OMG!..I have never read anything like this before!
Take a sit on our favourite couch and read this and then step forward...gently!
1. Stella advice women all over the world to protect their Cookie ( Vajaja) till marriage. As it's usually written : close your legs tight like Mami water.
Dilemma- What happens when the very first time you sleep with your husband is on your wedding night?
What happens when your husband know little or nothing about sex?
What happens when your husband doesn't know even how to position himself in a missionary style/position?
What happens when you realize suddenly on that excited wedding night that you have finally entered one chance regarding sex? What happens when you suddenly realize you need to even show your husband where to put his penis, how to put it, how to sit on top of you, how to go in the upward and forward thrust, how to feel , how to touch you and where to even touch you? What will you do?
Will you ever ask or advice another woman to marry without sexually been active with the spouse ?
Do you know most men who insist on sex ONLY after marriage HAVE a somewhat problem sexually or physically ?
Well- I started reading all these things when I found out my current dilemma.
2. I know your questions, didn't you date? Didn't you ask him about past relationships? Bl Bla Bla.... I know, I know
Does it really matter now?
What if he told you how he wanted to marry Adamma or what happened he didn't marry Shola anymore? You realized he told you about that but he didn't exactly tell you about a relationship . He only told you about who he wanted to marry.
What if you realize now , that even those names he wanted to marry, he was never really sexually involved with them but believe he's of marriageable age ?
Do you pray and fast for him to start learning, listening and knowing sex and understanding intimacy in marriage as you all mostly advice women to do on this blog and well- generally most Nigerians?
How do you pray for a miracle to happen so that a man learns the act of sex?
3. Oh, maybe he's not attracted to you.... I laugh here.
May he doesn't love you, also I really confidently take some juice here ....
Listen My dear readers, commenters, writers- these are not the situation.
The Situation here is :
i : He wants to learn sex truly but he's not able to.
ii : He wants to be interested in sex and intimacy but he's failing himself. He just can't. He just don't how how.
iii: He wants to communicate more, open up more, show love more but his confidence has left him more ashamed publicly and privately and he has innately become an angry unhappy person.
4: What have you done to help your husband with these issues?
Have you tried to teach him? YES.
Have you done it Continuously and consistently? YES
Are you beautiful? Exceptional
Do you cook for him, bath with him , Give him head, Open your legs Wilder, Teach him gently, advice him, talk to him, cried for him, beg him, get angry, get sad, feel like running out? YES
Have you taken him to hospital to do some test and fertility checks? YES
Have you taken him for Counseling and Therapy for both of you? YES
Have you tried to talk to his mother about it? YES
Has he ever ever tried to initiate sex , be the one to desire you and say he wants sex ? NO.
Does he enjoy sex at all in your best opinion ?NO
Has he made any effort to learn and become better? NO
Does he maybe have a girlfriend you don't know of ? NO and I will be soooooooooooooo happyyyyyyyyh if there's someone who can help me.
Do you guys watch PORN together? We did and nothing happened. No, he didn't even have an erection.
Does he watch PORN alone? Never. No
Maybe he enjoys masturbation? No Or I don't know. Unsure but I think No.
Is he fat? Well yes, ( breast and tummy)... Very considerate though.
Is he educated ? YES, Degree Holder
Is he from the village? No, been around the world and the West.
Is He Gay? I asked and he says No.
Before you comment here for the ever first time in your life, please Read and read well. Read to understand and not to comment.
Understand it's a real life issue and currently going on.
It could happen to anyone but now it's happening to me.
How Old is the marriage? Months Old.
What will you do? How will you go about it? What else will you apply? What new things will you introduce? What decisions will you make?
How will you handle this generally?
To curse me for not having sex before marriage will not change the situation?
We are both civil, exposed, rich , and educated.
May those with deep mature understanding to life SPEAK PLEASE, A sister really needs INSIGHTS.
Thank you all.
Lina's diary.
Chai, hope it's easy to keep till marriage
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
If you say no sex b4 marriage, that's ur decision and u should have reasons for such, be it religious belief or personal encounter, but u can at least make him erect or witness his morning wood, then u worry about sustaining an erection & time of ejaculation....
DeleteYou're walking down the aisle at ur own risk, anything u see u take, its a huge gamble.
You didn't even read it. So obvious
DeleteHmmmm....ive never been a fan of a no sex relationship cos i dont want stories dat touch...maybe he's not sexually attracted to you,my bestie broke up with her ex cos he couldnt get an erection even though they loved each other like kilode or maybe he was abused or he's in love with someone else.
DeleteIf you both are spirit filled Christians, you don't have a problem. Sex is a beautiful gift from God that brings intimacy in marriage. God's plan isn't for us to experiment before marriage. The Bible says we have the Holy Spirit who is able to teach us ALL things. You should completely and sincerely yield yourself to Him and watch Him change your story.
DeleteAbstinence is the key but many questions need to be asked by both partners to prevent having sexual or financial issues in marriage. But unfortunately, most gals are too shy or afraid to bring up sexual and financial discussion.
