Hmmmm.....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE...
WHEN IN LAWS DEPEND ON LE BOO'S TAKE HOME PAY
Good day Stella and my BVN. May God continue to bless the works of
your hands-AMEN! Let me just go straight to my chronicles.
Am some months old in my marriage and pregnant,almost due by God's
grace. My main problem is my husband's family,though my husband
is cool,calm,easy going,God fearing and I pray it goes on that way-AMEN.
He's not the last nor the first born but out of 9children that the
parents have,he's the only one with a job(salary not up to
100,000naira).
He's the only one taking care of his mother which I like because I'll also become a mother one day but the problem now is that all the younger and even the senior siblings including their children are on my husbands head for money!
The irony here is that my husband has been taking care of them before he got married,he got married at his early forties,the eldest sibling is almost 60yrs while the last sibling is 3yrs less than 40yrs,while some of the children of his
siblings are married.Am not working now because of change of location
and am happy that am not working now because when I start working or business,I will never have a joint account with him again and it'll help me know how to help him(in terms of spending my money with him).
Am not happy at all because we lack so many things at home which we intend buying like washing machine,fridge,gas cooker,car,buying of
land etc as the years go by(in which I want to join money with him to
buy land now from my savings before marriage because I worked for some
years before the contract ended). My
husband will be telling me to manage of which I do.He gives me #4000/month
(I save out of it) for my upkeep and he pays for everything I
need.
I told him to tell his family that he's married and managing but
he's telling me that its good to help that if they don't have he has
to help but I asked him how long this will continue. I told him we have to be saving for children's school fees and for the future because he married late and he won't work forever,though I pray for his family because in my own family,I
mean my siblings,we never depend on each other
and my mum collects pension(not boasting,but have to come out because I need good,matured advice).
I have already decided to augment the money he gives me when I go to the market after delivery of which I'll have to be saving out of it,maybe because I manage with him too much,he still sees himself as a money man because I want us to get things done fast but now am having a change of mind. Not long
after our marriage,like two months@least he's has given to his younger
ones,elder ones,niece's school fees and even cousin have asked from
him.
Please,I really need how to handle this maturely because its
the mother of my husband that the siblings use in talking to my
husband for money. Is it that they are not happy he's about to start
his family? What do I do because I don't want to have high bp in this my
late pregnancy. I was so distraught this morning and he said he shouldn't have told me.
Should I tell a third party(which he so much dislikes). Please,help a sister
out. Funny enough,before I married him,God told me he's my husband
like many times,God is my witness.I never rushed into marriage(infact,I
married in my thirties) because God told me some people aren't
my husband then even though the guy was a banker. I don't want the family to be thinking that since he married me,he doesn't give to them again.
Baby things are expensive and he's trying in that aspect because we are buying little by little though we are yet to buy everything. Out of all the guys have dated,its only my husband God told me to marry.
So what the hell is going on????????????? I don't even know maybe I should join money with him again to buy the land sef.
Am being sincere in all I wrote but I need sincere,good and matured advice because I want us to sit down and
discuss this issue together and I don't want to hurt him.
Thanks to you all for your time and advice!
*Abeg make i read today.I still dey recover from Yesterday advice when i give,you get?LOL..I be like who FIGHT with boxer.
Sounds like u regret marrying your husband, go and ask God again if he spoke clearly. #peace.
ReplyDeletePoster keep calm. As for the land u plan buying together save ur money n wen u hv enough u can buy the land in ur own name or ur child's, reasonto being that if u n ur hubby buy it together n anything happens to him(Godforbid)the family will claim the land as their son's own n there isnt a thing u can do abt it. The household items u want to buy, buy them for ur own comfort bcos wen ur child comes things might get tougher. Abeg hv only the amount of kids u cn bear without breaking too much sweat training them. Never tell ur hubby the amount u hv savedme cos if u do, he will jst face his family n forget abt the one u built together believing that u cn takia of that ursef. Talk to him about this n if he doesnt change im afraid there isnt a thing u can do abt it than live with it afterall he is the man God choose for u. Take this thing in levity,dont allow it disturb u too much so u will not be the cause of prob btwhim n his family. My 2cents
DeleteGod does not make mistake madam. The question should be if she heard clearly not if He spoke clearly.
