More interesting Chronicles from those who have had their share of the Omugwo....
OMUGWO 4
Mrs Korkus,
I'm a newly married woman who got married September 2015 while serving and passed out of NYSC October , then put to bed April meaning I wasn't really a mermaid lol. Fast forward to April my mother came for the omugwo infact she took me to the hospital because we stay in the same state and I called her because she insisted I do so when the time comes..
Here's my issue...
Mumsy is this authoritative type maybe because she took care of some school bills more than dad,now she came for omugwo stayed for two weeks went back to her husband's house after we had little misunderstanding and said she didn't want to come for omugwo sef
*sighs*
I called and apologised not because I was wrong but because I felt she's the mom and should be apologised to. She came back after on week when my baby was 6wks old, now my baby is two months old.
she has been disturbing me to go get a job,that as a graduate nurse-midwife I was trained to train my younger ones,mind you my baby just clocked 2months this week, I discussed with my husband and he told me that he never had such fantasy/plan for his family,he wanted a woman who will be there for his kids since he foots all the bills,and that even if I'm to work I should at least nurse my child for a year before getting a job since I'm not working to pay or take care of the bills and that he wants me to be a boss of my own by getting me facilities for such.
I related my husband's idea to my mum,and she went gaga.. Reminding me of how she trained me even when i indirectly got my nursing final year/license fees and my midwifery /license fees from my hubby, telling me I should tell my hubby to place me on monthly salary even when hubby gives me daily allowance as lil as 1k for miscellaneous ish and gives my younger ones pocket money and provisions ones they come around.
She says I must train my younger ones else I won't reap the fruit of my labour on my child.. I've been torn between getting a job to foot my parents bills because out off pressure I called a facility for a job ad and I was asked to resume ASAP which I told hubby and it got him pissed and taking care of my child since hubby is financially capable to foot other bills cos we live in our own house.
My mum is really driving me nuts.
I prayed and fasted to leave the house because of her wahala and God answered me now omugwo has brought us together. I click with my dad more than my mum. Please what do I do??? I need kind Bv's to advice me biko.
Mrs Korkus I won't mind your Red Pen OK? Thanks *kisses*.
This is a tough one and i dont know what to say really!
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OMUGWO 5
Hello Stella,
I want to share my Omugwo experience. Please hide my email.
I had my first child in 2012, my mum is late but my MIL is alive and she came for my Omugwo. We were discharged from the hospital the next day. She came empty handed and to be truthful I was initially disappointed, I was expecting her to come with dry fish, pepper soup ingredients etc.
On getting home, I expected her to cook but she did not. Luckily for me, my brothers wife brought some food for us so we all ate. The day we came home from hospital I asked her what we will eat and she said it was not her business that her business is to take care of baby, that I should take care of my hubby.
I was hurt when I heard that statement because this was just day 3 of my delivery and I was still weak. I took up the duty of cleaning and cooking for all of us. I was depressed initially and I missed my mum but I decided to make the most of my MIL's stay.
I discovered that her focus was on the baby and she did a very good job of that. She baths baby, dresses her, washes her cloths. Even at night, she sleeps with the baby and will only wake me to nurse her when she wakes. After about a week, she encouraged me to be expressing milk at night for the baby so that she can nurse my baby anytime instead of disturbing my sleep. She stayed with us for 2 months.
She came for my second baby's Omugwo and we used the same system. She didn't come empty handed this time around and she explained that she was not financial buoyant the first time I had my baby and as it was her first grand child, she overlooked the importance of coming with something for matter how small.
As the first poster of Omugwo Chronicle wrote, look for the good side of your MIL. In one of my discussions with my MIL, she explained that why she doesn't cook is because she does not want to interfere too much in our life and that whatever I cook, she will eat. But on few occasions she made special traditional dishes for us.
I am expecting my third child and I am looking forward to having her around. We are really close, and we gist a lot. I am looking forward to us sitting together watching African magic,drinking tea, gossipping about my hubby (lol).
