Omugwo Chronicles - 15

Why do we have no Omugwo Chronicles from the men?Is it that men are forbidden from doing the Omugwo thingy?

At least I know my hubby did Omugwo with our first child but he would not have any MIL tales cos mama'm Onwugo!

''Hello Stella!

Greetings to you! Thanks for the different platforms you use to help people; I must say you are doing a wonderful job.

I have been an ardent reader of your blog for the past 4years. I started commenting few weeks ago with the moniker ‘Mrs. R……’

In the European country I live, they are very family oriented and also believe in something similar to OMUGUO. When a woman gives birth, is either her mother come to stay with her or her mother in-law. She does nothing like cooking or cleaning just to breastfeed the baby if she chooses to do the 40 days compulsory breastfeeding that most people do here or even longer.

When I got pregnant, I didn’t know I was pregnant, I was seeing my menstrual period, and I became very sick as well, the doctors did not run a pregnancy tests because I was on period, but God kept my baby in my womb even with the strong drugs I was taking. It was later I did some online research myself and I told my husband that we should go for a pregnancy test, we did and the result came out positive. But then I was still very sick, I had to stop taking my medications and went to see my gynaecologist.  She checked the baby and my baby was fine. I was admitted at the hospital for more than two weeks because nothing that I put in my mouth goes down. I was always vomiting, I threw up like 20 times a day and I was losing weight speedily.

Meanwhile, while I was 6-7 months pregnant, I still look like I was just maybe 3months gone. Fast forward to 8months, I started adding weight, not like I was fat but I added weight, and one time my sister in-law came and we started discussing about pregnancy body, she was so pissed because I said some women get fat because they consume a lot of fatty food; and she immediately told me I was fat too. (Mind you, she is a fat woman) I just laughed at her because I knew she said it out of jealousy. I was like 37weeks gone and I only added like 8kilos. My legs and my hands were still slim and fit.

Anyways, she promised to come help me at home after delivery and also stay with me at the hospital, as my mother could not come and my mother in-law is no more. On that faithful day, my delivery was very fast, I didn’t even spend up to 2hours before I pushed my baby out and the doctors were thanking me saying I make their works fast and easy for a first time mother.

After I gave birth, this woman did not come on that day, she came the second day with her husband and the first thing she said was; Oh: You don’t even look like someone who just gave birth; your stomach just went inside immediately, she didn’t even touch my baby and she left after 30mins. My friend that came to help me was like, why did she not carried your baby! Is on like her, because she is very used to babies and she carries her grandchildren a lot.

I did not feel bad at all. It all dawns on me when I got home three days after delivery. This woman has promised to cook and bring food for my husband, but nothing like that happened. My husband was exhausted and famished. I told my husband that I will have to order food for him, and eat the leftover food my friend brought for me. I almost cried and that was the day I remembered home (Nigeria).

I Bath my baby the Nigerian way, thank God for Nigeria mothers who always make sure the children of the house are involved while bathing new born. At the beginning my husband was sacred, because t’was his first time of seeing a baby being bathed like that. Although he later got used to it; it was all fun for me doing the bathing, massaging with hot water and massaging with oil.

The first week home was not easy, although my son sleeps well at night and hardly cries. I thank God for the kind of supportive husband I have. He makes sure everywhere was well kempt while I do the cooking. I hate eating out, so I had to step up and cook fresh meal for us. My friend came to help too and i was very happy and pleased. Whereas, my sister in-law did not step her foots into my house until after 40 days. They have the tradition of a woman not going out for forty days after giving birth, mind you; you are not to receive visitors too.

 I have told my husband before I gave birth that I will not be able to abide by that rule; I will have to go to the super market, street market and even church. My husband didn’t have any problem because he thought his sister will be coming to help; but she never came even when she later came to see my baby; she only stayed for like 15mins.

 I was so disappointed because am not the kind of person that expects help from people, I rather help others than be at the receiving end. But this was the only time I would have loved to have a helping hand around. This is a woman I usually help fix her phones, tablet, computer and television because am good at ‘’Programming’’.

I told her wholeheartedly that if my mother in-law was alive she would have been there for me; you have to see the way this woman went banana like I said something provoking.

She left and she never came again after a long time; mind you, her home is like 10blocks away from my home. I thank God for giving me strength to do all things doable. I’m still on the journey and enjoying every bit of it. My son brings me joy and peace.

P.S. Please women that intend to have children should learn how to do the basic things that involve taking care of a new born baby. It can be frustrating sometimes; especially when you have no help.