Dear Satan...Happy Sunday!
Most "Christians" can't stay in church for four hours straight without their bodies itching them or even swearing for the pastor in charge of the sermon!
So, simply remind and convince the populace and they "Christians", that that's exactly how it's going to be in heaven FOREVER without going home to play game or watch match or "flex".
But on the other hand, there will be enough sex, drugs, Highness and money in hell! It will surprise you that their will be way more willing and voluntary people going to hell.
But on the other hand, there will be enough sex, drugs, Highness and money in hell! It will surprise you that their will be way more willing and voluntary people going to hell.
This particular strategy if actualized will not only tip the tides in your favour, but it will be even more effective than what ever current campaign you and your people are carrying on now!
Yours Sincerely,
A Concerned Christian
A Concerned Christian
Akubuine kingdavid
Can't figure
ReplyDeleteSomeone should please explain
Hahahha. He means we don't find church interesting. We are always eager to rush out of God's presence and that if there were a 1-hour Sunday service or even less than an hour service that's the one people would troop into.
DeleteHehehehehe
DeleteThat is why I love these new generation churches, they know all the strategies to get members. They split their services into 3 with one service lasting a maximum of 2hours. So you get to choose the one that will be convenient for you to attend.
Wow! Stella, thanks for posting! Am not much of a writer, I just have this weird imagination!
DeleteOhh, and I didn't write this with the aim of Judgbing any one biko!
Just a perspective!
In as much as what matters most is the heart, I'll like to think that your actions should follow suit too!
Happy Sunday Fam
Akubuine Kingdavid.
Same here.
DeleteInfact let me sleep and by morning my eyes ll be clear to understand it.
Hmmm
DeleteWhat joy shall fill my heart if I make heaven. Nice one king David
DeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteShall we continue in sin that the grace of God may abound?
DeleteGod forbid!!!?
Rom6:6
Rom 6:1
DeleteBrother, you will serve God twenty four hours a day, seven days a night if there is anything like that. Purge your flesh of the sex you are thinking of cos bro there is more to life than all those. The married would testify. Not judging you though but from ur pics (if that is ur pics), u appear young and free.
DeleteSmall mkpi
DeleteI can't decipher any meaning from this write-up, or I should say it's not complete.
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
Why can't guys open their mouths and ask girls they like out? Why assume that the person knows what's going on in their hearts? This is the 3rd guy telling me I should have known from his actions. Am I a mind reader? And to think I liked him then and was honestly praying he says something to me. Nonsense. Now he is asking me out when I'm with someone else. God punish devil
DeleteDear poster I put it to u that u're not a believer but an instrument in the hand of lucifer to lure people to hell!
DeleteImagine u trying to paint hell like its all fun & games. Like for real tho?
There is not even an iota of fun in hell, only weeping & gnashing of teeth. Kapish!
Me am at home praising my God. No be to go church be the matter, but your heart matters alot. Anybody that knows frank edward should please tell him i love him so much. God bless you for your sweet music.
ReplyDeleteSmall people can do wonders. Your music is making me go gaga. Btw i love roman reigns, i cant wait for him to beat that arrogant rollins today.
@ no time to live ass... am so connected to wwe network to watch the Samoa king Roman Reigns beat the hell out of Rollins.
DeleteWow, thats goodnews. I cant wait to watch it. Thanks nkem
DeleteMe am at home praising my God. No be to go church be the matter, but your heart matters alot. Anybody that knows frank edward should please tell him i love him so much. God bless you for your sweet music.
ReplyDeleteSmall people can do wonders. Your music is making me go gaga. Btw i love roman reigns, i cant wait for him to beat that arrogant rollins today.
Hian! So is he saying it's good to go to church or not? Or its good to go to hell nd enjoy! #confusedmuch
ReplyDeleteI'm at home right now
DeleteI'm tired of going to church, infact church is over rated. I will worship God from home mbok. When there is life, there is hope. Thank you LORD.
This is a question please. Is it going to church that make me a good Christian? I'm asking because I rarely go to church but I pray a lot and try to keep the commands and I don't fornicate. When I pray, I see things and anything I see or hear comes to pass but I try as much to avoid visions as I don't wish to go so deep. I get turned off when I go to some churches or services how so called Christians behave. The weekly adverts, text messages to remind me to be in church I feel are not necessary. As a Christian, am I on the right path?
ReplyDeleteFriend, you are going to serve God not man. The Bible says do not forget the gathering of the people. In my own opinion, going to church also matters
DeleteFaith comes from hearing, and hearing the word of God...
DeleteSomeone please put a bible verse to this cos i cant remember
Brethren there lies your answer
Going to church does not make you a better christian but helps you to be one. Its good to fellowship together and believe you me, it makes you wary of sin.
DeleteWhy do u feel the text messages aren't necessary? Going to church is good because u as a good n strong believer can help mould the young convert n be a mentor to some of them. You have received Christ isn't it right n proper to give back to the body of Christ by having fellowship with brethren 1John 1:7. Really wish I can talk with you
DeleteNa una sabi jare!
ReplyDeleteGuilty as charged
ReplyDeleteWho ever wrote this thrash should shut up!...
ReplyDeleteIt's people like you that will end up in hell!...
Pple with their stupid mentality.
DeleteSo, church is now ticket to heaven?
Its pple like this writer will sell ticket at hell fire on the last day.
Calm down people! Thou shall not worry for not hell nor heaven exists but fiery tales
DeleteI didnt go to Church but that doesn't mean am going to hell!
ReplyDeleteLol.. Letter to Satan on Change of strategy.
ReplyDeleteThe writer is already doings the "Devil's work"
Is it by staying 4hrs in church that one will go to heaven?