I am looking forward to her encouraging me to lose my baby weight. I am looking forward to seeing the smile on her face as she baths and sings for my baby. I am also looking forward to having a good night sleep after my baby is born. She also massages my body for at least the first 4/5 days and I am looking forward to that too.
I love my MIL and she loves me too. May God continue to bless and keep her for us.
WOW...Nice story.
I have come to believe that the MIL's duty is not to become a housemaid for one but to see to the baby whilst you go about your duties in the house.
It is even only in Nigeria that this Omugwo thing exists.When i just relocated,I saw a lady who gave birth on Monday shopping on Friday of the same week,she was shopping with the baby and shocked i asked my hubby ''isnt there Omugwo here''? and Mr Korkus looked at me and said ''what is Omu-whatever?''.
After explaining to him,he was shocked and said ones culture cannot be applied where it does not exist.
Infact sef,after i had my first,i was indoors for a week without coming out and my hubbys family had to visit one after the other to ask me what was wrong,if i was sick and why i was hiding indoors for a WHOLE WEEK...I explained to them that i was doing self Omugwo and my MIL said said i should go out for a walk and get fresh air for myself and baby....Na so i take enter town..LOL
Poster 1,
ReplyDeleteDon't allow your mom to destroy your home!...
I don't know why some mothers like putting pressures on their children...follow your husband's advise since you don't lack!,,
Who will be nursing your baby at nights when you are on night duty?....your mama no get brain sorry to say!...
Poster 2,
I'm happy you love your mum inlaw...
I love mine too...
Poster 1, i think its time for your mother to go back to her house. At least not to separate you and your husband, cos i tell you one thing, your hubby knows she is the one pressurising you about getting the job. If you fight with your hubby over this, bet me that she won't let you into her house. Imagine your MIL interfering in your home affairs, how will you feel? Abeg its time to buy onugwo stuff for her and send her home. The earlier the better.
DeletePoster one you will just allow your mom destroy your home. What is wrong with you?? Since you people aren't lacking and hubby dsnt want you working right now what say does your mom have?? How can you leave a 2months old child to go and work??? I totally support your hubby. Wait till at least a year.
DeletePoster two I'm so happy for you. God bless your mother inlaw. The fact that she even wakes at night to stay with the baby while you sleep is amazing. You are blessed.
What is omugwo?lol.. i was in the hosp 4 2days..yes i was alone
DeleteI got home and i started bathing my child from day 3, i was doing laundry,cleaning,cooking,nursing my child and babyseating my niece.
I was relieved when my sis came to spend a week..
He is two years now.. i have had lil or no help.. i am alive, i survived it.. i have got no chronicle cos mil no kuku get time 4 pikin.
@ poster 1: learn to love yours and don't be too quick to judge either your mum or mum inlaw
DeletePoster 1, can't u see your mother is under great stress raising your younger ones. She's asking for your help and u are telling us u are happy with your 1k/day. If u can't get a job, then find a way to contribute. Stop being selfish. U got married and now u want to abandon your family. When u chips are down u will start looking for them. If hubby can't afford to help, then get a job. Maternity leave us 90 days in most companies, so your baby can survive
DeleteAbi o Stella, i went shopping the very day i was discharged, i still had all the hospital bands and all. I went for birth cert n babys document 3days after her birth, started pp runs n every. We dey enjoy for Nigeria. I know i wont have stepped out for 41days if i birthed there. My mum is awesome, so is my mum in law
DeleteMy MIL has no biz in my kitchen, I cook n freeze! My help that comes in do d washing and general cleaning n run errnads, my MIL sole purpose is to just look after d baby while I nap or sleep, that was how we did it. Ask yourself how do white women cope? My mom or mil can't come n slave for me when there are househelp that come n go in d evening after chores. When my son marries, I will do the same.
ReplyDeleteGood to know
ReplyDeleteJames! which one be good to know?
DeleteU dey fear to release missile?
don't worry we are immuned to it.
Stella same thing is happened to me, every one is wondering why I'm always indoors after having my baby , it's always take her out everyday for fresh air lol.
DeleteStella I will tag u a hypocrite if u say u don't know what to say to the first poster. Always in support of women since 1900.
