Hmmm this is really really deep...
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
BABY MAMA SITUATION AND LETTING THE FAMILY DOWN..
Hi Stella and my fellow bvs I have a situation. (Dear Stella please hide my email)
I have a love child with someone. Let me call him Mr P.
he has been taking responsibility for my child since I conceived till now. We are not married and we are not getting married. He is single and I am single too. We have a cordial relationship because of our child. The reason we are not married is because we don’t just get along. We speak about things that concern our child only and sometimes business. We hang out occasionally.
He has been to our house and my siblings know him. My parents are separated. My dad and his people are not aware of my child because I am not in good terms with my dad (long story). Things have been a bit bizarre lately because at a point, I had to take my child to my mum to help cater for him while I look for work (six figures) and get my life back. The child is still with her and Mr P takes care of all financial and material things involved in raising the child.
I thought everything was in place until my brother sent me this disturbing message last night on something he calls "the true expectations and situation of my condition" (I asked him for an article to update my site because he is a good writer and this was his response. I've been dumb folded since I got this message and believe me, I still can't sleep)
The message read thus
"Sis u need to be careful, u really need to be. Mr p will ruin u if u don't take time. Among all of us, u were the one mum spent the highest to train, believe me she deserves a bottle of drink on your head for her efforts at least. The path you are going is already a disappointment on her and all of us. Sometimes it's best we give thorough reflections on the implications of things before venturing into them. I really hate the situation of things between u and Mr P, i hate it with passion. i sometimes wonder if it was the best idea to have him involved with the up keeps of this child when he isn't coming for u. This is the reason why mum went to a prayer ministry in a nearby state. I don't know how that bothers u but to me, it's a sheer disgrace. When i go to village and people ask me about u, i feel so ashamed to tell them about your real situation. Everybody is ashamed, everybody, it's pathetic. U need to intensify your spiritual life and allow God to help u bring things back into shape, it shouldn't be a task left for mum alone. Mum has lost her self-esteem in almost all the groups she belongs because of the state of her marriage, and now her children, why should we be compounding her woes? She didn't do anything wrong to take up the task of training us when everybody thought we were doomed, now instead of celebrating her we are pilling shame on her; that's wickedness. Nobody has told u this I'm sure, so lemme be the first to do that. U asked for an article, this is the one i have for now, we are not happy with u deep within our hearts''.
My mom is a single mom and raised three of us single handedly. I schooled in the diaspora. I just got a place to stay and a little job plus business that I'm doing by the side till things normalizes for me financially. My questions now are:
1. Should I tell Mr P to stop taking care of our child? So that he won't be able to claim the child? My brother would be happy maybe. He is the only son.
2.How soon should I go bring my child to come stay with me (he is seven months old)
3. What can I do to reward my mom for all her efforts? I'm yet to get a befitting job that can take care of her and meet her expectation. My family's expectation is killing me.
BVs, What do I do?
Poster, I'm in the same situation as you. My dad is late and my mum raised us single-handedly ,now I have a son and I'm not married. I know it hurts my mum but what will I do. I'm trying my best as even my job is nothing to write home about pay wise and I'm in my late 20s but still, I make sure she doesn't ask b4 doing, I try to assist around d house bill wise, I don't allow her spend on my child except on rare cases cos she didn't ask me to go get pregnant, I keep praying and pray g fro things to get better and for my own man to locate me. My brother kept malice with me till my son was born so I know how they are feeling. I would have been married by now but my mum keeps insisting that she doesnt want me to make d same mistake she made.
ReplyDeleteWhat you can do for your mum is not to repeat the same mistake and always make her HAPPY.
I have to go anon on this.
He's the owner of the child so No, he has to continue taking care of the child.
DeleteOnce you're settled, go and take your son and cater well for him.
As for your mum, just don't try not to get preggos again until you're in your husband's house. Try and get her gifts. You know your mum best so you'll know exactly what makes her happy.
Everybody makes mistakes, just ask for wisdom to know the right things to do.
Kpele, it's well.
LMFAO hahahahahaha @ u asked for an article, this is one
DeleteWow...I'm glad u went annon on this cos many pple will use it to tab u later but I tell u sis u have nothing to be ashamed of...I respect all single mothers ...no matter the circumstances u were or got urself into by having ur baby,u are still a warrior...train dat child of urs(poster and annon) and do ur best for ur mum....Tnk God u have good ones
Delete@ Poster don't worry about ur bro....don't go AND do things cos of what he is saying about u...he doesn't know ur reasons...ur man will come ...don't trust my words but trust God
God bless u both (annon and poster)
I can imagine how u feel...hmmm, mine was when my sis got pregnant at age 21, it was the biggest 'disgrace' ever for my parents. They are pastors in a big church and they had to face the whole congregation of workers over 10000 ppl to announce what their child did, afterwards they had to step down from their posts....it was a difficult time but they took it with grace.
DeleteU can imagine how much pressure was on me as the only other girl... I had to decide on team virgin to prevent stories that touch...each time I got weary of keeping myself...I rmbr my family and just keep forging on...that period almost broke us all. Luckily I met a man who believes anyone who is not ready to father a child should not even be having an erection let alone sex... And that was how we made it, in addition to the fact that we had mad love for each other.
So after five years of dating we got married and trust me the sex has been great.
@poster, I think u should give ur family a bit more time to get over the disappointment. Also try and encourage them by ur subsequent decisions. I think they need an apology and tendering one to them might fix the whole situation and get them on ur side .
Let them know how u feel too and together u guys can go through this as a family.
DD
DeleteEya....Sorry dear @Anonymous "orubebe"
Delete@Galore
Don't worry we know who you are... take care, your man will locate you.
DeleteGosh I feel like crying for this poster, talk about bad history repeating itself and btw your brother is an excellent writer, I loved his right up, it really touched me and endeared you to me.
DeleteMy advise to you is to stop 'hanging' out with Mr P, he's a Destiny destroyer! He got you pregnant but doesn't want the responsibility of marriage yet he's blocking your chances of getting a better man by hanging out, what's that nonsense?
And you need to give yourself brain naa, let Mr P take care of his child from far cos whether you like it or not he's gonna claim that boy someday.
I just feel for you and your mom but don't let anyone or their disapproval pressure you into overstressing yourself and doing something worse, the mistake was made but your child is a gift. Get your child from your mom when you are financially stable and may God help you to do what's right.
U don't need to state u are going anonymous, say what ever u have to say and move on,this is a blog,everybody is anonymous
DeleteI know u.
