NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
ITS COMPLICATED
Hi Stella hi BVS. I guess this is a chronicle and please any advice will be helpful.
I have some questions to ask you.
Why is my man not ready to commit to me?
We have been dating for 5 years, It seems he is not ready to get married to me. There have been talks between both families yet he snaps and gets agitated at the mention of marriage.
Recently my brothers asked him if he had found a place to rent, and he snapped and disrespected them shouting please leave me alone. I called his mum during the weekend and could hear him shouting don't plan anything, he gets angry when his family calls me.
He called me that same night saying do not talk to any member of my family.
He also made statements such as "I love you so much if you being with someone else would make you the happiest girl in the world I would understand" "Follow someone else" "I want to try illegal immigrant status in USA" consistently.
I don't know what to do with this guy.
Okay he brought up the idea of travelling abroad with work visa and its cheaper to go as a couple. Currently his sister and her husband have moved, and other mutual friends are processing this.
My family thinks why not get married before you finalise your immigration profile and go for your visa interview. Even if its court papers we present he is so hesitant to do anything.
He says everyone is forcing him to get married. He is 32 I am 31. Says he is under pressure, he is so snappy and edgy now, anytime we have a conversation and i don't agree with a point he says " You have questionable qualities as a wife and i doubt if you are good wife material, your decisions and actions state otherwise"
Just because i said i believe buying a 2nd car is right for now isn't as profitable as buying a land so he can invest money in the land instead of car, he flipped on me and said I'm not wife material.
Woke up in the morning shouting at me "why the f--- is everyone asking him to get a place? I am not ready to move out of my father's house. When did i say i want to get married?"
A date has been set for the wedding in December but i don't see myself with this man.
A man not excited to be with me, not excited to marry me, someone not looking forward to being with me, someone i basically forced to marry me. the love has turned to resentment. He was there when his sister got married, the guy was persistent and pushful, the guy even waited 2years for the 1st girl to get married. He applauded the guy for being patient with their family for insisting the older girl married 1st yet he is so frustrated with me.
I am honestly thinking of canceling the wedding. Please help me.
BV Naomi
.............................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
RENOUNCING CULTISM AND ITS CONSEQUENCES
Good day Stella... thank you for giving people a chance to send in heart aching chronicles when they are shattered and confused just as I am now..please I would really appreciate if this could be posted urgently. As it's a matter of life and death...
I come from a very average Christian home,and my major ache now is my younger brother.. he is just 19...it's only my mum we have got now,as my dad passed on two years back..my kid bro is my mum's favorite.,maybe it's because he is her first son ...mum sold a property just to send him to a private university,..it's a very popular private school here In Benin..
My brother got there, mixed up with the wrong people and started picking up bad habits...my brother began to smoke weed,drink, flirt heavily,steal and as we recently just found out is a cultist...
His behavior has caused a whole lot of heartache in our house.. my mum now has chronic BP self..we never knew he was a cultist until till recently when he confessed to us...that was after many pleadings from family, mum and grand mum's tears and plenty of prayers..
His behavior has caused a whole lot of heartache in our house.. my mum now has chronic BP self..we never knew he was a cultist until till recently when he confessed to us...that was after many pleadings from family, mum and grand mum's tears and plenty of prayers..
he says he joined because of oppression and peer pressure that now he wants to renounce but that it may cost him his life.. he even ran away from school saying he is tired and that he can't school anywhere around this country as they would be after him..
HE said he has never killed anyone before ..or gone on robbery operations..he was a new intake..the name of the cult he said he was was MAFIA..
We all at home are so confused now. I have no single idea on how this whole cult thing works.. would they really kill him if he renounces?
Is this country no longer safe for him?? Wouldn't going to another country be worse especially for someone of my bro's nature who is easily influenced?... please am in dire need of advice ..
Chronicle be nice!
ReplyDeleteBrb!
Poster 1, I know dt ur bf must be a yoruba
DeleteHe shouldn't renounce shit. It's better he moves on, like runs into hiding while you pipu figure out what to do with him. From what I have read, you are tryna blame the cult for his wrong doings. Tueh! If he renounces, he can be killed there. Use your head
DeleteI will read comments
Delete...and dat was aw u jes BLUNTLY displayed ur foolishness and stupidity for d world to see.
DeletePoster1, sweety there is no plan anywhere, you u check is medical record, are u sure he is mentally balance, cos I don't understand why u was saying u don't ve qualities of a good wife, bcos u wanted him to invest on land instead of car? And always shouting upandan even to ur face he doesn't wanna marry, babe ur man is sick!
DeleteSo put on ur running shoes biko.
Poster2, ask bvs in d house, them full here.
Bloody racist
DeletePoster 1, please cancel!!! This dude dated you since when you were 26 and he is tired.. so tired but he is a coward, he just can't tell you to your face! Let him go!!!
DeletePoster2, I think your spoilt brother is in trouble.. serious trouble! Only God knows what he's gotten himself into and he's definitely not telling y'all the whole story. You can decide to send him abroad where una eyes no fit reach or let him learn a trade here in naija preferably in the village for a year - to punish him -before sending him back to another school!
Poster 1, READ THE HANDWRITING ON THE WALL! I am shouting so it will sink into you! Before you know dv will enter the marriage.
DeletePoster 1 use your head and. Leave the fool you are regarding as boo.
Delete@ poster 2.. your brother is about to scam you all.
He knows mum would give him money to travel out as he is her favourite.
Abeg leave him make he go Federal universities like Unaab and Futa he won't see anyone to disturb him all the way from Benin
Poster2:my brother was exactly like your brother same cult he joined. I would just tell you what we did that saved his life as the cult members were always coming to the house to threaten us. We took him into hiding for about a year in a relatives house in another location then he traveled abroad and went to continue school by then he had learnt his lesson so his head had come down to study. Those students can actually be deadly at this stage.
DeletePoster one- ur story sounds so much like mine only for the age difference. I told boo I wasn't happy o, our wedding was scheduled for the last quarter of the year and the families have been on our case. I called it off and I am happier now. Please move on abeg.
DeletePoster 2: Your brother wants to play on your intelligence. Let him learn a trade jor. Spoilt brat.
DeletePoster 2: Your brother wants to play on your intelligence. Let him learn a trade jor. Spoilt brat.
DeletePoster 2: Your brother wants to play on your intelligence. Let him learn a trade jor. Spoilt brat.
DeletePoster 2: Your brother wants to play on your intelligence. Let him learn a trade jor. Spoilt brat.
DeleteI was a cultist in school,and. No longer a member,dont attend meetings or gatherings,cos d cult I joined u re nt forced to join.they even want u to leave cos dey believe d fewer d merrier .so my advise to u poster 2,be frnds with dem,stop attending meetings or gathering draw closer to God and any of dem u see preach d word of God to dem,they gona leave u alone.
DeletePoster one the desperado i hail. Stop choking the young man. Put yourself in his shoes for a minute. The guy does not want to marry. Runnnnnnnnnn as fast as you can before his family turns you to family wife. 5years don turn licence for marriage?
