Happy Birthday Toba; Happy Birthday. It’s been so long since we last spoke I barely know what to say.....
You are present everyday. You affect our conversations in so many little ways-your laughter is a soft wind that blows soothing sounds into the love and light I share with our mummy. Your stoic silence reminds us to remain strong as we face the path ahead knowing you are not there-but you are at the same time-in our thoughts, our words, our decisions to move forward-you urge us along.
Happy Birthday.
This time last year was a mixture of poison and pain but purpose spoke the loudest when your gift remained through the words you have enabled me to speak, through your ability to still reach beyond the divide and provide laughter in our beings.
Happy Birthday.
I hope you are enjoying yourself up there-I know your love for music was always the strongest-it would pound through your ears, through those earphones that were your permanent fixtures as you stared-into the distance-dreaming, thinking, planning, believing and walking confidently ahead.
Happy Birthday.
I remember your smile the brightest-it was a signal for mischief we shared-whenever your serious but steady demeanor broke into a reverie of anticipation-your smile was the blare-it would shine through the darkness and melt my fears. You always had the ability to do that-to remind me who I was when I would forget, to whisper wisdom when I was unsure of who I was-you gently focused my stare.
Happy Birthday.
This would have been your 22nd year-what a joy it would have been to see you grow even more sure in your determination to bring dreams forth. Your broad shoulders that remained steady through the storm. That confident clean walk you had that could stop any daunting fears from coming forth.
Happy Birthday.
As I write these words, I remember our conversations back home in the comfort of the couch we spoke-you showed me so much hope-such fire lit your steps it made me afraid for your safety as you ventured ahead. And you had such an aura it could tense the air-it was a palpable presence that seemed to draw people near. I remember its share force-it came before you walked into the room-it announced your presence so clearly all eyes focused on your steps.
Happy Birthday.
I remember now, yes I can see, through the misty film of the past, your colours blare clearly. I remember how you would speak-quiet, confident and sure-certainty wrapped itself around every word. I was terrible at defending myself when we fought with words-your edge was sharper than mine and had an instinct about it that blocked each clever clap back.
Happy Birthday.
I miss you. Mummy does too. Two years since you left-a lot has changed in your absence. I mean, I know you are here-I feel you everyday when I speak and share-I feel you in my actions, my words and movements. But when I lost the ability to reach you-and for you to reach me-when we lost the ability to hold each other tightly as family-is when reality shifted.
Your presence that spoke so powerfully into the environment had lost its essence. The hopes of the future you so colourfully painted and shared with my eyes and eager ears broke into darkness and even then, I could feel your concern-you were afraid of the cost of your departure-you were right; it was very dear-a heavy weight that nearly crushed us with its full force-we broke down in a state that is deeper than tears.
And mummy, well she survived that storm-you will be proud-she remained so strong even though the death blow hit her squarely in her heart where you belonged.
But Toba, I want you to understand-today is your birthday-and we are grateful you were born. We are grateful your light shone brightly through each and every storm. We are grateful for that beautiful laughter that decorated our lives. We are grateful you lived your life. We are grateful for each shard of the past that represents the memories we have.
Happy Birthday.
I am honored to be your sister-I am honored to call you friend until the very end-I am proud of the man you were-your heart was always laid bare. You were true to yourself, you cared for others, you were determined to share yourself and to the weak you provided strength; so today I celebrate your life.
Happy Birthday Toba-today we choose to smile. I see you so clearly and yet I see you barely but I will always remember that smile-the way you chose to live your life-determined to succeed; determined to embrace destiny. And now you dance in eternity.
Happy Birthday Tyler Hendrix Fray-until we meet again-the journey unfolds unto a path of hope-lit with your smile, your confident gaze and that steady walk accompanied with wise words-I face forward. We miss you. We love you. We will never forget you.
Happy Birthday Toba-from your sister, your friend, your advocate always-I carry your memories, our fights, laughter and tears-I carry it all in my heart as we move forward-you still live on, woven into the details of our hearts that spring forth when we correspond.
Happy Birthday. We love you-forever and always.
*This made me shed tears reading it but I choose to smile because of the positivity this message brings....Dont Worry Tolu,Karma has the address of those who snuffed the life out of Toba....Dont worry,Karma is on its way to them,it may take a while but Karma will get to them.