Deletelisten, i was in the same situation, my mum was ashamed but she was there for me my siblings were there for my too , my life was a mess, i changed location, was with my mum sista, who was and still is my saving grace, all becos one Mr U.F realize he couldn't go ahead with the wedding we planned for , 2day before the trad. baby daddy drama that almost tore I and my family apart , first i was hoping we would come back 2geda , next it was for my babys upkeep, but he failed and is still failing, stop hanging out with ur baby daddy, if he wants to sponsor the child no problem, else don't beg him to. leave ur child with ur mum for now with or without u the child will survive, apologize to u mum u owe her that, Babe get ur life together,talk to ur bro, my daughter just turned four, my a doctor , happily married now, with a man dat adorned me , even when I easing comfortable with my boby esp boobs and expecting our child, listen be happy , get a better job, smile even when u don't feel like , take urself out and stop hanging out with ur baby daddy, make new friends jare, start shining , today my father is happy , everyone is happy too and my lil cuteness is expecting a brother. sorry for all the typo errors, i love u babe. enjoy urself, let's I forget stat buying movie with happy ending or novel. muah.
DeleteYour brother has no right to talk to u this way...Like how dare him? ...Smh..He is the only boy and so bloody what?...Who only brother Don help? ..mtcheew..Nigerian mentality sucks
DeleteAnnon@ 19:21. U are a doctor? Like seriously? Dem no teach u simple grammar for uni or for mefical school abi wetin? With dat kind grammar, make Hod no go let person sick for your hospital o.....u r a Doctor ni. Everybody go come here dey develop personality.
DeleteNo don't tell him and dat wouldn't even make him ur brother completely happy. Your child been with ur mom is not a prob so far you always pay him visit and when u re financially stable dat would be fine. always put ur mom in prayers dats ur best gift ever and try make a time with her to let her knw how story u re and regretting ur act and beg her to forgive u and bless you
DeleteAnon 22:42 is it not the same error you made when you wrote 'mefical'? At least she apologized for hers. Yeye dey smell
DeleteThe more I read d comments d more upset I become. How can I still b nursing anger 7 months after the child is born. Ur brother had 9 months to come to terms with the situation and yet he is still this angry and disappointed. In fact poster I initially said u shldnt take ur child away in a haste but it's obvious dey don't hv a forgiving spirit make dem no come dey transfer aggression to d child. Abet find small job sharp sharp make u go carry ur pikin from the house. Thank God ur baby daddy is supportive. Abegie!!!!!!some of u make it look like she committed murder... see their mouth like condom or posterior as if postenoir doesn't fail or dere aren't defective condoms. For all u know she even tried to abort it but sum kids hv strong head and dey won't go anywhere. Judge mental ppl. Sum of u talking now, a year from now wld find ursekves in her position and u wld tell me if it was in ur place to judge and still condemn her. I am not a baby mama but I hv one as a relative and I can never judge her or castigate her for what has already happened. Do we knw what God has planned for the future of the child.
DeleteMaybe for now keep him out of your house. Your brother's message to you is very emotional. Pls for the sake of sweet mom. I think they want you to get married. Please call him and ask him more of what they really want from you.
ReplyDeleteStop hanging out with Mr P,you need to move on,your baby is just 7months old so if you and Mr p where cool just 9 months ago and after a baby you guys are no longer getting along? And you re still hanging out with him? Ontop what now? Pls put him aside,work hard to improve your income,leave your baby with ur mum and let mr p continue paying the bills. Buy little gifts u can afford for ur mum and always assure her that you will sure make her proud soonest.
DeleteStop hanging out with mr p,u are single so act like it if not you'll be sending a message to potential suitors that u are a long distance couple thats all.
DeleteU go school at all?? 16 months ago.. a 7 month old baby was conceived 16 months ago... *facepalm*
DeleteLol your maths is so wrong. In all they've been "cool" for 16 months. A year and 4 months.
Delete@anon19:57, your the daft one , extremely daft I might add, dead meat, if you have nothing better to say , shut up! And pls remind again 9months and a 7month old child add up to ... What? 16 frigin months ago ... Onye ara!
DeleteI am late to the party but I will still comment because I am in a similar situation. I am 24 and my baby is 5months and living with me. No intentions of marrying his dad. Go and pick your child. Leaving him/her with your mum increases their shame especially when people ask who's baby and when they say you the next question is ahn when did she get married. Telling them you are not married is where the shame comes in. You need to pick up your baby and move to a different city if you haven't and give them especially your mum space to heal and not be in her face. I live alone in another city, my siblings and my mum visit from time to time and we are all recovering from the hurt, shame and disgrace as my mum termed it, but I understand her shame because this is Nigeria and her generation considered it a big taboo. So, go and take your child, his dad can continue supporting him and if you work there are daycares he can attend. Go and take your child so they ll all have space to heal. Goodluck
DeleteDear poster. do everything anon 14.24 said. that's excellent advice. go get your baby. The family disappointment will reduce when the baby is no longer in their face. If you can't afford creche, you can get a home nanny. that's a cheaper option. stay blessed hun. I'm proud of you for not resorting to abortion. #Teamlife
DeleteI've noticed there's a special grace attached to single mothers, they Marry the best of men later on.
DeleteWhat you should do for your mum?... buy her gifts, spend time with her, and GET A HUSBAND
Hmmmm, ur brother just poured out his heart and hopefully your mum's heart out to u. Stop hanging out with Mr P. Why r u guys still hanging out self? So u can get pregnant again?
ReplyDeleteThings r not going well btw u guys so ur talk should involve just your child and the child alone.
Explain to ur broda that u r not financially stable to cater 4 the child alone that's why his father is in the picture.
But wait, after seeing ur mum's condition, u should av been smarter and wiser than this nau. Haba!!!
From ur right up, u sound like a nice person. Don't worry about ur mum. Just do any thing 'minor' or 'major' that can make her smile. Talk to her, buy wrappers for her and if possible take her out and explain things to her. As for ur baby, leave him/her with ur mum till u settle down. At least, for now focus on your self and leave Mr P alone
Asin eh. I'm not trying to be judgemental but girls should be wiser na. Dt was how my neighbour's girl whom she took from her widowed mum went n got pregnant.. Dis is a girl that went to secondary school in her house, and was in 200l wen she fucked up.. My neighbour was so good to dis girl that we all thought they were sisters... She had to send her back to the village..
DeleteI mean you know where you're coming from,that alone should be able to restrain you from doing certain things. And even if you must, use ur brain... Condom is not expensive.
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteI don't know why STELLA didn't post my previous comment but I have zero pity for this girl.
DeleteAll I see is her being a selfish child to a woman who stood by you all her life. You should bury your head in shame for making your mum run to church programmes for you when you're not going through a problem of natural cause.
