NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
THE CHOICE IS YOURS
Hi Sdk.
I want to encourage those that experience abuse in their marriage with my story. The truth is that I married who I did not love, I only felt that I could live with him and there begins my years of regret and depression.
I want to encourage those that experience abuse in their marriage with my story. The truth is that I married who I did not love, I only felt that I could live with him and there begins my years of regret and depression.
I could tolerate him and his excesses because of the three kids I had with him. I was abused verbally and emotionally. In fact he could embarrass me openly in public and then apologize with tears In his eyes and I will forgive him. He was good in asking for forgiveness but deep inside me, I would cry inside me because I would think of if I could really spend my life with him:the father of my kids.
To top it all up, there was no money, no tangible income coming in from the both of us and I will get more discouraged.
There was no means of even getting something to do. The few things he tried to do got him into police net. I was never happy and it showed. Only my kids gave me joy, but then I will think again;do I sacrifice my happiness and joy for my kids... Do I keep living with a man I don't love because I want to maintain my dignity and respect? Do I play to societal values and stay in marriage because of my kids? If I leave my marriage now, how do I Survive? Where do I start from financially? And so I thought and kept thinking for years.
There was no means of even getting something to do. The few things he tried to do got him into police net. I was never happy and it showed. Only my kids gave me joy, but then I will think again;do I sacrifice my happiness and joy for my kids... Do I keep living with a man I don't love because I want to maintain my dignity and respect? Do I play to societal values and stay in marriage because of my kids? If I leave my marriage now, how do I Survive? Where do I start from financially? And so I thought and kept thinking for years.
Fellow Sdk bvs, after 8 years of pain, regret and abuse, I took a brisk walk out of my marriage without looking back.
I took the bold step believing that God will sustain me and so far he has. I am a new person now. I am happy and refreshed. Above all, I have peace of mind. Whoever is going through abuse in marriage and you feel you can't bear it any longer... Just let a few reasonable people know and then walk out. Even if my ex husband becomes a millionaire today, I will still choose my new status- 'Single mother'. I now have what money cannot buy.
..............................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
THAT BOLD BUT SHAKY STEP
Hi Sdk . Please don't show my email address. I want to appreciate your effort and charitable works... It ain't easy. I don't know where this brief word of encouragement should be, maybe in chronicles of hope. I got married to a man I didn't love and with a know - it - all attitude, I felt I could learn to love him with time. That was the beginning of my journey to a loveless marriage filled with regret, depression and hate. I was ashamed at myself and I felt embarrassed to be seen with him.
To crown it all up, he was not well-to-do and I had nothing serious doing. You can imagine the frustration of a poor man. He was so verbally abusive. He did not care if we were in public or not,even in front of my kids and my step children, he would call me or sorts of names and made me feel like I could never do anything right.
He hit me once and I packed my stuff out of his house but my parents begged me to go back.
I have actually packed my things up to four times in 8 years. I became emotionally drained and knew I had made a big mistake but I had some unanswered questions.
With nothing tangible doing, how do I take care of my kids?, Do I sacrifice my happiness and peace of mind for my children and remain in the marriage for their sakes? Where do I begin after all these years of being virtually dormant and lost all necessary contacts with people that were once helpful to me In the past? These were my thoughts for years while I gradually became a shadow of my self.
Fellow Sdk bvs, with most of these questions still unanswered, after years of nothingness, I walked out briskly out of my marriage. I stopped waiting for answers and took that bold and risky step that I had wanted to take for so long.
Fellow Sdk bvs, with most of these questions still unanswered, after years of nothingness, I walked out briskly out of my marriage. I stopped waiting for answers and took that bold and risky step that I had wanted to take for so long.
I am in my parents house now with my kids and i have regained my peace of mind and I am now refreshed and look my age. I know I have a lot of work ahead but with God and determination, I will pull through.
With these two Chronicles one is forced to conclude that poverty causes Domestic Violence?
Fix it Lord
ReplyDeleteThese stories brought tears to my eyes....I thank God for your lives and hope your stories encourage some women to take that bold step now!
DeleteBelieve me, most men, when they are broke, turn into animals in their homes!
DeleteI will rather stay in a bad marriage than watch my kids starve.sorry but until I get a tangible job I can't endanger my kids.either way I have to survive.
DeleteEnglish sha!!!!!!
DeleteThe two 8 year old marriages sounded like d same person trying hard to vary d same story, Dats why I suspect Sterling Stella came to d conclusion above.
Women, God did not address u when he said it's not good for man to b alone. He was addressing d men, so stop letting men and society define u by ur miserable marital status (married and mad).
Find work for ur hands and stop being dependent on men to feed and survive.
Receive sense!!!!!
The stories are the same and from the same person. I guess she sent one, felt there was some mistake, then sent another. I am glad for your peace of mind poster.
DeleteYou can fix this Lord
ReplyDeletePoverty na disease
ReplyDeleteCan you imagine the rubbish talk from two African women?
