Hmmm...
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
EDO/ANAMBRA MARRIAGE??
Hi Stella,
Thanks for this wonderful platform. Please I need constructive and honest advice from my fellow BVs.
I'm a young lady from Edo state, sometime last year I met a young man, a wonderful man and we started dating, things were going so well and along the line he started talking marriage, he actually asked me to marry him!
He met some of my family members (not my parents) I'd already met his mum and siblings. Unfortunately when he told his family about his intention to come see my people officially in december they all agreed except his mum(dad is late) who was strongly against it because of tribal difference(he's from Anambra).
To cut the story short, a lot of issues came up, we kept going back and forth and it was really stressing me, I had to to end things for my peace of mind.
Because of that experience I decided to stay off igbo men especially Anambra men but since this year I have only had Anambra men ask me out, more than 10 (I'm not exaggerating) I always tell them off firmly but 2 has been persistent, I have spoken all the english I know but they won't just stop and I'm beginning to like one of them.
He's really seem serious, his actions match his words but I'm so scared of making the same mistake twice. I have heard so many stories about Anambra people, how they only marry themselves etc. Igbo BVs please advice me let me know if I'm sleeping on a bicycle.
Stella pls hide my email address
Thanks
Dunno anything bout this...
...........................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
VIRGIN AT A CROSS ROAD
Stella dear, I just love your blog. You doing so well. I beg to remain anonymous. I'm 26years, extremely beautiful, and haven't been able to keep a meaningful relationship. All d men I have met were just interested in sex which I haven't had before.
I used to be a strong believer of sex after marriage but right now I don't think I'm. I'm really discouraged and don't think I can continue like this as my older ones are all married and I need to start up my own family too..
I have 2 guys on my neck but sex issue is making the relationship so awkward as it has been with other guys. Then my friends keep telling me the need for me to enjoy sex b4 marriage. I'm @ a cross road and tired. Should I give up and see if there'll be positive changes.
Hmmmm....sex is over rated honey!
Whether you start now or later,if you end up with the wrong man,you will only have regrets,JUST DO IT GOD'S WAY MY DEAR!
Chronicles
ReplyDeleteWassup with the poster that has a ghost bf, have you borrowed him your body? Has he revenged? Has he returned your body back? Abeg. update us na.......
DeleteIf u like loose your Virginity
DeleteNa my "Toto"?
Mtchew
@Galore
1. You are sleeping on top of a bicycle.
Delete2. Do as Stella says.
Poster 1, before you agree date an anambra man, tell him to introduce you to his mother first and watch her reaction, once she accept you u r good to go,''just to avoid my mama say''
DeleteIf u re sleeping on a bicycle u will soon know as dat kaun sleep dey hard
DeleteWhy not wait for d one who will value u? Don't be in a hurry to give d food for d king to a dog
That ur friend dey find mate, ignore her advise
Poster 1. It's not a tribal thing it's a family thing. My dad is an anambra and my mum edo. So no need to run away , just ask the guy u like if he has any issues with ur tribe . Don't let that hinder u from ur Mr right
DeletePlease can someone help out with the link to the ghost boyfriend..Am surprised I didn't see that epistle.Thanks
DeleteWetin anambra man do my cousin ehn. They're divorced now and she's happily married again.
DeleteNow to my advice poster 1, meet the guys parent first. It might work with this one. Don't loose hope in anambra men.
DeletePoster 1: Anambra people are Sooooo like that. I'm Ibo, so I know what I'm talking about. Just take off. Their mum is always on their matter.
DeleteStay away from Anambra men. He won't say anything now until after wasting 6yrs of your life. He'll then come up with my mummy say, my daddy say. I don't even tell them my name not to talk of dating them. Very tribalistic people
DeleteNot just people that are not from Anambra. We Anambra women are treated like that too especially people from Nnewi.
DeletePoster1, the exact reason I feel dating igbo men is a waste of time.
DeletePoster2, sex is overrated, it doesn't guarantee anything.
Chro chro
ReplyDeleteThat tribal ish is a personal choice. It depends on the husband if he's man enough. I'm in your position but reverse case. There's no parent that won't prefer same tribal marriage due to fear but even those have their issues. At the end of the day, the important thing is to have a happy home.
DeleteExactly. Let's not stereotype Anambra people. I've seen a number of them who got married from other tribes. Just in December, my Anambra friend who is a girl married an Edo guy, in full pomp and pageantry.
DeleteSo, just be careful. Meet the family soon enough and see how they react to you. Good luck.
Unashamed me... I love ur name. reminds me of a Rivers' A Lineage of Grace
DeleteThey are talking about the men. The men don't marry from outside. Actually not just Anambra men it is Ibo men in genera . Majority of them don't marry from other tribes
DeleteJust negodu
ReplyDeleteP1: I am from Anambra state and I married outside Anambra. So I can authoritatively tell u it's not true dat Anambrarians marry only Anambrarians.
DeleteSuch decision by any member of one's family is purely personal and not based on general stand.
P2: Sweethrt, be patient. Sex is no guarantee d man will marry u and at d end of d day u will be left feeling needy and heart broken. U hav come dis far, wil u giv up now?
Ur man will come at d right time. That man who truly loves u for who u are and respects ur values.
I love it that u walk wd d principle of saving sex for marriage. That is God's intention. Do not compromise now. Pls don't.
When God says "don't fornicate", He is preserving your life. In it's time, He will make everything beautiful for u.