DeleteA problem unsolved before marriage will not automatically solve itself after wedding. Issues like:
Salary, business, other income sources, jealousy, Trust, drinking, smoking, high or low libido,cheating, stds, education, where to settle down, snoring, fatness, laziness, abuses etc and be checked and balanced b4 saying I do or b4 entering the place raw.
Stella please change sat couch to a more contemporary design...that's too old fashion & ugly...not dat you paying for it...so what is it??? Please download something modern & elegant mbok
DeleteDevil using this writer..!! For true worshipper of Christ Gods commandment above anything.
DeleteWhy didn't she just tell the story as it is, which one be YES and NO?
Delete*MsFerragamo
Writer, I'm in your shoes right now. My hubby is a 30secs man. Does he love me?"Yes". He gets erection by mere looking at me.He is too shy to find help. We have a child but sex life is whack. Amnt a sex person cos I married as a virgin. He likes sex but can't keep up once it starts. Do I love him?"Yes". So have made up my mind that marriage is beyond sex. I will rather make other things perfect. It's who I tell that will know. So take ur mind off social media sex life and be happy in whatever situation you find yourself
DeleteYou can't conclude that because a man is a virgin, he won't know what to do on the wedding night. Even Adam knew how to give eve belle. You ppl will teach each other what to do
Delete*reads comments with weed in hand*
Anon 16. 24, i beg to differ, you just said you are NOT a SEX person abi? Well what works for you might not work for another.. Sex is very important especially in marriage.. I told my husband while we were courting that sex is important to me o! That of course and one or two other rudiments of marriage... I'm happy because he's open minded about these things and it's working for us... Intending couples please don't be shy to tell each other your likes and dislikes. A lot of women are dying in silence because they are not fulfilled sexually...
DeleteBiko writer, go back to school abeg! Reading this nearly gave me a headache...mscheeew! Everybody sha wants to form I'm a writer, Nonsense!
DeleteGod made s3x, and it has to be enjoyed. Sex is one of the things that keeps a marriage. if the Sex ain't good, then there is trouble.
DeletePoster, I wish you the best. it isn't easy. After all, they say Sex isn't food. But for a guy not to want it at all, there's a problem.
Abeg,as if they will hear!
ReplyDeleteWho this long epistle epp?
@poster,hope you are a virgin?
Did you read this at all?
DeletePrick wey don die, don die.
DeleteNo remedy.
The only use is for pissing.
Praying for a dead prick is like praying for a severed limb to grow back.
Invest in a dildo.
Can see u didn't read n digest
DeleteHahahahahahahahahaha...
DeleteSexual compatibility is key for me so i insist on test driving before purchasing
Hahahahahahahahahaha...
And her write up is rubbish. Mrs YES and NO.
DeleteUmmm.
ReplyDeleteDear have you really tried to find out what made him so? Have you tried to know why he distaste sex? Don't pressurise him rather encourage him to open up and tell you how he really feels about sex and if possible visit a sex therapist it will help. Stop telling everyone about his problem you are further killing his ego.
DeleteMy thoughts exactly @ Ikwuka Ifunanya.
DeleteTelling people about his problems bruises his ego. Don't let sex make him a monster. There's more to marriage than that. Be patient with him. It's just months na. Give him time. Seduce him. U r a woman. Use your slutty powers.
Only Jesus can fix this. WTH...Jesus. its scary o
ReplyDelete919.comment 2016
To summarise your epistle- he doesn't like sex right? Well let me go the naija women way- pray - watch war room lol
DeleteLol @ rare gem...u get am watch war room indeed!!!
DeleteLol
I also need insights. Let me read comments.
ReplyDeletePoster can you ask him if he has ever had an orgasm before? If yes how did it happen. The answer or not answering that question will say alot. Many men who abstained from sex before marriage encounter these issues. It might take months or years to resolve itself. Shutting down and doing so properly would have required a psychological reset. Which is why getting back into the act might take time. I actually think that might be his issue or he hates sex due to some traumatic experience or he is asexual. If he get's morning wood then you know the problem is more physical than mental. If the morning erection happens less than more then you know its mainly a mental thing.
DeleteI must taste first now before i buy market. Why will my husband not know doggy stlye. He craze for head
ReplyDeleteEven dog sef sabi doggystyle, then na grown man?
DeleteLol
DeleteLmao
DeleteGod bless u sister
Naso my friend close like mermaid for four years with her bf,they got married and my friend found out her man couldn't go more than 2mins and na only once he dey do till after two or three weeks
She has talked to her hubby severally, the dude said data how far he can go and my friend married a virgin o
She say if she know she for no taste sex at all
Now she taste am,she wants more but hubby is *smh*
Only God knows best o jare😩
I have no problem with no sex before marriage but i must put it in my mouth and feel how strong and check his veins too...Stella please i need a man that can do it 24/7...CHEERS
ReplyDeleteIf he can put it in ur mouth, why not in ur cunt??
DeleteNa their u enter the final last chance, lemme sch u.... There are guys that stand attention to foreplay & BJ.... But time to penetrate kitty, the engine go die.