What rubbish? You say they are expecting too much from you. When she was investing in your education you didn't complain that she invested too much on you? Too whom much is given much is expected.
Have u even had a heart to heart with your mum? Instead of u to return to naija and look for job or grow a small business you went and gbenshed and told her 'I'm back' with a baby. I don't even know what to tell you.
But let me make it clear to you that as a first daughter (I believe you are) and a supposedly good child it is important you think of your parents who sacrificed for you before you take some decisions. Now you dump the child with her so you can 'live your life' on the pretext of hustling. Imagine that I pay fees abroad as a parent and this is what I get? And u tell me my expectations are high! Don't sit up be looking for who to soothe your silliness.
Girls whose mothers have suffered are always very careful of their decisions. Your own case is obviously different. U think because baby daddy is taking care of baby today it will always be. Just wait let him marry one Jezebel then you see yourself reliving your mums life.
DeleteU didn't know you guys didn't get along when u were gbenshing and getting belle. Now when u born a whole human being you are arguing that you don't get along. How about you thinking of that before u taking in?
If you like continue gbenshing guys you don't get along with and getting pregnant you hear? And tell me if this is the way to go about getting six digit salary
Ehnnn chikito so u can judge sum1,no wahala. I kmw u aren't really a runs girl. Anyways only ppl who hv any right to judge this girl are virgins or ppl who have neva had an abortion. Pls if u have ever aborted I take God beg u shut up ur trap cos u are worse than the poster.
DeleteKikikikikikikiki buh obviously if u don't get along with someone u can't get along with d person in bed too na lol...Mr P should keep providing for d child cos u have nothing now..leave d child with ur Mum if u want to marry soon...u know u are a product of a broken home nd u didn't put condom in ur bag!
DeleteChikito you are just a stupid judgemental bitch....shut up already
DeleteAnon 00:39- i'm not judging but the truth has to be told. We women need to start thinking so that we make life easier for ourselves and our families. For no one in her house to be able to tell her to her face, she's probably feeling like a pampered egg. She's most likely a preferred child that's why shes getting this level of soothing talk from her bro instead of her mum. I dare not try this at home!!@
DeleteBaby Oku- thank you! Truth tellers are always hated. I'm used to it nah
There are some trends we should not just allow to continue in the family before it becomes a curse on our generation yet unborn. You know your mum is a single mother, instead of you to hold yourself, you towed same part. The deed has been done anyway... I pray God changes your situation for the best!
ReplyDeleteMy exact thoughts.
DeletePoster, Mr P has every right to keep taking care of his child, you hear me?
Don't be selfish! If he had denied the pregnancy, you would still come here to complain and say all men are wicked.
You knew your family's condition and still went ahead to add more headache.
And why the hell are you still hanging out with the dude? Your child is just 7months and suddenly, it became evident you both do not get along, but you got along previously to hang legs and collect raw prick?
Continue to hang out. Baby no.2 loading.
LOL! End time brother@ You asked for an article,this is it.
DeleteI actually understand how he feels,how disappointed your mom must have felt... but the deed has been done. And it produced a blessed Child.
Way forward?
Let Mr P remain just the father of your child. No hanging out. His input in the welfare of his child is allowed.
Focus on building your life and career,that's where you will get enough income to change your Mom's life.
Your brother will come around eventually.
Just conduct yourself very well so that your Momma will see that she's not keeping your child so you can go buck wild.
When you are capable..your child can come stay with you,only if you have a reliable person that can take care of the kid while you work oooh.
All the best! You are special,because you refused to cower in shame and terminate that pregnancy. Ciao
Dear poster ,
ReplyDeleteUr bro writes so well . 😁😁😁😁
Showing off ur "olodoism" so u didn't get d msg? Na only write-up u see
DeleteLmao....you ain't right!!!!
DeleteOh shut it..
DeleteLmao @world ppl
DeleteI have seen situations like this.poster dear your mum and your siblings are not happy with the fact that you had a baby out of wedlock and you are happily hanging with the man..the broken home is enough for her already and that is the problem..Mr p can be doing his fatherly duties from afar..paying monthly allowances and all I understand that you are trying to keep a cordial relationship with him because of your baby..but he shouldn't be around very often..a lot of mother's see this as a disgrace. .the father of your child who don't want to marry you hanging around with you...try and talk with your mother..is there something you are not doing right?..'re evaluate your life,find God and your will be fine. Most importantly,Mr p should stop hanging around too much.
ReplyDeleteShe obviously hasn't talked to the woman to even know how she feels. She's just assuming and living selfishly. May God show your mother mercy honestly. She needs Him now.
DeleteMadam go and bring your child today today . Do you know what your mum is passing through ?
ReplyDeleteTraining you guys thinking everything will be alright soon and you brought a love child into the world. Why not stay with your baby since the guy is taking care of him financially? Be a mother and take responsibility of your child . Don't leave the baby for your mum. You know she can't say no to you but she's feeling pain . Did you send u to school abroad to pick up their character?
Since the child is here, sister you are blessed , take care of him
Get a nanny the babies father will pay for the services , even pay the accommodation where u are staying with his child. Cut off all relationship with him since you guys ain't getting married so you will face your life and future . You will still marry you know ?
But don't deny that child his or her father ...stay blessed and strong.
What can you do? You can live your life for you. You can take responsibility for your action by having a heart to heart talk with your mom. You can also talk with your siblings. In the next two to three years every one will get used to you being a single mom. Mr P has a right to his baby, you cannot stop him from taking care of his child. You can only stop him from taking him away from you. If your mom is not happy taking care of your child Go and carry the baby and let him/her start staying with u. You are not the first to birth a child out of wedlock and you won't b d last. You can set out a certain amount of you earnings for your mom monthly. You can buy her the little things you can afford.
ReplyDeleteIf people keep on listening to what society has to say they'll never be great. People will always talk.
ReplyDeleteFirst stop I want to congratulate you for not aborting the child.
Trust me when I say you shouldn't cut off the man. Marriage isn't by force and he's being the most responsible person ever for taking care of his child. Some women in marriage don't even have this. You don't know what tomorrow holds for either of you so please keep on being cordial with him. Don't deny a child It's father because of unnecessary self consciousness.
It's quite unfortunate that you and your mum happened to be single mothers but shit happens and you both should draw strength from each other.
As for your brother he is just lashing out and overreacting.
When people say that you should pray harder I just laugh because as close as Abraham was to God he didn't get his blessings until he was impossibly old. So if you like pray from now till tomorrow. Sleep in church forever it's at God's appointed time your blessings will come.
