Hmmmm!!!..This is bad meeeehn!!
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
...WHEN MARITAL LOVE MAKING FEELS LIKE RAPE
Stella, I sent a chronicle to you sometime ago about wanting to leave
my wife because of the fertility issue we've been experiencing since
three years after we got married.
The development is that my wife is frustrating me with sex. She makes sure she leaves the bed to me to sleep on the floor,on the excuse that it is more comfortable on the floor than her sweating on the bed.
For a lady trying to conceive,I can only conclude that she has either
lost interest in conceiving or simply wants to frustrate me because
she makes sure I do not come in contact with her naked body in the
bedroom.
I can't remember the last time she initiated sex. I practically have
to beg her for sex each time I feel in the mood. There is no romance.
Kissing her has been a no-no for her.
Yet, once outside the bedroom, and in the full glare of people, she's
all lovey-dovey. Even the kiss she evades in the bedroom is all honey
and sugar to her if she suspects that someone is watching. Is that not
the height of hypocrisy?
Who is fooling who?
By the way, she was once a lesbian. She told me she went full time
into it when a guy broke her heart after impregnanting her and forcing
her to abort the foetus. I don't know whether she detests sex with me
because of her lesbian nature...yet, she pretends to feel bad seeing
her period every other month When she's the one avoiding having sex
with me and I practically have to force her for sex, how on earth does
she want to conceive?
By miracle?
WOW,this is serious oh!!!..I dont even know what to say!
...........................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
UNDER PRESSURE TO MARRY
*Your are also not helping matters by encouraging her to go for this arrangement oh...will you still be there when the problems with AS +AS Children begin to haunt her?that guy assuring her now might not stand by her when she has to nurse sick babies....THE MEN MOSTLY LEAVE THE WOMEN ALONE AND TAKE OFF.
From what i have heard and seen,i will never advise anyone to take such risk.let her be patient with waiting on GOD please.
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
UNDER PRESSURE TO MARRY
Hello Stella,
First of all, I want to say you are wonderful and God's blessings upon your life will continue to multiply.
So here's a quick one. This search for solution is for my friend. I am married with 2 kids, so you can imagine the kind of mild pressure this lady may be facing from family and friends asking her when they will collect her aso-ebi.
She ended a bad relationship last year and had been taking her time.
Now, she re-united with an old friend who had always been interested in her, thankfully she's also interested. However, the issue now is they are both AS. The guy is of the opinion that there medical ways around it, but she's too scared to commit. I don't know o but I feel she shouldnt throw away her happiness if there's a way it can be managed when babies come.
Stella (will appreciate your red pen please) and fellow BV's, please please, I need your advice. What do you think she should do? Back out or let Love prevail as she has said if not for this issue, this is the one she would like to settle with.
Thanks
*Your are also not helping matters by encouraging her to go for this arrangement oh...will you still be there when the problems with AS +AS Children begin to haunt her?that guy assuring her now might not stand by her when she has to nurse sick babies....THE MEN MOSTLY LEAVE THE WOMEN ALONE AND TAKE OFF.
From what i have heard and seen,i will never advise anyone to take such risk.let her be patient with waiting on GOD please.
Brb
ReplyDeleteGod will fix it
DeleteAre white garment churches fetish, please? and why do they drink honey, salt, and water when fasting?...
DeleteP2 a lot of people will tell u dont,truth is u might and not find anoda bae soon. Life itself is a risk/ probability. If u av d mony to carry out test as suggested to determine d genotype b4 birth pls go ahead.
DeleteLife itself is not fair.
I miss d bad girl I never was. At 3? Age is notin but number. Notin to show no bae no kids,no watevr. My achievement na series of break-up. Not depressed jst sad as how my life has turned out. Even as a young girl,av always dreamt of getting married and having kids. Oh yes av tot of having a child or 2. But ow, with who?as marriage no dey in sight and age is running out.i shouldn't loose both ways. Am tired of prayers left and right.african mentality. Have not given up hope of meeting dat prince charming. One day sha
At 30 something, you are still typing like a teenager and you want to get married. Work on your reasoning and you will surely meet the right matured man. Age is a number but maturity is Bae.
DeleteAdopt a child and move on with your life
DeleteWait on God, my sister.God can still attend to your need at any age. All you need to do is just keep holding on. You know sometimes in life, we tend to drift away from God and begin to do things on our own believing that we are now in a modern world, African mentality, bla bla bla. Don't forget who you are in Christ, just make out time and study the word of God and ask the holy spirit to teach you how to have communion with God.
DeleteIn no time, you will begin to experience peace, followed by uncommon miracles. Keep the faith, it is well.
Poster one, you need to see a sex therapist with your wife.
DeleteYou can make sex interesting and fun, if she likes girls, fine, there's nothing wrong with it. You can arrange for a threesome, (girl on girl act enhances some women's sexual life).
However, you must discuss openly and honestly with your wife, free from judgement and condemnation.
Ask her what she likes, open your mind, explore all the options, trust me it's fun. I wish you all the best.
Brb
ReplyDeleteNarrative 1, have a heart to heart talk with your wife on this and tell her exactly how her abstinence makes you feel.
DeleteNarrative 2, no no no! You and your friend sound desperate. Marriage is not a race or competition. Let her wait for an AA man who loves her.
preciouscore.com
Hmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmm
Delete*takes deep breath*
Poster1: I so much which we cud swap positions. As in ehhhh,it's been 2yrs since my husband had sex wit me. His intrest for sex is gone. D world knows he's a bookworm. Y misplace career wit conjugal rights. Its sooooo anoyin wen wat u desire cannot be achieved.
Pls do not bring up d lesbo past again nor rob it in her face.
80% of women ve tendencies of being turned on by her fellow woman for different causes/reasons. Same number for d married women. We r married, long for kids n ve them, enjoy sex wit our men but still doesn't make us strait. We ve d tendencies to be bi-sexuals.
A childhood friend of mine had dis issue. The wife only sees sex for procreation. He offered me to set her up wich I declined. He loves lesbo too. So he set his wife up and she fell. From d day he caught d babe, their sex lives ve been awesome.
