Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Saturday In House Gists....

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Saturday, June 25, 2016

Saturday In House Gists....

I hope you Laugh as much as I did!






GIST ONE
Someone sent this as a broadcast on whatsaap and I find it absolutely hilarious.            
I was hanging out alone in a bush smoking some hard weed at around 11pm. I decided to leave for my house but no taxi on that route at that time of the night, so i started recalling old comedies and started laughing on ma own and i also decided to hitch a ride home if possible.

 It started raining heavily and suddenly a range rover jeep stopped by my side. I quickly jumped into the passengers side and closed the door then the car started moving, and just when I was about to say thank you to the driver, I discovered there was no one in the car. I started to freak out but was too scared to jump out of a moving vehicle.

When the car got to a bend, a hand came in through the driver's window and turned the steering wheel. This happened twice and on the third time I totally freaked out, jumped out of the car screaming and landed in a ditch full of rain water. I got up and ran for my dear life and entered the nearest bar I found. After downing 4 bottles of Odeku and narrating my ghost story to anyone who cared to listen, three guys just walked into the same bar all drenched in rain water.

One of them pointed at me and said, "isn't that the mad man who entered the car while we were pushing it?" 

They pounced on me and dealt with me with serious anger.



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GIST TWO
Hello Stells
There is this gist from Secondary School that I want to share.
We all remember what transpires in the exam hall in those days, how some would come into the exam hall with different kinds of "expo" which includes a whole textbook in few cases. All these in a bid to cheat and pass. Some relied on copying from their brilliant class mates and friends and that was the case on this fateful day.


 We were in Jss 2, there were these two friends in the hall, one was Olubiyi Joshua, a new student who was writing exam in the school for the first time and the other student was Olaoti Ayoola, an old student. The exam went on peacefully for the first 40minutes, Joshua seated behind Ayoola was busy copying the guy with Ayoola's consent, we saw him 'girraffing' and when the invigilator was coming their way, they would adjust quickly lols.

 As Luck would have it, before the end of the paper, they were caught and asked to stand up, their answer booklets were seized. The invigilator checked the booklets and faced Joshua:
Invigilator: what is your name?
Joshua: (shaking) Olaoti Ayoola

There was a wild laughter in the hall 

Invigilator: (facing Ayoola) What is your name?
Ayoola: Olaoti Ayoola

The confused invigilator summoned our class teacher to come and confirm their identities as they both had the same names on their booklets, it was then discovered that Joshua had copied Ayoola word for word including his names. When asked to mention his names, he felt the correct answer was the name he copied in the column that had "candidate's name"..and so he mentioned it....





45 comments:

  1. @Gist 1, I've read it before and it's funny.

    @Gist 2, well I no laugh sha.

    In conclusion, non of you won it




    *Larry was here*

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lol. The ghost gist though. Wetin weed eyes dey cause

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  3. Gist 1 for me. Gist 2 isnt just dry but very fake. Even a four year old knows his name... I mean even a 2 year old

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  4. 👀👀👀👀👀 @ senders.

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  5. Lol. Very funny..
    Something similar happened 2 me sometime ago wen I was pry 5 2 be precise..
    One faithful morning, we were told 2 submit our assignments given 2 us d previous day, we all did except 4 1 certain boy..
    After d teacher finished marking, she asked dis boy 4 his assignment, he kept on telling us he submitted bt his book was nowhere 2 be found(which was a lie just 2 escape d lashes he was abt 2 receive).
    I was d first 2 submit d assignment, so my book(without d hard cover) was at d bottom..wen d class captain transferred d books from d top of d cupboard where we submitted, to d teacher, she left mine behind..
    So d teacher told dis boy dat she could see an exercise book on d cupboard(wich was mine), he should go check whether it was his...
    On getting there he saw it was mine(without a hard cover) then he "IMMEDIATELY"(less than 5 secs) wrote his name boldly on d first page of my book and brought d exercise book 2 d teacher..
    2 cut d story short.
    D teacher was convinced dat it was his book & not mine bt later she opened d book nd discovered it was my handwriting..
    In d end, he got double of d lashes he was trying 2 elude 4 stealing & lying..
    #funnymemories.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's fateful not "faithful "

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    2. Anon 007 Oshe Corrector of Life

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  6. Hahahahaha! Gist one got me rolling!!