Keep up with your job search. Also, go on your knees and apologise to your mum. Promise her that you'll be settled soon. Tell her how much you appreciate her for taking good care of her grandchild and promise her that all will be well. Promise her that you would never ever disappoint or hurt her again. She is your mother and a good one so she'll understand.
To foster peace, call your siblings together. Thank them and apologise for making people mock them. Beg them to always pray for you and tell them that you need their support as a family.
You all seem like reasonable people so everything good will come in the end.
1 million likes. You took words from my mouth
DeleteBest comment! Great advise xx listen to anonymous 15:41. Wisdom lies in the comment.
DeleteWell said. May God's wisdom in you increase. Poster please follow what anonymous 15:41 just posted. It is the present day reality. May God restore your lost glory and may your mother live long with sound health of mind and body to enjoy the fruit of her labour.
DeleteI need to find u and give u lots of kisses 😘😘😘😘😘😘 whether u be man abi woman
DeleteWe need more of ur type here
May ur source of sense never run dry!
I love u o😍
Best comment ever!!!
DeletePoster this Anon makes sense. If Mr P stops caring for the baby, how will you cater for the baby?? The same people you are worried about; some of them would die to have a baby like you.If you die tomorrow sef; they won't give two f***s about you.
DeleteVery very sound advice. Kudos.
DeleteMr P fathered your child and so he should take responsibility financially for the child's upkeep. However, if the chapter of a relationship between you two is honestly closed, then you must not allow his presence in your life to prevent a potential husband. Your family can probably see that you are wasting your time hanging around a man that is not ready to go all the way, and that's where the point of not letting him care is coming in so as to cut ties with him finally. But while I think he must pay the child's bills, you should put yourself out there and be open to a new relationship and don't let him spoil your chances. BTW, my comment is made under the assumption that you want to get married at some point. And importantly too, talk with your family. The lines of communication have been opened. Let them know esp your mum that you love and appreciate them and will make them proud regardless of what has happened jn the past. Love makes it all okay. What has happened has happened ans with love you will all be fine. Talk to each other to avoid bottled up hard feelings. I wish you all the best.
ReplyDeleteHmm this is deep. Poster take things easy for now, allow mr P to take care of the baby afterall the baby will still look for him incase he opts out now so its his responsibility to cater for child, only what you need to do is to explain the whole situation to your family. Then organise your life and start afresh, distance yourself from mr P so that he will give you space for another relationship, no time is late. Do not make another mistake please dnt let that woman die before her time.
ReplyDeleteI sincerely pity your mother.
ReplyDeletePlease go and collect ur baby from her. Allow her to rest. She did not commit any crime by giving birth to you.
U should hv think about the consequences of your actions.before hanging leg for Windows and receiving prick, skin to skin from a man dat has not paid your bride price.
Dat's why I can never gbensh any girl I will not be able to marry.
I can still remember one beautiful girl I spent a lot of money to get.
But the day we were about she said something dat surprised me and also revealed that I can never be happy being with her.I just told her to wear her pants and clothes. dat I want to lock my house and go somewhere urgent.
James na lie joor..
DeleteChai Lmao, James! James! U r such a walking contradiction.
DeletePoster, I'm sorry but your brother has no right to judge you. Is his own life perfect? Of course not. Even his so called good writing skills are non - existent. You are a single mum by choice and that must be respected. Your child's father is in your lives, being very responsible and that should also be respected. Most women would have done anything to marry the man but you seem to know yourself.
ReplyDeleteTrust me all those nosy narrow - minded meeting women that your mum is feeling embarrassed around have very dirty secrets.
You are on the right path. Keep looking for a job for the sake of yourself and your son.
Your brother needs to face his own life. And please don't get me wrong but your mum brought you into the world so it was her job to raise you. I'm not saying you shouldn't show her gratitude - she certainly deserves it but you shouldn't be made to feel guilty. And by the way she didn't stay married to your dad and that may have influenced your situation.
My advice to you is to not make any decisions based on your brother's opinion. Nothing can be achieved from you feeling bad. You'll just live in shame. For what? Face your original plans and be thankful that your case is so much better than so many others out there.
1m likes for this comment
DeleteIn your attempt to make the poster feel better, you're really complicating things and giving her the wrong perception of things. You can't bring down other people to make yourself look good. Why did you bring up her mother's broken marriage? Why should you point out her brother's imperfections? Why did you choose to judge? Her brother's comment if you ask me is filled with love from the voice of a heart broken soul, he didn't just speak for himself but for their mother who was their pillar (did you even read properly?).
DeleteDear poster, you've made the mistake and your super mom as usual is taking all the responsibilities, she blames herself for what's happening, she doesn't even blame you, she feels she laid down the bad examples. Just call your family together and tell your mom not to blame herself for your mistakes and reassure her that she's the strongest person you know.
As for your brother he seems really intelligent and asking him what he expects of you even though he seems to be younger (sounds like they all look up to you). If you can't be with your baby daddy then stop hanging out occasionally.
The Lord is your strength and with your hardwork and constant calling in God's name, the period will pass.
@Oge please what part of her brother's article provides her with a solution? What's the point of telling her she made a mistake? He's being judgemental. It is typical of us men and serves no other purpose than to judge. You say he's emotional. Of what value is that to the poster? Your point of view to me is very narrow. Like most people you like to pick on the one who has proof of her so called mistake meanwhile the difference between her and most of you women here is that she didn't have an abortion.
DeleteAnd the poster has a very cordial relationship with her child's father. This is the best they can have for now. Must we see the bad in every situation? And yes her mum's marriage affected her which I'm guessing is why she chooses to stay single. Single mothers often raise single mothers.
My daughter's mum has kept her from me for 4 years. Why? Because I decided I couldn't marry her. So I pay money for my daughter to live well but I can't see her. It is affecting her but her mum will not see past her own shame.
This poster has her head on her shoulders but people like you act like having a child outside marriage is a crime.
Ah anon 15:47, u just took the words outta my mouth. Who is that your brother to judge you? Does he think it's easy to swallow all and keep pregnancy, when you know the pros and cons of deleting the tin sharp sharp? If he is your older brother, he should know better than listening or thinking of what people say about the family. Who their opinion epp? Those people's children are even worse. For God sake you are in your late 20's you are old enough to take decisions. I pray u find a good job and go get your baby as soon as possible. Tell baby papa to support you in getting atleast a one bedroom flat. Mummy's reaction is normal, she'll come around soon. Show her some love and gratitude though.
DeleteAnon 15:47 ekuse!
DeleteWhat happens to being a mermaid? Now she is looking for 6 figure job ( how greedy), instead of looking for something to hold on to for now.
DeleteJust maybe she might gbensh another man to get the 6 figure job,gets pregnant again, and the circle continues (single mother).
