Hmmm......Sorry i could not post photos of abuse because of the Children showing in the photo.
''Good day Stella,
Thank you for this platform that has been a great help to the helpless.
I can't thank you enough. You will continue to make a difference in your generation.
I can't thank you enough. You will continue to make a difference in your generation.
My story is a bit long, everyone please bear with me as you read.
Constructive advice is highly needed.
Constructive advice is highly needed.
Let me go straight to the point. This morning i woke up to get myself and kids ready for church so i brought out the clothes they will put on and my hubby went to checkout the clothes, the next thing he started looking for another clothe to wear them and he said that the one i brought out to wear them looked worn out. These were clothes i used my money to get them last December and he never bothered to know if his kids wear clothes or not, he doesn't give me money to cater for them or anything.
So i use my salary in making sure the kids eat and wear clothes. So he started saying the clothes looked worn out and i told him to stop being unfair, that i got those clothes with the little money on me, that it was what the money could afford. Supposing he gave me some money i would have added it to the one on me and got them something better. The next thing he started calling me useless woman and before i could say jerk he pounced on me in front of my elder sister and beat me blue black. This is not the first time he did that.
This is a man who calls himself a pastor and yet he's an opposite of a pastor.
I work and labour myself to make sure the home keeps running. All my salary goes to the home. He doesn't care if I wear clothes or i am taken care of. Our children Daniels and Daniella are supposed to start school September, no money, no plans for that either. All he believes is that manna will fall from heaven.
I work and labour myself to make sure the home keeps running. All my salary goes to the home. He doesn't care if I wear clothes or i am taken care of. Our children Daniels and Daniella are supposed to start school September, no money, no plans for that either. All he believes is that manna will fall from heaven.
Just last week i lost my job and the few days I've been at home has not been funny. You call yourself a man, you wake up in the morning all you do is play game on your phone. If i encourage him to go and see what he can do to take care of his family he won't talk to me for days. He will abuse me emotionally, psychologically, physically.
With the high rate of domestic abuse going on lately am so scared for my life and my kids because he has threatened to kill me. E.g the late Ronke who was killed by her husband @egbada, leaving her two kids behind.
Please can some one recommend me the right authorites that can handle my case.
Here my details: 08037429300. danellakings@gmail.com
Please can some one recommend me the right authorites that can handle my case.
Here my details: 08037429300. danellakings@gmail.com
Stella please find attached the pic of the abuse and that of my kids.''
*We spoke at length before I decided to publish her story...Especially for the sake of her twins.
Gradually, their eyes r becoming open. Stop staying in abusive marriages coz of your children. Madam, I pray u find help soon but deal with that useless man b4 leaving to teach him a lesson
ReplyDeleteStupid Lazy ass man that is using "endtimepastor" to cover up. You don't have money,yet you want to dress rich. Anumanu. I won't even be surprised if his name is JAMES. Though the James on this blog is a female, her comments reflect this kind of low life poor men that still want to oppress their wives instead of channelling that energy to work.
DeleteGod knows, I will just sedate him and use bread knife and chop of 3fingers from his right hand(leaving only the thumb and little finger) and then uproot all the nails in his left hand. Nonsense!
Madam,you've done the right thing by speaking out,instead of dying in silence and keep hoping and praying he'll change.God knows I can't stand a lazy man.Very foolish man.You see my problem with all these 'Pastors?' very foolish man.A sorry excuse for a man,let alone a human being.You'll surely get the help you seek,but when you do,DO NOT LOOK BACK!!!
DeleteLol@anon u don finish dis james...kikikiki
DeleteAnon 11:15 thank u, James is a woman. Infact xp all dis ur deciding tactics I am challenging u to find out who James is, I just want to knw his sex.... Thank u ma
DeleteThank God your eyes are open, Pastor my foot. A man who cannot provide or cater for his family is worse than an infidel and that's what the Bible says. I hate irresponsible men whole heartedly.
DeleteAnyway, I pray you find help and I hope that you won't go and start doing pity pity when he realizes that you want to leave him and stay back. For him to beat you, this is just the beginning, he WILL NEVER change. Please move to your parents house, I know he'll think because he's a so called pastor, you won't leave. Stupid man. I wish I can get his number to call and talk sense into him. Please a d please and please, don't stay with him. I'm sure the man is even very fat and demands for two pieces of meat despite bringing nothing to the table.
May God give you wisdom dear.
Xp is not the only person that know IDs someone posted about Nwamaka I went to Google to search Claris David and Wide Eyed is Back came up. This blod thieves everywhere
DeleteMosi Jubelo...you no go focus on your miserable life rather than looking for people's husbands to talk to...who ask for your assistance? Na your type go form talking & mediation...next thing you're gbenshing a p pastor & pregnant for him.
DeleteI can't stand lazy men🙄
ReplyDeleteI pray u find the help u need babe.
Mehn I'm tired of y'all
DeleteNo man has a right to lay his filthy hands on a woman regardless of what may have been.
Bt then @poster u said it isn't d first,so what have u been waiting for all ds while? Cos I just can't comprehend
2ndly all ur horseband did was to look for another clothes to wear them...y did u have to remind him u used ur money to get d clothes and what not.
I feel u were wrong and u indirectly triggered d beating. You knw a poor et lazy man is an angry man
In asmuch as I don't condone his actions,i felt u should have bridled ur tongue knowing d kind of man u married
It's of my opinion u were wrong and so is he
From d above,i doubt ud b leaving d marriage anytime soon.
Your type just bicker for a while and den stay put
Elena, for once I agree wwith you.
DeleteThe clothes must have really looked worn out for the man to try to look for a different set. When they come out blaming the men totally like this ehn, I don't believe them cos they paint themselves as perfect. That being said... no woman should remain in a violent home in 2016. My mum will personally use soldiers and pack your load.