DeleteHoly shit! Lmao😂
DeleteChat me an let me give u a friend who has a big dick and will fuck u to comma
Delete280A6F51
Mc pinky
Putting it in your mouth is oral sex na
DeleteIt is still sex o
Maybe he was abused as a child,and as a result of that, it got him all clammed up?
ReplyDeleteI think he needs constant therapy..
Since you guys are rich, have you considered going to see a sexologist?
Only an expert in sex, can bring out that sexual receptivity in him.
Aha! I spot someone civilised on this blog
Delete- Tressemme
Porn, Porn and more Porn please.
Delete*msFerragamo
So the rest are not civilized...?? Ewu
DeleteHian!
ReplyDeleteAnd what if after the whole explorations like a geologist, he stops touching you for some reason, months into the marriage ; or you experience some of the hundred and one horrible things, which couples who were sexually active before marriage still discovered after their wedding, most of which we read about on here?
Well, obviously, there's a problem somewhere. But don't blame yourself for waiting till your wedding night. Don't.
Hopefully, those who were once in this kinda situation, will tell us how they overcame it.
After all said and done, pre marital sex is wrong.
Skips away.
#WhiteDiamondOut
One of the best comment
DeleteThanks
Very deep... Prayer seems like d only tin u av not tried
ReplyDeleteJesus will fix this amen
As in ehhh!!!
DeleteGo for sex therapies!!! That could help.......
ReplyDeleteits never that bad.. you two will learn. no sex before marriage is the best policy. too bad i didnt listen.
ReplyDeleteIt is well
ReplyDeleteHe's not just attracted to you sexually. He might love you very much and you might think otherwise but there is something called connection during sex. I once dated a guy that is very sexually active but when it comes to us making out his thing won't just stand abi na erect. We loved each other very much but could not have sex.
ReplyDeleteI want to advice you to get him another woman. Let him try with someone else. Stop complaining abt it. Don't teach him. Make him think you are cheating on him . See if him feeling jealous will arouse him. I just don't know what to tell you.
Maybe you have a smelly down below.... Who knows?
DeleteHe's not attracted to you probably you ain't pretty enough.
DeleteToo long and boring write up, too many questions and all d questions seems to b d same. If u are a virgin u can search for ur kind and marry if u are not ff ur kind too . I didn't marry as a virgin and I am yet to see myself in hell ! Did I forget to state dat his blessings in my life increased? Over to d virgins
ReplyDeleteYou need to DIE before you go to hell
DeleteYou need to DIE before you go to hell
DeleteLmao😂
DeleteThank you monkeynofine, after reading the first paragraph, I skimmed the entire thing to read comments. And I like your comment. Nigerians! Calypso a commenter once said, the lies bvs tell here can make the devil throw his 3-tonged fork on the ground and put his hands on his head, because he is no longer the master of lies and deceit!
DeleteStupid women that validate themselves with virginity but don't hold men accountable for their own virginity! And we wonder why Nigerian women will continued to be treated like crap by their men! Mschew.
Seats back to read comments and learn.....
ReplyDeleteJust simply get a divorce trust me that was my story,nothing good will happen staying in that dead marriage.
ReplyDeleteEwooooo😂
DeleteMschewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
ReplyDeleteMschewwwweerrrrrrrrrrr
Mscheweeeestttttttttttttt
Kai jor😩
DeleteAdvice the poster nah
Please put him in ur prayers..hmmm
DeleteToo many rules so I won't comment. Enjoy your marriage as e take be. We all can't get the same excitement from our marriage. Na wetin she buy from market she open be that.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy woman............
She fit steal meat from outside sha but no be me advise that one oh!
Wow! A very tight corner..I'm taking the back seat on this.
ReplyDeletePray,sister, pray! If someone on this blog could pray for bigger boobs and got them,u can pray for miracle sex too.I'm not joking, Your situation is bad and uve got to carry your cross. Start attending living faith on Wednesdays and let ur husband partake of the communion table, There's nothing, as in absolutely nothing ,Jesus can't do. Talk less about it, pray more about it. Wish u well.
ReplyDeleteShe prayed for bigger boobs and got it?? Did u see before and after pics? Do u knw if she was a teenager that her boobs hvnt stopped growing?? Una go de believe the lies from BVs
DeleteShe prayed for bigger boobs and got it? Did u see before and after pics? Do u knw if she was a teenager that her boobs hvnt stopped growing? Una go de believe the lies from BVs
DeleteHmmmm,this is a serious something oohhh
ReplyDeletehave tried the rape method NO I guess, have u tried the graveyard method, NO I guess, some pple get turned ON by this method. *bye*
ReplyDeleteHuh?
DeleteGraveyard method kwa?
*off to Google *
#WhiteDiamondOut
We as human beings like decieving ouselves. We know what is right but because we want to follow the voice of satan and do what's trending, we begin to cook up excuses. God created you and he commaded you to shorn extra marital sex. He knows what's best for you. You can't know more than your creator. God does not burden a soul with more than it can bear or handle.