*not saying u shud do it ooo
But pls find wat wifey likes, a good treat, if she enjoys redwine n music, have it n get her to tell u d exact way she loves being touched.
Not all men who r very good in bed know how to touch us d right way we desire.
She also wants a baby. So long she doesn't want a breakup, Pls Pls Pls be ve patience wit her dear.
And pray abi it.
God bless you.
DeleteAnnon 15:34
DeleteSay YOU are always turned on by your fellow women and not 80% of women bla bla bla... if I hear say my fellow woman touch me... taaaaaah!!!
If being a lesbian is right, why did you marry in the first place? Please speak for yourself. Rubbish!!!
Poster 1 - if not because you mentioned that she still kisses and does loveydovey in public I would have said she is not into you anymore. Maybe you are making her feel like you must sleep with her because u want a baby. Why not just try loving in different ways for some months. She will be d one coming onto you for sex. Also you may try checking into a resort or hotel. Maybe she truly feels hot and sweaty at home therefore cranky. Loving you in public also shows that she feels insecure when other ladies look at you which is normal cos well you are desperate for a baby and she is yet to get pregnant so you may be looking out. Just discuss with her sha and spoil her a little, ok?
DeletePoster 2 - pls advice your friend not to marry amd AS man except if they do not wish to have kids and that means the man must love her enough to have only her in his home (no kids) for the rest of his life
Poster1: u are married to yourself. Your wife need deliverance.
ReplyDeletePoster2: read old post on genotype issue.
Repeat
ReplyDeletePoster 1: u guys ve no strong challenges. Deep dialogue is d approach u need to apply.
DeletePoster2: I posted my Chronicles of Hope but I will NOT encourage her nor advice her to marry a fellow Carrier most especially bcos it's not her 'faith'carrying her but ur concern for her single status.
If her faith can't carry her ona good day,not even d best medical inventions wud work in her favor.
(dts how I see it).
It's not abt age or peers or pressure. She shud ve patience and wait.
It's a different thing if they were already married or pregnant. (Make she no go get bele ooo).
"The cold water wey pikin baff imsef no dey cold am, na d one person pour on am na im go cold am".
Posters no.1
DeleteNa charm she carry hold you? She has done abortion, she was/is a lesbian, she is barren, the sex and romance is zero...and u never waka. I suspect she's the breadwinner but if she isn't your Brian is as useless as the 'p' in psychology.
Ifeanyi, be mindful of the words u choose. No woman is barren!!! U're not God!!! U as well might be sterile. Ethiopia Enoch!!!
DeleteGod has not call her barren even her husband has not call her barren so why call her barren Ifeanyi.
DeleteGuy, you no try.
DeletePoster one all you need is prayers o. Call family meeting and explain to her people.
ReplyDeletePoster 1:you are on a long thing. Pray ur wife changes.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: don't go further since u both are As, the problem that it carries in the future is not here.
Poster 1
ReplyDeleteI remember your stupid fertility story where you were bashed on here because we asked you what you would have done if it were the other way round. You are back again abi?
Now she was formerly a Lesbian and had an abortion? Why didn't you include that in your 1st watery narrative? You want this one to carry weight so we'd shift the blame to wifey, abi? Continue! Is it that your wife doesn't read this blog? We need to read her right of reply. Because I don't trust you. Your sperm might be the problem.
Poster 2
Stop blabbing mbok!
Don't mind the douchebag
DeleteHe wants to garner support from homophobic peeps hence had to send in ds nonsense
God bless you .Gbam!!!
DeleteYou are intelligent......chop kiss
DeleteI kinda agree with you. Dear Poster 1, Pls u shud trash it with wifey with a good/different approach.
DeletePoster 2, y give ur friend the Nod, No way oh.
Poster 1
ReplyDeleteAsides thinking and trying to figure out what her reason(s) might be, have you asked her??? Who know, It just might be you, you might be the reason she doesn't want to have sex with you. Look for a way to talk about it.
Poster 2
Yea, there are medical ways around it and some people actually get lucky but the stress it comes with is not something I'll wish on anyone..let her think deeply and weigh this carefully.
Oga your wife is simply not into you anymore. I don't see why a woman TTC will be running away from her husband. Or did you do something to her that you didn't tell us? Perhaps she's still into her old way of life (lesbianism).
ReplyDeletePoster 1,
ReplyDeleteTruth is most women are bisexual....even those that pretend they are not most succumb when a woman touches them...
I'm talking from experience!...
Back to your story,your wife's spiritual husband is seriously disturbing her...
Yes,it's always advisable to go for a delivernce with your woman before walking down the aisle...
She need to be delivered mehn...
Poster 2,
You are a wicked somebody oh!...
How can you advise your friend to marry an AS?...you are evil mehn!...
Gbam
Delete@queen y do u keep whining about most ladies being bisexual. Deep within they all know it bt most of them would still come on here and pretend,some would even bind and cast d devil...who's fooling who?...such tripe
Delete1 of d lesbies has been BUSTED ! Kikikikiki
DeleteMany ladies are single becos of genotype. Many have decided to risk it to avoid the gwegwegwe tag that you and many Others here use on fellow women.
DeleteRolling my eyes! Since you have lesbianism tendencies, do not assume all females are like you. Has anyone thought of the fact that she could have imbalances in her hormones? Do you know that some women are presently experiencing serious emotional traumas that they cannot stand the touch of even their husbands. Please, life is not complicated. The poster should please go with his wife for a thorough medical check up. Even the man should do the same. He may just be filled with blank bullets!
DeleteMehnnn... queen and bosss, this is d first time u r making sense on this blog!
DeleteMost women bisexual?????huh?? I'm a woman o. Well people are different.
Delete80 percent of women are bisexual Ke? Abeg u carry out this research? The questionnaire no reach my area oo.
DeleteI wonder the statistics you used to know that 80% of women are bisexual...have you tasted ALL.