No short cuts to God's blessings dear. Waiting is difficult but be sure when it finally comes, u will b glad u did.
Keep ur pride and walk with ur head high. This is who u are so don't lose ur identity bc of some men who place no value on ur worth,who will likely use u and dump u.
The correct guy is coming. Wait for it.
~mitchelleobatu.blogspot.com~
Anambarians*😂 another word added to my dico😂
DeleteMy brother,only son from ananbra is getting married to a calabar girl ,my 2 male cousins,only boys got married to outsiders,na individual/family matter,not all anambarians oo...beta don't miss ur hubby
DeleteHello, is there anyone here who lives in the UK as an International student, and has been able to get an E-tourist Visa to Turkey?
ReplyDeleteIt should be easy enough, just go to the website and follow instructions.
DeleteYea I'm an international student in the U.k...my classmate went to turkey last month
DeleteLmao @sleeping on top bicycle
DeleteP2 loose the virginity jare...but use condom o we nor wan hear say u carry belle.
I don't live in d UK but I've gotten d Turkish e-visa. It's easy peasy. Just fill out ur deets online ( they gon ask details of ur UK visa- student visa in ur case). It's ready in like 48hrs and sent to ur email
DeleteAnon 16:50, was your classmate a Nigerian? Did he/she get an E-visa?
DeleteThe Observer, I saw on the website that I need a UK visa but they did not specify what type/class of visa. I meet every other condition.
Poster1
ReplyDeleteJust leave our Anambra men to marry us.
Poster2
You'll have sex n get tried
Tired I meant
DeleteLoool@ideato, ur head dey dere.poster 1 pls just decide on your sef. , that one didn't work out doesn't mean d oda won't.
DeletePoster 2:u have not hrd of mermaid tie leg before?oya kontiniu
ndi chronicles. Jesus fix it
ReplyDeletePoster two, since u don't believe in sex after wedding again, just open ya legs naa, or u want support? Have sex cos u want to, don't have sex cos u want marriage.
ReplyDeletePoster 2. I swear you will get heartbrokrn in the end.You hv come this far to give up already abeg.26years is not beans. You haven't met your man yet. Trust me.Don't be too desperate and end up wishing you could reverse time.And even when the time comes you will know when you are ready.There are still real men who would appreciate that gift on a wedding night.Virginity is supposed to please God obeying his word on fornication and not for any man because,you may be disappointed.Some married as virgin and treated as rag by hubby others did not marry as virgins but are treated like eggs by hubby.Shine your eyes!!
Delete😘
DeletePoster 1... since nearly all the men that comes your way are Anambra men, marry 1 and you are an Edo girl. You dont know what your edo people do.
ReplyDeletePoster 2.... kindly keep your virginity. God will bring in a man that will not trouble you on sex. Dont allow anyone to push you including your friends. Just know they are jealous and why are they not married since they gave theirs freely. Put your mind at rest and see God in action.
I'm 23 dating an Anambra guy. I'm nit ready for marriage now but i want the relationship to lead to marriage as he is a very good man but he is the first son from Nnewi. Is it possible at all?
DeleteIt is possible only if his mother accept u. To avoid story that touch.
DeleteAww my brother...nnewi peeps rocks
DeletePoster 2...sex or no sex who go stay go stay...jst be carefull as there are players every f***in where,i had sex with hubby one week after we met,he didnt leave me..
DeletePoster 2...sex or no sex who go stay go stay...jst be carefull as there are players every f***in where,i had sex with hubby one week after we met,he didnt leave me..
DeleteMadam poster 1, try. You'll only hurt and move on. I've seen an Edo guy that the mum refused yoruba ladies but today he's married to one. Try, get ready for rejection and also approval.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: sex or not, a Man that wants to stay will stay and the one that wants to leave will leave. It all depends on u. Oh! Our dear Lord is against fornication so why don't u ask Him to send a man that shares the same value and goals with u?
Mumu you were laughing when Linda was insulting me yea? Ode you think Linda sends you? She can insult anybody. Continue laughing like a she goat
DeleteKwakwakwakwakwakwa. Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
DeleteBuhahahahahahahahahaha.
Wat's my business with Linda? So I shouldn't laugh coz of what? My friend, go and get busy with your life, she-diot. If linda insults me, i'll give it back to her. An eye for an eye. Same with u moron. Relieve sense jor
*receive.
DeletePoster 2: pls wait for marriage abeg...sex is really overrated.
ReplyDeletePoster 1- hmmmh...dont use anger and chase away your true husband oooh...ur ex's mom was just being myopic.
Sex is not overrated... Stop lying
DeletePoster one: stop withholding urself.
ReplyDeletePoster Two: Be patient, everything will end up in praise.
Igbos respect their in-laws more if they are Igbos too. Take this bitter truth from an Igbo guy. Infact, Anambra people even prefer their kids marrying from Anambra state.My Igbo siblings here will deny this, but ignore them. I'm single cos I'm yet to meet the Igbo girl of my dream. My people look down on other tribes. As for Miss Virgin, if I ever meet a girl like you, that's 26 and a virgin,though I think I know who you are(you stay in "K",Abuja), I'll put a ring on your finger ASAP! A virgin is worth more than all the gold in the world. The thought of knowing NO MAN has ever crossed your wife's legs! Yes, it's me, that Igbo guy that gives you a "lift" at times. Biko, keep your virginity intact irrespective of the blackmail.