DeletePoster 1. You have a bad mother FULL STOP. Pls don't let her destroy ur home.
Anon 17:25- so you want Stella to repeat what we can already deduce about poster's mother. So that people will come here and cuss Stella out abi?? Odiegwu!!
DeleteI had my baby in England without my mum and by day two we were going shopping . Life goes on and being trapped at home can lead to depression . The greatest lavour of love from a mil is taking your baby overnight . The few nights (3) in total someone else slept with my baby, I thought I had died and gone to heaven . If you are not strong enough for chores, hire a maid . I don't understand team no househelp complaining when mil doesn't wash and clean . You don't want a maid, but you want maid service .If she is sleeping with your baby, you are getting enough rest and definitely strong enough to cook. If she isn't sleeping with the baby , she should pls cook and if she does neither , she should go back to her house . Lol
ReplyDeleteOmugwo things, lol. Why will my mom come n wash my clothes or sweep my house? What happened to getting a helping hand? If she wants to cook fine, if she doesn't I can cook while she holds d baby. I've seen women who work out days after giving birth so where's the 'weakness' coming from. Lazy blacks. That's y ya'll end up with pot bellies n fat.
ReplyDeleteDon't call them lazy. The health care and delivery system in Nigeria is very much different from the western world eg. The recovery of a woman who gave birth in USA or UK can never and should never be compared to someone who gave birth in Nigeria (lsland maternity or Randle).
DeletePlease tell them. I wonder how they think it's same in nigeria and the western world
DeleteD 1st looks more like a chronicle than an omugwo story
ReplyDeleteI miss my mum so much, she would have given me the best omugwo ever. RIP mum.
ReplyDeleteFirst post madam your is chronicles naa not omuguor.
ReplyDeletePoster 4: Ur hubby gives u 1k and u still think u dn't need a job...Toor
ReplyDeleteOmugwo no 5 I love your story very sweet..keep it up.
ReplyDeleteNo 4 it is well.
Poster 1, I can guess where you are from already without even saying. Can't stand parents that feel it's ur duty to train your younger once. If you are filthy rich ok. But for a young newly married couple just starting life. I don't understand this your mother o, your baby is barely 2mths and she's talking of you footing the bills of ur younger one. I don't get it, na you send them work to give birth to addition kids they can't cater for.
ReplyDeleteMind you they did you no favors by training you. They brout you into the world and it's their duty to care for you and educate you.
Pls don't let ur mum, abi are u even sure she's not ur step mum. Don't let her ruin your home. Listen to what your husband is advising.
You can get a job when your baby clocks one. You can send money home to ur people as you can afford. Don't send what you can't abeg.
Won't you leave sum savings for your own kids??? God forbid ur hubby looses his job or becums sick, you will need this savings to run your home.
Send what you can afford home abeg.
I never born,so I am learning
ReplyDeleteFirst poster..yours isnt omugwo chronicle na..na main chronicle be that. This one you dey seek advice ontop story wey suppose entertain us, i no sabi wetin to talk.
ReplyDeleteP1, pardon me nne but your mum is more than the bump. Call her and talk to her that you can't leave baby for now to go and work. P2, lucky you
ReplyDeleteOmugwo 1 it will be wise if you can nurse your child for a least six month before getting a job, talk to your mother and plead with her to be patient with you and your hubby, once your child is up to six month you can get a job or let your hubby buys the facility asap to avoid mother in law drama.
ReplyDeleteStella Dim. Lol Self Omugwo
ReplyDeleteNow I want to get married... Tearing up*
ReplyDeleteNice story @poster 2,i enjoyed it.
