studs can be removed, English can be taught and learned. A good character is not one that is easy to find. These are the fundamental things. Is this man looking to develop himself? Is he comfortable in who he is? Check for signs of insecurity...if all is well. Fire on and dont miss a good thing because of superficial traits.
Stella i would have to say you are very wrong with your judgement on the first post, I am a guy and DO NOT like having too many friends around invading my privacy, my personal space and also my relationship. Cutting off doesn't necessarily mean totally but at least gain back some of your space, We are all different and you cant judge people with your own personality and the comment "you are the type of lady that people pray their brothers never meet" is not appropriate.
ReplyDeleteStill my favorite blogger tho!
Thank you!!!
DeleteAll you females typing as men to make your point....
DeletePoster 1 boyfriend is an extrovert, she can't convert him to an introvert. Try it and see how he will run from you. You are too possessive and selfish..
If you can't deal with his type go and marry your type please
Exactly@annon 15:37, not nice at all.
DeleteGbam!!
DeletePoster 1,you are very foolish.How selfish can you be? So because he wants to marry you,every other person in his life should disappear abi? Very wicked of you.Even your own siblings? Wow!!!
ReplyDeletePoster 2, I personally can't deal with a guy that's not proficient in English. I just can't deal.Tattoos are a no for me as well.But if you feel you can handle it,then go ahead.At the end of the day,you alone will live with him.
Poster 2 if you know you can't cope with him, you better stop taking his money. At the end of the day, it's his character you will love with ,not his poor English or tattoo or studs. Who English epp? Who cares what your friends or family think? What matters is what you think! Poster 1. Hmmmm you are a problematic somborri. Ah ah!! God knows before he let your path meet with your fiance. You need to open your heart to accept others. You will have kids in future and they will make friends who will come visiting. What are you gonna do then? Try to enjoy it and don't you dare trying to force him to cut his friends off. You chose to cut off yours. Try it. When boredom sets in body go tell you.
ReplyDeletePoster1, Try and change your mind set
ReplyDeleteChange it to what?
DeleteNarrative 1. I got married to a man that 'was a man of the people'. We had visiotors coming and going on a daily basis. His brother brought his girlfriend, his girlfriend's two sisters, his male friends. His other siblings were always coming and going -we were all in same state. I cooked huge pots of soup/stew daily. I tried to advise my husband he said a woman cannot come between him and his friends. It got so bad that i decided to stop cooking. That didn't change anything cause his brother always had one of his friends that will cook. About 1 year after our marriage he lost his job. I wasn't working. No savings cause we were running a free restaurant. Three years later the marriage packed up for reasons that will take a lot of time. Fast forward to some years later that his brother got married to his girlfriend. That same girlfriend that was always staying in my ex's house with her two sisters couldn't allow the daughter i had for my ex who was schooling in the State where they lived to stay with them. Sadly though, that marriage has packed up too. Moral of this story- BE WISE.
ReplyDeleteGod bless u
DeletePoster 2-please in the name of God,the creator of heaven and earth,the giver of life,the I AM that I Am,DO MARRY YOURSELF. so what if he has tats,or can't speak good English?there are many couples who can speak queens English but are so miserable in their marriage.
ReplyDeletePrep him and make him look good for your parents,inasmuch as he loves and adores you,that's all that matters.
Poster 1- please don't marry that guy and cage him,cause someone like you,have inferiority problems,am sure,you will even suspect your mom if she is close to him,or even his sister too.
Do grow the hell up,once you are married some friends will respect the union and cut him some slack,or even limit their hangout to weekends.
Abeg you seem to be your own problem.
And for the records,there is nothing special about the bedroom.
There is nothing special about the bedroom??? Abeg when u get married allow ur husband's female friends wine and dine in ur bedroom.
Delete#1- Please reset your mindset and pray.
ReplyDelete#2- I have never seen a (f) medical doctor that married an illiterate.
#CorrectMeBVs
change it to what and pray about what exactly?
DeleteThat reminds me, poster 2.
Please Waka pass this one, you are not proud of him. His not your level, so don't settle for that please, you will always compare him.with someone else. Goodluck though
Poster one,
ReplyDeleteLwkmd.... You are yet to understand what marriage is all about. You think it is child's play abi? The worst thing a woman will do is to deprive her husband of his family and friends. Boredom go kill you as you watch him gently walk away to beer parlour everyday. You don't know part of the fun in marriage is having your families and friends around.