ReplyDeleteLet he who is without shame continue seeking sexual knowledge from pre marital sex and looking for excuses to justify the immoral.
Eesah, you're right.
DeleteThis is what most people say when they want to justify it.
If you want to do, just do, and stop the silly justifications.
Nope, I'm not a saint, but what is wrong is wrong.
#WhiteDiamondOut
Did you read at all? Ewu
DeleteShun
DeletePlease shut the fuck up! Aunty Mary Amaka! If dem check na you fuck pass. Mtswww
DeleteAn intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex...
ReplyDeleteAn impotent man is one who makes comments like yours!
DeleteAnonymous has killed me on. Hahahaha
DeleteOh goodness!!! It feels like I wrote this! Or did I??? I couldn't have!!!
ReplyDeleteBRB
My own advise to women all over the world, never ever every marry a man or a woman you haven't kpanshed, all that put leg like mammy water na story....definitely wait o until you are both committed, yes but waiting till after marriage, God forbid bad thing. No be me go enter one chance. Sweerrrrat.....u are married... U might as well deal with being in a sexless marriage.Because your goody two shoes don land you here so chick carry your load ehn biko. No one can hellllep pi you o but yourself.
ReplyDeleteOh My God
ReplyDeletesorry for what you are going thru
I was going to advice PORN until I saw it
How bout u stay on top and just ride him like a horse?
clueless at the moment
Lol @ the last question
DeleteUna no go kill person
Chai! Just pray n manage it. Your money is an everlasting coverup
ReplyDeleteTorrr. I guess d answer lies already in d write up.
ReplyDeleteLemme sit on the couch & read comments, stella hope this couch is clean oh, too many ppl sit on it.
ReplyDeleteLol.
DeleteI'd advice you to carry your own during any of our 'meetings' then.
#WhiteDiamondOut
Lol.. Na standing I dey. I no wan carry bedbug go house.
DeleteAs in ehn
DeleteThe couch seff don tear😂
Hahaha Don Mayor u r cray.
DeleteNa wa o. You have asked him all the questions that the world might need you to ask him and done what is practically possible to help the situation but I will still ask one question. Do you love him, I mean love him enough to be patient with him? You said its just months in to the marriage, try harder to know what he might have suffered in the past sexually,be sure he was not ever abused so that you can know how best to handle this. I pray you find solution, its a pity you are in this situationship but its not enough reason for our young ones not to tie their leg like mami water before marriage. God standard its still the same.
ReplyDeleteWonders of the world!!
ReplyDeleteMost everything b him, him, him,? Teach him how to fuck, how to bath how to do dis and dat . Na wa oooo u people most find one wat or d other to talk about men and marriage on dis blog!
ReplyDeleteWOW! I am not a bad girl oh! but i can't stand a man that won't have his hands all over me always.Poster your husband seriously needs therapy.May God help you two.
ReplyDeleteA friend once told me of a very similar case. Dude was molested as a child and became...well. .."frigid" towards sex. Or so the wife tot UNTIL SHE CAUGHT HIM WATCHING CHILD GAY PORNOGRAPHY! !!!!!! Poster ur hubby is either gay or is a pedophile. He won't get turned on by u or any woman for that mata even normal pornography won't. Na child pornography and gay ones E body wants. Sad. I think u should divorce his sorry ass cos he deceived you. If he came out clean u might know exactly what kind of counselling will help him.
ReplyDeleteAnd you automatically concluded this man has same trait as what your friend told you?? You already concluded he is gay or pedophile?? Wow.. You must be a good psychologist who analyze people without even seeing them
DeleteThis is a very delicate issue. You both have to see a counsellor... I will recommend Mr. Praise Fawowe
ReplyDeleteWow... This write up is a rare case o. Because most men have an idea of what to do, even their first time. What I mean is, everyone had a first time. My gf told me her husband and her had to read books and learn together. Some books teach about how to thrust and body type. To your case, what did the medical tests reveal? every body have something that they atleast enjoy doing. Does he like the BJ? I believe if he is healthy and not gay, Then you both should talk about it and read books. I suggest reading because, reading help us create our own world and in that world, I cannot be ashamed as I am alone.Find out if he likes anything at all in the sex game. I really pray you find solutions, but please do not leave him (except you find out that the kini is spiritual o). Good luck girl
ReplyDeleteItz all in the mind. He has to desire it deep down.
ReplyDeleteBtw, bvns, Say no to pre-marital sex oo.
Oogun wa oo (there are spiritual battles that comes wit it) believe it or not.
#yourcommentswillbevisiblenow
'Flee from fornication' says Jehovah, abstain from pre Marital sex. There is no need painting this issue...tie your legs!
ReplyDeleteI think he needs therapy. Try LikeMynds Nigeria. They're in Abuja, I'm not sure where but you can search for them on Facebook and take it from there.
ReplyDeleteI heard they are professional and discreet.
I agree with North Dakota. Meet a sex therapist to bring out the sex receptivity in him, do not give up on him.