You wanted an article, you got one.
Babe, please get a job, it doesn't have to be 6 figures, take care of you and your child + your mother.
@Anon 01:22- ehn oh.... now shouting 6 figure job that should have been her focus from the onset. Me that everyday i wish i did my Bsc abroad. With the things I was able to achieve with a Nigerian BSc I sometimes wonder how far I would have gone with a foreign first degree and the added perks that come with it on a Nigerian employers table. Which is why I saved my whole life history to be able to bag a foreign Masters degree and God helped me achieve it, without the help of ANY family. Yet a young lady had the opportunity with the help of a struggling mother and she's not even helping matters for the womam. E don pain me ehn
DeletePoster sorry about ur situation. However, being a single parent is not the end of the world. Ur brother is being too judgemental because he doesn't know tomorrow. He might also have a broken marriage someday who knows! That ur baby daddy is catering for ur son and both of you have a somewhat good relationship is a good step towards ur child's emotional development. Pls you are an adult and the deed has been done. They should let you leave ur life in peace. I would say you should care for ur son by urself once he turns 1. Get a good nanny and a good crèche. Take up ur responsibility so they have nothing to insult you over.
ReplyDeleteDear poster,
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to read that your family is not happy about your situation. Though it is understandable, it does not warrant your brother sending you a long emotional epistle about how you are a disappointment to the whole family.
First and foremost we all make mistakes; yours being you fornicated (that is if you are a Christian)
However, your CHILD IS NOT A MISTAKE; a child is a blessing from God hence you better start viewing your child that way, rather than as a burden as your brother is depicting. If they claim to be so spiritually upright, then they should act accordingly.
A true Christian brings an aura of light, not darkness. Your family should be your support system emotionally and spiritually.
Your child deserves a father that cares and wants to be responsible; therefore telling your child's father to stop supporting financially is horrid; yes, you can stop hanging out with him, but he deserves to come around and visit his child.
If your brother were in this guys shoes, he would also want to see his child.
Your brother and mom and other family members need to set aside their disappointment, and act like genuine family members that love you. At this moment it seems that they care more about protecting the family's image than you.
You need to TOUGHEN UP; pray to God to bless you with a great job, so that you can move out, and support yourself, your child, and others need be.
With regards the father of your child turning into a monster later, that is out of your control; commit it to God. Why do you have to act out of fear by telling him to stop supporting his child.
You need to face your family, and let them know that even though you have disappointed them, you have not disappointed God; he loves you; he gave you a blessing out of a bad situation; he has your back, and will not let evil befall you nor your chid; he will fight for you always.
Tell them you are grateful for all that they have been doing for you, and you woulld love to continue to have their support.
However be firm and let them know that you are not going to buckle under any emotional daggers that they throw at you; because you know who you are through Christ Jesus, and God aint done with you; that this is the time for you all to show that you are Christians who can forgive and continue to love irrespective of disappointment and pain.
...Whew #wipessweat#
DeleteDis ya comment too long abeg
Gbam. The brother has no love in his heart. And I won't be surprised if he too have multiple baby mamas.
DeleteNawa ooo, the way wey baby mamas dey rise eehhh, in no time 9 out of 10 children will be born out of wedlock.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I ask myself, condom don cost ni? Abi wetin..... People are not even scared of contacting STD, they are just having sex up and Dan......
Kpele...
Eeyah....I really feel pity for for you and your siblings right now. Take your baby in with you which I know your mum won't allow you,talk to your mum how much you love and appreciate her and beg for forgiveness in which ever way you might have hurt her. I know it is going to be alright. Hugs....
ReplyDeleteGod will strengthen you and restore you.seek him earnestly
ReplyDeleteWe're u cursed? I don't know why girls raised by single moms end up being single mums.
ReplyDeleteBIG LIE!!!!!!
DeleteWere*
DeleteGenevieve nnaji, Anna banner to mention but few....where they Raised by SINGLE MOMs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DeleteU won't think before u type...yur hand will just be doing, type type type without u thinking oloshi!
Madam Ghana babe, RECEIVE SENSE!
DeleteInteresting
ReplyDeleteTell Mr P to.stop going there since his presence hurts your family. He should be sending you money to take care of the child and if he wants to see his child, go and bring him to your house or a public place.I pray God settle you soon in Jesus name amen.
ReplyDeleteHmmm..this is deep!
ReplyDeleteFamily is everything..I pray things c work out for u n Mr x..try n work on settling down if dat'll make dem happy abi?
Dear poster, as per Mr P to stop taking care of ur baby bills, dats risky as Naija economy dey now. He can keep taking care of d bills by paying d money into ur account monthly or weekly as flavour dey do for him baby mama. Cut off all ties with him since u r good for f**k and not good for marriage, he is distracting u and blocking better guys to come around becos he is still in d picture, u guys often hang out. People may think u r planning wedding without knowing dat he won't marry u. Pls as soon as u r stable finically, take care of ur baby and like I said push mr P away
ReplyDeleteIs that your younger brother or older? Because his thinking seems myopic and petty. Have you ever asked for money from him? How can you cut a child's relationship from his father to please your brother all in the name of saving face? That boy needs his father in his life! Just ignore your brother jor. Focus on being financially independent. As in, accumulate wealth and try dating again because you can't remain single forever. Don't allow anyone guilt trip you, there are correct bachelors willing to settle with a baby mama who comes correct with her head in the right places. After you are all settled with your money, we'll see who's bringing shame to the family. As for that your brother, he has no idea what the word "family" is and the importance of loyalty. Bros, it's family first!! If you see people, before they ask sef, you should be the first to tell them:
ReplyDelete"My sister is doing great!! Do you know my dear sister delivered a handsome baby boy last year?".
Gbam!! I don't understand why some family members are so horrible! How can you suggest you cut the father out of the child's life?? All the judgement he placed on her.. Poster most be so kind hearted. If my older or younger brother dare send me this type of letter or article. We are done! He should be her rock in times like this. Stand beside her against all the judgemental eyes but instead the so called brother joined them to hull more insults on her. He should focus on encouraging their mother even if he can't be there for his sister. For him to even mentioned she is the one that received the most money for training shows bitterness... O ma se o Just totally disgusted.
Deleteso the guy should clap for her sister for bringing in an unwanted pregnancy aby? all of u telling her to ignore her brother I wish your sisters will bring in an unwanted baby in the family so that u guys will feel the pain the brother is feeling, is easy to judge and conderm people when u are not d one involve, poster pls use your head your brother loves u and so do u'r mum, his right for being angry with u everybody will including those supporting u , just mk peace with your family and assure them that u will be a good girl from now on and tie your leg lk a mamaid to mk them happy till u get married.