Elena chop kiss!!!! Some women will never learn...
DeleteElena,STOP blaming the woman for saying her mind when the guy in the first place looked for trouble by countering her choice of clothes for the kids.
DeleteIf it was a man like him or maybe Floyd mayweather that asked him that question, will he not be answering yes SIR? If he was in the UK or America, will he even lift his upper eye lid not to talk of fingers.
Nigerian men in these countries transform "anything not to be sent bk to Naija". Once they enter Naija, all the hairs in their body will stand and be chanting "I am a man, I am a man"
You are a medical doctor and when a woman cannot open her mouth to say her mind in a relationship for fear of beating is also Emotional abuse. You cannot talk only to be answering YES! YES! Is she a slave?
Please you would have stopped after your first few lines.
Once any man cannot challenge Floyd Mayweather for a fight for a similar offence his wife committed then let him tuck his hands inside his anus. Why don't he defend himself back verbally? If he sees his fellow man now,he will pooh and piss on himself.
Elena dear,while you may be right to an extent,HE HAD NO RIGHT WHATSOEVER to lay his poverty stricken,filthy hands on her.He shouldn't even be heard complaining of the clothes being worn out when he doesn't provide for his family,is he mad? I too would have reminded him that he didn't provide nada therefore is in no position to say which clothe is so worn out for the Children to wear.Useless man he is!!!
DeleteElena u said it well, she never ready. She just need to b comforted and told she is right. Madam check last week Thursday or so u wld see d help u seek.
Delete"Indirectly triggered the beating?" Stop making excuses for this man's action and stop blaming the victim. No matter what she might have said, he had no right to lay his hands on here and her. She's not a child.
DeleteElena her response shows she had bottled up emotion against the lazy man plus she lost her job a week before
DeleteA man who can't buy dress has no right to complain on how the dress she bought look like, is like a Man who didn't drop money for soup complaining on the kind of meat in the soup
Poster report him in his church
But you self married him knowing fully well that he's jobless
Oh!!!!!pleeeeeeaaaaase just stop it!! Why blame her? That is the problem with women...we will never hold a sister's hand in support, and tell her it's OK to rant. Women blaming women. A man will always support his kind whether bad or good. Do you care about her emotional state? If the idiot of a husband cared do much,why didn't he do the buying?Why??? Lady,i may not know you but you are loved. E-hugs. He doesn't have any right to punch you,honey. You are not his punching bag. He is a weakling and a coward. Pastor without morale
DeleteFor all of you agreeing with Elena,may your husband's anger always be triggered everytime you talk, and may he give you koko on your eyes and forehead.
DeleteIdiats
Elena and her crew members supporting d husband may God Almighty forgive u people. To think u Elena are female, I just really can't comprehend. D husband in question does not buy clothes for d kids so who is he to complain that cloths are old? If he doesn't want his kids to wear warn out clothes he should provide money to buy them new clothes if not he should STFU, stupid brokeass frustrated man taking out his frustration on his poor wife. We women, may God help us, y do we hate each other so much. May God forgive u elena and ur supporters. Useless set of human beings.
DeleteAnon 14:44.....i couldn't stop laughing@ur comment.Amen
DeleteWhats with blaming d lady.. U pple shud be acting as 'enablers' oh
DeleteAnonymous 15:15...I hope if your husband (that's if you have one) abruptly changes the TV when you're watching a favorite show, you STFU & stay put because he bought the TV, abi? Vampire bat
DeleteGod what is all this? Dv everywhere. Sometimes I look at my boo and I silently pray for him never to change from the loving and caring man he is. Dear poster, I pray God gives you the wisdom to do the right thing
ReplyDeleteKai...virgin Mary take your love with St. Joseph & keep it jejeje to yourselves, we're not interested in the details, biko!
DeleteChai!..
ReplyDeleteThis is what you get when you marry a useless lazy church rat!...
Single girls on this blog hope you guys are learning from all these stories...
Don't ever settle for less!...
reject that broke ass nigga using fake love to wash your brain now!!!!....
My dear..you are right!
DeleteGbam
DeleteThe Queen herself
DeleteLool
DeleteSingles girls...don't forget to EARN a living!!! Ashewo, runs, aristo, sugar babe & BEGGING no be work!!! There's no I in this TEAM called marriage. If he isn't up to par, pray & encourage NOT ridicule & display your diarrhea of the mouth
DeleteTomorrow now,we will hear as Pastor wife we had to reconcile!!!!
ReplyDeleteI dey tell you
DeleteAs in eh...in order to keep being a shinning example to the flock.
DeleteNo be small pastor wife settlement.
DeleteMadam you should have allowed him to get another cloths for the kids, all the same he has no right to lay a finger on you. Try as much as possible to avoid him please
ReplyDeleteAre you OK? You trying to put the blame on her or what?
DeleteIf you ve got nothing reasonable to say, just shush it. If avoiding him is the way you handle your own DV saga, Good luck but be reminded that an abuser needs no reason to pounce on his victim
You ignore him, it becomes an issue
You respond, its a bigger issue
You try to get away, he let's all hell loose
My torts too...why didn't she allow him to get another cloths for the kids....and later quietly tell him about it later. Two wrongs can never make a right, you know your husband better than us, so you will know when his anger is brewing...
DeletePastor is just a 'title' he can't be holier than the Pope...he is human.
I bet we will be shocked if we hear the Story side from your husband. Stop provoking your Men, know when to let GO...
Monkey face,truer words have never been said!!
DeleteSmart angel ur not so smart afterall.dumb demon
DeleteAm of the opinion that if we begin to show faces of these abusers they will begin to be careful with their actions. A lot of women go through worst things in their homes and because we don't want the society to label us single parents we stay put. A living dog is better than a dead lion. They also seek advices they never follow. Sorry ma, but you can't build a case against him when you both are in same house. He may destroy you before you get there. Begin with finding a safe place for your self and the kids before you think of fighting back. It's my opinion you don't have to take it.