DeleteBLUNT. Chop Kisses You just said my mind....
DeleteBlunt Biko Biko Biko speak for your self & myopic tribalistic family inugo? If your family have problems respecting their in-laws irrespective of where they come from please don't taint all Igbo families with the same brush.
DeleteAm from Anambra married to a wonderful Yoruba man for 6years now likewise my elder sis whose marriage is going to 26years...2Igbo babes from the same family getting married to Yoruba men without any regrets & we are all one big happy family. My mother& my 2nd mum behave like sisters...forever calling each other& giggling over the phone so which Yeye nonsense are you yarning?
Now, one of my sisters unfortunately got married to an anuofia from the same Anambra & after 4boys had to flee her marriage after series of violent domestic issues that cost her a pregnancy. So tell me which in law do you think will be more respected by my family? The ones that carry their girls like eggs or the one that nearly snuffed the life out of their daughter?
So your opinion is flawed Mr man. Respect & holding in high esteem can only happen if the person is worthy of it irrespective of where he/she comes from.
Poster 1: On this blog several times I have heard them say Anambra men don't marry outside their place especially Nnewi, Awka and sometimes Onitsha( I don't understand the mentality). So, I guess that is why his mum will not agree.Plus, the general mentality about Edo people sometimes plays with our mind.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: These days many people wish to have be virgins before marriage and others will tell u who virgin epp.Uv come along way don't be deceived sex is overrated.
No general mentality about edo people. My sister is married to an imo man.
DeleteLafresh there is a general mentality about a typical edo woman don't bother with the arguement.
DeletePls Salt E I refuse to accept that sex is not overrated abeg. It's a pleasure everyone should experience. I'm not saying the poster should throw away her virginity just like that though even when I don't belong to the team virginity = decency category of thinkers.
@1, it didn't work the first time does not mean it will not work again, stop wishing ursef bad luck & try again.
ReplyDelete@2, who ur virginity don epp, u need to test d dick to know if it's performing well, some young guys these days ve erection problem, those dat will advice u to tie ur leg like a mermaid are hypocrites cos,all of them are gbenshing their boy friends, getting married as a virgin does not guarantee a happy marriage ok.i can't marry a man without testing his d..k .
Virginity don epp plenty people please.
DeletePoster please keep it abeg. Wish I kept mine too. Sex is so overrated. As pessin don marry sef........ It is overrated.
Very correct and mind you sex is not overrated. Don't mind those that have never had a good fuck. Those that say sex is overrated have they stopped having sex? The ans is a BIG NO.people work na to follow,follow person talk them gree. In this present day who will want to marry a bad luv maker? Me I no fit o! I most test food I put for fire before it's saved.
DeleteServed I mean
DeleteHow come no one tells men to remain virgins till marriage??? Why only women???
DeleteAnon ur head dey there.
DeletePoster one: let's wait together for the igbo's to give their advice.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: tell it to God
For poster 2:
ReplyDeleteIf you start with sex, what will you do in marriage. After the sex now, they will dump you and you will sulk and whine and get depressed. It will be over even before it starts. Any man who loves you will wait till marriage to have sex. You want proof; LOVE IS PATIENT, LOVE IS KIND, IT DOES NOT SEEK ITS OWN . . .google it. What's more? once you get pregnant, they will tell you to abort it; they are not there to marry you; just to have sex.
I work in a hospital and the most cases of "septic abortions" (abortions that get infected etc.) that we see is usually during the first quarter of the year; a fallout of vaginal pounding during Christmas and valentine. Chai, come and see beautiful dead girls, lost wombs, bedridden ones and so on. What pains me most is that these girls will continue denying that they had abortion as if the doctor is a magistrate that will sentence them to death. One denied aborting till she breathed her last only for the nurses that were to prepare her body for the morgue to pull out a mangled baby's remains from her vagina.
And these boys just continue to prowl on the next victims -any vagina that opens! Girls, there is no "rest in peace" if you did not let babies find peace in your womb when the "mistake" of premarital sex was made. If this is your case and you survived it; repent, we all make mistakes.
The guilty ones who do not want to repent are those that will come under my post to rant. Having said it, they will perhaps hide under anonymous and talk about how "nothing happened"! It takes just one day for the thief and murderers to be caught!
Both posters whatever God says, do it.
Delete1. I am Edo and was treated like trash by the Igbo men I dated, guess because I am not from their place. Still I don't believe in tribalism, if I meet a nice one today I can marry him. But my experience has made me less enthusiastic about them than I otherwise would have been.
2. Keep your virginity because you want to please God. Sex is not what will give you marriage or a good husband. Choosing the right man is the challenge, only God knows the heart of men.
U Don come again....
DeleteThank u. To keep or not to keep virginity is ur choice. It doesn't guarantee A good hubby or marriage.
DeleteYou work in a quack hospital... Na una dey kill young girls with una quack experience
DeleteSame here. So done with igbo men.i went through hell with two igbo men I dated. I don't even want to be friends with them. (a Yoruba girl speaking from experience). They marry their own at the end of the day (95%). But if God says you'll marry an anambra guy, then you will. Go on your knees at this crucial time. It's important. Just be careful.
DeleteLollllllllll@ queen jay. I tire for anon 15:08. That post has been recycled several times. It's a good advise though I'll tell you that much.