DeletePoster 2, even if your mum wants to sell everything she has to send her child to a private uni, is it that particular school she will send him to(i know the school)? Deed done already. Abroad is not an option. He's still young, let him sit for 1 year he head go correct. As for cultism let him not renounce publicly, he should just move on.
Poster 1: I wish I can screenshot the massage DH colleaques just sent in a while ago for. Your case embodies hers except she is already married with kids.
DeleteShe was forced on the man by his family even when the man said he wasnt interested in marriage. They thought a spell was cast on him and love will grow in his heart for his wife. The man repeatedly informed the wife that he wasnt interested in marriage but babe won't listen (I MUST MARRY SPIRIT). After marriage, guy never lived with his wife as man and woman yet in the same city. No sex and the husband has only had sexual intercourse with her twice which resulted in the 2-kids.
The man visits them once in 8months. No love, no sexual activities. Wife caters alone for the children's upkeep and she is seeking divorce. She claims husband family pities her and has asked her to liberate herself And Pastors have asked her to divorce him.
Do not force yourself on a guy who is not interested in marriage. BE WARNED!
Let him be!
...TAG A FRIEND, COMMENT & PRAY FOR SDKBLOG...
Fly him out of d country. It will save his life. What if one of the cult members is a bv
DeleteThis weed chic is on drugs. Listen to yourself. Take your brother to church for deliverance, only God can save him. Sending him out of the country is a trap.
DeletePoster 1- you better cancel that wedding sharply!! Why is he till staying at his parents when he can afford a second car? Abi did they will the house to him and he doesn't see the sense in lying rents?
ReplyDeleteThere is a saying that a man who treats you like a queen was raised by one who taught him how to treat one. If he yells at his mother then there's no hope. So better run!!
Your name and your advise are on opposite terrain. Sound advice.
DeleteLol @ precious. Thanks.... It's just a blog ID 😉
Delete*doesnt see the sense in paying rents (I meant)
DeleteGbam! Women learn to raise kings and not thugs
DeletePoster 1 5 years and he still doesnt know what he wants and neither do you.
ReplyDeleteYou can't and shouldn't force a man to marry you when he has made it clear that you're badgering him. Why are your people calling him up asking him questions. If he wants to marry you this very minute, he doesn't need anyone to remind him.
He saw you and asked you out the first time.
Give him some room. You both need to take a breather and think deeply if you want to continue to break off while you still can.
At 32, he still has time to play around before he is ready but not you at 31. You need to start getting set for plan B. Put that December plan on hold for now. This kind of man can marry you just to please you then walk out one day without looking back and then a lot of water would have passed under the bridge.
Poster 2 private Uni's practice cultism? Anyway nothing to add here.
@doppel,well said to poster one.get ready for plan b. That marriage might or will frustrate you later on.
DeleteYou'v said it all Doppel! @ poster, its obvious you are forcing this guy into marriage. He's already made it known indirectly that he doesn't wanna marry u. When a guy tells his gf that he'd let her go if that will make her happy, what again are you expecting him to say?? Girl 5yrs is not 5days, let go of that guy he's not into you to wanna spend his entire life and you'l be damned if he marries you eventually out of pity.
DeletePoster 2...cultists are never free people unless no be serious cult he join. Best thing would be to send him out of the country. Once he renounces they'l. Come after him. This reminds me of todays sermon in church...Prov. 22:6, Daniel 8:1-8....when parents failed to train up a child rightly, that child strays away.
You said it well @doppelganger
DeleteKING XOXO MYSTERY
Doppelgänger on point like always
DeleteYou said it all
DeleteHmmm.... @ poster2 😒
ReplyDelete@ poster 1, after reading your write up I remembered what My Grandfather always told me; NEVER EVER date one Guy, do Circular dating. Dates other guys, you don't have to sleep with them all, you are doing so to protect your heart, don't make a man your 'demi God'. Worridis??? Someone that said " You have questionable qualities as a wife and i doubt if you are good wife material, your decisions and actions state otherwise" and you still want to go ahead? He dint fix any wedding date u & his family FIXED it?
DeleteBut poster why give this man 5years of your Life? Are u trying to tell me you dint see alofa dis? Later we will be screaming DV in marriage can't you see d signs already???
@ 31 so fucking what? How can u think of marrying someone that has put u through such Emotional trauma? If you wher my sister eh! Mtcheeew
I will join you to eat pop corn.....
ReplyDeletePoster 1 as i was reading your chronicle i felt choked up. I put myself in the guy's shoes and i felt like y'all about to tie me down. Please take a deep breath. Have you done that? Now cancel the whole thing and leave this mof**k* alone. Jeez! Have some self respect girl! Cut all communication with him and his family. Work on yourself. It will hurt but make sure you look happy, buy new clothes, go to the movies... Do all these but not just with him or any member of his family. *takes a deep breath on your behalf*
DeleteLove your comment! Poster 1 LEAVE! He isn't ready to settle down. Abi na divorce you prefer? Just respect yourself and walk. God loves you, that's why He allowed the guy to misbehave. It won't be the easiest decision, in fact it will be hard but it will be worth it.
DeleteFirst poster I was so angry while reading this shit, what is wrong with you .
ReplyDeleteThe guy don't want to marry you ! Can't you see it ?
Why forcing and pushing yourself on the young man ?
To the extentop of your brothers asking him ....ogini.
Find someone , I don't know why some people like doing this themselves, tomorrow now you will say " he dumped me after 20 years " .
Nne eh, this thing tire me. Adonundastand* poster also as you are taking the holiday from him and his family, buy and read that book *why men love bitches* you might find a new insight on how to give *yaself prestige*_in mercy Johnson's voice.
Delete@ poster 1, please walk and not look back. YOU WILL NEVER ENJOY BEING MARRIED TO HIM. Forget the years and wait for someone who will give PEACE. He is not the last male walking....it is not about how long but how well your quality of life is. In fact run...
ReplyDeletePlease don't take lady T advise. You are 31 years old woman, go share with the wedding.
DeleteLeave her , alone you idiot!!!. It's bullies like you that push ladies into hell by making them think they're too old. Leave her.Its the quality of life that matters . not to rush into hell and try to rush out, and then they would have been so much chronicles.
DeletePoster 1, leave dat ur boyfriend. U just wasted five years of your precious life with him. He did not want to marry you.
ReplyDeleteDon't force him to marry you. If you do. Sorry will be your second name. U will even regret coming to this world in the first place.
James you are so right.
Delete@Poster 1, if you finally end up with that man, your life will be frustrated, you will send more chronicles to Stella, so please, let him go. He already said if he you see another guy that will make you happy, that you should follow him, what other signs did you need to know the guy will never be yours? Free him and be open to another potential suitor.
ReplyDelete@Poster 2, Stella abeg I need popcorn on this, because I see myself reading comments.