DeleteI feel refreshed now
Is either you marry for love or you marry for money
DeletePoster 1, why did you get married?
Una don still start again. .....
ReplyDeleteDomestic violence post I see here not chronicle of bv.
ReplyDeleteNawa o, same story from the 2 posters. I wish you luck as you both decide to leave while you're still alive.
ReplyDeletePoverty and DV, well I'm beginning to think like you Stella.
*Larry was here*
It is well with both poster.
ReplyDeleteVery similar stories with very similar words
ReplyDeleteRazorsharp
My dear. Exactly.
DeleteSomebody playing on our intelligence
DeleteMake I recover from yesterday's saga first biko.
ReplyDeleteWait these 2 chronicles looks like one person wrote i, pardon me if am wrong.
ReplyDeletePoverty no be better thing, it can be a contributing factor to domestic violence.
I reject poverty for my entire generation.
She probably sent in two mails,maybe not sure the first one went.
DeleteSame person sent in the 2 stories
DeleteSame words, same writing pattern, same number of years in marriage, same story line
Thank u people, my thoughts exactly.
DeleteDint even see others had observed same.
I think they were both sent by one and same confused person.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, I hv no sympathy for u. If to say your ex horseband has money, I for understand.
ReplyDeleteWhat then made u to marry him?
I guess the sweetness of his prick deep inside your Toto.
In ur next life, choose wisely.
Can sex be sweet without money or love?
DeletePoster 1, na ewu marigie
"Husband"
DeleteUse Vjay instead of .........
Must it always be about toto to U...derz more to Life than toto @ James. Some married ladies can marry a rich man and still be very much unhappy. Please always put yourself in some posters shoes before u comments... WACK
DeleteSame writer different way of telling the story.
ReplyDeleteWe're these 2 stories written by one person? Looks like. She sent the first one and she tot it was not delivered, she now constructed another one. Summary, a poor man is an angry man.
ReplyDeletePoster 1,
ReplyDeleteStop encouraging women to leave their marriages!...
Just look at the stupid excuse why you left your home...
The only reason why I will advise any woman to leave her marriage is if their is any physical abuse from the husband!,..
I'm sure you are a yaraba woman that can't stay with one man!...I wonder the kind Of useless men that fucks that your expired rotten over used pussy now!...
Nonsense!...
Poster 2,
Good for you!...
What kind of human being are you? It's like you are getting worse by the day, if you can tolerate verbal and emotional abuse does mean others should. Please watch what you to say to pple who are hurting. It's obvious you didn't get any home training at all cos like they say " charity begins at home"
DeleteWhat kind of human being are you? It's like you are getting worse by the day, if you can tolerate verbal and emotional abuse does mean others should. Please watch what you to say to pple who are hurting. It's obvious you didn't get any home training at all cos like they say " charity begins at home"
DeleteWhat kind of human being are you? It's like you are getting worse by the day, if you can tolerate verbal and emotional abuse does mean others should. Please watch what you to say to pple who are hurting. It's obvious you didn't get any home training at all cos like they say " charity begins at home"
DeleteEmotional and verbal abuse is just as bad as physical abuse I assure you. You are made to feel worthless and useless. Some even end up killing themselves because their self esteem has been destroyed. So she was very right in leaving to maintain her sanity.
DeleteI also thing both posters are same person. Maybe she felt first story was poorly constructed or didn't deliver so she wrote another one.
Thirdly Stella domestic violence is not caused by poverty. Both rich and poor abuse their wives/husband's. I've witnessed cases from both classes
Gosh,are u human at all.
DeleteU are truly an attention seeker. keep acting ya scripts
DeleteRotten overused pussy like your mothers own.....stupid queen of thus blog u are a bloody fool....your stupid parents sold u out to poverty has made u see marriage a a do or die affair.....illiterate moron
DeleteI really do not like this queen of blog whatevr buh i will rather go with her point. Why will a woman leave her matrimonial home just because she was verbally abused. That's nonsense! What happens to for better for worse. D problem with women is dat u expect a lot from men, everytime, my bubby dis, my hubby dat, d energy u should invest in urself and ur kids, u are busy catching feelings. Biko women should grow a hard skin, nagging nd getting depressed is not a quality of a virteous woman. I'm single buh my pastor's wife once told me that u cannot change a man, buh u can change ur perception/attitude towards a man if u want peace in your home.
DeleteEmotional abuse is suicidal far worse dat physical abuse. Take it or leave it
DeleteDon't mind this fake and retarded being,her verbal abuse on people is worse than d physical abuse.
Delete@ Anon 18:14...try and get yourself schooled and not spend all ure data on stella's blog!if u do not understand something do your research.even without an I. D I know your a follow follow and have lil sense or no sense at all.
DeleteSit and ask yourself ...a woman is married and has kids plus lil or no financial income and then just wakes up and walks out of her marriage over simple abuse????THINK!
Anon 18:14 wait till you get married, ur really senseless.