DeleteThe fact that your a 'HO' doesn't make anoda a HO
Am guessing yre the Head of lesbians in this blog
Idiot
Hmmmm! Men self. May God help u all to see solutions here.
ReplyDeleteChronicles.....yeeah!
ReplyDeleteLunch break on..
Oha soup n semo on point!!!
@ poster 2, please do not advice your friend just tell her to follow her Heart because in the end she might turn against you for the 'advice'
DeleteLet her follow her heart.
Sometimes nature leaves us helpless, she doesn't have control of her genotype but she has control on whom she wants to Love. In my own opinon, let her NOT marry the man.
Love hurts but she will survive.
You've just made a point I didn't even think about
DeleteNice one
Poster 1
ReplyDeleteYour wife has gone back in her old ways
Poster 2
LET HER NOT MARRY THAT GUY OH.....
to
DeleteBefore they munch my comment lol 😁
Poster 2 - There is indeed a medical way around it but its not helpful. It a screening tends to detect the genotype of the foetus. My sister inlaw married is AS and married an SS. They have a little girl who is not SS . Despite being very comfortable in the UK, they can only afford to have one child as the procedure is expensive. Is your friend ready for that?
ReplyDeleteExpensive? Are u sure?
DeleteAre sure? Like seriously? This form of advanced fetal Diagnosis isn't readIly available in Nigeria
DeletePoster two biko let her back out and wait on the Lord, her own man will locate her. Another way out is to pray and fast, the both of them should stand by each other. Nothing that is too difficult for our God to do.
ReplyDeletePoster One, your wife has gone back to her old ways.
ReplyDeletePoster Two, she should wait upon the Lord, or if she decides to marry the man, they should not have children, but adopt.
Na really wah o. Over to the wise ones. *grabs a chair*
ReplyDeletePoster 1: stop using the lesbian thing as an excuse just yet, first it might even be she doesn't find u attractive anymore, it can be that her inability to have kids has scared her so she just doesn't want to go through the torment of it all. Also, she might now see love making as a chore or also depending on what's happening around her.Its not abt being tired of her these things take time for a woman to come around before ud start looking for an excuse to go outside now.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: do u also know u r also pressurin ur friend?Allow her not all fingers are equal, do u think d mouth he's using to profess love now is the same he will use if all medical procedures don't work for them? If in d end they have ss kids will u cry with them? Will u be there when their love turns cold for this simple mistake? U ma'a are the problem the world and desperate women have.
Poster two please desist from encouraging her to marry the guy. There is no medical way anything. How many fetuses will she flush out? Please for the love of God quit encouraging her. Better be patient, her husband will soon locate her.
ReplyDeleteplease don't encourage her to settle down with someone that is AS, I have a friend that is AS , a pharmacist , she married a Dr that is AS, everyone was against their union but the guy begged and begged and begged , being a Dr , we all thought things would be managed , they gave birth to two SS children , the ones that fall ill all the time that they haven't been able to go to school , their situation is so bad , the worst case ever , the guy walked out of the union , remarried an AA and they have a child and my friend is saddled with the responsibility of taking care of the kids , she has no life , her life revolves round her children because they need care all the time , the guy is busy with his new family and he hardly checks on his children, tell your friend to shine her eyes , God will give her a good husband without wahala of AS attached to it .
ReplyDeleteThis is a terrible story. Poster 2 read and be wise.
DeleteBV Fanny
Poster 2 tell your frnd the truth na haba, wat type of a frnd are u sef. You don't love ur frnd if u do u won't encouraged to do dat. Bad frnds everywia.
DeleteWell said Teebabe, i just heard of one too d young guy was 19 n was just buried. He went thru PAINS eh, d dad hasn't stopped crying. Poster biko stop encouraging her
DeletePoster1: Lesbianism is not an act that just evades one who has once been deep into it literally, those traits are still very present in her, and she probably married you due to family n society pressure to shut them up, & from ur narrative she seems determined to convince them shes happily married... my question to u is this... why do u help her keep up such TLC appearances in public? Pls start reading her the marital rights & if no significant change is seen, start singing to her hearing the chorus of a 2nd wife, i mean whats the essence of marriage if not for procreation?!
ReplyDeletePoster2: Its ill advised to believe theres a way out for AS couple, even if there is, which ive heard whispers, along with how xpensiv it is and also a 50 50 chance.. thats why i dont blame the SnM guy i read about yesterday that'd quietly delete you b4 gear one sef, he cant shout.
Gbam
DeleteGbam!!!!! Ur wife is doing all That to keep up appearances. If u still want ur marriage to exist get urself a side chick to assist her.
DeletePoster 2 :
ReplyDeleteStella I do not agree with you, as long as the couple is financially buoyant to carry out the necessary procedure by checking the genotype of the baby(do further research on Google) , it can be managed and they should be ready to have only two kids and also be ready to flush out any pregnancy that appears to be SS.
There are ways around it, but hope the couple is ready.
Do u know the emotional draining that comes with flushing babies? What if all the pregnancies keep being ss? It's not just worth it. And u think its a cheap procedure? Her husband will come. She should b patient
DeleteNow, read what you have written and know if you are not both selfish and stupid.
Delete@anonymous 16:06, you are not only stupid but crazy and a nuisance. It's my mb and my opinion, so go suck up on depression, hang yourself and die. Idiot!
Delete@anony 16:04, it was a suggestion, good you clarified further on the finance part, kudos on your mature way of critique!
'Be ready to flush out pregnancy'
DeleteHOW DOES THAT SOUND TO YOU?
Yet, you cuss out ladies that abort?
IS IT NOT DOUBLE STANDARD?
And you speak as if abortion is not painful? As if it is easy like flushing the toilet after use? What if complications arises and she bleeds to death?
Poster 1.. your wife is still doing licking, licking outside. Better go and look for another woman or side chick to gbensh.
ReplyDeletePoster 2... If they are very rich, they can marry. If they are OWUTE, OYO is their names.
Oga, woman tell u say she be big time lesbo before.... you still carry am go altar go wedd am... now u see the result? she still de lick pussy outside, no need for dick.