*Larry was here*
Bv naomi, forget about the years 'invested' and move on.
DeleteMight not be so easy for you, when you consider the age factor, but it's for the best.
If that dude marries you out of pressure, he will abuse you in all forms.
Save us and yourself from future narratives, and take a walk now.
Thank you.
Lai lai.she no go hear una advise o. Even make all bvs cut all their ears join her own. She no go hear!!; I sabi ladies like am. Naomi leave this guy o.
DeleteNo be Naomi be her name ò, na Ruth. You people won't kill mii
Delete'You are honestly thinking of cancelling the wedding'?
ReplyDeleteNne, which wedding?
I didn't read about any impending wedding in your narrative, abi na my eyes? Lemme go and read again sef.
He's not ready to commit neither is he excited at the prospect of having you as a wife. So move the fuck on!
😠😒😒😞
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteLol.. Yeah she said a date has been set..... I missed it also.
DeleteQuicksilver, u r d best. Thought i was d only one dt noticed. Hey babe, if u think d guy himself is ready to marry u in December, go ahead n start planning and see how he'll back out of it weeks to the wedding. You're deceiving ursef abt a wedding dat will not hold. 2) What is wrong with u? U are sending dis chronicle as if you do not know that this guy doesn't love you. You are only here trying to convince yourself. If i may ask, in the course of this 5years,have u met any1 who you think is up to the supposed 'standards' of this guy? If not, then you're pushing ursef on him coz he's d only one you see. Snap out of ur delirium girl.
DeletePoster 2: "Point your kids in the right direction—when they’re old they won’t be lost." Proverbs 22:6 (MSG). If he can join a cult, then he can do money rituals where they'll ask him to bring his mother's head. My mum raised her children alone too. She has only a son, and he is almost done in unilag, a member of the choir in school n at home, spiritually-driven and Jesus-motivated. Now ur mum has BP. She over-pampered him coz he's her first or only son u say? Running away won't solve it coz he'll do worse in ur absence. Take him back to the giver-God. U don't own him. Let d owner take care of him, coz from d look of things, ur mum is terrible at owning things.
Atheist i missed that date because with what she wrote, i didnt see where she got a proposal or anything. Her family and the guy's family just fixed a date for the poor guy who is apparently not interested any more.
DeleteJirade I am not the poster but what u said is very unfair concerning her mum, ur brother isn't good becos ur mum did a fantastic job ur brother is good bcos he has a good head on his shoulders. There are people who grow up in the ghetto with the most useless parents yet they wld simply decide to follow the right path and be good for themselves. Of wch u don't even knw if ur brother had experimented all these things and realised on his own it wasn't worth it. Pls don't speak when u don't knw d family dynamics. There are a lot of only boys who are spoilt rotten yet dey won't join cult or do bad things out of fear of hurting their mother, so pls it is individual characteristics that make a person. The parents can help but it is also d individual that can help themselves.
DeleteAnon 18:49,don't raise ur child well n wait for d one dat has a good head. Let me tell u, no parent is perfect, but everything boils down to up-bringing. Do ur part n leave d rest to God. If at 19 he's already a cultist, he can be a ritualist at 21. Haven't we heard of cases of children of 13-15 decapitating people's body? A boy of 19 is in d news coz he executed his entire family members coz of drugs. How does a child get a 'good' head if he never has d fear of God. I won't peddle drugs, not because i don't have the mind to, but b'coz I'm afraid God will do something to me in d process;like d drug bursting up inside of me. Spend ur money on ur children, give dem d best, discipline dem, love dem, pamper dem. But never forget one thing, "the fear of God, is the beginning of WISDOM." I didn't say dat, d bible did. Pray to God to make ur children fear Him, as you also imbibe dat in them. Remember, a 'good' child was not born to be 'good' but raised to be, with ur effort n prayers n d help of the Holy spirit. The bible says "And Jesus GREW in wisdom n stature," it didn't say 'he was BORN'. HE GREW.
DeleteJirade I never said I won't train my children well and wait for the 1 with good head. I never said God isn't important or d fear of Jesus isn't a very good stepping stone. I just said u don't assume that her mother didn't do her own part. That she let him go astray. Abeg I can't explain my opinion Any further. If u don't undastand me no problem. But my children wld b well brought up and I wld keep praying for God to direct their path. Thank you.....
DeleteNaomi,
ReplyDeleteUse your tongue and count your teeth...this guy is a time waster!...
Why are you wasting your time with someone like this?...you are 31 and not getting any younger!..
Stop putting all your eggs in one basket you people will never hear...
See this guy is not into you!...and the earlier you start fishing for another man the better for you!...
Poster 2,
I don't advise people to allow their children school here in Nigeria!...
Your mom would have used the money and send him to a good school abroad!...
There's nothing you guys would do again..
You people should gather money and fly him out!...
Shut up, Polythectic bitch.
DeleteLmao!!! So where do your own children school if you have any...madam if you've got no advice for poster 2 kindly keep shut!!!people have schooled in Nigeria and nothing do them okay ...Everything depends on the person's home training and type of mindset okay...be forming rubbish here . You think it's not bad outside the country ,burst that stupid bubble you've put around yourself and face the real world ...mtchew
DeleteAnon 15.49, queen no go school, who dash her poly. I'm sure you are a newbie here
DeleteRide on jare Queen linda Eze
DeleteCalling her a polytechnic bitchbitch is an insult to people who actually attended polytechnic... This grade 6 drop out bitch....
DeletePoster one do you need Angel Gabriel to come down and tell you that guy does not want to marry you??? Na wa
ReplyDeletePoster 1
ReplyDeleteDon't marry him
He's a time waster
He's not into you
If he eventually marries you
You're gonna be frustrated
Borrow your self brain and run 🏃 now before it's too late.
Poster 2
Send him abroad if u have the cash 💰
He's not safe in naija
Cult matter no be moi moi
Lol @ the popcorn levo! Errrmmm, poster one, you already have the answers to your question. Leave dat nigga and get serious with who wants to be serious with you.
ReplyDeletePoster two, I dunno o. Wer all the male SDK blog readers at? * grabs a pack of stella's popcorn*
Please specify. Male cultists or ex-cultists. Not every male dey actively try shorten he lifespan
DeleteI can totally relate to both cases so ama just read comments.
ReplyDelete*side eyes* 😒
DeletePoster one let me just tell you what is happening. This is not speculation. Your boo or whatever he is to you is so over you..infact he has been for a long time. He does not love you anymore and does not see himself with you. Everything you do irritates him a great deal. So my dear stop looking at the years you have wasted and move on. If you dont, you will soon see his wedding invitation with another lady. Dude is gonna get married but he doesnt wanna be married to you.
ReplyDeletePoster two..your brother was really over pampered..i hope you get useful advice..i dont have any to give. Sorry
Exactly! Don't be surprised if you walk away from the relationship today, and in December you hear he is getting married to someone else.
DeleteTruth is, dude is ready to marry BUT not with you. Please move on and let him live his life...
