Chronicles Of Blog Visitor Narratives..

Na wa!

NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE

RELATIONSHIPS THAT HAVE NO DEFINITION OR DIRECTION

Hello Stella please hide my IDEntity. Bvs I need your advice, you r also allowed to cuss.

   Ok, I just turned 29, with a good job, and 2men in my life. I can't comfortably say I'm in a r/ship with them cos ... Let me call them man A and man B.

    Man A is in a different country,we speak everyday but yet we talk about nothing. He has never said he loves me, makes no effort to come visit me, says stuff like "we don't connect becos we are worlds apart, doesn't really go the extra mile to make me happy. the other time his friend saw him with another lady in a compromising state and told me, I called him to confront him, all he said was that I should be patient and trust him and that with time I'd understand. 

My mind tells me the lady is probably his wife for his papers or so (I might be wrong. I just don't know). The problem is that I love him so bad.

   Man B is in the same city with me, we are more like friends, he has never invited me to his home, doesn't let me near his friends. We are more or less in a hide and seek r/ship. He claims he loves me but when I snooped his phone, I found out he was telling his friend that he is in no r/ship. To cut story short,I think I only let him into my life to fill the vacuum man A created. 

Oh let me add, man B is a team no sex b4 marriage guy.

   Herez my dilemma, is it that I don't know how to keep a guy or make him interested? Please if yes, give me tips .

2: bvs what do you guys honestly suggest I do to both men? Especially man A.

 I just want to have a meaningful relationship.  Thanks all

Babe to be honest with you,I think you are dating yourself where both men are concerned!...Just forget about them abeg and save yourself the heart break.

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NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO

MARRIAGE TORN APART BY SMOKING PARTNER

Hello Stella, thanks for giving us this medium of sharing our problems. I dont know where it fits but i need blog visitors advice on what to do. My husband  introduce me to this blog some years back and will be glad if he reads this too. 

          I have been married for two years plus but dated my hubby for eight years ,we do have our normal fights and argument but all through the courtship period i have never seen my husband smoking but i started noticing this about some months after our wedding.

 Anytime i am not around he will smoke and spray air freshener and by the time i come back the smell would have gone but the day i caught him i asked and he said it is just jedi that he smokes.  I was angry with him and he promised to stop it.  

          

 Stella I hate smoking no be small, i dont know why but i dont feel comfortable anywhere they smoke and i see people that smoke as something else.  My husband started doing it without care of how i feel, i fought,  begged and let him understand i dont like this thing he has been doing and he said i should give him sometime. 

He later told me i will have to choose one since he dosent cheat and have never done anything serious to break my heart i should know that there is no perfect husband and i have to bear with him that he it him cheer up. 

         I decided to leave him alone but when he saw that i didn't talk mehnnnn he will smoke before going to work early in the morning,  when i come back before him i will still percieve the smell of the one he did when he came back and when we want to sleep he will still smoke. Stella if i had caught him just three times during the courtship period God knows i would have run i really hate it, this had put a strain in our sexual life i am very sensitive to smell and most times i feel like leaving the room for him at night it has been over a year that we have had a passionate kiss. 

The smell pisses me of and used to kill my urge anytime we are set to make love,  most times that we make love it is because he insists.He dosent turn me on again and what i want for our sexual life i have not been getting it. 

Last two weeks that we were home for the public holiday my hubby smoke like six times that day just because i have decided not to talk ,i guess he wants me to do my worse. i was forced to talk and i disrespected him, i told him he is a coward for hiding it from me because he knows i would have left him and he repeated it the following morning and evening.

I have not been talking to him since then (over a week now) and he has not been talking to me either. 

            I feel he is disrespecting me and dislike him for it and am not having the intention of reporting him to anybody cause we don't involve third party in our issue but he is forcing my hand and i dont know if am being selfish or taking it too far but am having this feelings that if we are not careful this issue might gradually turn our relationship to something else.

 Day by day he is getting more addicted to the thing and before he will start taking cannabis which am sure will not be able to cope with has been a barrier in our marriage because there has not been any chemistry or sparkle in our marriage. 

Blog visitors please has anyone been in my shoes before how do you handle it and Stella i need your sincere advice please.

        

First of all,why does he smoke inside the house?that is so wrong.If he insists on smoking let him do it outside.I can imagine how horrible your house and the items therein smells..Jeeeez!

Your husband is a grown ass man and he should bear the consequences of what he does since he has shown you that you cannot control him then let him be...I cannot believe that you didnt smell anything whilst you dated him or perhaps you were too carried away cos such things dont hide themselves.

I dont know about bringing in third party but malice inside a matrimonial home is a NO NO for me.Why dont you pray about it?since the battle has passed you and threatening to kill the Joy in your home,take it to God's feet.

Please be careful of whatever advice you get and from whom...this is a small issue but it is very delicate.

If your husband is reading this then oga please if you must smoke outside of the house and stop doing it indoors...your whole body must really stink and your clothes?yikeeesss.Improve on your hygiene abeg you!

let the others advise you,I have said my bit.