ReplyDeleteSupported. I don't even want to see the victim, I want to pictures of the abuser all over the internet with the wounds attached to him. Nonsense! A pastor, I wonder what he pastors. How dare you lay your hands on a human being.
DeleteEven the bible strongly condemns a man that cannot provide for his family.
Seconded
DeleteThirded
And even
Forthed
She should just leavr, as a pastor that should embarrass him. How can you shepherd others when you can't put your own house in order? Let church members know he hits you, and that he's a fake pastor.
DeleteAnonymous 10:58...The same bible says that if your right hand would lead you to sin, that you should cut it off. Please show a pictorial evidence of your short or long sleeve cut or are you a saint? Y'all be fanatically using the bible to incite & project rubbish! No be same church wey tell you for better for worse? So why are y'all skipping that one & championing divorce but are quick to quote rubbish to castigate the man?
DeleteAre you not Stupid anon 18:52, You must either be an abuser or you have been abused to the point that you have lost a crucial part of your brain.
DeleteYou see that part of bible that if your right hand would lead you to sin is exactly meant for the monster Pastor and his likes like you.
Don't children allover the world wear old clothes? Why must he allow himself to allow his eyes and ego make him change the wife's choice of clothes in the beginning sef? How many times has he brought money to feed those children. Yet he wants them to appear rich in public so that people that will even help them will not bother.
Stupid ego! Going by that portion of bible you quoted, that pastor should pluck his two eyes, cut off that manhood he is using to have sex and also cut off his both hands.
In your attempt to defend your kind,you ended up giving lines for his burial. Go and rot in hell! Idiot. Will he fight Mayweather if he spits at his face and cuss the living daylight out of him? Nonsense! Once they see woman they will start flexing grasshopper muscles.
Mad cow! Will you fight a common ashewo on the road, make she take bottle tattoo your face. Comparing apple & oranges & hoping to make sense from nothing. How many times has he brought money...do you live with them or because a woman is crying wolf, everyone fails for it. No same judgement to hear both sides of the story. Maybe your own children wear torn clothes & it's normal to you, so it's hard to fathom that other people want better things for their children unlike you sadist
DeleteNawaooooo. God have mercy
ReplyDeleteYour elder sister was there and he was beating you?
ReplyDeleteOoh,what a weak sister you got.
Please check 4 posts of last week, you will see agency 4 DV.
All the best, I hope you won't run back to him.
Portable, my new blog crush!
DeleteAww waz ya nite? 🐵🐵🐵
Oh my Portable,never knew the day would come when I'd have to agree with you...lmao.Chop kiss jare!!
DeleteGiiiiirrrllllll!!!! That was the line that made my eyes see red! I have an older sister but if her husband tried that shit in front of me, he should be ready to have facial reconstruction! This is even before I call my brothers! They kuku think I'm the crazy one! God forbid! BUAHAHAHA!!! Weak fools! Like they go around fighting their bosses, colleagues, employees or even an okada man that would annoy them on the streets! This is the kind of person you 'arrange' for! Msschhewwww! They know who they can bully!
DeleteChim mo. Men these days are animals. Women in these situationships please find the courage to leave o.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteYou want a job and you are this rude and uncultured. You want us to translate your number to figures. I pity the company that will employ you. If you are a graduate you are supposed to have good ethics.
DeleteMbok, this one will definitely go back to her husband,once I don't have a job enters d story.
ReplyDeleteNo advice? 😔
DeleteEssokay
Many people that called themselves pastors need to go for deliverance. So many angers have been losen by the devil to torment homes.
ReplyDeleteMadam, i am sure the tone you used in talking to him made him react like that. The best you would have done was to keep quiet and say ok, let me look for another one but know you made him realise that he is not a MAN.
nobody should come and talk nonsense to me. If you keep quiet, the man go kill you? Women learn to briddle your tongues.
Who no go, no know. Pray you do not end up with a maniac
DeleteExactly , u know ur husband is abusive nd u were arguing with him concerning clothes the kids wants to wear, even if u bought it. I know u didn't sound gentle wen u were talking to him nd yes I know it dsnt give him d right to hit u even if u screamed at him while talking but wen u know ur husband is abusive , u either leave or learn how to manage him
DeleteGod will save our women from useless men that will not respect themselves.
ReplyDeleteMadam, why didn't you quitely change d torn out clothes? Even ur horseband want d best for his kids?
ReplyDeleteMust you run ur mouth? Must u match him words for words?
If you and ur horseband are not living peacefully, why are you gbenshing him and bringing innocent children into a troubled home?
Mehn...i want to believe you had learning abilities as a kid..this is getting out of hand. What sort of a woman wrapper are you?
DeleteShut that gutter, you retarded imp. Haven't you heard that a man that cannot provide for his family is worse than an infidel? How are you supposed to treat an infidel?
DeleteYou don't have money for a proper house, yet you reject thatched mud house, NONSENSE!
Such a man deserves to sleep outside without food until he gets up and starts looking for Job.
#clicksgun
Delete#gbosa
James just shot me.
James d retard. U neva make sense.
DeleteI think James' controversial comments are intentional just to annoy BVs' and y'all keep falling for it...lol
DeleteKids from broken homes will rise giving rise to so so many dysfunctional kids that will continue d cycle of home breaking.
ReplyDeleteTrue!..
DeleteThat is why people should not give birth anyhow..but no! Babymama is the new trend now!
DeleteAnd that exactly is one of the reasons there are domestic violences everywhere today, divorces and all sorts.There is no solid foundation anywhere again and the circle of dysfunctional homes keep going round and enlarging at the same time.