I know you are concerned about the age factor and time spent on the relationship but I tell you it doesn't matter.
You will end up with someone who will love you more
Poster two why shouldn't the whole country be safe just because of cult?? We are talking about school cult people here not like its the Italian mafia biko. He should be taken out of that school and put into anothe private uni. Maybe a Catholic private uni. Something like that. And since he is a new intake he should be ok and get over it soon enough
ReplyDeleteCatholic private uni like Madonna? Rubbish talk, poster 2 better send him abroad if ur Mum has the means. Private uni are scams in naija.
DeletePrivate universities are scam in nija? Yet I graduated with a first class honours precisely from one ,, U must be stupid for saying that
DeleteEveryone is talking about sending him abroad... Their mum sold a land in order to raise money to send to the one that he is in....he should just be sent far away from were he is...away from them...that is if he doesn't join the ones wherever he s going to...
DeleteWhich yeye private uni. They are all scams in naija. Tufia!
DeletePoster 2
ReplyDeleteJust look at the way you blamed other people for what your brother turned into ?
Am so sorry for you and your family.
That young man should be held responsible for his action . Don't say he is easily influenced ....He wanted to join that path that was why he was influenced .
He is the only boy that's the reason you guys did not bring him up well .
Tell him the things he needs to know and the consequences.
Punish him if he goes wrong ....only son , only son you guys will be carrying him like egg .
I think he should renounce and change school , leave that school entirely.
I totally agree with you...the way Nigerians carry only son on their head disgusts me
DeletePoster1 leave the f--ker, he's nor serious and u will be in a miserable marriage if u continue.
ReplyDeletePoster2 I think he should go abroad because it's not safe here in naija for renounced cultists.
Poster1: You dont need help. You just need to end that "situationship".
ReplyDeletePoster 2:take it to God in prayers
1009 comment 2016
Poster 1 pls don't marry dt guy,it's obvious he has lost interest he has in u. U cld postpone d wedding if u don't want to break up completely. Also gv him some space,let him knw ur value. Na see finish dey do am. Gv him some space,stop calling him and his family let him stay on his own,if he likes let him explore den he wld knw how important u are to him. Don't force d wedding to hold,no body shld b married based on pity.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: I undastand ur brothers plight,he shld leave dt university as soon as possible. Stop school. Let him lay low for a year or more then send him to 1 of d west African universities if u can't afford uk or Yankee,he shld stay where u hv some relatives he can visit or live with. I hv experience with this type of thing,he was sent abroad and he suffered dere and was left with no other choice than to pick sense as he had to work hard to make it. Though he still has some resentment for d family for making him suffer and is a functional drug user now. But it saved him. So I agree with him stopping uni and traveling abroad when d dust settles.
Poster 2 , u guys are in a dicey situation. That's the reason parents should give their kids proper upbringing and guidance at young age. So that when they grow up they will never depart from it.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine d kind of peer or whatever pressure that will make me to even smoke cigarette, talk less of doing drugs, secret cults and others.
Maybe other ex cult members will give u better advice.
Wait o, you mean you don't do drugs and you spew all that poo from your mouth? My lawd!
DeleteOh boy shut up! You nor smoke kaja with me and pakororo two days ago?
DeletePoster one, pls save yourself, do not force a guy to marry u pls else u will send chronicles tire. The guy is not mentally mature for marriage, pls. If u were my sister, I would have told u to cancel, if he's serious he should show. Honestly I'm scared for u, d guy is immature.
ReplyDeletePoster 1,the handwriting is on the wall.If you can't read it,borrow eye glasses.
ReplyDeleteIt's not German but in plain English that you can decipher.
Poster 1. U have the answers already. Follow ur heart. That man isn't ready for it. Pls dnt get married to a man that doesn't want to marrry u. 5 years doesn't mean u must be together forever.
ReplyDeletePoster 1:there's nothing to think about. Cancel the wedding. Any man who says "I love you so much if you being with someone else would make you the happiest girl in the world I would understand" "Follow someone else" has absolutely no interest in a future with you.
ReplyDeleteI'm a man and I've said almost the exact sentence severally. If a man wants to commit to you, he'll do exactly like your boyfriends brother in law did and go all out.
Don't use your own hands to bury yourself
Poster one:
ReplyDeleteNa one chance you wan enter so o.
Please, try to make this chronicle your last, by reading the writing on the wall.
Poster two:
Either your brother is lying about not having killed anyone, or he's looking for an excuse to be sent abroad, and be wild without restrictions.
If a cultist has never killed anyone before, no one is going to specifically hunt for him, unless he's accidentally killed during a rival cult war.
James, don't mind me jor. I forgot that it was a new day, when I posted that comment early this morning.
I'm fine..lmao!
#WhiteDiamondOut
LOL @white diamond. Good to know you are alright.
DeleteI agree with u white diamond d boy is looking for excuses to travel abroad rotten brat
Deletep1 the writing is clearly on the wall. He doesn't want you anymore, he wants new P, when you people will be dating a man for over 5 years and think he will eventually marry you. Baby boo count your losses and move on. His actions match his words. The I love you na to confuse you. Drop him like its hot and move on 31 is not too old, you I'll meet someone new.
ReplyDeleteP2 once you enter cult he cannot leave even if he leaves the country they will still visit him in the dream. When they join they take an oat that only death can do him and the cult part. I dunno what's the next step, he should have left once the pressure was much than join and want to now run.
Hmmm, that is a very big lie. Which kind they will still visit him in his dream.I know a strong ex cultists who didn't travel out and renounced. he is now a pastor here in naija. Now He is always preaching to his friends that are still in cult and they haven't killed him.
DeleteStop commenting falsehood here.Who told you once he joins a cult in school, he cannot leave?
DeleteLol, he didn't join ogboni o! It's just a school cult so no bagger will visit him in any dream, take it from me. I know. He shud just change school, away from d state n he's good to go, change sim n be focused.
DeleteWhich mumu dream? Ode!
DeleteNaive advice! Did he join ogboni? Which till death? All these mumu advicers.
DeleteYou idiots that are wanking under my comment, you think cultism is just physical. Uni should stay dear make pant dey wear you. There are physical and spiritual connotation to joining a cult. If you run physically you cannot hide spiritually, they will come for you in your dreams, you will never have peace. Let your nor other run but when he starts having nightmares and screaming while sleeping then you will know what you are dealing with.
DeleteLol...I thought cult people could buy their way out wen they wanna turn over a new leaf...anyways...can't fully comment on that cause I heard it from someone
DeleteStella,you wicked o.why selling popcorn for those that came to read comments.you for still use small red pen nah any ways i won buy popcorn for comments. Lolz
ReplyDeleteFor the poster with the cultist brother. Don't be afraid. Most of these cult groups are overrated. He may only be in danger if he gets involved in a quarrel & becomes marked for a hit. Otherwise, if he threatens to tell the police & DSS about every single one of them, he's free. They won't even dare touch him. Except he still hangs out where they can easily pick him up alone. I tell you, trust me. They are mostly kids who are scared of the law. They only become deadly when there are cult wars? Here their egos become their drive. Your brother can renounce. Re-dedicate his life to meaniful things & be left completely alone .Trust me. I headed a deadly one for 2 years.