At times I intentional ask my hubby to invite his friends over to the house and I invite my siblings over too to come watch football match in our house while I prepare peppered meat, food, and drinks for them to enjoy the moment. If you don't have sense and strategies, you can never enjoy your marriage. I'm skilled in studying my hubby that I work in his own path with him. I know his likes and dislikes et al. My hubby prefers coming home to be with me than spending time outside; and do you know why? I don't order him around or dedicate his activities for him but he must eat food sha before going anywhere so his tommy will be too full to accommodate any excess lol.
You must be very wise to be able to keep a home else, you lose both hubby and home. I wish you the very best and hope you can at least draw 1/4 of lesson from my story.
I see the love you have for your husband, kudos.
DeleteAshi gi,boredom ko, loneliness ni, everything has limit.
DeletePoster two, borrow yourself brains I beg you.
ReplyDeleteYou are a doctor and all you can attract to yourself is an urchin smh.
Mtcheeeew
ReplyDeleteBoth of u don't have any problem at all. All u need do is to go for deliverance.
ReplyDeleteThanks
@ poster 1... pls upgrade ur mindset. poster 2.....am as confused as u are, so lets wait for advisers
ReplyDeleteHahahhaha
DeletePoster 1 I use to be like you before I got married because my hubby is an extrovert,over social and friendly,but everything changed with time after we got married,the friends that have access to your house and bedroom now have sense,so they too will adjust when you guys get married and you ll enjoy all the privacy in the world. One more thing........free your mind and enjoy the people around you today,they ll not always be around you know. Learn to trust as well,there's nothing wrong with your sis been close to your man
ReplyDeleteWhat if they won't have?? My dad's own didn't have until they killed him including his relatives
DeleteI forgot and he never listened to my mum too, she didn't stay with him unlike now that u go to bf's house anyhow.
DeletePoster Plz come down and see this. Talk to him nicely and apply wisdom too not every1 is bad, not every1 is good too
Poster 1 you are so pathetic ! You are the type of woman parents warn their sons about .you don't even deserve that nice guy.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: who English epp ? Abi you are now looking for A man with good command of English but poor? Abeg, be teaching him one by one ! Watch nice English movies together , he will learn.
P1, simple comment; you ain't ready for marriage. Ve'nt you heard of that fact about marriage which says "When you marry a person, you marry his whole family"
ReplyDeleteP2, If you are ashamed of introducing your guy to your friends or family, then he's not the right one for u...
If one has no confidence in his/her partner then the person z just playing around
Poster 1 is so annoying..mtcheww
ReplyDeleteOh well, that's your opinion
DeleteAdanne, confess, you are poster one. See you trolling those that don't agree with you.
Deletemust 'world ppl' ask evrything now on SM?
ReplyDeleteP2, decide this day what u want cos u're the one who'll live with this 'funky trader' for the rest of ur life!
Poster1, go and put him inside bottle, only then will you be very o and have him to yourself... poster2 big stupid ode, typical example of a materialistic and greedy person..you've seen money and care, all of a sudden, you no longer have morals or standards?? you're sure it's not yahoo, blah blah blah, ewu congo...better let his tats be visible the day. he comes to see your parents, and he should be studded up too, so they'll clap for you and your ndi america...
ReplyDeletePoster1, go and put him inside bottle, only then will you be very ok and have him to yourself... poster2 big stupid ode, typical example of a materialistic and greedy person..you've seen money and care, all of a sudden, you no longer have morals or standards?? you're sure it's not yahoo, blah blah blah, ewu congo...better let his tats be visible the day. he comes to see your parents, and he should be studded up too, so they'll clap for you and your ndi america...
ReplyDeletePoster1,my hubby is like u.No friends or family entring into our bedroom but me,i dnt hv dt time. His sister comes and tries not to allow her enter bedroom
ReplyDeleteI remember wen a cousin of his came for a few days visit wt her grandchild,hubby didn't allow them into any of d rooms(we sleep in one n hv 2 free ones excluding d kids own) oga brought mattress for this his cousin n grandchild to sleep in d sitting room n shut the middle door.I tried my best to talk to him but he refused.i knw she might think it was my idea bt Almighty knws my hrt.
Na dt day she comot till now,she never visited
I love your hubby ooooo walahi! He indirectly throw the cousin out without a word!I don't need some ppl in my life right now so with this am rearranging my rooms so no space!!!! Lol
Delete@ Poster 2, it's still up to you to make your choice. If you can cope with his not "so good English" , if he is willing to learn, and he treats you right, then you can go ahead. Well, Character matters after all.. But please make sure he doesn't have complex issues.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I wouldn't go in. I don't like skin piercing and tertiary level of education is basic for me..