Deleteso the guy should clap for her sister for bringing in an unwanted pregnancy aby? all of u telling her to ignore her brother I wish your sisters will bring in an unwanted baby in the family so that u guys will feel the pain the brother is feeling, is easy to judge and conderm people when u are not d one involve, poster pls use your head your brother loves u and so do u'r mum, his right for being angry with u everybody will including those supporting u , just mk peace with your family and assure them that u will be a good girl from now on and tie your leg lk a mamaid to mk them happy till u get married.
DeleteDon't mind the rude brother. If poster raises her child to become someone important you'll see how everyone will be claiming him.
DeleteThe brother has every right to tell his sister how he feels. Her action has affected the whole family negatively. Your mom suffered alone, raised you and you went and carried belle. Weren't you actively trying to prevent pregancy? You got pregnant knowing fully well you can't take care of the child and you took the child to your mom. So when your mom goes to church they will ask her whose child is this and she will say it's my daughter's. When did she get married na? Imagine the shame! Especially a country as judgemental as Nigeria.
DeleteGet your life together. Take your son with you because leaving him with your mom is too much of a disgrace. You sef think na. When the woman has train you finish, in her old age you won't let her enjoy the fruit of her Labour. Haba!!
I hv a sister who has a daughter out of wedlock. She is the only 1 among all of us whose school fees was paid abroad, when she took in we were initially sad but before she born sef every1 had prepared their minds. And we anticipated our baby. So u can b angry but still nursing the anger over a year is wickedness. Her brother shod hv gotten over this guilty and nonsense by now. My parents are respected elders in church but thank God they know how to put people in their place and they don't carry deir noses and form holier than though. Abeg d brother just dey make me vex....
DeleteAww so touching... just take money frm mr p and invest in ur self. Yes u can do dat. Ur bro shd face realities biko.
ReplyDeleteAww so touching... just take money frm mr p and invest in ur self. Yes u can do dat. Ur bro shd face realities biko.
ReplyDeleteSorry...
ReplyDeleteAway from the topic...just wanna share this quotes a married woman that got married last month told me
Quote:.....""EVERY WOMAN IS A LESBIAN AT HEART""
How true is this quote?
And would she say that?...her marriage is barely one month
Is she tired already?
@Galore
Aww so touching... just take money frm mr p and invest in ur self. Yes u can do dat. Ur bro shd face realities biko.
ReplyDeleteAww so touching... just take money frm mr p and invest in ur self. Yes u can do dat. Ur bro shd face realities biko.
ReplyDeleteHa! Are u a robot?
DeleteWhich phone are u using???
Why should u stop a father to look after his child cos u don't want a complicated life !!!! How is the financial help complicating things for you !! What you should do is remove outings from it and focus on ur child topics alone. You can fuck without getting pregnant you know. Pls next use a condom till he puts a ring on it . *drops mic*.
ReplyDeletePoster i understand wer ur bro is coming frm, no matter how the world wnts to accept babymamas, pple still find it wrong honestly. Bt i pray u are able to comeup with a solution in ur family.
ReplyDeleteNne a big hug nd kisses to you.
ReplyDeleteI understand the situation Miss nd would agree with other BVS on the part of making ur mum happy. Meanwhile you ve to give ur life to God, events/experiences have lessons attached to them, (cyclic experiences re painful nd hurt most;once bitten twice shy). Call ur bro, one on one discussions (he s sensitive nd prolly close to mum nd could relate home-aggressions to u. Plz don't beat urself, rise up, shake off regrets,rebound nd be Great. ONE Love
Poster....you are not a disgrace. Yes you made a mistake and I understand your brother's position. You have the opportunity to make things right afterall a saint is a sinner who fell down and got up. No matter how much you earn, you need to take care of your mom . You have a job and a thriving business...her prayers over you will not be in vain. You will settle down with your husband and You will raise your child. I see nothing wrong in Mr P
ReplyDeleteTaking care of his child. Doesn't mean you should hang out with him.
Bottom line....You will be fine. Take it one step at a time.
You can have your child stay with you if you choose. It won't be easy but remember nothing good really comes easy. All the best hun
Well, as hurt as you may be by your brothers words, he is only being honest. The deed has been done though, so there's no need crying over spilt milk. I do not think you should stop Mr P from taking care of his child, because that'd be more responsibility for your mum. Taking care of the child is enough for her. As long as Mr P is not doing any harm to the child, and takes up his responsibility willingly, then I see no problem. I sense from your brothers write up, you are still intimate with Mr P, which isn't right. I may be wrong, but if I am right, you should put a stop to it, since you both know there's no future for you. Pray to God, for your own man, so you can give your child a place to grow up in. Please do not hold a grudge against your brother, he only said what others are unwilling to say. Be strong. Be prayerful. Stay focused. Goodluck.
ReplyDeleteWe have to be honest,your bro is silly..You have got a life to live my dear,Have you taken time to look at your fingers not all are equal,not every one will go the right path.its high time we must try to live our life without thinking of what people think or do or say.
ReplyDeleteWhy do I hv this weird feeling that this poster is Bv Trinity?
ReplyDeleteBut is Trinity not getting married?
DeleteLmao! I was waiting for this comment. Dear anon it is not trinity and no its not me as well. I don't ave a brother.
DeleteAm also in it shoes, pls since you both knew u can't marry, stop hanging out and let it be just him taking care of his child
ReplyDelete1. Should I tell Mr P to stop taking care of our child? So that he won't be able to claim the child? My brother would be happy maybe. He is the only son.
ReplyDeleteDo you want to give his child to your brother because he is the only son?
Why don't you want him to claim his child? *confused*
Not hanging out with the guy anymore doesn't mean you should keep him out of his child's life.
I think your brother is upset because you are still having sex with the guy or still clinging to him when it's obvious he's not thinking marriage.
Leave the guy,get into another relationship and let ur mummy have her bottle of drink.
God bless you.
My darling, you have to develop a thick skin if you hope to go far in life. All your brother wrote is purely his opinion. True, family matters and it's good to consider their opinions but at the end of the day, your decisions should be based on what gives you peace within because it is your life after all.
ReplyDeleteNo mum will be happy to see her daughter have a child outside wedlock, especially when marriage to the baby daddy is highly improbable but what's done is done. Thank God for safe delivery and a healthy baby. It's too late to get depressed now, depression can't turn back the hands of time, actually, nothing can. It's time to pick yourself up and make the best out of a less than ideal situation. Your brother has no right to tell you to stop the father of the child have access to his child or provide for the upkeep. Your baby daddy is helping out yet you still find it difficult to cope. What exactly do you think would happen if he stops providing for your baby? Isn't it the same mum your brother feels you are stressing out who will still bear the brunt of taking care of your baby?