ReplyDeleteWhen i told my husband i could not marry who i haven't slept with he was amazed, he was a virgin at that time. I taught him everything there is to know about sex and even bought some erotic books for him. Thank God he learnt fast and got a Ph.D
It is well with you dear. BV's that shouldn't make you guys not tie your legs and pretend to be mermaids o, hian.
My friend told me a similar story about someone she knows.
ReplyDeleteThe guy was a born again Christian and always said no sex before marriage, she wasn't happy abt it but she understood thinking atleast he is God fearing and he takes care of her very well. My friend asked her if she hasn't atleast tried touching him before or feeling hard-on while kissing. They kissed but anytime she wanted to get closer or atleast touch him down dere he will just move and say till marriage.
So the wedding day came and at nite when she wanted to touch, he started saying his tired and wanted to sleep. That is when she became angry and wanted to rape him with force. My dear d thing no gree stand oh, and she said d dick was so small like a childs own.
So he broke-down and shared his secret, that he cant get it up, and he has tried different things, Doctors says its psychological.
That same nite d lady packed backed to her parents house and narrated d story. Bride price was returned o.
I like the action lady! Apart from sex, what else is to be enjoyed in marriage? Cooking, cleaning, communicating or taking the crap from in-laws and husbands? Sex solves a lot of quarrel between couples, it makes them closer. Good sex, makes couples happy, because the brain releases chemical during the act.
DeleteThis is the reason I don't think pre marital sex is bad, so far it's not abused. How can you pick a shoe or shirt on a shelf without checking if it fits before paying ?
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine it.
Same thing my father always said!
DeleteI understand your plight ma'am. I have never commented on this blog since I've been a member, but trust me your lamentations touched me because it reminds me of my sister during the time of her own dilemma. If what you mentioned above is really happening to you then I'll like you to reach me on stellaisaac850@gmail.com. I'll tell you exactly how my sister conquered this same issue she had with her husband.
ReplyDeletePray until you get result. Only God can do this and I know if you believe, He will do it. Its a minor issue in the sight of God. Shalom
ReplyDeletePray until konji kill you is more like it! 😂😂😂
DeleteThis is a physical problem. Use wisdom!
DeleteI wonder who taught Adam n Eve how to have sex, or even Isaac and Rebecca sotey they were found fondling. Poster, ur mind will let u see what u wanna see. If God says no sex before marriage, its cos he knows that sex after marriage would still go as planned. Abi, no be one time peraon go do for the first time? Ur hubby has a problem, go see a sexologist and also try not to breathe down his neck, all these qs u keep asking the dude could make him nervous and we all know that one has to be relaxed to have the best sex. Above all pray and work hard at resenting ur hubby over this issue. See an expert or pray, God has a way of making u see what needs to be done. I know what im saying!
ReplyDeleteHe sound like someone who is asexual. The other thing is that he may have high estrogen levels, or low testosterone. It may be wise for him to have his hormone levels checked out.
ReplyDeleteMen don't have estrogen! Where were you educated???
DeleteHear the very clueless ones saying they should have done it before marriage first as if God that commanded against fornication doesn't know better. Why is it that people always try to drag others to their path of destruction? Is the problem that they decided to honor God's law or that they haven't connected sexually?
ReplyDeletePoster, my opinion on this issue is to talk and talk it out. He has a psychological problem that he hasn't shared with anyone and until he accepts that its past and heals completely, no matter what you give to him or where you take him to nothing would change. So, my dear, ask him of past relationships, did he try to have sex at any point in his whether forced or voluntary? If voluntary, was his effort/attempt mocked? Most men completely shut down whenever their first attempt not only at (but especially) sex is met with ridicule. Did he get laughed at during his formative years? He needs to have a psychological evaluation together with you Madam because you may also be part of the problem.
You should also give it time (maybe a year or two or even 5), eventually you two would find a rhythm that suits you both.
Writer am in same dilemma with you but I think I have accepted my faith cos you are already married there is nothing you can do about it pray to have kids and move on okay
ReplyDeleteYour husband's got low libido/absence of libido... affects approximately 1 in 5 men. It's a sexual dysfunction and has nothing to do with you. Good news is, it can be treated. Let no doctor tell you nothing! It can be treated,give it time,be patient. Y'all been married for months? Sorry, hang in there. There are lots of treatment for this now,well,y'all are exposed, you should know this,if you don't, do your research. You're rich, fly abroad if you have to. This is a disease that could end your marriage, treat it seriously,no kid gloves. it's cute how you trying to teach him gently, talk to him,advice him... it's cute really but he needs professional help at this point. Thank God you're both civil, exposed,rich and educated, all these qualities will come in handy to your husband the help he needs. Goodluck!
ReplyDeletehnmmmmm
ReplyDeleteDear Poster,
it is well. i think your hubby is lying about the gay part because all this is are symptoms of gayism. Take him to a strip club and see his reactions forget the porn give him live performance. First take him to a female strip club then surprise him with a gay club.
Its not a medical condition i know females like this it takes time for them to get aroused. His GAY
He ain't gay, stupid!. Shebi devil wan use you now?
DeleteHian! Oku anu na otu na ds blog dikwe-egwu. Madu ama nu ife.