LMAO Stella's experience
ReplyDeletePoster 5, nice one
Poster 4, my mum is so mean why the curse. Though I don't support your husband decision to keep you indoor but your mum isn't fair how will Compel you to go get a job at 2month postnatal
I will advise you get a job but not until your baby is atleast 6month, if you wait 1year you might be pregnant again
*your mummy o*
DeleteHahahahahahahahaha stella this your story na the real saturday laugh! Omg! It's because whites have no one to help their postnatal depression is always bad. You need time to recover
ReplyDeletePoster1 ahu odikwa yin'ma? Your mom is telling you the truth! Stop being lazy and start searching for a job so when your baby is 3mths you'd have gotten one. Your hubby gives you 1k everyday? That's enough for you? You're not alright!!! Better go and look for a job to support your husband, he's having mouth now wait until another baby comes and you don't have a job that's when he'll ask you why you have to menstruate every month because he's tired of buying sanitary pad. Ode
Kwakwakwakwakwa 'why do you have to menstruate every montth' too funny
DeleteAbeg shutup if u dnt knw wat to write,how can someone Who jst gave bath start looking for work immediately?who will take care of the child?how can she nurse the baby wen she is on night duty?did u read wat she wrote at all?her hubby didn't say she shouldn't work buh she should wait for a year.u jst here writing trash,I too knw
DeleteMz Anon did you read well?
DeletePoster 1:
ReplyDeleteYour mom advising you to work is not bad advice.
Many women wish they had financial independence in their marriages for harder times when their husband's work/business doesn't go as planned or when there's trouble in the marriage, the main thing wrong with going back to work now is timing. Your baby is still young plus your husband isn't on board. I would say use this time to plan your work or additional income stream now. If it's a business, structure it in such a way that your home life will not be affected, so your husband won't give you stories on why he doesn't want to fund your business.
As for it being your responsibility to train your younger ones, it is not really your responsibility, but your mother clearly needs the help and as you said she's the authoritative type and doesn't know how to ask, thus she is DEMANDING. You don't need to give into her by returning to work and funnelling all of your money to your siblings, but talk to her and find out what the monthly needs are, explain to your husband that you need to put your hand to help your family and that's why you offended him by going to find a job, He might be able to provide the monthly stipend to help your siblings out until your parents are able to do it alone. But many women whose husband's "train" their younger ones end up being abused by their husbands because the man feels he's feeding her family, maybe that's part of why your mom wants you work for yourself and provide; but you can't break up your home to fulfil her wishes. Think well and be prayerful about the decision you make
Very sensible advice
DeleteOmugwo 2 your story is so great, am learning a lot cos soon I will have my mil come around to visit. Now am not expecting her to do house maid job but to take of the baby, as am expecting less fron mil to be once I get more I will be happy.
ReplyDeleteEvery mil has her good side and bad side, focus on her good side than the bad side, you will enjoy her. My mil to be she is already a great gift from God to me, I know our relationship will be the best. God keep my mil for me and also keep my mum.
Some mother in-laws are angels, while some can be difficult. Which ever one we come across let's ask God for the grace to deal with them. For the difficult ones you Just have to be Patient with them and be humble. Na them go tire one day.
ReplyDeleteFirst poster yours falls more under Chronicles than Omugwo series.
ReplyDeleteDunno why you are doing "amebo" between your hubby and your Mom.
So there is no other way of handling information between the two of them diplomatically without pouring out everything bluntly?
You will end up fostering hatred in your home which will adversely affect you.
Solution:
Prior to courtship,was there an agreement between you and your hubby for you to tend to the kids and later face your career? If yes,please don't let your mom destroy that promise. You will gently tell Mama that this is exactly what YOU want....don't go about hiding behind your hubby. . You are an adult.
Secondly,if you thirst for a career genuinely from your heart,simple....tell hubby that after 3months,you would love to get a job that will be flexible enough to give your kids care an attention(even though I doubt that nurses have such luxury) or maybe you extend it to 6months before your job search.
Lastly,N1,000 a day translates to N30,000 a month...which is over N300,000 a year. Don't pay heed to people that will tell you it is small. Save!!!
These things are actually so easy to manage without going back and forth if you apply a little brake on your tongue.
Goodluck.
Second poster...I like how you managed the situation...Congrats and safe delivery. God bless.