Dont stop smiling and give your mum a back slap for me..LOL
Awwwww.... so sad.
ReplyDeleteTouching. Death is one thing that is hard to comprend
ReplyDeleteSo, this is how they'll not get justice for this boy? This is one area I am upset with ex president Jonathan. He could have pulled his weight behind this matter to get those suckers. At least, as the president of Nigeria who is interested in the murder of one of his own. It would have made a clear difference. But with just the mother and Festus Keyamo and co, fighting against the almighty Dubai government, they just trampled on the matter anyhow. It didn't suffice it. Very painful
DeleteSo touching😤😤. Happy birthday in Heaven Toba.
ReplyDeleteAwwww... happy birthday to him and may he continue to rest in peace.
ReplyDeleteHappy posthumous birthday to Toba. I really pity their mother
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
Awwwwwww
ReplyDeleteSo nothing was done about his death.
Speechless
ReplyDeleteSigh.
ReplyDeleteNow I'm sad. Rest in peace Toba
Na wa. Late Toba happy birthday
ReplyDeleteMay he keep resting on the Lord..
ReplyDeleteHBD!
ReplyDeleteSee tear running outta my eyes..
ReplyDeleteKeep resting dear Toba..
Ur eye na pant? 😂
DeleteKelvin Dat Edo Boi ( Stellz Cousin )
**Tears
ReplyDeleteOh my God, this is so touching... can't stop the tears. continue to RIP Toba.
ReplyDeleteKarma karma karma. It is very cold comfort. What will indeed give this family closure and some measure of peace is for the killers to be brought to book and made to pay for their crimes.
ReplyDeleteYou will be fine Tolu. I know personally how much it hurts to lose a family member. Take heart sweets.
YOT
Especially in a foreign land where it was clear that homicide was very likely. It is too painful. And the bastards are doing just fine and may have forgotten their deeds. God of vengeance will fight this battle
DeletePlease let this babe allow her bro rest in peace. I understand her pain because I've had same experience but that doesn't mean we will keep disturbing their soul. All she needs to do is to offer prayers for him daily and ask God to let his soul rest in peace.
ReplyDeleteMoreover, I haven't seen where they celebrate a dead person's birthday before. Maybe some do but I'm yet to see.
RIP to your brother.
Is it your brother that died? Leave her to celebrate him if she wants. It's not your business. Gbefila!
DeleteWhat you just typed up there is so insensitive. People deal with grief in very different ways so pls allow her express how she feels.
DeleteObviously, you don't know jack about losing a sibling (or anyone really close). Do us a favor and shush, will you?
DeleteOffer prayers my big ass!
Couldn't read past the second paragraph. Brought tears to my eyes. Heartbreaking. God grant him rest and give his family strength.
ReplyDeleteOmg am so emotional ryt now. Rest peacefully dear one.
ReplyDeleteContinue to rest in peace Toba....don't worry child heaven has a plan for you.
ReplyDeleteSeen
ReplyDeleteEeyah....It is well.
ReplyDeleteHeartbreaking...
ReplyDelete#justice4toba
ReplyDelete#justice4toba
ReplyDeleteSo touching, it isn't easy loosing ones only sibling. I can imagine how much she misses him.
ReplyDeleteMay We never experience such IJN, it's not easy. It must be so hard for she and her mum.
May he continue to rest in peace.
Take heart Tolu, The Lord will bring you and your mum comfort.
So so heartbreaking.....
ReplyDeleteMay he continue to RIP, So sad
ReplyDeleteTouching piece.. Keep resting Toba
ReplyDeleteI didn't read all cos I don't wanna cry
ReplyDeleteDeath is so psinful
Continue to Rip Tolu
Rest on Toba
ReplyDeletehis smile is so pure!.....continue to rest on Toba.... and may ur killers be brought to book soon! Amen.
ReplyDeleteAwwww, n just 2 days ago, I was asking if that woman, Aisha, was his mum.
ReplyDeleteContinue to Rest in peace, Toba
It's well with your family, young lady
#justice for Tyler#
I wish I hadn't opened this post. I lost mine exactly 4 months ago today and I've managed to block it off all day. I know it's escapism but when does one actually get to the point where you can remember it without pain? I'm guessing never. *heavy sigh*
ReplyDeleteHugs dear
DeleteIt is well....Happy Birthday, Toba...so heart breaking.
ReplyDelete