ReplyDeleteMeaning- prick and toto matter on this blog is something else. Somebody will not even hear something else
U should get him burantashi from those haus people or viagra. There are other drugs a good doc can also prescribe, better still see a sexologist.
ReplyDeleteErectile dysfunction.... One : anxiety could be the problem ..He needs to improve on his diet and take a lot of bananas it helps ...and have you tried sex enhancment drugs if not then this is a clear case of ed....I'll tell you what to do let me know if you are interested.
ReplyDelete@Poster, please seek spiritual help.Call Pastor James on 08033830065. The devil is on rampage with all manner of demonic projections on children of God. All you need to divine intervention to heal his impotence. Then the styles can come.Nkmama(Hope Stella will post my comment)
ReplyDeleteLife is already too stressful to be sexually frustrated.
ReplyDeleteThe problem with most women is that they don't even understand their own bodies so it's difficult to teach someone else how to please them.
You need to do some homework on your own. Find your sensitive spots and make them known to him. Let him start with foreplay. If he can constantly work on just for play for about 3 weeks, he'll master it.
Please buy some sex toys and knock yourself out. Make sure he watches you pleasure yourself. It'll help him get aroused. You have to be patient with him . Teach him how to pleasure you. Penetrative sex is just a tip of the ice berg. Good foreplay can leave you grinning ear to ear for days.
Then you can work you way down to the real deal. What I can't guarantee is how long he'll last.
All the master bangers you see today started up naive too. They had to keep practising until they perfected their sex game. It'll require a lot of patience , but you can do it.
its not a matter of her loving him or not. i can boldly say she loves him but just like the deep love we have for our family members take for example your siblings, you should not on a normal situation develop sexual feelings towards them. poster you are not alone, i love my wife dearly newly married too not up to a year but that sexual connection is not there. she does not crave sex nor feel it like it should be. one round and she is fine, yet to initiate sex and sees porn or dirty talk as bad. She is everything a man would want from his wife except good sex. just like yours we had to wait till our wedding night. let pray time changes things because such people find it hard to change or adjust.its a mental condition coupled with moral belief. i would like us to be friends, reply my comment if interested. BTW am male..
ReplyDeleteShe will adjust with time, it happened to me,Thank God my Hubby was patient me,gradually I stopped feeling shy,stopped praying for forgiveness of sin after sex,learnt to play with his body and allow him play with mine. 12 years now,we are still loving ourselves like never before.
DeleteWhat if he used his manhood for rituals...don't rule out any possibility... This is beyond ordinary...
ReplyDeleteLet God be true and everyman be a liar.He is PERFECT.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm let me sip sobo and eat popcorn while I wait and read comment
ReplyDeleteDear Poster, firstly check if he has an erection in the morning like every male does in the morning (even a male child has one in the morning), if he does, then you know whatever the problem is, is not physical.
ReplyDeleteThen, I believe that after all you have written up there, that he is either gay or asexual. You really don't expect him to confess to you that he is gay do you? If he is gay, then I really don't know the way forward for you. Its either you stay in the sham of a marriage and be ready to cheat on him eventually or you move on with your life. From you write up, the marriage is still very young with no children so that shouldn't be so difficult. However if he is a really good person and a good man to you but gay and you wish to remain in the marriage, then you can both come to an arrangement that would work for both parties (not for me to suggest the arrangements o).
However if he is asexual, then I suggest you go on Google to read more about that condition and find out whether there are any treatments available for that and then you can decide how you wish to proceed. Once more if he is a good person and good man to you but asexual and you do not wish to leave the marriage, then follow the steps already suggested above.
Even with all of the above mentioned, please continue to pray for your man and your marriage. May God grant you the wisdom to deal with this situation in the right way. E-hugs...
@ Iyke emma u couldnt have put it any better, the write up is annoying, rubbish is putting it mildly. As for the matter, its a strong one oo, but the ultimate decision lies in your hands. Marriage is meant to be enjoyed not endured. i tell you that before long you will not only become frustrated but you will be depressed, and u know depression leads to many oda things. There are only two ways to solve ur problem no matter how any1 puts it to you, its either you are IN OR OUT. weigh your sanity, happiness and other things before making your decision because there is no middle ground and while am a great advocator for prayer there are some problems that you av no business praying about, taking practical steps will give u answers. for eg u want to write an exam and instead of reading ure praying does it make sense? *sips tea*
ReplyDeleteFrom Poster: Thank you
DeletePlease i once had a relationship like that,this kind of person dos not need his kind seriously, all you need to do is to be crazy as in do things he dos not believe in like making love to him in his car, playing wit his dick when he dos not expect it.
ReplyDeleteIts works like fire, the guy i dated was like that, he works with arik airline, has a very good attractive dick but never new how to make use of it. all he knows was work and church until i came into his life. serious ajebuta o as in mummy's boy.
He could not stay on a woman for 5mins o. i started teaching him how to drink mild alcohol and staying out late, when he want to drop me off, i will make advances and make love to him inside the car.