Poster2 pls do away wt him bcx we will cont to see all these flaws wen u eventually settle.But if u love him unconditonally,okd
ReplyDeleteP1... Call him n discuss such with him, then know his reactions towards it. Dats y u guys r in relationship but bear it in mind dat rships isn't supposed to b selfish... If ur guy likes friends around...its because he's still single n friendly...it may not continue... I said may cos ma besties hubby is like dat n still hasn't changed. So just discuss wit him n know his views bout it.
ReplyDeleteP2...Know Wat u want n go for it...if u don't like guys with tattoo n studs...let him know bout it. Besides,u said he's nice n really into you...u better pray for him to continue like dat... Bring him closer to God in case he's not. Mind u...sm guys aren't dat nice d way u described him...so hold him tyt...➕ some baes r looking for such ooo
Wicked poster 1
ReplyDeleteDon't expect people to do what ure doing or did for them.... They'd shock you!!!
ReplyDeletePoster one. You be horrible person. What kind of human being are you ?
ReplyDeleteNo she's not. She's future thinker, lol
DeleteIt's people like u that will insult her and when u get married you ll shut Ur doors.
DeleteBut for now will be entering other people's houses
Hmmmm poster1 you need a brain overhaul. Keep behaving like that and you will end up a lonely, grumpy,sad old woman.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 will you marry a man who is eloquent, with an Msc,who drinks heavily,womanizes and earn just 80k? Me I don't understand how speaking English is now a criteria for marriage these days. If is the tattoo u are scared ur family will see let him cover it up till after the wedding. Don't go and marry a poor man bcoz of English and tattoo ooh. Not unless he doesn't make u happy if not go ahead gal.
Poster two. I know just what you are saying but sorry, can't tell you nothing.
ReplyDeleteposter 1: you carry for body walai, icholu ilagbu nwoke mmadu this one you only wanted both of you not even a siblings.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: Don't end up with that guy. Two of you are not compatible and might be having issues in the future.
If she no lala ya, name her go come lala ya,@anambra and enugu and their igbo eeh, lol
DeletePoster 2: He has studs on, tatoos and is grammatically challenged. However you see him as someone that can be a husband.......i don't know, your concerns should sound superficial....But they are NOT!
ReplyDeletePls address these concerns on both sides. Determine if this misplaced appearance of his is something that is going to be more than a peeve in future... you need to evaluate that so you do not become irritated at him and resentful.
Determine if he is teachable, the reason behind his poor education and if he is interested in going back to school.
Pls, find out his true feelings and reactions here and do not project your feelings on him... that would be self-deceit.
You deserve an equal or better, not a future lowlife who marries you to raise his rep temporarily, only to stunt you later with his insecurities and low self-esteem.
Then can he understand the nature of your profession, the need for constant upgrade, the fact that you will not be always around and still in especially with calls, exams, seminars and more. To many compromises to make here.
Educate him lovingly on the impression his appearance gives and see if you can reach a compromise. Studs on guys are so 2000's, it's outlived his ugly swag abeg. He has to be able to give up such stunted developmental attributes not just to please you,but because it's what is best for him and his reputation and your relationship.
Sister, fact of the matter is YOU ARE SETTLING!!!
Female doctors scream pedigree.......kai you are falling our rep.
This guy is all shades of what you do not represent. He just doesn't fit in. You should not be the one making all the efforts. He should! If need for marriage is not the motivation here, this guy should not even see your back except as a patient. If you have to settle, pls let him be worth the effort in the near future and long term. Or, wait for Mr right. 26 Isn't ancient.....gosh!
Goodluck!
God forbid I have frnds like u poster 1. What nonsense.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: I understand u o....I can't marry sm1 that doesnt speak well. Mixing up tenses up nd down. Mba. Sha who knows...luv conquers all
Poster 1: Standing Ovation to you love.
ReplyDeleteSo you cut off all friendships and even attempted uprooting yourself from your family all because of relationship and/or marriage. Did someone inform you that once you marry, the institution called marriage will go extinct.
So you made all these "sacrifices" and on your way to losing your self-identity and person because of a man.
Now you are mad that he isn't doing same for you.
You are such a child.
I agree your boyfriend is over-doing it. Your temperaments are way different. You seem way too rigid and he, terribly carefree. However, i am focusing on YOU!
You are going into a mrriage...if it will ever happen with this guy... with a huge mills and boons fantasy. The type where you guys fight your feelings and a chance to love each other and finally elope to a deserted island, and forget civilization, and gaze into each other's eyes, make babies and enjoy ROFF happily ever after.