DeleteAs a single, dating and getting to know one another is not enough.Real background checking (family,spiritual, etc..) should be on our "to do list" when you are in a relationship, coupled with serious prayers,deliverance, discerning spirit and God's will going.In into a lifetime journey with someone without all these checkups....hmmmm
Those already in this situation, we pray for God's hands upon their lives.All these domestic violences here and there, make me fear for the future (the circle keeps getting bigger, except we gò through the right path, God.
Not true,there was sum1 who left a comment here saying she uses his background being from a broken home to blackmail her hubby sumtimes. Som ppl from broken homes make very good spouses and go on to hv long lasting marriages. It just depends on how d parents train dem. Bcos of statements like dis,is d reason why some women wld end up dying in deir abusive spouses house so dt ppl won't say deir children are from broken homes. Some wld even allow d husband to abuse d children physically or sexually so dt ppl won't say she has a failed marriage or she is a single mother.
DeleteHmmm na wa o, when men start relegating the God giving responsibility, everything in that marriage 'll go south.
ReplyDeleteThis is absolutely the truth.
DeleteHmmmmm, not again. May help locate you. Amen.
ReplyDeleteI'll call u n Drop ur soon to be ex husband details bikonu. I'll show u he's not a woman beater by the time I show him support.
ReplyDeleteSee this smelly desperado!...
DeleteLocal ashewo!,..
I just had to go and look at the anonymous post again, 711 comments.
ReplyDelete711 comments of licking, licking, totoh matters, prick matters. cheating matters.
The devil is really working 25 hours in the lives of our women. May God help 85% of you that allowed licking, licking come your way.
Majority need deliverance from licking, licking. Am sure spirit husbands don plenty for una cases and will be licking you people up and down. May God help you all AMEN
Hahahahah. ..this cracked me up
DeleteYet..they are the ones judging people on this blog. Majority of married women are fucking outside their homes..single ladies are nothing to write home about. Tufia!
DeleteKwakwakwakwa!...
DeleteI believe those married cheating stories were told by some mischieve makers. It was too much on that post. And the stories were the same. Same I cheat cos of this or that..
DeleteI know some married women cheat but some mischievous people took it upon themselves that day to make it look worse..
Well that's my opinion..
And for you married women cheating and been encouraged on this blog, keep it up. When you are caught you would be sent out of your home without any thing.. A man cheats and you don't leave him. You cheat and he sends you out. Why not leave if you aren't happy so you can do all you like..
Tuueeeeh
Love me jeje I don't particularly like ur comments but in dis case u r so right. @ some pt,I got tired. Is sex d only thing we are blessed with in Nigeria. Masturbation,pornography everything in that post was sexual. How won't we b d 2nd In Hiv tins when ppl are having sex indiscremately as if it's going out of fashion.
DeleteHahaha no be small something.
DeleteLol..
DeleteI hv discovered dat it is usually women dat don't no when to shut up. are usually d ones dat suffer beatings from dia horsebands
ReplyDeleteI'm with you 100%. Don't mind those insulting you for saying the truth.
DeleteHmmmmmmn.
ReplyDeleteChei! He pounced on you in front of your elder sister? And she was standing there staring at him? Chei! I know that no man will try that with my younger sis in front of my elder sis. She'll so pounce on him ehn, even if she can't, she'll organise boys to do the bumdigidy for her. The hell!
ReplyDeleteWho are you? You think say this one na ashewo business where una dey break bottle & fight up & down like dogs? Abegiii... Take back seat, dem go fuck & beat you on top & nothing go happen
DeletePoster, I'm sorry about your ordeal, but some people might take time out of their busy lives to advice you, even go as far as organising free counsel for you, only for you to develop cold feet along the line.
ReplyDeleteCause your 'pastor' husband will involve family, friends and the community, and they'll all tell you that marriage is for better, for worse, and then you decide to stay "because of the kids".
You'll be fine.
Do what your heart tells you to.
I've got no advice, don't like dabbling in people's marital ish.
All the best!
True talk
DeleteGbam!!!!!
DeleteWish I can help, but also job hunting, please someone with a job to offer her...
ReplyDeleteBut madam I want to ask, did u marry your husband without a job? Or he just suddenly got lazy???
Wow, how do women cope with a broke and abusive husband? It is well with you, God is your strength.
ReplyDeleteWomen talk less. It is not everything you react. If you are not happy go back to your parents house instead of talking too much and disrespecting the man especially when he is not doing as well as you feel he should. No man no matter what will tolerate being disrespected especially in the presence of 'your elder sister'.
ReplyDeleteI am also a woman.
Thank you for this reasonable piece.
Deleteabeg wch go back to ur parents house,walk away from d scene fine,but pack ur load and leave ur matrimonial home isn't right @ all. Infact in my opinion d beginning of d end of any marriage is d day 3rd party enters,I hv had very serious quarrel with my husband in my inlaws house, but I never opened my mouth and neither did my husband tell any of his relations what happened btw us. Dey asked and i said nothing. Nobody shld settle quarrel btw u and ur spouse. That is a mighty rule I wld encourage most couples to abide with.
DeleteHmmmm.
ReplyDeleteLord 've mercy, save us from dis lion's.
Stella is she ready to leave? That's the most important question here, not when family members start begging and wanting peace, she would want to go back, if you wouldn't leave your husband that abuses you daily please don't cry out.
ReplyDeleteAlso, some women need to learn how to atleast respect their men, you would hear their stories and want to pity them, but live with them under same roof and you pity the men, I'm not saying its good a man results into beating to tame his uncouth wife, but some women are something else, the way they talk to a man, you would pity his existence, because your husband doesn't have a job now, it's not enough reason to talk down at him, disrespecting him, men also learn to walk away no matter how angry you are, don't lay your hands on her, walk away, so you would have time to think straight so you don't kill someone's daughter.