Talking about omugwo just took me down memory lane of what I passed through in the hands of my mum,which is about to happen again,and I need BVs advice on this.gave birth to my 1st 3yrs ago,during which mum came for omugwo with 2 of her helps,my dad is wealthy(and that has kind of made mum lazy to do things) d helps were practically doing everything,bathing the baby and I,one of them was 35 the other 22,mum never even bothered if anything might happen between them and my hubby,not to talk of the fact that my man isn't as wealthy as my dad 4 dem 2 be wasting food d way they did,mum wl wake up open a can of stout,gulp it down,den ask them to make the breaky,she wil bath & ask one of them to apply polish on her nails then d biggest work she wil do is to carry my baby.I saw hell during that 4weeks of their stay,in a week we spend more dan 30k in feeding alone not to talk of constant buying of fuel for the gen set as mum can't stay witout light,den getting to when they wil leave mum insisted I must buy omugo tins 4 both the ladies also,as they took care of me,my people I had to withdraw my own money as hubby gave me 200k for my mums wrapper and other things for her omugo,mum wasn't even bothered that the my husband's salary was what my dad makes in a day(500k).if not that my dad pays me 200k salary every month which I save I dnt knw how I would hv done it.now I'm 8months gone mum has called saying she wil com wit 3 people this time around bcos of d older baby,how do I go about this without hurting my mum,aside this she's very fun to be with,but I cnt take it,3 grown women in our 5rooms bungalow,dis isn't my dads big house,on the other hand my mil pampers me whenever she's around,she doesn't even allow my foot to touc ground,she came after mum left and stayed 2months whic I kept begging her 2 stay more bcos during those days I felt like a queen,and she manages things so well,when she was leaving,her son gave her 100k and I added 100k,u need 2 c this woman rolling on d floor wt tears in her eyes blessing me.my blog sweethears advice ur own on how to go about dis,pls forgive my long epistle
ReplyDeleteLet's not be biased here. If it were your MIL that's bringing multitude to your house, I'm sure there'll be a fight between you two. But its your mom bringing these people and asking for ridiculous things, you can't say anything?! OK continue! When you have your 3rd baby and your house looks like a refugee camp, that's when you'll know wassup. I advice you talk to your dad to talk to his wife oo
DeleteAnonymous you need to sit your mum down and explain situations to her, let her know you and your hubby can't afford the extravagant omugwo in as much as you want her around let her know you can't keep her and 3 assistant omugwo's....shikena
DeletePoster 1
If you want to get a job before your child clocks one make sure it's a decision between you and your hubby because you are an adult and married
Poster 2
Enjoy yourself
Talk to your mom. Do you not have an open communication system? If she's hard to reach then tell your father to talk to her. You musn't hurt her feelings. Just say you'd love for her to come but you and your husband are saving, things are tight and you cannot afford 3 helpers plus mama at this time. Tell her she would have to come by herself or with only 1 helper. Stand your ground biko before you bring down your home. I don't see how your mom would take offence to that.
DeleteThe story sounds like a big lie. Nothing to advice. If ur dad pays u 200k monthly, then why are u complaining? U shd have enough money to take care of mom even if she comes with 10 maids. U have 5 bedrooms gaan, so what's d complaint? Hehehehe. If I believe this, then I'll believe anything.
DeleteAnnonymous 23.02 that u lie doesn't make every1 a lier,of what use will being a liar in a faceless blog be for me?my dear my husband isn't rich so I use my own money to do so many things for myself,and I'm equally saving it so as to go into biz after the birth of my baby,pls ask God for mercy,u dnt accuse some1 just like that.And for the records 200k is small compared to what my friend's dad pays her every month.
DeleteI love d 5 chronicle..very educative
ReplyDeleteWell culture differs... Omugwo is an Igbo word. And I'm sure the word omugwo is popular because it's something done in the east and not another part of the chronicle..
ReplyDeleteThe word omugwo means coming to nurse your child and grandchild till they are fit. When they are coming, thry come with things for the native soup called ji mmiri oku..
Infact Igbo mothers pound yam for their daughters to eat with this ji mmiri oku. When people visit you, they ask to taste this soup because it's delicious and made by mother. It's tradition. Although my mom didn't get to pound yam as we have food processor and we use the dough maker for that.. But if we didn't, my mom would pound the yam. Infact at some point she will be like ah,let her pound for us, it will be sweeter and my husband and I will scream no.
