Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Hmmm *sigh*

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

LONG DISTANCE RELATION -ISH

Dear   Stella,

I read your blog several times a day. It is interesting and very real. Please allow me to delve in.

I am a 31 year old guy, currently living in the UK, double UK masters degree holder, earning 7 figures annually in naira lol.

 In summary i am not doing badly by Gods grace. I met my girl in January 2012 while working in a telecoms company in Nigeria. I was 27 and she just turned 23. We were hi and hello friends, because we were both in serious relationships. 

It happened to be that my ex (3.5 years relationship) cheated with a 'just a friend'' (she was a student in a different city) i found out and walked, while her ex got another girl (his tribal girl) pregnant, my gf found out, was devastated and broke up with him.

Theirs was a long term relationship as well.  

During the period that followed, i wasn't interested in any relationship and just focused on my career, while lots of girls came around, i made it clear that i did not want anything serious. My GF and i used to trade stories and just chat about how we were both doing post break up and after 3 months of being confidants we just clicked, made it official and started dating.

In the weeks that followed i dropped every single post break up fling i had. I am not one to lead girls on.

So our relationship started, 8 months later i left for the UK for my 1st MSc, my girl just finished poly and i worked on getting her a Direct Entry into Uni which she said was what she wanted. Though i was far away, i did my best to make my present felt, i handled all and every bill she had, rent, furnished apartment, monthly upkeep and called several times a day everyday for 1 year.

 I also did not sleep with anybody while abroad. You see,Stella i did not plan to do the celibacy thing, its not like i didnt meet ladies, i met so, so many of them, white, black and they were willing, i have never had a problem getting close to ladies, but the truth is they weren't her. 

I know this sounds crazy but from a guy who used to be something of a ladies man i just no wan do again. 

15 months in total of no sex.

 I remember when i was leaving naija , she tearfully asked me if this was the end and i told her trust me K, i will come back and marry you. I was her 1st don't know if i'm her only right now. Also she got pregnant just before i left but we had to have an abortion because i was leaving in 2 weeks and it would have been to hard for her to deal with alone (that was the saddest day of my life) and we have since decided if it ever happened again we would keep it. 

Then i returned to naija last year for 8 months and as usual when i am around we were inseparable, did everything together, my family got to know her and although my parents had initial reservations (different tribes and socioeconomic background) my parents warmed up to her solely because of my persistence that i wasn't interested in anybody else.

I had to leave again for a year last August, but before i did i made sure i met her dad and made my intentions known sort of unofficially. That was my 2nd time meeting him, the 1st time he wasn't too polite (went to her house in the evening after work, we sat in my car talking and got carried away till late, he came back from trips and met us there lol. it was embarrassing). 

This time around we spoke like men and he even calls me a few times from naija     

Now the issue is this, sometime in January i found out that my girl had been getting close to a certain guy, they had been talking for months and i had no idea, truth is because of the distance we operate a no secrets no lies policy, it helps with the trust, she lives in the apartment i got with her male cousin in the same uni, before i left we both agreed that she wouldnt be allowing guys.

 Truth is she in Uni and she is a beautiful girl and i understand she will have admirers ,that is normal. I was devastated because i found out that not only had they been talking, the said guy and her had been hanging out and he had been coming over.

 This was the 2nd time such would be happening and 1st time was a different guy. I recently caught her in so many lies all bordering around the same thing that i am now  so confused. 

she claims she isnt lying until i hit her with evidence then its the cycle again, crying, swearing they are only friends and she doesnt do anything with them and i am just overreacting. It all got to a head recently and i spoke to her parents about it, that these recent behavior gives me concern (abruptly dropping calls, not picking calls late at night, hanging out till late). 

Her dad spoke to her and told me he is certain nothings going on and she assured him that these people are just her friend. 

The thing is i cant tell anyone about this, i have ignored and still ignore so many beautiful, smart and loving young ladies because of this girl, i don't know what to do. 3 and a half years seems wasted, not to talk of my energy and resources i put into this lady. I was gonna propose in 2 months, this is someone i felt i knew, but now i dont know if i do, each time i remember how she lies with ease and blames it on being scared of how i would react.

 To think that she was hanging out with someone for 3 months and i didnt even know. Can we ever know a person?

Even if i start all over would it not be the same thing. I cant tell my folks because they just warmed up to her and now mum teases me about her every time we talk.

 I cant tell my friends, because they all advised me that student, Corps members and long distance relationships are a no no. i figured she is 27 so she should be mature. 

Please i need your red biro, and BVs wisdom. I am so confused. should i walk away or should i wait till i get back?.