ReplyDelete#1..the next single n mingle is around d corner
ReplyDeleteGenotype wasn't a thing my hubby and I worried about. In fact it was never brought up btwn us.. BTW my dad is a biologist and a chemist and my sis a MD..is never for once a topic for discussion isn't my family and we all are married. I guess we all AA in my fam..
ReplyDelete*scream* Arrrrhhhhggg.... Wetin this one dey yarn sef.
Delete@la'creamie I wonder o!
DeleteLol,I am just as confused as u are la'creamie
DeletePoster 1;
ReplyDeleteI really don't know what to tell you but you really really need to have a heart to heart discussion with your wife
Since you stated she goes all lovey dovey when you are in public, she definitely knows what she doing the wrong thing
And if you try talking to her and your efforts futile, seek professional help if you can afford it.
If the professional help also proves futile, then I think you have a heads up to file for a divorce! We all know this 'for better; for worse' commitment have been abused by many marriages... Anyways, I really do hope you find HAPPINESS!!
Poster 2;
Your friend can go ahead to marry the man she loves irrespective of the obvious genotype 'problem'. Though, I am no medical expert, but I know there is a way to monitor the child bearing process to avoid a case of a SS child
**she definitely knows what she is doing is the wrong thing**
DeletePoster 1: Your chronicle is pretty premature... All i see is sex, sex, sex.......and conceive.
ReplyDeleteHave you cared to find out the emotional needs of your wife, or tried having an open conversation about what is going on what her.
You assume too much Mr......First, you assume she pretends about conceiving and when she sees her period, later on, it's her lesbian past.
Find out what is eating up your wife...... the lovey dovey acts outside is coz she still wants the marriage.....but pls, have her open up to you about her current demons then, determine if you two can fight it together. Your wife might have had lots of miscarriages or battling severe depression without your knowledge.....or she could have someone out there filling her needs.......either way, your pseudo presence is creating a condition of a distant non-chalant husband. Go get your wife's attention, date her all over, put it in prayer and have that talk........God help you both!
Poster 2: Is it your pressure?
Sometimes we assume we mean well, till we end up creating bigger problems due to our misguided good intentions.
You have two kids....great,
Everyone is asking for her aso-ebi......hold it...
She just got out of a bad relationship......has she properly healed?.......
Now, an old friend with genotype incompatibility and i dare say one of others.......if somehow her concern has you sending a chronicle..........comes along and?????
This is not your chronicle Ma'am....... but you are an amazing dear friend. Your part in the story is to encourage your friend to seek God's will for a spousal choice, and aid her knowledge of the implications of raising sicklers. If you have seen children in crisis, trust me, you will NEVER EVER encourage this.
Medical interventions or not, sometimes a couple may go ahead, get married with the hope of terminating pregnancies that would bring forth sicklers........and when that becomes their reality....guts fail them, their morality is questioned, their conscience is overflogged...and just maybe, they grab their bibles and pray, hoping for a miracle. When that miracle never happens....... you will be that friend that helped that scenario happen. Pls watch your concern!
Your talk on poster 1 is rubbish.... Total rubbish, imaging u saying his narrative is premature n full of sex, isn't it the problem here?? Should he tell u how his car broke down on 3rd mainland bridge?? Why cnt his wife open her mouth to talk? And who says he hasn't tried??
DeleteMadam epistle.
Wao! Empress am so with you on this your advice to poster 1, I was going to type all of that but now I will just add...
DeletePoster 1 kindly ensure that you find out exactly what interest her during sex. Spice up the sex life and don't go bossy on her while demanding for sex. Although IMO I believe one should not make an announcement rather your gestures should say it all afterall na your wife not girlfriend, either way I wish you luck in an attempt to win your wife back.
Anonymous@15.48,
DeleteYou now think you've made sense? It is well with you! By the way, how old are you? I hope you're below 22 years. I pray you never meet bad "counsellors" like yourself.
@poster 1 if your wife is not a 'member of BVN' i will advice you send her the link to this chronicle cos you will surely get plenty advice.
ReplyDelete@poster 2 Haba! Fear God na. How will you be giving your friend such advice when the repercussion is more at a disadvantage than an advantage. She should leave the relationship to avoid regrets in future. "Prevention is better than cure."
Narrative 2: this as+as issue is by luck . I and my hubby of 11 years are both as. Though we met and live in abroad. We have 4 wonderful children 2 is AN 1 is SS she will be 7 soon and never been sick and the last one is AS. in fact I had them all true c sections and am still fit to have more if I want to.my last c section was d sweetest bcos I healed within 2 weeks and start exceeding immediately. And I lost 6 dresse size within 5 weeks.just tell ur friend to pray about it.shikena
ReplyDeleteStill too early to count ur eggs madam, ure not lucky..... I was hoping u'd say theyr all AA or AS.
DeleteMschew @15:23, how did your story epp the matter at hand? You are lucky? How? She is 7, was it not 19 year old that was recently buried after much pains? You know something, women like you irritates me because you like rubbing things on others less fortunate! You live abroad, and so?
DeleteBia, poster 2, you are a bad friend to tell her to go ahead, will you tell your son or daughter to do that? When the problem starts, that is when you will claim to have your own family problem to deal with!
Poster one: your wife is one of the lesbians on this blog.. Go to the anonymous post and look for the lesbians loitering that comment!
ReplyDeleteJust maybe you'll know the truth , if at all she wants to even be with you , let alone conceive . All the best.
Poster 2: life itself is risk , how willing are you??? At the expense of?? Think about that.
Poster one,I think d lesbianism stuff is affecting your wife,invite a counsellor to talk to her.poster 2 pls dt dare it,I have a sickle cell child and I know what I am going through right now,that sometimes I feel like hanging myself.pray and wait, God will bring ur husband becos if u go ahead now and marry due to pressure,those pressurising you will not be there even your husband when crisis comes knocking at any time of the day.a word is enough for the wise
ReplyDeleteOne: your wife needs psychological help.....seek therapy for her, sex therapy. No one has the solution for you here.