ReplyDeleteawww, Thank God for your life.
DeleteFor the poster with the cultist brother. Don't be afraid. Most of these cult groups are overrated. He may only be in danger if he gets involved in a quarrel & becomes marked for a hit. Otherwise, if he threatens to tell the police & DSS about every single one of them, he's free. They won't even dare touch him. Except he still hangs out where they can easily pick him up alone. I tell you, trust me. They are mostly kids who are scared of the law. They only become deadly when there are cult wars? Here their egos become their drive. Your brother can renounce. Re-dedicate his life to meaningful things & be left completely alone .Trust me. I headed a deadly one for 2 years.
ReplyDeleteChronicle 1
ReplyDeleteLeave that relationship. The signs are there but you are refusing to see it. He is going to make your life miserable and making you send worse chronicles in future..
Chronicle 2..
Sincr you guys know he was easily influenced and have the money for private school, you should have sent him to convernant University or any other strict University. Wherr movements are even limited.. I have 2 younger ones in private University. And one was as a result of him been easily influenced.. My mom saw the signs and knew if she sent him to federal University or any University that isn't strict, he will join bad gangs and all. Hence her decision. The other one is there not because of said reason Sha..
If you guys can, send him to school abroad. It's better because renouncing cultism in Nigeria doesn't go down well. They try so hard to see you are destroyed.. He won't even be able to continue in that school if he renounces. And then there are also cases where by he still says with them but gets killed by a different cult during clash and all.
If she can't send him abroad, send him to convernant, Madonna or any other strixt University. And he should never holiday in your place of residence.. During holidays send him some where else and always change locations for him without letting any one know..
I don't know why people will not stay of cultism.. Black bras and pink ladies do they still exist?? Those ones were just disturbing somebody those days.. Mtcheww
Did i forget to mention that my brother that is easily influenced is now very calm?? Infact, so calm we were shocked. All his stubborn attitude disappeared.. Now that's what a good private University does to your child..
DeleteGood private uni plenty for naija na that one them choose. 60% of people i know that have attended that school didn't come out the way they entered.
DeleteMothers in the house please buy 'fine boys' for your children especially those in secondary schools, this cultism is getting serious
ReplyDeletePoster 1 how much more time do you want to waste with this man? Please ask your self that simple question, I'm sure you will get the answers you need.
ReplyDeleteI tire the guy is a waster, I feel so sorry for the poster. Usain bolt from him, else the marriage is already dead on arrival. The guy is a frustrated soul. I just dey vex
DeletePoster 1 I have a question for you will you still marry this guy if he changes his mind tomorrow even after seeing the red flags flying? Plus are you blind to see this guys doesn't want to marry you? There isn't gonna be a wedding wake up madam coconut head. You are the kind of people that gets married by fire by force and come running here to post your chronicles. We have had enuf. Our hand don't tire to the type advice give una. I don't get it. Don't you people learn anytin in this blog?
ReplyDeleteSo poster one I see the foolishness in you ....but bia!! Ladies why do we keep wasting our time on useless men. A musician even said "you can't change a man",but still some ladies will know time is not on their side(don't let anybody deceive you that you are young at 30,your ovaries aren't young at that age) and still wait for a silly grown baby that calls himself a man...see ehn poster one if you like don't leave him and look for another good man..Mtchew
ReplyDeleteposter 1: You already know what everyone will tell you... u only need confirmation. So Dearie.... let me confirm it, Pls don't marry him until u are sure he still wants marriage. My only regret is u have spent the better part of your years with him and moving on can be kind of hard. But it is better to be late than to be sorry.
ReplyDeleteChisom she's 31...let her go ahead.where will she starts from at over 30.....
DeleteAnon because she's 31 she should remain in this kind of relationship? Life does not end at 30. 55years sef they marry brand new man
DeleteLike Lee boo will say love comes easy. You don't have to struggle,fight,argue or even try to force it. It just happens.
ReplyDeleteLike Lee boo will say love comes easy. You don't have to struggle,fight,argue or even try to force it. It just happens.
ReplyDeleteTanks dear,Ur words gave answers to a question of ages
DeletePoster one. No marriage anywhere in sight. Move on and move on faster than you can image. That guy not gonna wife you.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: I didn't bother to read your story. Cultism ? Face it.
Poster 1. Marry him if you are looking forward to a lifetime of misery.
ReplyDeletePoster 2. For some reason, I think your brother just wants to go abroad. Loll.
You can change his school, country even planet, but until you address the fundamental issues that cause him to behave this way, I'm afraid your brother may always be on the other side of the law.
POSTER ONE:
ReplyDeleteTHIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A MAN IS RECEIVING SEX. Though you did not mention that but tell yourself the truth; since this man is receiving sex, as in has access to your vagina at will, why should he be in a hurry to marry you of all people?
MEN WANT SEX, LADIES WANT MARRIAGE AND KIDS. RESERVE SEX TILL MARRIAGE AND HAVE PEACE.
Present twice...
ReplyDeleteIm answering present here cos of poster 2, Stella why do choose to sell popcorn over a matter like this? If na relationship/nyash matter now u go sign red pen. When serious issues come u sell popcorn. Diaris God ooo. To de matter, u cant be a confirmed cult member & in their secret coup if u never offd anybody except u are very rich and they keep u as a financier. He is a killer and he is afraid cos the opposition knows he was responsible for a certain spoil. @de same time he might not even b a cultist. He might b trying to exploit ur love for him so he can travel out. My advice if u ppl can confirm his story take him to covenant Uni or any serious pvt Uni nothing will happen to him if u can afford send him abroad.
Stella and her dry guguru again?
ReplyDeleteAm here to commend the comment page outlook.
ReplyDeleteMe likey
Poster 2 your brother is spoilt. I bet he is not doing well academically and can no longer cope. Sending him abroad when he has not matured or learnt his lessons would be an additional waste of money. All you are helping him do is run away when he should confront his problems.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm. #just passing by
ReplyDeleteMe too, but that poster one's boyfriend is annoyingly frustrated. Poster let him go and let God heal you.
DeletePst 1,it seems you are forcing your self on the man,a man that wants you will make plenty efforts to keep you.
