Saturday In House Gists...

There was no Money up for grabs last week but there is today...5k!
Do you think any of these three Jokes deserve the winning price?if not where do we find a winner?In the comment section?

GIST ONE

Hello house. My gists must be funny to you all so that I can win.lol.....  There was a guy I was dating after leaving secondary he was my senior.

chai! this guy luv me die!!!

He will go and work in his brother bakery just to buy me gifts.......Please allow me to switch to pigin.
This guy buy me sagem my x5 ,if una sabi the phone then 2005.

chai! See biggest gal for hood na.

i dey hide the phone from my parent. Na so  God catch me o I don forget to off am for nite, na so I slip for my room and my elder sisters don dey university.I no know the witch wey put my phone for alarm with cat tone. My people na so meew mew begin sound oo,and me don slip go.

my mama hear the sound open room,she no see cat,with fear she call my Papa,they both hear the sound. My Papa go carry cutlass say he go make sure say he kill the cat say na the woman wey build house next ours be the witch and he go kill am.my mama carry holy water for hand.

As dey wake me begin find cat,I jump fear say wetin happen na dat time the alarm begin ring again. My parent con see say na phone dey make the cat sound.come see beating say where I see phone.I lie say na biz center where I dey work.

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GIST TWO

I didn't know the right time to send this in but i'd like it if you could post it in Sat In House Gists.‎So due to my skul's strike,I went to stay with my aunt in town rather than travelling far home.

Na so one evening around 7pm,i  say make I go buy loi-loi(akpu) make I eat since this slim tea people no go let person hear word,dey give us fear say if you eat late,your belle go big,na im I say I go dey try chop early even though hunger go hold me around dat kind 12,i go drink tea use hold body.

As I dey open the small gate 2 enter the compound,i notice say one car wan enta inside,being a good citizen wey I be na,i decide 2 open the big gate for the guy to drive in.you no as normal compound dey be for evening na,neighbours and all sidon for outside dey gist,na so dis man headlight dey flash inside the compound o.i no say I no sabi drive but atleast,e suppose dim the lights, na wa o.the tin wey bother me pass na my loi-loi wey the man light just dey showcase to the entire compound plus people wey dey Waka pass for outside.

I no talk anytin,i just dey smile,dey pray make him drive enta sharp sharp.i come notice say him dey take im tym dey reverse,dey do small small,for my mind,i say which kind wahala I put myself?thank God say I been no put soup for fire sef .i patiently dey wait for the man to enta bcos lik two parked cars dey around,i come notice dis man dey use hand dey call me make I come,i no been fit first see am na as him don use im headlights wan blind me,i Waka go meet am na im say..." I''ve been tryin 2 call you since but you didn't hear me,i am not goin inside,i jst wanted 2 reverse but the space was small  so when you open the gate,i used the entrance to turn properly,thanx " 

I just smile say "oga,no wahala" and he zoomed off.my people,shame no gree me,some people inside the compound don begin laff,i just jejely dey close the gate,for my mind if ground fit open,make e swallow me ,na im one woman come meet me say ''the way you been dey open the gate,i even think say na person wey you no,na im I just smile tell her say,i think say na person wey dey stay the compound since I no no everybdy and he been dey in front of the house.

i just Waka enter our room dey wonder who send me this kind gate woman job this evening!......its well o

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GIST THREE

As  an enthusiasistic primary school pupil, I was eager to learn new

words. I had a neighbor who was my age( a yoruba gal).

One faithful saturday morning, I sat at our garage( car park), she

came looking for me.

There we started the spell bee competition as well as pronounciation

of new words between the two of us.

She spelt "ToTo"( kpekus). I forgot to add that I was an "Aje-butter"

(winks).

 I pronounced "ToTo" as To To ( as in where are you going "To").

Was very innocent and didn't even know what the word "ToTo"( kpekus)

meant. She now assisted me in pronouncing it correctly. She asked if

i didn't know what the word connotes, and I said NO.

I was so excited that I learnt a new word. Got into the house and there

was my dad having breakfast in the sitting room. I sat in front of him

and was busy re-citing the new word I learnt thus: To-To "ToTo".

My dad quickly shut me up and asked where I learnt that and I

innocently said it was Toyin( my neighbor). He warned me never to

associate with her. But even while he was warning me, I discovered he

was hoolding himself from laughing.

It was later in life I discovered the meaning of "ToTo" and the reason

why my dad had the look on his face while warning me.

Cheers!!!