DeleteTrinity on point. I like you!
DeleteLet me share my little story.. Been in UK for the past 10years because of paper I couldn't work. Husband gives me 10pound a week for pocket money with two children while he paid the house rent and do all the food shopping. My eldest is now 9years old born in UK.. Still have one more year to go before I can regularize my stay. He's building houses in Nigeria while Im living in difficulty. I know God will surely set me free .
ReplyDelete10 what?...
DeleteWhat is that for?...your husband is stingy and wicked!...
Haba madam you don't have problem naa, with 1Opuonds per week u can manage, since he pay other bills. Which one is "you are living in difficulty while he is building a house"? Aren't you happy that he's building a house?
DeleteIf he keeps his money carelessly,start picking o,don't dull!
DeleteMy dear, paper matter ma serious matter for uk o
Delete10pounds a week wow! That's 40 a month. That's so small. When the kids need something does he get it for them himself or you do from the same 10pounds???
DeleteThank God for charity shops and car boot sales. In all I give thanks to His because I know better days are coming. Just need to be strong and happy for the kids. In a years time my eldest child will be 10 then I can file in and get a job without fear of immigration. It is well
Delete@ Ada nwabueze difficulty as in the kids sometimes stylishly steal sweet and candies from the shop when I finish the little pocket money. .I see them but pretends not to see,while their dad keep on building and showing off as a Londoner to family and friends. I pray the kids are not damaged before I can stand on my own feet. Thank you
DeleteYour children "stylishly" steal and you look away? Madam, do you know what you are encouraging? My goodness! If you can allow your children steal outside and term it "hardship" then I think you are a poor excuse of a mother! God help you and help your kids! 6 years down the line and they'll be hardened criminals and start dealing drugs on the street - you better be warned and guided!
DeleteHardship should not make you lose your values or fail to instill values into your kids!
Ada nwanbueze abeg no dey put mouth for matter wey u no too understand,10 pounds every week cannot get u what I wld get with 10 pounds in naija. U converted the money to naira and think it's big but over there it is not.,
Delete
DeleteMadam it's seven years not ten years. Your husband must have scattered your brains. My friend got hers three weeks ago and the child just turned eight. Pls go and see a lawyer but pls don't go to an African lawyer o especially nigetian ones. They will just messed your case up.
DeleteMadam it's seven years not ten years. Your husband must have scattered your brains. My friend got hers three weeks ago and the child just turned eight. Pls go and see a lawyer but pls don't go to an African lawyer o especially nigetian ones. They will just messed your case up.
It's so obvious that poverty is the number 1 cause of domestic violence. Men step up your game and be rich
ReplyDeleteI totally disagree. Insecurity is the number one cause of domestic violence not poverty. Both the rich and poor abuse their spouse's on different ways
DeleteTrinity xx Gbam!!!! Insecurity is the major cause of DV and any man regardless of his background can hv it.
DeleteInsecurities must not always b because of finances. Some can b caused by looks,height,weight, the man may feel his isn't handsome enuf for d lady and insecurity sets in. He may feel he is too short and the woman wld b looking @ taller men. Also any other physical area he may b lacking can cause insecurity and these physical things aren't only restricted to d poor.
DeleteOk, they're from same person
ReplyDeleteY do I feel poster 1 & 2 is same person?
ReplyDeleteDomestic violence is also present in rich homes.....not just the poor.
ReplyDeleteIt's just harder to see behind those designer glasses,flashy cars and plastic smiles.
Any man who does not fear God truely, is immatured or lacks self-control will abuse women.
The constant linkage with poverty is probably, due to qualification and quantification of the menfolk based on their finances instead of their character. Many men hold on to money as a tool of control,to define them, to feel good about themselves and may be all they can offer in a relationship. So when they are not where they should be financially, intimidation sets in for them and, abuse replaces money as a tool of control. ........There are lots of poor men that do not abuse.....Character is key!
Congrats to the women that walked.
I would say the common element in these marratives are women who are not financially strong enough.......They tolerated till they grew cold and walked......but all the same, thank God for you two.
Sadly, these stories will not dissuade singles who are desperate to escape the Gweg's stigma....... they will tolerate, and make excuses......all for a circular metal with a prominent stone and a title.
You can never see a rich man abusing his wife physically...
DeleteIt's not possible empress know it all!,..
Empress na lie abeg!
DeleteIf rich man wan slap u..e go slap u with dollars.
Truth is, its more pronounced with poverty.
The men are frustrated
The women do not respect dia husbands anymore as they are the sole breadwinner.
The man feels like, he his losing his hold as the head...and thinks showing physical dominance can put the woman in her position.
Money plays a major role in DV weda u like it or not.
It strains the relationship.
Am not saying DV doesn't occur in wealthy families o. But poverty plays a role in it.
Check out d cases we av heard on this blog both BV and news.
Thank you for this comment!
DeleteYou just wrote my mind.