Poster1- the fact that one experience went one way doesn't mean every esprit Eve will follow suit. After all, it was the other guys folks who didn't support the marriage. This ones folks might. But i advice you not to bring them to your parents so soon. You visit and let him tell them where you're from and watch their reaction. Also wait to hear his response. If all is fine, then you can bring them home. Because if it happens twice, your family won't take you seriously.
ReplyDeletePoster 2- it might be more of your personality than even the guys. Maybe you come across as timid and someone who doesn't Know what she wants. Yes!! Virgin or not if you don't show strength of character guys will take you for granted. I know virgins who are having. The time of their lives. So what are you saying?
Also, check the guys you are attracted to. Are they decent enough? Abi you are just rolling with the wrong type of guys. If you're following yahoo boys and players, then get real and change the game.
See when you want to marry, it's not about the man with the biggest house or he flashiest car. It's about the man who respects you and have the same values as you and the a vision he he working hard to put in place for you to be a part of as his wife. For fun dates, you can role with then flashy guys who pop champagne. But for marriage, nne keep your eyes on the ground. Check the roots not the sprouts.
My two cents oh!
Chikito, you need to remove that "Runs girl" from ur name.
DeleteY'all should quit saying sex is overated, sex is NOT overated at all, its a pleasurable body experience, meant for consenting adult minds. If u don't derive pleasure from sex with ur partner, it dsnt conclude its overated, we're not all wired the same.
DeletePoster, don't mind anyone who tells u sex is overated.... Its overated & all we talk about on this blog is sex & marriage abi?? Cheating stories all over ontop the overated sex abi?? HIV status on the rise on top the overated sex abi??
If u must have sex, do it cus ure in love with the guy & you have the urge, don't bliv it'd guarantee u licence to marriage or eternal love frm the guy, and more importantly do it with a condom.... Don't be the lady to provide the condom tho, it makes u look cheap.
Abi oh @atheist
Delete*doesn't mean every experience will - poster 1
Delete*the flashiest car - poster 2
*has the same values as you and a vision he is working hard to put in place - poster 2
*for fun dates you can role with them flashy guys
Wonder what I was typing?
Lovely
DeleteChikito I respect your mind. Highly good!
DeletePoster 1.... Nil comment
ReplyDeletePoster 2, sex is overrated dear, let ur guy know you are a virgin. Sex or no sex, a relationship meant to last will last. Maybe u don't tell them you are a virgin, but only insist on sex after marriage as most celibate peeps are doing now.
Your own will come.
I am now happily celibate, though I miss sex. However my peace of mind is da bomb! Not willing to exchange that for something trifling and I am more in tune with my relationship with God.
DeleteSex is not overated. I'm married and I enjoy great lovemaking with my husband. Seems like it does get better every time. It is love that's all. However think carefully. If you are asking questions then it means you don't have peace about the way to go. Find God and you get peace. Trust God and you'll very fine.
DeletePoster one anambra men hardly marry women outside their state. The women always marry men from outside but the men mostly always marry from their state. I'm igbo too so we know them. Don't let them deceive you. Only one who truly loves you much will fight to marry you. I have a friend from anambra who caught his family well before they allowed him marry his wife who's from Edo.
ReplyDeletePoster two don't let anyone pressure you into doing what you don't want. But be rest assured that even if you don't have sex before you marry, it dsnt mean you will have a good sex life when you do marry. You might end up being sexually frustrated in your marriage. Anyways, always do what your mind tells you and only have sex because you want to not cos of preessure
I am from Anambra and majority of my male cousins married from outside Anambra. Don't draw conclusions from ur Lil statistics.
DeleteThank you jare. None of my brothers or male cousins married from Anambra, not even one oh. See them quoting flawed statistics up and down as if it's sealed in stone.
DeletePoster 1: if you love any of the guys, why not let him introduce you to his family so you'll know their reactions to his choice or better still ask him if he is sure of his parent's blessings and consent when he brings you home?
ReplyDeletePoster 2: I'm just like you. But you know what, like stella has said do it God's way. Sex would never make a man see you as a wife material, nothing should make you defile yourself. Your man would come without giving you conditions. I speak wisdom to both of you in Jesus Name - Amen.
Tah, close ur mouth what do you know? A man or a woman get get married to someone just because of sex alone. If u married and ur sex life is poor! Omo na road to cheating be that o!
DeleteFor poster 2:
ReplyDeleteWHO opens legs for sex?
Who get's pregnant?
Who bears the guilt of abortion (the man shares in the consequences though; see Proverbs 6:16) and cries every second/everyday?
Who is heartbroken and shattered and confused?
Who has insecurity and low self esteem?
Who is seen as the whore?
Who has suicidal thoughts (yes you murdered a human being or more see Gen. 9:6)?
Who sulks even a decade after the man has moved on, married and had kids?
Who is dumped?
On and on and on.
LADIES, WHY NOT CLOSE THIS HOLE CALLED VAGINA UNTIL YOU GET MARRIED? THE TEST THAT A MAN "LOVES YOU" IS THAT HE IS ABLE TO RESPECT YOUR BODY TILL HE PAYS YOUR BRIDE PRICE.
When the man finishes with you he moves on to the next "gullible victim"
Leave such men who are only interested in you body (no; just interested in your vagina and breasts) alone and face your life and make it right with God and do not kill kids etc.
Jesus says; "whoever comes to me I will not cast away". Matthew 7:6 "Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.