DeleteStella kork keeping putting my comment inside ur nose.i wonder why it's a blog when someone cannot freely give a piece of thier mind but d owner of d blog is always ready to write a memo anytime. Continue eating my comments this one should not be an exception too na u go tire. I ain't gonna lick ur ass.When u are right I say so when u are wrong I say.Just know that ur red ink this days are appalling!
DeleteEndure
DeleteStella I follow u celibate on commenting today
DeleteBut I will laugh at people's comments tho😂
Don't bother yourself,once the baby comes,he will buy food,diapers,wipes and so on.
DeleteAnd when you want to talk to him about it,don't be shouting and don't show anger,little by little he will adjust.
He is soft that's why they are taking advantage of him.
Ps- I hate it when people use the word,"i so much hate,so much love,so much this and that.
BB abeg let me perch here and talk to poster in anonymous mode. Poster I really understand where you are coming from but your husband may not. It usually take time before ppl like him get to grips. He has a good heart and the family has seen it. He may think they love him and so he has to give them all he has. The day he decide to look after his immediate family he will realise that they never loved him. He is lucky he got married.
DeleteI am matured now and over ripe for marriage. I'm the youngest but the luckiest. I gave my all to my family and put them first in everything and these cost me relationships as they are always opposed whenever I bring a man home to introduce. My bfs always leave without explanation.some are even open to say I should look after myself more but I never took the hint. When I had a good think and decided to do things for myself, almost everybody turned against me except for a few who sincerely love me. I feel alone cos I find it hard to start new relationships now. You need to take drastic action,be blunt with your husband. I can see you are a good person but dt will not take you anywhere. Put yourself first and be a bit selfish in this matter so you can enjoy being a married woman but mind you, the in laws will come at you daggers drawn.
Damn poster . I feel a lot of pity for you . Stella tho , lmao . You do need the bashings to reset ur thought process
DeleteI don't think so
DeleteMadam poster pls let's hear word biko!
DeleteHow can u close your eyes during courtship and decide to open it now while married?!
You know this man o! You know his ways! He did not hide all these from you.. nw you're complaining.
Do you know that if he stops now, his family will join force and fight you?! Even him wey believe in 'giving' self no go dey fulfilled.
Please pray to God to bless your husband more and do all you can to get a source of income too you hia.
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteWisdom my dear wisdom, the way to go about it is let him see you calm when he talks bringing money for d inlaws, allowing him give it will tell on him real soon nobody will advice him to stop.When baby is born n u keep demanding diapers, food. Clothes, shoes etc he will minimise his giving n find new ways to make money
ReplyDeleteIt's always the woman who should apply wisdom Abi?
DeleteThank for letting us know that men are meant to be foolish and we should think for them. Mscheew!! The man himself can't plan for HIS own future? Abeg shift
1000 likes for this ur comment.
DeleteMy dear some men are like that,mine own hubby is d same,he married @ early 40, and still gives to his parents everything even when they get huge amount to other siblings they still collect his widows mite,@ 40 no land,no investment have not even started having kids,and yet they will not let him be
DeleteThis is very serious, I mean very very serious. I think it's high time your husband let his family know that he's now married and have some responsibilities to cater for. This is what the Yorubas call 'Olowo kan laarin otosi pupo'. Abeg see translation
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
Reminds me of my Dad.
DeleteWhen his friends were strategizing to send their kids to Harvard and Stanford, he was busy training siblings and relatives and their kids. 'It's good to help'. When alarm blow, we no see all those people again. Even his own siblings deserted him and some even abused him and called him names. Till today I can't forgive one of my Aunties who sold my dads house and pocketed the money because she felt he had more than enough. Yet I schooled in that same Calabar, and I was paying rents. She was living in a 7 bedroom mansion and never offered me a room. Yet you sold my dads 5 bedroom house in that same town and pocketed the money. Telling him stories. My mum being good and patient wife was keeping quiet. Now she wished she didn't.