DeleteThis queen poverty mentality is deep rooted into your brain, you practically worship money
DeleteStella go back to DV diary
It seems both entries were sent by same person
ReplyDeleteU all keep zooming in and out of your marriages like it's apapa amusement park,what the hell is wrong with you people? Small thing, fiam una don comot,even those that are just leaving becus the dude is broke,anyway, your lives,ur business.make I face front abeg.to all the single ladies yet to be married,may God not let us carry boyfriend as husband and then start sending chronicle up and down in Jesus name.
ReplyDeleteAmen!😀
DeleteMost times na oppression from friends and neighbours de contribute to them not tolerating sum issues, when u see u fellow neighbour de drive tear rubber car, she even de give pity u de give u lift from under sun, meanwhile u get good degree oh, she no even finish sch sef.... And steady another neighbour de fry chicken steady with ajebo kids running around, but ur kitchen only beans u de cook..... Oboy, then ur husband come back sweaty with same stories, then askn for sex, na shout u go shout for am..... As u de shout sef Nepa don take light, ur neighbour inverter don pick, and u no get fuel for ur i pass my neighbour...... Na run be that na.
Delete@pink shell, what you dont understand is that there's time for evrything. That u are poor today, does t mean u will be poor forever, same with bn rich. Growing up for my family wasnt easy but today, God has blessed us beyond measures. Where are those neigbours that laughed at us. Life is in stages hence be focused, have patience and be prayerful. "When there's a bowing down, there's a lifting up"
Delete@ 18:33 👍
DeleteNa 2 chronicles be this or na one? Cos the stories looks like it was written by same person.. Anyway tank Gid for ur life
ReplyDeleteNa 2 chronicles be this or na one? Cos the stories looks like it was written by same person.. Anyway tank Gid for ur life
ReplyDeletePoster 1 and 2: Just encourage young girls to marry for the right reasons, obviously u both walked in blindly & expected a miracle, maybe for some reason u felt prayer changes ppl, well u have ur answer there after 8yrs..... Its reality, common sense and right choice that'd bring u peace. Instead of the resounding chorus of "walk out of a marriage filled with violence"... Concentrate on lecturing ladies on how to recognise a one chance bus b4 its too late, even if i know they'd never recognise one even if its hits them on their forehead. #MarriageIsNot4Everybody! Everyone deserves a goodnight sleep.
ReplyDelete#Coca-Cola Addict.
Your head is there * wonderful advice.
DeleteChronicle has landed. Opens totoh.
ReplyDeletePoverty is a disease.
Please close that smelling borehole.
DeletePoors cameroun pepper inside*
DeleteSP
DeleteSomeone gave birth to this one oh
DeleteWow...u now read with your totoh???
DeletePoster 2, serves you right.
ReplyDeleteWhy didn't you cool down and choose a good man? I guess the sweetness of Prick and Toto covered ur eyes.
U are now in your papa house with another man children. And with no hope of another suitor.
I hope this will teach all these stupid useless foolish young girls of nowadays. that think with their punani instead of with their brain.
Stop falling in useless love with poor lazy good for nothing men. Na sufferness and regret go be ur portion in d future.
Don't be a mumu bcos of nonsense love.
I think you are obsessed with Sex,all your comments on this blog must relate with Sex.may God save your soul soon.
DeleteJames all I feel for u is pity.u need help with ur depression.
DeleteJames you are a pervert. Pervert Alert.
DeleteThe main issues here is ur men are not well to do..no money..no love..when money dey..darling darling..when money finish..scatter scatter
ReplyDeletePoster 1&2.... Make una pack well make we see road jo, who send una to jump inside fire? You're not in love yet u jump marry, bringing in children that'd behave lik their fathers 2mr and maltreat well behaved people from well groomed homes, constituting more niussance all over. Carry ur cross jo, if uv found peace good for u..... Who send u msg? And u poster 2, who need ur email address?? Have u ever seen stella post sum1s email here? Ur husbands beating de affect ur reading part of ur brain abi
ReplyDeleteLmao @ who needs ur email?😀😀😀
DeleteLmao @ the way u ppl carry Jesus matter for head.
DeleteJesus wldnt pick ur spouse for u.
And even if he does he wld keep ur marriage.
My pastor's wife brought my pastor to know Jesus b4 the man became a pastor(I no go mention him name to cover him secret)
My dear when d house too hot for this woman she picked up her kids n left him...mind u, she is also a woman of God oo.
U wld pick ur spouse urself with common sense...be watchful of his weaknesses and ask ursef if u can live with it....AFTERALL UNBELIEVERS AND MUSLImS HAVE LASTING MARRIAGES TOO.
Plz leave Jesus alone..he is busy curing cancers biko.
Lmao @who need ur email address.