ReplyDeleteBut why will i stay in church for 4hrs when its not a vigil?
Why not go and camp(mountain) so you study the word and pray long hours without disturbance?
How many hours will the pastor preach?
Ok lets say...praise and worship/hyms..1hr,prayer 1hr,preaching 2hrs?
Do you want him to start repeating the things he already said from the beginning of the sermon?it is not by the quantity of words,it is the 'quality'.
That is what we will do in heaven? That is why it is called Heaven! We will spend our enternity there. Is church your enternity?
Lastly,I hope you went to church with a clean heart and not doing eye service or bn a bench warmer. Because you sound like a Judgina
6:30 mass. Simply the best
ReplyDeleteBut poster who told you ppl dont play games and flex in heaven? I really need to know.
ReplyDeleteHeaven isnt boring,it is full of fun,okay?
I guess this letter is directed to Satan. I hv nothing to contribute since I hv no relationship with him.
ReplyDeleteBut he is still the son of God, right?
DeleteAlways, I ask God to fill me with more longing for His presence. Give me a hunger for His Word and help me to love everything about Him: His Church, His Word. Because every time we pray to go to heaven. What is Heaven? Heaven is where God is. It'd be just us and Him: no distractions like social media and tv. But His presence and Glory forever. If I can't abide 3-4 hours of His presence on Sunday or 1-2 hours on weekdays, how do I want to stay with Him forever in Heaven?
ReplyDeleteThis world is not my home, I'm just passing through. And I must remember to lay up treasures in heaven. Not here where they'd rot away. The time is short and I find myself thinking always, If Jesus were to be right in front of me now, would He be proud of me? If He comes or if I die would I hear "well done, thou good and faithful servant", or "depart from me I never knew you"? And always, I beg for mercy. Like, I don't deserve His love or care or goodness. And nothing I do could ever merit them. But I try to be worthy of Him, by living righteously, and making Him happy so if the world is turning upside down, He can say that, there's my daughter, who is faithful to me. And I'm clinging to that old rugged cross, till I exchange it someday for a crown.
May God help us.
Wow!!
DeleteThis is the deepest thing I have read all week! May God grant you all your heart desires and forever draw you closer to him!
Nne, you are the wife Material we have been searching for since 1900!... Lol
Akubuine Kingdavid
Akubuine, we have heard u are a Randy goat. And u are still here soliciting? Ok nah. The blog voltrons are coming.
DeleteAm normally a church goer but I didn't go this morning, asides being tired from my outing yesterday, I am just feeling so down.
ReplyDeleteEveryone is shouting happy Father's Day, I lost mine 10yrs ago and it's left a big vacuum in my life. I wish he was still here.
Perhaps that's why I have been so desperate to get married, have kids and have my own family. Friends displaying pics of their husbands and kids of happy Father's Day. When will I display mine?
All I have is beauty. Since my fiancée broke up with me 2yrs ago I am yet to meet anyone I could even date,not to talk of marry. One took advantage of me just cos I was desperate to settle down. He started acting funny after begging and pleading to date me. After I started liking him, did a 360 and stopped calling, texting. I gave myself brain and left the situationship.
Lord I have prayed, fasted and prayed some more. Beginning to loose hope on mornings like this. Sometimes my faith is strong, sometimes it is non existent.
Ps- not looking for internet lover. Only in reality. Thank you
Mmmmhmmmm.... Ask for the peace of the Holy Spirit.
DeleteMeaningless.
ReplyDeleteHow can it be exactly the same way in heaven? who told you in heaven one pastor would stand somewhere and be talking forever? Youre comparing the madness and disco and social rubbish going on in churches these days as what will be obtainable in heaven? Ure a joker.In heaven there would be true and timeless worship of a God we would forever be in awe of. The underlying factor here being TRUE! Are u kidding me? Look, If u really need to write something in favour of God cause you love him,why not ask the Holy spirit for inspiration? Pick up your Bible,go to the book of Revelation and get a slight understanding of what heaven will be like.comparing churches on earth to what heaven will be like is just a joke that's not even funny. And who even made u chief adviser to Satan anyway? I wish you well though,cus I know u meant well. I pray the eyes of your understanding be flooded with light.take care.
ReplyDeleteDepends on who's officiating. For today? 4 straight hours. And the MEN danced to 2 songs. Hahaha.
ReplyDelete1..E gbe Jesu mi ga, Jesu mi ju, Jesu mi ife(Yoruba)
2..Jesus e bunigo mu enu higher higherrrrrrr(Igbo)
I loooooove Sunday service biko.
Our God is a good God
Huh?????
ReplyDeleteMy own is, why do guys always make it look compulsory for females to always go to church, while they stay home and it's not an issue?
ReplyDeleteI remember sometime back, I hadn't visited church for over a month or so, and my nosy male neighbor was eternally on my case "try and go to church, you are a lady", bla bla bla
But the idiot was at home too. Goat!
Clown
DeleteOh! Wonders shall never end. King David of all people is preaching? I've known King David Akubuine C.for many years nd everyone that knows him is aware that he is Owerri's number one fuck boy.tho from a good christian home but he sleeps with anything dat has a hole. Abeg, before u open ur mouth to talk about d affairs of d church, fix ur wandering dick problem. I'm out!!!
ReplyDeleteJeesu!
Deletehmmm
ReplyDeleteThe thing about hell is that there is absolutely no form of fun. It is just sadness and bitterness. Some of the things we chase after are not important and and neccessary, many of these things lead us astray and off the part planned for us by God. Just be focused and ask God for grace to overcome.
ReplyDelete