Omugwo Chronicles - 11

HIAN!!!...This wan pass Omugwo ooooh!

OMGoodness!!!!

Hi Stella,

In 2009, I got a call from one of my 'big aunties' (just one of those aunties that like you but not related) that her cousin is looking for a GF/Wife and  and she needed my permission to give him my no. I said fine give it to him and the next day the guy called and we talked. His calls became frequent and somehow we clicked. He came back every 4 months to visit me. His mother and siblings will call me and text.

He is a physician in the US while I was a final year med student in UI.We are both ibos and from the same place .

In 2012, we got married and I came over to the US. I came in May and his mother came in August. Prior to her coming to the US, I told my hubby that I needed 'us' moment as a newly married couple and asked him to tell his mother to calm down cos she had 6 months to come here  from the time of issuance of her visa.

 He tried discussing it with his mother and siblings and they said( the new wife don change nau nau, that how can I ask their mother not to come to the US after she's been through hell to get her immigrant visa. Apparently , she's been denied a visa before now and she reapplied years later.

The morning after she came, I wore a bump short after bathing to come and prepare lunch and she was like"Hian, Biko don't dress like this.I overlooked it.

In 2013 I had my baby and I couldn't tell my mom to come for OMUGWO cos MIL Was around . I was to be discharged the following day after my delivery and I had made arrangement for a photographer to snap us before going home. 

My MIL in her usual manner dominated the picture moment. She took the baby and will ask her son to come in the pic while I am just standing and watching them. It was a 30 min session that I paid for and at the end of  it, it was mainly my old MIL that was in the pics.It was as if she was the one that had the baby. I overlooked it.

We got home and I was still doing everything despite having her around. Atimes, she will cook for herself and hubby alone.

3 weeks post delivery, hubby decided to take me out. We went  to buy some more baby stuffs. As we got home, MIL descended on me. She said things I can't even repeat here like "I want to finish her son's money, I left my baby to go shopping, is that how my mother trained me, I lack home training , I should never leave my baby with her again etc etc.I felt so bad and cried . I called my parents and told them what happened. They were like I should forget it and be happy. That she's an old woman. My mom called my hubby and told him to talk to his mother to stop giving me wahala.

After like 18 months, I asked hubby when his mother is going back to naija. That I need to know and he said she's just here to get her citizenship. Mind you, you need to stay for about  5  years to file for citizenship as a parent of a citizen. I told him she needed to go to naija because this house was not conducive anymore. She insults me when he's away and when he comes in, she plays nice.

She eventually went to naija and came back after 5 months and the this time was terrible. I tried to ignore her as much as I could. I was unhappy all the time and I was indirectly hurting hubby. I won't cook, fuck, or do those things that "wifey" is supposed to do. Truthfully, he talks to his mother but she doesn't listen. He is the last born and you know ..

June,2015 was my EDD  for baby no 2. I told hubby that his mom needs to go back to naija so I can ask my mom to come for OMUGWO. He said she can't go because she needs to travel less out of the US so she can just get her citizenship. I told him that I will leave his house to somewhere else  but he didn't mind that. I processed visa and all for my mum and she came for OMUGWO 2 weeks after my delivery. She and this Woman will trade insulting Words to each all day. 

She will tell my mom that she came to partake to finish her son's money. 2 months after, my mom packed her luggage and asked me to change her ticket so she could travel to Nigeria  that weekend.Na so I take change the date and she travelled . She told me not to tolerate any nonsense from both hubby and MIL . She told me that hubby is a very weak man and I needed to change that and make him realize that he has a family now.

5 months ago, MIL called me a thief cos she was looking for her slippers and I got so vexed , I went up to her room and gave her a hot SLAP. She called all her kids and told them that I wanted to kill her, that I beat her up etc.Her son came back and was very angry that I slapped her. Anyway, I denied that and still denying that today that  I didn't slap her.

It's been 5 months and things have never been the same. I sleep with one eye open. We are living like flat mates and not as a couple. We only talk about things pertaining to the kids. He said he can't get over the fact I slapped his mother.

I am depressed , unhappy, frustrated and just want to run away.

I want to just divorce him, so he can now marry his mother .

BV's, who has a wicked MIL?

 I work and I have my own money to take care of myself and the kids while waiting to get into residency.

What do I do?