She is not ready to leave i swear down ,you are married to a lazy man ,takes care of yourself and children and you call that marriage ,any way in Nigeria the fear of society is the beginning of wisdom ,i must be a mrs ,i must be somebody s wife ,yet smilling and suffering .God continue to bless my dh
DeleteSo on point
DeleteDomestic violence is becoming very rampant.
ReplyDeleteNawaooo...one start suspecting her partner now.
Just like aristo has become the order of the day
DeleteALL I needd is a job!when I do hahahahahhhaha,my husband wiill know that I am indeed a woman.God u who gave ur only son for me,pls bless me with a good well paying job and I vow to sponsor 6 kids primary education whose mothers are being domestically abused.amen
ReplyDeleteStory
DeleteGod of mercy answer her.
ReplyDeletePastor?
ReplyDeleteThis one na endtime pastor and horseband o. Once any man starts with "the spirit led me to you"...my dear, I flee in a million ways, even Pharoah can't hold me back.
Sorry, the Lord is your strength.
Evil man, madam help will locate u amen.
ReplyDeleteSome numbers were posted here recently for domestic violence issues. Check it up and call them. They said they also provide shelter until you are ready to stand up on your feet. That's the best thing you should do.
ReplyDeleteCall them up and go to them with your kids that assuming you are really ready to leave your husband and kids.. Most of you end up going back for reasons I can't comprehend.. And don't give me the money story.. I helped a victim ones, even paid a years rent for her and gave her little money to start a business. After 5 months she called me to say she was going back to her man. This was someone who left her husband almost dead. She left with her child and there was no reason going back
May God give you wisdom to rake the right step..
And we shall know the TRUTH and IT shall set us free
DeleteWe are not , cannot be wiser than GOD
As many as are led by the SPIRIT of GOD are the sons of GOD.
Delete....by their fruits you shall know them.
I think in the end time going forward Deliverance prayers/programme before marriage for couples is highly recommended.
The soul ties from all seal relations, curses, abortions, wickedness in high places in fathers and mothers houses.
Evil covenants, abuse of whatever kind, evil loads and baggage, curses etc need to be destroyed
The family altar then should be kept burning
If she is really ready???? As I am here I don't take most of dese dv cases to heart, infact I won't lie and I hope Stella post my comment. I see some of dem turning dis into a scam thing. Ppl wld den send dem money. Pls assist domestic violence victims by giving dem agencies and NGOs dt wld assist dem. If u must gv dem money send dem recharge cards to call d no.s
DeleteI need 2 go back cos of my kids if only I had dem wit me i won't hv gone bk.cos am happy alone bt nt been wit dem & another woman taking care of dem is killing me.
DeleteBut madam it seems you guys hv not been married for a long time.
ReplyDeleteDidn't u no dat he is a poor and lazy man before marrying him?
Rich, hard working and disciplined men like me don finish for the country?
Why involve innocent children in dis una show of shame?
Pls send a message on twitter to Jimi Disu. I listened to him on radio @ classic FM yesterday. Lagos state has an agency that can help. I don't have the details. All the best dear
ReplyDeleteI still insist that poverty and frustration, is the root of domestic violence. The only thing rich men wives cry is cheating, or side chicks/baby mama. Madam kpele. since your horseband is a pastor, why not report him to the church.
ReplyDeleteWiden your knowledge.
DeleteWho rattled the cage of this one? Biko go & face your WAEC & NECO & like Anonymous 11:41 said...widen your knowledge. Because you dey rub N100 lipstick, you think you have arrived, eh?
DeleteNope! Not true! Poverty might be one of the driving forces, but DV is not exclusive to the poor. Trust me, only if you knew what goes on behind the walls of the so-called wealthy.
DeleteA Pastor beat you and you couldn't open his skull with a bottle? And leave an exhibit so the congregation will ask questions? Story.
ReplyDeleteWoman speak the truth.
Stop instigating violence in the home.. People are reading and this your advice can lead to loss of lives when there's a domestic violence issue in their homes
DeleteNne its well.
ReplyDeleteI wil not say i understand cos i dont.I don't get what it is that makes a husband do these.
Neglect Ur wife and ur kids.and maltreat them.your own kids???
The Lord is ur strength.
Sending u warm hugs dear.
#Shudders.
Madam not trying to blame you, but you knew before you married this man that he is a pastor making little to nothing. What sort of man doesn't cater for his family for Christ sake. I can't deal mehnnn.
ReplyDeleteMy 1st advice, tie your legs very tight. You have a boy and a girl, under no circumstance shld you bring another child into this marriage even if you get a new job. Pls stop at those two, atleast you will just be paying 2school fees, feeding and clothing instead of 3,4 kids.
It is your choice if you want to remain in this marriage, I can't give that advice, ur family shld be d one doing that.
My only advice is for you to keep safe while being there to stay away from d man as much as u can. If he is in d room, go to parlour. If he is in parlour take ur kids to compound to play, take a walk, do family visits, avoid arguments with him as much as u can.
I hope a good job comes ur way soon, or small funds to start a small biz.
My no1 advice is to go on birth control/family planning. Do not bring in anymore kids into this marriage till you can either fix the marriage, or you leave. It is easier to house a woman with 2kids than a battalion. That's my advice.
Good luck
@bedsþs,always giving stupid advice. Yeye woman
Delete@bed&roses, you are very correct.
DeleteJames u didn't av to go anony to insult her. Coward
DeleteAnon17:51 Abegi it is not me oooh.Please don't spoil my hard earned reputation.
DeleteThe person I will go anonymous against for this world,they never born am.