DeleteZero chillzz
When there is no love in the relationship/marriage,it is bound to fail. We need to understand d concept of love in those human affairs. Even wen there is wealth and "level,without love it won't last.one may pretend to be tapping happiness from those possessions buh deep inside he/she will be hurting. Finally,without God's intervention in our unions we will not scale through. Thanks
ReplyDeleteStella it's not poverty,there are poor people that are still in their marriages,this is what happens when desperation takes over and you get married without hearing from your maker. You can't give Jesus backstage in your life,ignore the voice of the Holyspirit,ignore that lil doubt u get,every time you look at him,still walk into that marriage and expect a chocolate life. The first poster said she married who she didn't even love,can u beat that? Even Jesus died because he first loved us,how can u say I do and try to spend forever with someone you don't love? For the love of Mike!
ReplyDeleteTHESE TWO LADIES SHOULD COVER THEIR FACES IN SHAME.
ReplyDeleteYou simply walked out of your marriage because you husbands is not "rich to you greed". If a man left you because you were infertile, you will all curse him and wish him dead. Women should fear God.
Oh please!
DeleteThey left their husbands because they were poor and abusive!
Eggzacktely!
DeletePoverty is not d cause cos some billionaires abuse their wives too.
ReplyDeleteI still maintain that a man cannot get up n turn into a beast overnight, there must be a catalyst.
God bless you for this comment. Coming from a woman o!
DeleteBlackberry u r right, poverty is not d cause of domestic violence. Was Monalisa chinda former hubby poor when he used to beat her? Talk more of emotional abuse, wch is even harder to talk abt as a lot of ppl wld even blame u more. A lot of big women take shit and piss in deir marriage but manage bcos d money makes it easier, deir social standing in d community wld want dem to always portray d good family life. Dere are sum big women whose hubby cheat on them and flaunt deir girl friends in their wives faces all d time dt is a form of emotional abuse. But ur saying dere is something dt triggers abuse isn't true, dere are men who feel d best way to subdue deir partner is to physically and mentally remove all self esteem so d person becomes deir puppet. Some men are also very jealous and read meaning into every gesture d woman makes, she cld stand up and go into d kitchen and d husband can beat her for shaking her bum to seduce his frnd,even when na jalabia she wear. So some men are just psycho....
DeleteAnonymous 19:19 you just described my marriage
DeleteExactly!
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't change the fact that GOD HATES DIVORCE! Malachi 2:16. Well just stay single cos once you marry, you'd be breaking another law.
ReplyDeleteGod hates all sin, not just divorce, so stop saying that
DeleteLol...Stella, poverty doesn't cause domestic violence, infact when a man is poor, he's meant to be more romantic. I know so many rich men that hit their wives. Dino for example!
ReplyDeleteSame shits
ReplyDeleteDifferent posters
May God help
80% is poverty. I dont know why poor men are so arrogant and so full of themselves.
ReplyDeleteMy husband is a practical example. No kobo, yet so arrogant and domineering.
Please what am I even going to use as solace.
Its just my daughter I pity in all of this.
I was team let build together tomorrow will be better (worst mistake ever).
Make sure you don't get pregnant by him again.Endure until you have a better plan and option!
DeleteIt doesn't pay most women who marry men below dem.
DeleteAre these chronicles from the same writer?
ReplyDeletePoverty and frustration. You can't hear men like Dangote beat their wife/wives naa. Poor men out of frustration turn their wives into punching bag.
ReplyDeleteThis Ada u are so daft Walahi....always making stupid comments....u have never heard of a rich man abusing his wife....do u know rich people cover a lot from the press?
DeleteCalling her daft is a bit polite.. She's an effin moron
DeleteSenseless comment.
DeleteI concur
ReplyDeleteThank God at least women are learning now may God help them all.
ReplyDeletepoverty does not cause DV oh, and besides who said poor men should vent their anger on their wives.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 read the first chronicle therein you shall find the answers you seek
ReplyDeleteHmmm,same style of writing from both posters, could be the same person.. well most poor people are frustrated, any little thing can push them right over the edge. It's true,money can't buy happiness but boy,it is tough to be happy when you have unpaid bills hanging over your head,a wife demanding money and kids to take care of. Ah! When am broke I become like an angry bear,snapping at everyone. Yes and another thing, notice how everyone is in a much better mood when there is light?
ReplyDeleteBut the two chronicles was written by the same person na
ReplyDeletemy neighbor just left her violent marriage yesterday, i hope the remain women in my compound living in DV would learn.
ReplyDeleteMind your business.
DeleteChronicles written by same person.
ReplyDeleteMen, try to be financially stable before marriage oh.
ReplyDeletePreach it
DeleteWe women sometimes need to bridle our tongue. I'm in a mess. My DH has filed for divorce, I don't want to sign, I realised my mistake but he don't wanna hear my apologies! I didn't do anything bad, I only chatted with my ex o! A harmless Erotic chat, God knows I wouldn't cheat, my DH got to see d messages,i forgot to wipe them, he just concluded that I'm cheating, I've pleaded but I can't tell my parents d reason for d incoming divorce,n my DH has refused to tell too. I'm so ashamed but it was harmless. God help me.