ReplyDeletePst2,nooooo comment
Poster 2:
ReplyDeleteI'd share a friend's experience with cultist for you to learn from:
This particular lady was threatened with "mass gang rape" and murder if she does not give these cult boys money and sex; not even date one of them (she is from the kind of family that everything is made). She quickly reported to her dad who detailed escorts for her at school but soon one of the escort was killed by the cultist on duty at the girl's cozy apartment. They had broken in and showed her an example of their threat; "three boys gang rape" and they took all cash and valuables. They told her that if they came again and met another escort, that would be her end; "gang rape and death". One of the cult boys was later arrested but released due to their own "connections". She saw for the first time in her life that money would not save her from the claws of the lions. Her course mate who had for long told her the gospel began to notice that the bubbly lady was becoming withdrawn and got closer and she spilled. That was when she accepted Christ and became a changed soul. She told her dad that she did not need escorts anymore. Both ladies lived together in a less cozy apartment and prayed for 2 hours every midnight and studied the scriptures. The next time she met the "cult boys"; she told them that she had become a Christian and actually witnessed to them. To her surprise, they did not threaten her like before. She was also surprised at her boldness. 4 weeks on; there was a secret police network with the students union and there was a sweep of the campus and all those cultists were rounded up and put behind bars. Their "connections" could not work; the students had just gotten fed up with them and began to pick them one by one and give to the secret police. They stayed in jail till these ladies graduated.
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. (James five vs. sixteen)
Poster1 why are you wasting your time at age 31? My dear you need a "CHANGE "
ReplyDeleteA fast one I tell you.
DeletePoster two:
ReplyDeleteI used to be a cultists too(maph) and a high ranking member also( prof) but along the line I decided to renounce. Now, wouldn't say it was easy but your brother needs to cut off from his clique of friends, if possible get a new apartment and above all he has to blend into a church seriously!! With these few steps, even the members would begin to suspect that he has joined a church and they would take it slow with him. As for his life I repeat nobody would kill him for renouncing but he should be prepared for some serious embarrassment and some beatings.. I hope this helps
Poster 1: Hi Naomi.........i am so happy for you that you are sending this out while single.
ReplyDeleteYou are special before God, so why let a man mess you up.
This man has commitment-phobia, he has an agenda which spells doom for you, he is domineering and controlling, he is definitely going to ruin you through abuse and worse, he has seen you and your family finish, he plans to make you a Nigerian wife when he goes abroad (he intends marrying a foreigner for papers and stability), he is a man who is not meant for you and absolutely LOVES YOU NOT.
Do not make the terrible mistake of thinking you can manage the worst......... this type will push and push, they will poke and poke.....till you feel so useless, the kind of life he will have you living.....Is you existing because death hasn't met you yet......weak and eternally suicidal wandering through living for someone to pull you out.
A man shouted at your brothers, warned you not to make plans, has no futuristic plan about you guys and lacks priorities when it comes to you. He will stretch your years on this useless relationship and burn you out to settle for anything later on.
I bet this dude probably has a statue in his room inspired by your desperation which he salutes every morning and tells himself..... I get better mumu.
You are 31 not a skeleton.......do not marry this guy please. SOCIETY DON'T CARE. Do not allow flawed people fighting their own demons and, their loud opinion make you grab a life of pain, drama, depression and premature death.
Poster 2: Just Wow..... I feel bad for everyone of you. Thank God he was able to open up to you guys, you really are the caring type.
Thankfully, he said he hasn't killed or robbed.......no fear of deadly repercussions later. However that will be in the future, deal with the problems of the present.
Cultism is an expensive association. It hurts the members and even their families sometimes.
Your brother has to leave immediately, out of that house, that state even. Do not bother sending him to any public university in Nigeria.....they operate as an organized network and will finish him off. Overly strict schools like Convenant, Landmark University will help......Infiltration of cultism is less there, he would have to keep an extremely low profile and never return for vacation......Matriculations and convocations are events he will never attend not even his.
Better Still, if the money is there, send him abroad. But pls, get him out of the house. You guys can put up a story of a terrible sickness inflicting him,some noise about deliverance and sending him to a non-existent village for traditional care so his former coursemates and friends can hear and leak out.
Your family may have to relocate too. If they find and don't get him, they will come find his family. It would take at least 10 years for this to die down.
The ultimate solution is God....... pray,pray, pray,.....all of you. Take this problem to God. He will make a way for sure. Peace!
Poster 1: Hi Naomi.........i am so happy for you that you are sending this out while single.
ReplyDeleteYou are special before God, so why let a man mess you up.
This man has commitment-phobia, he has an agenda which spells doom for you, he is domineering and controlling, he is definitely going to ruin you through abuse and worse, he has seen you and your family finish, he plans to make you a Nigerian wife when he goes abroad (he intends marrying a foreigner for papers and stability), he is a man who is not meant for you and absolutely LOVES YOU NOT.
Do not make the terrible mistake of thinking you can manage the worst......... this type will push and push, they will poke and poke.....till you feel so useless, the kind of life he will have you living.....Is you existing because death hasn't met you yet......weak and eternally suicidal wandering through living for someone to pull you out.
A man shouted at your brothers, warned you not to make plans, has no futuristic plan about you guys and lacks priorities when it comes to you. He will stretch your years on this useless relationship and burn you out to settle for anything later on.
I bet this dude probably has a statue in his room inspired by your desperation which he salutes every morning and tells himself..... I get better mumu.
You are 31 not a skeleton.......do not marry this guy please. SOCIETY DON'T CARE. Do not allow flawed people fighting their own demons and, their loud opinion make you grab a life of pain, drama, depression and premature death.
Poster 2: Just Wow..... I feel bad for everyone of you. Thank God he was able to open up to you guys, you really are the caring type.
Thankfully, he said he hasn't killed or robbed.......no fear of deadly repercussions later. However that will be in the future, deal with the problems of the present.
Cultism is an expensive association. It hurts the members and even their families sometimes.
Your brother has to leave immediately, out of that house, that state even. Do not bother sending him to any public university in Nigeria.....they operate as an organized network and will finish him off. Overly strict schools like Convenant, Landmark University will help......Infiltration of cultism is less there, he would have to keep an extremely low profile and never return for vacation......Matriculations and convocations are events he will never attend not even his.
Better Still, if the money is there, send him abroad. But pls, get him out of the house. You guys can put up a story of a terrible sickness inflicting him,some noise about deliverance and sending him to a non-existent village for traditional care so his former coursemates and friends can hear and leak out.
Your family may have to relocate too. If they find and don't get him, they will come find his family. It would take at least 10 years for this to die down.
The ultimate solution is God....... pray,pray, pray,.....all of you. Take this problem to God. He will make a way for sure. Peace!
Poster 1 receive sense & move on.The guy have already made up his mind not to wife u,so move on with speed..
ReplyDeletePoster 2 you pple should send him abroad to continue his schooling..
Good luck to him.
@poster 1, must u force yourdelf on him, please take a bow from this relationship and God will send you the right man in no distant time. @poster 2 Take the boy to prophet TB Joshua and he will be delivered and nothing will happen to him. I have seen Many who renounced cultism there and their lives were back to normal
ReplyDeletePoster 1: U know that this dude no longer wants u but u choose 2 be with him & hope things change later. Believe me u are in 4 a long ride dats got no end. Today is early enough 4 u to pick urself up & bolt. Poster 2:Ur broda is so safe. First of all is whether he's ready 2 put on a good leaf? Then since d dude is scared 2 his pants,psychologically he will surely play into their hands & mess himself up d more. U guys should put him in any of the private missionary schools like Covenant,madonna etc. He won't have d luxury of mixing with such crack heads. His current school Igbinedion is a private Uni without much influence over students conduct due 2 parental affluence.