Hahaha this anony again
DeleteI agree with you
You are hereby named "The Who gets Pregnant Anony"
@annon u sef Don come again hahaha
DeleteKwakwakwa
DeleteAnon 15.09. Keep sharing it okay. Many people needs to be reminded that virginity can never be overrated
😂😂😂
DeleteNa only this note u get? Y u dey torment BV'S with same sermon everytime? U b winch?
DeletePoster 1,
ReplyDeleteTruth is most of them won't marry you...
You hardly see an Anambra man getting married to a Benin woman...
Hmmmmm...they don't even marry women from Imo state most especially Owerri talkeless of Benin!...
Give your self brain and run!...
Poster 2,
I wonder why you are holding sex for your men...
Nowadays,being a good girl does not pay!...
Explore,have sex and enjoy mehn...
Stupid thing, it's your children that will be barren! Oloshi oloribu! Vile woman, woman without honor, ani ga tugi
DeleteLinda Ezeh, Learn how to use punctuation marks. What is it with this senseless use of "...." and "!...." all over the place? Illiterate woman
DeleteHahahahahaha, Mz anon, oya come for me too na. Useless person.
DeletePoster 1, let the one you are interested in talk to his family about the possibility of marrying someone outside the state first, so you know where you stand.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, dont make a costly mistake. A man that loves you wouldnt be after your pants, ask Linxx!. Take Stella's advice!!!
Poster, why are Edo men not seeking your hand in marriage? Are you sure you have good character? How come it is only people from far place dat like you and your own people did not want you?
ReplyDeleteOh shut up if you don't know what to say.Mr good character
DeleteJames the son of Zebedee,!!!!
DeleteMy dear its not a matter of good character her location too,maybe she stays in the east....my dear if he really loves you and he's a good man...he'll propose to you..don't lose your cookies yet..
DeletePoster 2:
ReplyDeleteI've come to realize that 99% of them feel so because they've opened their legs for the guy; he even probably dis-virgined them. On the contrary, nearly 90% of girls who never offered sex to the boy didn't feel depressed or suicidal. God in his word is so clear where and when sex should be enjoyed; in marriage. On a personal note, my husband was my friend for 7 years and fiancé for 4 years before we got married (I was nearly 30 years) and I remained a virgin (by the grace of God) and he same. It is only by giving heed to God's word that a young person can keep his/her way pure. I've also realized that once these heartbroken ladies gave themselves to Christ and began fasting and reading the word of God, they had amazing recoveries; they became ebullient, peaceful and hopeful. In their next relationships, they do not make these same mistakes (talking about those I was able to follow up)
Bless yr heart darling
DeleteP1 same thing happened to me. I am Edo he was from Anambra, had to end it between us when his parents were becoming difficult. After that na so so Igbo boys especially Anamabra boys that were flocking round me until I took time out of relationship to seek the face of God in my life and it worked, although I am about settling down with an Edo man. Just seek Gods face and He will sought you out. Goodluck
ReplyDeleteSought: Past tense of seek, also means "look for".
DeleteSort: To arrange, tidy, perfect
God will sort her out.
Sort.
Anon brighter grammar book5, seek in this context is correct.
DeleteThere is a level of vulnerability one experiences in a sexual relationship which should only occur within a committed, trusting, marital union.
ReplyDeleteThere are, in general, two contexts for premarital sex. There is the “we love each other and are committed to each other, but just don’t want to wait to be married” sexual relationship, and there’s “casual sex.” The former is often rationalized with the idea that the couple will surely marry, so there’s no sin in engaging in marital relations now. However, this shows impatience and disrespect to oneself, as well as the other person. It removes the special nature of the relationship from its proper framework, which will erode the idea that there’s a framework at all. If we accept this behavior, it’s not long before we’ll regard any extra-marital sex as acceptable. To tell our prospective mate that they’re worth waiting for strengthens the relationship and increases the commitment level.
Casual sex is rampant in many societies. There is, in truth, no such thing as “casual” sex, because of the depth of intimacy involved in the sexual relationship. An analogy is instructive here. If we take a sticky note and attach it to a piece of paper, it will adhere. If we remove it, it will leave behind a small amount of residue; the longer it remains, the more residue is left. If we take that note and stick it to several places repeatedly, it will leave residue everywhere we stick it, and it will eventually lose its ability to adhere to anything. This is much like what happens to us when we engage in “casual” sex. Each time we leave a sexual relationship, we leave a part of ourselves behind. The longer the relationship has gone on, the more we leave behind, and the more we lose of ourselves. As we go from partner to partner, we continue to lose a tiny bit of ourselves each time, and eventually we may lose our ability to form a lasting sexual relationship at all. The sexual relationship is so strong and so intimate that we cannot enter into it casually, no matter how easy it might seem.
Forget that crap about you being "too old" and trust God. My dear, you've held on for such a long tiand you want to throw it all away and disobey God when your miracle might be at the corner?
A man that truly genuinely loves you will respect you and your body. If a man refuse to marry you cos you deny sex before marriage, good riddance! Let a man see you for who you are and not for your bedroom skills.
Hold on firmly to your faith in God. Pray to Him and tell Him everything, the Bible says God will not forsake those who trust in Him and obey His words. And watch a miracle happen in your life.
Be strong!Keep your head up. Do not compromise your standard! God's got you, baby!!