Poster I don't know about you, but me I can't take this rubbish. When those his family members have made it they won't remember all this one he's done oh! They will look him in the eye and ask him what he did for them. Did u marry me to come and suffer? What rubbish!!
I've said it countless times that id rather be a wicked wife for the benefit of my children, than be a 'good' wife and have my children ask me questions in future about where all their fathers wealth went.
It took my dad over 15 years to recover, but it's not even like before. Now all I hear is 'had I known'. Better fight now and be called a bad names by his family members, so that u can settle yourselves. Me I can't take it one bit. Won't even venture into marrying someone with such responsibilities with what I've seen in my house.
Before u married him you would have asked him to settle them, maybe set up a business through which they can hustle and grow on their own and leave him and his alone. Them don see mugu!! Milking him dry until he married at 40 something. With mere 100k. Poverty mentality family. Na 100k be big money for them. Madam you really enter one chance!!!
DeleteChikito, you must always open ur family secret on blogs, fool.
DeleteAm not the poster but I must say thank you Chikito for sharing. Sometimes it's good to have some drama as a wife. Not to fight your husband but use the God given wisdom to save and secure your children's future(talk some sense into your husband).we are already saving separately for our kids, (if his family needs arise he should take from his own money and not the kids savings else I go spark)my kids won't suffer tomorrow God forbid. Very important.
DeletePoster,but you knew he was the breadwinner before you married him...
ReplyDeleteGod told you he is your husband my ass!...
Ngwanu!...e don set!..
Ask God how to handle this....
You better carry it oh cos it's your cross!...if you are tired,divorce him!...
I was expecting u to ask why she married a broke ass.. hoihoihoihoihoi
DeleteLmao
DeleteOya bring it on😂
Oluwa get involve into this matter and sort every one involve in it.#sayaprayerformyfamily.
ReplyDeleteMadam poster, sorry oh
DeleteThat's what happens when u join forces with a slow poke.... Others are boarding flight or speed trains, you entered keke.... Keke wey carry load join, he'd stop to chNge tyre 5times, his small tank will make him enter filling station 3times b4 he reach house, he'd stop n be sesrched by police... Chai, its better u were even single than this yeye marriage.
@anon 17:31 you are so funny,keke wey carry loads my dear na one chance be thst o,poverty dey stare you korokoro for face ghan,@ poster I pity your situation and the unborn innocent children you will bring to join you suffer
DeleteHow did God tell u to marry him? I'm very curious
ReplyDeleteAs in ee!! I want to know o
DeleteLmao
Delete😂😂😂😂😂
Uve asked a very good question, @ poster, how did you know it was from God, for all I know Devil himself speaks. Your husbands people are just leeches that will suck him dry till he bleeds no more. Don't think it's gonna stop after your baby is born...it wont.
DeleteYou saw the signs before marriage and you thought you could cope with it...
Madam did you want him to turn his back against his family members?
ReplyDeletejames. Its not funny.. So gerarahere
DeleteWhat sort of English is this?
DeleteUna go see all before getting to it, and wen it's started unah no go shame to send chronicle to Stella,dont u want him to take care if his siblings again? Why didn't u stop him before u get to his house,abeg madam do whatever pleases u and take ur bad name straight😠😠😠😠😠ðŸ˜
ReplyDeleteMumu
DeleteLol @ bad name😂😂😂
DeleteThere's nothing wrong in giving but giving at your own detriment is something else. You need the wisdom of God to handle this, cos you can't stop him from helping his people but he has to save for his own immediate family. Sit him down and talk to him, goodluck!
ReplyDeleteHmmnmn
ReplyDeleteI don't have any advice today. Sorry dear, God is your strength. But try and get a job first, It's important.