But some women can run their mouth like tap water and has no respect for their man. Respect is a reciprocal. Men and women should learn to respect each other. If u are a talkative learn to briddle your tongue cos men are the head of the family and it can NEVER be the other way round. Two captain can never be in one ship. If u re tired of ur home, go somewhere and cool off and always pray for ur home rather than challenging the man or insulting him and even Pointing fingers at his face. Know when to talk and when to keep shut. Some women are the real architect of their own misfortunes. Cos most of them saw the signs and still want to die there. Respecting ur man doesnt mean u are serving or worshiping him.
ReplyDeleteIf u can do anything humanly possible to keep ur job so why cant we men and women do so and keep our homes so far as domestic voilence is nt included Every day divorce, divorce divorce and it is now becoming the order of the day. Tufiakwa
That man no try at all. Many women are enjoying their home and not every one is in an abusive relationship. Know what u want in life, work towards it, know the lord u serve and serve him in truth and in spirit, and never settle for less and tell me why u wont enjoy ur home.
Some women no get manner of approach and most of them end up bringing out the devil in their man.
find out ur mans weakness and u will see how u will get his heart in ur palms without stressing ur self. #speaking from experience
I am not in support of what the man did but some womens mouth can kill and can push a man to do what he never imagined doing in his life. Women shld learn to briddle their tongue and men should learn to take a walk. Women never finish for this world. Any woman that is giving u headache, just take her back to her parents peacefully instead of killing her. There re many responsible girls out there so dnt end ur life by killing a woman all because of ur anger, learn to control it. As for u poster i would have loved to hear from ur husband too but pls talk a walk for now and take good care of that kids. God bless.
I am nt supporting domestic voilence but sometimes women can push a man to the wall with their tongue but men pls never hit her or kill her, make sure u re up and doing in ur duties as a man in the home and if she is not giving u peace of mind, take her back to her parents and pray for her. Marriage is nt a do or die affair. Period.
Gbam.
DeleteOne bottle of farm fresh for you.
Some women their mouth can raise the dead.. My sister in law neighbour's is one of such.. If this woman starts insulting her husband, you will be shocked. I was more than shocked that day. And to think the man works o, provides for the family and she does nothing at all. He has giving her money for business and she threw party with it. Gotten her a job and she was fired because of her attitude.. My sister in law said she wonders why the man still keeps her because he doesn't beat her but the day he will beat her she is very sure no one will come and hold him as her own is too much
DeleteWith this ur many epistle u repeated d same point more than 10 times. U hav said women shld learn to bridle deir tongues and men shld learn to walk away. And if d rlnship isn't working seperate abi. This is what I call an unnecessary epistle. Yes pt. taken and even u sef u hv a very sharp mouth if I am to follow ur comments on dis blog. Sha preach what u practice.
DeleteIf this man had respected God,himself and his marriage,his wife wouldn't be the breadwinner and would never have a cause to disrespect him.a man's headship comes with roles.if he doesn't play that role in marriage,mbok how is he still the head?or does possession of a penis grant him automatic respect?it is thinking this way that would justify a man sitting at home doing nothing and expecting his wife to do it all and yet accord him respect.this is what leads to resentment and hatred.you can't have your cake and eat it.don't you know the attractiveness of a man is his willingness and ability to provide?that is what all female species are attracted to.there is no way a woman would disrespect a man who plays his role to perfection.Even pregnant and breastfeeding,she would slay demons for him.
DeleteOginidi k'ana ako
Anon 11.47. Na her type go send chronicles and trust women on this blog they will pounce on the man. Thats the more reason why i dnt give advice on chronicles because 40percent of the stories are twisted to favor them full of lies.
DeleteWomen shld control their tongue in their different marriages. Find out ur mans weakness and u will enjoy ur home unless if the man is irresponsible to the core then na Gods intervention
Karmaisabitch. Eziokwu ka ikwuru. Aka nri kwoo aka ekpe, aka ekpe akwoo aka nri. U re right too.
@karmaisabitch Gbam!!!!!!! B encouraging lazy men. Thank God for new age mothers that are training deir kids equally,with nothing like boys don't wash plate or cook.
DeleteRespect is a reciprocal? Kwakwakwa. Look sexiest admit it you didn't finish secondary school. Ph. D student my flat ass.
DeleteRespect is "A" reciprocal??? Jehova God! My Great grand mothers English inside my village.
DeleteA 20th century woman that claim to be educated. Just WOW! This is a reflection of the Nigerian educational system. ...or maybe you just used open eye ssabi english but claim to have been educated. This is pure violence against english language.
Back to the point, the said man is a pastor. What would Jesus christ do in his position? How many people did Jesus kill for abusing him? What kind of counselling will he give to intending couples or the ones already battering their wives?
There is absolutely no justification for battery! If you cannot express yourself verbally then walk away. If women should start beating men up for All the annoying things they do, by now no man will be alive.
SOme Pastors can beat for Africa, I pity their wives. Any pastor that stays at home and the wife works, fear him.
ReplyDeleteYou sound very authoritative...are speaking from experience as a wife or daughter of a pastor that BEATS?
DeleteDat was how I was dating one stupid guy 6 years ago. Dis idiot would beat mi black and blue to d extent dat I no longer have front hair till date. Beat me till I bleed from my ear n nose. He keep me telling mi "I would kill u n bury u in my backyard, nobody would know" life! Even after getting me pregnant (may God forgive me) he forced mi to do DnC after d operation, dat same day with my bleeding n stomach pain, dis idiot still beat me. Gosh! Can't believe I went tru all dis. Upon all dis he even use to cheat on me rite under my nose. There was a day he beat me, I fainted n was bleeding frm my ear, dis idiot locked d door left me in d house alone n went to club. Only for him to come in d morning to start begging me.. God knows I hv never done anything to deserve his beating cos I was very careful n scared wen ever we are together. If a man calls mi on d fone he's conclusion is "he is ur boyfriend" if a woman calls " u are a lesbian" frnds started avoiding me becos he is always fighting them even on d main road. Den I was blinded by love, I thank God am a free woman now... ladies SAY NO TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. Stella I would have posted dis to u directly but am so ashamed.