Thank u for your writeup,it gives me strength ti move on.though am not @poster 2 but am experiencing the same thing..the diff is that i put my all into the relationship and i feel dejected
Delete😍😍😍😍 your comment! 1,000,000likes dear
DeleteGod will bless u for sharing this Truth.
DeletePoster 1 the first guy is not your man, do not judge other anambra guys base on your experience.
ReplyDeleteMind you am getting married to an anambra guy and I do not agree with you that the only marry their ladies cos am from IMO state. All you need is peace of mind and conviction in
your heart that the guy is real. Never forget to pray.
All the best.
Poster 2: Do not open up that cookie jar. Remember you've kept it closed for 26 years, if you didn't open up all these I suggest you don't pressure yourself of let society pressure you into doing so now please.
ReplyDeleteCompletely ignore everyone telling you to do so now, God don't ugly honey!!!!
P1 give one of them a chance, u never know..P2 if a guy really loves u and wants to settle down with u,he will wait till u guys are married. Don't give it away for nothing. Date d one that is ready for marriage and tell him it will be ur wedding gift to him. If u r gonna be his wife then y the hurry,sex that u guys will get tired of later, he should wait except he ain't serious.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: Do not open up that cookie jar. Remember you've kept it closed for 26 years, if you didn't open up all these I suggest you don't pressure yourself of let society pressure you into doing so now please.
ReplyDeleteCompletely ignore everyone telling you to do so now, God don't ugly honey!!!!
Every chronicle is about this "hole called vagina". Why can't girls close this hole. The creator closed it and allowed only a little opening for menstrual blood to come out. It is meant to be opened in marriage. But it looks like some girls are forcing the hole open before time; all with disastrous consequences; pregnancy, abortion, infections, dumping, sulking, depression, suicidal thoughts, attempted suicide, deaths, hell; yes hell!
ReplyDeleteI am from anambra and it's true most anambra pple prefer to marry within..
ReplyDeletePoster 1 give the one u like a chance and see how it goes
ReplyDeletePoster 2 don't compromise ur faith...The right man will cm
Poster 1: free your mind. Give love a chance. Anambra men are not all bad. I'm also Edo/Delta by tribe. I was engaged to a Yoruba man, then tribe thing came up and too much wahala. Then he left. I'm still single and searching while he's married with kids. Please dear, don't waste time. Give room to the Anambra man. Poster 2: Follow scriptures and use your brain too. I'm a strong believer of no sex before marriage, but, here I am, pretty, born-again, 2 degrees yet no marriage at mid 30!. My dear, use your Bible + your brain.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 hang in there. Don't let any pressure make you derail from your belief (waiting after marriage). After keeping yourself this long you cannot just "enjoy" sex before marriage, you'll definitely attach lots of feelings and will love to be seriously committed to that person.
ReplyDeleteYou know what happens when those kind of relationships doesn't lead to marriage especially those ladies who don't see sex as fun and easily feel 'used& dumped' - serious heartbreak!!!
You'll be fine. Don't listen to all those stories of problems arising from no testing before marriage. Those who tested aren't free from problems.
Just pray for the right man. Forget about siblings, friends getting married before your eyes. You're will come soon, just don't be desperate marriage wise.
Goodluck
S and M in disguise
ReplyDeleteNext thing that you'll read on Monday IHN is a guy(guys) asking for her contact.
Poster 2 keep up wt ur vicinity n do not let any man decieve u.For people like us who will tell u dt there's no big deal in marrying as a virgin,deep down we still wish we were.
I hope ur own virginity is not just a closed hymen wt a torn anal.Hope ur character is good too.Best wishes
U go fear vicinity. Its virginity I meant to write jare.my dear keeping ur virginity will save u from d fear of diseases.
DeleteWhat is extremely beautiful?
ReplyDeletePoster they don't marry outside their tribe oh. Just look else where to avoid heart brake. Because if he marry you he will still marry a woman from his state. Poster 2 if you like pop it is your body, your business.
ReplyDeleteNo be only heart brake! 1st time am hearing Anambra men are polygamous. Where una dey get all these lousy statistics from sef? Am a guy from Anambra rounding up marriage rites with my Efik gf & that nonsense you just wrote is annoying.
DeletePoster 2 do not give in to the pressure of sex biko. Relax, focus on better things for now, read your bible, serve God faithfully and God will give you a better man that will wait till after marriage.
ReplyDeleteWe have all had sex and cannot write anything good about it, pls close your legs and wait for the right man.
Sex can never keep a man, sex will make a man not to trust you. I know is not easy but you can do it sweetheart. Just hold on, you will be fine.
Y'all should quit saying sex is overated, sex is NOT overated at all, its a pleasurable body experience, meant for consenting adult minds. If u don't derive pleasure from sex with ur partner, it dsnt conclude its overated, we're not all wired the same.
ReplyDeletePoster, don't mind anyone who tells u sex is overated.... Its overated & all we talk about on this blog is sex & marriage abi?? Cheating stories all over ontop the overated sex abi?? HIV status on the rise on top the overated sex abi??
If u must have sex, do it cus ure in love with the guy & you have the urge, don't bliv it'd guarantee u licence to marriage or eternal love frm the guy, and more importantly do it with a condom.... Don't be the lady to provide the condom tho, it makes u look cheap.
Anambra na mamayi si dem be na but if you meet a mature and responsible dude, he wont allow his people disturb you .