ReplyDeleteHarmless erotic chat abi?? If its harmless, why regretn u didn't wipe it?? You think all men would stick around till they see a prick inside ur cunt?....... You better roll on the floor & beg.
DeleteYou got what you deserve,stop playing the victim!
DeleteAs for the divorce paper(s),don't sign!
Abeg God see u thru,i pray he forgives u.,,. Even if he forgives u,pls prepare ur mind dt he may turn into a Musa Danjuma. Pls just accept this behavior in good faith. I feel so sad cos u opened d gate for the devil to creep in..
DeleteAnon15:42,Good for u.
DeleteMany days na for thief but
Eh ya
DeleteAbeg ur DH should yansh down! If the tables were turned nko? Like he's a saint with no indiscretions. Mschewwwwwwww
DeleteYou must be stupid....why will you allow a man blame you for his stupid attitude....why will u have erotic chat with your ex if u are happy in your marriage? Is your hubby satisfying your sexual and emotional needs? If he is not and u look out then he now blames you? Be there doing mumu...if he cannot accept your apologies when he has no evidence then let him go....has he never cheated on you before? Be there blaming women and allowing him make you the bad person....is a woman a horse to bridge her tongue? Mschweeeeeeeeew
DeleteNa God catch o ! Errotic chat with your ex and you said you didn't do nothing ?
DeleteThank God I know be your husband o. You don loose o, you better know now.
Thank god your DH just dogded a bullet. You are not worth his affection.
DeleteAnon 17:29, this is naija oooo.... Dere is no 1 she wld tell dt wld see it 4rm dis ur angle. Did she tell him he wasn't satisfying her? Has she ever communicated this to her husband? So ma don't go and form robot cop with ur husband and say it is his fault . We are women and we are expected to hv better coping skills when it comes to sexual tensions.
DeleteWow!
DeleteAnon 15:42,
DeleteGo and knack a pigeon on his head and watch him forgive you...
Some of you women are not sharp!...
If I catch my man sending erotica chats to anybody I am leaving. Babe u no try. U are married and datz it. Instead if making yr home what it should be u are chatting with another person's husband or boyfriend??? Oya God Don car u. Cheating lustfully useless married people everywhere. Who beg u marry?
DeleteI stand with your husband on this. Why would you be having erotic chat with your ex when you are already married. Swear dt you will not give in with a slight excuse.
DeleteTo me o, same Chronicles one is Edited the other is pure, namsense!
ReplyDeleteKelvin Dat Edo Boi ( Stellz Cousin )
Ehe naw,before nko?
ReplyDeleteWhy so similar?
ReplyDeleteWhy so similar?
ReplyDeleteAnd i am forced to say that both stories were sent in by one person...I might be wrong.
ReplyDeletena wa oo. DV for every corner!
ReplyDeleteWas hoping to get married next month, my fiance's friends r spoiling his mind cos we had an argument about d food he bought for me n I told him to 'choke on it'cos he gave me d smaller parcel n ate d bigger one,i was angry cos I expected d bigger one. in presence of two of his friends, it was a slip of tongue sha,that incident made him withdraw n I've been sending sms calling him immature thinking it would make him talk to me, dude just lock up for two weeks now, no contact. D last one I sent was my ex is better than him,cos I left le boo cos of genotype ish. I need a therapist for my temper.
ReplyDeleteDon't speak whenever you are angry and learn to control your emotions.As for your boo,Give him some space,if he truly loves you,he will forgive you.Work on yourself tho,you have a long way to go.
DeleteHian madam sorry oooo, even if ur fiancé is my brother I wld tell him not to marry u oo. U hv a very sharp mouth,though u hv admitted so urself. Pls u guys shld break up, his frnds wld hv no respect for him if he shld marry u. Start afresh and change ur ways with ur new partner.
DeleteAnon 15:51,u r a bad wife in d making.
DeleteIf d guy is a peaceful man. He should run for his dear life.
Just look at what u told him even before entering his house.
This is d red flag. I hope he can read d hand writing on d wall
Poster,you are not well.how can you disrespect your man in the presence of his friends? Are u high?besides,why should he give you the bigger parcel considering that females eat less?shame on you that you insulted ur fiance over food.if am him,I'd kiss you goodbye
DeleteYour mouth don put u for trouble plus you are an olojukokoro. Go for deliverance!
DeleteThank God he's slipping away from you. You didn't deserve a good man from what I read up there.
DeleteLoser !
This has to be a joke
DeleteHe's better off w/o u .If u can say all this rubbish over food ... What would Yu say over serious issues? U are mannerless with a gutter mouth And he will pummel u one day , if he Dsnt leave u.
DeleteI stand with his friends on this . #teampeace
U really do.. For him to have 'locked up for two weeks, it means this ist ur first time. Thank Od u know u need to work on ur temper. Try pls
DeleteSo serious.