ReplyDeleteYou must be ugly to have remain there
DeleteFat, Ugly, Black & Uncomfortable (FUBU)
DeleteCos you are a foolish girl,.People re talking of horsebank you na boi boi...
DeleteYou are still foolish. Gerrarahia mehn...rubbish! Why did you leave? Mumu like you
DeleteYou know the problem? After all our advice & offers of solutions most of you will still go back for yeye reasons best known to you.
ReplyDeleteIf you stay in Lagos & you are determined to get help, call 08137960048 or send an e-mail to info@dsvrtlagos.org / @dsvrt . It the Lagos state hotline for issues like yours.
Secondly, match down to the church he's a pastor & report this to them; if it's a one man church & he's the main pastor, report him to the church committee.
That your elder sis na something else oh. I know for a fact that no man born of a woman will be using me as a punching bag (in their presence or absence ) & not pay dearly for it. Imagine him beating you up I'm front of her & what did she do? Mine will break a bottle on his head.
It's only cowards that beat their wives,he should go try his punching skills on a solider naa msheww! Taking his frustrations & hunger out on you instead of facing his challenges as a man.
Women shut your mouth when your husband is talking
DeleteClose your rotten mouth, your sister won't do shishi...in fact he go beat am join. She no go find husband na to dey go other people house dey form agboro!
DeleteJames you are so right. The husband will always beat his wife when she talks back that is why when husbands beat their wives their wives should also arrange or pay for their husbands to get a proper beat down from thugs or male family members so that the marriage will be equal. When the husbands too get a taste of their medicine they wont lay a finger on their wives again.
ReplyDeleteMadam I am sorry to say but you don't know how to talk, you seem like someone with a bad mouth.
ReplyDeleteYou knew this man doesn't have job, I am sure dat is how he was playing ludo in d morning when you were courting, but bcos u want to marry by force by fire, you married him.
It is wrong that he beat you, but while your own weapon is your mouth. His own weapon is his fist.
You know jobless men are always angry. You need to learn to wither ur tongue. You don't need to remind him every minute, I bout dis clothes, I bout dis food, I bout feul. Do u think he doesn't know dat.
U wanted to marry na, and uv married.
I don't understand dis acct number you are sharing. Abeg we all as family ppl get our own problems. Even with me and my husband working, we are just getting by. Economy is too hard. 1kobo I no fit spare, na the same toto me and you carry come this world.
Lol no be small toto.
DeleteMen are cowards that's why they beat their wives at home. Why don't they beat or punch their female bosses at work?? don't their female bosses talk to them anyhow at work? why don't they beat them up. They know how to control themselves with their female bosses but they can't control themselves with their wives. When your husband hits you the first time and you break the windscreen of his car or you flush his phone down the toilet and rip up all his clothes or burn his clothes, he won't try you a second time.
ReplyDeleteShe won die be that....keep giving them liver. I would kill that woman that breaks my windscreen.
DeleteI bet you're in your late 30s, trapped in the mindset of a 13 year old & serially SINGLE...that's why you talk like a child. When your male boss sends you to buy recharge card, why don't you insult him & throw the money to his face (that's even if you have a job). Social media gladiators...at night you'll be hugging pillow like lizard wey dey climb wall & be forming Robo Cop on SDK
DeleteMadam poster. If your husband thought the clothes looked worn out, why did you not allow him change them? The fact that he came to see what his kids were going to wear to Church shows that he has an atom of concern in him. I'm sure you spoke to him in a harsh tone, let him down in front of your sister, called him names and reminded him that he does not contribute a dime to the upkeep of the home, hence he hit you. Woman, I am sure you disrespect and look down on your husband because he is not living up to your expectation. Your type will not even cook well for her husband just because he is poor. Check yourself ma'am. Women tend to disrespect and talk down on their husbands once the man is unable to care enough for the home. If she's the breadwinner, then, the man will never have peace. Men suffer a lot of abuse from women, but they endure it. I'm also a woman for your information and I'm speaking from experience. Women will always run their mouths and judge a matter in a way that paints them as good and the man as bad and lazy. Seeking sympathy and an affirmation for divorce. Im sure your husband will be better off without you. The likes of this woman are in my family so i know her type. Pastors wife! You cannot pray to God for counsel, rather you come on SDK for counsel. I'm not coming back here to read comments, so, don't waste ur mb cursing me for this if you don't like the truth.
ReplyDeleteYou are right madam
DeleteI reckon with the prayer & not SDK but to speak authoritatively like you cohabitat with them is a NO! You don't know jack, your comments are based on assumptions and you can't throw her under the bus like that
DeleteIt is well with u Doris,I pray u get help.
ReplyDeleteI don't support domestic violence but I won't advise on it either. My reasons are: You guys always return back to the men and you will later come back to say it was your fault after stressing us and making us believe the man was at fault the whole time.
ReplyDeleteAbeg make I mind my business.
Amen to you! Today chronicles from hell tomorrow chronicles from cupid...abegiii
DeleteWhy would a lazy man who doesn't have a job or provides for his family make demands. Instead of making demands he should use that energy in getting a job. A man does not provide for his family yet he wants the highest respect and he wants his wife to kiss his ass 24/7.
ReplyDeleteI am not saying because a man does not have a job or provides for his family his wife should not respect him, we all know if the wife does not love him she would not have married in the first place him knowing he does not have money, but some men are very overbearing, they don't contribute financially to the household but they want to eat the best food and the biggest meat in the house, some of them even take the little money their wives have to go drinking or to chase women outside and then they want their wives to respect them. Men are very selfish and have no shame at all.