ReplyDeleteSerious mma anyi si
DeleteJust admit say you have been shagging fuck boys jare. An immature man will be my mummy say boy irrespective of tribe.
DeletePoster one, Please go and marry your Edo people. Them full everywhere stop forming is only Anambra you see. My bro wants to marry an Edo girl and we are from Imo state but I don't care though I feel he should have married an Igbo woman instead. But if na Edo girl fuck am well, who am I to say no? I go give my blessings and put my eyes inside my bag not to hear stories that causes ear problem though it is not our prayer.
ReplyDeleteIf na Anambra man God they bring for you, woman!! please marry him but get ready to be treated like an outsider. Anambra no dey gree marry their fellow Igbo's talk more of Edo lol. I wish you all the best.
Poster two, If I tell you to fuck now, some Rev sisters and Fathers will come under my post to preach the bible to me. So I will keep quiet. But I will say the truth in silence of my heart. Madam, virgin no epp anybody oh! Na prostitutes dey marry better husbands pass holy holy sisters. Those who are in their thirty's and still single na so them been dey do then. There is no man that will want to buy goods without checking it out.
Let the Jesus Christ on this blog advise you biko.
Why do you have to mention Jesus Christ. Hmmm
DeletePoster one pray and ask God for directions. Poster two please reserve sex for marriage. Honour comes with it. All the best.
ReplyDeletePoster 1.... pray earnestly about it
ReplyDeletePoster 2..... Don't have sex b4 marriage PERIOD! God will give u ur real husband who will understand u
They say that is overrated but they ain't doing it right... All day I dream about shhh with you...
ReplyDeleteLittle Mix
Y'all should listen to this song
Poster 1: I will advice you give it another chance. I will advice, you also ask his family views about marrying other tribes.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: Desist yourself from friends who promote sex. Don't compromise at all. God will grant you your heart desire of man who is not sex sick.
The ugly side of sex is that you keep on testing different men each time your heart is broken and you move to another relationship. The man you are dating now could do all the testing and still not marry you.
BE WISE!!!
Poster 1 if I had known you before you agreed to marry your ex I would have adviced you against it. Don't waste your time with an Anambra man o, they will love you, care for you and all but they will never marry you. I dated one for 4 years of my life, time to marry... The guy started singing another tune. Don't try it, don't keep wasting your time with them, one has taught you a lesson my dear please learn from it. Leave them, they are time wasters.
ReplyDeleteMy Ebira friend was dating one last year, I told her "Anambra man never marry Abia girl sef e come cross come kogi con marry you when him mama dey alive" she stayed with him until early this year the guy said his mother said he can't marry Kogi girl.
They are so tribalistic that even inside the Anambra they will still say they will marry only Nnewi girls because one thing or the other is wrong with another tribe in the same state o.
My dear look forward, be steadfast in prayer... The one God intended for you will come, and I know God will not give you boyfriend or husband that you will write chronicles about.
Loooool, chai buh that's the painful truth with anambra guys.poster u sabi them wella
DeleteDoes anyone the cos t of a good Indian lace George?
ReplyDeleteLemme quickly enter the market and ask.
DeleteI'm coming.
Poster 1:Forget it and keep moving.
ReplyDeleteA lot of Anambra families need wives they can easily control.......they use familiarity in culture to cover up.So marrying a girl from their village or closeby is a way of achieving that. Besides, the powers from your side are unpredictable if things turn fetish tomorrow......forget the christianity a lot of igbos flaunt.....many are hardcore traditionalists. Pray for Mr Right.....when he comes, there will be peace and swift acceptance. But, sha.....you seem like your marital destiny is in the East.
Poster2: Do not bow to pressure.......look around, the bad girls are not winning anymore. Keep it together, unnecessary soul ties, stds, God's wrath and guilt is not worth it. Wait on God.....Prince charming will show.
*sigh*...have I told you how much I like you? Chuck full of wisdom!
DeletePoster 1 - I am an Anambra lady and I will be honest to you here,the truth is that Anambra guys respect and do whatever their mum tells them,some even go as far as choosing a wife for their son and they hardly complain when this happens, it's very rare to see them marry outside. So darling, shine your eye wella and don't get deceive or emotionally entangled but since you said this particular guy is persistent, you go see his family and know what's up but don't put your mind to it. I wish you luck dear,i hope it works for you.
ReplyDeletePoster 2- Sex or no sex whoever wants to dump you will do so, so dear since you've preserved your virginity to this age, you keep it and do it God's way.
My family frnd is from anambra and his wife is from delta state,so it depends
ReplyDeletePhilophobia is the fear of falling in love...
ReplyDeletePoster two. Have sex and enjoy yourself. Do it because you want it not because want to use it to hold any guy down. Happy gbenshing in advance
ReplyDelete@ Anno 3:03 yes I'm an international student in d U.k,one of my classmate went to turkey last month
ReplyDeleteHello, is your classmate Nigerian? Was it an e visa that was used?
DeleteIbos are easily the most tribalistic tribe in Nigeria.....Sad.
ReplyDeleteWow poster 1, Hmmm to be honest, Anambra parents have a thing about their children marrying Edo oooh.
ReplyDeleteI don't know why, but they said that most of them get shine for them compound, na normal thing for their side. Yet I have met many Edo people that don't do jazz.
Good of you to seek advice before you enter. My advice is to pray about it. Don't go to any “man of God” oh. Ask God to reveal this man to you, to reveal his full intentions and desires. Ask for light if you’re a good match and then for God to perfect this work in your life, then Go and sleep. It’s that simple.