ReplyDeleteTwo: tell your friend to keep praying the real man for her will come, she shouldn't let desperation cause her am unhappily ever after!
Poster one,I think d lesbianism stuff is affecting your wife,invite a counsellor to talk to her.poster 2 pls dt dare it,I have a sickle cell child and I know what I am going through right now,that sometimes I feel like hanging myself.pray and wait, God will bring ur husband becos if u go ahead now and marry due to pressure,those pressurising you will not be there even your husband when crisis comes knocking at any time of the day.a word is enough for the wise
ReplyDelete1. You have tried poster. Sorry o. She must be beautiful and you must really love her because you never mentioned wanting to leave her. I think you should be patient and more loving, at least till you know what is really wrong with her. She may be craving lesbian sex and may need counselling and prayers. She may be having physiological issues like hormonal imbalance, so a medical professional might be of service. Also have you checked yourself, do you have body odour, mouth odour, do you snore, or sleep anyhow on the bed (some people subconsciously occupy too much of the bed and push the other person out), are you clean and neat? Do you know how to make love well and your wife's erogenous zones? A lot of lesbians prefare lesbian sex because their men don't take their time to touch, caress and pleasure them, it's not just about hammering dick. Seduce your wife. Also, do you know your wife's love language (there are books on this)? She may like kind acts, gifts or conversation or even PDA, which if you are not doing and you are expecting good sex, you are wasting your time. So much to say but I wish you the best. Pray for her and try to drop your resentment and look for a solution. You might be surprised and happy in the end. Patience and love is key in MARRIAGE.
ReplyDelete2. I would not advise your friend to take chances. What SS people and their family go through is a lot. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. She can still have a good husband. When you rush, you crash.
BV Fanny
Hardcore lesbians no get any bizzness with prick, e de vex them sef.... No sexual appeal there at all, if poster like be patient pass dog sef, fly her to paris for a romantic dinner..... She be lesbian be say she be lesbian... E de her blood.
DeleteYou never get wife oh. #hardtruth.
If she were hardcore as you put it, anony 15:55, she would not have gotten married. Hardcore Lesbos could care less about society, they stick to their convictions. Abeg poster don't give up too soon, or why did she marry you? She must have seen something in you.
DeleteBV Fanny
Anon 15:55 u hv said it. This lady may actually b disgusted by his prick.,. Oga u ppl shld continue to keep up appearances,tell her to bring her gf to d house. U too bring ur own babe. Enjoy dis life jare. Nobody needs to knw d dynamics in ur matrimonial home.
DeleteBv fanny it isn't true, this is Africa and we don't knw d dynamics in her family home. Dey may hv bin a lot of pressure to marry and she not wanting to disappoint her parents married d guy she cld manage d most.
Delete#1- Are you sure you are not the cause? Talk to her and find out what's happenning. All the best.
ReplyDelete#2 - Your friend should re-think, those asking and putting pressure on her, will they gift her heaven during wedding or what? God's time is the best.
@poster 2 .ure just plain evil.
ReplyDeleteLe boo is 29 and has never had sex. If things get down well, I'll be his first.now he is talking marriage but im telling him to wait more.i want to take my time cos I'll be getting into school this yr.the only issue now is that he jst wants to hv sex.and im saying no sex till marriage.he understands but jst can't seem to wait anylonger what should i do
ReplyDeleteWho told u he's never had sex? Stop being naive. Tell him u re ready to get married now,since he really wants sex and watch him change. My dear he's most likely deceiving u with marriage talk. Be wise
DeleteWait na...
DeleteLol....do what ur mind tells u to
DeleteSee this learner.
DeleteWhy do you presume the guy is lying? Because I met a man like that - 26 years and had never done it. Very good kisser, smooched😀 but his medical background made him fear STD more than anything else 😂😂😂. He confessed to me that he used to masturbate a lot sha ( so no be innocentia like that😜)
DeleteAnyways,I be badt girl. I did him, scatter his brain...and he couldn't let me go afterwards...I did shakara small. It's been 11 years and 3 kids
Poster 2 pls she should not be encouraged to marry an AS man since she is also AS. I remembered the advice my neighbor who is a matron gave us then while we were watching a movie at her place is about this issue she said and I quote 'always ask for the geneotype before yoy get serious with anybody once he is either AS or SS and you know that is what you are pls run, I too love am no dey ooo' patience is a virtue. Good things come to those who wait because if she goes ahead they will be far from love when the consequences will start unfolding.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 ask yourself questions. Have you been a good husband to her? Don't use this as an excuse to cheat because God is watching you from a distance.
You have made so much sense. God bless you for the words of wisdom
DeletePoster 1- what your wife is going through is psychological, she needs your live and understanding now more than ever, I think she feels she has failed already so why bother anymore?
ReplyDeleteWhat you need to do is sit her down when she's in a happy place and talk to her, gently and lovingly, no shouts, no gra gra, no threat of leaving her and pls, no talk about what she told you in confidence (her lesbian phase)!
See why some confessions aren't good for the soul?
Something she told you in confidence, you're now revisiting and holding against her, who know, maybe her change is due to one time you opened your loud mouth (you strike me as a loud mouth), women are emotional like that.
NB- Women, stop the mushy confessions, he's your lover not your priest!
Poster 2- you, madam, are a bad friend, how can you even suggest she considers one who is AS?
What happiness?
Sickle cell is not something to joke with and if you love your friend, YOU should encourage her to walk away NOW!
God is not an author of pain and confusion, this guy isn't her "Godsent".
SHARONNA
Poster 1, you sound like Teebillz. What did you do? Anyway no advice from moi till I hear your wife's side of the story. Na wa o! Nigerian women are really suffering. Women expose these men so they will stop behaving like children. Stop suffering in silence.
ReplyDeleteTaking care of a SS child is no joke. Have seen it first hand. It's her decision to make don't think i'd encourage anyone to go down that road.
ReplyDeletePoster one,hmm... I don't know enough to say anything. Goodluck.