ReplyDeletePoverty does not cause Domestic Violence, Stella. An abusive partner will always be abusive physically and mentally irrespective of financial status. Like the first lady said, she us "happier" being single. Walking away should not be a monopoly held by just women. Men should also learn to walk away when they feel their continous existence would likely lead to domestic violence or when they fall out of love with their partners,
DeleteYou are very correct annon. An abusive partner won't change even if he make billion like Donald Trump.
DeletePlease leave all the talks, we still have good marriages today
ReplyDeletePlease tell them.
DeleteI know if the men were dangote, even with the bad treat meet, even if there use rope drag una, una no go leave. Mtheeew
ReplyDelete*Bad treat meet*....Wow, new dictionary word for treatment?
DeleteWat do you expect wen you all rush to marry? Calm down and wait for the right time you all won't listen. But why marry someone you don't love?
ReplyDeleteHave u fucked ur SnM love??? I sqw ur disgusting comment last nyt.
DeleteNot in all cases i suppose.
ReplyDeleteChronicles of married women
ReplyDeletePoverty can make a loving n gentle man very violent.
Money in marriage is like salt added to a pot of jellof rice.
Portable,but you begged for N8000 transport money to go see your sick father in the village
DeleteLol...hehehehe
DeleteWell, I will say poverty doesn't. Let's break this down. Why marry someone you don't love in the first place? Please make sure there is a connection, love and friendship before you marry someone. Secondly why rush to have kids? I noticed that family with low income have plenty kids, when you see rich people with 2 kids. Also, purpose of marriage is very important. The bible says two cannot work together until they agree. One is marrying because she wants to marry, over time the man realizes you married him out of desperation. Don't marry without Love (God). You can't support who you don't love, you can't stand him, you just can't, everything he does irritates you, the only thing you can tolerate is if he has money, if the money goes it's finish, no respect. So with all these it's expected that you will talk down on your husband because you don't love him and in return he will beat you. Please don't marry who you don't feel something for. A man you love , you will be his anchor, his helpmate, his support , you will cover up for his shame, you will lift him up and be the blessing that comes with marriage to him. Ladies get something doing also, don't depend on a man. It's not easy being a man, it's not easy, at least be able to buy garri, cream and some small things. Not if Oga is not around to buy onions that means there will be no onions inside soup. Be a helpmate. Don't rush into marriage without developing yourself into becoming a wife, read books, ask people with succesful marriages how they make it happen, women be contented. Don't compare your marriage with someone else's own because her husband is buying her lace, you will nag your husband for lace. Let God be first in your marriage. Marriage is easy with God, the right heart and the right intentions
ReplyDeleteGod bless you for this piece
DeleteDon't I just love this comment
DeleteWhat if it is the other way round where you married the man with the right thoughts of helping, supporting, loving and covering and the man ends up being a liability who does not realise his role as a husband and father and eventually turns you into a slave to work all these out simply because you are working and he is expecting a miracle? should that woman continue to stay just so that she's not seen as a divorcee or bow to societal pressure of living in the pain of marriage. Abeg we don see tire. Type of marriage wey no fit be prayer point for single girl.
DeleteSo cute, you hit the nail n the head.
DeleteAt least with my few years experience in marriage, I can say the following
1. Get a job before marriage, before 30, before kids
2. Wait at least 1 year after marriage before kids
3. Space your kids very well for your peace of mind nd health
4. Have as little amount of children as possible..to avoid stories in the future
Chronicles of married women
ReplyDeletePoverty can make a loving n gentle man very violent.
Money in marriage is like salt added to a pot of jellof rice.
Mumu what is jellof rice? Bush rat
DeleteMtheeew what is the moral of this stories. I will Enjoy my marriage till infinity.
ReplyDeleteThank God you both left!
ReplyDeleteIts better to be alone than being with someone who makes you feel worthless.May God send you both helpers.
Domestic violence has nothing to do with being rich or poor,it all depends on the MAN.
Nobody forced d both of u to marry guys u don't love.....dats no 1 ........ No 2 ------ Since both guys r poor and neither of you married for love .....WHY THEN DID U GET MARRIED IN THE FIRST PLACE?????
ReplyDeleteGood question if you ask me
DeleteMine is ever worst,I hate my husband with passion,I regret marry animal like him,old fool,abusers,I can't stand him at all.
ReplyDeleteThis is a public forum...stop it.have some decency
DeletePlease did they bury your placenta there.
DeleteGoing through emotional abuse,everyday with A man I call mistake.God help me wit my kids.
ReplyDeleteIn my own case,my hubby shouts at me everywhere,looks at me angrily in public,has never complimented my good looks,I am also a good cook.He wants me to adore and worship him,dictates what i should wear.I dont have an opinion over my life cos i must do what he says.He is not poor,he even asked me to leave my job but I refused because I will finally save up and take a walk soon with my kid but he doesn't know.