A whole lot of thing that i can't say it here, i was spoiling him too much but he his married with 2 kids now he still want me back.
i can't marry him cos he can't make decision as a man. everything in his life is my mummy.
Hahaha.... he's not mummy boy. he's diaper boy
DeleteBiko I need to talk to a Sexologist asap.
ReplyDeleteGo ahead!.. Lol
DeleteAre u one???or u wanna recommend one?
DeleteI will never have sex till after marriage, I know the God I save will never put me to shame. If I keep His commandment and obey His words, nothing is impossible with Him.
ReplyDeleteI know you dont want to believe it, but your husband is GAY or a PEDO
ReplyDeleteYes dear, he is. Obviously he will say NO if you ask him. Do you expect him to say YES?
Babes... he is GAY.
Start snooping, stop forming good girl, you will find the answers to your questions before long. OR you can start prayers to change your husband so that he can find you alluring. OR you can invite a beautiful girl into the bedroom for a 3some as see if he responds.
But i think he is GAY.
Pele but God can't be mocked. Even if u don't av sex b4 marriage, u re not a kid or blind not to av noticed all these! But pray harder n be patience
ReplyDeleteOya Bvs of spiritual wives ad husband I'm surprised you haven't talked of spiritual wife lol
ReplyDeletehello dear sis,
ReplyDeletethis is my two naira, hoping it would be useful
firstly I want you to know that God doesn't do junk and no matter how tough the situation is .. shebi he changed water to wine? shebi he brought water out of a rock?...
if your answer to my queries is yes, then believe he will help you guys overcome this , secondly PRAY before you start this assignment
this is not the time for you to be frustrated, imagine this was your child who needed help, please help your man with love
you need to dig more into him, what was growing up like, did he face a traumatic situation?
also you need to read about related stuff, forst type in frigid, get information, read and luckily you may stumble on something that would help
take your mind off sex for this period it maybe tough but you also don't want him to be tense and uncomfortable... use the period to nuture, and grow yourselves TOGETHER,bath together, eat together,and always create enabling environments
teach him how to caress you and also learns a few tricks from massage therapy.. it works
as I said it will take time but if you are committed, eventually you will come out victorious.
I pray God will see you through this and you shall testify to his good ness
I recommend Prayer, Sex therapist and counseling. Still a virgin at 26, so i can't dish more than I know. God please help me with future hubby cos I wan tire leg like mermaid till marriage.
ReplyDeleteMake we relate
Delete@ EEASH are you a virgin? abi are you one of those bad babes/guy turn born again that won't let people hear word with your fake Christianity.
ReplyDeleteYou see people that carry church on their head and claim born again, abeg fear them. They are the worse kind of human being on earth. Please quote me anywhere and I will defend my statement.
I fear them!
DeleteOne was seriously romancing a JSS girl at the backyard by a neighbor who was using the toilet then. It was in a face-me-i-face-you-house. He said, the way the man was squeezing the girl boobs and rubbing himself against her, it was if he should do it there. And this SU man, does not miss church, always with his bible, looking quiet, and pious.
Ok here's what to do ...let us see your picture and figure so we can judge...you might have a smelly couchy or you are non attractive to him in order words you might be a confirm "atutupoyoyo" meaning FUGLY.....its still an assumption until we see your pics honey don't be mad..or your mom locked your pussy when you were a kid sensing promiscuity.....
ReplyDeleteI think you should talk to a professional therapist, sleep in separate rooms in the time being while he is worked on.
ReplyDeleteYou did right by waiting and sex is a normal human activity, meaning, he should be able to do you effectively the first time so he has an issue which can be resolved.
Start by assuring him you will be by his side no matter what, then give him space to work with his professional therapist.
All the best. Try Jerome Onipede. You'll get a number if you google him
This prick and Toto matter for this blog ehnnn...
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeletei was in 100level when my cousin took me to ashawo joint to fuck, the ashawo play with the thing so tey, bros no rise oo, i was so disappointed in myself and was afraid to touch or even near girls. Girls will be giving me green light in my offcampus room like this as a new club boy then i will be afraid to knack. my deliverance came through my sis highly sexy and older landlord's daughter when i was on break from sch. Omo i no fit forget that babe or that day, her wetness thick pass snail saliva, from bedroom she invited me to the bathroom to rub her back, from bathroom back to bedroom. omo stupid thing rise ooo, i was so happy, that the thing responded this time, but after like 7 thrust JT became soft. I was disappointed again not knowing that JT became soft bcos have released. got to know that JT will be soft after release later. @ poster work on your guy am sure he is just afraid being a virgin.
for every human there is something called sexual receptivity, it is a sexual trigger in every man, in the body of every man and woman it has a location and perception. you need to locate where his own is. this can also be a psychological problem where his psychological trigger for sex is dead so you need to visit a psychologist and a sex therapist and of-course GOD ultimately is the number one solution to all problem in the life. its a challenge, once you overcome it you become a pro in it and a solution provider in that regard, for every challenge you face there is a purpose in it for you to help others.
ReplyDeleteLick his prostrate in between his ass and his balls he go fuck you like say he hate you
ReplyDeletePlease find out if he was sexually abused as a child!