Yess,get a job,while he is giving out,you will be saving for both of you
DeleteIt's not a bad idea buying land with your husband but mind you for future proposes, the name on the land certificate should be in you and your husband's name. Then that depending on him, I feel for them as well but I got your point as well, because if he don't start saving or let me say saving enough for his future, when will he start up. My advice to you its to sit him down again if you have done that before and make him see reasons with you so he can stop it. Because time waits for no one. But not just stop helping out totally with he should be trading with caution. white berry. Can't comment with my id don't know what's going on.
ReplyDeleteHmmm,poster pray to God for him to bless your husband more...as long as he is providing for you no problem...see,if he shld stop now the whole family will dislike you and put the blame on you.....after giving birth try to start something.You are lucky you get something for upkeep.I don't get any but he buys everything we need in the house.Handle this with wisdom and don't create problem for yourself. marring some1 God chose for you does nt mean you wnt face challenges...the only thing is that it won't be something beyond you....God told me DH is mine b4 we got married bt it doesn't mean it's going to be all roses @ all times, we do have misunderstanding and we sort things out.I wish you safee delivery in advance
ReplyDeleteChai madam, this is what they say in parable, a one eye king leading the blind in the country. See what you have entered. Your husband is not going to back down from helping his people. Once he stops, the problem will be on your head. That 4,000 monthly na for recharge cards or what. Dont tell me it is for housekeeping. Na POVERTY LEVEL BE THAT OO.
ReplyDeleteBring your own list make the equation BALANCE
THIS NA POVERTY HOME YOU ENTER.
LMAO.loveme jeje u r sooooo funny.comment on point 4,000 for recharge card.dts mney for meat n soup tins for one week.
DeleteShut up ...anumanu unam ikot. ...u no hear say na 100k salary the man dey get,and im go give am 4k out of it, u na dey here dey yarn dust?! Abeg go front, miss meat money for 1 week...efi nama
Deletei have always and will always say it, a man cannot stop helping his family, but when he put his extended family needs first before his nuclear family there is bound to be problems. sit him down and make him understand the need to save for a rainy day, certain percent of his salary should be saved for the future, another percent for the family needs, then the rest to his overgrown lazy ass siblings. cant believe grown up men will be lazying about and waiting to be taken care of.
ReplyDeleteNa almost same problem I dey face o...though my husband is the eldest & all.his siblings depen on him for almost everything o...even when they hustle & earn some cash, they won't contribute a dime for food sef...I'm not complaining right now but its really weighing me down, datz y I want to start hustling too o, if not we no go reach anywhere for this our lifetime journey o.
ReplyDeleteChai Stella is afraid of blog visitors. Kai you no want their bad mouth. I read how them want to finish you as if you are causer of their problems.
ReplyDeleteHaaaaaaa
DeleteYes oooo
Lmao😂
That's because her advice get k-leg
DeleteU mean u don't ve common gas and fridge in ur house, what do u cook with and where do u store ur food, this is unbelievable, since God told u to marry a man whose salary is less than 100k, and shoulders the responsibility's of his family, while not go bk to God for solution,u left men who are financially ok with less responsibility for a man who carries his family burden, sometimes love is not enough to make a happy home.
ReplyDeleteStella pls don't beat yourself up for yesterday's comment
ReplyDeleteI believe you gave the right advice
If the lady did the right thing why did she come here seeking for advice abeg make that matter rest and goodluck to her, by the way I no see my comment yesterday o
Now to today's chronicle
Hmmn, I'm still wondering how u cope with 4k a month o
My advice
Save very well and start something
It is well
Abii ooo
DeleteBut yesterday's chronicle is the most fight filled chronicle
God bless the poster...I learn and imagined a lot!
There are different forms of challenges in every marriage, regardless of whoever matched you two.. Since your husband has decided to run a charity organisation, the ants will keep crawling to the sugar, you can keep talking/advising him or you come up with an evil plan to also milk the cow *whispering*.... there must be a new checkup or xpensive drug needed for the unborn baby, or hospital gizmo that needs payment.....winks* Till you get urself a job & do ur savings privately.