ReplyDeleteOK. Stop bringing kids to this world in this condition...date rich guys...secure your future and that of your kids. :)
ReplyDeleteBoth stories seem so similar.I wish both poster the best as they start dia life again and pls ladies,dont marry a man u do not love cos u can't endure with him wen d storm of marriage sets inn. Truth is,poverty is a killer disease.it kills ur peace of mind and kills ur joy.There is no rlsp/marriage at can ever go smoothly without money.I mean atleast little money to do d little things needed.When d rent expires,no hope for d next meal,the kids are chased back from schl cos schl fee is long ova due etc pressure sets inn and temper begin to rise.When somone is broke dat person bcomes very edgy and losses temper anyow maybe dat is d case of dis men.God help them.
ReplyDeleteMschewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
ReplyDeleteMschewwwweerrrrrrrrrrrrr
Mscheweeeesttttttttttttttttt
Funny
DeleteMake una try marry men that love u even when there is no money. I have seen love marriages and is working.
ReplyDelete2 posters d lord is ur strength
It depends on how poverty is been handled. If the woman is not working to bring the tension down, the man will keep getting aggressive all the time because of frustration. If things ain't working well for men the way they want it, they become aggressive before you know it and begin to do unbelievable things.
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm not here to advise.
Domestic violence knows no status...the rich men also hit their wives but when she thinks of the luxury she's endowed with she keeps quiet besides wealth comes with control and power.most rich wives are scared go speak up for fear of divorce...To be candid, a woman would endure aslong as there's money except her parents are equally rich or there's a higher bidder.
ReplyDeleteDid you say Poverty? I still I would blame it on women not financially independent and the male ego,but these things have been there in our forefather's marriage yet they persevered,that brings me to women of nowadays lack the endurance our parents had,another cause is having too much body counts before marriage,makes one wanna compare our partner with others we have been with...I am team God hates divorce o o o,is there anything impossible for God to do? God can fix that marriage,yes he can!
ReplyDeleteLet me add by saying what most of us preceive as love is not love but strong sexual attraction and passion,love is deeper,and it is a conscious effort,saying despite all,I still love my partner! Women should be financially independent,I believe nowadays teaching jobs are readily available...
Did you say Poverty? I still I would blame it on women not financially independent and the male ego,but these things have been there in our forefather's marriage yet they persevered,that brings me to women of nowadays lack the endurance our parents had,another cause is having too much body counts before marriage,makes one wanna compare our partner with others we have been with...I am team God hates divorce o o o,is there anything impossible for God to do? God can fix that marriage,yes he can!
ReplyDeleteLet me add by saying what most of us preceive as love is not love but strong sexual attraction and passion,love is deeper,and it is a conscious effort,saying despite all,I still love my partner! Women should be financially independent,I believe nowadays teaching jobs are readily available...
My elder sister's case is like the first narrative. She has 4 kids but it's been trouble from one month to another. He doesn't have a good job, and doesnot want her to do any either.
ReplyDeleteMy parents have settled and they are. Tired, as I speak now, they are having issues. Me and my brother usually contribute to the children's fees. He beats her up once a while and verbally abuse her on frequent basis.
I feel I shd help her contact someone on human rights for women and see how they can help. If I need to help her then the responsibility of accommodation n feeding will be on me. And my parents might see me as a bad person for helping her break her home. What do I do.
Stella its high time u make a post and advice d female bv on ur blog cos base on dat chronicle most woman will feel justified leaving dia marriage bcos of POVERTY data bad partners are meant too support dia self by been hardworking a woman wont b at home everyday expecting d man too provide for d whole family in dis hard economy dats why i love igbo women dy arr hard Working dy can do any genuine business too make sure dy provide for d family and kids nt all dis souyh south girls dat leave dia
ReplyDeleteWhy did you deviate from English language after the third line ? Your comment gave me migraine trying to decode this bullshit you wrote
DeleteMarriages cos of dia husband is poor,dat means dy marries him bcos of money nt love cos wen u love ur husband u stick wit tru thick and thin dnt jst leave d marriage den send useless chronicles dat wil gv oda women courage 2 leave dia marriage my parents arnt weldy bt dy av ben 2geda for almost 25 years cos dy supt each oda nt leeching frm each women learn he too start any business hawking,stalls support nt leaving ur marriage dia by pasin d idea 2 ur dauther
ReplyDeleteStella i av a question and i nid an answet can u leave ur marriage bcos of he becomes broke?all dis women nw leaves after d moni is gone and some complain dat there husband treats dem bad read dis A MAN VAULES A WOMAN WHO STANDS BY HIM WHEN HE IS STILL MAKING HIS WAY TOO WEALTH,BT IF HE MARRIED YOU WHEN HE IS RICH HE WILL NEVER VALUE U COS HE HAD EVERYTHIN WHEN HE MARRIED U DIA FORE HE WONT VALUE U,UNLESS HE LOVES U GENUINELY
ReplyDeleteSome ladies are mentally sick for marrying a man they knew very well that they dont love.
ReplyDelete*comment by: BelieveAll.com *