ReplyDeleteMy dear in a case like this you will need to be very calm while trusting God.
ReplyDeleteI was in this shoes for months but I was able to conquer.
How? I started using Google like never before reading and researching and while I do that I always munch every studies for him too sometimes I send him the links but along the line I discovered he prefers to read from the screen munch than open links.
I made sure I dint make him feel bad about himself for being a virgin, so I used my God's given talent, experience, research and prayers to win.
You also will need to check his diet and encourage him to avoid all he needs to.
Teach him how your body works or what gives you pleasure in your body,that way when he makes an effort you wil get satisfaction
And before you know it he will learn others ways of giving you pleasures on his own.
Stop telling people about your problems they can only confuse you o.
Make up your mind to enjoy your marriage sex wise.
Note that this kind of people easily gets disconnected while trying, your countenance for instance, the way you look at him etc let passion exude from all you do on him. reason is because passion is the only force of connection.
Lastly always pray for him.
This was how I overcame my own and I tell you that I enjoy my marriage sex wise now o, he is now so creative such that I suspect it was the devil who was trying to rob me of sweet sex and yea I experience the big O always.
May God be with you and give you wisdom to get through this IJN amen.
Have tou told us the foundation of your choice? Did you accept your husband out of your own choice or did you hear from God. Never instigate fear to be the excuse to fornicate. Trust God and always ask questions.
ReplyDeleteMothers do you teach a baby the position of the breast or how to suck it when she is born? Does she not simply grab the breast and start sucking? That is what sex in marriage is like; the natural instinct is to do it. There is no excuse for premarital sex; it is sinful.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I were virgins before we got married in our late twenties and we began to learn together from day one. It's been more than a decade and we are sexually fulfilled. How did I know he was virile? Good question. Foremost, revelation from God for me to marry him; so faith plays a peculiar role. I knew that God will not give me anything that is not wholesome for his word says that his blessings has got no sorrow with it. Again, during courtship; I'd noticed that when we stand up to kiss, he gets erected and I could feel his size on my thighs; but he had every self control. I laughed at him but I was happy that I was getting married to a man. Like I said, we are very sexually fulfilled. I have orgasm anytime we have sex.
Now to your challenge poster. Ask your husband two questions; 1. Dabbling into the occult (for wealth or any of the things of this life). 2. Premarital sex or dumping a girl he impregnated; could have done it with a girl from the cults. Well these are the two scenarios that I know of and the scripture says that the sorrows of those that seek other gods will multiply.
Whatever be the case, begin to fast and pray with him; like morning till evening (drinking water) until you begin to see results. If he is given to alcohol or tobacco or any addictive drug, he should drop them. Seek Jesus to help you for he can do it.
Don't worry about where I was educated, worry about why you do not know that men have estrogen in small amounts naturally, just like women have testosterone in small amounts naturally. Some men do have a higher than normal amount of estrogen likely caused by diet or environmental factors, when this is the case it will affect their sex life.
ReplyDeleteAwwww! I'm sorry about your plight, my darling. Your marriage isn't a year yet and you're already frustrated sexually. Are you sure you really love him? I don't mean, love him enough to marry him, like some ladies do. I mean head-over-hills kinda love. If you do, it will be easier to be patient with him. Don't get it wrong, I'm of the school of thought that good sex is EXTREMELY important for a happy and healthy marriage. So don't think I'm saying you should be patient and hope for improvement without seek professional help. I'm saying be patient enough to keep exploring ways to remedy his situation without making him feel less than a man.
ReplyDeleteObviously, something is fundamentally wrong with him and until it is discovered and tackled, it may get worse. Sex is cephalic because it is controlled by the mind though it's expressed physically or physiologically. The problem lies in his mind. Something or someone happened to make him sexually inept. The discovery has to be done by an expert trained to handle sex related issues. They can still help if it turns out to be a pathological problem.
Most people underestimate the power and efficacy of prayer. If you develop a personal relationship with God, you'll see Him as the loving Father He is. A Father you can talk to about anything, yes, ANYTHING! You're married, so God wants you to enjoy your sexual life with your hubby. Unfortunately, most churches are too "religious" to preach about the beauty and importance of sex between married couples. They still see sex as a taboo which will "defile" the church if addressed, but that's not true. God Himself created sex to be enjoyed by married couples and not to be frustrating.
Who better to ask for help than the Creator of sex? Praying, in this case, is not necessarily for God to boost his sexual desires overnight, though that's also possible if your faith is strong enough. Pray for God to direct you to people or places where his problem can be fixed. Through God's divine arrangement, you can bump into a TV programme, a book, or even a person who has gone through something similar or your exact predicament. There's nothing too hard or too trivial for God to do. We are the ones who limit the move of God because we just conclude that some issues are "forbidden" or too banal to take to God in prayer.
No matter how you decide to seek help, make sure you support it with prayers because the spiritual controls the physical. Favour makes labour unnecessary. Don't rule prayers out, honey. I pray you find help soon.
#e-bearhugs.