What about the hot water part on your Tommy. The mothers do that. My mom did it every day for a month. Chai. Very painful something. Then she made sure. I sat on hot water until she left because he said it will nurse my vagina back to life. Lol. It worked
They care for you and the baby. Watch the baby while you get some rest. Do the whole night watch thing and so much more. When it's time for them to go, you get them things or give them monetary value for saying thank you to them for having to abandon all they were doing to come look l after you..
That's the meaning of omugwo. This is a culture in Igbo land. And I have come to believe it doesn't happen every where like this. I never would have known until during this omugwo series..
My cousins and I always abroad always send for their mom's or mom inlaw a month before child birth. Those who can't have that access and are igbos know what they are missing. As they will always always miss that feeling..
Funny enough I have not heard of the word for it in another language so that means it's just the igbos that do it and why I mean by do it, I mean by doing it according to the meaning of the word omugwo (nursing mother and child)
Omugwo became popular because of the home video.
DeleteOther tribes do it but they dont have a name for it like the ibos.
Nne,you hit the nail on the head.its for the mother and child. Most ppl here don't get that,that's why they condemn the help rendered.exceptional cases are where the grandma isnt strong enough,then she can send someone on her behalf.omugwo is a culture not an obligation.
DeleteFab mum please try and do a research on issues that are not so clear to you please. Omugwo is common to all black Africa, ask your Yoruba, Hausa, kanuuri, edo, Ghanaian, Togolese, beninouis, Ivorian and Senegalese friends they will enlightened you more about it. Though the way we practised it may differ but the motives are the same to care for the new born and it's mum.The fact that we can not see what lies behind the sea or our horizon does not mean that life start and end with our world cos there are other world beyond our sea. I am Yoruba and in Yoruba land it is called "ojojo omo" and it means "tendering to a newborn" and it has been in existence from time immemorial. The "olojojo" meaning the person carrying out the care duty of tendering the newborn and it'sum can either be the MIL or the mother of the bride or any other close relative but in Yoruba land the MIL has more legitimate right than the mother of the bride, which I believe is the main cause of friction because most MIL will come over with the entitlement problem which makes the igbo omugwo to be ideal because the mother of the bride is the one that comes aroind. In addition "aso ebi" is a Yoruba word for family uniform clothes for events, the fact that I do not know what it is called elsewhere does not makes its existence elsewhere to be irrelevant but all nigerians called it "aso ebi" for easy reference cos I have known the Ghanaians with it long before I started seeing it in other part of this country. My point is this: what we have in common far outweigh what divides us, for every cultural practice we lay claim to there will be other Africans doing the same thing elsewhere in different way but the same goal. Hence omugwo is not practised by the igbo's only.... please.
DeleteThese set of people.............. That is how they give birth to battalion of kids then expect the older one's to train them.
ReplyDeletePOSTER 1..I WILL WRITE IN ALL CAPS. BIKO LISTEN TO YOUR MAMA. You young girls will be forming my husband foots all the bills. There is respect in having your own money to contribute. Ask ANY MAN. I am a man and I pay all the bills, ALL. My wife did not buy into my stay at home speech. I have also warned my sisters not to try that nonsense unless there is an absolute need. Financial abuse is very real. I treat my wife with much respect and I love her more than my life. She has made my life easier by allowing me to give us a comfortable life. She takes care of her family with her salary. If I had to do that I would be miserable. I would not tell her but I would resent her for making me cater to us, and then her family as well. Anyone who curses me out, I accept.I am just being honest. I don't want you women to think a mans job is to kill himself. You are educated for a reason. Now, in my house...I wash dishes, take care of my children, clean and we share chores despite being the primary breadwinner. My wife can't become old because of duties. Please Nne get a job.
ReplyDeleteMr. Man, it's your choice, I take care of both extended family very comfortably, it would be a shame if my wife works under anyone. It don't comment, just forced to ring it that I for one would lose my respect if she works and her jobless mode is not an avenue for disrespect.