Snap out of fantasy and face reality... especially African reality! It will not happen when your partner is miles apart in that mentality.
You are in this relationship with a terribly impossible expectation. Your boyfriend can NEVER be everything for you and to you....Omniboyfriend don't exist. Other people have roles to play in our lives. Your boyfriend knows that though in an exaggerated form. You do not however. I think you see marriage as the be all and end all. Trust me, people who worked with that ideology are terribly miserable and lonely.
Fix your attitude and expectations first...you need to grow up a bit. Start by re-examining why you ended all your friendships. Do that sincerely, your attitude might be implicated here. You need interactions, not necessarily people. Learn the difference and flow. Build a life outside your relationship....get an identity.
"I happened before We happened". Do not lose I, it is guaranteed, We isn't.
Then pls come to a compromise with your boffy and sincerely assess your hopefully newly adjusted accomodation range. Guage it sincerely pls, if these so much presence drains you in a way that is almost spiritual...pls PORT.
Poster 1 tk a chill pill joor. Use ur head Poster 2 follow ya hrt
ReplyDeleteDearest poster one, please calm down and listen to this advice, my Hubby is exactly your type of Man! this year is 4 years of marriage.¨my House is a Restaurant! im also an introvert as you, at the beginning, i rebelled against this, but no way! infact i did all i could, yet they still trooped in, finally i gave up and stopped giving myself HB, All i did, whenever they comes around i welcomed them happily and offered anything i had. 4 yrs and counting all my hard work has paid off! i had a serious prob with hubby last year that almost broke the marriage! i must admit, i was faulty, it was this same friends and families that settled the issue, they scolded hubby and told him to even apologise to me that was at fault oo. infact i enjoyed the closeness now becos hubby hardly goes out to catch fun, even if he does, we all go together with their wives and girl friends, fiances! moral of the lesson, i now hold it as hubbys mumu button, cos he knows if he makes me angry, i wont cook or entertain them, they all call me MAMA. so please i feel you but dont let this problem overwehlme you ok. and please once you get married NEVER YOU ALLOW ANYBODY INTO YOUR MATRIMONIAL ROOM!! But now you arre still courting, its allowed. cheers
ReplyDeletePOSTER 2: Pls study the guys character, if hes decent and will make a good husband and Dad in future, if so pls CARRY ON! forget about his apperance and language, those ones are minor, and can be corrected in future ok.
Poster 1...opposites attract. Which means that you should take from your husbands strength and work on your flaws and he should take from you and work on his flaws. That is the reason you met. Then again, boundaries should be respected like your sister should not be in your boyfriends bedroom. Poster, you also have to let go all your fears about best-friends or whoever ruining your marriage.
ReplyDeleteYour boyfriend should learn from you and have some boundaries with letting any and any person inside the house. You should learn from your boyfriend by becoming more social and entertain his friends in a genuine accommodating way. Iron sharpeneth iron and that is the reason you met. Don't try to control him out-rightly but subtly like a wise woman make him adjust.
You need to adjust and enjoy friends, he also needs to adjust and keep some friends at arms length.
Do not mind all these women shaming you, they are worse. Some of them don't have single friends, some don't even allow their husbands to go out except to work. Most of them when they go out with their husbands and see a beautiful girl there, they are ready to drag him away from that place. Please , also ignore Stella , has she ever shown her husband on this blog? Have you ever heard a bv chat about how she had tea with Stella and the husband in Germany? Anyone? Most of them hide their husband like treasures.
You are an introvert and he is an extrovert, no one should shame you for who you are, you just need to adjust. Eventually, if you and your boyfriend are not compatible, find someone who is. Not every man likes crowd and too many friends. You would find one. Alright hun.
KING XOXO MYSTERY
1000likes
DeletePoSter2 personally I don't think u shuld concern urself with what ur friends wuld say as long as u love him deep down,and you really need to ask urself what u want,cos e be like say nah de english u wan marry?
ReplyDelete@poster2 ,I hope dis isn't my friend Omol....diamond .I'm gonna use my id,ping asap if u are d one.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, people like you end up being miserable after marriage because you are not even free with yourself. You cut off your friends because you want to get married; you also want your soon to be husband to cut his! My dear poster, you are wicked. You are even worried about your sister being too close to your husband to be, don't you trust your boyfriend? No need of marrying him if you don't trust him.