    Gist two, ermmm... I understand that this must have been funny when it happened, hehe,but not so funny reading it.
    Hahaha,lemme read gist one again.

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  7. Just there joor,ko funny...Stella, I bet you didn't laugh,just wanted us to open the post..

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  8. So funny I forgot to laugh.

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  9. The hand and car joke just reminded me of my own ordeal.
    I was home with my little nephew, he loves wrestling so I always play fight with him. I was in my room when I heard footsteps approaching,I thought it was my nephew so I hid behind the door so I'll hold him and slam him on the bed (choke slam). Immediately the door opened, I threw my hands from behind the door, visualising his height,I was aiming for his neck. I caught something in my hands,I immediately knew what it was but whose? I came out from behind the door to see my Dad looking shocked and waiting for me to explain why I was hiding behind the door and holding his BALLS. True Story, wasn't funny at all at the time but remembering it now makes me laugh.

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    Replies
    1. Hahahahaha! OMG! I laughed so hard reading this! *can't stop rolling*

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    2. @Artitude did he cum?

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    3. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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    4. I vote for this gist, abeg. Buhahahaa

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    5. This gist just made my day. I don laugh tire

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    6. Hahahahaaa,I can visualize ur dad's face,hahahahaaa

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    7. This gist funny die

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    8. Please just make this jist 3. I have laffed my ass off reading this.

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    9. Lol... I vote for this Gist ooo... the other 2 I've read them several times in different Whatsapp groups.. Gist 2 just changed names

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    10. This one is a win for me

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  10. Lmao poster 1 😂😂😂😂😂😂.

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  11. Gist 2
    Since gist 1 is not an original work

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  12. Funny gists but I vote for gist one

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  13. I vote jist 1. Jist 2 was annoying. Even if d story was real why include their real or last names?

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  14. Stella said you can send in recycled or used gist if you acknowledge that you are not the original source but culled.

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  15. Hey people.. my name is Bayo and i'm a student. Pls i need your help. I need N 54,525 to complete my fees for the semester in school. My work salary will not meet my payment deadline on 29th of June when my exam starts. I pray thee dat u help me in wahtever capacity. God bless you!

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  16. These are not bumpy

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  17. My dad in his younger days in the village loved the booze but was npt necessarily a drunkard. So this particular night, he went for a burial and wore white Agbada. It was the only available thing to wear. ones was wearing white. Na so my popsy shack, so tey, he waka go house by himself. The wake was to end by midnight and then the person is buried. So my pop was in another village and so could vaguely remember his way home. So he was so drunk that he found himself in a catholic church and very sleepy. He slept for like an hour and the shack left his eyes a little bit just before midnight. Guess where he slept, on top a gravestone in front of the catholic church.
    The man about to be buried was being brought in by the family in a procession. As they sang, and matched forward, he was lying on the stone and getting up gradually. The entire team saw him getting up slowly from the tombstone and threw the coffin away and ran away. He said he was wondering why they were running cos he started running towards them to ask why they were running. Oh boy see fleeing. When he realised what was happening, he started running as far away as possible. He heard people on their way saying they saw a ghost come out of a white man's grave. He did not mention this to anyone. The village vigilante group later went to look for the ghost and to help bury the old man properly. Anytime i remember this story i laugh so hard. Popsy said what he was given to drink was not normal shack. He almost lost his mind from the hangover. Needless to say, he has not tasted alcohol since then. Lol!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Funny gist

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    2. Hahahahahaha, Stella I vote for this gist lololol... I can't stop laughing. Why won't he stop drinking hahahahaha

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  18. Hahahha gist 1 it's so funny.

    ReplyDelete

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