DeleteIsokay! Clash of testerone.
Deletelet it begin. 😂😂😂
Ogas, Ive said it here before - No two marriages are the same. Biko you people can run your homes as happily as it suits you.
But I'm gonna keep checking to see what more men have to say.😉
If she waits till d first child is a year,wat happens wen she has anoda kid?In other news,i heard my side boo's wify is like a queen on this blog.Hi,general's wife,hope to interact with u more here.
ReplyDeleteThank God for this story of Omugwo. it's better you are prepared or make arrangement for how the work is going to be done than getting disappointed when ur expectations are over high.
ReplyDeletePoster 1. Don't let your mum come between you and your husband, it is time for mama to go home. You have a good husband please don't use your own hands spoil your home. If you allow your mother continue like this ( I mean if you allow her to turn your home to a house ) soon your husband will start coming home late. A word is enough for the wise. Poster 2, I love your story. Women love your MIL.
ReplyDeleteI live abroad as a full time student with 2 jobs. MIL is wicked and mum is quite elderly.Both of them are in Nigeria. So we enrolled my baby @ the day care by 6 weeks old. Daycare is open from 7am to 6.30 pm so it gives DH and I enough time to do our runs. Mind you, this is my second child. My first attends Pre k3 in same school as my second,so it makes everything convenient.It's not easy, but we have to rotate the chores once we get home
ReplyDeleteWhat????? You sent a 6 weeks old baby to daycare?? Jehovah Nissi
DeleteYou couldn't defer school and drop one job? What happened to sacrifice? Hmm... well I dont know the full story. But a 6 week old baby in daycare is a very 'fantastic' story.
DeleteMadame you need to sit your mum down and talk sense into her, it is too early for you to start searching for job now, at least from 6 months. Some mil are devil while some are angel.
ReplyDeleteMy mil can't do anything she cannot bath a new baby she can't wash she can't even cook.d day she manage baff my pikin ehn d boy was gasping for breath I beg I no born again becos I marry yourba nd she's always insisting dat my mom has no business in omugo say na yourba get pikin
ReplyDeleteMadam, bathe ur baby urself. And let her play with the child while u do ur cooking n beg hubby to help with whatever he can help with. If u didnt have any help, u will survive. Im yoruba too by the way.
DeleteMy mum had the responsibility of taking care of me after I had my babies. The most she could stay was 2 weeks after which I take charge of my baby and home. She has a home to keep as well and my dad has a medical condition. For my last baby they both stayed 1 week with me. It boils down to understanding the situation at hand and making the most of it. By the way my mum inlaw is late so nothing from that quarters. With the way things are going now how many of us will be able to go for omugwo. Most women work now or run businesses so you can hardly get to enjoy omugwo like our mothers did
ReplyDelete.
Poster one, marriage no be the same o. Listen to your husband. O. He did not say you should stay at home forever. Is your child not more important than any other thing? God forbid , if anything bad happens to the child while in the care of someone else, that may be the end of your marriage.
ReplyDeleteLol@ self Omugwo. Two very different story. Poster#1 Please be a leader in your home. You are the woman of your own house so step into your shoes. Nothing wrong with listening to the counsel of parents and elders, but you cannot do as they say all the time,especially at the risk of bringing friction into your own home. You and your husband are one now.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, how lucky you are to have such a considerate mil, such a blessing to have a friend in a mil. Your family is indeed blessed. Your mil probably felt so much shame having to come empty handed first time around. Every grandmother wants to shower her grandchild with gifts, so it must have rested on her poor soul to show up with nothing but herself and her love, and that is even more precious than gold.
Stella, Omugwo is not just in Nigeria, doll. I am Jamaican and mothers do show up. We don't have an official name for it, but Omugwo happens for us too. The mother makes special teas, bathe the mother if they can't bathe herself, take care of the baby and do a lot of the cooking. They do a lot, and depending on their age, meaning if they are still actively in the workforce or retired, they typically stay anywhere from 2 weeks to 6 months.