ReplyDelete#Stannis Baratheon:It is customary to kneel when surrendering to a King.
Mance Rayder: We do not kneel.
Stannis Baratheon:I'll have thousands of ur men in chains by nightfall, i have nothing to feed them & nowhere to put them. I'm not here to slaughter beat dogs, their fate depends on their King.
Mance Rayder:All the same, we do not kneel.
#Lord Varys: You have your father's instincts for politics and you have compassion.
DeleteTyrion Lannister: Compassion. Yes. I killed my lover with my bare hands and I shot my own father with a crossbow.
Lord Varys: I never said you were perfect...
Beautiful lines.
Delete@athiest and @cissy...this is the part I look forward to in chronicles of BVs...this game of throne word play...lol
DeleteOMG!!! I couldn't finish reading this.Did you say your husband is in his forties,earns less than 100k,no car,no property,and a baby on the way.You're not working therefore not earning any income,ALL his siblings are not working either and they all depend on him? Jeez!!! I'm all for helping a man build,but this is living in abject poverty!! I can't knowingly walk into this kinda mess with my eyes wide open...I JUST CAN't!! You have a baby on the way,he gives you 4kper month and you still manage to save,how do you do it? How do you take care of your personal needs? So many questions running through my head...I really can't deal mehn!!
ReplyDeleteI believe she has done all those analysis herself and doesn't need you to come here blabbing. If you cant give an advice(reasonable or not) then better keep shut. *All these broke ass girls that come up here to form wealthy people.
DeleteAnon....you are very foolish.Idiotic son of a gun.Why come under my comment to spill rubbish?Are you mad? See this wrong turn o.Ezi ofia!!! Disgusting,silly twerp.
DeletePoster talk to your husband nd pour out your heart..which one is d whole family is depending on not up to 100k? I don gerrit! Can't dey work or wat..please talk to your husband nd tell him he has to choose between u nd his family..by d tym u gve birth nd start buying stuffs he go understand...i no jst dey understand some men..he should not throw his family away buh he has a responsibility now nd he will be a father soon..if something happens to his job now all dem beggars go disappear nd still be doing well sef so pls tell him u have had enough dat if he no wan stop am u will leave dat marriage for him..
ReplyDeleteYou married the star of the family who lacks a sense of priority. Madam, it is too late to do anything. Besides, your hubby is in his 40's...too set in his ways. The manner you described him...he feels obligated to them.
ReplyDeleteSee, all you can do is fight for a higher allowance. Stop forming managing wife, maximising like church rat. If you do not tax him, the money will go to others. This type is destined for average..scrap that...below average life. Good thing is, you do not have to live like this.
Tax him well, your baby can serve as an excuse, save like it's going out of fashion. Hustle to get a job or start up a business..when you do sha, prepare to be the breadwinner. Because, he will hands off you, hide his money and continue his father christmas work. Pls, do not give birth to many children......birth as much as you can handle ALONE. You only married a nominal husband, in his heart, his siblings are his real family not you and baby. Your hubby has severe poverty mentality (i bet the type that ties soap and keeps in his bag in his single days) and lacks ambition....don't wait for him, you will be always pulled back.
This type will need to go seriously broke and abandoned by all to even learn small. I bet he hardly has savings. Manage, this is your marriage. Strategize properly when the job comes. Save and invest in your name. He probably, will name his brothers as next of kin. This battle is one you can't win no matter how diplomatic you are. You will become family enemy....That is who your hubby is. You cant change him.
May God help you with a job soon.
Do not rule out the role of prayer.
Empress I quite agree with u on some points u made. Madam poster task ur husband more and save the money for ur kids or other miscellaneous needed in the house.
DeleteMy huby was like that but his siblings are working now so he is stuck fending for his parents. I am happy he is doing so.
