Omugwo Chronicles - 7

Hehehehe...You will be a MIL someday remember?

Dear Stella,

I must say this Omugwo Chronicles is fresh and I really like it, decided to share my own Omugwo gist too. Please hide my details.

I had my first baby naturally and both my MIL and mom were present for the Labour. they even held my legs when i was too weak at a point sef. lol. 

There had never really been any agreement or conversation about who would stay for omugwo as we stayed quite close to my MIL. After the birth, we stayed in the hospital for extra days cos of some complications and thats when drama started, I had gone out of our hospital room for a while and before I came back, my MIL who had washed baby's clothes and mine told my mom that she should go back to her house and she should only be there when her own son had his children.

 Please note that the baby was the first grandchild for both moms o so it was somehow that dear MIL was already marking territory and didn't want my own mom to also enjoy the grandchild experience.

We were eventually discharged a day to the naming and the naming took place at my father in law's house, there was a silent agreement that the baby and I would stay there for a few weeks. though I wasn't quite comfortable with it, my MIL and I have never really been close but we weren't enemies either, we just had this kind tolerating respect for each other.

 3 days after the naming, my hubby and I had a disagreement because we had to go to the hospital and he told my MIL to go with me when he wasnt doing anything at home, we weren't home and he was given a few days 'paternity' leave at work. I expected my mil to also tell him to go with me but she didn't so I was kind of angry at both of them and stayed on my own, wasn't talking much and didn't eat. my MIL got angry too and thought I didn't want to stay with her so she called my husband to come and pick us. 

I begged her tire but she no gree. 

She said a lot of things that day ehn. even returned some of the things I had bought her. She now expressly told me that as I am going home, she doesn't want to see my mom in our house for Omugwo o since I didn't want her to take care of us.

The honest truth is that though I didn't want to leave as she thought but I wasnt so comfortable in her house either, I am kind of a private person and she can be intrusive. The door of the room I was in was always open and I.didn't have any breathing space, always all up in my face and business. I couldn't eat what I felt like eating which was mostly hot liquids at that time without her taking offence. she was upset that I didn't allow her hot water bathe me but I also wasn't comfortable with her bathing my naked body so after the first time she did it I insisted on doing it myself.

After we got home, I was on my own as I couldn't let my mom come as it would seem like I left her house so my mom could come. MIL was coming in the evening to bathe the baby. even that was more work for me sef cos I had to cook for her everyday and stand all through the bathing process. few months went by and I had to resume work, since she stayed close I would drop my son at her place early in the morning and go there in the evening spend some time with her pick my son and then go home to cook and clean.it was quite stressful so hubby suggested that the two moms share the duty, my mom would come for a while, leave and we would do mil's back and forth for a while.

This really eased my stress as I enjoyed my mom being around. She would take care of the baby without me stressing him by waking him too early, he could be in familiar surroundings all day, my mom would take care of the house while I was at work and even start dinner preps sef.

my MIL although liked the idea initially but after a while she started complaining she would call me and start saying all sorts that why should I tell my mom to come, I told her that it was her son that suggested it but no be small war, things were really strained to the point where other people even put mouth sef. 

we.continued with the arrangement sha because there is no law that says which mom should do omugwo. it's whoever the couple is comfortable with and it also depends on individual situations. All this fight on top omugwo is just petty.

shortly after, I got pregnant with my second child, had the baby abroad and had stayed over 2 months before coming back so no omugwo really except when I went back to work. we had also relocated from MIL's area but the arrangement continued, this time with mom and MIL staying with us during their time. At this point relations were strained between the two moms they were having silent fights, up to choosing different side of wardrobe and locking sef. lol. plenty drama. he he he

To conclude my really long story, we women just have wahala is what I have realized. There are some things that are not just worth the trouble we cause, a new baby is a joyful thing and should bring families together. I believe the parents of the new child especially the new mom should be ones to choose who they want to come for omugwo. The first few days/weeks can be really tiring and stressful so whoever is coming should make life as easy for the mom as possible to make the transition to motherhood as stress less as possible.

Thank you for reading this long and boring omugwo story. he he he he he