Perhaps your brother resents you for letting the family down but he has to get over it. Maybe he feels you aren't sobber enough. Maybe he feels you aren't showing enough remorse. Clearly, something inspired him to write what he wrote. I'm not sure what he means by you should be very careful with your baby daddy. Are you guys still having sex or giving the impression that you guys are in a relationship? Because why should you be weary of a guy manning up and taking responsibility for his actions? I'm sure there's more to the story.
Honey,my advice is, try to get a job. It mustn't be 6 figures, you can manage a 5 figure paying salary for now instead of having no job. 5 figures will eventually become 6 figures. I have my reservations about you leaving your 7 month old baby with your mum but I want to believe that was the best choice for you at the time. Settle down as soon as possible so you can get your baby back and start taking care of your child. You have to step up and take responsibility for your actions as well. Please, don't get distracted by men for now. You gave birth only 7 months ago. Give yourself time to deal with your new reality.
To answer your questions;
1. Don't stop Mr P from taking care of his son. The boy is his as well, just because he is doing the right thing by providing for his son doesn't give him the right to "claim" him. Both of you are the parents.
2. Get your baby back as soon as you can settle down and provide a decent home for him. You can always take him to see granny for weekends or when you need someone to look after him temporarily like if you need to leave town or something comes up at the office.
3. The best gift you can give your mum is to become a successful lady. Wipe away the so called "shame" by being the best you can be.
It's not what happens to a person that really matters, rather it is how the person reacts to whatever challenges he/she is confronted with.
#e-bearhugs.
This is the write up for the brother who allegedly writes so well? JOKES! Throwing in big words here and there is not the mark of a good writer. Proper grammar, correct syntax, spelling and punctuation are what show superior command of the English language.
ReplyDeleteWhat is wrong with your child's father doing his part? Did you impregnate yourself? It is normal for your family to feel embarassed because you are a single mum but it is irrational to deny your child the love and care of his father. I am glad you did not further compound your mistake by marrying your baby daddy just because you got pregnant. I am sure you more than anyone realize the gravity of your mistake so do not allow anyone guilt trip you into doing anything illogical. Your child will respect and forever be grateful to you for maintaining a cordial relationship with his dad for his sake. Do not cut off your son's father. You did not give us reason to believe he is causing drama. On the contrary he is playing his part well.
Keep working hard and fix your eyes on God. He will sort you out financially and otherwise so you can bring your child to live with you and also pamper your mum like she deserves. . He will also provide an amazing man who will love you and your child unconditionally. You are not the first and will definitely not be the last to have a child out of wedlock. It is not the end of the world. Please do not continue to feel condemned.
Dear writter, i feel ur pain and that of ur brother,everything he said is correct.U and Mr P should define d relationship,if he is only interested for d child let everything centers on d child not u.Pray to God to remove every family pattern in ur life so that history will not repeat itself.
ReplyDeleteHanging out? Really? As what? Please stop hanging out with him, so he doesn't block men from approaching you.
ReplyDeleteMake e your mother proud, at the same time, buy a carton of condom if you must do please. Enough of single mothers
if he doesn't is it ur mum dat will again care for the child when she shud be rewarded? Don't put her through that stress again allow him care for his care and don't deny the child from growing with that fatherly love some single mothers are looking for how the father of their child or children can even be giving them 10kobo.
ReplyDeleteI also think you shud go get ur child immediately because each time they see him it reminds ur mum n siblings of what ur mum has been through and what ur putting her through again and thats what makes them bitter hence that article your brother sent( in order words it means that instead of marrying to make her happy n proud u ended up getting pregnant to a man that is not even going to marry you making u end up like her don't worry u'll marry soon).
You can never reward any hardworking mother in a day's gift the only appreciation to ur mum is how u'll treat her by buying her gifts even if is beverages, clothings, giving her little money,food stuffs,and body building healthy drugs you can be rotating all ds no matter how small you earn at least to show gratitude care n love she is your mother she'll understand no matter how small you give.
Try and talk to that man what ever is the ish btwn u you two can't it be fixed?
I don't understand how u'll get pregnant for someone you aren't flowing with you should have enjoyed the sex with condom or use postinor when u knew ur parents are separated u should have been more careful. May God help u out of ds,ur partner will soon come if Mr p is not.
Am speechless..... All the best.
ReplyDeleteFor me, am disappointed in your brother and you rather should be careful with him. If i had a sis that gets preg, i will be angry but let go cos thats why its called family. Nothing should come in between.
ReplyDeleteThe child is for mr p hence he should take responsibility.
If u work and stay alone then that child is too young to live with you but if ur mum feels this way then i advise u take the child away from them before they transfer the anger and pain on the child
Dear poster,please don't b in a haste to pick up Ur child from Ur mum. That child may keep ur mum company and make her smile away her tears. Your brother said his feelings, but would he hav preferred if u had an abortion,destroyed ur womb,gotten married and @ d end u can't have kids cos of ur past mistake.pls he shld Naysh down jare and enjoy his nephew. If anything happens to u or the father of this child(God forbid) this boy is ur only heir. I hv a sister who is a single mum and her daughter brought so much joy to my parents if not dt she came to take d child wen she settled down. Pls leave all those judgmental ppl,did u ask dem for money. As d 1st commenter said, just provide for all the needs of ur kids. Wen next u go and see ur mum apologise for the mistake and promise her u wld only make her proud. Leave ur broda jare,small pikin sense eye worry am. U are lbofoved poster and u made no mistake keeping that child. Also don't deprive the father of his right to his child and let him continue to look after his son. Some of d ppl dt wld come and judge u, are either functioning as single mother's in their marriage and wld open mouth to condemn u.
ReplyDeleteOthers are writing business proposals to Oil companies,your brother is here writing this.
ReplyDeleteHe should just go and get married if he wants to appease your mom for your mistakes...
The past cannot be changed,forgotten,edited or erased.It can only be accepted...
You've just got to move on and don't let thunder strike twice at the same place...
The best years of your life is still ahead...
What you must do is LIVE.
ReplyDeleteYour brother is free to have any opinion about you and your situation, he is right to feel disappointed. But he is wrong to dictate how you live your life. Do not make a mistake of refusing help from your baby daddy...it's his child too Also, tone down the guilt at being unable to assist your mum now......it's premature seeing you have no steady income yet.
Get used to the disappointment now...... you do not need a letter to inform you of that. Focus on standing on your feet so you can take full care of your baby and assist your mum. Do not rush into any relationship or hasten to get a father for your child. Tie your legs please, try not to have another baby outside wedlock.......this incident and its attendant shame should teach you.