U don't hv an evil intent but ur husband is too myopic to see reasons with u. I think u need to focus on birthing ur child safely. After that get something doing. Use the money wisely. Because it will be really difficult to mk ur husband see things differently now as the marriage is still early.
Focus on having a safe delivery first then talk to ur husband gradually but respectfully about ur concerns. Especially for the fact that u need stuff at home abeg.
Good luck
That pic of Charles inogie looks like Stella.
ReplyDeletePoster dey joor
ReplyDeleteImagine if he was your brother will u be sayin all these
Pray to God to direct u since He 1st showed u
Also watch war room*ok bye*
Also drink one cup of coconut oil every day for the next 2 months
DeleteLmao @ anon 20: 38, uve just made my day hahahahaha
DeleteWatch War Room, watch War room...whatz the correlation between War room and what she is going through now. Poster u don't need any foreign movie now, watch 'PERILOUS TIMES 1 & 2' by Mount Zion movie...
My dear poster, go to God in prayers. Since he told you to marry this man, he's the right person to take this matter to. Remind him he lead you into the marriage and then ask him to lead you out of the mess.
ReplyDeleteDon't even try joining any money with him.When the family sees you people are doing things together they will feel the money is there or If at all you want to join with him,make sure your name is on it too and monitor everything like your life depend on it.Some in-laws are just something else. Mine was like that too,I tried all I could but he didn't change not until we started having kids and with prayer.Now he only do for them when they house is super OK. God will give you the wisdom to handle it.
ReplyDeletePoster there is really nothing u can do because it has been happening before u entered. This is exactly wat happens in my family. Same story.But at least my dad is well to do. D amount of money that leaves our house monthly eh. But if we talk he 'll say u don't want him to help his ppl. Wen he is hooked, only him 'll complain to us and find our mouth. They 'll now say my mother is eating his money. Before wen he complains we used to advice him and be like daddy they 're scamming u, they really don't need bla bla bla. He 'll say that's true o. Before u kno bam!!! One relative go call say bros I don see d money. Right now na look we dey. At least he takes care of my siblings and I.
ReplyDeleteAwww... you need to get something doing to support him. There is great joy/ blessing in giving but charity begins at home and your husband's primary responsibilities are you, your unborn kid and his mum.
ReplyDeleteI pray that God grants you the wisdom to go through this and may you be successful In Jesus name.
Primary responsibilities including his MUM???? I can't believe what I reading. Please do you know know the part of the Bible where it is said the man will leave his mother and father???? Abeg o, talk better!
Deleteposter am sure you saw the signs before you guys decided to marry, just use wisdom and never you join money to buy things with him, am sure he will keep withdrawing from your joint account to solve issues.
ReplyDeleteYou are not contributing financially to the family so what's your business who he gives his money? Before marrying him, you knew his entire generation depend on him. Since you didn't complain then, why now? Get a job first and start making and saving your own money. If he likes, let him spend all his money on his ancestors as long as you are making your own money and he is providing for the home, no wahala.
ReplyDeleteCommon sense not common.Pls Nzuzu as ur name implies, learn how to save, life isn't all abt bag and shoes.
DeleteWho is this animal under my comment? If you need bag and shoes, drop your contact let me send some to you.
DeleteVery brainless, idiotic and moronic advice.
DeleteHa! Do you even have the slightest idea of what marriage is all about? Jeez
My dear double the expenses at home and save from the money, make sure he gives you first before his family
ReplyDeleteI am sure by the time he must have settled your bills and that of the house,he wont have enough to give and will be forced to reduce the rate at which he gives.
No comment for today, am here to read from others
ReplyDeletePlease someone should give me the email stella recieves chronicles on....i want to send mine
ReplyDeleteMy sister, there is nothing really you can do now, all u need to do is to keep praying for God to bless your husband more, because there is nothing u can say to him that will stop him from helping his family. It means he is doing it with a sincere heart, and God loves a cheerful giver, so pray for him, u will see God will increase him financially. Someone that takes care of other people's need will surely take care of his baby's needs, just be patient with him, you are just few months into the marriage, it will only get better. By the time you put to bed and start working you will have your personal savings and investments. You also said your family is doing fine, they can assist you in buying a gas cooker and a fridge. If your husband can assist his own sibling, yours too should do the same. It's just a matter of time.