ReplyDeletePls u ppl saying that the parents didn't train the boy well dts why he joined cult may God forgive U for judging what u aren't sure. My mother trained all of us well, we are all married and doing well in our own right but out of all of us dere was 1 who strayed very badly. So my mother didn't train dt 1 out of all of us well or what. Some ppl are easily influenced especially in deir teens and boys for dt matter. Pls it takes d grace of God for a mother to train boys thru deir teens. My brother is saved now but only God knows what was his turning pt. my mother prayed for him very well.
ReplyDeletePoster 1: This 32 year old man obviously had other " enormous" plans which clearly does not include you. If i were you, I'll take a very long walk and never look back. What are you waiting for ? Clearly, he wants more in a wife than he currently sees in you. He is a very wicked man and I can guarantee you; if this marriage happens u will live a very sad life. I'm sure you have other man who are interested in you. And
ReplyDeleteIf you don't have. Begin to go market in search of your own happiness
Nice write up. Poster please leave this bitter wicked boyfriend. I just dey vex for this naughty unserious boyfriend
DeleteSelf worth gone poster 1desperate gwegs this is karma most likely how you resent guys at your young age
ReplyDeletePoster 1- you do NOT need a magic ball to show you that he no longer likes you and won't marry you.
ReplyDeleteHe has given you hints, directly told you, given you the cold shoulder, abused you but you are still desperately holding on.
It's never going to get better, hard truth he is never going to love you
God is helping you and showing you the way out but you are holding on tightly to doom.
Woman go back to the drawing board, God will give you your man who will be fighting to keep you not the other way round.
I don't have any advice for both posters, but I have a question for those who say "look for another man". Please which market or where should she look for? I'm not saying she should stay, but the way we are advising her to look for another man, it's as if her whole existence should revolve around a man. Self love is the best advice I can give anybody in an abusive relationship. Yes! This is an abusive relationship
ReplyDeleteonly been pushed by u and his family member.If he marry u with dis his current state of mind u wil live in regrets bcos he cannot love,respect or commit to u.@ 31 u can still get a decent man who is ready to be commtted.If possible stay away from him cut off any means of communication so dat he can be left alone to think very well perhaps he wil come beggin if he really love u and if not so be it move on with ur life.Marriage is not a thing to manage and endure.Goodluck Sis!
ReplyDeleteposter 1, why force a guy to marry you? Is he the only man in this world. Abeg free am,marriage is not by force. At 32yrs, he is still living in his father's house....choi
ReplyDeletePoster One: Please leave that guy right now, without looking back, and I promise you that it will be the best decision of your life.
ReplyDeletePoster Two: Withdraw your brother from that school, let him write Jamb again and this time send him to Covenant University, they are very strict there and he will grow spiritually, sending him abroad will only turn him into a drug user and a criminal since he's easily influenced.
#1: My darling, you already know the right thing to do but I guess, like most ladies who find themselves stuck in relationships that has dragged on for years, you feel obliged to make it work so the years spent with him will not be wasted. This guy is ready to get married but not to you. OUCH! I know, my love, but that's the truth. A guy like this would break up with you today and still get married to someone else, probably before the same month of December.
ReplyDeleteOne of the disadvantages of dating for a long time is the spark usually wears out and the one partner gets attracted to someone shiny and new. There's a delicate balance in the duration of courtship, it shouldn't be too long and it shouldn't be too short. 5 years is certainly too long especially when he seems irritated at the idea of spending the rest of his life with you. I can't believe you guys actually set a date for your wedding? Haven't you suffered enough emotionally? Why on earth would you labour to drive a square peg into a round hole? Even if you succeed, it will look awkward!
Don't you want a man who will be so into you that he can barely last a couple of days without seeing you or hearing your voice? It's not inspired by fairytales, it can be your reality if you wait for the right man. Since both families seem involved already, the marriage can still take place but, my darling, you may be winning the battle but invariably losing the war. After the horrors of hell, and a parent having to bury a child, marrying the wrong partner comes 3rd on the list.
The guy has practically told you to move on, why not honour his wishes which will be in your best interest? You've been with a guy for 5 years and dude starts the "I love you enough to let you go if being with someone else will make you happy" crappy speach? Sweetie, that's a valedictory speech. It is an emotional send forth. His cowardice wouldn't allow him man up and tell you to your face that the relationship is over, maybe he feels guilty for the years you spent with him. He's dropping hints, praying you see the writings on the wall and end the relationship yourself. He doesn't want it to come from him.
Please, sweetheart, please, let him go! You can't force a man to feel what he doesn't feel anymore. You will end up miserable and regret marrying him all the days of your life. While still married to him, you may now see the right man for you but it would be too late for any honourable relationship. You think he treats you like trash now? Wait till you become his wife. His resentment can even make him physically abusive. Don't go ahead because you're 31 years. Would you rather marry at 31 and get divorced at 33? Wouldn't you rather wait for the right guy, even if he comes when you are 35 year old and you get to spend the rest of your mortal lives together? I pray God grants you the grace to do the right thing because I know it will be a herculean task because you love him. Sweetie, you have to love you more.
#e-bearhugs.
@Ronalda, I must say you are a very intelligent and wise woman.
DeleteI read your response to one bitter divorced woman yesterday, dat said that it is wrong for women to be submissive to their husbands. And I was pleasantly impressed by your write up.
I love intelligent people. But you are married already. I pray dat our paths cross early in our next life.
I love ur comment, tho u sound so much like yu re speaking. From experience....wow..nice 1,dear..i hope u cn learn from diz poster.1..free d. guy,free d family(none of dem)will move in wif u.inshort go out n ve fun,n dey cn giv false hope
DeleteNo matter how much dey cn control deir son,dey cnt control his love 4 u.n how he will treat u,n dts above it all..dats hw u cn ve peace.
DeletePoster 1 here is my advice for you 5 yrs is a long way don't waste it like that ....ur guy has issues with commitment which often is seen in some guys ... What I will like you to do is to get a fake boyfriend flaunt him , be all cozy with him anytime you know dat you will bump into him make your guy jealous, I bet you with this little space you gave him he will realize how precious n good you are n he will run back to you .but before you do this make sure his family is aware so they will b doing the right talking when he is mad seeing you with another man.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 don't b scared I hv a cousin dat just had the same experience he ran back from school to my house cos we stay closer he told my sister about it my sis just laughed n told him he will go back to that school n right his wrongs .... First you will dissociate your self from those cultist friends second you will b a member of a church nfcs n he will b an active member .... Thirdly he will only b seen in church n school n his house ..... After telling him these things my sis had to go to their school she told the reverend father what the cousin is passing through n how she wants him to b active in church ... N that settled it ..anytime he is not in church the members will host a meeting in his house the reverend father made such he gave him an active post that keeps him busy from thinking, that cult group Neva border him again
Poster 2, your brother has not told you guys the truth. What made him confess? Was he repentant or he was indirectly trying to get you guys to send him abroad? If he hasn't killed before, why is he so afraid? It's either he has messed up academically and know he won't graduate anytime soon so doesn't want to continue or he knows a rival cult is after him for killing their member. Sending him abroad will be like rewarding him for blowing all the money your mother suffered to raise to send him to school. Let him go and get a menial job if he refuses to go back to school. He needs to grow up and be responsible for his actions. Are you even sure he was a student and didn't just blow the money posing as one?
