Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative..

Na wah!!!..what is this?How dare you turn a man into a woman?

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

ENGAGED TO A BROKE ASS MAN

Hi Stella,

I can't believe I'm typing this,  reason being that I believe I am so intelligent but when matters of the heart is involved, your brain suffers deficit.

It's a long story but I'd try to be as brief as possible.

I met the guy I'm now engaged to about 5years ago. I was rounding up in the university then, and met him in my bestie's room (another university in my home base). I was on a short holiday and decided to come home. 

We met and clicked immediately, exactly two weeks later, he asked me to be his girl and I accepted. I loved the fact that he categorically went on one knee and asked me to be his girlfriend. I was 23 years while he was 27. Two weeks later, I went back to finish up and we spoke everyday until I graduated and returned to my State of origin, where I met him.

It's been 5 years plus and things haven't really improved. When I met him, he had nothing. No house, no job, no car, no certificate (he has issues with school and is still sorting it out till date - I'm a witness), so I always came through for him. I was still a student though but I'd always share pocket money into two and send him recharge units. I wasn't stingy with him at all. 

Thankfully, after graduation even before service I got a fifty thousand naira pay job, I was ok with it even though I hoped for more while he was still trying to meet up. No work still! 

Then after a year, a friend hooked him up and he got to manage a spa/salon/gym, I was the happiest girl, even though his pay was 65k. By then, i was 25  and he 29. I knew we both had to do better. I left for NYSC in a nearby state and was coming home every weekend, of course to be with him, he attached himself to that his friend as a flat mate, so at least accommodation seemed sorted out or so. 

I was half way into finishing NYSC before he got laid off, for one or two reasons. Since 2014 till date, it's been tough. I'm now an entrepreneur and my business will officially be 2 yrs soon and I have been trying to carry him along but it's not been easy. I'm now 28 and he 32. We got engaged last year (I gave him about 100 thousand naira to help sort himself out and probably invest in anything to help himself because i was tired of buying toiletries and recharge card),  it's part of that money he used to buy my 14 carat white gold engagement ring!!! 

The truth is, we pray everyday even when we are not together, he calls on the phone to say good morning and we pray. We ask God to open doors and bless the works of our hands but my dear,  I don't know how long I will continue to hold on.  I feel like I may have contributed to this ordeal maybe, when I was giving him little money and buying stuff but I had no choice. This is a man I truly love and want to be with. I didn't know 5years ago that we would still be here, no job( because he still hasn't sorted out the certificate ish), no accommodation ( he's still squatting) and no car (he drives mine when he has to). 

We are meant to be getting married this year but I don't how that will happen without me probably footing all the bills.
I know human beings come like "okrika" bags (different items in different sizes),  and no one has it all but I feel like my case is worst. I can't leave him now not because I feel pity for him but because we have built our worlds around each other, my fear and question is "How long???" How long can a woman be patient? 

Ps: He's tall, dark and handsome.  A Christian but broke as hell.

This is actually one of my best kept secrets as my friends or family don't know the situation of things, they think the house he's in is his and he does little businesses. I try to cover up for him a lot, like pay his committee of friends fee when his friends are getting married, give my mum money saying its from him, send his brother in school maybe  five thousand naira.

We've had issues within these years as a result of finance but he keeps telling and begging me for more time, saying he's not a lazy person and there is just no opportunity. He has tried a couple of things that never worked out. Sometimes, he strikes some deals and comes back with 10/15 thousand naira which goes up in 2seconds because he will immediately give me like 5k, then send 5k home and use 5k. He's the 1st of 3 boys, a retired dad and a civil servant mum. 

My story may seem disorganised but please, forgive me as I slip in and out of depression with a newly discovered 8weeks pregnancy. I read chronicles daily and I never really judge because I'm wearing similar shoes. 

How do I cope with a wedding on the way, bun in the oven and a jobless and homeless man? I even feel for him a lot of times because he says life has been unfair. I hear tales of couples who have now made it with really rough beginnings and hope that will be my case. 

For the records, I have stuck with this man for 5 years, supporting as much as I can, crying to bed and waking up crying. Is it that I'm not using my head or I've allowed love to rule me? I hustle to get more jobs so that I can meet up with both of our needs. It's been really really difficult.

Stella, in your red ink, imagine I were your younger sister and he your younger brother, tell me what I may not be telling myself.

Thank you! I hope to write you another chronicle sometime later but of hope and answered prayers.