ReplyDeleteMadame you don't need to sit him down, by the time you put to bed with much expenses on him nobody go tell am to adjust then and make sure you don't pity him on money aspect, wish you safe delivery.
ReplyDeleteMy problem is not even the giving aspect, it's d fact that hes pay ain't dat high sef...poster in order to limit the money he sends home, I tink u should demand more dan ure used to ND buy stuffs for D house by the tym he sees wat ure doing he's sense will cm to a default...Bur DNt regret ur marriage...
ReplyDeleteWell what can say again. Trade carefully
ReplyDeleteMay the Lord fix it. Pls u too be very demanding, if he has little left, he will know ow to sort the family out.
ReplyDeleteI am depressed. So so depressed. I had promised to be celibate because premarital sex weighs me down and kills me emotionally even when i am doing it with a supposed boyfriend. Yesterday was my birthday and i ended up having sex with someone i was running away from. I take the blame for it.But how do i forgive myself and move on? I have lost concentration and i am sad. No appetite to eat. How do i get myself back? I need advice please
ReplyDeleteGo and make him lick ur pussy, if posdible anus too but no penetration... You'd feel worshiped
DeletePRAY!!!! Tell God to please forgive u..it's never easy..as long as u're not a Virgin being celibate is over hard..but u can do it..fast nd pray nd turn to God full tym..he can do it
DeleteWe are both in same boat @anon16:48
DeleteWhenever I collect now I just go straight into depression! I call it holyghost torture.. as two opposing forces can't live in one body..
But the more I fill myself wt the holy spirit, the easier..
By the way, dont be caught in private places with guys.. 'ur house, ur room, his house, his room, hotel rooms, etc'
That's like d only way IMO
Madam na lie which God tell u say na ur husband so all dis one wey u write no lie inside abi hmmmmmm just some mth old marriage you're already writhing chronic God help don't fix ur home be typin chronic till ur marriage scartter so he should forget his family bcos of u, am married my husband still takes care of his family na ur type my broda marry wey no alow send to my mom. Ole wicked wife be hiding under God's name
ReplyDeleteGod forbid that i'll have children as investments. You re bringing a child to this world not to depend on them. I mean it's okay to give ur parents gifts and all, not like without u dey can't eat. Save for raining days pple will not hear. Always depending on pple. If ur mom had saved for old age she for no hungry. As for ur husband, if he amounts to nothing later on in life, pls don't blame any1 but ursef. U don't just put tyre on a growing tree and expect it to boom. Too much load on a man keeps him on d average.. Thank God for my life. You owe no one nothing that's what my parents taught us. And I have wonderful inlaws that don't even need one kobo from hubby and I, we give them gifts at our own discretions.. give birth to kids you can take care of, some will give birth to 10, and train only one and expected that one to pause his/her life for the remaining nine.. Pls give all ur kids same education and all.. p.s she is not a wicked wife, she is a wise woman.
DeletePoster uv entered this one.
ReplyDeletepls go and get a job atleast to add to d income coming in, if not u will bring in kids to d world to suffer.
Leave him to pay d rent,school fees etc. But takecare of ur kids needs.
When your husband gets broke,he's family will turn their back on him,when you buy the land together and build the house his siblings will move in to the house,just set your self up and forget about joining any money with him now,empower your self and when your business start yielding enough profit you can come together to buy whatever you want,don't stop talking to him about saving for the future cos I tell you the day he goes broke,you will be his only asset if he doesn't invest now.
ReplyDeleteYou talk true jare....
DeleteThey'd all move in like chibok girls in sambisa forest, eating free food and showing the best of their parasite lives..
Her suffer just start.