Poster 2: Please advise your friend to break up that relationship now to avoid weeping in future. YOu mean in this time and age, you are still asking such stupid questions? Haba! Have you ever seen an SS person when they have a crisis? You won't even wish such for your enemy. Don't join others in pressurizing this girl pleassseeeeeeeeeee.
ReplyDeletePoster No 2:
ReplyDeleteProbably, you are encouraging your friend out of sympathy but believe me when push comes to shove.....the sympathy & love they share wont sustain that marriage. Nobody should dangle with the genotype incompatibility during courtship cos that will be playing with fire. An igbo adage says "adighi afu isi,jee kpuo"...Nobody sees blindness and still decides to go and get blind....
She will be happier for it if she ends the relationship...very hard you must say...YES..Take it from someone who is AS and has been in the same situation and subsequent guys that comes my way are still AS....
@ poster 2, How good a friend are you? are you sure you are not one of those pressuring her? hmmm AS marring AS is a disaster waiting to happen. I understand that people FAITH the situation but????
ReplyDelete@ Poster 1, Have a heart to heart talk with your wife. Find out if you disgust her and if she is still into women. Try changing environment and also get professional help. Goodluck
Poster 2,your friend should be patient. Her husband ll come. The stress is not worth it. The stress will kill the love they have for each other eventually. Flushing pregnancies has its own risks and it's emotionally draining. The procedure for checking if it's ss or not is expensive and draining. What if all d pregnancies keep being ss? I've heard of a case where the first 4 pregnancies were ss,they flushed it,and the man got tired...its not worth it. pls don't try God.
ReplyDeleteShe has spiritual husband poster 1
ReplyDeletePoster 1,there's no smoke without fire and there's something you are not telling us.
ReplyDeleteTell your wife to send her own part of the chronicle.
Poster 1...why don't you buy generator and put on the air condition for her at night? Who wants to be rubbing sweat on each other at night in the name of love making?
ReplyDeleteAlso check yourself, do you have body odour? Some men will return from work and won't have enough sense to take their bath and wear cologne or change their boxers just because they are married. They only take their bath when they get a side-chic but whenever they are with their wives, they will leave their pubic hair overgrown, armpit hair smelly and overgrown too,yellow colored teeth filled with hidden debris, cigarette smelly and alcohol smelly mouth, bloodshot/yellow colored eyes yet they expect their wives to jump on them.
Also, go and exercise. Being married does not mean you should stop exercising and taking care of yourself. Using potbelly to suffocate your wife and snoring like a second hand machine.
Why won't she leave the bed for you? If i am the one, i will leave the bed, the room, the house, the building. Infact every night, i will carry my duvet on the head and be singing "when shall i see my home" until the next morning. You cannot wake up one morning and kill someones child with your unhygienic circumstances.
No woman can resist a clean good looking man with a bit of a bad boy swag. I said a "bit"
KING XOXO MYSTERY
Thank you for this. My thoughts exactly. It is possible he has a bad odour especially with heat and the woman can't stand him.
DeleteAlso, I hope he is not nagging about sex and inability to conceive because that will be a total turn-off.
Hahahahahahahahaha......U get mouth!
DeleteBest Comment!
DeleteThank you o. Who wants to bang under the heat. Buy I better pass my neighbor.
DeleteHahaha XoXo Mystery...you are so funny yet your advice is sooo on point.
DeleteWeldone.
😂😂😂😂😂😂
DeleteYou are mouthed! Asweardown
Hahaha XoXo Mystery...you are so funny yet your advice is sooo on point.
DeleteWeldone.
Poster 2 there is something called PGS in IVF.Google bridge clinic Lagos call them and find out but u must be bouyant enough.It's a way of preventing ss but costs MONEY
ReplyDeleteMost women have the tendency of been bi-sexual.
ReplyDeletePoster one: you just need a deep conversation with your wife. Take her on a romantic dinner, weekend holiday, evening beach, just something to make the mood and atmosphere cool and calm. You will be surprised at how she will open up to you.
Let her know you love her regardless of anything.
Guy, you are on your own. No from me to you @poster one.
ReplyDeletePoster 2. Don't convince your friends to on with such a relationship.
Poster 1, your wife has spirit husband. If u are a believer go to Bible believing church or mfm together for deliverance
DeletePoster 1 : It is normal for TTC ladies to get tired of sex. You just need to encourage her and forget all those reasons in your head.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 : Please don't try it. Best Of Luck
Na wao. Some people sha
ReplyDeletePOSTER 2 PLEASE WAITE FOR THE LORD NO RUSH, I AM IN PAIN NOW AS I TYPE THIS BECAUSE BEFORE MARRIAGE. THE LAB THAT WE USED THEN FALATI MEDICAL CENTRE AT KIRIKIRI STREET OLODI APAPA WHICH IS USED BY THR CHURCH "TREM APAPA TO BE PRECISED" GAVE I AND MY HUSBAND A WRONG TEST PROVING US FIT TO GET MARRIED WITH MY HUBBY GENOTYPE AA AND MY AS NOW WE GOT MARRIED NOT KNOWING THAT WE WERE BOTH AS, NOW OUR THREE CHILDREN ARE SS, SICKNESS ATTENTION MONEY SPENDING SEEING THEM IN PAINS AND ME CRYING ALL THE TIME, MIND YOU WE DID NOT KNOW ALL THIS ALL TILL THE CHILDREN STARTED FALLEN ILL OFTEN AND ON, WE DECIDED TO CONDUCT A WIDER TEXT ON THEM THAT PROVED THEY ARE ALL SS. THEY ARE LIVING ON GOD'S MERCY BEING THAT GOD KNEW WE WERE IGNORANT OF THE FACT THAT WE WERE IGNORANT OF THE MEDICAL FITNESS BEFORE MARRIAGE.
ReplyDeleteMY DEAR DON'T OK, I CANT SAVE MONEY THEY MUST TAKE FOLIC ACID, BLOOD BUILDER AND LIQUID ALL THE TIME TO AVOID CRISES.