ReplyDeleteThere are times you just want to go for a coffee or tea with your friends after getting married, there are some times you'll need someone to talk to, a friend will always be there to relate issues to.
Please, don't choke your man all in the name of wanting him all to yourself.
Poster 2, i don't see anything wrong in marrying that guy if he's really nice to you and you love him. I knew a lot of couples back then who the husbands were very rich and wealthy but not so educated nor fluent in English. But the wives always cover up for them, the women never allows anyone to look down on their men just because he can't communicate with good English. Some even stand in for their husbands when is time to make speeches at occasions.
You should care about your happiness. I wish you the best though.
Poster1: i see you as a selfish, self-centred and all the rest bad kind of person. You have a black heart though you re quiet but you re wicked and poisonous and you will sting your partner if he eventually married you. he will begin to cheat because you will chase his friends and he will go out to meet them and they will introduce a better chick to him. Learn and pray to accommodate people. Your parents are not accommodating must you follow their foot steps NO? WATCH IT . You deserve your kind of dark heart spouse who is not accommodating. i pray you will not lose the guy as a result of your stinking attitude.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, please don't settle for less else you will hate him after awhile, money is not everything. If the educational gap is too wide most especially if the woman is more educated there will always be problem in the future because every little thing you do or say will portray you as being arrogant. Also you don't want to be with someone you won't be proud off
ReplyDeleteP1, u are selfish and at dsame time sound insecure. P2, talk to him about hw u feel seeing him with tatoo, as for his english, u can help him improve. I knw a medical doctor dat got married to some1 who also is not fluent in english, but 2day, dia is much improvement.
ReplyDeletePoster 1,thats man isn't married to you yet. Hence it's still his house so he can do as he deems fit. When you both finally gets married that's if it's happens, you can then start telling him how they house should be.. You don't have a say now in his life madam..
ReplyDeleteGo and get a life of your own. Keep up with your attitude and you wouldn't even marry him by next year as he will run away from you.. What privacy are you talking about when it's still his house and you are just the girl friend? Don't you have your own house??
Poster 1 you need to slow down well well, there should be boundaries I agree but if you go by how you wrote your post you won't be fair. It's very important that you make yourself trust your hubby totally. I believe the frequency of friends will reduce with time, he works I believe. You can tell him you want Sundays to be your family outing or private moments, hear his take on that. Friends coming around on Saturdays or you both visiting friends or hanging out with friends on Saturdays isn't too much. If after you are married they are entering your master room anyhow, use the lock, they will get the message. No friend (his or mine) has ever entered my bedroom since marrying, I won't like that myself, I remember going into my elder sisters master bedroom while living with them, I go there to discuss with her hubby or help around there unless your sister is evil and you know it
ReplyDeletePlease how do I open blog ID? Thanks anyone
ReplyDeletePoster 2 if I were you I would take it upon myself to dig out some facts about the guy, truth is not because of the tattoo or studs but for me it's better to gather info on him than find out when you are married. Also, pray for God to chase him from you if he is a devil in man skin, this prayer worked for me when I was single. Sometimes it's painful when a guy we both share good feelings suddenly stops keeping in touch but i thank God for how He spared me the disaster. One guy after he suddenly disappears saw me at the bank & just passed like a total stranger. I felt so bad (never gbenshed him o) that I started talking about him to all the city guys that could know him, only for me to find out he's been using ladies for his rituals. All the best
ReplyDeletePoster 1 let me tell you a true life story, I have a relative with the same kind of attitude as you. Her husband was very accommodating but she managed to chase everybody away from him, including his friends and family. It was just her, her husband and their kids. When the kids grew old they all settled abroad, leaving just the woman and her husband. The husband died last year, she is now a lonely old woman who has nobody to call to help her to even buy something across the road. She now begs (scratch that.... Pays) people to come and visit her because of her selfish nature. Believe it or not, you need friends around you. If you feel you don't need friends, your man needs his friends. It's not just about you alone. You are a very selfish person. Fix yourself
ReplyDeletePoster 2... I don't know what to say to you... Tattoos and earrings are my spec in a guy so my advice to you will be biased.... Sorry
I don't like it when a guy starts dating a girl and then cuts off all his friends. We had a classmate who was really jovial. When he started dating another classmate, he became tied to her, sitting together all the time, quiet, gisting only with her, driving past you and not picking you up along the way like he used to do. We accepted it that way. As for tattoo guy and doctor, it will take the whole world for you not to be ashamed of the guy; just try to gist your mom or your sister your fears/embarrassment about the guy. You will be better for it.
ReplyDelete