You will get the answers you seek, but will you listen... that is the question?
May God give us all wisdom.
Poster 2: BRB
ReplyDeletePoster 2: God’s way is the best way. I say if you can abstain they try to and ask for God’s strength. Sex is amazing if you’re doing it with the one who loves you as much as; or even more than you love him.
Sex becomes sour when you do it without been emotionally mature and stable. Also remember many people walk around blind in the world because of sex, so make sure when you do start having sex, it is with the right person both spiritually and physically.
May God give us all wisdom.
Poster1: It's not a general thing about ALL Anambra people. For the educated ones, it doesn't matter. All that matters is that the couple live in peace with NO DIVORCE. I'm Anambra, I have 4 married brothers. Only one married from Anambra. The rest went outside with one marrying from as far as Rivers state.
ReplyDeleteEducated or not, Anambra people (Igbo in general) are myopic and tribalistic like that.
DeleteIt's true that Anambra men like to marry from Anambra state, their mum won't even support other Igbo states. But hey, nothing is impossible with God. Don't hold back, whoever is your hubby will marry you. Afterall I'm from Anambra they never even marry me so? Just pray about it before you go in, ask God if this is your man. He will surely direct you.
ReplyDeletePoster 1: I am from Imo and married a man from Anambra. I had suitors from Imo too but I wasn't considering state of origin so I ignored them. More often than not, I have regretted not marrying someone from my state. At least I would be appreciated. My Hubby's family did not object to the marriage because they are free minded people but their extended family and friends find it so irritating that they accepted someone from my state. My husband and even his family point it out at every opportunity that I am from Imo. I walk on egg shells. They attribute almost all my actions to the fact that I come from Imo state. I am always very careful because of this because, my mother in law will always say "don't u know this one is from Imo state". I can't say all here but for ur peace of mind, think long and hard before u marry an anambra man even if they "accept" u initially.
ReplyDeleteNo need for long and hard thinking.... Poster 1 just don't do it! A word is enough for the wise.
DeletePoster 1, first of all darling, marriage is ordained by God and God alone. It was never man's idea. I advise you go to God in prayers and ask him to show you your husband. Do not take anyone to God to approve for you. They all might not be the one God has ordained for you darling. Please do not work by sight in marriage.
DeletePoster 2, please do not fall into this trap Satan has set for you. The first person you sleep with might just be HIV POSITIVE! Be wise! Can't you see Satan wants you to give it up? God has ordained someone that would cherish you because of this virginity. I mean, look around you! You're a diamond amongst women. Do not turn back darling, you've have come so far.
Shalom.
Poster 1 listen carefully pls flee.
ReplyDeleteI dated an anambra guy mgbakwu in Awka to be precise dude is almost 40 but he's still hoping he settles with an awka babe,thank God for Jesus who didn't let me waste much time in the 8-9months relationship riddled with problems ,quarrels and misunderstandings left and right.
Anambra people esp.Awka,Nnewi,and Onitsha my dear forget it if you are not from the same area with them its difficult for them to marry you.reason being that they see themselves as too good,too cute,too rich(illegal money o drugs and rituals) and too perfect so they want to keep this perfection within no other tribe is as good as they are.
This guy i dated kept telling me about all he's ex-gfs who are also from awka the way he talked about them with so much sentiment like he would have really loved the relationship to work.
I thank God am out of his grip and pls note most anambra men who do business are not clean.Awka(rituals&drugs)Spain -Madrid is their HQ. Amichi(drugs &419),Nnewi(rituals) etc.
Poster 1 i am from IMO state but i wasnt even welcomed you Edo lmao.i remember hanging out with some of he's awka friends my dear the kind of cold shoulder they gave me ehhnnn when he told them i was from IMO.hmm and i was engaged to him oo
Igbo people generally have something against Edo. They say it was Edo people who gave them away during the Biafra war.
So my dear just walk but if ur spirit encourages you then carry on.
An Anambara man can NEVER marry outside their state. Even when they meet an Anambara girl they will still want them to be close to their village. Poster 1, leave them alone o, they are time wasters. I have witnessed many heartbreaks from Anambara men and "outsiders".
ReplyDeletenne i m an igbo guy married to edo woman,very nice and sweet loving lady wit four kids.cooks all igbo food even beter than igbo woman,now speaks igbo and my family luv her to pieces.
ReplyDeleteShe said Anambra not just Igbo. Re you From Anambra?
Deleteposter one give him a chance. poster two stay strong just the way u are.. the right guy will show up soon all d best
ReplyDeletePoster 2, story of my life. I can imagine how frustrated you are, i'm tired and almost giving up, evry relationship looks good at first and then they start complaining after a while.. Not giving up tho
ReplyDeleteHmmnn.. This one is serious oh.. I'm presently dating an Ananbra man.
ReplyDeletePoster 1. Ild ask you to be positive as it might be difficult. Focus on the good. Pray and fast as much as you can because at the end of the day his parents would still die oh and it would be you two left, why should they make that kind of decision then?
I like this blog, see plenty responses!!!
ReplyDeletePoster1: It simply depends on your man. Parents will be parents. Your man needs liver to stand up for you. Shikena.
Poster 2: How good, exciting, youthful, transparent are you? Yes virginity is a gift but its one day, your personality is what the men will live with forever. Check am