IS NOT AN EASY TASK,
I KNOW THE BIBLE SAYS THERE IS NOT SITUATION DIFFICULT FOR HIM, JEREMIAH 32:27 AND 30:17 SO WITH THIS SCRIPTURES I KNOW GOD WILL CHANGE THERE RED CELLS AND HEAL THEM AND THE BIBLE ASSURES ME IN JOHN 6:48-58 THAT IF WE TAKE HIS BLOOD AND FLESH ALL OUR HEALTH ISSUES WILL BE DESTROYED.
TRUST GOD YOUR HUSBAND WILL COME DONT WALK INTO TROUBLE WITH YOUR TWO EYES OPEN. THE WORD OF GOD I LIVE ON AND I CHALLENGE GOD WITH HIS WORD, HE WILL PROTECT THE CHILDREN AND HEAL THEM BECAUSE WE BOTH DID NOT KNOW.
BUT GOD HAS BEEN MERCIFUL THO. BUT I DON'T WISH MY ENEMIES TO GO THROUGH THAT EVEN. OK
Madam ur story always rubs me in a sad way. I knw God wants ur story to b a testimony. U didn't do it purposely,so God has a greater miracle in store for ur family. Pls ma,don't do any running arnd from pillar to post looking for miracles. Pls just face ur bible and God squarely. Ur testimony wld b earth shattering I can assure u.
DeletePOSTER 2 PLEASE WAITE FOR THE LORD NO RUSH, I AM IN PAIN NOW AS I TYPE THIS BECAUSE BEFORE MARRIAGE. THE LAB THAT WE USED THEN FALATI MEDICAL CENTRE AT KIRIKIRI STREET OLODI APAPA WHICH IS USED BY THR CHURCH "TREM APAPA TO BE PRECISED" GAVE I AND MY HUSBAND A WRONG TEST PROVING US FIT TO GET MARRIED WITH MY HUBBY GENOTYPE AA AND MY AS NOW WE GOT MARRIED NOT KNOWING THAT WE WERE BOTH AS, NOW OUR THREE CHILDREN ARE SS, SICKNESS ATTENTION MONEY SPENDING SEEING THEM IN PAINS AND ME CRYING ALL THE TIME, MIND YOU WE DID NOT KNOW ALL THIS ALL TILL THE CHILDREN STARTED FALLEN ILL OFTEN AND ON, WE DECIDED TO CONDUCT A WIDER TEXT ON THEM THAT PROVED THEY ARE ALL SS. THEY ARE LIVING ON GOD'S MERCY BEING THAT GOD KNEW WE WERE IGNORANT OF THE FACT THAT WE WERE IGNORANT OF THE MEDICAL FITNESS BEFORE MARRIAGE.
ReplyDeleteMY DEAR DON'T OK, I CANT SAVE MONEY THEY MUST TAKE FOLIC ACID, BLOOD BUILDER AND LIQUID ALL THE TIME TO AVOID CRISES.
IS NOT AN EASY TASK,
I KNOW THE BIBLE SAYS THERE IS NOT SITUATION DIFFICULT FOR HIM, JEREMIAH 32:27 AND 30:17 SO WITH THIS SCRIPTURES I KNOW GOD WILL CHANGE THERE RED CELLS AND HEAL THEM AND THE BIBLE ASSURES ME IN JOHN 6:48-58 THAT IF WE TAKE HIS BLOOD AND FLESH ALL OUR HEALTH ISSUES WILL BE DESTROYED.
TRUST GOD YOUR HUSBAND WILL COME DONT WALK INTO TROUBLE WITH YOUR TWO EYES OPEN. THE WORD OF GOD I LIVE ON AND I CHALLENGE GOD WITH HIS WORD, HE WILL PROTECT THE CHILDREN AND HEAL THEM BECAUSE WE BOTH DID NOT KNOW.
Poster 1: begin to fast and pray and your wife will join you in it in due time. Do you know why I say that? Carefully study these scriptures on abortions and see why you do not have "home of your own"; talking about a happy marriage with kids. Most of the women you read conceiving (tenth one today) after that TTC fasting post are doing so because they followed the divine steps to fulfill divine laws:
ReplyDeleteThere is something ABOUT ABORTIONS which I'd like us to see. When one kills (or encourages the killing of; see Prov. 6:16-17) innocent children, the consequences are three. 1. You deny yourself the joy of having a home (remember the Hebrew midwives who spared babies against Pharaoh's advice to kill them; God rewarded them with families; Ex.1) 2. You risk "sudden death" in the hands of another fellow/accidents etc. remember Gen.9:6 and thirdly, you deny yourself eternal life! What a life! God isn't going to call you to glory if you do not repent. Jesus said; come to me all you that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest; that's Matt. 11:28. If you do not repent, you'd keep on laboring for the Serpent. But if you repent and make Jesus your Lord today and begin to read your scriptures; you'd find peace and the above three lots will not be yours. God bless you.
My Neighbour is a Doctor who is AS and then he married an AS Woman too.The family objected to the union but he insisted.Let me tell you this the first two kids are SS,always in the hospital from one crisis to another.There are brilliant kids but they fall Ill all the time.Sometimes,we all rush a sick child to d hospital in d middle of the night.The third baby was born SS too,she died few hours to her naming ceremony.Please wait patiently for an AA person my dear,d rush is not worth it.
ReplyDeletePoster 2- you friend can actually marry the guy if they are both financially and emotionally ready for any of these 3 options;
ReplyDelete1) PGD IVF you can read this link (http://www.gender-baby.com/methods/preimplantation-genetic-diagnosis-pgd/pgd-overview/) for more info. Also, I'm aware DR Wada of NISA clinic successfully performed this sometime back but, this is financially draining
2) They can go for genetic testing before 10weeks (you have a 90% chance of losing the baby)
3) They can go for genetic testing after 10weeks (this said to be a safe option)
Generally, it drains you either emotionally or financially. And the first option is financially demanding but, if you are lucky and two of the embryo form then you have 2 kids with no worry.