In this case the pastor husband does not buy clothes for his children but he wants them to wear the best clothes to Church to give the wrong impression to people that he is taking care of his family. The only way people will know that he did not buy those clothes is if the wife says it but people will assume the husband bought the clothes just by seeing how well dressed the children are.
That is Nigerian society for you. The man wants to keep up appearances at the expense of his wife. Typical TBillz and Tiwa scenario.
He should not have laid a finger on you, but why did you say all that In the presence of your sister. Do not provoke your man!
ReplyDeleteSympathies on your horrific experience & may God guide & guard you. Let the 3rd person in your marriage be GOD & GOD ONLY!!! If you've made up your mind to leave the abuse (keyword is IF), then quietly & privately seek her NOT on social media & involving Tom, Dick & Harry in your affairs. Same people singing hossana today will sing crucify her tomorrow. Your marriage is YOUR business solely!
ReplyDeleteDomestic violence of any form shouldn't be condoned by either party but let's analyse this controversial point. Just because a man has no right to lay a finger on his wife doesn't give the wife a get-out-of-jail free card to act as she pleases. Don't go poking a hornet's nest because all hell will be let loose.
ReplyDeleteLadies, you must apply wisdom. Don't go about insulting or aggravating your hubby whom you already know lacks self control, then hide under the guise of a victim of domestic violence. If we don't address this point, most wives with bad characters will take advantage of the sensitivity of domestic violence and keep misbehaving with impunity.
True, a man is supposed to be disciplined enough to comport himself and walkout once he's being provoked but it is easier said than done. How many times do we succumb to certain temptations that so easily beset us? How many times have you promised not to gossip but you find yourself doing it? How many times have you promised to finish reading your Bible within a year but you realise you're still marking time in the book of Exodus in the month of September? How many times have you promised not to sleep with a guy you know is just using you yet you buckle under the pressure of lust? You see? Discipline is not as easy as you imagine. The same resolve it takes to overcome temptations is the same mental resolution it takes a man not to hit his wife.
This isn't an excuse but the fact remains that only few human beings have mastered the art of self-control. Dear poster, you already know your hubby is the abusive type so if you want peace at home you must apply wisdom or pack out and be separated for your safety. You must be a woman of wisdom if you want your marriage to work. I know you are more or less the breadwinner for now and him wanting to change the clothes selection he didn't pay for can be extremely aggravating but you should have stood aside and allow him fish for the change of clothes. Yes, my darling, that isn't fair but in marriage each partner has to allow certain things slide, especially the wife. There's no equality in marriage, a wife is always under her husband's authority. That is why you must marry a man who loves you enough to put you and your needs first.
Do all you can to avoid irritating an already frustrated and broke man. He is your hubby and you agreed to be his wife. Unless in cases of mental illness or spiritual interference, most cases of domestic violence can be avoided. No man should hit his wife and wives should learn to study the mood their husbands are in before making certain utterances or behave in a in certain manner. If you don't want to walk on eggshells in your marriage then, please, marry a man who loves and respects you and has the fear of God in him.
Well said @Ronaldo.
DeleteU are d only intelligent person on dis blog after me.
*Ronalda
DeleteShe will act as she please, if you are not gonna take it then divorce her. No man has any right to raise a finger on anyone.
DeleteWill this same man not swallow any form of insult from a WWF champion? Why will he now start beating his wife if he can take nonsense form his female boss or Hulk hogan? Rubbish.
Did he provide for his family or show seriousness in looking for work? Yet he complains at what another person has toiled to purchase. Let him do everything he is supposed to do as a man of the house then we can come back and argue here.
If he bought excessive beautiful clothes for his children, will this argument even come up? Will there even be room for old clothes in the house?
It's easy for you to defend violent abusive men coz it hasn't happened to you. I pray it happens to you so your eyes will open.
DeleteThen these your long epistles will change to Chronicles.
Help me ask this epistle writing ITK. Nonsense.
DeleteAnon 11.39, the faceless bigot that keeps trailing her witchy witchy mother on dis blog and not me.
ReplyDeletePls face your frustrated life, if you don't have anything going for you. Pls go and learn a language.
Anuofia
But husbands do that all the time and wives put up with it like they put up with a lot of things in marriage. Men are the ones that can't take what they dish out and can't control their temper when they are told the truth and put in their place @ anon 18:39
ReplyDeleteAnon 13:07 kill her and you will lavish in prison, you will have enough time there to realize that a windscreen is not as important as a human life. You should be ashamed of your comment you woman batterer and spineless man.
ReplyDeleteNa wa o!!! My family members' view on DV is very myopic. They believe a man should beat a woman bcos he was provoked. My mum of all people believe that a woman should not complain when she is the one funding all the bills in the house. My brother believes that a man should beat a woman bcos he is provoked. Na wetin my ears hear this morning oo!! Stella pls post my comment. this is my first time here
ReplyDeleteIf the husband wants better things for his kids then he should provide better things for his kids it's not rocket science boy.
ReplyDeleteWhat do they think a woman should do when she is provoked @ anon10:46 it would be interesting to know.
ReplyDeleteAnon. 11:18, they said a woman when provoked should keep quiet for peace to reign, that's it's when a woman runs her mouth that a man gets provoked to hit her. This ish caused a very hot argument this morning in my house. They even said they would support my husband whenever he hits me bcos my mouth is sharp. imagine oo!!!
ReplyDeleteWell... they said a woman provoked should keep her mouth shut. That even if she is the one feeding her family, she should never complain. this thing caused a very hot argument today oo. They even went as far as saying they will support my husband if he decides to lay my hands on me....
ReplyDelete