Oh well...goodluck to you.
I am not sure you will read this but I hope you do. First I can't judge you becoz you sinned differently from "me" but I can tell you that you were wrong getting pregnant for a man who isn't married to you. Now I don't tink getting pregnant is a mistake bcoz you are an adult and that simply means you should take responsibility for your action, I can't slap you for fhucking a man but I swear I would have given you a slap if you were here for not taking pills after it, but since u aren't close I will let it slide.
ReplyDeleteI can relate with ur moms situation, is disheartening but hey the deed has been done, no need crying over it. I will suggest you take out time to talk to your mom, am talking bout a mother and daughter talk, apologizing to her for hurting her bcoz you did. You broke her spirit,you reminded her of her situation,what and how she went wrong and nothing hurts a mother more than seeing her daughter make same mistake she did,it will take time for her to process all of that so don't expect her to forget in a hurry but she will eventually.your family members deserves an apology oooh yes they do, so make it genuine.
Then you need to forgive yourself for ur mistake, we all deserve a second chance So give ursef one. Let go of the hurt, the disappointment and the failures. Get back on your feet and moooove on. Life is not just bout you any more, there is a child involved so get your ass up and correct your mistake by taking responsibilty for it.You brought a child into this crazy world so you better take responsibility for that child, that's not your mamas job but yours since na you open leg.
Also Mr p deserve to see and take care of his child yes but it doesn't have to be in a way your mama isnt comfortable with since the child is with her,so i will suggest you draw a plan for that, like open a bank account in his name so he can deposit whatever he has for the child upkeep and map out a time table he can come see or visit the child that way its official that he is just a baby daddy to you and your family won't expect him to make a move. Well that's all i can tink right as i have a cock ooooops!! I mean coke in front of me.
I wish you well honey and dont worry time heal every wound. take care kisses.
I am taking care of my kids alone but I bless God for d mum I have I don't know what i would have done if not for her, my family are disappointed in me, my brothers remained me of my mistake (which is a big blessing to me)everyday I dear not make any mistake of talking abt guys close to him.but anytime I look at my kids I smile and thank God.I just pray God help me to train dem in his ways and grant me my heart desires so I can put a smile in my mum's face and surprise my siblings. so poster you cant deny d child his father right
DeletePoster you are wicked. How can you leave a seven months old baby for your mother after the shame you already brought her? Take the child with you and care for him as a mother, you can register in a daycare centre na while you pursue your career. I am also in same shoes as you but the difference is we patched up wedding but we haven't been living as husband and wife in the past one year. We were enemies at a point but now cordial for the baby's sake... goodluck
ReplyDeleteYour brother has no right to demoralize you hun, no child is a mistake... We're all not lucky with men and its high time we know that it's not everyone that will marry, the world is changing love... Your brother is so good at the write up he should take it as a living to contribute to things around your family, ask him if he'd rather you aborted the baby... Dear who says that the father of your baby cannot marry you, maybe time is just being time love... Work hard and do you, be better, everything will fall into place... This life tho, me am here after so many bad and hurtful relationships I've given and only praying for a child at least before I'm 30.... Nobody really wants to go through being a single parent but wouldn't you rather be a single mom than live without a child. Baby girl fix yourself.... Your boy is going to grow into a better man and he'd know your pains. But in all I pray that you find a man because honestly we all want a home. God bless you
ReplyDelete100 like
DeleteAm with u my dear
ReplyDeleteMadam you should be happy your brother told you his mind.....
ReplyDeletePlease stay away from the father of your child... Maybe his presence is what upsets your family the most and not the baby. Again, allow him take up his responsibilities as the child's father because after you suffer train am, the pikin na still him papa pikin.
Please follow the advise of your bro he means well for you. The mistake have been made so look for how to remedy it by putting smiles on their face. That your man is wicked oh! so you are only good for fucking and birthing his child not for wifying and companionship okay oh!
My dear sis, you need Christ. He is the only one that can make your life beautiful again.
Wow. @Ronalda u are just as intelligent and honest as me. I am highly impressed with your counsel.
ReplyDeleteLemme advice you in my own little way.. Your brother should shut up and let you live your life. No.one is above mistake. Just keep that your baby daddy at arm length so that good guys that are serious can locate you.
ReplyDeleteYour brother must be very silly for sending this you this epistle.. Don't allow anyone to determine for you, you have your life to live.
The man is being responsible for his child...don't stop him. Let him take care of HIS son. Too many deadbeat dads around, when we see one willing to be responsible for his child(ren) they should be encouraged.
ReplyDeleteYour brother was merely stating his opinion.
Hello Stella
ReplyDeletePlease I beg in the name of God and in the name of motherhood this is an sos call... A student has been brutally beaten and murdered in Bostal Training Institution Nigeria Prison Service in Barnawa kaduna. The 17 year old boy's body is still at Saint Gerald catholic Hospital motuary kaduna. This is how it happened
A group of boys including the deceased were locked up in a punishment cell for an offence in the institute, the guards that where supposed to be guarding the cell left their duty post and then the evil began 4 nights ago
The senior student picked on the youngest boy that is a junior student who is also the only child of his parents they did unimaginable things to him, stuffed his mouth up with socks and tied his legs and arms with their singlets and started beating him terribly, Stella this little boy was beaten to death. The guards on duty dint even find out he was dead till after 4 hours, he had so much bruises and swellings all over his body when he was found.
The other junior boys in the cell were also beaten and threatened to shut up but they eventually confessed that those 4 seniors beat the other boy to death.
Please help this innocent boy get justice don't let him be buried without justice as the authority are trying to cover it up and lie to his parents about the cause of his death. Alot of things like this happen there and it's inhuman
I hope this gets to all the people that can help get the justice this boy deserves
His body is currently in Saint Gerald catholic Hospital motuary kakuri, Kaduna state Nigeria
Thanks and God bless you
#savethechildrenatbostaltraininginstitute
As long as Mr P is the father of the child and he is willing to participate in the child's upbringing he should in my humble opinion be allowed to be in his child's life. You can move on with ur life regardless. It's almost mutually exclusive. Shop for your beauty and baby products at diapersnmum.com
ReplyDeleteWhy do I feel you didn't say the whole truth? You are probably still sleeping with your baby daddy, maybe that's why your bro is so disappointed. Hanging out with a man who doesn't want to marry you and has even left you with a child is a no no. I feel your family is that hurt cos they are not seeing any remorse in you. Let him take care of his child financially, and see his child when he needs to, but pls stop hanging out with him.
ReplyDelete