All the best with your friend cos i actually feel her pain. And please no pressure should be put on her. I now have a thick skin. If you ask me about wedding, I will ask about your burial *straightface*
Poster 2,pls don't marry the AS wait on the Lord and He will give you a better person soon.
ReplyDeletePoster @, you and your wife should go for counselling.
Poster 1. I have no pity for you. She told you that she was once into women and yet you open your 2 koro koro eyes and married her, now you are complaining? Mstcheeeeew. biko park one side, after all you saw good women like me and looked the other way because you were excited about a lesbian woman. Ntooor. oh, you must also be very poor, how come you let your wife sweat when she is sleeping? how many people do u know f--k in hot weather, at least try buy I better pass my neighbor wey u go dey use sleep for nite, at least that one go dey rotate fan.
ReplyDeletePOSTER 2:
ReplyDeleteTWO SICKLE CELL DISEASE(SCD) CARRIERS CAN MARRY BUT SHOULD BE AWARE THAT EACH PREGNANCY HAS A 25% CHANCE ÒF A NORMAL AA CHILD,25% CHANCE OF A SICKLE CELL SS CHILD AND A 50% CHANCE OF A CARRIER AS CHILD.
TO AVOID ANY RISK OF SCD CHILD THEY CAN DO PRE-IMPLANTATION GENETIC DIAGNOSIS IVF (PGD-IVF).
THIS A FORM OF IVF WHERE AFTER COLLECTION OF THE WOMAN'S EGGS AND FERTILISATION WITH THE MAN'S SPERMATOGENESIS THE RESULTING EMBRYO IS TESTED FOR ANY EVIDENCE OF AA,AS,OR SS.THE COUPLE THEN DECIDE IF THEY WANT ONLY AA EMBRYOS IMPLANTED OR IF THEY ALSO WANT THE AS EMBRYOS IMPLANTED TO FURTHER INCREASE THEIR CHANCES OF CONCEIVING (THIS DEPENDS ON THE NUMBER OF GOOD IMPLANTABLE EMBRYOS OBTAINED)
THE SS EMBRYOS ARE DISCARDED.THIS TYPE OF IVF IS MORE EXPENSIVE AND MAY COST UPWARDS OF £6000.
A CHEAPER TYPE OF IVF IS WHERE THE COUPLE CONCEIVE NATURALLY AND GO FOR INVASIVE TESTS ON THE BABY LIKE CHORIOVILLOUS SAMPLUNG (CVS) AT ABOUT 10 WEEKS GESTATION OR AMNIOCENTESIS AT 11 TO 15 WEEKS GESTATION.THESE TWO CARRIES A 1% (1 IN A 100)RISK OF MISCARRIAGE. ALSO IF THE TEST CONFIRMS THE BABY HAD SICKLE CELL OR AS THE COUPLE WILL THEN DECIDE ON WHETHER TO HAVE AN ABORTION FOR THE SS OR EVEN THE AS BABY.MOST PEOPLE (ESPECIALLY BORN AGAIN CHRISTIANS) MAY NOT LIKE THIS OPTION FOR ABORTION. SO THE COUPLE HAVE TO BE SURE IF WHAT THEY FIND ACCEPTABLE BY WAY OF DECISION BEFORE EMBARKING ON THIS COURSE.
TO AVOID DECISIONS ABOUT ABORTIONS MOST COUPLES CHOOSE THE MORE EXPENSIVE PGD-IVF.
THE CHEAPER NATURAL CONCEPTION WITH INVASIVE TESTS METHOD MAY TAKE SEVERAL TRIES AND ABORTIONS TO ACHIEVE A NORMAL AA BABY.IT COSTS ABOUT £2000.THESE ARE UK PRICES AND MAY DIFFER IN NIGERIA. SO POSTER 2 THE DECISION IS YOURS
I HOPE YOU FIND THE ABOVE HELPFUL.
Thank you so much for this detailed answer. God bless you.
DeleteThanks
DeleteNice write up...
Really a nice comment.
DeleteMeans there are options, I have always wondered why science won't come up with a solution to this SS saga.
Thanks anon
Really a nice comment.
DeleteMeans there are options, I have always wondered why science won't come up with a solution to this SS saga.
Thanks anon
Why not prevent it than going through all that!
DeleteIt sounds simple and sweet, but IVF is on 50-50 chances, invasive and painful.
With the present economy, the rich are also crying.
Exactly My thought @xoxo. But your comment funny oo
ReplyDeleteposter 1 U with sex eh. this sex u are not even doing it well the reason ur wifey dey abhor u. forget! no be lesbian anything, ur wife get baby daddy that makes her come and squirt like a winch.. try juicing up ur sex life and u would see ur wife will be back to u.
ReplyDeleteImpostor Poster 2. shey na u be special adviser on marriage pressure solution abi? wait u never rub frustration induced acid before. na still Stella go publish ur matter and we go comment normally
#MY_TWO_KOBO.
Poster 1: You need to have a "come to Jesus" moment with you wife. I suspect she may have slipped back into her old ways.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: While it may sound crazy to some, morden medicine has created options for people to have healthy families. If they can afford IVF, Ask your friend to visit any reputable IVF hospital and ask about PGD: pre genetic determination (I think) it's an IVF procedure where the genotype will be determined before transfer. I know of a couple who have used this option and they have two healthy babies. I believe for every problem there is always a solution.
Yes
DeleteThanks
@ Poster 2
ReplyDeleteIf you are a true friend,you will encourage and steer her in the right direction. Not also joining the bandwagon of stupid people pressuring her to get married just so she can fill up statistics of their aloe I or wedding attended.
If you have ever seen a Sickle cell child,then you would understand my anger. At that point,even the child wonders why the parents went ahead selfishly to be together at his/her own detriment. I really wish I can see you dear Poster FRENEMY.
Society I believe is to blame for putting pressure on single women,making them feel unfulfilled. Sweetheart,if you are reading this,patience is key . If you go ahead to marry the AS dude,when you have offsprings with the SS gene ,that thing you call love will fly away sharply!!!!!!!!