Thank God you're saving but you still need to talk to him on the need to start saving for tomorrow. After giving birth look for a job and do not form "MRs INdependent." Keep praying for him and do not nag over this. Collect what you can collect and keep saving as per your child.
ReplyDeleteWell poster, there's nothing you can do now, if you don't handle it with care, this will turn into cold war.
ReplyDeleteRaise your monthly allowance to get more money, start up something as soon as you birth your child. Families like that are bad news, you know why? The moment your hubby stops giving or lacks, the so called siblings will not even look his direction. So my dear use wisdom, real wisdom, keep talking to him, don't fight a whole family because you can't win.
you may crashland with him o, please call him to order asap. in these days and time no savings, no land, no kids education funds yet he gives other pples kids??? you are done for! i know some women their husbands are "rich" but the wives are poor! gush. i hate men like this. omeniora!! rubbish. if e die now u go suffer wella cos nothing was put to secure his kids future. ode husband
ReplyDeleteLady, my mum told me when I was getting married "that which you agree to do(to mange) you will continue to manage (your cross)." In her own experience, my father will bring only N5,000 for food in a month. Meanwhile, he could afford much much more than that. My mum never had savings. Thank God she earned well. She spends all she has on the family. The bitter thing is that when you agree to manage with the man, after one or two years and you complain and want him to start contributing, it will become a problem. He will vehemently refuse. I know several people that have fallen for this trap. That is when you will understand what did to yourself. You don enter one chance be that.
ReplyDeleteMy advice, this is a good time (in your pregnancy state) to put a stop to those things which you do not accept. It is not a matter to fight or quarrel over. Just use your femininity to get your message across to your husband: fake complain, fake cry, fake being sick, fake hbp, fake etc... By the time he sees you suffer, it will change his heart. No need for long long talk.
His immediately family: you and your children are priority!
You are a good woman, I will support you using your money to help him, but first, perform your wonders to get his eyes away from his family and on you! Then you can plan your family together. Best of luck, ask God for the grace to change his heart too!!!
Talk to ur husband bcos he has neglected the first thing everyone must consider b4 helping. "if you desire to help anyone, do so in a way that will not bring that person's burden upon yourself"
ReplyDeletePoster, believe me when I say...I FEEL YOU.
ReplyDeleteThis did not just start today?.. you ad known a long time before you got married right? But you did not sense it will go on and on.
My advice to you is this, tread this road softly so you will not fall. You cannot stop your husband from helping his family but trust me when you begin to bear his kids, his priorities will change. Do not get yourself worked up over this. in the meantime, get yourself a job or better still, a small business to do...do not lean on your husband for everything, you should lay your hands on something to do too.
Bet how do you manage 4k?! in a month!? you say...wow!
by the way...kizzez to you Stella toh pepper like suya 1500..
my dear not like am selfish oh, but i dont see myself having a joint account with DH cos I dont want issues at all. as a woman just save! save!! save!!! that's all I can say. Please follow advise that suits you and try to get something doing no matter how small, Please
ReplyDeleteDat awesome gal how you dey. I dont think so that it is for one week soup tins for this change buhari gave people.
ReplyDeleteThe woman should go and look for something to do if not oyo is her name
Hmmmmm
ReplyDeletelol...cissy I think you are the one who does not understand the movie war room...the movie is all about warring in prayer for any situation you are going through...poster should pray about the situation and ;let God take over...meanwhile let him know ha has to take care of his future and stop allowing family leech on him.....only a fool who did not read this story well will say she doesn't want her husband to help his people....how can one man be taking care of a whole family plus their children? poster omnce u start working save plenty of your money and make sure he spends on the house well....let him do all for your child, force him to buy land and start building....he will thank you later
ReplyDeletenzube you are a very stupid woman who talks rubbish most times...so will a married man not be 4expected to now focus more on his immediate family? am sure u are the one feeding your husband...irritating bush rat like you
4K or 40k???? Per month???
ReplyDelete