ReplyDeleteIf he has genuinely changed or wants to change, he needs to join one of those serious fellowships in school like scripture Union fellowship. If they see he has given his life to Christ and is serious, they will leave him alone. He also has to change his friends and avoid hanging out where he used to or living a life that will make them feel he is not a true born again and can still be swayed to remain a member.
Poster1:you are to desperate,haba!All relationships musnt end in marriage Na...I'm sure in loving your 'boo',you stopped loving yourself and trust me,you can't give what you don't have...Do you have a good job?Are you beautiful?fun?spontaneous? Abi in the bid to tie him down, you turned to 'iya basira'?what changed??cos no sane man would just wake up and be yelling up and down except he is bipolar... My advice:Take out time,love yourself ignore him totally,explore new things,DO NOT BRING UP MARRAIGE TALKS,in fact don't call him often..post fun pictures on SM that he can see,let him see you living life without him,make him want you,don't kill yourself cos of a man..my God!!
ReplyDeletePoster2:abeg don't mind all these people telling you scary movie ooo!!which Kain yeye abroad??what stupid hunting??do you guys know what a cult is??if your brother really joined a cult,a real cult ooo,he won't even have the mouth to tell you guys!!WTF is mafia??mscheeew!!Don't fly him to any yeye abroad ooo,let him just change school... Shikena!!In fact,for a year,let him stay at home..no more pampering,it's possible he wasn't mentally ready to go to school and you guys forced him!!And you now sent him to BIU(I guess),yeye!!Abeg forget all these cult talks jare,nothing will happen....Just ensure you put him in a school where he would have close supervision and monitoring!!
PS:I dated a cultist, he was even the 'iroko'(didn't know before we started dating) but I couldn't leave him either,his D was the bomb and he is soooooo intelligent, charming!! When he came to see me in school, you need to see 'disciples'that came for mentoring, when he was sick nko??see crowd for hospital....after all the 'serenren' bobo no be cultist again, he is even a lawyer in Lagos,earning his pay and nobody is disturbing anybody!! All these small small cult ish ends in school there...who has time to be chasing your lily-livered brother??shiooooor!!
Poster 1, he has lost interest in you. He is 32 you are 31 you said right? He is going to marry some1 in her 20s.. Write this down.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 send him to school in Ghana, and let him stay there after graduation for a few years. He can come back when its deem safe.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, he doesn't want to marry you, don't force yourself on him. He wants to be able to marry someone abroad without any hindrance, hope whoever he marries for papers show him pepper. Start making plans of your own, its a shame he wasted your time, but better now than later.
Poster 2,sending your brother abroad isn't the solution. You brother's character is flawed and sending someone out of Nigeria isn't the solution. It worsens it.who told you there r no cults abroad for him to join?there r n they are called gangs.he MIT join, do drugs and every other atrocity and in the end go to jail.you ppl should help your brother address his character issues,why does he want to blend?is he insecure? Etc.the good news is your brother can renounce cultism. I knw smone that joined one of the deadliest cults in sch.he renounced,got serious with God,changed friends etc.he has graduated n nothing happened to him.cultists r really fearful ppl,when the see your brother is changed in words and deed,they won't harm him.but most of all,your brother should Mk peace with his maker.
ReplyDeletePoster 1,I feel sad for you really.i am sure you'd end up marrying him because its not easy walking away from a.long term relationship. His attitude didn't start today.why did you put up with it for so long?my dear,better talk to ursekf,gather the strength and walk away.it would hurt but in the long run you will be glad u did.this guy doesn't live you.if you Mk the fatal mistake of ending up with him,he will blame you for anything that ever goes wrong in his life.so I beg you sister,WALK AWAY.
Poster 2 your brother is lying to you. It's a plot for you to send him abroad. I have a friend that planned his own kidnap just to hustle money from his parents. If the cultists bother him so much, I suggest you take him to a village to learn to be a mechanic or vulcanizer. The cultists won't even see him there.
ReplyDeletePoster 1... Pls leave that man simple!
P1:I just ended a 4 yr relationship with my guy,Dats an ex now,it's bn hard & have bn asking if I did d right thing but I know I did.And today a guy I dated sometime in 08 sent me a message 2dy he wants 2 date me again n yes we ve known 4 a longtime n am going 2 give him a chance cus I want health n also move on 4rm wat eva hurt I feel.Am not saying u do dsam,everyone has a way of healing n pls explain 2 his family n tell dem u have 2 move on.U ai the getting any younger,plus making babies dis days aint easy.Throw his ass away,not easy bt doable.A person who luvs wud not insult u n dats wat my ex guy did yesterday n it was his first time insulting me bt didt leave him cus of his insults,I wasn't sure I wanted to go ahead with him,I knew I wud cry thru out my marriage n kip going to prayer housed if I end up with him bt d insult just gave me a push 2 take action.Do dsam,a broken relationship is better dan a broken marriage.
ReplyDeleteP2,u guys shud take ur bro in2 hiding n away 4rm dat vicinity 4 like a yr or more n let him start skooling somwer else bt he shud try putting his head down if not,u guys wud b mourning his ass.he shud ditch his old line and frnds,once dey cnt kip in touch with him,dey wud move on bt u ppl shud also brave up 4 d worse cus dey wud treaten ur mother,u so dat he can come out of hiding.Dey wud do it 4 weeks even months bt tell ur bro on no condition shud he come out or u all shud go in2 hiding 2geda cus it's going 2 really b scary I bet u.God help u all survive this.Amen
My dear poster 1. Don't let emotions cloud your judgement. I understand that the years and time you have invested in this relationship is the major reason you refuse to see the truth for what it is. Search your heart deeply, this guy doesn't deserve you. Believe me you will find love again. Pray and ask God to give you the strength to do what is right by exiting this
ReplyDeletetoxic relationship. Take time to heal emotionally, learn to love your self. 31 isn't too old. You will find love and when you do you won't have any doubts in your heart.
I feel for your brother poster 2. Send me an email let's talk about him
ReplyDeleteDear Poster 1, you already know what to do. Don't marry that guy, infact break up with him now. Also don't let anyone make you do otherwise, cos when you start suffering na only one go carry the burden. It's obvious he doesn't love and is doing everything to get rid of you. Respect yourself and leave him.
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